Chapters The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
Sundude and Moonbro fight Discord
One day Sundude and Moonbro were chilling in their castle when one of the pony-guys from the land next door showed up and was all,
"Yo, Discord's trashing our sweet land of Equestria and we need help. Are you bad enough dudes to save it?"
“No problem, broskie,” they replied. “We’ll take care of this Discord dude.”
So then they flew over to Equestria and found another pony, only this one was a chick, and the poor babe was hungry and crying because she lost all her crops when Discord came through with his chaos. The alicorn dudebros were greatly saddened by this terrible travesty, and they vowed to take down this Discord dude once and for all.
“We vow to take down this Discord dude once and for all!” they vowed with finality.
And so they flew to the center of Equestria, where all the chaos had been concentrated in a most confusing and disturbing way. Pigs flew through clouds, houses melted along the ground like butter, and ponies of all shapes and sizes were preyed unpon by all manner of possessed condiment and herb holders.
“This is so not right, bro,” Sundude said as the two winged-pegasi dodged a bucket made of apple cores that had flown at them.
“I know, dude,” Moonbro replied, “this is so unreal.”
Finally, after a most freakish journey, the two radical stallions arrived at Discord’s throne. His form was twisted, and each body part was made from a different animal.
“That thing looks hella sketchy,” Moonbro said to Sundude.
“I know, right?” Replied Sundude, “But we gotta overthrow this dude and save these helpless ponies.” He stomped a hoof down, and stepped forward to face Discord.
"Stop wreckin' these dudes' land!" he cried.
"No way, man, this is my land now," Discord replied, taking a bite of an apple pie tin, "I can waste it all I want."
"Your land?" Moonbro asked. "But the pony-guy said they got here first."
"So?" Discord replied. "I took over. Those dudes couldn't handle my awesome power, and this place is much sweeter now that my chaos is everywhere."
"That's not cool, man," Moonbro said. "You gotta leave and give these ponies their land back. Or we'll kick you out."
Discord laughed. "Well then, come at me, bro."
And so the alidudes used their magic to throw him out but he snapped his fingers and took away their wings and magic. Discord cackled evilly, and the two felt much unbro.
"You wimps need more awesome power if you wanna try and take me down," he said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to chill at the caramel-fudge lake."
"Hold on, man!" cried Sundude, "We're not done with you yet!"
Discord turned back to the two broskies, looking bemused.
"Dude!" whispered Moonbro to his brother, "What else can we do? This guy's totally too much for our magic."
"Bro," said Sundude, "just believe in me. I know how to defeat this dude." He turned to Discord, and once again stomped on the ground. "You may have all the awesome magic," he cried, "but you'll never get to be part of the most radical bromance in the world. And that's where true magic comes from. A bro's friendship."
Sundude stuck his hoof out to Moonbro, and the brother met it with his own. Their brohoof glowed, and a stupendously magical aura surrounded them. Six luminous objected appeared from the sky, and before Discord could comprehend the intensity of what was occurring, a rainbow born from their brohoof had turned him to stone.
"What are these?" Moonbro asked, holding the six glowing objects in his hooves.
"They are the Elements of Bro-Harmony," Sundude replied, "and we will use them to purify this land so ravished by Discord's most uncool power."
So they did, and the chaos disappeared, and the pony-dudes who inhabited the land thanked their saviors by hosting a most mind blowing party. They rocked late into the night, and in the morning the pony-guy who had first told the alicorn dudebros about their plight decided to make them kings of the land of Equestria, for he had been its king before, and had failed.
"We will rule most radically," Sundude agreed, "But the title of King is most pretentious."
"Yes," agreed Moonbro, who had had the same thought.
"Well then," said the former king-pony, "Let's call you princes. It's pretty much the same thing."
"And the people will be our kings," declared Moonbro, "and so we will not become such tyrannous tyrants as Discord was."
And so the ponies of Equestria rejoiced, and there was much bro throughout the land.
The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
Sundude and Moonbro solve problems
Many months of toil later, the newly crowned Princes Sundude and Moonbro sat in the royal throne. It was a comfy and soft sofa, with many drink holders so the two would never feel thirsty.
"What a bodacious day!" Sundude exclaimed as he drank from a refreshing energy drink. "It is so good to finally get time to rest after all this work."
"You're right, dude," Moonbro agreed, "Who knew that rebuilding the country would be such a difficult and most arduously hard task."
"I know that feel, bro," Sundude replied, "My wings are killing me from all this flying around." He sighed, and slouched back in his throne-sofa.
Suddenly, a scared looking earth-pony-dude crashed through the door.
"No! Our sweet door!" Moonbro cried, "You broke it!"
"No time for that," said the earth-pony-dude, "we need your help! Little Timmy has fallen down a well, and we cannot get him out!"
"Oh no! That is most uncool and perilous," Sundude said. "C'mon, bro. We must go and save Little Timmy right away."
"Wait!" cried a pegasus-babe who had just crashed through the ceiling. "Some griffon-guys are stealing our clouds!"
"Noo! Our sick ceiling!" Moonbro cried again, "You broke it!"
"Oh, sorry," apologized the pegasus-babe, "But I still need your help."
"Sure, babe, we'll help," said Sundude.
But then an old bearded-unicorn crashed through the window. "A horde of rabid bears are after me, and my magic only works on flying things! HELP!" he yelled.
"Nooo! Our radical window!" Moonbro cried again again, "You broke it!"
"Whoa, chill bro. I got this." said Sundude. "You, pegasus-babe! Go fly into the well and get Little Timmy out of there while beard-dude goes and takes care of those gnarly griffins with his intense magic. We'll go thrash those uncool bears."
"Sure thing!" the ponies agreed.
"And the earth-pony-dude can fix our castle," Moonbro added, "So we have a place to crash after what will be a most intense battle for our lives against these ferocious bears."
"Right away, your broness," he said.
And then the brodudes fought the bears. It was most intense.
"I'm drained, dude," Moonbro said over the corpse of one of the bears. "I don't think I can help any more of our pony peeps today."
"Yeah, me either," agreed Sundude, who was covered in blood, "We need more down time. There has been far too much work in our lives these past few months, and not enough chill."
"But what about all these ponies?" Moonbro asked, "We're Princes, dude. We gotta help them."
"Don't worry about that, bro," Sundude said. "We'll just start doing what we did today. Tell them how to fix things themselves, or hire other ponies to tell them how to fix things themselves. We'll only take on the stuff that's too raw for even the most powerful of normal ponies."
"That's a great idea dude!" Moonbro said. "You're the best brother a bro could have." And he stuck his hoof out to his bro.
"Thanks bro, you too," said Sundude, who met his bro's hoof in a brohoof. "Nothing could ever break up our bromance, not in a thousand years.* We'll be the best of bros forever."
And that's how Equestria's bureaucracy was created.
*(EPIC FORESHADOWING)
The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
Sundude and Moonbro go into a basement
Many adventures later, Sundude was awoken suddenly in the middle of the night by his brother, who looked super stressed about something.
"Whoa, bro, what is it?" Sundude asked, "I was just having the most radical dream..."
"Sorry, dude," Moonbro said. "But I had the most bone-chilling nightmare just now!"
"Nightmare? But you took the night shift. Why were you sleeping on the job, bro? That's totally uncool. What if another super-mega-timberwolf-hydra-hybrid-that-is-also-on-fire attacks? I don't want to have to clean up another seven tonnes of burnt clouds."
"No, I know, dude," Moonbro said, "That's what's so freaky. I was completely awake one moment, and the next thing I know I'm dreamin' that I'm runnin' down to the castle's basement and then through some sorta giant maze of hallways. It was really dark, and there was this big ugly guy laughing at me in the distance."
"That's sketchy, man," Sundude said. "What happened next?"
"I woke up and ran in here," Moonbro replied. "Stuff like that shouldn't happen to us. I mean, we really don't even need sleep. 'Cuz of the whole immortality thing."
"Yeah, but it's hard to chill when you're up all the time."
