Our Fan-F#$%ing-tastic Day
““Skydiving is an adventure” they said, “nothing bad will happen” they said, “no cross dimensional gateways” they said!”
“Dude, shut up...you’re giving me a headache.”
“How did we get here anyway!?”
“Hell, if I know, but we just need to get out of here.”
Two hours earlier...
The sound of the plane’s engine was drowned out by the roaring winds as they sat there, waiting to be given the “go ahead” by the instructor. Two people were sitting across from each other, one practically about to burst from excitement and the other having nothing more than an impassive expression.
“Dude my adrenaline is pumping right now! When is he gonna give us the go ahead?!” Because of the constant sound coming from the wind and engine, Spez was forced to shout so that Sycro would be able to hear him. “Oh, I can’t wait to jump!”
Sycro sat across from him with his head propped up on his hand, staring out the window without showing any real interest. “Just try not to forget to open the parachute, alright?! I don’t wanna explain to your family how we had to scrap your face off of the ground!”
Spez waved him off. “Pfft, I’m not that dumb! I won’t forget, my life will be on the line if I do!”
“No if you forget, there is no doubt that mama bird is going to be puking up your liver!” At that moment the instructor walked in through a door that was across the room. He was already wearing the green suits that every skydiver was required to wear for the sake of wind resistance.
“We’ll be over the safe zone in three minutes! Make sure you’re ready by then!” He walked back through the door he came through and shut it with as much force as he could muster, but its sound was drowned out by the roaring winds.
They both started to hook themselves onto the parachutes, with each buckle making a barely audible ‘click’ sound. Sycro grabbed a sling backpack that was lying next to him, containing their phones and some extra items. Spez didn’t really see any reason to bring the bag along, they could’ve just put their phones in the pockets of their pants, which were under the suits along with the rest of their clothing. He didn’t bother saying anything after, “I don’t know why you’re bringing that stupid thing, but whatever.” since he knew that there’s really no point in arguing with Sycro. He would just ignore anything that he says, no matter how important it was.
“Alright, let’s do this!” Spez practically jumped up out of his seat as he excitedly rubbed his gloved-hands together.
“Whatever.” Sycro stood up and walked towards the planes hatch, rubbing the back of his head with his eyes closed. “Let’s just get this over with.”
Spez joined him with a large ridiculous smile on his face, and now they just had to wait for the instructor to come back. Thankfully it didn’t take much of ten seconds before the instructor walked through the door, his short grey hair sticking to his head from furiously sweating. One thing about the plane was that on the inside it was hotter than a summer in Arizona.
“Alright, we’re right above our target!” The instructor shouted as he walked towards the plane’s hatch. With a flick of the lever the door opened and an effect of being sucked into a vacuum filled the area. They all had to hold onto something to keep from falling out before they were given any instruction.
“Alright, you got two cables on there!” The instructor pointed to two different colored grips on their chutes. “The red one is your main and the blue one is your backup! If you’re falling head first and have to deploy the parachute, go belly-down and wait a few seconds before you open your chute! Got it?!”
They both nodded in agreement and pulled a pair of tinted goggles over their eyes.
Spez was the first one to the door. “Okay just jump Spez, jump to your death,” Spez thought. As soon as he walked to the door he froze in place. “Crap” Spez looked out of the plane and saw the ground. “How did I forget that I’m afraid of heights?” Spez was too afraid to even jump out of the plane, and Sycro was getting impatient.
“Well jump, already!” Sycro yelled. “He forgot he was afraid of heights again, didn’t he?” Sycro rolled his eyes at the thought and without a hint of hesitation put his hand on Spez’s back.
“Hey what’re y-”
“See you in Hell!” Sycro put all his force into his arm and ended up pushing Spez right out of the plane.
“YOU SON OF BIT-” The rest faded away as Spez plummeted towards the earth.
“Love you too!” Sycro stood at the door and without any hesitation, leaped from the plane and started falling head first so that he could catch up to Spez.
Meanwhile in Equestria...
“You’ve been up all night Spike,” Twilight said as she tucked away the sleeping dragon. “You are a baby dragon after all.” Twilight exited the room, but not before switching off the light as Spike’s snoring quietly echoed through the room.
Not long after there was a loud ‘CRASH!’ that came from the main room of the library. Twilight had started tossing books off of their shelves and was reading through them vigorously.
“Elements, elements, elements. Ugh! How can I stop Nightmare Moon, without the Elements of Harmony?”
“And just what are the elements of harmony?” Rainbow Dash had flown into the library and now had her forehead pressed against Twilight’s, making Twilight backpedal with each flap of her wings. “And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy? Whoa!”
Applejack had snuck up behind Rainbow Dash and pulled at her tail to try and pull her away from Twilight. “Simmer down, Sally. She ain’t no spy.” Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Fluttershy had come up behind Applejack and they all started approaching Twilight. “But she sure knows what’s going on. Don’t you Twilight?”
Twilight’s gaze shifted between the five of them, seeing no way around this she hung her head in defeat. “I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her. But I don’t know what they are, where to find them. I don’t even know what they do.”
“‘The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide.’” Pinkie read from across the room.
Twilight made a mad dash across the floor of the library and knocked Pinkie out of the way of the book. “How did you find that?”
Pinkie bounced behind Twilight and said in a singsongy voice, “It was under “E”!”
“Oh.” Twilight for a second felt embarrassed by the fact that the pink earth pony was able to find the book before she could.
Twilight slid the book out of its place on the shelf and flipped to the page explaining them then began to read aloud. “There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known -Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty the sixth is a complete mystery. It is said the last-known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now...”
Before finishing that sentence they all found themselves at the edge of, “The Everfree Forest?!”
Meanwhile in an unknown location...
Sycro couldn’t stop hearing the constant buzzing coming from the side of his ear. He lazily move his hand up to try and shoo the pesky insect away. It stopped for a second, but that was followed by him slapping his hand against the back of his neck.
