Resident Crusader

by Pyrotechnic

Rating: mature
Tags: Drama, Crossover, Human, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 26898

A Resident Evil 4 crossover, but with various twists to keep it interesting! Starring the Crusaders.

{Currently being rebooted and rewritten. Once I have a few new additional chapters, everything currently written will be deleted to start afresh! The new rebooted story will not be as over reliant on the game, and will feature a new plot line of sorts.}

Scootaloo was just on her way to start a crusade with her beloved friends. She didn't expect a malfunction in the multiverse sending her and her friends to a lonely town in rural Europe or to be involved in a kidnapping case. Luckily she has a former cop to help her out.

But darkness lurks in the shadows and just cause she has his help doesn't mean that terrible things can still occur. Dreams and nightmares plague the young mare about a horrific tragedy from her past, and horrible villagers trying to kill her keep her on her hooves. Can Leon and Ada help the trio of friends get home? Can Ashley learn to keep her head under pressure and stop relying on others to save her?

Read on to eventually find out!

Rated Mature, like the pictures says for Explicit violence and gore and langugage. So the standard!

For the most part, follows the core story line of the game, however, there will be a lot of stuff not featured in the game and thus over reliance on every single thing that happens in the game is not recommended. Takes place in an alternate universe where Diamond Tiara wasn't a bully. Though this plot point is barely featured. It features enough to warrant a mention.

Inspired by Shadowstalker's Cutie Mark Engineers/Necromorph Killer's Yay! but not intended to be in any way, shape, or form related. You will understand a lot more of the story if you have played this game, but you can still enjoy it regardless.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-18 19:21:07 UTC

Prologue: A Semi-Normal Day

"Alright, so what are we goin’ ta do this time, gals?" Apple Bloom stood confidently as she waited for her fellow partners in youthful shenanigans. She did not have to wait for long until an answer came to her.

"Well, we have yet to try Cutie Mark Crusader Tightrope Walkers, yay! Maybe we can try Cutie Mark Crusader Cannon Launchers, yay, so I can fly!" This comment was complete with the usual cheer of yay, though said in a normal, conversational tone. It was also declared quite proudly by Scootaloo, their pegasus friend and happily adopted daughter of her beloved idol, Rainbow Dash. She never talked much about her life beforehoof.

"Are you guys trying to get us killed? Cannon launchers would probably earn us a straight trip to the critical ward at the hospital. That’s if we are really lucky! We could die horrific deaths!" This was squeaked by the unicorn Sweetie Belle and full-time dictionary, lovingly teased by Scootaloo.

"Wow, you really bring out the positives of everything, don't you? It is a suggestion. I also don't see you coming up with anything we could do!" Scootaloo refused to back down, clashing her head with the unicorn’s, making sure to not impale herself on her horn. That would have been embarrassing.

"I was just thinking! We have been trying to do various things and all we have to show for it is a sad amount of tree sap and bruises. Can we try something relaxing?"

"What's wrong with my idea? I have been slow to fly, and I feel like mom is getting annoyed. The cannon will really help in my goal!"

"You can get killed, or worse!"

"What is worse than death? There is nothing worse than death."

Before Sweetie could find the obvious fault in Scootaloo's reasoning skills, Apple Bloom decided to prevent the upcoming crisis while they were still being somewhat civil to one another.

"Gals, we were in agreement that gettin’ a Cutie Mark in arguin’ won't help solve anythin’. Jus’ try ta calm down." Both Crusaders turned to look at Apple Bloom, who was obviously annoyed. Glares turned sheepish, and both hung their heads in regret. "Anyway, Scootaloo had a good idea. The attempts really have blurred together, an’ Ah can't remember if we tried tightrope walkin’ yet, but it seems like the best we can do."

They then drew a huge breath and shouted at the top of their lungs, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER TIGHT ROPE WALKERS, YAY!"

Happy that she prevented a future war from breaking out, she waited for the two to walk with her and they ran off to walk across a thin path of rope to roads unknown. Any unfortunate ponies left in the way of the loud chant felt their ears ringing and their eyes staring off into space. Predictably, no Cutie Marks were gained, and hopeful cheer turned to bitter depression. It seemed that they will never receive a Cutie Mark.

"That didn't work at all, no it didn't." Scootaloo hung her head low, and she felt almost sleepy, depressed and defeated.

"That was a little redundant, don't you think, Scoots?" Sweetie's overuse of big words was a result of Rarity overexposure. Too much Rarity in big doses could spell trouble on one's vocabulary.

"What are you, a dictionary?" The traditional insult felt weak this time. This obsessive insult grew tiring, and as a result Sweetie Belle didn't bother to respond. Apple Bloom, though, seemed oddly cheerful despite not obtaining her Cutie Mark.

Finally taking notice of this, Scootaloo turned to the unofficial leader of their gang. "Why are you so cheerful? We failed in our life's goal. We are gigantic failures." She ignored Sweetie's glare.

"Applejack is takin’ me ta the city this weekend ta see Babs. Since we didn't get our Cutie Marks, Ah figured she might have been successful wit’ the Manehatten branch o’ the CMC. Don't be so down on yerself Scoots, we will eventually get ‘em! The good thing is Diamond Tiara seems ta have gotten bored wit’ givin’ us a hard time. It has been three long, glorious weeks. They jus’ pretend we don't exist! It’s the greatest thing ever!"

While true and positive, Apple Bloom's words failed to motivate Scootaloo from the dreaded pits of despair. Ever since joining all those years ago at Diamond's Cute-Ceañera, their pegasus friend seemed determined to obtain her Cutie Mark. She always seemed to be more depressed than the other two. Apple Bloom learned her lesson with the Heart's Desire incident, learning some patience. At least, the kind of patience not associated with magical cheating.

Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, just focused on being with her two best friends. She enjoyed most of what they did together, and when opportunity seemed to knock, she would gladly welcome it. Ever the optimist, she knew that, one day, she would obtain the greatest treasure known to a pony. Teasing by Diamond in her earlier years caused her to want a Cutie Mark, and the happiest day in her life was when she met Scootaloo. A lot of lonely nights huddled in the corner were destroyed with the tom-coltish Pegasus around.

These were three friendships that would be forever. Nothing could tear these three youngsters apart. Even the occasional argument would break apart and die a horrific death after a little while.

"Sweetie, darling, it is time to head for home. I have a gigantic order to complete, and I could only spare a few minutes to pick you up." Rarity had arrived. To prevent Sweetie's traditional complaint, Rarity decided to resort to the next best thing of instant compliance. She really couldn't afford any delays, however small, and decided to resort to bribery. "If you come along now, I will allow you assist me in my work."

Sweetie looked overjoyed, and danced around happily. "However, you can't actually sew or anything, but you can be my personal assistant and help me. You can even stay in the room this time." This caused Sweetie Belle to pause, but since she was allowed to watch and assist Rarity, at least, she decided to stay positive anyway.

"I guess I will see you guys tomorrow,” Sweetie said, a twinge of sadness and regret in her voice. It was always hard to say goodbye to her best friends.

"Apple Bloom, ya might as well hurry along home wit’ me. We have a lotta chores ta do, an’ Zap Apple Season is almost upon us." While Rarity had the Crusaders distracted, Applejack managed to sneak up to the oblivious filly. Apple Bloom shared a goodbye hug with Sweetie and Scootaloo, and stood next to Applejack, preparing to leave.

It was at this point that Rainbow Dash swooped down from wherever it was she had been in the sky. She was done with her routine and Scootaloo had been pestering her to see the latest Daring Do movie. She, despite the last three movies not being the best, had seen them anyway. Much to Rainbow's delight, the younger had taken to Daring Do almost instantly. There was a brief moment of panic when the fan-filly declared a short-lived war on reading. That ended after Rainbow, who knew all the excuses by this point, faked errands and placed the first book in a place where she knew Scootaloo would find it.

Needless to say, Scootaloo grew bored eventually. Since she would fall to her death if she attempted to escape the house, she decided to go snooping. She eventually fell in love with Daring Do and had a moment similar to Dash at the hospital. Attempting to lie her way out of it, she put on her best poker face, and pretended that the most she did with her day was stare into space. Dash, however, proved this theory wrong and caught Scootaloo in her poor lie.

This incident soon turned into a ritual where the two would take turns reading from various Daring books. Sometimes, they would act out favorite scenes. Though this was done when there were no witnesses. She easily caught up to her idol and mother figure, eventually finishing the series before Rainbow did, much to her idol’s bafflement.

When the movies started arriving, both Pegasi were absolutely thrilled about this and faithfully watched them. Now, it was time for Rainbow to collect her young charge and fly her over to the theater to watch the sixth and penultimate installment of this popular movie series. Before she could even begin to say anything, a pink blur appeared out of nowhere and proceeded to babble at a thousand words per minute.

"IamheretogettheplotofthestoryupandrunningandinformyouthatTwilightneedsyouatherhometoshowyouthelatestexpermentshecreated.Wearetogothererightawayandthereistobenodelaysorexcuses.Excusesarethesecondworsewayoflosingafriendandseverelyfrowneduponintheseparts.Usuallythesekindsofsituationsturnoutbad,butIhaveagoodfeelingaboutthis"

When Pinkie Pie finally took a deep breath, she found everypony staring at her, in a weird way. No matter how many times they have been exposed to her random nature, it still caught everypony off guard. Applejack had a glazed look in her eyes, slowly piecing together what her random friend spat out. Rarity looked confused, and Rainbow looked like her brain exploded.

The Crusaders looked a little lost as well, and silently prayed that an explanation would be given. Pinkie, realizing that she still had yet to learn the concept of spacing out her sentences, instantly made things clearer to understand.

"I am here to get the plot of the story up and running and inform you that Twilight needs you at her home to show you the latest experiment she created. We are to go there right away, and there is to be no delays or excuses. Excuses are the second worse way of losing a friend and severely frowned upon in these parts. Wow, I can't believe the author typed that all out again!"

Blank looks greeted her after she finished. "What are you.... you know what? I don't think I want to know." Rainbow had recovered enough to utter that last sentence and she grabbed Scootaloo and placed her on her back.

"I will take Scootaloo ahead, and meet you girls at the Library. Twi has been experimenting a lot lately, and maybe this time won't be a dud." She promptly disappeared, utilizing her superior flying skills to rocket off into the clear blue.

It didn't take long for the other two to scoop up their charges and follow the flight path of their friend. Only Pinkie remained behind, and she stayed quiet for a little while.

"Yeah, it is totally cliche what happens, but what are you going to do? I hope he at least has the decency to switch things around a bit." Anyone who would have been nearby and heard Pinkie utter this cryptic announcement would have been lost. One brave soul decided to step forth and do the unthinkable.

"What the hell are you talking about? There is nopony there." Pinkie giggled and stared at the pony who dared to question her, a slightly manic expression on her face.

"That is why, you weren't the intended audience here. The author of that sentence and its intended audience will know just what I am talking about. That is all that matters. If you value what little sanity you have left, you will drop this conversation and move on." Nopony dared disobey her. Pinkie’s word was law and to disobey it would end somewhat badly in the sanity department.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Twilight smiled at her gathered friends. She glared slightly when Pinkie finally appeared, muttering some excuse about entertaining the audience, which was promptly ignored. Rarity had been complaining that she needed to work on an order, but made no movement toward the door. Fluttershy was her usual quiet self and cheered up slightly when Rainbow put a wing over her in a comforting manner.

Applejack, unlike Rarity, wasn't actually in a hurry or anything, and waited patiently for Twilight to elaborate her point of bringing them there. Twilight happily obliged Applejack's unspoken plea. "Thank you all for coming. I have under this sheet a device that allows you to bring anypony from history to the here and now." Nopony saw Pinkie’s eye roll. They missed her quiet, hissed comment, "just typical". They were too focused on Twilight's motivational speech.

"Being an avid reader, I got to wondering what it would be like to actually meet somepony from a book or ancient history. I asked Spike if he thought it was a good idea. Sadly, he declined to comment, but I am glad you are all here to witness as I make history." She took hold of the sheet with her magic, and paused purely for dramatic effect, finally unwrapped the sheet in what could be purely an over-the-top fashion.

Silence greeted the room, and Twilight grew nervous as no one spoke. Finally, Scootaloo decided to be brave and utter what everyone was too stunned to mention.

"What is it?”

Such simple words, and they were the truest anypony could speak. The machine was huge and had a glass door with a button panel nearby. It looked ominous and foreboding, seeming to suck the air out of the room.

"I can understand that this machine looks rather, let's say, menacing, but I am 97.999 percent sure that it will work. The theory is, I put a book in that room, enter the pony's name in the module, and wait approximately five seconds. The pony I have chosen--and many stimulating conversations-- will appear."

Nopony spoke for quite awhile. Eventually Fluttershy, much to everypony's shock, decided to break the tension in the room.

"Forgive me, but how do you send that poor pony back? Seems to be rude to randomly pick up a pony from their world and keep them here when they eventually want to return home."

Silence. It was so quiet that Fluttershy could hear everypony's heart beat and random shuffling noises. Twilight grinned sheepishly and raised a hoof to rub the back of her neck. She hadn’t thought that far ahead and she really needed to start doing it more. She could only do so much.

“I didn’t actually think that through. I was actually excited about the prospect of meeting an important figure from one of my favorite part of history. I am sure I can figure out the kinks as time goes on though.” She pretended to not hear the sighs of annoyance from her friends. They were always doing that.

“This one actually sounds impressive, Twilight. So you say you can meet any literary character, huh? Can you do fictional characters?” Anypony who knew Dash’s current obsession knew where this was going from a mile away.

Twilight snickered slightly, enjoying the fact she had a literary buddy. “Why of course, Rainbow. Goodness, you can probably be transferred to her world once I have the kinks worked out. Going to worlds is temporary, seeing as how I wanted to meet Starswirl the Bearded at the time this idea popped into my head. But,I am sure it is possible.”

Her smirk grew as Dash allowed a small squee to escape. She had the chance to meet Daring Do! How awesome was that? For a while, nopony else said anything. Each was absorbed with the information that Twilight just shared with them.

“I actually have quite a lot to do, but I really wanted to show you what I have been working on.” She grinned a little. “I would actually like to work on it now. Of course, working here is quite lonely and now that you are all here, it will be doubly so when you all leave.” She trailed off, hoping that somepony would pick up her hint.

“Of course we will help you, Twilight. I have to make an important dress and finish it tomorrow anyway. It’s just because it is such a high-class client that I thought I needed to work on it sooner. Sleep is for the weak-minded anyway.” Rarity laughed nervously and glanced once toward the general direction of her boutique.

Her agreement was shared by everypony. Twilight clapped once with her hooves. She loved when her friends helped with her projects. “Thanks everypony! Only a few more things to actually do, but it shouldn’t take too long to complete it. Most of my material is in the basement, and it is kinda scattered,” she finished, feeling slightly embarrassed.

After some muttering and slight cursing from an unknown source, they followed the librarian to the basement. Rainbow muttering excitedly from her side. In the excitement, both the machine and the Crusaders were left alone. Sweetie had a glazed faraway look that said she was miles away. Apple Bloom stared at the machine thoughtfully. Scootaloo just sat there, waiting for something to happen.

“Well, Twilight’s new machine seems to be a success. I wonder how she intends to work it.” Nopony had an answer to Sweetie's unspoken question, but they weren’t attempting to find out. It looked really foreboding to them and to tinker with it, would spell disaster. Normally they would be all over it, but not this time.

A low rumbling seemed to drift out of nowhere, and all three heads turned around. There was nothing on all sides that they could see, and it worried them that they started to hear random noises. It was a general sign of madness, and they were too young to experience even a fraction of it.

The machine started to shake a little and gave off angry and hungry-sounding noises. Sweetie Belle started edging toward the basement door, her face scrunched up in fear.

“Twilight, your machine is leaking!”

Silence greeted these words. No hurried hoofsteps signaled that help was on the way. Again, the frantic filly tried to gain the attention of the adults. Each of them were backing away and Sweetie kept trying to signal to an adult. Such blasphemy! Everything was going to chaos, and they hadn’t even done anything.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about the adults, little pony! That gifted unicorn created a true portal to another world. In fact, this is strictly necessary.”