"Yeah. But anyway, it felt like another one of those Zebra herb trances. Only without all the stellar babes."
"Oh, bro, don't remind me about those," Sundude said, "They were much too trippy to be good for us."
"I know , dude! I'm still afraid of that broom closet," Moonbro replied, shivering at the memory, "But what do I do about that dream? It was too much for me, dude."
"Hmm. This is indeed a most perplexing... thing." Sundude thought for a moment. "I know! Let's go down to the basement, 'cuz that was in your dream, right?"
"Yeah," Moonbro replied.
So they went. The castle basement was dark and dank and dead silent. There looked to be an infinite expanse of nothing in front of them.
"Whoa," said Sundude, "Who makes a basement like this, anyway?"
"I know, right?" said Moonbro, "This is totally creepy."
The two battle-hardened bros walked into the pitch black darkness, and suddenly found themselves teleported into a small stone chamber with no exit.
"What the crap!?" cried Moonbro.
"Language, bro!" said Sundude.
"Oh, right, sorry dude," apologized Moonbro, "But this is totally wack."
"Indeed!" boomed a voice from somewhere above them. "Your situation is quite perilous."
"Who's there?" cried Sundude, "Come out and fight us!"
"Oh, no, I do not wish to partake in combat with the two of you. I only wish to disconnect my quintessence from this quasi-physical prison and possess one of your visages until I can harness the power necessary to reconstruct the physical body that once I reigned over this land in."
"I don't understand a word of what you just said," Moonbro said, "But you'd better let us out of this place or we will beat your ass most righteously into the ground."
"Whoa, bro, language !" said Sundude.
"Sorry, dude," Moonbro apologized, "But this guy is totally wack."
"Defeat me?" The voice laughed. "I think not. No, you two shall be implemented as tools for my escape, and then cast aside like nothing more than-"
"Bro!" said Sundude, ignoring the purple prose, "Hoof me!" And he stuck out his hoof to his brother.
"On it, dude!" replied Moonbro. He stuck out his hoof to meet his brother's, and their brohoof glowed with magical bro-power. The light expanded, and then burst forth in an awesome rainbow of sparkling color. It destroyed the walls around them, and the brothers found themselves once again in their basement, only now it was a small wooden room with only a lame old broom and some cobwebs.
"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!" exclaimed Moonbro, "That was AWESOME."
"Aw yeah, bro," said Sundude. "Even after the sixth time that never gets old."
"Not so fast," said the voice, which now came from the broom, "I shall still find myself the victor after this night!"
"Whoa. Bro," said Sundude. "Is that broom talking?"
"I am no mere broom!" said the mere broom, "My being is one of the greatest coalitions of power ever known to this mortal world. And it is with that power I shall enpurpose my will through you!" And with those words the broom exploded into a magical purple mist, and rushed toward Sundude.
"Look out, dude!" cried Moonbro, and he threw himself most heroically in front of the magical broom-thing. It hit him, and he fell to the ground in truly uncool pain.
"Bro!" cried Sundude. But it was too late.
"I am no longer your sibling!" said the now-possessed Moonbro. "I have reestablished my hold on a mortal form, and shall now reconquer this land of equines. I am—!"
"Mirror Broom!" cried Sundude. "You took over my bro's body! You will suffer terribly for this most uncool act!"
"Mirror what!? Where did you ever conceive of such a name as that?" scoffed the gentlecolt formerly known as Moonbro. "No, the name which strikes fear into all inhabitants of this land and all lands within its vicinity is none other than—!"
"Shut up, you evil-broom-guy!" said Sundude, who was more mad and angry than he had ever been in his life, "I'll stop you with the ultimate power: the love between true bros!" And with that he summoned the Elements of Bro-Harmony to him, and used them to send a wave of pure bro power at Mirror Broom, who looked like Moonbro.
"Your efforts are futile!" cried the Moonbro-who-wasn't-really-Moonbro as he was engulfed in an awesome rainbow of light, "You may halt my progress momentarily, but I shall come forth from my prison once more and overwhelm all who would dare oppose me and my wish to establish personal rule over all this world's people and landmasses, for I am unstoppable, unrelenting, unresisting! I am—!"
But he was cut off as the power of bro surrounded him and blasted him away with a flash of light. But Moonbro's body was gone too. Sundude did not know what to do.
"Bro? Bro, where are you? Nooo! Bro-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! " he cried to the sky. "How could this happen to us? The Elements of Bro-harmony did their thing, right? We won most victoriously... right?"
"Sundude!" cried the pony-guy from the first chapter, who had arrived a minute too late on account of his laundry, "Sundude, there's something I forgot to tell you about your castle!"
"Is it that there's a lame broom down there that can take bros away?" said Sundude in a sad and defeated manner. "Because I vanquished Mirror Broom most awesomely with the Elements of Bro-harmony, but Moonbro is gone, man."
"Yes that's exactly—! Oh." The pony-guy from the first chapter understood. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. That was weak of me."
"Totally weak, dude," said Sundude.
"But don't worry, Sundude," said the pony-guy from the first chapter, "He's probably not dead. Just sealed away in the moon. With the spirit of the possessed broom. And by the way, his name is—"
"Sealed away?" Sundude asked "In the moon? But it's so lame there! Trust me, I know."
"Well, he'll probably get out in a thousand years* or so," said the pony-guy from the first chapter, "But you still gotta figure out how to get rid of—"
"Don't worry, bro!" Sundude cried to the sky, "I'll get you outta there! I'll find a way to get rid of that lame Mirror Broom once and for all!"
"Actually his name is—" But at that moment the pony-guy from the first chapter had a fatal heart attack and the knowledge was lost forever.
*(EPIC FORESHADOW)—ohwait
The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
Sundude gets Moonbro outta the Moon
Nine hundred and ninety-nine years, seven hours, fifty five minutes, and forty-nine seconds later, a purple pony named Dawn Breaker was chilling in her library with her pet dragon Stab, reading her books.
"Hey Stab!" she called out as she finished reading a thesis on new developments in alchemy, "Could you grab Daring Dude and the Crimson Cobblestone for me? I've been wanting to check that out."
"Sure thing," Stab said, "It should be right over here." He began skimming through the bookshelves, but he was stopped by a sudden pain in his chest. "Urk-!" He belched out a letter, and Dawn Breaker levitated it over towards herself.
"Oh cool, it's from Sundude!" she said, and then began reading it:
Dearest Dawn Breaker,
As you know—for I have told many a generation about this totally unrighteous event—my eldest bro (Moonbro, not Festeggiare Tutta La Notte), was abducted almost a thousand years ago by the most lamest of all evil spirits: Mirror Broom. As the pony guy from the first chapter once predicted, this Mirror Broom dude is gunna be released from the moon on the night of his thousandth year there. Now, as I can no longer use the Elements of Bro-Harmony—which you also know all about 'cuz they are most pivotal to your country's history—it is up to you to get together with some of your bros and ready them to preform the Truly Epic Bro-Hoof necessary to reactivate the Elements. I would help you, but as it is also the Summer Sun Selebration*, I will be too busy partying it up in Ponyville with the local babes, and readying them for my bro's return.
A most radical time to you,
Sundude
"Get together some bros? But I don't have any friends!" Dawn Breaker cried. "All I do is study. Doesn't Sundude know that?"
"B-but aren't I one of your bros?" asked Stab with sad, watery eyes. Dawn Breaker did not hear him, and instead of replying to her servant/adopted son went to go find a chariot and a couple of pegasi to pull it. Stab scampered after the purple pony, confused.
"Whoa, hold up Dawny! Where are we going?"
"To Ponyville! I'm going to find Sundude and tell him I don't have any 'bros' to activate the Elements with. And don't call me Dawny!"
"But can't you just make some friends? I mean there are plenty of ponies in Canterlot, right?"
"Don't be stupid, Stab. One does not simply 'make friends.' It takes years of interaction and trust building and stuff!"
"But—!"
"Trust me, Stab, I know all about this kind of thing. I've read about it. In books."