“Little bastard...” He mumbled a few curse as he brought his hand in front of his face to see the little mosquito twitching on his hand. He wiped it off on his suit and let out an exasperated yawn. It took his eyes a few seconds to readjust, but when they finally settled he found himself in the ruins of what appeared to be a castle.
He looked up and saw that his parachute was latched onto the corners of a hole in the roof, he also saw that it was nighttime. “Great, what happened now?” He looked around and saw nothing, but overgrowth covering a pedestal and much of the pane-less windows. He started struggling to unbuckle his chute and found the task more difficult than before. After pulling at it for about two minutes he finally unlatched himself, but forgot that he was suspended about fifteen feet off of the ground. He started plummeting and ended up hit his back against the solid stone of the castle floor.
“That...could have...gone better,” he said to no one in particular.
He slowly stood up and arched his back, trying to relieve it of the pain and tension from the fall. “Note to self, never sleep while hanging above the ground.” He looked ahead of him and found a stairway leading to an unknown lower floor. “First I need to find Spez and then try and figure out where we are.”
He slowly limped towards the stairway, his leg having took some damage from the fall. He noted the foul stench of the castle and how there was a constant cold breeze within it. He hopped down the set of stairs slowly as the pain started to lift itself from his leg. Once he reached the bottom his leg had fully recovered and he noted how much more ruined this lower level looked than the one he came from.
The roof was completely gone and some of the columns had been destroyed. also the windows on this lower floor had bars in them, the only real thing that this floor had in common with the above one was that there was overgrowth covering the windows and columns.
He looked around and noticed an odd statue-looking piece in the center with five stone orbs on five outstretched stone planks. Each of these stoned seemed to have the same jewel-like shape in the center, though that’s not what he was focusing on the most. He was mainly focused on Spez struggle to unhook himself as he hung from the center of the statue.
“Need some help?!” Sycro shouted mockingly.
Spez looked over his shoulder and the moment he saw Sycro his expression turned to one of anger. “You bastard! Why the hell did you push me out of the plane?!”
“Because if I didn’t you would’ve just stood there begging for your mommy!” Sycro stood under Spez and looked up at him, enjoying watching him struggle.
“Shut up!...Could you just get me down?!” Spez kept pulling, but to no avail.
“What’s the magic word?” Sycro asked, they were lost anyway, might as well have some fun.
“What?! Oh the magic word, how silly of me. It’s GET ME DOWN DAMN IT!” Spez started flailing his arms around in frustration.
“Hmmm...” Sycro held his hand to his chin and acted as if he was in deep thought. “...Nope, that’s not right.”
“I’ll kill you if you don’t get me down!”
“Mmm...nope try again.”
“Just give me a knife or something.”
Sycro rolled his eyes then pulled off his bag which was still on his back. At least I didn;t lose this. He mused as he reached down into his bag and pulled out a black pocket knife. He made sure that it was still closed and then he aimed it at Spez. He threw the knife and watched as Spez completely missed it and as it hit the floor behind him.
“Sorry can you try again?” Spez asked rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
Sycro rolled his eyes again and reached back into his bag. This time he pulled out a military-grade black steel combat knife. “Don’t lose an eye!”
Sycro grabbed the knife by the blade between his index finger and his thumb. He carefully aimed it so that if it missed it wouldn’t impale Spez. When he thought that his aim was sufficient he flung the blade and listened intently as it cut through the air. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look...but he cracked open one of his eyes slightly.
“Got it!” Spez exclaimed as he grabbed the blade out of the air, though he didn’t grab it without a price. “...i’m going to need a bandage later.” There was a small river of blood flowing from one of his fingers, but there was no time to worry about that now.
Spez started to slowly cut the buckles as Sycro stepped out of the green skydiving suit, revealing his Black Veil Brides t-shirt underneath and his pair of jeans. Once the entire suit was removed it also revealed the three-row studded bracelet on his right wrist and the red and black checkered wristband with a spiked choker around it on his right. He gripped the goggles over his eyes and pulled them off, his long messy black hair falling in his dark brown eyes.
“Finally, that thing was itchy.” She reached his hand behind his back to scratch, what most likely was, a newly obtained rash.
Spez was almost through the buckle before it snapped, dropping him about seven feet to the ground. As soon as Spez hits the ground there was a loud crack and pop coming from Spez.
“AHHHH!!!” Spez screamed in agony.
“Ugh! What is it now?” Sycro asked slightly annoyed.
“Oh thanks for being concerned!” Spez exclaimed sarcastically. “I freaking broke my leg!”
“Oh...well why didn’t you say so?”
“WELL I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY SCREAMING MY LUNGS OFF!” Spez winced in pain. He tried to move but the pain made him stop. “I think you have to call an ambulance.”
“Fine.” Sycro reached into his bag and fished out his phone. He powered it on and held it in the air. “Damn, no reception.”
“Great, that’s just great! Now how are we going to get help?!” Spez shouted towards the sky.
Sycro thought about it for a second before looking back at the building where he came from. “Maybe I can get a signal up there.” He put his bag back on and walked over to Spez. “Come on, I got ya.” He pulled Spez up and put his arm over his shoulder.
“Thanks man,” Spez and Sycro both slowly walked to the stairway that Sycro came down from, picking up the pocket knife as they passed it until an anonymous voice ordered them to stop.
“Do not move, and I might let you live,” The ominous voice stated.
Spez grunted in pain, “Oh haha, hey why won’t you be a dear and help us out?”
“What did you say, pest?” Before they could turn around to find the source of this voice an odd blue mist appeared in front of them.
They both raised an eyebrow at the mist, but before they could understand what was going on there was a bright flash of light that blinded them for a second. Once they stopped seeing spots everywhere they looked over at where the light came from and they both jump back, well Sycro jumped and Spez just fell back with another jumble of swears muffled in his mouth.
“Oops...sorry, Spez.” Sycro apologized sheepishly and then returned his attention to the dark coated horse-like creature in front of them with a horn and wings. An Alicorn?...I thought those were just myths.
“How dare you talk to me like that, monkeys!” She said before she clenched her teeth.