That voice wasn’t Apple Bloom or Scootaloo at all. It wasn’t even somepony they knew. Leaning against the machine, looking calm was something else entirely. If Sweetie Belle had the thought process to shriek, she would have done so.

It was a monster that was leaning against the machine.

It wasn’t ugly like most monsters she knew of, but the creature standing before them could be filed in the “strange” category. It stood upright on two hind hoofs. The figure wore what looked to be an all black outfit with strange looking red straps attached to it’s chest. She had sunglasses on, so she couldn’t see what color the eyes were. It looked feminine, but she wasn’t an expert on strange figures. Whatever it was, it wasn’t equine at all.

“To answer your unasked question, no, I am not a monster. Your world doesn’t see much of my kind. Though, in a little while, you will see a different world. Your destiny is in a dangerous world, filled with various monsters. I am what is known as a human. Three souls will have a marked destiny in two worlds.

“Though he has skill, I am afraid that things will be a lot harder this time around. A deadly threat from his world will affect everything and anyone he holds dear. Soon, both worlds will collide, forcing allies in the unlikeliest places. When the time comes, one of you will be forced to make a horrible decision, but you should prevail. The road ahead will be harder than what you are used to. Not to mention, a lot more dangerous.”

Silence greeted these oddly prophetic words, and nopony moved. Finally, Scootaloo, always the brave one, decided to speak up. “Just what the hay are you talking about? Just who the heck are you to decide that we are to go?”

The woman grinned, showing her teeth, startling them a little. “All in due time, young one! Such bravery is admirable, but unnecessary. Your world will be in danger as well and the Elements will have their work cut out for them. No, my little ponies, I need your help. It will be an adventure, and you will find out a lot about yourselves along the way. Adventures are always rewarding in that respect. Just know, I am not your enemy.”

Sweetie still tried to get the attention of the adults, but it was proving to be useless. Not one hoof step up those blasted stairs. Just what were they doing down there? It was scary enough, that this creature seemed to know about their world.

Again, a bright white started to fill the room, enveloping her friends, who vanished from sight. This freaked the unicorn enough to shriek and pound violently against the door. “RARITY!!!”

Almost as if to spite her, just as the white glow seemed to surround her, Sweetie Belle could finally hear the hoof steps she so desperately wanted to hear.. The last thing she saw before the void took her were the shocked expressions of her sister and Twilight. Sweetie Belle’s face was composed of shocked awe, mixed with guilt.

Chapter 1-1: Meeting Leon

Leon Kennedy opened the door and forced himself to exit the car, waving goodbye to the two guards his agency sent out to drive him to the village. The President had entrusted him personally to find his daughter, and he was secretly relieved to do so. The endless amounts of paperwork and somewhat quiet lifestyle got dull after awhile. Give him a gun and a few first aid sprays and he was all set.

His contact, he was told, was named Ingrid Hunnigan. She sounded like one of those strictly professional, mid-fifty types who weren’t at all fun to be around. Once he arrived at the entrance, he would have to walk the rest of the way. Sometimes he wished he had a partner, the way he did back in Racoon City. That way, he could have some company in case he was attacked again. Misery always loved company.

The excitement of fighting for one’s very life was a guilty pleasure that Leon would take to the grave. He hated when he had to fight with death, but when he was winning, it was pure adrenaline. He took a few martial arts classes and even managed to build something of a reputation.

“Just up ahead is the village. We will stay and watch the car, don’t want to get any parking tickets,” one of the guards said.

Wow, these guys must be poorly paid if they don’t want to assist me. Not that I will need it, but its the thought that counts.

“Right, parking tickets. See how that works out for you.”

He slammed the door and heard the voice of one of them call, “Good luck!”

Too little, too late, guys.

It was a cloudy, slightly dreary day. Hef felt a slight chill in the air, promising something dark and foreboding. He heard a cheerful melody play and realized that his phone was ringing.

He sighed, taking his phone out of his pocket. A woman’s tone greeted him and he was surprised by how young she sounded.

“Hey, Leon, is it? My name is Ingrid Hunnigan. I will be your support for this mission.”

She sounded quite easy-going, and friendly with an air of professionalism about her. She must have been new or recently hired. He would have remembered someone like her otherwise.

As he looked at his phone, a picture of a woman appeared on the screen. She had an air of business about her and looked really young. He forgot that the phone’s video conferencing had a slight delay in activation.

“Somehow, I thought you would be a little older. So, the target’s name is Ashley Graham, right?”

The picture of Hunnigan nodded and smiled, pleased that Leon didn’t have to ask too many questions.  “Correct. She is the daughter of the President, so try to behave yourself.”

He scoffed, but otherwise held his tongue. He figured that she assumed he didn’t know anything. She could have been telling a joke, but he seriously doubted that.

“Well, as fun as this conversation is, I have to get going. I will tell you more when I learn of it.” He would have said more, but a chilling trio of screams cut through the air. They sounded like younger girls.

“What the hell was that, Leon?! You couldn’t have found Ashley already! We would have done it ourselves if it was that easy.”

“I heard some screaming from what looks like a house in the distance. Who would live in the middle of nowhere like this?”

“Well, keep me posted on what happens, and try not to die!”

Leon saluted and disconnected his phone.

He knew that Ashley was kidnapped by an unknown organization. The scary thing was, it happened seemingly at random. It would have been one thing to have happened in the States. But no, it happened all the way out here in Spain.

He took out his handgun and held it in the designated “ready” position his superiors trained him to use. He couldn’t count how many times,this saved him during the Raccoon City Incident, though back then, he wasn’t as calm, cool and collected as he was now.

The screams grew more and more desperate and he picked up his pace. One thing he never forgot about Raccoon City was the short-lived life of any survivors he did happen to find. They usually died as they ran away from him. Other times, he came upon a helpless victim. If there was a slight chance he could save these three and keep them alive, he could call it a good day.

Soon, the entrance rushed up to meet him. He heroically entered the building, wishing someone could have witnessed how awesome he looked then. He turned a corner, and his arm drooped a little in shock at what greeted him. Ponies! Three terrified, technicolor ponies were shivering as they dodged a madman with an ax. The guy was muttering something in Spanish and seemed determined to cut them up.

As weird as all this was for the seasoned former cop, he knew they couldn’t defend themselves on their own.

“Freeze! I have you surrounded!”

The three ponies looked at him in shock for a moment, their eyes on his gun. They face-hooved at the same time, looking embarrassed.

“Yeah, I know that sucked, but I needed to to say something heroic. It was the only thing I could think of at the time.”

The man, whoever he was, paused when Leon entered the room. He glared at the new arrival who gave a sheepish grin. “I don’t suppose you have seen this girl, have you?” He held up a picture of Ashley, hoping that this man had seen her.

No dice there! The man brandished his ax and started to walk menacingly toward Leon. He was faster than the average zombie and seemed to posses enough brain cells to carry and brandish a weapon. But, who was he to judge? Maybe zombies would evolve to be able to carry and use weapons one of these days. God forbid that should ever happen!

“Freeze! I won’t tell you again! If you move a step closer, I will have to force you to go away!”

Did anyone ever listen to him? The man continued to hold out his ax and persevered despite having a deadly weapon trained on him. Or, at least, as deadly as you can get with a measly handgun that was.

He remained calm anyway. Maybe he just didn’t want trespassers. He did trespass after all. While a very noble cause, it was sadly untrue, as the crazed man took a swing at Leon. He had to dodge at the last minute, not expecting to be attacked that close.

He had to move to get in position, and aim.

BANG!

A small, fair-sized hole appeared in the man’s head. To Leon’s shock, the man just flinched away from him, holding his head, crimson liquid gushing out of his skull. He noticed some yellow mixed in with the red, but he didn’t pay much attention to it.

“Just what the heck are you?! Nobody but Superman can survive a bullet to the face! You will be letting down a lot of nerds everywhere if this was the case.”

When the crazy recovered enough, he took a tighter grip on his ax.

“Why is it never easy? Why can’t you die the first time? Is it so much to ask for you to just die already?!”

With these heroic words, Leon roundhouse-kicked the man, inadvertently causing his head to explode and sending brains everywhere. Fluids dripped down from the ceiling, and the walls were painted with red and yellow.

“We could have done this the easy way, but you insisted upon being annoying!”

He then remembered why he was there and stared at the ponies. For what seemed like five minutes, both parties stared at one another. Finally, it was the ponies that spoke first.

“Thanks mister, that guy jus’ started ta attack us. Ah know we popped inta his house, but we were goin’ ta leave anyway. He didn’t have ta attack us like that.”

A bow-wearing filly (she looked quite young) said this, and Leon did what any rational, sane human being would do upon coming across a talking pony. He freaked out.  “Holy hell! You talked to me, and you are a pony! A living, talking pony that talks!”

“Why is everypony insistent on using redundant words today? We can talk. Why should that be a problem? Everything is capable of speech!” A purple horned filly spoke these words. In all of Leon’s wild childhood fantasies. He never thought he would see a real unicorn. He liked fantasy as much as the next guy, but to come face-to-face with your fantasies was a bit much.

He noticed that each of them--or at least two of them--were based on mythical creatures from fantasy settings. He recognized the winged pegasus due to the bird-like wings. They seemed to be a bit small for her, and decided to not mention that.

“I challenge you to come across something you didn’t know existed and keep a level head. I just saved your life. The least you can do is act grateful.”

The bow-wearing one continued to stare at him. Then, a smile lit across her face. “It is a fair point. We started off on the wrong hoof here! Ma name is Apple Bloom! Girls, why don’t y’all introduce yourselves?”

So these ponies were capable of intelligent conversation? This was a new one in his books. He truly hoped he wasn’t losing his mind. He needed his sanity to protect the President’s family. He also noticed that each of them--the ones that spoke anyway--had various accents he was familiar with. Apple Bloom had a southern accent, the unicorn had a slightly fancy accent if one strained one’s ears. He had no idea about the pegasus.

“I am Sweetie Belle, and the silent one over there is Scootaloo. We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

Ah, so they each had names. They seemed friendly enough. He had seen weirder things in his life.

He still seemed unsure of what to do, so they hung around in awkward silence for awhile. Scootaloo, eventually grew bored of the silence and decided to speed things along a little. “Aren’t you going to tell us your name?”

The way she took charge like that impressed him.

“My name is Leon Kennedy, and I am on a mission to help the President’s kidnapped daughter. Since I usually don’t see colorful ponies in my daily routine, I can assume you three aren’t from around here.”

“You’re right Mr. Kennedy. We aren’t from around here. We are actually from the land of Equestria! I bet my sister is worried sick about me.” Sweetie Belle replied to his announcement, but he hated the formalities. Civilians, even non-human ones such as these, didn’t deserve to treat him with the respect his position deserved.

In short, he hated formalities. He never heard of Equestria, and assumed it was a different region or something. They had unicorns there, so maybe it was magical like that. “Where exactly is Equestria?” He was not the first to ask this question. He had no idea they existed, so he assumed he was the only one.

The ponies shrugged in unison. They had no idea, so he was alone on that point. Finally, Scootaloo decided to speak up again. “Who is this ‘Ashley’ you are looking for? We are always glad to help! Maybe we will even get a Cutie Mark for it.”

Leon had no earthly idea what a Cutie Mark was, but he decided to just answer the question as best as he could. “Ashley is the daughter of the man who hired me to find her. Seems kind of a weird intro, I know, but he happens to be the President of the United States. That is a country in America, where I happen to be a resident. When his daughter was kidnapped by an unknown organization, he grew frantic with worry. To make a rather dull and pointless story short, he hired me to find her. I had just been hired to watch over his family. I had seen Ashley around a few times, but never really paid much attention to her. I hope that wherever they have her, she is at least doing alright. I had only just arrived here, when I heard you three screaming,  and I think you know how the rest goes.”

They stared at him for awhile, before shrugging.

“Ah don’t know half o’ what ya said. It’s nice o’ ya ta actually go lookin’ fer her. Maybe we can help ya.” Apple Bloom, ever the helpful one, decided to tag along and hoped her friends would stay behind to keep her company. Judging by the initial welcome they had received upon arrival, it was probably a good idea to stick together.

“Hey yeah, we can be Cutie Mark Crusader Damsel Savers!” Scootaloo was the one to offer this suggestion. Sweetie had no idea where she heard the word “damsel,”, but decided to not push the issue.

“Sounds good to me, but it is really up to Mr. Kennedy here!”

To Leon’s horror, they began to stare at him with the widest and most evil puppy-dog eyes in existence. Sweetie Belle twisted the proverbial knife in his chest and looked at him as if he had just kicked her and dumped her in the mud. He felt an unexplained sensation of dread over his soul. Sweetie’s use of his formal name, combined with the cutest expression in the world, was enough to shatter what resistance he had left to call his own.

If he said no, he would be sent to the deepest pit of hell. Damn these confounded ponies! “If you stop those expressions, I will say yes! Just, please, never do it again. I can only take so much in my life.”

They cheered. At that moment, he heard his blasted phone ringing again. He dug his phone out and was pleased to see Hunnigan’s name on his screen. He agreed to the call and saw her slightly concerned face stare back at him.

“Is everything okay? Did you manage to save the civilians?”

“Good to see you too! Yes, I managed to save them. You wouldn’t believe who and what they are though! Mostly what. The “who” doesn’t really matter that much. I also had to put down a hostile local who wouldn’t let us leave peacefully. I didn’t want to, but I would have made very close friends with his lovely ax.”

“Well, I am glad you have made yourself useful in any sense. Don’t keep me in suspense. Who are they? Better yet, just show them the camera built into your phone. It isn’t everyday you see civilians in the middle of nowhere.”

Despite the clear order, Leon still hesitated a little to show Hunnigan he saved a trio of talking ponies. He was obviously going crazy and didn’t want to drag her down with him. If he was going to go down, he was going down alone and bitter.

“Mr. Kennedy saved us from a crazy monster thing. It tried to kill us, but he charged in and kicked the shit out of it.” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both gasped, and Leon’s brain shut down upon hearing Scootaloo curse like that.

Hunnigan had a distant look on her face, and she seemed to be struggling to speak.

“Leon, what are the names of those you saved? I have a very eerie feeling I know them. I heard that voice before.”

Giving Hunnigan a strange look and looking at his companions for help in what to do, he complied. “Their names are Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. I managed to save them from the hostile I had to neutralize.”

Hunnigan’s attitude changed completely in that moment. She went from calm and collected to something similar of a fangirl.

“Oh my gosh, I absolutely love that show! I got into it just the other day at one in the morning! Such a funny, true-to-life show. You are totally serious, aren’t you?! I heard their voices and, despite this being clearly unreal, is actually happening! Why are you so lucky??”

Silence greeted her rant. Leon and the Crusaders stared at Hunnigan. Well, Leon stared at Hunnigan, the Crusaders stared at the phone. Finally, Leon dared to break the silence.

“Hunnigan, what the hell are you talking about?”

“You mean you don’t know? Everyone in the department keeps talking about it! Where have you been all this time--under a rock?!”

“Lady, what the hell are you talking about?!” Never in her life had Scootaloo uttered such language. This was traumatizing her friends a little.

Hunnigan sighed dejectedly. “Leon, get out of your current location and head towards the village. Take whatever measures necessary to save the subject. Protect the Crusaders at all costs!”

Hunnigan disconnected, leaving Leon alone and totally confused. Something chilled him just then. How did Hunnigan know about the Crusaders? He was pretty sure that his phone wasn’t bugged.

“We should search this place, maybe we can find some loose ammo or something.” He wouldn’t tell the Crusaders about Hunnigan’s supposed knowledge of them. He realized that they still didn’t move and were staring at him. Was he supposed to have done something?

“What exactly is ammo, and what is that thing you have in your hand?” Sweetie had an expression of utmost innocence.

It was the dreaded question that all officers at one point had to go through at least once in their careers. He hated it with every ounce of his being: explaining to children what he had to do for a living.

“You are a little young for something like that. I wouldn’t want your sisters to know that I explained something so dangerous.” As predicted, they didn’t like that answer. Unlike normal children, they didn’t let it go.

“We know it is something dangerous since Uncle Creepy is no longer with us. He isn’t moving, and his insides are now outside.” Leon didn’t like Scootaloo’s happy expression as she replied to his rejections.