* * * * *
One change of scenery later, Dawn Breaker and Stab stepped off the their chariot into Ponyville and thanked the pegasi that had pulled it there. Dawn Breaker didn't want to waste time, so she asked the first mare she saw about where she could find Sundude.
"Whoa... duuude..." replied the mint green unicorn, "...your face is so purple ."
"Uh..." Dawn Breaker took a step back as the green pony, who was clearly stoned out of her mind, squinted at her. "Maybe I'll ask somepony el—"
"No... don't go. I can help you, dude. What did you need, again?"
"I... I need to find Prince Sundude. Do you know where he is?"
"Whoa..." The green mare started at her with a dopey expression for a seconds, and then shook her head, blinking. "Oh, sorry, I spaced out there. Did you know there's a dragon on your back? That's awesome man..."
"Uh..."
"Oh right, sorry dude. Who're you looking for again?"
"Sun. Dude. I am looking for Prince Sundude."
"Oh him! Yeah. He's at the party over there." The unicorn waved a hoof at a nearby tree that had been made into a house. "I'll show you."
"Uh, I don't think that will be necessary," said Dawn Breaker, "I wouldn't want to waste your time—"
"Oh no problem, dude. It's chill, I'm free," the unicorn said, turning to walk in the direction she had indicated. Dawn Breaker reluctantly trotted after her. "I'm Hyra, by the way."
"Of course you are..." Dawn Breaker muttered.
"Huh?"
"Oh, nothing! It's nice to meet you, Hyra. I'm Dawn Breaker."
"And I'm Stab!" boasted the baby dragon who was seated comfortably on Dawn Breaker's back.
"Whoa." Hyra stopped to look up at Stab for a few moments. "It talks ." She then smiled at Dawn Breaker. "That's awesome, man."
"Yeah, um, can we get to that party now? Please? I really need to talk to Sundude."
"Sure! Just follow me," Hyra said.
* * * * *
When they arrived at the party, Dawn Breaker was taken aback by how totally rad it was. There were dozens of ponies of all colors dancing to the sick beats of techno, killer drops of dubsteb, thrilling chords of rock music, and the occasional classical piece; because ponies like to keep things fresh. There was also a disco ball, and at least twenty different lights and strobes. There was so much color it was hard to make out anything.
"Whoa... this is so awesome," said Hyra, "I think I'm gunna have a seizure." Dawn Breaker frowned in confusion at the comment.
"Uh... right," she said "I'll just go look for Sundude. You have fun."
"Oh trust me dude, I will. Oh, and good luck with your quest!" Hyra waved at her before jumping into the sea of dancers.
But Dawn Breaker was already trotting in the opposite direction, looking for the Sundude. She spotted the shimmering outline of an alicorn, but it was much too small to be the dude-prince. She frowned, and squeezed through the crowd toward him.
"Festeggiare? What are you doing here?" she shouted as she recognized him.
"Oh hey Dawn Breaker," replied Prince Festeggiare Tutta La Notte, who was an alicorn and a prince like Sundude and Moonbro but not as tall or powerful as them or a ruler of Equestira for reasons which were probably good and well thought out but which Dawn Breaker had never bothered to look up. "I'm here enjoying this sick party! What're you doin'?"
"I'm looking for Sundude. Do you know where he is?"
"I think he took some chicks up to Sweet Apple Acres for a drink."
"A drink? Really?" She frowned. Sundude hated the taste of alcohol.
"Yep. Cider. Apparently that place is loaded with it. You should check it out."
"I will. Thanks for your help Feste—" An electric squeal and the boom of a bass drop drowned out the rest of Dawn Breaker's words.
"WHOO! Go DJ! I love this song!" Festeggiare Tutta La Notte shouted. The DJ waved a hoof at the prince in response.
"That's why I picked it, bro!" he cried.
Dawn Breaker rolled her eyes and trotted away, exiting from the barrage of colors and sound to the quiet evening of the Ponyville streets. She took a few steps forward before being stopped by a worried looking stallion.
"Um, excuse me," he said, "Have you seen a mint green unicorn around here?"
"You mean Hyra?"
"Yeah. Where is she?"
Dawn Breaker pointed back to the party house. "In there somewhere. She wandered off after we went in."
"Ah, thank you. I'm Bro-bro, by the way."
"Dawn Breaker." They shook hooves.
"Oh, by the way," said Bro-bro, "She wasn't, uh, acting weird or anything, was she?"
"She was higher than Cloudsdale, Bro."
"Darn it. And she promised me she'd stop this year..." Bro-Bro frowned. "Anyway, thanks for the info, I gotta go," he said before galloping away toward the party.
"What a weird town," said Stab.
"You said it," said Dawn Breaker.
* * * * *
When Dawn Breaker and Stab got to Sweet Apple Acres, they found Sundude sitting at a table with five other ponies, drinking frothy and delicious cider from brown mugs. Dawn Breaker was majorly pissed that the prince was acting so casual when things were so serious.
"Sundude!" she cried, "What are you doing?"
"What am I doing? What are you doing?" Sundude sassed back, "You're supposed to be saving the world with a bunch of your bros and all that cool stuff."
"But I don't have any bros!" Dawn Breaker cried, "And we're running out of time to get another six ponies together. Look, it's almost sundown!"
"Huh, so it is," Sundude said as he took off the awesome pair of shades he had been wearing. "Well don't worry, these five dudes here can be your bros. Then you can use the Elements of Bro-Harmony."
"But I can't just become bros with random strangers in one day! Friendship doesn't work like that in any of the books I've read!"
"Sure you can, DeeBee—"
"Please don't call me that."
"—here, I'll introduce you." Sundude put a hoof around Dawn Breaker's shoulder and showed her around the table, introducing her to the five other ponies who were seated there.
"This is Pinkie Pie. As you can tell from her most girly-ish and undude name, she's not from around here."
"Hiya! I just love this whole 'bro/dude' motif you've got going on. It's super silly, and I love that kind of thing! Especially at parties, because that's when—"
"She also talks, like, all the time. Moving on. Dawn Breaker, meet Rainbro Dude. Rainbro Dude, meet Dawn Breaker."
"Hey," Rainbro Dude said, "Tight name. I like it."
"And this is Rawity. Emphasis on the raw."
"Wazup, DeeBee? You ever been to Califoalia? They got some gnarly waves there, man. It's totally sick."
"He also likes to surf. Now, this girl over here is called Gutterfly. As you can tell by the lame name, her parents hated her, and she has a most tragic history of growing up alone on the streets. Or in the ghetto. I forget which."
"Yo prune-face, stay away from the west side of Everfree, you got that? That's me and my animals' turf."
"She's serious about that one, Dawny—"
"Don't call me Dawny."
"—I'm pretty sure she f-ed up a bear once. It was most horrifyingly gruesome." Sundude shuddered at the memory. "Anyway, here's your last new bro: Applejack. He farms apples."
"Hi," said Applejack. "You want some apple cider? Or I have just an apple if yer not thirsty."
"Uh, no thanks," replied Dawn Breaker. There was an awkward silence as she looked over all her new bros. "So... I guess we're friends now?"
"Yeperoonie!"
"Sure, that's cool."
"Heck yes we are!"
"If you scratch my back I'll scratch yours, if you catch my drift."
"Eyup. You want an apple to commemorate? I got plenty of apples."
It was at that moment that the sun set and Moonbro was released from his imprisonment. He fell to the ground in front of Sundude most ungracefully, and groaned in pain.
"Quick!" said Sundude as he tossed the Elements of Bro-Harmony to the six newly acquainted bros. "Use the Elements and get Mirror Broom out of my bro!"
"Alright everyone," Dawn Breaker cried as she put on the Element of Supernatural Powers and stuck out a hoof, "HOOF ME! Quick, before Mirror Broom can do anything lame."
"You got it!" said Pinkie Pie, who wore the Element of Laughter. She placed her hoof against Dawn Breaker's.
"On it," said Ranbro Dude. Rainbro Dude was wearing the Element of Sticking Together.
