Homesick

Applejack was up bright and early, as usual. She shifted to her side and cracked her eyes open a bit, the sunlight was starting to flood through the window in her room and she knew it was time to face the new day. The farmer had barely gotten any sleep; most of her night was plagued by the memory of kissing her best friend just that previous evening. Every time she felt herself drifting off to sleep, she’d think of Rainbow Dash’s face as she pulled her lips away, and she would feel the adrenaline begin to rush through her body again. She finally slid the covers away from herself, and sat up, moving her body towards the edge of the bed. The rooster outside began to crow, which meant the rest of the Apple family would be up shortly as well. She figured it would be best to get some work done around the farm, and speak with her friend privately a little later, once she woke up on her own of course.

It was especially warm out today, so the apple picker dressed appropriately. She was wearing a black t-shirt, red bandana around her neck, short jeans that came up above her knees, and of course her signature boots and hat. After a few glances in the mirror, she decided to head downstairs and get the day started. Applejack was able to keep herself pretty busy around the farm, doing her usual chores and tasks. About an hour after she’d started, she saw her older brother head out of the house, and go straight to plowing the fields. Although they passed each other a few times during the day, neither really exchanged any words. Sometimes they’d give a quick nod, or smile at one another, but Big Mac knew better than to pester his sister when she was in this kind of mood. He was sure she’d be too embarrassed to face him, after what they’d discussed last night – And he was right, Applejack had no idea how Mac felt about all of it, and wasn’t really eager to find out. She knew her brother would love her unconditionally, but Mac must have had his own thoughts over what happened, and, well, it made the younger sister a little uncomfortable. After a few hours of hard labor, both of the Apple siblings retired back to the house to grab some lunch. Although it was quiet, it wasn’t uncomfortable really. Applejack was less focused on her older brother now, and more focused on what she was going to say to her friend when she finally awoke. The girl stared down at her barely touched sandwich, and realized she wasn’t very hungry. She motioned the plate towards her brother, offering him the remainder of her lunch.

“Yuh sure?” He asked, already pulling the plate closer to him. She forced a small smile and nodded. He shrugged a bit before finishing off his sister’s lunch in a few quick bites. Before she knew it, Big Mac was heading back out the door to get his work done for the day.

AJ glanced at the clock, it was already past one o’clock, and there was no sign of Rainbow Dash. She knew the young athlete must have been exhausted from her travels, but that was still pretty late to sleep in, even for her. She originally planned on leaving her be and letting her sleep, but as the hours passed, AJ was growing more and more anxious. She wondered if she ought to just wake the Pegasus herself.

‘Maybe ah’ll just head upstairs and make sure she’s alright. She’s been asleep an awful long time…’ The blonde girl finally concluded. Satisfied with her decision, she headed upstairs. She slowed down as she reached the top of the stairs, barely shuffling along down the hallway. She felt her heart pounding against her chest, and it felt like sandbags were tied to her legs, trying to hold her back. She was so gun-ho before, so why could she barely move now?

‘Doggonit, what was I gonna say to her again? Oh for Pete’s sake!’ She mentally cursed. She found herself standing outside of the bedroom door, and knew it was now or never. She balled her hand into a fist, and held it up for about ten seconds before finally knocking on the door. There was no answer. ‘She must still be asleep…’ She wrapped her hand around the door’s knob, and turned it very cautiously, trying to make as little noise as possible. She pushed the door open just enough to peek her head in and look around.

“…Rainbow?” She realized the Pegasus wasn’t even in the room. She threw the door open and stepped inside, looking completely puzzled as her eyes shot around the room. “Where the hay did she go?!”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Just moments earlier, Dash was sitting up in her bed thinking about the night before. She still had no idea what to make of it, and her mind was going a million miles an hour. There were so many questions, she knew she would just have to face AJ and talk it out. Unfortunately, that wasn’t something she was ready to do. There were a few problems here – For one, if AppleJack told her she had feelings for her, what was Rainbow going to do? She had considered it a few times, sure, but her friendship was too important to her, so she never risked letting those feelings develop for her closest friend. Did Dash really love her back? And if so, what was she going to do about it? Could a relationship work? If Dash didn’t feel the same way, how was AJ going to take it? Would their friendship become too strained? Was she about to lose her best friend? Or, what if Applejack really didn’t mean anything by the kiss?