He felt horrible. They knew he was dead and wouldn’t be bothering anyone anytime soon.  “First, we should split up and search this house for any bullets. It will make life a little easier, should we chance upon any more of those things. There should also be some money around here as well. We will deal with weapon handouts at a later time.”

The entire time searching was spent in silence. He didn’t know what else to talk about, and he was still trying to recover from nearly having an ax to the face. He hoped that wherever Ashley was, she was doing alright.

Chapter 1-1: Problematic Occurrences

Luck must have been on the Crusaders’ side. They managed to find a lot of money, fifty bullets for his handgun, and, for some reason, a lottery ticket. What the hell was this guy doing with a lottery ticket? Idly, Leon wondered if it was the winning one. He looted through the dead crazy’s house like a pair of rabid raccoons searching for food.

Apple Bloom found a rocket launcher under the guy’s shitty bed upstairs behind a secret compartment in the walls. She eyed it like Pinkie Pie would with the last candy bar. Before this moment could escalate to troublesome proportions, Leon attached it to his back and told her that such things were dangerous. He neglected to mention that he would be the one to use it. If someone was going to kill themselves doing stupid things, it would be him.

Finally, the house turned up fruitless in its secrets, and they were finally ready to continue the search for Ashley. The grand total, after making a few calculations, converting the local and assumed currency, was five thousand PTAS. He doubted he would have found as much on his own. Just before reaching the door, a chilling sound echoed throughout the area.

Leon recognized the sound of an engine, and it started immediately. He ran to the window and searched for where it originated from. He saw a dilapidated truck speed back toward the way he came. With a sudden spike of horror, he realized that his ride to this location was parked toward the bridge.

He ran over to the door, ignoring the Crusader’s questions. He threw open the door and felt his blood chill. The truck crashed into the parked police car and, using the momentum, forced both the victims and their own car over the cliff.

He wanted to go over their to see if there were any other survivors, but several people quickly surrounded them. He realized it was a trap--the truck was used to lure them out from the only shelter. He really didn’t want anything bad to happen to his new charges.

He didn’t have long to wait. One guy charged the ponies. It didn’t look like he was surprised to see talking ponies, and that worried him. He aimed his pitiful handgun at the offending target, shouting,“Get away from her, you bitch!”

The target stared at Leon for a moment, and attacked anyway.

He dodged a grab and aimed a kick at the poor soul’s stomach, sending him flying. More crazies popped up, seemingly from nowhere. They were quickly surrounded, and Leon cursed his stupidity. He barely got a chance to even do anything, and now he was surrounded by a bunch of freaks.

He stared around his immediate surroundings, trying to spot something that might aid him in this unfair fight. He looked at the Crusaders, hoping that they had any suggestions or helpful input. He spotted Apple Bloom giving him the stare meant for idiots. She was staring at something behind his back.

If he had the time to facepalm, he would have. He reached around and grabbed the launcher from behind his back. He fumbled a bit with the weapon.. Would they ever get a break from being attacked, or would they be fighting like this constantly?

“You might want to get behind me. I am about to launch a dangerous weapon at them, and it would really dampen my day if you got caught in the crossfire.”

Instantly, he felt the Crusaders grab onto his back leg. He found the gesture strangely endearing, but didn’t really have the time to focus on it. He aimed at the nearest crazy, making sure he wouldn’t miss.

A whooshing noise greeted his ears and an explosion shook everything violently. He watched in detached awe  as bodies exploded into a mess of red goo. It covered both him and Crusaders. Apple Bloom and Sweetie both shrieked as the gore splattered all over their fur. They spent several moments struggling (mostly in vain) to rid it from their mane and coats.

Scootaloo was strangely calm about being drenched in blood. “Can we do that again, Mr. Kennedy?” Bits of gore dribbled a bit down her muzzle. She wiped it idly away and continued to beg.

Why was she not freaking out, like the rest of her friends? Well, mostly the unicorn was freaking out. Scootaloo didn’t bother to clean her coat, other than scrubbing off anything that covered her eyes.

“There don’t appear to be any other enemies around, and even if there were, I can’t allow you to witness something like that again.”

She sighed rather dejectedly. He really didn’t like the enthusiasm she had.

“If I had magic, I probably could have cleaned myself off a little quicker. That was really scary, and I hope that is the last we see of any of them. This stuff sure beats tree sap!” Sweetie didn’t sound very thrilled about the situation.

“Come on, we might as well continue on our journey. There is nothing we can do for those poor souls. Maybe we can find Ashley in the village somewhere.”

Scootaloo was first in line after Leon. She danced and bounced like a caffeinated Pinkie Pie. Second in line was Apple Bloom, who kept quiet. Sweetie brought up the rear. She whimpered occasionally, limited to nods if asked a quiet question from Apple Bloom.

“Mom would have thought you looked so cool aiming that thing at the imposing army! The way they learned the hard way not to mess with you is so awesome.” Scootaloo then grew sad for the first time since the explosion. “I wish Mom was here!”

She stopped her bouncing and seemed to droop. The transition from happy to sad was downright alarming, and Leon didn’t know what to do. Luckily, he didn’t have to make a decision, because Apple Bloom reacted quickly.

“Hey, sugarcube, it will be alright. We will make it outta this. Dash needs ya ta be strong. Ah promise ya, we will get outta this.”

Scootaloo sniffled and hugged her friend, while Leon and Sweetie looked on.

“Thanks, Apple Bloom. Ever since Dash saved me from that hellhole, I can’t seem to stay away for long.” She would have said more here, but a whimper interrupted her admission.

Sweetie perked up out of her self-imposed depression. “That sounds like an animal in pain.”

She ran ahead, ignoring Leon’s shouts to come back. Not wanting anything bad to happen to her, Leon decided to hurry his charges after the surprisingly-fast unicorn.

They found her not too far from a small cabin. She was hovering over what seemed to be a dog, specifically a Husky. It could have been a wolf, but Leon wasn’t an expert on dogs--other than Cerberus, which didn’t count, anyway.

The dog was whimpering, its hind left leg trapped in what appeared to be a bear trap. Blood from one wound dripped down its leg. Apple Bloom was convulsing slightly from witnessing the blood again, not too long after the explosion.

“Leon, we have ta rescue the poor thing! Ah don’t think Ah can willingly walk away afta seein’ somethin’ like this.” The bow-wearing filly was practically crying after seeing the dog’s distress.

Leon bent over the dog. The dog looked at him strangely, making Leon feel slightly odd. Deciding to relax the dog, he scratched it’s ears a little, hoping it soothed the pain. Body relaxing slightly, the dog eased some of its tension. He examined the trap and noticed that the blades of the trap were lodged a little in the poor thing’s leg.

“This will hurt a little, boy. Just don’t bite me, and I promise I will get you out of here.” He could have sworn the dog seemed to nod in response. He could hear the various whimpers of the Crusaders behind him as he gripped the teeth still lodged tightly in the dog’s leg. The dog shook slightly, but didn’t react otherwise.

He pulled a little on the sides of the trap and heard the teeth slowly exiting the wound. The dog’s shaking grew violent, though he didn’t bite or growl. Finally, the leg slid out, freeing the dog. He whimpered and shook itself off. The animal gave a look of thanks to Leon before running off to places unknown.

“Thanks Leon. Ah couldn’t have handled the guilt o’ passin’ up any creature in distress. What the hay is a bear trap doin’ in a place where any animal could walk in it?”

This wasn’t a question he wanted to answer. If they lived in a world where death wasn’t an ongoing occurrence, then he didn’t want to have to explain it.

He turned to Apple Bloom and decided on a half-truth. “Some people are just careless when it comes to leaving out their tools.”

She stared at him for a few minutes, trying to determine if he was telling her the truth. “That is a trap, isn't it? We sometimes use ‘em ta catch pesky varmints that keep stealing our apples on the farm.”

Shit. She was a farmer who had a crop to protect from certain creatures. He really didn’t want to corrupt them further than he already had with the launcher.

Apple Bloom said, “We may be young, but we aren’t stupid. This isn’t the first time we saw blood. Some o’ our crusades can be a touch painful. Scootaloo ova there seems ta like breakin’ bones doin’ really dangerous things, an’ Ah’m no stranger ta painful things on the farm.”

Both Crusaders seemed to glare at Sweetie Belle.

“The only one who is hurt less is Sweetie Belle, who only gets tree sap dumped on her. So you see, Leon, we aren’t some naive foals that need every little thing toned down.” Scootaloo took over for Apple Bloom.

Now Leon felt a bit odd, getting a talk from a couple of fillies about his own protective censorship. Changing the subject, he remarked, “We should check that cabin and see if anything important is in it. Maybe we can find more money.”

The cabin was really quite small, and didn’t look like it was suitable for dwelling. A few shelves with wooden crates and a table with a typewriter were the only objects that Leon could see. Handgun ammo laid in peaceful wait near the typewriter.

“Leon, what is a typewriter doin’ in the middle o’ nowhere? Seems a funny place ta attempt ta write a novel o’ somethin’,” Apple Bloom asked.

“Apple Bloom, this is a special kind of typewriter. Some scientists believe that if you were to write in typewriters in weird places, you can be reborn at the brink of death.”

“That has ta be the most idiotic explanation that ya coulda given me.”

“It’s true though! If they are in places that they belong, then they are just ordinary, everyday objects. But in places that they don’t belong, such as bathrooms, they can return you to the land of the living.”

“That doesn’t make any sense! A typewriter capable o’ bringin’ the dead ta life is truly idiotic”

“Apple Bloom, you are a magical, talking pony, in a world where unicorns, fairies, and dragons live. You have no excuse to talk!”

“Ah guess that is a fair point. It just seemed a bit too much. Yer world seems ta be less magic-y than ours does.”

Leon wasn’t sure how to react to this point, so he turned his attention to the task at hand. He collected the ammo and broke the crates, finding 300 PTAS, some shotgun ammo, and, to his surprise, another lottery ticket. Where was the person that kept dropping all these lottery tickets?

After pocketing his findings, he returned to the typewriter. He felt Apple Bloom’s eyes on him, but chose not to comment.He wrote his location down and, upon finishing, left the old typewriter.

Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes. “That’s all ya did?! Ah thought ya had ta say a magic word o’ somethin’. How does writin’ the location help?”

“The magic involved in these typewriters needs your location. Upon your death, it will return you to the last place you were. I haven’t needed it, but I have seen it in action when a buddy of mine decided to write in one.”

“What happened ta him?”

“He was crushed by a giant boulder and recovered in the bathroom. Gave some poor woman a heart attack when he just showed up out of nowhere. Sometimes it doesn’t work, and you stay dead. It depends on how destroyed the body is. Even then, it doesn’t always work. It just depends on the situation.”

Apple Bloom chose not to comment after that, trying to recover from the shock of magic typewriters. Finally, Sweetie Belle, who was listening to this conversation, decided to add her two cents. “How did you figure all this out, anyway? You seem to be rather knowledgeable about this subject. How does witnessing your friend’s death give you all this experience?”

Leon stopped dead in his tracks. How did he know about all this? He always knew that you wrote in typewriters. It had been ingrained in his head since his time in Racoon City.

“I have absolutely no idea. It has always been ingrained in my mind to use them. Since I was an officer in Raccoon City, I found them all over the place. They were helpful. Again, I never seemed to need them.”

“What is Raccoon City? Sounds odd for a name.” Sweetie asked, looking interested.

“It is something that I don’t like to talk about. It was my first day on the force, and it was one hell of a first day.” He didn’t say anything else, and didn’t need to worry about any other probing questions. Apple Bloom seemed to leave him alone after that.

It was also where I met her. She also seems to stick in my mind more than it should. She died in my arms, confessing her love to me. She could have left me for dead, but she chose to save me. Even though she was a spy, she saved me. Could be because I saved her from Annette, but that woman works in mysterious ways.

“Hello? Equestria ta Leon! Come back ta us, Leon! We need ya ta lead!” Apple Bloom was kicking his leg.

He realized that he had zoned off thinking of the woman in the red dress. “Sorry, must have zoned out. Did I miss anything important?”

“We were just’ waiting’ for you to come out of la-la land. Got a bit boring, but we weren’t attacked or anything. What were you thinking about, anyway?” Scootaloo sounded bored, eager to move on. When he awakened out of his daydream, she perked up doubly so.

“Just my time in Raccoon City. Have you heard of zombies?”

“Sure! Sometimes, Mom got me watching the classics. I love ‘Nightmare Of The Dead’ the best. The way he just died in the elevator was kind of funny. I thought he was fucked before, but once he died, they just left him alone.”

Scootaloo was cursing again. Where had she learned such language? That movie sounded a lot like Dawn of the Dead, but Leon shrugged, ignoring the similarity. “Zombies are unfortunately real, Scootaloo. Long story short, they are the result of a secret government experiment. There were only a few survivors, but the entire town eventually was infested with the creatures. Movies tend to ease the world into horrible truths by filming the events. That movie is the first of many to capitalize on the zombie fad.”

Scootaloo looked intrigued, while the others didn’t look really happy with that fact. “So, zombies are real?! That is so awesome! I have to tell mom that I won our little debates.” She appeared to deflate again. “I hope I get to see her..”

“I promise you, Scootaloo, I will get you and your friends back home. Claire survived with my help, and I can get you back as well.”

“Who is Claire?”

“Claire Redfield was searching for her brother Chris. To make a long story short, we worked together to escape. She found a young girl named Sherry, who also ended up surviving. I don’t know what happened to Claire after that, but I hope she found Chris.”

“Was that who you were thinkin’ ‘bout, when ya were lost ta the world?” Apple Bloom was really insistent today, meddling in his life experiences.

He had no real problem bringing up Raccoon City, but it wasn’t a happy time for him. “No, I was thinking about another person I met during my time there. She died in my arms, and I am trying to figure her out. She turned out to be a spy trying to get a hold of a sample G virus. Yet, she saved me. I have no idea how to figure her out.”

The Crusaders had a look in their eyes he didn’t like at all. He had seen it before when his buddies decided to give him a hard time. Scootaloo exclaimed, “I think she likes you, Leon! This is so cool. Big Mac and Cheerilee didn’t work out, but maybe we can get a Cutie Mark in this.”

Before Leon could shoot this down, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle glared at Scootaloo, losing the gleam in their eyes. “It would be really hard ta set Leon up wit’ somepony dead, Scoots! Ponies tend ta not go fer that sort o’ thing.”

Apple Blooms words were wise, but Scootaloo was adamant. “Sometimes they do! I saw a weird book in Twilight’s library once. It was called ‘The Fetishes Of The World’. It had something called ‘necro-something’ in it. I had to put it down. It had really weird pictures in it. Most of the ponies in the book had really happy expressions in it.”

Silence followed after Scootaloo’s odd announcement. It was a little odd for Leon, but he chose to ignore it.

They were walking down a path that had nothing exciting to report. Soon, Leon noticed that four trees were at the bottom of a path. Wires hung in between two of them, and, nearby, another bear trap slept in hungry silence. “I think we should stop and think this part through. I don’t like the looks of those wires.”

“How bad can wires be? They don’t appear to do anything.” Scootaloo sounded annoyed at the holdup of wires.

“If you want a similar fate to the ‘launcher’ incident, you will stop walking forward and over to where I am.”

Scootaloo had been walking dangerously close to a wire, and at that last sentence, she stopped dead in her tracks. Sweetie looked close to crying, and Apple Bloom seemed scared.

When he was sure they were nowhere near the trip-wires, he thought of a way to solve this problem. Before he could, Scootaloo grabbed a nearby pebble and threw it at the closest trip-wire, causing it to explode. The explosion set off both bear traps.

After the loud bang and subsequent smoke cleared, Leon glared at her.

“Sorry, you were taking too long to figure it out. I wondered what happened if you threw a pebble at it,” Scootaloo explained nonchalantly.

Sighing, hoping this mission wouldn’t turn out harder than it needed to be, he chose to ignore Scootaloo’s dangerous choice.

A loud shout snapped their heads around, and Leon realized that Scootaloo’s choice also drew attention to him. He gripped his handgun, preparing for battle. Sure enough, another crazy appeared over a small hill and slowly made his way toward them. He had a small ax in his hand, sunlight reflecting off the head of it.