"Aaaaaaw yeah!" cried Rawity as he put his hoof against the other three's. He was wearing the Element of Free Stuff.
"This moon man is bad news for my animals. He's going down," said Gutterfly, who had on the Element of Being Excellent to Each Other.
"I wonder if Moonbro likes apples," said Applejack. He wore the Element of Apples.
Their six hooves met, and a rainbow of radical bro-energy exploded from them and into the possessed body of Moonbro. A broom appeared in the air above his body, but before it could say anything lame it exploded into a million tiny pieces, all of which exploded a second time to make things more awesome.
"We did it!" cried Dawn Breaker, "We freed Moonbro!"
"Whoo-hoo! That was over way faster than the first time. Ooh! You know what this calls for? A party! I'll go set up some balloons, and you guys and girls can go..."
"That was pretty legit."
"Dude. That. Was. AWESOME. We gotta do this again sometime."
"Don't mess with the west side, or I'll show you your tomb, broom."
"That was for my apples!"
"Bro!" cried Sundude as his brother woke up. "You're okay! I missed you so much."
"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!" cried Moonbro when he saw his brother. "I missed you too. You have no idea how boring it was up there."
"Let's never go into a basement again, bro," said Sundude.
"Yeah, never again. This was a most trying ordeal. I shall never be able to erase that amount of lameness from my reputation ever again." Moonbro sighed.
"Don't worry, bro," said Sundude, "As long as we have each other, nothing can stop us. Not even a thousand lame broom-based enemies**."
"You're right dude." Moonbro stuck out a hoof. "Bros forever?"
"Bros forever." Sundude brohoofed him, and the two princes returned to Ponyville to selebrate*.
*The 'S' stands for 'Alliteration'
The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
Sundude and Moonbro host a wedding
One day many months later, Sundude and Moonbro were soaking up some sun by their castle's pool when Prince Festeggiare Tutta La Notte came flying down from the sky to talk to them.
"Sundude. Moonbro. I need to ask you two something," he said.
"Shoot," said Moonbro.
"Can I, um, host my wedding here? At the castle?"
"What? You're getting married bro?" asked Sundude, who had been reading a stack of letters from Dawn Breaker.
"Uh, yeah. I told you about this last week, when I was here with my fiance, remember?" the smaller alicorn replied with shifty eyes.
"Oh yeah. You're hooked up with that Shining Armor chick, right?"
"Uh, yes, she's my fiance. Bro. Anyway, can we have our wedding here? She really likes the, uh, pool you, uh... dudes have here. We were thinking about making it a pool party. If you are, uh, down for it."
"That is a most radical idea, my probably-brother," Moonbro said, completely ignoring the smaller alicorn's odd speech patterns. "You are most welcome to use our pool. It's basically a lake anyway."
Sundude laughed. "I know, right, bro? Remember when we first said we wanted it put in during the Awesomestruction?"
"When Stellarspin the Bearded was all 'there's no way we can build a pool that big on the side of a mountain.'?" Moonbro asked.
"Yeah," said Sundude
"Oh, yeah," Moonbro laughed, "We totally showed him, didn't we dude?"
"Yeah. Too bad he died before we finished it, though. That was a bummer."
"Yeah..."
The two became silent in remembrance and took a moment to contemplate the moral and emotional weight of their immortality. Festeggiare coughed to snap them out of it.
"So can you host Shining Armor and I here or not?"
"Sure," said Moonbro. "Just give us a date. We can spot you on the wedding."
"Aw nah, bro, I don't want to plan a whole wedding," Sundude whined.
"But dude, this is our maybe-brother we're talking about. He's the only other alicorn we know of, so he's probably related to us somehow," Moonbro replied.
"Hmm." Sundude thought for a moment. "I know! I'll ask Dawn Breaker and her bros to come get the party set up. Shining Armor's her sister, right? So she'll be cool with doing this for her. Plus she's got all of her bros to help her, and I know Ponyville-bros know how to have a good time."
"Yes," agreed Festeggiare, "I had a most, um, radical time when I last visited Ponyville."
"I believe it," said Moonbro.
* * * * *
Time passed and the day before what was shaping up to be a most bodacious bash arrived. Unfortunately, during that day, Canterlot was attacked by a pack of rabid Wendigos, and Moonbro had to spend the whole night fighting them off. When he was done, he flew back to the castle and collapsed into his bed. This made Sundude wake up.
"Whoa. Bro. Why are you in my bed?" he asked, "And why are you covered in blood?"
"Sorry dude, I thought this was my bed. I just killed a bunch of Wendigos. They were trying to wreck Canterlot. I'm too beat to talk about it."
"Darn. That's sucks, bro. You'll miss the wedding party!" Sundude cried. But Moonbro was already deep asleep. He snored very loudly.
"Well whatever," said Sundude. "I'll go see how Dawn Breaker's doing with the set up."
Sundude got out of his bed, put on his awesome shades, and jumped out of his bedroom window, because that was the room's only exit. He flew down to the pool where the wedding was taking place, and found Dawn Breaker arguing with Festeggiare and Shining Armor about something.
"Yo Dawn Breaker, what's wrong?" he called.
"Something's wrong with Prince Festeggiare Tutta La Note!" she cried. "How am I the only one who sees this?"
Sundude looked at the pink prince, who was avoiding all eye contact. "I dunno," he said, "he looks fine to me."
"Agh!" Dawn Breaker screamed in frustration, "What are you talking about? His music choices are nothing like what he normally listens to, he didn't have anything to say about the party set up even though it only had one disco ball, and he hated the surfboards Rawity designed for the surfing contest even though they're all based on his favorite bands! He's acting nothing like the Festeggiare I know." Dawn Breaker turned to her sister, who was scowling at her. "How can't you see this, Shining? Festeggiare has turned evil . It's the only explanation."
"Ohmygod, Dawn. Like, how could you even say that?" Shining shouted with tears in her eyes, "He's going to be my husband , Dawn. I would know if, like, he was acting weird." She held back a sob. "This was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives, but you're completely ruining everything right now."
Dawn Breaker smacked a hoof against her head. "You're just saying that because Festeggiare is brainwashing you with his magic! I saw him use that weird green spell on you last night, when your eyes went all freaky. You can't explain that any other way!"
"Actually, Dawny," Sundude said, "Fe—
"Don't call me Dawny!"
"Festeggiare can't do that sort of freaky magic. I should know because we've been bros for, like, ever."
"But you're only his maybe -brother, you can't be sure, Sundude! If-"
"Dawn stop!" Shining screamed. "Just stop! You're being such a butch right now!"
Everyone gasped, hoping that hadn't been a typo.
"And you know what I think, Dawn?" Shining continued, "I think you're jealous . Jealous of us and what we have."
"Shining, don't be ridiculous, you know I'm—"
"Dawn just shut up!" the white mare screeched. "Festeggiare has supported and cared for me all throughout or relationship. Do you, like, have any idea how hard it is to run the Canterlot guard and have a boyfriend? No, you don't. You don't even have a real job. You just sit in your little library and play with your friends all day while Festeggiare and I have struggled to find time for each other. It's been, like, impossible sometimes, but we've stuck together and now you're trying to tear us apart! I can't believe this, Dawn. We're supposed to be sisters ! But now I don't even want you to be my best mare anymore."
"But Shining, I—" Dawn Breaker looked crestfallen.
"I am so done with you right now. Ugh!" Shining stomped her hooves and ran past Dawn Breaker, sobbing. Festeggiare took off after her, throwing Dawn Breaker an ugly look as he flew by.
"Whoa," said Sundude to Dawn Breaker, "What were you thinking , bro?"
"I just... I—" she sighed, before walking slowly toward the water. She then started to sing to herself, and so Sundude flew away, because musicals were not his thing. He saw Festeggiare trotting back over to Dawn Breaker, and so he landed next to him. "I'm sorry about that, bro. You okay?"
"Yes, uh, dude. Shining Armor and I are fine. I was just going to, uh, chill with Dawn Breaker and see if we can make ame—uh, I mean, if we can work this out. Bro." Festeggiare replied.