She heard Applejack shuffle around downstairs a bit, and figured she had come in for lunch. ‘I guess I should just talk to AJ about it…’ Dash sighed, and started getting herself dressed. Just seconds after she slipped her tank top on, she heard a body coming up the stairs. She knew it was Applejack, and the reality of it all hit her like a sack of bricks. Dash quickly looked over at the door, then the window next to her dresser. ‘Okay, Dash. You can do this…’ – The footsteps stopped. She knew Applejack was right behind that door, and the Pegasus completely froze up. ‘Oh Celestia what am I doing?’ and in one swift motion, Rainbow had shoved the window open, and leapt out. She took to the sky, flapping her wings as fast as she possibly could, feeling a weight lifted from her chest every foot she put between herself and the apple orchard. She thought it would be best to head into town first, spend some time away from the farmer and bounce some thoughts of her friends before hearing her best friend out.

Well, she hoped that was the right choice. She was sure she would have to face her friend’s wrath later for taking off so abruptly, but she could deal with that.

Dash was pretty fortunate, actually. None of her friends knew she was in town yet, so she had her pick of where to go. No one would really be looking for her, or bothering her about hanging out. She thought Twilight would be a pretty good start; she was very sensible and was usually the voice of reason. After a few minutes, Rainbow Dash found herself approaching the young magician’s library. She was praying Twilight was home. As she understood it, Twilight was between here and Canterlot a lot more now, considering she had been made royalty just a little over a year ago. The Pegasus brought herself a little closer to the library and caught a glance of Spike through the window, barely visible behind a stack of books he was carrying. That was a good sign, Dash thought. Spike wouldn’t be keeping himself so busy if Twilight weren’t there to order him around. She made a quick landing, and then circled around the library to the front door.

Dash gave a few quick knocks before just letting herself in. “Hello? TWILIGHT?” - Dash really had no idea what an inside voice was.  Spike was surprised by the sudden break in silence; he turned quickly, and ended up letting a few books slip out of his grip. In a failed attempt to catch them, he stumbled over a pile of books he had set behind him. Before he had time to register what had just happened, the boy felt a pair of helpful hands pulling him up.

“Thanks…” the young boy kicked a few books behind him, as if to spite them for tripping him, then looked up to see the cocky grin of a dearly missed friend. “Rainbow Dash!”

“What’s up, kid?!” Rainbow Dash pulled the boy into a headlock, and began to mercilessly noogie him. Spike just laughed and playfully tried to pull away. After a few quick seconds of torture, she let the kid go, laughing quietly at his now untidy hair.

“Spike, who’s down there with you?” A third voice arose in the house.

Dash was quick to remember why she came by in the first place, and darted towards the stairs, leading up to her friend’s room. Spike just shrugged, and carried on with his work, starting by picking a few of the stray books off the floor. Twilight was just getting ready to come down, but before she could even turn away from her desk, Rainbow Dash was just inches away from her face.

“WWAAAAAAAAAHHH” Twilight placed a hand over her chest, clutching her shirt for a second. “Rainbow Dash?!” After the initial shock wore down, she rose out of her chair to hug her friend.

“What’s up, Twi?” Dash returned the hug, and chuckled as it lingered long after she had already let go. Twilight pulled away just a few seconds later. She was beyond thrilled to see her friend back.

Dash sized up her friend for a moment, noticing not much had changed (Besides the addition of wings). She still wore her purple hair the same way, could care less about her fashion sense, and from the looks of it, had been up all night buried in some book.

“Dash, what are you doing here? I had no idea you were coming back into town…Do the girls know?” As usual, the young magician had a million questions.