“Whoa, monkeys?! Just who the hell do you think you are?!” Spez shouted before wincing in pain from the sudden movement that he made while trying to prop himself up.
“I tried being nice, but it looks if you need to be punished.” The long horn on the creature’s head began to glow cobalt blue and they just stayed put, staring at the creature.
After a few seconds the aura around it’s horn and it looked at us in shock. “Y-you’re immune to my magic...but how?!”
“Magic? Just what the hell are you talking about.” Sycro looked back down at Spez and saw that there were small blue sparkles floating around his face. “What the hell?”
“Just what are you two? Where did you come from?” The creature asked as Sycro bent down to help Spez.
As Sycro bent down he ended up inhaling the sparkles and he got a weird feeling in his gut. He began to hold his mouth as his cheeks puffed.
“Dude, what’s wrong?” Spez asked reaching over to Sycro.
They both stood up and when they did Sycro let out a loud burp, but that’s not all that came out. Butterflies...freaking butterflies came out of his mouth. They stood there in shock as the butterflies just stayed there flapping their wings.
“Before I go freaking crazy...” Spez took off his helmet and dropped it on the ground. Then he pulled out his glasses case and put on his glasses. He blinked a couple of times to see the butterflies flying around them. He then looked at Sycro in a serious face. “Did I hit my head too hard, or are we both see those butterflies?”
“Trust me, I’m just as confused as you,” Sycro stated staring at them fly around.
“Enough!” There was the crack of thunder and the flash of lightning around them. They returned their attention to the creature before them, who had an angered expression. “I don’t know what you are, but I will not be outclassed by a monkey!”
“Oh that’s it.” Sycro snatched the combat knife out of Spez’s hand and held the blade between his index finger and thumb. He didn’t hesitate when he flung it at the creature and the creature wasn’t able to see if until it impaled itself in its chest. It howled from the pain and turned into that same blue mist, before it flew off into the woods.
Silence fell as they both starred in the direction that the mist went. “What was that?” Spez asked.
“It was an alicorn. I read about them in high school. They’re just unicorns that have wings.” Sycro asked walking them both over to where the knife fell to the floor.
“Well you shouldn’t of done that. I mean...wait minute. We’re hallucinating right now, but then again why did you hurt her?” Spez looked at Sycro for answers.
“If we were hallucinating, then the knife wouldn’t have stopped.” Sycro bent down and picked up the knife, what was on the end of it only confirmed their suspicions. “Especially if it bleeds.”
“Nope this is some crazy dream I’m in. I must’ve doze off while playing video games again.” Spez pinched his arm and felt the pain coming from it. “...We’re not dreaming, are we?”
“Why did you do that if you felt pain when you broke your leg?” Sycro deadpanned.
“Hey just checking,” Spez shrugged. He started to feel pain coming from his left leg.
“Let’s just get you somewhere that doesn’t smell like the inside of a public bathroom.” Sycro reached into his pocket and pulled out the pocket knife that he picked up. “Take this, just in case.”
Spez nodded and took the knife, “Thanks man, but can you please put me down. My leg is hurting really bad.”
“See, I’d never leave my friends hanging!” They heard a tomboyish voice say from a distance
“No time, come on.” Sycro took Spez to one of the barred windows, thankfully they were big enough to fit through. Sycro went out first and then lowered Spez down, though Spez’s leg ended up striking the ground harder than they thought.
“Ow-” Spez’s shout was muffled by Sycro’s hand.
Sycro bent down, but peeked his head so that he could see through the window. His mind drew more questions as he watched six, what he believed to be ponies because of their size, enter the room. Two of them were normal, two of them were unicorns, and two of them were pegasi.
“What’s going on out there?” Spez whispered to Sycro.
“There’s six ponies out there. two of them are normal, two of them are unicorns, and the other two are pegasi.” Sycro them over again noting their strange coloration along a weird symbol on their butts. “Plus they look like the colors of the freaking rainbow...and one of them actually has a rainbow colored mane and tail.”
“Let me see,” Spez demanded.
Sycro pulled him up so that he could grab onto the edge of the window, once Spez actually pulled himself up he had the same look of shock as Sycro had. “See?”
“Put me back down, I think I’m done with life for today,” Spez said as Sycro lowered him back to the ground.
“Look, we can’t just stay here, when they leave, i’ll grab the parachute and he can make a shelter out of that alright?” Sycro kept looking through the window, but what he saw made him consider just laying on the cold dirt and pretend that none of this had ever happened.
The five stones that were on that statue were now spinning in a tornado. He watched as a purple unicorn jump into the tornado and then the tornado and the unicorn disappeared.
“Where did she go?”
“What happened?”
“What’s going on?!”
They were all standing there repeating the same question over and over again. Eventually they started running around the clopping of their hooves starting to become slightly annoying.
“Twilight! Where are you!?” The orange pony with a stetson hat called.
Twilight?...oh god, she better not be named after the Twilight series or I swear, I am going to murder somebody, Sycro thought at the memory of being dragged to each movie. He physically shivered at the memories, but he decided that it wasn’t important right now.
“Okay I think I could handle more bullshit,” Spez finally broken out of his trance. “Tell me what’s going on right now?”
“I think it’s better if you just sit there and think about your life,” Sycro told him. Spez was about to say something but just accepted what Sycro said.
“Look!” A white unicorn shouted as she pointed out a window to the building that Sycro was just in.
Sycro looked over and saw that there was a bright white light emitting from the windows. He looked back towards the group of ponies and saw them climbing up the stairway. He waited until their shadows disappear then he poked his head through the window making sure they’re all gone.
“Alright, i’ll get the parachute.” Sycro climbed through the window and stealthily made his way toward the statue in the middle.
Thankfully they had moved the parachute off of the statue while they were bringing down those stones. It took him a minute, but he was finally able to fold up the chute and he separated it from the pack. He back out through the window and found Spez staring at the building that the bright lights were coming from.