"Ah, that's great, man! So does that mean the party's still on? It looks to be a most bodacious bash."
"Er, yes, bro. The party is still on."
"Sweet, I'll see you there. Good luck with Dee-Bee." Sundude said before flying off the chill in his castle.
"Thank you for your... words of encouragement. Bro." Festeggiare said, smirking after Sundude could no longer see him.
* * * * *
Later on, Sundude came back form the castle to say the vows for the wedding, but was disappointed to see that Dawn Breaker was not in the audience or one of the best mares.
"Where's Dawn Breaker?" he asked Festeggiare.
"She and I had a... falling out," he replied.
"Well that sucks." Sundude frowned. "Hey, where's that Pinkie Pie chick? I thought we invited her."
"Oh, she... couldn't make it," Festeggiare said, "Uh, can we hurry this up? Bro. Shining and I really want to get married now."
"Yes," said Shining, whose eyes were unusually green and devoid of life, "We do."
"Sure thing, bro," said Sundude, who promptly got on with the vows. "Do you two dig each other?"
"I do," said Shining Armor.
"I do," said Festeggiare.
"And does anyone object to these most loving bonds of matrimony which I am about to make?" Sundude asked.
"I do!" cried Dawn Breaker, who crashed through the pool fence's door.
"Me too!" cried Pinkie Pie, who broke through the wall of the pool's towel room.
"Aw man, you wrecked our pool!" cried Sundude, "Moonbro is going to flip when he sees this."
"I object most forcefully!" cried the real Prince Festeggiare Tutta La Notte, who burst from some nearby bushes. "That dude is not me, dude!" he said, pointing at the false Prince Festeggiare Tutta La Notte. Everyone gasped.
"Whoa... dude... " said Hyra, who was one of Festeggiare's bridesmaids, "Is anypony else seeing double here, or did I eat the wrong sandwich this morning?"
"That fake dude knocked me out and imprisoned me in the Sketch Caves underneath Canterlot." explained the real Festeggiare, "They were totally sketchy."
"He sent me there too," said Dawn Breaker, "but then me and the real Festeggiare escaped with the power of an epic rock ballad!"
"That sounds intense," said Sundude.
"It was most intense," confirmed Festeggiare.
"And that fakey-waykie Festi-whatever tied me up and locked me in that towel room!" said Pinkie Pie. "But then I chewed my way out of the ropes, even though they tasted icky, because I knew that if I didn't chew my way out of them that this big meanie pants would win, and that would make the real Festi-jar-ay so sad that no party would ever cheer him up and that would be terrible! But now I'm here so it's time to stop the bad guy!" she pointed a hoof at the fake Festeggiare. "Or should I say bad girl !"
Everyone gasped, but then sounded very confused.
"Uh, Pinkie, bro, I know you're not from around here, and you're kind of weird," said Sundude, "But, even if he's some sort of sketchy clone or whatever, he's definitely a guy. I mean, we're all naked. It's not hard to tell that sort of thing."
"Actually," said the fake Festeggiare, "The pink brat is right. I am not a guy. I am not even a pony. I am a changeling. The Queen of all changelings! I am Chrysalis!" As he spoke his body grew taller and turned black, while his wings grew more insect-like, and his eyes turned green. His voice also became more obviously female. "And even though a few of my plans have been foiled, I will take over Canterlot, and my Changelings will feed on you little ponies!"
Sundude laughed at her. "Oh yeah right. I've been fighting all sorts of crazy freaky things for the last thousand years now. I could beat you in my sleep."
"Hmph. Not with the power of Shining Armor's love!" Chrysalis declared.
"Wait... what?" asked Hyra.
"It is what we changelings do," Chrysalis explained, "We feed off of other ponies' love for one another. And Shining Armor's love for Ca—I mean Festeggiare, is the strongest I have felt in a long time. She is under my spell, and I am more powerful than even Prince Sundude." She tossed up her head and cackled. "Nothing can stop me now! Even as we speak, my changelings are wresting control of this city away from your pathetic guard, and soon we will cover this entire land! Ahahaha!" Sundude leaped at her, aiming his horn at her chest, but she decked him with a blast of energy.
"Ooh..." he moaned, "That freakin' hurt."
Chrysalis grinned evilly. "I told you. Nothing can stop us. We've secured the Elements of Harmony, and I won't let Shining Armor's spell be broken this time. Ahahahaha!" she laughed, "Ahahaha—urk!"
Gutterfry bucked her in the stomach, and then proceeded to beat the crap out of her. Sundude and the rest of the audience cringed as the yellow pegasus smacked her around. Gutterfry finished by kicking her out of Canterlot, and then she and the rest of her changelings ran away.
"That's what you get for messing with my friends, fool!" she shouted after them.
"Whoa," said Sundude, "That was brutal."
"...I don't think I like this place any more," whispered a traumatized Pinkie Pie.
"So..." said Festeggiare. "Is Shining Armor all right?"
"Ohmygosh, Festi!" Shining Armor cried before jumping into his arms. The spell on her had been broken around the fifth or sixth punch. "I am so happy you're safe, and, like, so sorry I didn't listen to Dawn."
"Ah, it's fine, Shining," Festeggiare said, "She was usin' that freaky magic. I don't think even I couldda done anything against that."
"And Dawn," Shining said, turning to her sister, "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I... I didn't really mean anything I said."
"I know, sis," said Dawn Breaker, "I forgive you."
"Thanks, Dawn," Shining said. They hugged.
"Huh. Cool. That worked itself out," said Sundude. He turned to Festeggiare and Shining. "You two still want to get married?"
"You know it, dude!" said Festeggiare.
"Well, like, duh ! Shouldn't that be obvious!" chided Shining Armor.
"Sweet," said Sundude. And then he married them. And then they had a most bodacious bash. And Moonbro woke up in time to party with them. And then after that Shining Armor and Prince Festeggiare Tutta La Notte lived happily ever after. Probably.
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The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
(Non-Canon) Sundude and Moonbro screw up and destroy Equestria
"Dude!" Moonbro shouted one day to Sundude who had been chilling in the castle.
"What's up, bro?" asked Sundude.
"Are you any good at diplomacy?"
"Nah, bro, I tried that once and it didn't work. That's why I had to kill all those buffalo, remember?"
"Uh..." Moonbro took a step away from his bro, "I don't remember doing that, dude."
"That's 'cuz you were in the moon, bro."
"Oh, right," said Moonbro.
"Anyway, what'd you need diplomacy for?" asked Sundude, "Did those freaky Chimera dudes come back? They were most terrifying."
"Nah, dude, this crap is much worse. The Zebras are attacking."
"What?"
"Yeah, I said the wrong word at a United Nations meeting and they declared war."
"That's wack, bro," commented Sundude.
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure they got an army marching toward us right now. We should probably do something about that."
"Yes," agreed Sundude, "Wait here while I go raise an army of our fiercest and most bodacious warriors."
"Okay, dude. I'll hold down the fort," Moonbro replied with a salute.
* * * * *
One army training montage later, Sundude stood before his troops and prepared to rally them with an epic and inspirational speech. But at that moment, an evil zebra assassin jumped out from a nearby bush and shot at the prince with bullets.
"Look out Sundude!" cried Big Bro, who was Applejack's big brother. He leaped most valiantly in front of the Prince and shielded Sundude from the bullets with his body.
"No!" cried Sundude, "You shot Big Bro!" The zebra assassin laughed evilly, but Sundude incinerated him with a blast of his sun magic. "No one shoots my subjects and gets away with it."
"Sundude..." Big Bro coughed, "Don't worry about me. I'm happy my prince is safe. That's all that matters."
"But Big Bro," Sundude said to the dieing stallion, "I'm, like, an immortal god with the power to control the sun. I'm pretty sure I could've taken that hit. You didn't have to do that, man."
"Oh... darn..." And then Big Bro died, and the ponies of Equestria went to war with the zebras. There was much blood and most uncool suffering, but neither side was able to win.