Rainbow shook her head “No. Only Applejack knows I’m here…And, well, you obviously.”

Twilight’s smile faded away. She realized why Dash had come home.

“Oh…So you came home because of…”

“Yeah”, Dash cut her off, seeing that the topic made her friend uncomfortable. “It was sort of an unplanned visit, but to be fair I was going to come back for a few weeks when my season break started. But, Applejack sent me a letter last week explaining what had happened, and… Well, here I am.”  She shrugged, what other explanation was really needed?

A small smile returned to the bookworm, it really was great to see her long-time friend, she had just wished it could be under better circumstances. She placed a hand on the small of Rainbow’s back, and began to lead her away from the desk.

“C’mon, let’s go downstairs and talk. I’ll make us something to eat.”

That, of course, put a smile back on the pegasus’ face.

~ ~ ~

“An’ then Soarin’ decided he wasn’t just gonna stand there and take that kinda talk from Spitfire anymore!” Dash was flailing her arms around as she told the story to her friend. She spoke between bites of food, and, much to her friend’s dismay, was spitting breadcrumbs everywhere as she spoke. Twilight just politely shined it on, though. “So he goes up to her, and she’s yellin’ at all of the other flyers, telling them to stop laughing –“, She paused to take another bite of her sandwich, “an’ before she can say anything, SOARIN’ DIPS HER DOWN and LOCKS LIPS WITH HER!”

“Oh my gosh…What did she do about it?” Twilight was trying to seem as interested in her friend’s story as possible.

“Let’s just say it was daytime, but Soarin’ was seeing stars for sure.” Dash began to laugh as she thought back to the moment. Twilight couldn’t help herself; she began to laugh at the story, too.

For about an hour, the two friends had been swapping stories, talking about new adventures, people they had met, places they had been, and of course, the latest Daring Do books. Twilight had plenty going on herself, given she was a technically a princess now, but her responsibilities were more mundane, and for the most part, too boring to discuss. She spent a lot of time in Canterlot trying out new spells or attending conferences, stuff like that. Dash didn’t mind hearing about it, though. She actually thought it was pretty cool to be close friends with someone so important.

“So, uh…Dash….How is Applejack? Does she seem to be doing okay?” Twilight finally switched the topic over. She thought it was important to discuss, she was genuinely concerned, and Rainbow Dash had been the last one to see her.

“Well…Uhhmm…Fine, I guess. At first she seemed pretty bent out of shape, but after we talked a little bit, she seemed alright. She took it pretty hard when I didn’t show up for the funeral, huh?” There it was - the elephant in the room.

Twilight had no idea how to put it delicately. She didn’t say anything right away, and that alone let Dash know the gravity of it. Dash lowered her eyes to the floor, kind of wondering why she had even bothered asking, when the answer was so obvious.

“Oh, Dash. She understood – It was so sudden, and it’s not like you chose to be so far away from home. It was just unfortunate circumstances.  We all know you would change that all in a heartbeat if you could.” The magician rested a reassuring hand on her friend’s shoulder. “She must feel much better now that you’re here. You did say she seems a little happier?” She offered.

Rainbow Dash sunk down in her seat a little bit. “Well…Everything was okay…I thought I had made it up to her, but…I think I blew it again.”

Twilight raised a brow “How do you mean? Did you guys have a fight or something?”

Rainbow had only wished. A fight, she could deal with.

“Not exactly…”

“Then…What happened?” Twilight impatiently egged her on.

She looked into her friend’s bright purple eyes for a moment, then let her gaze drop. Rainbow Dash took in a deep breath, and let it all come out.

“We were walking in the orchard last night, and she took me to see Granny Smith. I had no idea we were going there, by the way, and I was already freaking out. I knew she took me there because she wanted some closure; she wanted to make up for me not being there. She said everything that had been troubling her, I said a few things to make her feel better, and the next thing I know, she’s kissing me.”

Twilight seemed completely lost now. “Wow, that took an unexpected turn…”

“You’re telling me.”