“What do you think’s going on up there?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care, let’s just find a place we could stay for the night.” Sycro helped Spez up and was about to start walking in the direction of the castle before spez stopped him by putting his arm on his shoulder.
“Wait your parachute? I mean look at mine, it has a crap ton of holes in it.”
“And what makes you think mine won’t?”
“Come on, it’s worth a shot.” Sycro thought for a minute.
They were lost and they had run into technicolor talking ponies that are unicorns and pegasuses. Not to mention all the crap that they’d already seen, they would need as much supplies as they could get it they were going to survive here.
Sycro hung his head in defeat, know very well what they had to do. “Fine.”
Sycro started walking with Spez on his shoulder. Even though the building was higher than where they were, it wasn’t that hard to reach the top. It was almost as if there was already a path carved into the ground up there. But they had to get high enough so that they could get Sycro’s parachute. Thankfully there was a hill that just barely reached it they would be able to grab it if one of them stood on their tippy toes.
“Noooooo!” That sounded like that alicorn that they had met a few minutes ago.
There was a window under them, but most of it was blocked by the hill they were on. Sycro laid Spez down and he soon followed. They thankfully had enough space to see what was going on. All they saw was a tornado made of rainbows swirling around the alicorn as she screamed in defeat. They saw the other creatures floating in the air and the purple unicorn open her eyes and made a blinding light. After a few seconds the light dimmed down and they all passed out.
“Yo Sycro they’re sleeping, lets get the parachute and get the hell out of here,” Spez said.
“Fine.” Sycro stood up and reached for the parachute, he was able to grab onto one of the strings and he was able to pull most of it before the chute started to tear. “Are they still sleeping?”
“It looks like it,” Spez put his arm around Sycro. “Just pull that parachute down.”
Sycro made one finally powerful pull and there was a profound tearing sound. they both fell back and when they hit the ground Spez was about to scream, but was silenced once again by Sycro’s hand.
“Huh, what was that?” Said the now alerted ponies that were suspected to be asleep.
“Shit!” Sycro swore in a hushed voice. “Come on.” Sycro helped Spez up and they began their descent down the slope that they ascended from.
Sycro and Spez both limp lower and found themselves next to one of the windows of the building. For some unknown reason Sycro decided to look through the window. He was surprised when he didn’t see that alicorn that threatened to kill them. Instead he found the same six ponies he saw before along with an unfamiliar white alicorn who had an ethereal mane that had a shade of pink, blue, and green. There was also a smaller alicorn supposedly hugging the bigger one. It had a midnight blue coat and a cobalt blue mane.
“Dude, check this out.” Sycro helped Spez get a better look by pulling him up so that he could peek through the window.
Spez sees the ponies and the two alicorns, but he kept his eyes on the Cobalt blue alicorn. “It’s the alicorn bitch that called us a monkey.”
“Really?” Sycro looked back at the small one. “How can you tell?”
“Look at her ass mark, it has the same crescent moon as the last one.” Spez angrily looked at her. He moved his hand through the broken window and showed her the bird. “HAHA TAKE THAT!!!”
The small alicorn looked over and saw the, but before the others could look over, Sycro pulled them both down and covered Spez’s mouth. “What the hell, dude?!” Sycro scolded in a heavily hushed voice.
“Mmph mmph mmph,” Spez couldn’t talk on the count that Sycro practically shoving his fist down his mouth.
“What is it Sister, is there something wrong?” Questioned the little alicorn who is now looking at where the two humans used to be.
“Umm...it’s nothing.” They heard the little one speak.
“Come on you bastard.” Sycro moved so that when they stood up they wouldn’t be seen through the window. “We need to get out of here.”
They started heading down the incline which was somehow harder to do than going up it. After about two minutes of muffling each one of Spez’s pained howls every time his leg hit a root they reached to bottom.
“Alright...now...where do we go?”
Spez painfully shrugged. “Hell if I know. More important where the hell are we? I never seen those creatures before.”
“Well one thing’s for sure...we’re not in Kansas anymore.” Spez looked up at Sycro with a facial expression that said “really?”. Sycro just shrugged. “Couldn’t help it.”
“Alright girls, let’s get out of here!” Sycro instinctively pressed himself against the wall and peeked around the corner.
He saw the ponies leaving along with the two alicorns. “Hey Spez, they’re leaving.”
“Okay lets go back in and see how we will get out of this mess.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Sycro watched as they all walked along an unstable looking bridge, save for the cyan pegasus that was just flying over them. Once they disappeared into the mist he slowly carried Spez back into the castle and laid him down in one of the corners of the room. Remembering his broken leg, Sycro left the building once again and found two sticks that seemed to be about the size of Spez’s leg. When he re-entered he cut some of the overgrowth off of one of the columns and walked over to Spez.
“Man, it’s already swelling.” Sycro knelt down and put the two sticks on each side of Spez’s leg. He wrapped one vine across the top of both sticks and another across the bottom. He tied them loosely, but then he grabbed the knot on the top vine.
“Spez, bite down on this.” Sycro took off his bag and put the sling in Spez’s mouth. With one powerful pull he started tightening the vine. The increasing pressure sent bolts of excruciating pain up Spez’s leg and he started to scream, thankfully they were muffled by the sling.
“Alright, just one left. It’s almost over.” He grabbed the bottom note and repeated the action, and received another volley of muffled screams from Spez. “Alright,it’s done.” He took the sling out of Spez’s mouth and handed him one of the folded up parachutes. They started to unfold them and it was hard to tell whether it was easier to fold them or unfold them.
Eventually they fully unfolded both of them and laid their heads on some soft vines that had piled up over the years in the corner.
““Skydiving is an adventure” they said, “nothing bad will happen” they said, “no cross dimensional gateways” they said!” spez shouted towards the sky.
“Dude, shut up...you’re giving me a headache.” Sycro rubbed his eyes lazily before shutting them in an attempt to lose consciousness.
“How did we get here anyway!?” Spez asked, throwing his arms up into the air.
“Hell, if I know, but we just need to get out of here.” Sycro let out an exasperated yawn and rolled over on his side. “Now get some sleep.”