* * * * *
"I am so tired of this war, bro." Sundude said one day as he and Moonbro were strategizing in their castle in Canterlot.
"Me too, dude," said Moonbro, "I wish there was a way we could just press a button and end it, y'know?"
"Yeah, that would be most convenient..." Sundude said wishfully.
Then the zebras started launching megaspells at Equestria, and one exploded into Canterlot, spreading a cloud of pink vapor throughout the city.
"What the heck is this?" asked Moonbro, "And why is it killing all our citizens? That's very uncool."
"Oh no!" cried Sundude as the pink clouds engulfed them, "Pink gas is our one true weakness! Let's get out of here, bro!" He turned to his bro so that they could fly away together, but Moonbro was already dead.
Sundude leaped away from the city just in time to save himself, but without his bro he was greatly saddened. As he flew over the land, he saw how much destruction had been wrought by the megaspells, and declared that he would do something to fix it.
"I must do something to fix this!" he declared, but at that moment the zebras shot a missile at him, and he was too injured to dodge it.
"Ffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu—" was the last thing he said before he exploded in a most brilliant flash of glorious yellow light.
AND THEN FALLOUT: BROQUESTRIA HAPPENED
The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
Sundude and Moonbro clean their garage
One day Prince Festeggiare Tutta La Notte stumbled into Sundude's bedroom at 3 in the freaking morning. He was hammered drunk.
"Yo, Sun-dude-bro-dude... bro-whatevah... wazzaaaaaap!?" he said drunkenly.
But Sundude said nothing in reply, because he was not in the room.
"Whoa," said the really drunk pink prince, "Where the bro is Sundude?"
Not in the room, said the narration.
"Oh," said Festeggiare Tutta La Notte after he'd seen that Sundude wasn't there, "I guess Sundude isn't here."
So instead he went drunkenly to Moonbro's room, but first he went to the bathroom and threw up. It was really gross.
"Yo, Moonbro!" he shouted at Moonbro's bed, "Where the bro is Sundude?"
But Moonbro said nothing in reply, because he was not in his room either.
"Whoa, where the dude is Moonbro?" He stare blankly at the space where the alicorn bro should have been sleeping for a good fifteen minutes before he forgot what he'd gone there for and stumbled away to look for a place to sleep.
Somehow he wound up in the garage, where Sundude and Moonbro were busy cleaning.
"Whoa," said Festeggiare, "whadderyoutwodoinghere?" he slurred.
"Lame-bro cleaning," said Sundude. "I had to make Dawn Breaker a princess and give her most awe-striking alicorn powers because I lost a bet with Discord. So she lives with us now and she's making us clean up the garage. It's lame as bro."
"Whao, Discord? But I thought he was totally stoned," said Festeggiare, who was totally stoned.
"Naw, man, I let him go last week. I was all 'Yo Discord, you like being stoned?' and he was all, 'Naw, not like this dude,' I was all, 'Okay, I'll let you go then, but you gotta be cool,' and he was all 'Yeah I'll be cool,' and then we were cool," said Sundude.
"True story bro," added Moonbro, "I was there."
"Oh... that's bro," said Festeggiare Tutta La Notte. "What was the bet, then?"
"Oh, yeah, so one day one of those dudes who guards me was all, 'Yo, Sundue, a magical empire just appeared out of nowhere near the south pole,' and I was all 'Whoa, what? That's trippy, little dudes,' and they were all, 'Yeah, we think it's the Swag Empire and they're asking for help,' and I was like, 'Oh those dudes? Those dudes are pretty crazy, what do they need?' But before that guard dude could answer they sent over a couple of envoys who were all, 'Yo, Prince Sundude, our names are Hashtag and Yolo, and the Swag Empire has lost all of its swag and we don't know where it is so could you help us find it?' and I was all 'Sure, no problem bro,' and then Discord bet me that Dawn Breaker could find their swag and I was all 'Naw' because I was pretty sure those envoys were high as bro and that the Swag Empire still had all its swag."
"But it turns out they didn't have all their swag and so Dawn Breaker found it all and everything was bro, except now she's a bro-ing princess and we gotta clean the garage. It is most unbro."
"True story bro," added Moonbro, "I was there."
"Whoa," said Festeggiare, who had spaced the bro out while Sundude had been talking, "What is that?" He pointed to a box that was glowing yellow.
"I dunno, bro," said Sundude, "But that glow ain't bro."
The three alicorn dudes who were no longer probably all related somehow because you can make alicorns with magic apparently all stepped toward the oddly-glowing box and opened it.
"Whoa," said Festeggiare.
"Bro," said Sundude.
"Dude," said Moonbro.
Inside was a bunch of swag, with golden, diamond-encrusted necklaces and Rolex watches and sparkly shutter shades and all that kinda stuff. Basically, it was a big box of bling.
"Swag Empire's Swag," read the side of the box, "Plz giv bak 2 Swag Empire if U find dis. #thanks"
"Wait a minute..." said Moonbro, "If this box has got some of the Swag Empire's swag then that means that Dawn Breaker didn't get all their swag when she went into their attic and found their swag!"
"And that means I didn't lose the bet!" cried Sundude gleefully. "Which means Dawny doesn't have to live with us anymore!"
"Aw bro the dude yes! No more cleaning!"
The two alicorn bros high-fived and ran off to tell Discord about all the other swag they'd found. Meanwhile, Prince Festeggiare stared at all the shiny gold in the box of bling for about an hour before he finally passed out.
He was really hungover the next day.
Author's Note
I am so sorry.
So very, very sorry.
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The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
Sundude and Moonbro fight giant mutant cockatirces
One day Sundude woke up and found that Canterlot was under attack by a bunch of giant mutant cockatrices. It was not a good thing to wake up to.
"Oh crap, bro," Sundude said to Moonbro after he ran into his bro's room to tell him about what was going down, "there are some most uncool giant mutant cockatrices attacking the city right now. We gotta do something!"
"I would totally help you out with this situation, dude," said Moonbro, "because, y'know, we're the rulers and protectors of all of ponydom, and it would be totally awesome to fight a bunch of mutant cockatrices with you, but I can't right now because I lost a magazine I was reading and I really really wanna finish the article I was reading."
"But, bro, I'm not sure I can handle all of them, and—"
"Can't Festeggiare help you, dude?"
"Nah, bro, remember? Those pony dudes down in the Swag Empire made him their Emperor after he found all their swag."
"Oh yeah..."
"Now can you please give me a hoof, bro?"
"I really really gotta find this mag first. Trust me. I would be pretty freaked out if someone else found it."
"Okay bro, but if I get stoned then you gotta come save me."
"Will do, dude."
So then Sundude went out to fight the Giant Mutant Cockatrices.
* * * * *
A wind blew through the castle grounds. It was a fierce and unnatural wind, one that brought on its breath a swarm a death—the Giant Mutant Cockatrices. Their horde held hundreds, and all flew toward Canterlot, intent on destroying it. Sundude stood alone on the balcony of the castle's tallest tower, wings spread in defiance of the incoming beasts. An aurulent aura surrounded his horn, and as the creatures neared it blossomed, expanding to encompass his body in a mighty golden glow. His multicolored hair floated slowly in the air beside him, crackling with small flashes of lightning as his gathered power peaked. Above him the sun began to shine brightly, blinding the giant monsters. They would not be able to freeze him now, not unless they got very close. And by then it would be too late for them.
The first cockatrice landed, crumpling the roof of a pony's home in its talons. In a flash Sundude was beneath it, and before it had the chance to react he unleashed a blast of energy at it, vaporizing it instantly. There was not even ash left to blow away in the wind. Sundude did not have any time to rest, however. The horde was on top of him now, seeking vengeance for their fallen companion. With a powerful kick Sundude vaulted into their midst. Closing his eyes tight, he consolidated his power inside him and unleashed it in a powerful burst. For a moment, the sky was overwhelmed by white light, but when it faded a third of the cockatrices had disappeared, their fate the same as the first.