Leon took aim of his handgun and raised it up. He hoped to get a better shot in a little while. Before he could do anything, Scootaloo grinned in almost manic glee. “Yay, more excitement!”

She ran off before Leon or her friends could do anything other than stare. Scootaloo happily ran up to the Crazy like a child to a parent. She looked at him, and he looked at her. This simply continued for a few more seconds. She grinned widely when he chose that moment to swing at her with the ax.

“Oh, I can’t watch!” Sweetie squeaked in alarm.

Leon and Sweetie both looked away. Sweetie, because she didn’t want to see her friend get sliced, and Leon, because he wanted to put it out of his mind. He wasn’t responsible if he didn’t witness anything.

Apple Bloom chose to be with her friend till the very end, even if she was doing something completely stupid. So, she witnessed the incredible thing that happened next.

Scootaloo easily dodged the ax, looking quite bored. She jumped up to the crazy’s head and grabbed the ax right out of his hand with her forehoof when he swung a second time. “You need to learn how to use that better.”

She slashed at his shoulder violently, causing yellowish blood to gush from the wound. In desperation, he attempted to grab her and succeeded.

“You really aren’t all that bright if you forgot that I have your ax!”

She chopped his hands off, and grinned wickedly as he hobbled around a bit. Yellow blood gushed from his wounds. “Your second mistake was fighting me. Try to build up your moves a bit, and then we will talk! Oh wait, I forgot, you won’t get a second chance.”  She beheaded him with her axe, a happy smile on her face.

She lodged the axe in a nearby tree and turned to her friends. Apple Bloom mouth hung open, stunned at her friend’s level of badassery. Sweetie stood frozen, a look of awe on her face. Leon wore an expression somewhat between shock and awe.

Before her friends could speak, she announced in a bored monotone, “Can I have an actual challenge now? He barely fought. All he did was hobble around a bit!”

Silence greeted these words. No one knew what to say. Scootaloo had just fought a guy with an axe, and won with maximum ease. Leon had just seen a little pony kick the shit out of a guy!

Chapter 1-1: Unfair Fights

“Where did ya learn ta fight like that? Ya never fought like that before!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, still in shock as she still oogled Scootaloo.

The pegasus grinned nervously. “My aunt taught me. She knows some insane moves.”

“An’ who is this mysterious aunt? Ah doubt she would approve o’ this deadly killin’ stuff.”

Leon wondered if Apple Bloom was normally this nosy, or it was just because he was here.

“Lets’ just move on. I will tell you the story of my aunt, and everything at a later time.” She walked quickly down the rest of the path. Eventually, her friends decide to drop the subject and follow her.

They came across another cabin. This time, it was occupied. Leon could see a Crazy standing in the center, waiting for something. What did he do all day when no one was around?

Again, it was Scootaloo who decided to test her wits against the unfortunate soul. “Are you going to be a challenge? Your friend back there lacked in the skills department!” Scootaloo waited as the Crazy seemed to process her request.

“Ah can’t believe she is gonna fight again! She’s gonna get herself killed one o these days.” Apple Bloom’s words were angry, but her anger contradicted the concerned look she was giving her totally nuts friend.

After what seemed like a battle of the wits, the Crazy swung his knife, hoping to slice the pony who dared trespass on private property. Scootaloo gave a sad sigh and prepared herself for battle.

The Crazy yelled in pain and Leon and the Crusaders looked on, wincing, as they watched the poor guy get pummeled.

They heard the pegasus give a deranged giggle, and the sounds of something tearing.

“I am reasonably certain that you can’t do that with somepony’s arm,” replied Sweetie, looking slightly ill. “I am seriously worried about Scootaloo! She never acted this way on our crusades.”

Apple Bloom dodged a splash of blood, and glared at it as if it was responsible for her problems. Leon had to admit it; Scootaloo had some serious moves. Her work was sloppy though, having some amateurish aspect to it.

A scream pierced their ears, then a wet gurgle and silence. The cabin was soaked in blood. The brutalized body hung on the wall, a pole shoved into its stomach. The head was missing--explaining the wet gurgling noise. Scootaloo had a small grin on her face, surprisingly blood free.

They all remained silent for quite a while. Sweetie’s left eye had a faint twitch, and she was staring at Scootaloo with a little fear.

Apple Bloom was the first to break the awkward silence. “Ah guess we should stop callin’ ya a chicken, huh?”

“He struggled quite a bit, making it harder, but he eventually fell. Isn’t there anypony who can stand up to me?”

“Were you always this violent back home?” Leon had been bothered by Scootaloo’s violent tendencies, and he wondered if he was protecting a crazy pony.

“My aunt didn’t want me to use this technique to kill anypony. It got boring pretty fast, but I was able to withstand the temptation. Not a lot of crime happens in Equestria, and most of the time I am treated like a foal when anything fun happens. I guess being here allowed me to show off my skill.”

Sweetie nodded, everything making sense for her. Apple Bloom was giving Scootaloo an odd look, but Leon failed to realize the significance of said look. She was obviously feeling merciful, for she asked Scootaloo what had been on her mind.  “What ‘bout a Cutie Mark? Bein’ this awesome at kickin’ flank has ta be yer special talent.”

Scootaloo wilted, but quickly fought to gain a semblance of composure. “I-I never got a Cutie Mark for this.” She laughed nervously, “If I had a Cutie Mark, it would have shown up.”

Apple Bloom seemed to stare into her soul, analyzing, trying to pierce her friend’s defences. She looked at her friend’s flank as well. Leon just ignored this, pretending he wasn’t witnessing two fillies staring at each other’s asses. He also was aware of Scootaloo lying to her friend. Somehow, this Cutie Mark was some sort of sign that appeared on a pony's ass, eventually.

Scootaloo indeed lacked such a mark. Just how was it possible for her to show signs of lying, but have no mark? “We should probably get a move on. Ashley won’t save herself, and we are obviously on a tight schedule.” Scootaloo didn’t want anymore attention on her, and attempted to divert it away.

They started walking down the path. Leon still didn’t know the significance of this “Cutie Mark” business, and he intended to find out. As luck would have it, Apple Bloom seemed to replace Scootaloo in the front row.

“Apple Bloom, what exactly is a Cutie Mark?” he asked.

She perked up, the crisis with her friend momentarily forgotten.  “When a pony discovers what they’re good at, a special mark appears on their flank. The mission o’ the Cutie Mark Crusaders is ta discover our special talents.”

That explained part of it. He saw Scootaloo, who was talking to Sweetie Belle, frown slightly, and look down. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle might believe that her friend was telling the truth, but something was causing Scootaloo some grief. Apple Bloom spoke of a happy thing. For some odd reason, Scootaloo treated it as just the opposite. What was she hiding anyway?

Soon, an imposing door appeared, and for awhile they just stood there. The door wasn’t hurting anything, but this moment felt significant somehow. The air seemed to thicken around them.

“Are we just going to stand here staring at the door all day, or are we going to do something?” Scootaloo took charge of the moment and ran forward. She pushed slightly on the door, hoping she would have enough strength to open it. It groaned and creaked, but eventually slid open. She grinned triumphantly as she waited for the others to follow suit.

The path continued on, but soon they arrived at what appeared to be a small village. The inhabitants had the same disheveled look as the people they had fought recently. Leon deduced (rather cleverly) that these people were dangerous.

A small tune rang out and Leon hoped that the villagers didn’t notice the jingle. Hunnigan’s voice and picture appeared. “Leon, how are you holding up?”

He sighed. She had to ask that question, didn’t she? He was a bit on edge from nearly being killed and didn’t really want to deal with that question. “Bad question, Hunnigan.”

“Sorry to hear that. Are the Crusaders okay?”

He could see them staring at Leon’s phone, confused. When their gaze landed on him, he shrugged. He honestly had no idea how Hunnigan seemed to know about them. Since she wasn’t a hostile, he figured something else must be happening.

“They are all fine. We had a few close calls, but they are in relatively decent condition. Scootaloo is a bit of a badass and ripped apart a hostile, but otherwise, she is doing fine.”

This threw Hunnigan off for a bit. “Odd, that wasn’t in the show.” Her voice was a small mumble. Leon could just barely hear it. Just what the hell was she talking about?

“Hunnigan, what is going on? Why do you keep mentioning a show? This is the first time I saw these ponies. And, besides, show characters don’t tend to show up in the real world.”

A chill passed over his spine just then. He looked around, but noticed nothing out of the ordinary. It must have been his imagination.

“No time for questions. Ashley is still being held somewhere, and you need to look for her. If anything happens, then call me.” The call was then disconnected. Hunnigan had dodged his question. He felt annoyed at something being kept from him.

Leon said, “We might as well get a move on. Before we go further, I want to check something out. The village needs to be mapped out, and we need to find any suitable places to hide or avoid the Crazies.” He looked at all three of them, hoping that, this time, they would listen to them.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded their compliance. Scootaloo seemed to perk up. Leon really hated that overeager look in her eyes. The depression from earlier seemed to be forgotten. “How many ponies do you suppose are in this village?” the pegasus asked. Her grin was wide, and she was practically vibrating with enthusiasm.

Sweetie Belle looked at the people who were out and about. She shivered and replied, “Judging from how many are out and about, I can imagine that ten or twelve of them are prepared for us.”

This caused both Apple Bloom and Sweetie to shiver a little. Scootaloo, upon hearing her friend’s assessment, had a look similar to someone being told they won the lottery. Her happy grin seemed to stretch across her entire face. Pinkie Pie would have been displeased knowing that someone could surpass her happy energy.

“You better not start anything! You might be able to fight your way through them, but that still leaves us to fight whoever makes it past you. I don’t have that many bullets with me, and I don’t want to run out of them while we are fighting a mob,” Leon warned the brash Pegasus.

This did nothing to extinguish Scootaloo’s apparent manic happiness. However, she didn’t make any moves to draw attention to herself.

Leon brought out his binoculars and took position behind a small tree near the entrance of the village. He zoomed in once steady and looked around. The first thing that he saw was a fire burning in the middle of several villagers. At first, he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but then he focused on what was burning. He gasped. A body was burning! The skin, from what he could tell, was burnt and charred horribly. Only some of it was still recognizable.

He finally knew what had happened to one of the cops who drove him. It was the one who offered him a smoke earlier.

“Did you find anything?” Apple Bloom had snuck up behind him and asked him a question. He really didn’t want them to see the burning corpse in the fire. The fact that several of the villagers didn’t pay attention to it was downright alarming.

Before he could answer, he noticed several villagers pointing in their direction. Those closest to the entrance took out several sharp implements and began to walk slowly towards them. A few ran. These people were definitely not zombies.

“I did find something, Apple Bloom, but right now we have several really bad problems heading toward us! I neglected to find a lookout, but they must have had someone posted. They are on their way!”

Sweetie shrieked and huddled next to Apple Bloom, shivering violently. Leon readied his gun and prepared for the ongoing rush. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Scootaloo crouch, readying herself as well.

Leon shot the first villager in the face, watching in grim satisfaction as the head exploded. The second bullet just stunned the next one. Some heads were more fragile than others, apparently. He saw an orange blur race toward a mob of villagers, knocking some of them down and stomping violently on nearby heads.

Scootaloo turned to Leon after kicking some of the blood off her hoof. “Get Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle into that house over there! I will take care of them!” She was pointing at a small cabin with a conveniently opened door.

Leon didn’t immediately move. “Scootaloo, there are tons of villagers. You can’t fight off every last one of them!”

Several panicked shrieks came from her friends. Scootaloo ignored him and simply kicked at another villager from behind, causing him to stumble. She grabbed his pitchfork and rammed it through the guy’s chest.

“Just take them and go! I got this!”

She didn’t look panicked at all, a gleam in her eye. She was either really confident in her abilities or really stupid. Probably both. He didn’t have a lot of time to decide on the matter, as mobs of additional villagers made their presence known.

Leon grabbed Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle and took off for the cabin. Sweetie realized that Scootaloo wasn’t among the escape party and shrieked, “What about Scootaloo?!”

No answer from Leon. This was already hard enough.

Something snapped in the unicorn’s mind. She began wriggling in his grip. “We can’t just leave her!” Tears fell down her face. The wriggling continued. “Nopony gets left behind! We are the Crusaders!”

Leon’s heart broke as he listened to her sob. “She will be fine! Scootaloo is very brave and she won’t let us down.”

“She has been through so much. She can’t die here in the middle o’ nowhere!“ Apple Bloom, caught on to the seriousness of the situation, attempted to calm down her crying friend. She didn’t like Scootaloo fighting a mob of crazy ponies all on her own, but  didn’t get a say in the matter.

Once she was sure her friends were safely inside the cabin, Scootaloo turned to the horde of villagers and smirked confidently. She was in her element and knew that nopony, not even her aunt, could touch her. Her aunt was the second toughest pony outside the princesses. Constant praise over her increasing skill was enough of an ego stroke to keep her going.

Several sharp implements greeted her. Scootaloo saw several pitchforks, a knife, and one guy with a chair leg in his grip. This was going to be so much fun! “So, are you all just going to stand there and admire the gorgeous scenery, or are you guys going to do something?!”

That did it. Villagers in groups of two and three rushed her. It seemed that these guys had slightly higher brain function then when they were on their own. They knew enough to team up. This wouldn’t help anything, though.

Hearing a villager sneak up behind her, Scootaloo grinned slightly and whirled around, grabbing the unfortunate soul’s weapon. She squealed happily when she discovered it was a knife. “You got a knife for me?! You really shouldn’t have.”

The villager gave her a brief, confused look as he realized he no longer had a weapon, before he was slashed violently across his throat. Unlike the last time she committed a violent act, Scootaloo wasn’t spared blood splatter this time. His throat was torn apart and hung on a barely-working flap of skin. She bucked him in the chest so she wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore.

Scootaloo was greeted with a weak punch from one of them. She spun around, anger on her muzzle. “You just punched me! How could you have dared to do such a thing?! I will end you!” She struck the knife deep into an eye socket and slashed horizontally across. She had been aiming for the head, but she could work with this.

The villager howled with agony befitting a horrible wound. She proceeded to trample him into dust, leaving her hooves splattered with gore. She wiped them off on the dusty road.

Blood fell quickly as several more villagers were dealt with. Most of them were torn apart simply for being in Scootaloo’s personal space. She wanted to spend some personal time decorating them, but fighting for one’s life tended to give you priorities. Heads were shredded with some of the blood feeding the active fire.

Even though she was making a huge dent in the enemy forces, Scootaloo never found herself alone. Villagers seemed to come out of the woodwork, and she didn’t seem to have the chance to catch her breath. Finally, a whistle echoed throughout the village.

Villagers halted in their tracks, not bothering to attack. They soon surrounded the cabin where her friends hid. No one entered though. So, they were preventing her from entering? Why would they do that?

A chubby villager entered the blockade. He had what seemed to be a potato sack on his head. Where was this going? Scootaloo took this moment to catch her breath. She was covered in crimson, with yellow mixed in. The chubby village strolled casually through the blockade and stopped not too far away from her.

He had a strange device in his hand--a long, circular blade attached to a box. The sack stared at her coldly as his dirty fingers gripped a string and pulled. A very loud, very terrifying noise greeted her ears.

Soon, he began to run toward her, with the device revved and fully ready to taste her blood. She stared at the knife in her forehoof. This wasn’t going to work out very well.

The villager with the strange weapon slashed at the unfortunate souls in his path. Their bodies were torn apart instantly, blood spraying the ground.

This really wasn’t going to turn out well.

She couldn’t get close enough without getting in the way of that strange device. She narrowly avoided being sliced by jumping back, but this guy just slashed again, intent on striking her. She spent the next few moments dodging his wild swings. She hadn’t tossed away her knife yet, but she didn’t see how she could get a few swings in. This guy was really fast.

Her pattern consisted of some very close dodges, leaving her barely enough time to recover. He wasn’t giving her a chance to get an attack in. Scootaloo was slowing down, much as she hated to admit it. It wouldn’t take long at this rate for her to eventually get in the path of that sharp engine.

A wild swing from his weapon finally got lucky, biting into Scootaloo’s forehoof. She yelled in pain, part of her hoof shredded. She collapsed, cradling her injury. She was bleeding quite badly, and she couldn’t move very well due to the pain.