“So…What did you?”

“Absolutely nothing”, Dash let out a soft sigh, “which I kind of regret now. Applejack seemed as surprised as I was by the kiss. She stormed off, and I just followed her back to the house without saying anything. I haven’t talked to her since.”

“So how do you know she’s upset with you?” The young heir to Equestria questioned.

“She wouldn’t talk to me, or look at me, she didn’t say good night, or anything. She must be…And, if she wasn’t already, she will be when I get back. I heard her coming upstairs, but I was too afraid to talk to her, so I left before she had the chance to.” Dash folded her arms up on the table, and let her head fall atop them. “I’m an idiot…”

“Dash, it just sounds like she’s confused, and most likely embarrassed by what happened. How would you feel if you accidentally kissed your best friend?”

Dash turned her head to the side, but didn’t break contact from the table. “Pretty lousy, I guess.”

“How did you feel about it?”

The question caught the Pegasus of guard. She raised herself off the table, and stared back at her friend. She still didn’t know the answer, and had been trying her hardest not to think about it.

“I felt…I dunno. Confused. I didn’t think AJ liked me like that.” She answered honestly.

“Do you like her like that?”

“NO! WELL, I mean…Okay, don’t get me wrong, I love AJ more than anything in this world, even more than being a Wonderbolt. She’s pretty much the only family I have. But, I can’t think of her in that way.”

“Why?” Twilight simply replied.

Rainbow Dash felt her heart racing in her chest. Why did she come to Twilight for advice again?

“B…Because. Well, like I said. She’s my family; you wouldn’t date your brother, right?” That wasn’t the entire reason, and Dash knew it. “Besides, we’re both busy. I’m barely ever at home, if…Let’s just say HYPOTHETICALLY IF I did feel that way about her, how could I ever bring myself to tell her? ‘Hey AJ, I love you, but I’m gonna leave home for a year and make you hate me more’, plus, if she doesn’t love me back, think of what would happen to our friendship! I would never risk that, ever –“, Dash paused, realizing she was ranting now. Twilight was staring up at her – at some point the Pegasus must have stood up without realizing it.

Rainbow took a seat across from her friend once more, and took another deep breath before continuing, more calmly this time.

“I guess I came here because I don’t know how to handle this. This isn’t really about how I feel; I just need to know what to do...I don't know if I'm ready to face her."

“I can’t really tell you what to do, Rainbow. Look, if it were me, I’d just be honest. If she says the kiss didn’t mean anything, then you have nothing to worry about. If she really does have feelings for you, at least hear her out. You don’t have to tell her what you told me, but I’m sure it’ll make her feel a lot better to get it off her chest, right?”

Rainbow nodded in agreement. Twilight had to be right, after all she felt much better speaking her mind about it.

“I know….But, I just can’t help feeling that it’s a lose-lose situation…”

“Because…You have feelings for her?” Twilight chimed in.

Dash felt a lump in her throat; it suddenly became very difficult for any words to come to the surface. “If…She tells me she likes me, I’ll probably just lie and say I don’t feel the same way…I can’t do that to her, not now, anyway. She doesn’t deserve to be with someone like me. Someone who would never be around to take care of her…” the Pegasus was very visibly starting to get frustrated. "I'm the stupid element of loyalty, and now I'm barely here to help my best friend" She slammed her hand down on the table; this caught Twilight by surprise. “Dammit, Twilight, why did she have to kiss me?! If she tells me she loves me, I’m going to break her heart. If she tells me she doesn’t love me, she’s just going to break mine! Either way, I can kiss our friendship goodbye. LITERALLY.”

Twilight watched her friend carefully, she noticed the Pegasus was choking back a few tears – she wouldn’t dare cry in front of anyone, in fact, this was the closest Twilight had ever come to seeing her actually cry.