Sundude was safely on the ground now, preparing himself for the next wave of monsters. That attack had devastated the cockatrices numbers, but it had cost him most of the power he had been storing. These beasts were stronger than he had predicted—that blast was meant to put an early end to the battle.
Another cockatrice swooped down upon Sundude, screeching as it bared its claws. Sundude jumped into the attack, using a burst of magic to blind the beast a moment before he pushed himself out of range with his wings. The beast was below him now, and it had lost track of him for a crucial second. Sundude landed behind it, and shot a beam of fire through the creature's head. It slumped to the ground with a final cry of pain, and Sundude turned to the now-regrouped horde. He fired several more beams, felling several more beasts, but it was not enough. They surrounded him, slashing at him with their talons, pecking at him with their beaks, and trying to freeze him with their eyes.
He was on the defensive now. A shield flashed around him, stalling their attacks, but it quaked and cracked underneath the cockatrices' weight. At the last moment, he release another burst of light and teleported away from his blinded enemies, hoping to put some distance between himself the the horde.
More were on him in an instant. They had held back, foreseeing some sort of retreat, and had swooped in when they saw him reappear. Sundude caught three more in another blast of energy, but his power was wearing thin. They were massing in front of him now, forming a wall across the street they were on that stretched up into the sky. He began backing up, restoring his lost energy from the rays of the sun, but a shadow passed over him. He snapped around, gasping in shock at the Cockatrice that had snuck up on his flank.
This one was a behemoth. Bigger than all the rest he had fought before. The ground cracked underneath its weight, and when it opened its maw to shriek at him Sundude saw that it was large enough to devour him whole. The beast struck with its head, intent on eating him, but Sundude charged underneath its swing, stabbing upward with his head. His horn scathed its scales, but did no real damage, and the beast batted him with a heavy wing. He was pushed to the ground, stunned, and the horde closed in on him from behind. He gathered his magic, intent on warping away, but at that moment the behemoth caught his eyes with its own. Sundude grimaced as he resisted the glare of the beast. He knew that his magic was greater than the creature's stare, but he would not be able to overpower it before the others attacked. He was doomed, he knew.
But just then, there was a flash of movement from above him, and a purple and green blur smashed into the cockatrice's face, breaking its stare and allowing Sundude to teleport just outside of the mob of monsters. Without a pause he spread his wings and unleashed a wave of heat at the creatures before him. They backed away, screeching in pain and rage, but the figure who had saved him did not. It was Stab, Dawn Breaker's dragon, and he hissed dramatically as he backed up to Sundude's side. The two were shielded by the vortex of heat, but Sundude could not sustain it—it was beginning to melt the stone beneath their hooves/feet.
"Thank you, Stab," Sundude said, "But why are you here in Canterlot? Where's Dawny?"
"They went off to fight that changeling chick again. I came here to see why you weren't answering the letters we sent you."
"Oh, well, I've been doing this," replied Sundude, "Thanks for saving me, bro."
"No problem, Sundude." Stab bared his claws and hissed again as their heat shield faded. "Now let's finish this."
Before they could say another word the horde was on them again. Sundude finished off the behemoth with a concentrated blast of magic, while stab darted through their ranks, distracting them with swipes to their feet. With their attention split between the overwhelming power of the Prince and the painful slashes from Stab, the cockatrices' already reduced numbers quickly dwindled. After a tense few minutes the last few scurried back into the sky in fear, and Sundude and Stab stood, proud but exhausted, over the corpses of their felled foes.
* * * * *
It was shortly after the battle's end that Moonbro finally came to check up on Sundude.
"Hey, dude!" he cried happily as he appeared next to his bro, "I did it! I found that magazine I lost!"
"That's awesome, bro," said Sundude, "I killed a bunch of giant mutant cockatrices."
"That's pretty cool too, dude," replied Moonbro.
The two brothers brohooved to celebrate their respective victories, and all was chill.
Author's Note
For those wondering, this is basically what happens in one of the MLP comics. You all really should read them.
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The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
(Super Non-Canon) Sundude and Moonbro go through a mirror
"Yo Moonbro," said Sundude one day.
"What's up?" replied Moonbro.
"Festeggiare Tutta La Notte just sent me a letter, apparently he found a wicked cool mirror in his basement. You can walk through it into other worlds 'n' stuff."
"Aw, sick!" exclaimed Moonbro.
"Yeah, I know, wanna go check it out?" asked Sundude.
"I would, dude, but you know how we feel about basements," Moonbro reminded his brother.
"I know bro, but it'll be cool. Feste had it moved up into his living room," Sundude replied.
"Okay, that's cool then. Let's go!" cried Moonbro.
And so they went.
* * * * *
"So, Festeggiare," Sundude asked some time later, "we just gotta step into it and it'll take us into an alternate plane of existence?"
"Yup," said Festeggiare Tutta La Notte, who was decked out in so much bling only Sundude could look at him without squinting.
"Radical," said Moonbro, "Let's try it out, dude!"
"Whoa, hold on bros," said Festeggiare, "There's one thing you gotta know before you use it: whatever you do, don't go through more than once a day. Otherwise it starts to freak out."
"You got it, broskie," replied Sundude, "Now let's go, bro!"
And so they leaped through the mirror.
* * * * *
"This is so laaaame ," moaned Moonbro sometime later, "I hated high school when we weren't being stared at for lookin' weird."
"Yeah, I know, bro," replied Sundude, "I thought we'd be thrown into a most awesome and twisted version of our own land, but this is just so completely... not awesome." They were sitting in the middle of the school's quad, watching all the freaky inhabitants of this alternate universe walk to and from their classes. Most of the oddly-proportioned hand-people were gawking at them because, well, they were still horses. It was a pretty weird thing to see at school.
"Holy crap, did that horse just talk?" one of the hand-people shouted.
"Are we not supposed to do that?" Moonbro asked.
"Dude, a talking horse!" another shouted. "Someone get the principals!"
"Did that little dude just say 'principals,' bro?" asked Sundude.
"I think so, dude," replied Moonbro.
"What kinda crazy school has more than one principal?"
This school, apparently, because it was at that moment that a couple of babes with suspiciously familiar color schemes stormed out to see what all the fuss was. The one with the albino-ish complexion was the first to react.
"Why are there horses in my quad?" she demanded.
"We prefer to be called 'ponies,' babe," Sundude corrected.
"Yeah, horses are lame !" Moonbro added. The pale babe was stunned into silence.
"Did... they just... talk?" her blue-ish/black-ish companion asked.
"Well duh," said Sundude, "It's not like that's what we've been doing this whole time."
"You're... you're not supposed to talk..." the stunned babe muttered.
"Well excuuuuuuuse me, principal," Sundude snapped, "Come on, bro, let's blow this joint. I can tell when we're not wanted." He donned a pair of sunglasses to demonstrate his indifference to their world.
"Yeah, screw you, hand-people," Moonbro, also wearing sunglasses, said as they moonwalked away, "We're goin' back to Equestria where it's cool to talk!"
"You said it," complimented Sundude.
And so then they leaped back through the mirror-portal, but not before the stunned principals muttered something about 'Sunset Shimmer.' Well, they didn't actually mutter it, in reality they turned to each other as a realization dawned on them and said "Equestria? We'll have to talk to Sunset Shimmer about this. She'd better not be up to something again," but saying they muttered something vague makes everything more mysterious. Builds suspense 'n' stuff.
* * * * *
One transitional sentence later, the two alicorn bros stumbled out of the other side of the mirror, however when they looked around they realized not everything was as it should be.
"Dude, what happened to all the Swag Empire's swag?" asked Moonbro.
"I dunno, bro," replied Sundude, "Everything's all... crystal-y now. This is most bizarre."
"You said it," said Moonbro.
The two wandered about the palace, totally weirded out by how everything was crystals. Eventually, they ran into a guard who was patrolling the halls. He was also crystals, and he gasped in surprise when he saw the pair.
"Princess Cele—wait, you're not—who are you?" he stammered.
"Bro, you don't know who we are?" asked Sundude.
"That's not cool," added Moonbro, "We freakin' saved you dudes, like, a bunch of times. You could at least recognize us."