“Fine...but i’m not really sure if I even wanna wake up.” Spez rolled on his side facing away from Sycro and it didn’t take long before the two of them were out cold and lightly breathing in the cold air around them.
Our Fan-F#$%ing-tastic Day(part 2)
One sleep cycle later.....
Spez slowly began to stir in his sleep. He slowly opened his heavy eyelids which seemed to burn a bit. When he fully opened them he turned his a head a bit and found himself in the same ruins that they slept in last night.
“Ah shit monkeys,” Spez said. He sat up and looked down at his hands for a few seconds. “Damn it!” He slammed his fist on the cobblestone floor, but then he regretted it once he began to feel the pain rush through it.
“Son of a bitch!” Spez grabbed his hand and began to squeeze it to try and alleviate the pain.
Sycro began to stir and turned his body towards Spez to see what the commotion was about. He looked to find Spez gripping his hand and cringing in pain.
“Really?...I wake up and you’re already hurting yourself.” Sycro looked around to see if last night was a hallucination. “Great, we’re still here...I guess everything we did and everything we saw was real.” Sycro said in a strangely calm tone.
Sycro looked away and began to think before he heard an ear shattering scream that sounded strangely similar to his little sister’s, “HOLY CRAP! You mean to tell me that everything was real?!”
Sycro simply nodded, “This could be-”
Before he could finish he heard a thud against the cobblestone. “Oh you gotta be kidding.” He just simply stared as Spez lay sprawled out on the cobblestone, completely unconscious.
He felt one of his eyes twitch as he realized that he was now stuck with a passed out cripple in the ruins of an old castle. “I’m going to kill him when he wakes up.”
Sycro stands up, his joints making audible pops as he stands straight. He let’s out a muffled grunt as he begins to stretch and as more pops were heard. He looked around, but nothing in particular caught his interest, though there was one thing he wondered.
“Wait...do we have food?” Sycro started to look around frantically for his bag, until he found it in the window sill that was closest to where he had slept.
He gave a sigh of relief at the fact that they still had it, though there was still the matter of whether or not it had food. Sycro reached the sill and reached for the bag and as he grabbed onto the strap he felt a sharp pain reach his hand.
“Ahh!” He backed away quickly, grabbing his hand tightly along with a hissing sound making itself present. He looked up and saw a snake coiling itself around and squeeze his bag as if it were something that it couldn’t live without. “Oh, you’re gonna pay for that you little piece of crap.”
He didn’t want to go for it directly since that would be stupider than Spez trying to feed the elephants again...that mud got everywhere. He had to find a way to lure it away from the bag, without it biting him again, there’s no telling if it was poisonous or not. He approached it and tried to reach for the bag only to have the snake try to bite him again, thankfully he pulled his arm away in time.
“Damn...how am I suppose to get the bag?! It’s like the snake thinks it’s it’s eggs or something!” Sycro just stared at the snake as it flashed it’s fangs and hissed at him. “Maybe if I hit it with something,” He said aloud to himself.
He looked along the ground finding only little pieces of crushed stone and vines growing under the pieces that were still connected to the ground. He kept looking around, but the largest piece of stone he could find was no larger than his nose.
“Better than nothing.” He gave an exasperated sigh and picked up the stone.
He heard the snake hiss behind him and he just cast it a sideways glance, before turning to it. He threw his arm back and aimed it the best he could.
“This better work.” He threw his arm forward and flung the rock.
He watched as the snake threw it’s head back, though it was hard to tell whether he had hit it or if it had dodged the stone. It shot it’s head back up and opened its mouth wide, shooting it’s fork tongue out as it hissed. Sycro gave another exasperated sigh and just glared at the snake. He began to grit his teeth a bit and he was clenching his fists a bit too tightly.
“Alright you little twerp, you wanna play like that?” He took an offensive stance and continued to glare at the snake. “Then let’s play.”
He charged at the snake and held out his arms, ready to strangle the thing at any moment, though things didn’t go quite as planned. Right when he grabbed the snake by the neck he forgot the the windows only reach up to his thighs and ended up falling out of it with the snake in his grasp and his bag surprisingly still in the window sill.
All that could be heard was him rolling around on the ground as he spat swears at the snake, as it attempted to bite him multiple times. Oddly enough, he ended up rolling to the front of the castle and was still wrestling with the snake, how this didn’t wake Spez, we’ll never know.
While this was going on there was a quiet rustling in the many bushes that were close to the window sill that Sycro had fallen out of. A sapphire blue hoof, covered by a sparkling blue glass shoe, stepped out along with four others in a sort of prone position. It was that little alicorn that they had seen the night before with the larger white alicorn and those other ponies, and the one that Spez flipped off.
She was chuckling quietly, having seen the incident with Sycro and the snake. She looked up at the window sill that he had fallen out of and noticed the bag. She tilted her head a bit and stared at it, her interest peaked at what could be inside of it. She tries to use her magic to bring it over to her, but the only thing that happens is the appearance of small blue sparkles around the bag.
“That’s odd.” She looks around to make sure that she doesn’t get caught and once she’s satisfied she sneakily makes her way over to the window sill. She uses her hoof to shoo away the little magical sparkles and studies the bag. It didn’t look like any bag she’d ever seen before and had some odd looking silver devices on it that seemed to move along some odd linked shapes. She grabbed the device between her teeth and pulled back on it, but nothing happened so she tried to pull up on it. She ended up hearing an odd noise and noticed that the device had moved up.
“Huh?” She looked at the device and noticed that under it the odd line had been split apart.
She brought one of her cyan eyes down to the small opening and tried to look inside, but it was too dark to see anything. She went back to the device and gripped it in between her teeth once again, and she started to pull it upward. She heard that odd noise again and soon found that she couldn’t pull it anymore, she looked down and saw that the entire line had been split.
She couldn’t help but squeal a bit before she used her hooves to pry it open it. She looked inside and saw even more odd items, though one of them looked strangely similar to something that she had seen before. She tried to use her magic to get everything out, but found that it didn’t work on any of these things either.