“Alright, Rainbow Dash, calm down”, Twilight scooted in closer, and wrapped her arm around her friend in distress. “Maybe there’s just been this buildup of tension because….Well, because you both know you do want something more than a friendship. And, maybe it couldn’t hurt to try? I highly doubt that if it didn’t work out, that would be the end of it. I’ve seen you two get in pretty nasty fights…”

Rainbow Dash sniffled quietly, praying it wasn’t apparent she wanted to start crying. “I..I dunno. Do you really think we could still be friends?” she felt a little better hearing that.

“I know it. You two are inseparable. Plus, like you said, you two are family. Like Applejack would ever disown a member of her own family?”  The bookworm tried.

“I guess you’re right.” Dash was pretty defeated at this point. She didn’t much feel like discussing it anymore. She decided she should head home and let the situation actually play out. At this point, she just wanted to get it over with and move on. Twilight was right; this wouldn’t be the end of their friendship. She owed it to her closest friend to hear her out, and that’s what she was going to do, despite her own feelings. Once again, she had to think of Applejack, and stop thinking of herself.

“Alright, I guess I’d better head back. Thanks for everything though, Twilight. I really owe you one.” The Pegasus offered a quick smile before standing up. Twilight drew her into a quick hug before she took off.

“You’ll be fine, Rainbow. Let me know how it goes, okay?”

She nodded back. As Rainbow headed towards the door, Twilight couldn’t help but think she looked like someone who had just been given a death sentence. She looked downright…Mopey. It didn’t really suit Dash. It was out of her hands now, though. Rainbow had to decide on her own what to do. Her friend took off to the sky, headed back home to Sweet Apple Acres to get everything sorted out.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

“Dammit! For Celestia’s sake, how could ah mess up so bad?” The farm girl was angrily stabbing her pitchfork into the pile of hay in front of her, and carelessly tossing it over her shoulder. She had been doing this for quite a while now, undoubtedly paying little attention to the mess she was making. She jabbed the object into the ground and took a moment to wipe her brow off. ‘Ah scared that poor girl off fer good, just ‘cause I can’t even control mah own stupid feelings…’ She frowned, realizing she had done a terrible job at piling the hay up in the barn. “GOSH DARNIT!”

She snatched the pitchfork out of the ground, and grumbled to herself before continuing her repetitive and boring task.

“You’re pretty lousy at this, AJ.” Someone mused from above.

Applejack nearly dropped the pitchfork she was holding; she looked around for a moment, then finally up above her to the top of the barn. She placed her hand above her brow to block out the glaring sun. It really was her, she wasn’t going crazy…

“Dash! Where in tarnation have ya been?!” She yelled up to the Pegasus. “Ah’ve been worried sick!”

The Pegasus was sitting with her legs crossed atop the barn. She gave a quick wave to her friend on the ground below her. Applejack didn’t seem too angry…Well, not yet. She spread her wings out and sailed down to the ground to meet her flustered friend. She was trying her best to keep calm, not making it seem like less than an hour ago, she was having a full breakdown at their friend’s house.

“Well?” Applejack crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing at her feathered friend. The girl before her seemed barely intimidated.

“Jeez, I just left for a while to stretch my wings out, okay? Flew into town, wandered around for a bit, and now I’m back.”

“That’s a darn lie, Rainbow. If that were the case, why didn’t ya just tell me you were goin’ into town? Ah came into yer room after lunch and ya’ll were just gone!” The apple farmer was starting to raise her voice. She wasn’t buying it. “Now, are yuh gonna tell me what happened?”

Rainbow Dash wasn’t surprised that her friend could see right through her. Yes, Applejack could indeed read her like a book, but the Pegasus wasn’t going to back down.

“Look, I was just a little bit scatter-brained when I woke up this morning. I wanted to clear my head, so I went out flying. Sorry I forgot to tell you…What’s got you so upset?” Dash was doing her best to divert the conversation away from herself, and steer it towards what was really on Applejack’s mind.