"Naw bro," said Sundude, "This is the Swag Empire, we only helped them that one time, I think. It's cool if they don't remember us."
"Whatever, the dude's gone anyway," said Moonbro.
And indeed he was. The guard had ran off to report his strange encounter to the princess.
"Well now what are we going to do?" asked Moonbro, "Something weird happened to the Swag Empire while we were gone. How are we gunna to fix it?"
"I dunno," said Sundude with a shrug.
"Okay," said Moonbro.
And so the two kept wandering around until suddenly two other ponies teleported in front of them. Two tall, suspiciously familiar ponies.
"Whoa bro it's you! And me!" shouted Prince Sundude.
"Holy crap it's us as chicks!" cried Prince Moonbro.
"Egad! 'Tis a pair of doppelgangers!" proclaimed Princess Luna.
"Oh my, it's... us," said Princess Celestia.
The four stared at each other in silence for a moment before Moonbro leaned over to Sundude.
"I think this is what Festeggiare meant when he said the mirror might freak out," he whispered.
"I think so too, bro," Sundude whispered back.
In silence, the pairs kept on staring at one another, Moonbro frozen in his leaning position.
....
....
"They're kinda hot," he finally said.
Then they f*cked.
Author's Note
EQUESTRIA BOIZ: THEY'RE KIND OF RADICAL
EPIC DUDES
The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
Sundude and Moonbro go to an arcade
One day, Sundude and Moonbro were walking through town, doing their thing, when they came across a building they hadn't seen before. It was all glowy and making a bunch of weird electrical noises.
"What the pseudo-expletive is an 'Arcade,' dude?" Moonbro asked his brother, lowering his shades to get a better view of the giant neon letters.
"I have no idea, bro," Sundude replied, "but it looks most rambunctious. Let's go check it out."
They went inside, and found a bunch of colts and fillies playing all kinds of different video games. The whole place was dark except for the lights from screens and fancy dance pads. There was music with a pumping beat in the background, and the two brodudes bobbed their heads to the rhythm as they walked around.
"I can't see anything with these shades on, dude," Moonbro commented.
"Yeah, me either, but I'm not taking them off. Ponies might recognize us, and I do not want to deal with the pepperonis."
"You mean paparazzi?"
"Yeah, that. Hey, look at this thing!" Sundude pointed to one of the games, which a colt had just walked away from in a huff. "Pac Bro. I'mma try that one."
"Hmm, I think I'll check out Red Dude Redemption," said Moonbro. "That one seems pretty legit."
* * * * *
"Hey bro, I beat your record on Super Dude Bros!" Sundude shouted some time later.
"Oh yeah?" Moonbro taunted, "Well I just finished Maretroid in ten minutes. Beat that! "
"What?" cried Sundude, aghast. "That's, like, impossible! That game is far too difficult."
"You better believe it, dude," Moonbro said, smiling.
"Sundude! Moonbro! We finally found you!" Dawn Breaker suddenly shouted after suddenly bursting in through the arcade's doors which had suddenly opened. "We've been looking everywhere for you!" The rest of her friends trotted in after her, looking awesomely chill. Except for Pinkie Pie. She still looked like Pinkie Pie.
"Whoa, calm down DB," Sundude said, "What's the matter this time. Do I have to beat up more Giant Mutant Cockatrices?"
"No," said Dawn Breaker, "It's you ! You've been gone for the last month! Where have you been? Why haven't you helped with all this chaos?"
"What? A month? That can't be right," said Sundude, "We just got here."
"Chaos?" asked Moonbro. "I don't see any chaos."
"You mean you spent a whole month inside this arcade?" Dawn Breaker asked. "That's as long as it's been open!"
"Yup!" pipped the store's owner, Button Thrash, "They've been here since day one. They're my best customers!"
"Huh. Well whadda ya' know. I guess we did spend a whole month here," Sundude said. "Anyway, Dawny, what's the problem?"
"Chaos! It's everywhere! There's giant thorny branches growing around and wrecking everything! My friends and I have tried all we can think of to stop them from growing, but nothing works!"
"I told them they were uncool," said Rainbro Dude, "but they don't seem to give a single f—"
"I tried laughing at them!" Pinkie Pie interrupted. "But that only works on ghosties."
"I tried cutting them up and making them into surfboards, but they don't carve well, man. They don't carve well at all!" cried Rawity.
"I showed 'em what for when they got to my neck of the woods, but I don't have enough, uh, persuasion to kick 'em out of the rest of Equestria," Gutterfly said.
"I threw an apple at one. It didn't help," said Applejack.
"Well, that was a most valiant effort," Sundude said solemnly. "But don't worry, me and Moonbro can handle this, right bro?"
"Yeah, sure, just give me five minutes," Moonbro said, having started up a new game of Space Invadudes.
"Aw, bro, really? C'mon, we gotta save the day and stuff."
Moonbro would have replied, but just then a bunch of the freaky chaos branches burst through the floor and grabbed both the princes. Another pair burst through the ceiling, ripping it off and blinding everyone inside.
"Ah! Natural light!" cried Sundude. "It burns!"
"My eyes!" shouted Moonbro. "And my high score! Nooo!"
The branches wrapped around the princes, immobilizing them as more of the dark vines slithered along the ground toward them.
"Aw man, I do not like where this is going," commented Moonbro.
"Me niether, bro," said Sundude.
"Don't worry, I'll help you!" shouted Dawn Breaker, who was busy dodging a bunch of the branches.
"Naw, don't worry, we got this," said Sundude as a dozen of the vines wrapped around his chest, threatening to crush him. "You ready, bro?"
"Mm-hmm," was all Moonbro could say. The vines had wrapped his muzzle shut.
"Okay, let's do this!"
With a blast of magic, the two alicorns teleported into the sky, hovering there for a moment as the vines tried to figure out where their prey had escaped to. Before they could attack again, Sundude and Moonbro unleashed their awesome power, blasting the vines away with twin pillars of fire that erupted from their horns. All that was left afterward was a smoldering streak of black on the ground.
"Sick," commented Rainbro Dude.
"Alright, now let's go kick the everloving expletive out the rest of these weak vines," Moonbro cried triumphantly.
"Hold on, bro," said Sundude, "I think I've got a better idea."
* * * * *
"Discord!" Sundude shouted sometime later. "Get out here! Did you unleash all this nasty chaos?"
"Aw dang," Discord said, slithering out from behind the castle's sofa-thrones. "I thought you two dudes were dead. I thought this was my kingdom again."
"So you did do it?" Moonbro demanded.
"Yeah..."
"Not cool," said Sundude, "I asked if we were cool, Discord. You said we were cool. You lied man, that's weak."
"Hey man, we can't be cool if you're dead," Discord retorted, shrugging. "I thought you were dead, so we couldn't be cool, but whatever." With that he snapped his fingers, and all the chaos disappeared. "My bad."
Sundude narrowed his eyes at the freaky dragon-pony-goat-griffin-bat-dude-guy-thing. "Yeah, whatever... just don't do something like this ever again, or we'll stone you again. Again."
"Yeah, for forever this time," Moonbro added.
"Totally," confirmed Sundude.
"You got it, little dudes," Discord said, already having stopped caring about them, "I'm out." And with that he snapped out of existence to go do... whatever Discord do.
"Well that was weird," Moonbro said.
"Yeah," agreed Sundude, "I'm tired. Let's go back to the arcade."
"But dude, we kinda incinerated it, y'know, after it was wrecked by those freaky vines." Moonbro paused, remembering something. "Also I think Button Thrash might still have been in there."
"Oh..." said Sundude. "Awkward..."
"Yeah..."
And so once again, the day was saved.
Author's Note
Do fanfiction, not drugs.
View Online
The Adventures of Sundude and Moonbro
Sundude and Moonbro reach the end of their story
Sundude and Moonbro have been found dead in Las Vegas.
RIP :(
Author's Note
I got drunk and decided I should give this story an ending.
Hope you all are staying safe! :D