Before she could delve deeper into her melancholy defeat, a strange sort of hook flew through the air, colliding with the device in the creep’s arms, causing him to drop it. It dropped at the guy’s feet, but stayed turned on. The guy with the potato sack on his head stared at his dropped weapon at the same time Scootaloo realized that it was on the ground.

Struggling to ignore her pain, she threw herself at the device. Soon, a fight broke out for possession of the weapon. He aimed a few devastating punches at her, but Scootaloo dodged effectively. Despite not having his weapon, he was still a formidable foe and prevented her from reaching it.

She again got punched, not as quick to dodge this time. The pain of her wounds, pure exhaustion, and adrenaline was a lot for Scootaloo to handle. She didn’t give up there, however, and ran into the creep as he reached for his weapon.

He stumbled from her tackle, struggling to his feet, but realized that it was already too late for him. She glared at him, his weapon in her forehooves.

“Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!” she screamed, slashing at him with his own weapon. She slashed and slashed, screaming from utter fear and intense rage.

The pain in her forehoof finally overtook her, and Scootaloo fell to the ground. She saw a figure in a red dress salute her as she went into a building, before exhaustion finally turned into darkness.

Chapter 1-1: Memories and Pain

“Is there a problem, officer?”

“There most certainly is, Miss Dash. That filly there needs to come down to the station.”

“You can’t seriously believe that she would do something like this! She is a child!”

“She was found drenched in blood!”

“Fuck that! She had no weapon. I read enough books to know that some of the ponies being accused usually have a weapon when found!”

“It is enough that we found her nearby and covered in blood. She had it all over her hooves.”

“Are you listening to yourself? There is no fucking way that Scootaloo would do this to her own parent!. Blood is everywhere, and their Celestia-damned heads are on spikes. How the hell would she manage to do all this?”

Sounds of crying and sniffling filled the room.

“Even somepony such as you can understand that we need to have her side of things. Then we can find somepony to take her in, possibly watch her.”

“Scootaloo, honey, it will be okay. Please get away from them. You will get even bloodier.”

“I can’t leave them. They need me.”

“Did you happen to see anything?”

“You have some nerve questioning her like that.”

“Will you please let me do my job? You aren’t helping...”

“Dash, I did see something odd, but I don’t think it was that important.” She sniffed. “Just before leaving to the train with you, I saw a bright light hovering around my parents.”

“How does that help?”

“Shut the fuck up! She saw something important.”

“You have some nerve using that kind of language to me! She is upset and hallucinated some bright light. You are my closest friend, Dash, but you can’t keep yelling at me. It would look suspicious.”

“All you care about is your reputation, Warrant! Not everything is set by evidence. She just saw her parents massacred! You don’t expect a child to try to wake her parents. She saw something worthwhile in that light over her parents.”

“I always see bright flashes of light over ponies. Just yesterday...” She sobbed, “I saw Fluttershy in line for some food near the grocery stand.”

“I remember Fluttershy during that time as well, she came home really happy, saying she ran into a friend from back at Flight Camp. Said she lost contact with her. That was a really happy occurrence.”

“This is a waste of time. She doesn’t know anything, Dash. I need her to come down to the station. Seeing a bright light over ponies doesn’t mean anything. You know the protocol, judging by how many times I had to bail your ass out of trouble.

“I won’t let you put her in an uncaring orphanage! The closest one is out of Ponyville, and she has her friends here. She didn’t do this to her parents. I have absolutely no reason to believe she is capable of inflicting this kind of brutality on another pony. The message is really out of character as well. Why would she write, ‘They all deserve to die!’ on the wall in their blood?”

“Killers sometimes start young. Was she alone at all before you found her?”

“She had something to do at home. She had to tell her parents that she was spending the night in my cloud home. I decided to head over to her parents and talk to them myself. I thought it would be better if I was with her, rather than some ghost that wanted things.”

“I was able to fly very fast, and she would have had a two-second time frame to even remotely kill her parents, write the message on the wall, and ritualistically butcher the bodies. Even the worst killers in the world can’t kill someone in two seconds and set them up like that. Even unicorns take some time.”

“I see. What was she doing when you found her?”

“How would you react if you found your parents like this? Why do you have to ask stupid, pointless questions? Can’t you use common sense and remember that I already answered that question?!”

“It is called ‘interrogation,’ Miss Dash. I have to get the whole side of things.”

“What is going to happen to me? I don’t want to leave Ponyville, or my friends.”

“You can stay with me and alternate with Flutters and me. She can watch you while I am training.”

“Fluttershy, is it? Didn’t her mother marry your father?”

“Not at first. Both of our parents were married before the divorce happened. Dad was always shy and his first wife didn’t like that too much. Fluttershy's mother was always outgoing and friendly. Eventually, they married. Fluttershy is the greatest step-sister ever. What does this have to do with murder?”

“Are you qualified to raise a daughter?”

“How hard can it be? I always liked the squirt.”

“An attitude like that isn’t really responsible for raising a daughter.”

“I don’t care! I am not having somepony else raise her. They won’t know how to reach out to her like I can. Her parents loved me. I spent more time at their house then my own. I was practically a member of the family. Shame this had to happen.”

“Just come down to the station. She will make a statement, and we will investigate the scene. Unless we find anything, she can stay with you.”

“Thanks, Warrant! I really appreciate this. Sorry I blew up at you.”

“It wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t have to argue with you. Just look after the kid.”

“I will. I hate it when you call me Miss Dash, though.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

She was floating in darkness. The fading touch of the memory left her. That was the worst moment in her life, but it had ended with Dash as a mother of sorts. A friend of Dash’s had interrogated her, but Dash kept arguing with him. It was incredibly lucky she wasn’t charged with arguing and using harsh language. It also must have helped that this was routine between the two, as she later discovered.

As the blackness continued to swirl around her, a warmth settled around her, but she couldn’t pinpoint the origin.

“Scootaloo, please wake up.”

She knew that voice, but couldn’t pinpoint the source. Maybe if she tried to float toward it, something would happen.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sweetie Belle rubbed her aching eyes. The fight between Scootaloo and that big monster concluded with one dead and the other passed out due to severe blood loss. Leon told the two worried Crusaders about the weapon called a chainsaw, and how she was insanely lucky to have survived. She recalled the moment leading up to her watching faithfully over her friend for a few hours now.

Throughout the battle, there were tears in the unicorn’s eyes and she refused to look away, afraid, that her friend would die. A shotgun was found on the second floor, and ammo in various barrels were added to the collection. While Leon  was searching, the two traumatized fillies kept watch at the window, refusing any distractions.

Upon victory, Leon and Apple Bloom ran outside, while Sweetie held the fort. She couldn’t bring herself to move. There were a few Crazies outside and they attempted to swarm the two defenders.

A short but intense battle commenced, as Leon shot anyone who dared approach. Apple Bloom  chose  to defend her friend. The farm filly winced as she noticed Scootaloo’s hoof was almost shredded from the blade’s deadly kiss. Blood was pumping out at an alarming rate, worrying her.

A thick group of villagers surrounded the two at that moment. They seemed to sense the helpless situation and doubled their efforts.

“Get back from her, ya mangy varmints! Ah won’t let y’all touch her!” Apple Bloom’s words rang out in defiance as the villagers surrounded the two heroes.

Many of the snarling faces carried with them a perverse pleasure in the immense victory. Leon finally backed up against the unconscious Scootaloo. Her hoof was bleeding badly and she seemed to groan in pain, but still remained blissfully unaware of her immediate doom.

“I hate to say it, but we are pretty sandwiched right now! I won’t give up though,” he exclaimed. Before the villagers could really harass them any further, a loud ringing echoed throughout the area. Leon and Apple Bloom didn’t expect something simple like a bell ringing to stop anyone, but soon various implements dropped to their feet.

They stared off into space before walking past Leon and Apple Bloom, brushing past them and seemingly ignoring all traces of them.

Leon attempted to run after them, but realized that he was out of their mind.

“Where is everypony goin’, Bingo?” Apple Bloom asked. He shrugged, before realizing that Scootaloo was out cold. He ran back to her, noticing Apple Bloom huddled near her bleeding friend. She had a few tears in her eyes as she regarded Leon with wide eyes.

“She’s gonna be okay, right? We aren’t gonna lose anypony an’ everypony is gonna make it back ta Equestria.” To see a normally happy and somewhat tough filly break down was an odd sight..

“I have a few First Aid Sprays that should clean the wound and ensure her recovery. She just fought a chainsaw-wielding maniac and lived. Not a lot of people, or ponies, can say that. They don’t heal injuries this deep, but it should prevent her from blood loss. All she needs is proper care and she will be up and killing things in no time.”

Sweetie Belle remembered gasping when she saw the injuries up close and refused to leave her side. Even when Leon had to clean and spray the wound, she refused to look away.

“I am going to call Hunnigan and tell her about these crazy people. Will you be alright on your own for a little while?” Leon gave her a small grin as she nodded, stepping outside the cabin to make the call.

Apple Bloom paced nervously upstairs, eyeing a shotgun on the wall. Sweetie Belle huddled nearby her now-sleeping friend. Soon, she decided to place Scootaloo in her lap, leaning against a wall for support.

Sweetie’s next few hours were spent caressing Scootaloo’s body and humming a mindless tune. After the fourth hour, she lost herself in the task, enjoying being close to her daredevil friend.

“Scootaloo, please wake up. We need you. It just won’t be the same without you.” She sniffled a few times and continued in her mindless caressing. She always had a special place in her heart for the friend who saved her from Diamond’s bullying. That day didn’t improve her first day jitters in the best possible way.

Her friend had come to the rescue then. She remembered the pegasus arriving seemingly out of nowhere, and telling Diamond harshly where she could shove her attitude. The prissy pony didn’t like that too much and stomped off, mumbling vague threats.

This was a few weeks before they met Apple Bloom at that faithful cute-ceañera party. As would befit a heroic rescue from evil bullies, they became fast friends. In public, they were always together, whether it was sitting together, eating together, or having sleepovers at each other’s houses.

Sweetie smiled in nostalgic bliss as she remembered one night spent at Scootaloo’s house. Her mom and dad were so nice, asking if they needed anything and being really accommodating. When they were alone, the brash, no-nonsense filly was a completely different individual.

It was several hours before midnight, and Luna’s moon was high up in the sky, shining it’s golden beam into the room. Both fillies were in the same bed. Just before the lights went out, Sweetie was on a separate mattress, where she would keep up an appearance of being separated from her friend. Both Rarity and Scootaloo’s parents were very insistent on separate beds.

Because Scootaloo’s parents were mixed with a pegasus father, and Earth pony mother, they weren’t in Cloudsdale. Cloud Shine was very accommodating when he met Silver Breeze and decided to live on the ground. The reasons were vague, but one could assume that love made him change for her.

Once the lights were off and stories swapped, a ritual of unicorn and pegasus sharing the same bed started. Ever since that first slumber party, Sweetie revealed a fear of the dark. Normally Rarity would comfort the shaking filly, but Rarity wasn’t around and being in a new area at the time was very frightening.

It turns out that Scootaloo was kept awake due to Sweetie’s small whimpers of fear, at what appeared to be sinister shapes in the dark.

“Are you still awake, S.B.?”

The nickname was an endearing one that she would only use when separated from the prying eyes of the general public.

“I-I-I am perfectly f-f-f-f-f-f-fine. I don’t have a d-d d-d-dumb fear of the dark,” Sweetie replied, not sounding like it at all. If anypony could potentially witness this event, Scootaloo would have told Sweetie to stop being a foal and resume sleep. This, however, wasn’t a normal situation, and nopony but Luna’s moon knew what happened.

“Come on, S.B. I won’t let the nasty darkness get you. Why don’t you hop up here and we can shelter ourselves together?”

“But Scootaloo, it’s weird to sleep in the same bed. Your parents might catch us together.”

“It will be fine, S.B! My parents wake up early to go to work, and they won’t wake us up. I can see you are afraid, and it is my job to make sure nothing bad will ever happen to you.”

“The darkness is all around me, Scoots. What if it gets me? I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“S.B, why don’t you come to bed? I promise you, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I will even Pinkie Promise.”

“What’s that?”

“Pinkie is that crazy baker who lives close to the Boutique. She mentions all those weird things that make no sense. She comes up with this promise. A special kind of promise that is very sacred to those around her. You can never break a Pinkie Promise.”

“What happens if you do?”

“I actually don’t know. But when I asked her about it, she seemed to stare off into space. She mentioned something about how things can foreshadow disaster. She said that if I ever break a Pinkie Promise, something bad would happen to me.”

“That sounds horrible, Scoots!”

She had already curled up in the bed while Scootaloo was explaining the mysterious phenomenon that was Pinkie Pie. She settled her head against her friend’s chest. She was careful not to stab her best and only friend with her horn as she did so.

“Not many ponies break a Pinkie Promise. Those who do mention seeing pink everywhere and looking over their shoulder constantly. Pinkie is very crazy and freaks out some ponies.”

“So how does this thing work?”

“Well, she taught me the words.”

“Go on.”

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye, I promise I won’t let the darkness or anything bad happen to you.” Scootaloo made the motions with her hooves, causing her friend to giggle at the absurdity.

She cuddled up to her friend. Her best friend and hero who saved her from the evil clutches of Diamond Tiara.

“Thanks, Scoots!”

That was a happy moment in Sweetie’s life. Everything improved when they met Apple Bloom at the party and learned that they were not the only blank flanks in existence. Sweetie was always around her friends and they helped each other overcome life’s problems. Even when the crusades ended in failure, she always loved her friends.

Scootaloo’s twitched and groaned, jarring the unicorn out of her memories. The Pegasus groaned again when she realized the remaining ache in her shredded hoof.

“What happened? S.B, is that you?”

Sweetie giggled a bit at the use of the old nickname. The fact she was using it at all was testament to her grogginess. “Nice to see you in the land of the living, Scoots!” Her expression turned serious. “Don’t you dare scare me like that again! If you ever take on a freak with a chainsaw again, there will be severe consequences!”

This faux anger lasted five seconds at the most, instantly turning into a hug. “I was so worried about you.”

“So that’s what that thing was called. I will make a note of it.” Scootaloo giggled sleepily as Sweetie huffed in minor annoyance.

“SCOOTALOO! Yer awake! Don’t ya ever put yerself in danger again!” Apple Bloom’s anxiety-driven words came complete with a hug.

“I already gave her the talking down about putting herself in danger. She doesn’t need the  two of us yelling at her.” Sweetie smirked at Scootaloo, who rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

It was at this point that Leon decided to re-enter the house. He smiled a little when he noticed Scootaloo was awake and not unconscious.  “It’s wonderful to see you up and about, Scootaloo. How is your hoof doing?”

Detaching herself from Sweetie’s lap, (much to the disappointment of said unicorn) Scootaloo tested her injured hoof, making sure it could still support her weight. She winced a little as pain flared up.

“It hurts a little. I used to get painful injuries like this when I was training. That chainsaw thing really takes it out of you, apparently. I should be fine within a few hours though. Nothing can keep me down for long.” Her mouth twisted into a familiar grin, and Sweetie sighed upon seeing it. Some things never changed.

“Hunnigan, told us to look for an exit near a tower. I actually ended the call a few minutes ago, but I spent the last few minutes searching this village. I found 3,000 PTAS,  two lottery tickets, 500 bullets for my handgun, 50 shells for a shotgun, a few herbs, and what seem to be several valuable gems. We hit the payload in this village.”

“I saw a shotgun on the second floor, and will add that to the collection. Maybe we can find additional weapons down the road. The shotgun is an added treat from the mundane usage of my handgun. We should leave soon. This place gives me the willies.”

Once Leon retrieved said shotgun, the adventurers left their shelter. Sweetie and Apple Bloom made sure to help Scootaloo regain her balance, as her injury caused a noticeable limp. They came to said tower and turn left, down a small path, eventually arriving at another imposing door.

“We will be fine, y’all. All we have ta do is stick together an’ nothin’ can go wrong.” Apple Bloom’s words were met with a glare from Sweetie.

“Don’t you know that saying those words are a very bad idea? You should know from Twilight that saying those words cause bad things to happen!”