Applejack couldn’t hold it in anymore. She had been waiting all day to confront the Pegasus, and now that she was finally here…

“Alright, Dash. It doesn’t matter. Ah’m just glad ya’ll came back…” Her voice softened a little bit, she was relieved to be getting this off of her chest. “I was needin’ to talk ya about somethin’.”

‘Here it comes…’ “What is it, AJ?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Dash. We need tah talk about last night. When ah…Gave ya peck on the lips? Ah just needed to apologize proper to yah for that. Ah didn’t mean anything by it, ya just have to understand…The things ya’ll were sayin’ were so sweet, ah guess ah got caught up in the moment. Anyway, ah hope you can forgive me?”

There it was. Dash let it soak in for a minute, all while staring blankly at the tall blonde girl. She had a pretty good poker face, so she let that play to her advantage here. It seemed so much…Simpler than she had expected. Here Dash was thinking this would be a big dramatic thing, and it was sort of the opposite.

“So…That’s it? You just wanted to apologize for kissing me?”

Applejack frowned. “Of course, sugarcube. Ah could tell it really threw ya off, and to be honest, ah don’t know why ah did it. But, ah’m hopin’ we can put that behind us, no harm done? Whaddya say, Rainbow?” She extended her hand out to the Pegasus.

Dash glanced down at it, then back at her friend. This moment was very reminiscent of the first time they’d ever met. AJ’s green eyes were flickering in the sunlight, and her lips were curled into a smile. Rainbow Dash smiled back, quickly grabbing Applejack’s hand, and gave it a firm shake.

“No hard feelings, AJ… It’s cool. Hehe…It didn’t bother me at all. I was just hoping you weren’t too messed up about it.” The Pegasus was lying through her teeth, but she thought this simple resolution was sort of a god-send. She wasn’t going to complicate it, even if it hurt to hear the kiss really didn’t mean anything.

AJ was grinning; her best friend’s words made her heart soar. “Aw, shucks! Ah was just afraid ah’d scared yuh off. Then ah really wouldn’t be seein’ yuh until after yer retirement!” the farm girl started to laugh.

“Hehe. Yeah, right! As if you could ever scare me off. I’m a Wonderbolt, remember? I do death-defying stunts every day. A silly little kiss is barely something to worry about. Besides, you’re my best friend, AJ. It’ll take a lot more than that to make me hate you.”

“Oh…Rainbow! Ah’m glad yah feel that way. Mac was right, ah was worryin’ over nothin’. Ah shoulda known mah best friend would understand.” She pulled the Pegasus into a quick hug; this time, Dash didn’t return the gesture, however. She pulled away, still smiling at her friend. Something didn’t seem right, although she had just reconciled everything with her friend, something still lingered in the back of Applejack’s mind. Rainbow didn’t seem quite right either, but she decided it wasn’t time to get into an argument over it. She gave the flyer a few pats on the back, then bent over to retrieve her pitchfork.

“Alright”, Applejack playfully poked her friend a few times with the tip of her farming tool, “whaddya say we get tah work? Maybe ya’ll can teach me a thing er two ‘bout doin’ this, since I’m apparently so ‘lousy’”.

Dash smiled gently. “Well, for one, the hay is on the ground, not in my stomach!” She shoved the pointed object away from her, and laughed a bit.

The two girls had no problem breaking any awkward tension between them, playing little pranks on each other, starting a few small competitions, and joking around as usual. Dash was content – her best friend seemed happy, at least. That was enough to put her mind at ease for now. Hours passed, and the sun was finally setting below the hill tops. Rainbow Dash was now perched in a tree, watching her friend on the ground below her finish the last of the chores before calling it quits for the night. She knew things would go back to normal soon enough – In just a few weeks, she’d be back training with the Wonderbolts, AJ would be handling the farm just fine, and they could forget this stupid kiss had ever happened.

“C’mon, bird-brain” AJ teased, breaking her friend’s train of thought “let’s head inside and get us some grub.”

The Pegasus slid down from her branch, ready to follow her friend back to the house. “Right behind you.”

~End Chapter One~