With a frustrated sigh she reached her muzzle in and grabbed the first thing she felt in between her teeth. She pulled the object out and lightly rested it on the window sill without bothering to see what it was first. She looked down at it and her curiosity only grew, it was an odd black rectangular shaped device, that was only a few centimeters thick. She saw something near the bottom of it that was circular and had a white rectangle outline. It looked like some sort of button, though she didn’t really bother thinking about the consequences when she pressed the button.
WAKE UP SONG!( <(=_=)> )
Spez started to stir as he heard his favorite song start to play and a smile graced his face. He tried opening his eyes, but found that they felt heavier than usual and that his vision was blurred. He sat up, but regretted that soon after when he felt something in his leg move and a sharp pain shoot throughout his leg.
“HOLY SHIT!” Spez fell back down onto his back, and gripped his leg, putting pressure on it in hopes of relieving some of the pain.
The little alicorn froze as soon as she heard the pained cries and hid behind the stone wall under the window, in hopes of not being seen. But when she heard another cry, she couldn’t help but poke her head up a bit to see what was going on. It was definitely the same thing that she barely remembers from her memory. She looked at its features, and judging by the sound of its screams, it was male.
It had weird, but similar looking clothing on and lots of it. It’s limbs were long and had claws at the end, though they seemed to be rounded at the end. It’s eyes were small like a predator, it’s mane was short and black, but most important of all, it was hurt. Why isn’t she do anything to help it?
“I need to help it, but what if it attacks me?” she thought, though that seemed unlikely and since, by the looks of it, it couldn’t even move.
She moved forward a little and tried to look more through the window, though she ended up sliding a stone out of its frame, causing it to strike the cobblestone floor. Spez silenced himself immediately and looked around, slightly afraid.
“Hey Sycro, is that you man?” Spez looked around but he couldn’t see anything without his glasses. He squinted his eyes, trying to see if it helped, but all he sees is a blue blob.
He starts to move his arms across the floor, trying to feel for his glasses. He kept looking for them until he heard a snap and the sound of glass cracking.
“Ah oh,” Spez moved his knee out of the way, as he realized that he broke his glasses. He felt around for them before he found them where his knee and been and he picked them up.
“Great! First I broke my leg, then I broke my glasses. What’s next? Aliens probing my ass?” Spez looked down at the blurred ground, slightly disheartened.
She couldn’t help and feel sorry for the creature. Though, what she couldn’t shake off was that it spoke Equestrian. She moves closer to him and the similar chime of magic could be heard, along with an aura enclosing her horn. She made an aura around Spez, though it wasn’t touching him. But as soon as Spez heard the chime and saw everything around him turn blue, he started to freak out.
“WHAT IS THIS!?” Spez looked around him and tried to move himself.
“OH NO! YOU ALIENS ARE NOT GONNA PROBE ME!” He tried to crawl, though his attempt was cut short as he felt the sharp pain shoot through him again.
The little alicorn was able to hold the aura around him, though as she tried to close it so that he was in her grip, the aura dissipated into small magic sparkles like last time.
“Why art thou immune to our magic?!” She demanded, causing to bit of ground around her to shake.
Spez responded by turning to where he heard the voice. “What? Magic? What the hell are you talking about?!”
“What dost thou mean?! Does thou not know about magic?!” she explained.
“Nope, magic is not real. Unless you took a shit ton of drugs.” Spez thought, and then he squinted his eyes to try and see this person. He sees a sapphire blue looking horse in front of him. He tried to keep looking but his eyes started to hurt from the squinting.
“Excuse me who ever you are, is that your horse? Are you behind the horse? Sorry I can’t see worth crap.” Spez chuckled and winced a bit in pain.
“Horse? We be not from Saddle Arabia, alien.” She looked down at him slightly annoyed and with a scowl.
“You mean Saudi Arabia,” Spez corrected. “Saddle Arabia? What kind of stupid name is that?”
“Tis better than Saudi Arabi-”
“Get off of me you venom jerker!”
The third voice surprised both of them, and before they could turn in the direction that it came from, the double doors opened and slammed into the side of the walls. And in the entrance, Sycro was still wrestling with the snake. It had wrapped itself around his arm and he was holding it back with one hand while the other tried to pry it off his arm.
“Get...off...of...me!” He grabbed its tail and pull as hard as he could.
The snake circled around his arm as it was being pulled, and once it had completely come off of his arm it had slipped out of his grip and flew towards Spez.
The snake landed on Spez’s left leg. Spez’s only reaction was to scream like a little girl, and flare his arms around. The snake was startled and bit into Spez’s leg before it feel off and quickly slithered away. Spez couldn’t take the pain from the snake, as if the broken leg wasn’t enough for Spez. He looked at the snake as it slithered away and then to his friend and the mysterious women.
“Hehe, we’re off to never-never land...” Spez started to feel a bit light-headed, the next thing he knew he was looking up at the sky...has the sky always been black?
“...Welp, he’s knocked out,” Sycro said in a strangely calm tone as he stood up and dusted himself off. “Great, just more dead weight to carry around.”
“Tis your fault.” The little alicorn stated matter-of-factually.
Sycro looked over at her with an unamused expression. “Bite me.” He walked over to Spez and started to drag with to the closest wall around them.
“Does thou really require us to bite thee?” The little alicorn asked with a raised eyebrow and a slightly disgusted expression.
Sycro sat Spez up against one of the walls before he stood back up and looked over at Luna with an unamused expression. “Are you seriously that stupid?”
“Watch thy tongue!” She demanded, pointing a hoof at Sycro.
“And who’s gonna make me? You?” He asked, as he scoffed and knelt back down next to Spez to check on the snake bite.
The little alicorn looked down at the ground, she was obviously getting frustrated, but now wasn’t the time to try and gain respect. Sycro had inspected the wound, and while it had two puncture wounds, there was no sign of venom.
Luna looked back up, having chosen to forget the comments that were made and just figure out what they were and why they were here. She approached them, though she kept her distance not wanting to cause any more problems.