This escalated into a minor argument. Leon shoved open the doors and grimaced a little. What appeared to be a small farm greeted the four and Apple Bloom found herself cheered up slightly.

“This reminds me o’ home! Sure, it isn’t the happiest sight Ah’ve seen, but Ah feel a sense o’ rightness in the air upon seein’ it.” She readjusted the bow on her head, shivering a little as she stared at the run-down farm.

Nobody was in sight, which they found just a bit odd. The last several times, there were villagers going about their business. Here, there was not a single soul. Normally a happy occurrence, they instead found themselves wondering if they were heading into a trap.

A flash of something caught Leon’s attention, and he turned to stare at a tree. He realized a note was flapping in the wind, nailed down into the tree’s trunk.

Welcome all guests to the Merchant's Super Happy Fun Sale!

We have a plethora of wonderful things on sale for you, Stranger!

I am even selling a VERY useful item that will help all travelers in this nasty region!

All you have to do is bring me five lottery tickets and 200 PTAS and it will be yours.

For a bonus, bring me 15 medallions and an even bigger prize awaits you. Eight can be found in the Farm area, and seven in the Graveyard area.

This note will self-destruct upon anybody reading this.

“That’s a really odd note!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both rolled their eyes at Leon’s stating of the obvious.

“It didn’t self-destruct though,” Scootaloo remarked cleverly.

Five seconds later, the entire tree burst into flames, shocking everypony nearby. When the flames settled down, the sad husk of the tree remained. Everypony (and Leon) glared at Scootaloo, who grinned nervously.

“Lets just continue on our way and not worry about spontaneously combusting trees anymore,”

Leon said, trying to follow his own advice.

Over the next few minutes, Leon and his party looted the farm. Sure enough, they found various blue medallions hanging all over the place. Liking the idea of a bonus, he used his gun and aimed at the medallions, making sure to strike them down from the trees so he could pocket them.

Some handgun ammo, shotgun shells, and 600 PTAS were found around the area as well. Scootaloo noticed a shelf blocking the path inside one of the barns, and squeezed herself through it, finding a beer stein inside a crate.

Finally, they were ready to move on. A doorway near where Scootaloo found the beer stein marked the path to the next area. A sign near the doorway announced that they were leaving Pueblo Village. He finally learned what the village was called!

Once through the door, another sign made its home to the left of a hill leading downwards.

Heads up!

Nothing of any significance greeted them, but the sign gave a sense of foreboding to the three travelers.

“We should probably just ignore it. Maybe it’s a joke of some kind.” Sweetie shivered a little, underlying the point she was trying to make. No denials greeted these words and, thus, they started down the path.

It wasn’t long down the path that Scootaloo’s ears perked up on a noise. It sounded like gravel falling. A loud creaking noise soon greeted their ears and all four of them turned around with dread in their hearts.

They had five seconds of relative peace before a gigantic boulder fell down the path in front of them.

“Oh shit!” Scootaloo and Leon said at the exact same time. She attempted to run, but pain told her it was a bad idea.

It wasn’t long before Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle started to run, with Leon picking up the lead. He grabbed Scootaloo on the way down, who had made an attempt at hobbling down the hill. While the fillies and human were fast, the boulder was steadily gaining on them.

Leon  realized that if he didn’t do anything soon, his charges as well as himself would be crushed under that boulder. “Guys, we can’t outrun it. I can dodge it, but you will have to be with me!”

Instantly, the farm pony and the unicorn jumped into Leon’s arms, causing him to stumble a little. He recovered and waited a few moments for the boulder to catch up. Then, without warning, he dived quickly out of the way, jarring his passengers a little. He watched as the boulder rolled a little ways down the path before breaking apart into a wall.

As soon as the coast was clear, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo dropped to the ground. In Scootaloo’s case, she had to be careful to not upset her wound any further.

“That was really close. I really didn’t want to be crushed by that boulder! Thanks, Leon.” Sweetie curtsied a little, which Leon found a little humorous.

After everypony (and human) recovered from the shock of nearly being crushed, they quickly set off on the rest of their quest. Leon really didn’t like the amount of traps around the village and hoped that was the last of them.

A passage through a tunnel of sorts led them to an area filled with small buildings. Again, no villagers were found in this area, causing Leon to panic a little once more. One building had another tripwire, something he didn’t want to set off like the first time.

“We have to be really careful around here. There could be more bear traps around and they are really painful to get caught in. The dog from earlier can testify to that.” He chuckled a little at his bad joke. It was ignored. No weapons or goodies were found in this area, so they headed down a small hill, making sure to avoid anything nasty.

“I have a feeling we will find something neat inside that house,” Leon observed, staring at the house in front of him.

As Scootaloo followed behind Sweetie Belle, she looked around at the surroundings. They, despite being run down and rotten in some places, had an eerie sort of beauty.

SNAP

An exploding sense of agony shattered through Scootaloo’s hind hoof, ripping into the flesh. She screamed in pain, tears dripping down her face. Leon and the others kept right on going, seeming to ignore her.

What the hell was going on? How could they just walk off and not hear her screams? Once more, she attempted to escape from the bear trap that she stepped in. More pain rewarded her for her efforts. She looked down, seeing if she could inch her way out of this, and wished she hadn’t.

The teeth of the bear trap bit snugly into her flesh, greeting her in a perverse hug. Blood dripped down her hoof. She could see that it was fairly deep. She didn’t know how that dog was relatively calm about something of this magnitude. The pain was intense to say the least.

++++++++++++++++++++++

As soon as they entered the house, a banging racket could be heard. It sounded loud in the enclosed space.

“What on earth is that racket?” Apple Bloom asked.

After collecting some handgun ammo from a drawer, they walked down the hall. Spotting another tripwire, he immediately grabbed his charges and prevented them from walking any further.

“Why did ya...” Apple Bloom’s question was answered when Leon pointed further down the hall. She spotted yet another of those blasted wires and silenced her question.

Taking aim with his handgun, he shot at the wire, making it explode harmlessly away from them. Once the smoke cleared, they were able to move on. They were able to hear the noise a lot louder in this room, but they couldn’t see where it was coming from. Eventually, they arrived at what seemed to be a cabinet and after pressing their ears against it, realized that the noise appeared to get louder from beyond.

“Let’s go see where that noise is coming from,” Leon announced, and led the way down another hallway.

The source of the noise turned out to be a closet. It was rocking violently side-to-side, as if something was stuck inside. As if looking for help on what to do, he turned to look at his charges.

“Sounds ta me as if somethin’ o’ somepony is stuck in that thing. Why don’t ya open it an’ we can help the poor thing?” Apple Bloom’s words were very wise.

Standing to the side of the closet, Leon flipped the latch. Something did pop out, but it wasn’t a hostile. A man fell to the ground, struggling. His wrists were bound and he had duct tape over his mouth. At the sight of Leon’s gun, his eyes widened a bit, and he struggled to move away from him.

Deciding to take mercy on the poor soul, Leon removed the tape from his mouth, causing the man to scream in pain. “Little rough, don’t you think?!” he shrieked.

Leon flipped him over and untied the knot, finding it rather loose.

“You aren’t like them?”

He must mean those horrible villagers.

“No, how about yourself?”

The man managed to work himself free of the rope and shook imaginary dust off himself.

“I have one, very important question. You....” He broke off, getting a look at his surroundings for the first time. “Ponies? What are ponies doing out in the middle of nowhere?”

“We got names, ya know, mister!” Apple Bloom glared slightly at this man. Why were these humans always touchy about their appearances?

“Oh my god, they can talk!”

Leon shrugged, staring wistfully at the man who seemed to freak at the site of talking colorful ponies. “You get used to it. Honestly, the things that one of them is capable of would make your head spin. Their names are Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and...”

Upon attempting to name the third member of their party, Leon finally realized what was wrong. Apparently, Sweetie Belle noticed this at the exact same point. “Where is Scootaloo? She was right next to me!” She turned and looked everywhere for her orange companion, but no matter where she looked, their friend was gone.

“Those names sound very familiar to me! Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo are characters....” Before their companion could finish his thought, footsteps echoed just from the entrance they took to rescue this mysterious stranger.

Two villagers stood side-by-side next to a giant of a man. His footsteps thundered mightily on the floor. He oozed menace throughout every pore of his body.

“Perfect, the big cheese. That’s all we need.” The man Leon had just saved uttered this, and sounded defeated.

“He doesn’t look like cheese. We should probably just go.” Sweetie Belle huddled close to Apple Bloom, wishing Scootaloo was with her.

Leon ran forward and roundhouse kicked the big dude. Unfortunately, his attack was caught by one hand from the enemy, surprising everyone in the room. Grinning slightly, the big man threw Leon into the air, causing him to flip wildly. Sweetie screamed in horror as she was kicked harshly in the face, sending her tumbling hard into Apple Bloom, knocking both fillies out cold.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

This was truly the worst pain she had experienced in her life. No matter how hard she struggled to grip the trap, she couldn’t manage anything, other than additional spasms of agony. Luckily, she wasn’t gripped by an already damaged hoof, or she would have been doomed. The ground nearby was splattered with her blood, and every time she struggled, more would gush out.

Footsteps cut through her agony. They weren’t anyone she knew, and something told her that it wasn’t anything good. Sure enough, two villagers flanked by the biggest man she had ever seen in her life passed her.

She threw a hoof into her mouth, desperately trying to keep quiet. Another spasm of pain shot through her as she struggled. She whimpered a little as they passed seemingly right in front of her, not aware of her at all. She had to fight another spasm of pain so they wouldn’t hear her.

Silent, they stepped into the home her friends just entered. Sweetie was in there! Oh Celestia, how was she just supposed to sit there and watch her friends get hurt?! She yelled out the injustice of everything into her hoof. She couldn’t get caught! No matter how unfair it was. But she couldn’t just leave her friends....

A scream pierced the air, causing to Scootaloo’s eyes to widen in horror. Not long after that, the new arrivals walked back outside. All of them carrying somepony she knew. The big guy had a man Scootaloo didn’t recognize thrown carelessly over his shoulder.

As the three men carried her friends away, Scootaloo realized that she was trapped in one place, with absolutely no hope to chase after her friends. Something snapped in her mind, and she sobbed freely, watching as they carried her friends out of sight.

End of Chapter

Next: 1-2

Chapter 1-2: Tara

{This chapter contains a link to what I feel is appropriate music. While you don't have to listen to it, it will dramatically increase the mood}

Everything was going according to plan. Eve felt that Sadler would soon become all that much closer to his goal. She knew, of course, what would happen later when he became too cocky for his own good, but he didn’t know that.

She sighed as she made the last-minute changes to her personal virus, one she and she alone had control over. Things were always so boring around here, and leave it to Sadler to prevent her from having any real fun.

“Attention boss lady! We got a few intruders. They were found near the cabin near the farm. They are believed to be the perfect specimens for the Plagas.” One of the horrid Ganado creatures that made up the so-called cult spoke these drab words to her. He was always reporting stupid things to her, as if she was his boss.

“On it. Let me just perfect this. I believe I am all that closer to finalizing it.”

He saluted and wandered off. She stared after him, making sure that he was out of sight, before turning to the purple mixture in front of her. Grabbing a nearby knife from the table, she held it up, enjoying the play of the light on its surface.

The mixture was the perfect source of instant compliance. In short, it would bring anyone under her command with only a word from her. She loved testing them on any Ganados that just happened to piss her off enough to warrant a loss of mind. Too bad they kept dying due to failure to please her.

She needed her blood added to mixture for it to work. Just as she was holding the knife up, a bright flash of light exploded throughout the room, startling her briefly, before she realized who it was. She groaned, “Dammit Tara, you know I hate it when you teleport into the room!”

Tara answered, “That’s why I do it, you get so jumpy. I love watching you flinch.”

Changing the subject, Eve asked, “Was the mission successful?”

“Yeppers. You need to relax, maybe take a vacation. You are becoming a bit of a grouch being held up.”

“Shut it, Tara! So, everything is going according to plan, then?”

“Everyone is in the designated places. She was just as smart as you told me she was. I bet she never left....”

“That is enough, Tara. Just wait for my signal. Those new recruits are waiting in the next room for Sadler’s nasty little cult. Just go do whatever it is you normally do when I dismiss you.”

She pretended to not notice the mock glare of her assistant as Tara vanished from the room. She also noticed briefly that Tara had changed clothes again. She always seemed to enjoy a different wardrobe, though black was always her favorite.

Finally slicing her arm, Eve watched in fascinated interest as her blood drizzled out into the mixture, making it turn a shocking color of reddish black. She carefully added it to a group of waiting syringes, smiling a little as everything settled into place. They were finally ready! Before anyone could yell at her for being tardy, she pocketed the syringes, noting the gleeful noises emanating from them in several of her pockets. They were happy and ready.

She adjusted her glasses and smiled as she walked down the hall. The halls were empty, and no one was really out and about. Finally she saw Bitores down the hall and knew that was where the party was. Once she arrived, she noticed four figures slumped in chairs, unconscious.

Eve felt her jaw drop when she studied two of those figures closely. They were ponies! Tara wasn’t lying when she said she was successful. She fingered two of her syringes, smile widening when she heard her own happiness echoed in them. They were resonating to the ponies lying dead to the world.

As she stared at them, she noticed Bitores ready another Plagas sample over the unaware pony forms. She couldn’t have that, now, could she?

She ordered Bitores, “I will take care of it, Mr. Mendez. I can tell that these two will be perfect. You just focus on the others. I heard Luis has escaped once. Maybe you can actually do something useful for once and take care of him, at least.” Angering him was always a good thing--it would make him less likely to act. She needed Luis to be Plagas-free.

He snapped, “You know not to call me that, Eve. Sadler might think you are who you say you are, but I am a bit more suspicious of your intentions. Why is it you know so much already?”

“Call it a gift. I trust you know what that means.”

He growled a little, clawed hands working themselves free from the trench coat he always seemed to wear. He finally regained a semblance of control and didn’t move to attack her. Such a pity. She knew how that fight would have worked out. He stormed off, glaring at her on his way past.

She then turned to the two unaware ponies in front of her. She held out a hand to the bow-wearing filly and felt her fur and mane. So soft! “You two are going to be perfect! Now, let’s get you dosed up.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scootaloo screamed futilely as, once again, she failed to free herself. Blood was dripping down her injured hindhoof as she unwittingly struggled. She had cared more for preserving her own life, rather than saving her friends, and look where it had gotten her.

“That looks rather painful, doesn’t it, little filly?” That voice!

Scootaloo glared at the woman sitting on the roof of the cabin that her friends had departed. “You! I know you! You hijacked Twilight’s machine and sent us to this realm. What are you doing up there?! Get me out of here!”

“Oh how sweet, the filly talks tough for being caught in a silly bear trap. Didn’t you notice how no one noticed your pitiful screaming?”

This was enough to cause Scootaloo’s anger to evaporate instantly. “What the hell are you talking about, lady?”

“The name’s Tara by the way! I would be a little nicer to me if I were you, seeing as how if you weren’t caught in my invention, you would have been taken away and drugged.”

“Your invention? This fucking thing is painful and I never should have abandoned my friends for my own selfish needs!” Scootaloo’s rage at being taunted, combined with the pain of another injury, increased again.

“That bear trap is nothing more than a figment of your mind, little pegasus. Since you are no longer in danger, it will be gone.” She smirked and suddenly Scootaloo felt no pain.

“How did..”

She stared at her recent injury from the bear trap and noticed that there was no blood. The area around her was devoid of blood as well. “This is impossible! How were you able to do that?! That makes absolutely no sense, lady!”

“I told you already, my name is Tara.” Her grin widened. “And I will tell you that there is absolutely no point in making sense.”

Scootaloo’s eyes narrowed. “Mom told me once of a Draconequus named Discord who said those exact words. Last time I checked, he was male.”

Tara laughed and before Scootaloo could blink or move, she vanished, appearing in front of the startled pegasus.

“Sounds like my kind of being. No, Scootaloo, I am not this Discord fellow. I love what he stood for, though. My mistress wishes to create a world where a lot of chaos would reign. That will teach everyone not to wrong my mistress.”