“...Umm.” Luna looked down at Sycro quizzically and raised a brow.
“Is there something you need?” Sycro asked as he whipped his head around and stared at Luna with a stern expression and there was a bit of hostility in his tone.
“Well...” Luna looked back at him with the same stern look. “Shouldn’t thou be afraid or running from us?”
His expression melted into one of confusion. “And why would I be scared of someone who’s three times smaller than me?”
“Your friend seems to fear us,” She stated, holding her chin upward.
“I’m sorry, who are you again?” Sycro stared at her with an utterly puzzled expression as he started to stand up straight.
Luna looked down at him, shocked. “Does thou not recognize the Princess of The Night?!”
“Princess of The Night?” Sycro walked over to her and bent down and stared into her eyes. “And just who would assign a pony as ‘Princess of The Night’?” He made air quotes with his fingers to emphasize how ridiculous it sounded.
“We should be asking thou what thou were doing out here,” She retorted staring back into his eyes.
“Counting the stars in Orion’s penis, what do you think we’re doing out here?! We’re lost!” His sudden outburst made Luna flinch and take a step back with wide eyes, staring at Sycro.
The alicorn’s expression hardened and she approached and stared at Sycro with rage in her eyes “Thou shalt not speak to us like that!”
Spez stirred in his sleep as the two started argue with each other, going back and forth, with thoughtless insults.
“But mommy I don’t want to go to school....I want to stay here and make cookies with you,” Spez said to himself.
Both Sycro and the little alicorn stopped and they both turned to look at Spez, who was still up against the wall.
“Did...he just…?” Sycro turned around and looked at Spez before he approached him slowly and when he finally stood before him he just stared down at him...
“Wake up!” Sycro raised his foot and ran it into Spez’s gut with as much force as he could muster.
Spez’s eyes shot open when he felt Sycro’s foot impaled him in his stomach and possibly bursting it, along with his pancreas.
“F-!,” Spez couldn’t finished his sentence, he was too busy getting the wind knocked out of him and trying to breathe as much as he could. “W...what the hell was that for?!”
“For passing out like a weak hearted sissy!” Sycro retorted, with an annoyed expression on his face.
The little alicorn stood behind them, dumbfounded at how they treat each other and yet they still stay together. She shakes her head as she returns to the problem at hand and starts to approach them.
“Excuse us.” Sycro and Spez both turn to look at her as she stops beside Sycro’s leg. “But does thou have any way that thou would like to be greeted or identified?”
“Gary Fucking Oak,” Spez told her in a sarcastic kind of way.
Spez didn’t like this little alicorn. All of this is so confusing that he can’t tell what is or isn’t real anymore. “I swear, my mind is totally fucked. Seriously are we on fucking drugs? Did I hit my head too hard when we landed? Did that snake bit created a new high?”
Meanwhile in Sycro’s mind...”What...the...fuck?”
Sycro sighed and turned back to the little alicorn. “I’m Sycro, and that numnut over there, is Spez.” He points his thumb back towards Spez who was still on the ground, gripping his stomach.
“Oh shut up and help me up.” Spez held out his hand for Sycro to pick him up. Instead of actually helping him up, a dark blue aura surround Spez, but it soon dissipated into tiny sparkles.
“Don’t bother trying to use your weird mojo on us. It’s obvious that it doesn’t work.” Sycro stuck his hands and his pockets and stared down at the alicorn. “Now, we told you who we are, now you have to tell us who you are.”
“Did she try to give me magical cancer or something? If she did then I’m having a shitty day,” Spez rubbed his hand hoping that he wouldn’t get anything bad or harmful from the magic. “Hey at least I didn’t get diabetes or something like that.”
“Diabetes?” Sycro turned a bit to look at Spez with a dumbfounded look. “Are you sure you didn’t lose some of your brain when you landed?”
“No...I hope so...can we find a doctor or something? I don’t think this little talking horse is going to help us.” Spez rubbed his temple from the slight headache he received.
“ENOUGH!” The little alicorn yelled as if there was a group of jumbo jets having an orgy. It was obvious the she was a little annoyed by the two constantly bickering, plus she was being ignored.
“HOLY BISCUITS!” Spez covered his ears and hoped that they wouldn’t be bleeding afterwards.Man, it has to sucks to be the guy in bed with her.
Sycro also covered his ears, thinking of how he could get payback if he became deaf. Son of a bitch, I bet the guy having sex with her is deaf.
“Geez, could ya tone it down a bit?” Sycro asked, taking his hands off of his ears as they continue to ring.
“Yea, i’m pretty sure you made my ears bleed.” Spez was dabbing his fingers in his ears to make sure that his ears weren’t a bloody mess. “Okay good they haven’t bleed yet.”
The little alicorn’s right eye twitched and started to grit her teeth. But in a couple of seconds she calmed down to tell the two humans her name, “Our name is Princess Luna, Co-ruler of Equestria. Now w-...”
“What the hell is ‘Equestria,’ and you’re a princess? Crap man, we ain’t in free ‘Merica anymore,” Spez looked at Sycro in a worried mood.
“...Eh,” Sycro just gave a half-assed shrug.
“...That means we can’t do what we want to do. Like they will tell us what to do for their country.” Spez almost fainted at the thought of losing his freedom.
Sycro knocked Spez right side of his head, “Dude we can be explorers of a new world, except it’s been conquered....by this...talking alicorn...what did you say your name was? Luna? Or something like that.”
Luna gave an affirming nod and looked back up at the both of them. “And thou said thou’s names were...Sycro...” She looked over at Sycro and then looked over at Spez. “and Spez, correct?”
“Yep.” Spez gave her a thumbs up but she looked at him in confusion.
“What art thou doing?” Luna tilted her head at Spez and he tilted his.
“This is called a thumbs up....it means good,” Spez and Luna still looked at each other with their heads tilt.
“Actually in the Middle East, it means ‘up yours’.” Sycro began to rub the back of his neck feeling a bit bored and tired.