She vanished again and appeared on a tree branch above Scootaloo. “Before I forget, don’t you have to hurry to your little friends? They seem to be in danger, and you don’t have long before the order is sent to obliterate them into small bits.”

“I thought you told us that you weren’t our enemy! I think you are just a massive jerk.”

More laughter was her response to Scootaloo’s clever outburst.

“And you won’t be my enemy, provided you be a good mare and stay away from my mistress. Bad things tend to happen for those she hates. Her cause is always the best path, and everyone just dies to sign up. Before I leave though, I will give you a clue over where to find you little friends.”

She cleared her throat before appearing to hover over Scootaloo’s head. “A path in the village will lead you to old man Bitorez’s house. Through the house and past a sliding passageway will lead to a secret passage in a well at the end of the road. Follow the passage all the way through, and, eventually, you will arrive at small clearing of houses. Your friends are held in a small cabin.”

Mocking laughter spewed forth from Tara’s mouth as she watched Scootaloo’s anger boil over.

“That anger will never help you, young one. Will you be able to save your friends or will their game be over before long?” She winced a little, her expression becoming rueful. “Darn, that little bit snuck out. This isn’t a game like we originally thought. I can’t go and break that wall.”

She cheered up and stared evilly at Scootaloo. “You better hurry, little Pegasus, for their time is running out. Ciao!”

She waved, giggling as she vanished into thin air, leaving Scootaloo with her thoughts.

That woman was incredibly infuriating. She glared around the area as if expecting a hostile villager to pop out of out thin air, but she realized that only Tara was capable of doing that. Sighing with left over anger, she began the journey to the house that would lead her to her friends. She hoped that it wouldn’t be too late.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Leon groaned a little as he slowly returned to the land of the living. He attempted to move his hands, but instantly realized that he was incapable of doing so much as twitch. When did he get like this? Another groan and a whimper of pain. Was that Sweetie Belle?

“Why do I feel like this? My horn feels just awful.”

Yep, it was Sweetie Belle.

“Why can’t I move? I am pretty sure I wasn’t hit with some kind of stun spell. Where is Apple Bloom?” Sweetie was tired, but the worry of being separated from her friends pierced the lazy touch of slumber.

“Why do ya have ta be so dang loud? Ah feel like ma head was hit by a train. Ma stomach feels weird, too.” Apple Bloom’s response was angry and a little tired as well.

Leon gave a sigh of relief as he realized that they were still with him. “I am so glad that you two are alright! Where are we?”

A groan greeted them as the third member of their little group also woke up. “Crawl out of one hole and into another. I need to stop doing that.”

That sounded like the man whom they had rescued. Why were they all together like this? Leon realized that the man was tied with his arms behind him and attached to Leon’s own. From what he could witness, Sweetie and Apple Bloom were tied together in a similar fashion.

“Where did Scootaloo go? Why isn’t she here with us?! One minute she is with us, and the next she is gone!” Sweetie was freaking out and small tears were falling down her snout.

“I am sure she is fine. There has to be an explanation as to why she vanished. We have to keep our heads. First off, we need to remain calm.” Leon had effortlessly taken charge of the situation.

“So what brings you to this part of the world?” The mystery man had spoken and was grinning a little at Leon. In annoyance, Leon tugged a little on his bindings.

The mystery man protested, “Ow, easy, whoever you are!” The smirk was evident in his voice.

Leon gave a small sigh. He was starting to feel stressed, a really bad sign. “The name is Leon. I came here looking for this girl who was kidnapped. I managed to meet three ponies from Equestria along the way. Their names you should remember from earlier before this madness began.” With noticeable effort, he managed to work free a photo of Ashley from his pocket. “You don’t happen to know where she is, do you?”

The man stared at the picture for a few moments before giving his response. “Ah, let me guess, she is the President’s missing daughter and you are the person hired to bring her back.” His voice held wry amusement.

“That’s a little too good for a simple guess. Would you mind explaining?” Leon was unamused at this guy’s knowledge. In his experience, that usually meant a bad thing.

“Psychic powers!”

Leon remained stoic, choosing to ignore that answer.

The man laughed a little before giving in. “I am just kidding with you, amigo. I overheard several villagers and a weird woman with glasses talking about a girl they kidnapped. The woman looked awfully scary, even for me, but they said that she was held captive in a church. That church is near a graveyard. The village has a passage that leads to that area, and if we ever get out of here, you should find it rather easily.”

Leon sighed, relieved that he now had a fix on Ashley’s location. “What about you? Who are you?”

“Me? I am Luis Sera. I used to be a cop from Madrid.”

“What made you quit?”

Luis gave a sarcastic laugh and responded. “You put your life on the line, every day, and no one appreciates you. They say thanks on command, but they don’t really appreciate the selflessness of your heroic acts. I didn’t feel appreciated for my work, so I quit.”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were paying rapt attention to the conversation. Neither of them were going to interrupt the feel good moment.

“I used to be a cop myself, back when Racoon City was still around. It was my blasted first day and I managed to get involved with something I never saw before.” Leon looked sad as he reminisced about his time in Racoon City.

Luis, for the first time,  looked interested in what Leon had to say. “That was the city with the viral outbreak, right?” Leon nodded slightly. “I think I may have seen a sample of the virus at the lab at the department....”

Before he could continue, a piercing laugh echoed throughout the cabin, sending them all on edge.

Commence Music

“Oh, how fun, the heroes believe they will be rescued. Well news flash, things might not go so well for you!” A woman appeared, sitting on the window, looking highly amused at the surprised faces.

“You! Ya sent us here. What the hay is goin’ on here?” Apple Bloom broke her silence.

This woman was dressed in a flowering purple and gold dress. She had brunette hair and seemed to be capable of teleporting all over the place. She proved this point by switching to a spot nearby Apple Bloom. “How sweet! Well, boss man has sent a Ganado to deal with you. Too bad you can’t move, or I would tell you to hurry. He should be here in a few seconds.”

SMASH!

A very loud crash echoed in what appeared to be the connecting room, sending sinking dread into all their hearts. A blood-drenched villager dragging a very large axe behind him walked slowly into the room. Once he was fully inside, he stopped, apparently waiting for his command.

“Wonderful, he is exactly on time! Now, I very much doubt that help will arrive on time, since this is a ways from that musty cabin. I believe you know her...the flightless and scrawny pegasus. Let’s see if she can fly to save you! If you do happen to survive, the code is 7521! Ciao darlings!”

She vanished instantly, her laughter echoing off the walls.

For a moment, no one moved. Sweetie was paralysed in fear, tears seemingly falling down without her notice.

Taking his axe, the villager raised it high over his head, then brought it down hard toward Sweetie and Apple Bloom. Leon, in a fit of desperation, twisted violently in his bindings, hoping Luis wouldn’t hinder him. Sweetie screamed as Leon kicked her and Apple Bloom away just as the axe fell down. Sparks erupted from the ground causing the villager to shake a little at the violent impact.

Apple Bloom wiggled in vain trying to get her partner to safety. The villager, blood still dripping from numerous cuts all over his body, lifted the large axe and came after them once more. Apple Bloom, who had gained a large amount of muscle from working on the farm (something she now was very thankful for), was barely able to dodge the swings.

Eventually, the villager seemed to wise up. He knocked over several tables, which fell down in a chain reaction, eventually knocking Apple Bloom over. Sweetie was left out in the open, while her comrade was buried under several tables and random assorted objects.

Sweetie finally snapped out of her shock, and struggled for awhile. Unlike Apple Bloom, she wasn’t strong enough to move both of them to safety. Things didn’t appear to be going well for her. She looked into the eyes of the crazed villager.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It didn’t take long for the injured pegasus to find the house the woman mentioned. A long winding path led up to the biggest house she had seen yet. Along the way, she found a discarded magnum with 50 cartridges for it. She was dead lucky to stop in that cabin. Being a pony, she had some trouble picking the gun up. A note next to the gun stated that it was already loaded and ready.

Idly, she wondered who had left the gun here. She picked up several herbs and carried them with her. She would give them to Leon later. A foreboding chill rushed through her and she ran out of the cabin.

Hang on guys, I will be there soon...At least, I hope so.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Apple Bloom quickly recovered and bucked the tables off herself. She was barely able to dodge this time, and Sweetie put some effort into helping her dodge. The going was extremely awkward though, and hurt the two ponies dearly. Sometimes, when adrenaline and fear of death kicks in, it can lead to super-pony feats of incredible strength.

Sweetie Belle had to use her hind hooves to do a kind of crab walk, while Apple Bloom used her strength to keep them away from harm. Leon and Luis attempted to stall the villager by kicking at items scattered in his path, to delay when they could. For some odd reason, the villager never went after them, even when their attempts would have gotten his attention otherwise.

How much longer can we hold out like this? Leon didn’t dare think of the alternative.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Finally, she made it out of that blasted underground passage. She had been ambushed by several of those blasted crazy ponies, but she managed to work the gun and shoot them. Surprisingly, she had very good aim and got several headshots.

“Back, you fuckers! I am on a very important mission and can’t afford any delays!”

Her plea was ignored, and several of them attempted to swing their implements of doom toward her. She easily dodged these pitiful attempts at assassination. She raised her magnum in one hoof and shot her closest attacker directly into the face.

Unfortunately, her mark was off a bit, and the bullet ended up shattering his left eye. It exploded, causing the guy to howl in agony. She ignored his pain and bucked his legs out from under him. She used the magnum on anyone stupid enough to get in her way. This was the funnest thing she had ever done in her life!

“Now, back the fuck off! I am in a hurry, and I really can’t afford delays!”

Wisely they listened to her this time.

++++++++++++++++++

Apple Bloom was tiring quickly, and her dodges with a frantic and terrified Sweetie Belle were coming closer to being fatally slow. Leon and Luis helping was a blessing from Celestia, but how much longer could she hold out?

Sweetie was starting to hyperventilate with fear. This was the scariest thing she had ever faced in her young life, and she really didn’t want to die here. As if to spite them, Apple Bloom tripped in her dodge, taking Sweetie Belle with her.

Triumphant, and barely worn out, the villager seemed to walk slowly up to the downed and utterly exhausted Apple Bloom. “Ah can’t get up no mo’. This guy is jus’ too strong an’ doesn’t seem ta tire out easily.”

Apple Bloom was panting heavily. She didn’t get up. Sweetie Belle was crying. They awaited the axe to eat deeply of their blood.

“Hey fuck face! Leave my friends alone, or suffer severe consequences!”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

She emerged behind double doors into a small settlement. What appeared to be guard towers made their homes on certain rooftops. Luckily, no one was around to hinder her progress. Tara’s words came back to her, and she searched frantically for the cabin that would house her friends.

She spotted what appeared to be a bridge, and she crossed it, hoping to find the cabin. Instead, she found what appeared to be gates blocking whatever was through them. Screams and sounds of frantic movement echoed in the silent and eerie air.

She galloped over to the gates crashing through them frantically. Wood splinters were littered all over the ground and the screams seemed to emanate from within. She took off, wasting no time in something so small as victory in finding the right place.

Once she was inside, she turned a small corner, and there was a gruesome and scary sight. A villager drenched in bloody wounds carrying an enormous axe was standing over Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. Glancing at Sweetie’s scared and traumatized face caused something to snap deep within the young Pegasus.

“I promise that I won’t let the darkness or anything bad happen to you...”

She remembered that promise and intended to keep it no matter what. Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the room.

“Hey fuck face! Leave my friends alone or suffer severe consequences!”

Rage and exhaustion led to a shortage of patience. So help the unfortunate villager if he wasn’t compliant.

He stopped his attack, and turned around, seemingly glaring at her.. He stared at his axe thoughtfully for a moment before finally swinging it toward her. Her eyes widened when she noticed it flying towards her. She ran forward, hoping to all that was holy that she wouldn’t mess up.

She jumped into the air, using her small wings to propel her forward. Her hooves found purchase on a small corner of the blade, and she jumped forward with her momentum. Flipping through the air, she aimed her trusty magnum.

She shot the gun, ejecting a bullet at high velocity toward her unlucky victim. The villager’s head exploded into a shower of gore, drenching her further. Her damaged hoof shouted in agonizing pain from the excessive use of recoil. The axe was thrown and lodged into the nearby wall.

When she landed her attack, she noticed her friends, as well as Leon and the stranger staring at her with wide eyes. She grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment.

“Very well done, young pegasus. You managed to save your friends.” Tara’s cruel voice sounded from behind her. “I will let you get a move on and continue your adventure. You better be thinking over that choice you will have to make. This won’t be the last time you see me Scootaloo. Ciao!”

Her laughter was the last thing they all heard, as she vanished before Scootaloo could do so much as blink.

Chapter 1-2: Meeting the Merchant and Jerry

“Where the heck were ya this entire time, Scootaloo?!” Apple Bloom, despite sounded annoyed, ruined everything by hugging the pegasus with her full strength.

“It’s a crazy story. I don’t even believe it, and I was there for most of it.” Once the initial shock of nearly being killed ran its course, Scootaloo had been bombarded with questions. Sweetie Belle had remained staring oddly into space and barely responded to what was going around her. The adrenaline rush of nearly being killed still flowed through her veins.

Scootaloo had also met Luis once things calmed down considerably. He seemed to be relatively calm about coming into contact with a bunch of technicolor talking ponies. He excused himself and walked out of the small cabin that they were all in.

Finally, Scootaloo felt ready to reveal what had happened. For the next few minutes, she recounted meeting Tara, the invisible bear trap, and her journey to save them. When she had mentioned spotting the Magnum in a small cabin, Leon seemed notably interested in that.

“And the rest is history, as they say. I found you guys, killed that creepy guy, and saved the day. Can we go now? I feel like we were standing around for ages.” Scootaloo wrapped up her story with the patience that was expected of her, which was none.

At that moment, Leon’s phone chirped cheerfully, slightly scaring Sweetie Belle. He grabbed his phone and noticed that it was Hunnigan once again. Leon answered it with, “Sorry I couldn’t get in touch sooner. I was a bit tied up.”

The Crusaders groaned in agony at the pun, but Leon ignored them.

Hunnigan asked, “You’re OK though, right?”

“I’m fine, thanks to Scootaloo. There was a male civilian held hostage with us.”

“Is he fine? What happened to him?”

“Once the enemy was neutralized, he managed to escape. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle got a vigorous workout trying to dodge that mad guy with the really long ax, but they’re fine. I did manage to work out Ashley’s location, though.”

“Don’t keep me waiting, Leon. Where is she?”

“Apparently, she is in a church somewhere.”

“Do you have an exact location of this church? Every little bit helps.”

“I found out that a passage in the village will lead us there, but other than that, I don’t know any specifics, other than some graveyard.

“Well, that part of the mission should be easy now that we know just where she is being kept. But, I am curious over how Scootaloo managed to save you. She normally doesn’t act like that.”

It was silent for a moment. Scootaloo had a faint but quite noticeable twitch. Before she could do anything about it, she was beaten to the punch by Apple Bloom.

“Alright, this has gone on long enough, missy! Ya didn’t act surprised ‘bout us bein’ here. In fact, ya seem ta know quite a bit ‘bout us. Ah will admit, Scootaloo’s behavior is odd, but Equestria in general has a lot of odd happenin’s lately. Ah have been attacked, watched ma friend battle death’s hoof an’ live, an’ narrowly came close ta gettin’ killed myself. Jus’ what the hay is goin’ on, an’ why do ya know so much ‘bout us?”

Apple Bloom panted heavily, everypony (and human) staring at her oddly. Hunnigan was silent for a while. Eventually, she responded to the farm pony’s plea. “You mean you don’t know just who you are?” she said sadly.

Silence again.

Hunnigan elaborated, “I don’t know the potential catastrophe of letting you three know the truth. It is complicated to explain.”

“Try ta explain it, then! This is gettin’ annoyin’, an’ frankly, Ah’ve had a terrible day so far,” Apple Bloom shot back.

Hunnigan sighed. “I don’t want to get into it. It could ruin your entire concept of what is real and what is fake. It will throw your entire world off center and possibly into a crisis. Maybe one day you will know the truth, but for now, you should focus on helping Leon with his mission.”

Leon noticed that Hunnigan had a look of profound sadness on her face as she disconnected the call. He silently pocketed the phone. “Well, that was odd, but we should just ignore this moment and hope it goes away.”