Then Spez and Luna both tilted their heads towards Sycro. “What?”
“Yeah, even though i’m lazy back home, I still know a lot and I remember once finding out that a thumbs up in America, means ‘up yours’ in the Middle East. So you Luna.” He gave Luna a thumbs up and his expression showed some annoyance. “Up yours.”
Luna still looked at him in confusion, “What is this, ‘up yours?’”
Spez shaked his head and looked at Sycro, “Dude....I bet you got that information from the Internet. The Internet is a place for insults, porn, and bullshit.”
“Not really, I use to know someone who was from Asia, and whenever I gave him a thumbs up he would curse me out then give me a pointless lecture on why it’s offensive there...I even did it in front of his parents once, they never stopped giving me the dirty look since then.”
“Dude....he’s lying to you. You know what, drop it before we waste our time. We need to talk to the ‘princess’.” Spez quoted the last word as he looked at Luna. Gonna need some brain bleach to get rid of this memory.
“Whatever, I can’t change what you think.” Sycro sighed and looked at Luna. “Now...where exactly are we?”
“Thou art in the Everfree Forest.” Luna waved her hoof over all of the wilderness that surrounded the ruined castle to add emphasis.
“Reminds me of the South, except the ruined castle,” Spez chuckled a little and winced in pain again.
“Art thou okay?” Luna trotted over to Spez and looked at his leg.
“No....I broke my leg when we landed,” Spez sat back down to try and ease the pain. Luna tried to use her magic on her again, but this immediately frightened Spez and he started to flail like a baby bird trying to fly.
“HEY HEY HEY! What are you doing?!”
Luna ignore him, but, like before, her magic had no effect on his leg and just dissipated into cobalt blue sparkles and disappeared.
“I’m pretty sure we’ve established that you're freaky mojo doesn’t work on us.” Sycro said in an obvious tone.
Luna ignored Sycro again and tried once more, but her magic still had no effect on Spez’s leg.
“We are one of the most powerful beings in Equestria, why are thou not healing?!” Luna tried again but gave up once the same result as before happened again. Meanwhile Spez and Sycro looked at her as if she was someone who had been locked in a cell at a mental hospital.
“Because we’re awesome!” Spez flashed her a large toothy smile, while Sycro threw his head back and facepalmed, groan while he did.
Sycro looked at Luna curious as to how she would be able to “heal” Spez’s leg. “How can your voodoo, or whatever the heck it is, possibly heal his leg?”
Luna looked at him with a dumbfounded expression on her face. “thou does not know about magic?”
Spez and Sycro both stared at her with their expression full of surprise and utter shock. They took a moment and looked at each other, and took a moment to make sure that they were thinking the same thing...they started to laughing.
“Hahaha, yeah right!” Spez continued to laugh then stopped once the pain from his leg made itself present again. “Gah!...Ow...”
Luna stared at the both of them confused. “Did we say something humorous?”
“Well you said magic, and everyone knows there’s no such thing as magic,” Spez responded, with his words seeming to be forced as he continued to grip his leg.
“There is magic, how could thou believe otherwise?!” Luna couldn’t believe that these creatures don’t believe in the wonders of magic.
“I don’t believe it until I see it, so if it does exist then prove it,” Sycro told her as he crossed his arms.
“Fine!” Luna backed up from the two humans and looked at a near by large rock, easily larger than her.
Her horn started to glow dark blue and the boulder had gained a similar aura around it. The boulder was then started to slowly lift off the ground and it seemed practically effortless. Seeing this, Spez and Sycro’s jaws both dropped, both of them had become stupefied, not being able to think as they witnessed this feit. Luna moved the boulder over the bit and she watched as the their eyes followed, but without warning she dropped it and it ended up landing next to Sycro.
“We’ve proven it.’” Luna smiled victoriously at Sycro and Spez, still dazed by her performance. Luna giggled at their expressions then gave a loud yawned.
“If thou excuse us we need rest, we will get thy sister here to help with your troubles.” Luna trotted over to Spez and Sycro’s parachutes, but then looked over at them confused.
“What is art these?” Luna pointed her hoof at the chutes and giggled again when both Spez and Sycro shook their heads to try and regain their composure.
“Huh?” Sycro looked over at Luna and looked at the chutes. “Oh, they’re parachutes, they help slow us down when we’re falling through the air.”
Luna crawled under one of the chutes, almost like a cat, then poked her head out from under it. “Tis so warm and cozy.”
She crawled back under it, but this time poked her head out from the opposite side and then snuggled into it, like a young naive girl snuggling into her bed.
“Isn’t that uncomfortable for you?” Spez asked.
The his question fell on deaf ears as there was already some light snoring coming from Luna and the rising and falling of her chest was visible through the chute. Sycro gave a defeated sigh and sat down against the wall, the stared up at the cloud covered sky.
“Looks like we’ll just have to wait it out.” Sycro put his arms behind his head and sunk lower until he was lying flat on the floor.
“Shouldn’t we just wake her up?” Spez started to walk over to her, a bit quietly even though he wants to wake her.
“Go ahead, though I won’t help you when she gets cranky and drops a boulder on your other leg.” Sycro brought his right arm forward and laid it across his eyes. “I’m just gonna take a nap.”
“But we woke up about ten minutes ago,” Spez stated, though he had backed away from Luna after thinking about what she would do to him if he woke her and she was cranky.
“So? There’s nothing else to do, you can sit here and play with rocks, but i’m going to relax.” Sycro craned his head to the side, a small ‘pop’ is heard and he returns it to where it originally was.
“Fine, whatever.....dammit,” Spez got bored and grabbed a few pebbles. He started to play war with the pebbles.
“Men we are here to conquer mt. Broken Leg from our enemi-”
“Could you keep it down a bit?” Sycro asked, without looking over at Spez.
“Fine.” Spez dropped the pebbles and started to crawl his way to the entrance of the ruined castle. CRIPPLE SPEZ IS OFF TO FIND SOME AWESOME SHIT IN THE RUINED CASTLE!