He smiled slightly when Apple Bloom calmed down. The stress of narrowly getting killed was getting to her as he was sure it was to everypony else.

Before they could so much as move, a voice rang through the silence shattering the sense of calm around them all.

“Welcome strangers! How is everyone doing this fine, gloomy day?!”

A man was leaning against the wall near the exit to the room. He had a cloak on and rustling noises of various items within could be heard when he twitched.

Leon moved for his gun. The stranger raised his arm in a gesture of surrender. “I am not your enemy, twitchy stranger!” he assured. “All I am is someone willing to share my stock. My brothers--who look all exactly like me--are merchants and willing to sell weapons to anyone--or anypony--looking for some fun.”

Raising an eyebrow, Leon cautiously asked, “Really? All of them sell stuff to random people in the middle of nowhere?”

Bellowing a laugh, the man responded. “You are correct, stranger! My name is Bob the merchant! I am here to sell you explosives and chain guns.”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom perked up at the mention of explosives. Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes and edged away from them. Upon noticing this, the merchant’s laughter boomed merrily in the small room, hurting their ears. “Well, the closest thing to explosives that I have are infinite rocket launchers that never run out. But! I am willing to sell you weapons, provided you have the right items.”

“Is it smart to sell such dangerous weapons to children?” Leon countered.

“We are in the middle of hell, my good man! Personally,  I doubt any fanatics would complain. Ponies, humans...what is the difference, really? Just don’t shoot me by mistake, and we will be fine and dandy.”

“Why, what happens if we shoot you?” Leon was amused and wondered where this slightly disturbing conversation would lead.

“Well, I stop selling my merchandise to you, and I become very pissed off. Seeing as how things are a little different this time, I can’t ignore such potential murder and sell stuff to you anyway! My cost range is a little different than normal. If you have five lottery tickets and 200 PTAS, then you get a wonderful item for the duration of your stay. I also throw in five free items of your choice. This includes armor, ammo, and healing items.”

The merchant paused, tilting his head slightly. “If I receive something of incredible value, such as medallions or rare treasure, I will be your friend for life! Additionally, your status is upgraded from client to eternal friends for life. You also get all my weapons, ammo, and my eternal gratitude.”

“What could possibly be worth all that?” Apple Bloom stared skeptically at the merchant.

This was the first time the merchant got a good look at her, and once he did, his eyes bulged wide in their sockets.

“Oh my god, it is the farmer pony! I freakin’ love your sister! She is best pony in my opinion. But you are a close second! I have absolutely no idea why you are here, but this is too good a moment to pass up!” He paused for a quick breath before continuing, “I must have your bow! I always wanted to touch my hands upon its beauty. I could buy it in a store, but nothing comes close to the original. Please, I must have it or my heart will die in sadness, and I will be a sad merchant!”

Everypony (and human) edged away from what could possibly be a deranged lunatic. Embarrassed, the stranger calmed down and began to ramble.

“Sorry about that, humble strangers! I lost control! Give me five lottery tickets and the bow instead.  I will take off the 200 PTAS, and give you all my weapons and ammo. I will even give you that item I mentioned earlier. To have anything from that wonderful place will simply make my day!”

Apple Bloom recovered from her shock a little and stared up at the merchant. “Why should gettin’ ma bow be such a big deal? It’s jus’ a fashion accessory.”

The merchant chuckled a little, finding the situation quite amusing. “Do you realize how big your home world is to people like me?I am sure people will kill to have anything from that wonderful place for themselves. You three ponies are heroes, and a lot of people love you. I am not the first to wish I was born there, nor will I be the last.”

“That makes no sense, mister! How could we be so popular like ya say we are? Equestria has never seen humans, an’ Ah don’t even know why we are so famous. Plus, ma bow is a part o’ who Ah am. Ah jus’ couldn’t part wit’ it so easily.”

“I have dreamed of owning something from Equestria since first.... Well best not get into that right now. Just think about it, will you, Apple Bloom? This isn’t a bad bargain! In fact, it is practically unheard of!”

Leon did a double take at that and just had to ask for more details. “Why do you mean, ‘unheard of’?. I had a relatively normal day, minus meeting ponies and getting caught by a big man in a trench coat.”

“What I mean to say is that things are a bit out of whack here. I am sure you notice that ponies appearing in the real world is a bit odd. I have spoken too long on the subject as it is.” He shook his head. “Just think about it, Apple Bloom. You will be making a fan, really, really happy.”

Apple Bloom wasn’t sure how to take several people knowing about her. On one hoof, most of these people so far were friendly and not trying to kill her. Leon seemed to be in the same boat they were and unaware of any knowledge about them. She would have liked answers, but realized that such things might not be possible for a while.

On the other hoof, he seemed to really want her red bow as a sort of souvenir. Scootaloo seemed to be eyeing the merchant’s coat with interest. The farm filly also noticed that Scootaloo was still carrying the gun in her less-damaged hoof. She seemed unwilling to part with the weapon that had saved them. The pegasus had to admit that carrying something potentially dangerous had a sort of thrill to it.

Applejack always was quick to confiscate anything remotely dangerous back home. Admittedly, like Scootaloo, Apple Bloom had a reckless streak on occasion. Besides, she herself wanted to test out all those weapons for herself and see if anything resonated with her.

Finally, after a long moment of thinking things through, she reached a hoof up to her precious bow and started to untie it. “If it will make ya happy, mister, Ah can see maself partin’ wit’ it after all.” Once she felt it loosen, she pulled, finally releasing it from her head.

The merchant looked ecstatic and could barely contain his joy. She stared up at him. “Here, it probably will be more useful ta ya than me.”

Once the merchant was sure he had a grip on it, gently took it from her outstretched hooves. He laughed a little and danced around happily for a bit. “Thanks, little pony! I will treasure it deeply.” He paused, hesitant. “I suppose you will be wanting weapons and everything.”

Carefully, the possibly deranged lunatic began taking various weapons out of his trench coat. Leon noticed what appeared to be a tommy gun, rocket launcher, and various armor vests among the many items he revealed. Scootaloo’s happily deranged expression seemed on the verge of splitting her face apart.

Finally, the merchant took out what appeared to be a book from his trench coat. He held it in front of him for a few moments before looking at Leon.

“This device is a Monster Dex. It is an encyclopedia of the entire world and will tell you about all the hostiles you meet. I must warn you that he is a bit odd at times and his humor is sometimes questionable. He doesn’t mean it, though, and will prove to be a valuable companion for your adventure.”

Leon hesitated a fraction of a second before taking the Monster Dex from the merchant. Everypony drew breath once he grabbed it, expecting something exciting to happen. Nothing whatsoever did, and Leon felt somehow let down.

The merchant quickly assured, “I know those frowns! Don’t worry, he always likes his little jokes. Just give him a minute and he will activate.” He paused for a bit and then added, “I will treasure your red bow for eternity, young filly. Some knives and added fun stuff are in that pile. Your Monster Dex acts as a storage device enabling you to never lose what you store. Now if you excuse me, I have to depart. May you find what you are looking for.” He waved and ventured out of the cabin just as unexpectedly and quickly as he came.

Scootaloo was practically vibrating with enthusiasm as she stared at all the weapons in front of her. “Ooh, what do we have here!” She giggled as she eyed a frighteningly large knife with several jagged points.

Sweetie Belle was eyeing the pile of weapons and assorted implements of doom like they would reach out and devour her. She was the only one who backed away. “I don’t like those things. They look scary! I think I will just stand over here and wait.”

Leon noticed the unicorn looked rather pale, and several tears threatening to make themselves visible in her eyes.

“Hey Leon, what does this thing do?” Apple Bloom was holding a long, thin rifle in her hooves.

He noticed a scope on one end.  “That is a sniper rifle. It is used to snipe unsuspecting enemies in the head. Primarily used if you don’t want to get friendly with your victims. It is also a lot of fun to use, but it leaves you vulnerable for a bit.”

Scootaloo noticed that Leon sounded a lot like Twilight when she was in “lecture” mode. Apple Bloom grinned, eyeing the weapon like she would a loved one. “Ah always did have good aim. Ah will take this weapon if ya don’t mind.” She didn’t wait for a response anyway, and simply tightened her grip on her weapon of choice like a mother would her foal.

Sweetie noticed that a few armor vests were lying in a pile. She was pleased that no deadly devices were nearby and timidly reached out and grabbed one. Leon, noticing her, smiled and said, “That actually is a good idea, Sweetie. Those vests will definitely protect us. I see that there is enough for all of us, and highly recommend that you all wear one.”

Sweetie didn’t like the look of these vests, but figured that she would be thankful to not get killed if attacked. Scootaloo had her vest on already and hooked several choice weapons to it. Her eyes were wide with delight. Leon noticed that the tommy gun (Leon told her it was called a Chicago Typewriter), her beloved magnum, a Red 9 handgun, and a really large, jagged, and deadly knife were attached to Scootaloo’s vest.

Apple Bloom’s weapons were less deadly looking. She had the rifle, a striker, and mine thrower. She forewent a knife,  deciding to alternate between the mine gun and rifle depending on the situation.

Sweetie had no weapons, flinching away from them if any were offered to her. She didn’t really want to kill anything, even if it tried to kill her first. Not wanting to feel entirely useless, she agreed to carry all the ammo with her. The other weapons would be used if the situation called for it.

Leon didn’t pick any new weapons, preferring to stick with his shotgun and handgun. He also assumed that if he needed any newer weapons, the ponies would be more than accommodating.

There were leftover weapons and Sweetie used the armor pockets to store all the ammo. Finally, Leon stared at the silent Monster Dex in his hand. It hadn’t so much as talked or interacted with anything around it. He wondered idly if he had been ripped off, before realizing that the Merchant had given them all of his weapons and armor.

“So, what does that thing do?” Apple Bloom asked, eyeing Leon and the strange device in his hand.

Shrugging, he responded, “I am still trying to figure it out myself. I wonder if that crazy man ripped us off and gave us a useless device. Still, we got free weapons and items, so it isn’t all bad.”

“Can Ah see it? Maybe it will activate fer a mare’s touch.” Apple Bloom grinned smugly. Leon shrugged and handed it over to her.

She stared at the strange thing in her hooves. It was mostly green, with trace amounts of red. She noticed that flaps opened, giving her a view of a screen similar to Leon’s phone. She admired it for a brief moment, but when nothing happened, she frowned in annoyance.

“Stupid thing is broken! Sweetie see if ya can get it ta activate o’ show signs o’ somethin’.”

Apple Bloom tossed it to the unicorn, who caught it with her hooves. Her magic was flimsy at best and she didn’t want to cause something (or somepony) to explode. Maybe, she reasoned, it could be reasoned with. “Will you please activate for me?” she asked in a placating voice. Still nothing. Sweetie frowned. “Are you shy? We won’t hurt you or anything.”

Still nothing from the inanimate device.

Scootaloo huffed and grabbed it from Sweetie’s grip. “This thing doesn’t want to...”

The device clicked and hummed for the first time since they had received it. Scootaloo yelped in fright as the Monster Dex split open. Six leg-like attachments sprung forth, and a split appeared in the middle of the device forming a “mouth.” Two “eye” attachments opened, and Scootaloo had the nasty suspicion that it was able to “see” her.

“SCANNING..... PONY LIFE-FORMS DETECTED....  EQUESTRIAN LIFE-FORMS DETECTED. STATE YOUR NAME, PONY, OR BE EXTERMINATED.”

Scootaloo blinked in confusion and shock. Once she was able to recover she was able to blurt out the first thing that popped into her head. “What the hell do you mean by exterminated?!”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT DALEKS ARE?”

“Who?”

“OH, YOU SIMPLE, SIMPLE PONY! YOU SAID THE REFERENCE WRONG! ANYWAY, I GUESS THE ROBOT DISGUISE IS KINDA BLOWN, RIGHT?”

Scootaloo winced as an electronic whine pierced the air. She realized that it sounded like laughter.

“I LOVE ACTING LIKE A ROBOT! SO MUCH FUN! SO WHAT’S YOUR NAME, PONY? AND YOUR COMPANIONS, TOO?”

Blinking in shock at being addressed by a machine, she timidly replied, “I am Scootaloo.” Then she perked up. “Lucky you reacted at all. We were going to get rid of your useless device.”

“SOMEHOW, I DOUBT YOU WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED THROUGH WITH THAT, SINCE I WAS INTRODUCED IN THIS WHOLE STORY IN THE FIRST PLACE. YEAH, I WENT AND DID IT! I AM OBVIOUSLY A SUBSTITUTE, SINCE THAT OTHER PONY ISN’T HERE.”

Scootaloo groaned in annoyance as another electronic whine was heard. Just what she needed, vague explanations.  Sweetie, who had been staring at the machine in interest with her Earth Pony companion decided to make herself known. “I am Sweetie Belle. I hope we get to know each other better.”

“YOUR VOICE PRINTS ARE STORED. STILL NEED TWO MORE TO INTRODUCE THEMSELVES. COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.”

“Ah’m Apple Bloom. Ah never thought Ah would ever come across a talkin’ machine. Ya remind me o’ Pinkie Pie fer some reason. Not sure why, though.”

“I ASSUME IT’S BECAUSE OF MY CHARMING PERSONALITY.”

It actually sounded amused.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Naw, somethin’ else. A feelin’ in the air that Ah’m missin’.”

“OK, YOUR VOICE PRINTS ARE STORED FOR FUTURE REFERENCE. STILL, SCANNERS ARE PICKING UP A STRANGE AND UNIDENTIFIED PERSON STILL NOT INTRODUCING HIMSELF.”

Leon huffed, annoyed. This device acted rather odd. For one thing, it knew where the foals came from. Not many people or machines were able to do that. It refused to activate for anyone except Scootaloo. Could this machine be trusted?

“Leon Kennedy,” was all he designated to respond with. He still felt rather uneasy about all of this.

“BOY, ARE YOU A STICK IN THE MUD, MR. KENNEDY! ANYWAY, YOU FOUR CAN CALL ME JERRY. I KNOW, NOT THE MOST ROBOTIC NAME IN EXISTENCE, BUT FUCK ORIGINALITY! I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS PLACE. I CAN TELL YOU FUN FACTS ABOUT ALL SORTS OF UNDESIRABLES YOU MAY HAPPEN ACROSS.  WONDERING ABOUT THOSE VILLAGERS A BIT AGO?  WELL, THEY ARE CALLED GANADOS, AND I CAN’T ACTUALLY GO FURTHER INTO THEM BECAUSE THE PLOT STILL CALLS FOR YOU TO FIGURE SHIT OUT ON YOUR OWN. BUT, BOY IS THE AUTHOR PLEASED THAT HE CAN STOP CALLING THEM CRAZIES!”

Scootaloo realized something important at that moment. She didn’t know half of what Jerry (weird name) had spoken, nor what was going on. She learned a very valuable lesson with Pinkie, and that was to not question anything that she said that could be weird. She did, however, ask, “Hang on! How are we going to carry all these extra weapons?”

“AH, AND THERE WE HAVE THE PLOT DEVICE OF WEAPON HANDLING! HAVE NO FEAR, SCOOTALOO. MY STORAGE CAPACITY IS ENDLESS, AND I MEAN THAT LITERALLY. ANYTHING EXTRA YOU ARE CARRYING, I WILL CARRY FOR YOU.”

That made sense, and she found herself nodding in agreement. Leon realized that position of leadership had temporarily been taken away from him. Unsure of how to take this, he decided to just ignore it.

“Wait. How are you going to travel?” Sweetie had spoken up and was staring in concern at Jerry.

“NEVER YOU MIND, MY DEAR. I WILL JUST HITCH A RIDE ON SCOOTALOO. BOY, THAT SOUNDED VULGAR. HOPE NO ONE HAS A DIRTY MIND.”

“Wait, what do you mean by...” Before Scootaloo could question further, Jerry floated over to Scootaloo’s back and the pegasus felt an instance of pain. Jerry had attached himself to Scootaloo’s back, hitching a ride, and acted as a backpack of sorts. She frowned in annoyance, but otherwise said nothing. The pain of the initial encounter had faded. Finally, they were ready to depart this small cabin and head to the next area.