"Scootaloo, hand me another cupcake," Pinkie stuck out her hoof.
"Uhhh, we're all out," Scootaloo answered reluctantly.
"Goodie!" Pinkie exclaimed. She reached her strong, shaky hoof into the small top hat sitting on the blood-covered table. She pulled out a number - one she hoped she'd never find, number 23045. Pinkie gasped, her eyes filling with tears. "Oh no, no no no no no....." Pinkie whispered in a rasping voice. Scootaloo cocked her head, grabbing the small, weathered piece of paper from the pink pony. Tears filled Scootaloo's eyes. The next cupcake would be Pinkie.
Pinkie walked out of Sugar Cube Corner. Few ponies walked down what used to be a busy street, praying they wouldn't be the next goners. She looked around and sighed. She would miss this place. Walking inside, she saw Mrs. Cake selling a box of doughnuts. She smiled when she saw it was Princess Celestia. "Princess!" she exclaimed. Celestia looked back and smiled at the young mare.
"Hello," answered the beautiful white pony. "I need to talk to you," Pinkie rasped in a dark voice. They walked back to the Cakes' bathroom.
"I've been getting-uh- 'death threats,'" Pinkie whispered quietly. Celestia gasped. "Who from?" Pinkie shrugged. "Well, don't worry about it. We'll found out who."
Pinkie sat in her basement. She looked around the room. "Well, I guess it's time..." she looked at her hooves. "Scootaloo, you know what you have to do..." Scootaloo sighed. She knew she had to obey Pinkie. She reached Pinkie a poisonous cupcake. Pinkie ate it, knowing it would be her last. Suddenly, her head had a painful ache. Her body began to shake violently, like she was about to have a seizure. Is this what happens to everypony? she wondered. Suddenly, she fell over, asleep.
Pinkie woke up and found herself tied to a wooden plaque. "Wuhhh...." Pinkie moaned groggily. Remembering what was going on. Scootaloo walked forward, a small scapel in her hoof. She stabbed it into Pinkie's side, carving out her cutie mark. Pinkie tried to free her leg, tears stinging her eyes. She'd never realized how much this had hurt. Scootaloo pulled the cutie mark from Pinkie's hip, watching blood drip from her waist. Pinkie let tears run down her face. "OW OW OW OW OW!" Pinkie exclaimed. Scootaloo, used to ponies fearful cries, countined to the other side. Pulling off Pinkie's other cutie mark, she flailed both hooves in the air, letting the blood spritz everywhere. Scootaloo grabbed a hot nail and a hammer, and then began to hammer the nails into the bottom of Pinkie's hind hooves. Pinkie gritted her teeth and sobbed as the hot nails boiled her blood. Scootaloo attached two electricity cords to the nails. Frowning, she pulled the electricity lever. Pinkie began to flail and thrash insanely, tears, blood, snot, and urine flinging across the room. Pinkie screamed and passed out.
Pinkie awoke, aching. Her flesh had three degree burns. Urine began to stank up the room. Fresh blood stained the walls and Pinkie. Scootaloo used a large axe to cut into Pinkie's soft stomach. Blood splashed everywhere, making Scootaloo remember her inner cannible. As Pinkie sobbed, Scootaloo stuck her muzzle into Pinkie's stomach, licking and nibbling on guts. Gut slime and blood stained Scootaloo's muzzle. Scootaloo smiled insanely, sticking a bit of stomach into Pinkie's mouth. Pinkie spat and sobbed. "Please," she rasped weakly, "stooopppp.. eettt..." Scootaloo stabbed one of Pinkie's lungs, making the pink pony cough up blood. Scootaloo flossed her teeth with a kidney, and sipped some stomach acid. Pinkie was about to die anyway, so Scootaloo began to cut up her throat. Pinkie, almost dead, drooled and hiccuped, sobbing a bit, too. Scootaloo began to smash her heart into pulp. Warm blood escaped from Pinkie's mouth and died.
Scootaloo looked at the carcass. She began to cry. "WHAT HAVE I DONE????????" she sobbed. Scootaloo gobbled down some pain killers, making her feel dopey. "Wherree'ssh the guunn.." she slurred, drunk. She wobbled throughout the room, looking for a gun. She found a small pistol, sticking it up to her ear. She pulled the trigger, blowing blood and brains out the other ear. Her eyes turned cold and rolled up into the back up her head. She too, had died.
Celestia walked into the Sugar Cube Corner. "Excuse me, miss Cake, but may I talk to Pinkie."
"Yes... of course.... she's in the basement!" Mrs. Cake said too excitedly. Celestia nodded, opening the door and walking down the steps. She flipped on a light and gasped at what she saw. A stinch of death, urine, and blood filled the air. Carcasses lay sprung out on the floor. She looked behind her and gasped. She saw Pinkie, laying there, dead. She also saw Scootaloo, laying on the floor, dead. "Oh Pinkie.." Celestia sobbed. She knew there would be no more murders in Ponyville. "I should have known... Every dead pony came here last..."
About a week later, a group of ponies came to take away the bodies. Photographers came to take pictures for the newspaper, Equestria Daily. A lovely newspony named Colorful Rainbow came to interveiw Mr. and Mrs. Cake, and even Celestia. Soon, everyone left. A few ponies wanted to condemn the place, but Celestia refused. They condemned the basement instead. Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack all hosted the funeral, on behalf of Celestia's request. "You can't spell funeral without fun!" Celestia had explained to the four ponies. A few ponies buried all the murdered ponies. They buried Scootaloo and Pinkie's on a totally different hill, and Celestia went to the graves. She cried tears of grief and mourned until 2:30 A.M. She had shared really corny jokes with Pinkie Pie, and assured Scootaloo that Rainbow Dash still liked her. She smiled and flew to her palace.
The next night, Celestia sat on her bed. She now knew Pinkie Pie was NOT the element of laughter. Luna, Cadence, and Twilight all tried to comfort Celestia, but she would argue with whatever they said. Over the days, weeks, and months, Celestia had really let herself go. Her mane was strayed, strands of it was everywhere. Her shoes had lost their shine, and were now ugly and dull. She didn't take good care of her mane, fur, and tail, so she stank and had dirty spots everywhere. One night, Luna found her in the royal bathroom, dying her mane, tail, and fur a cotton candy pink.
"Um... sister? Hath though okay? We are..." Luna inquired worridly. She gasped, realizing the princess looked exactly like Pinkamena! For the first time in a long time, Celestia looked happy, and was smiling. Tia looked at Luna, flashed an insane smile and said, "Giggle at the ghosties! Insanity IS contagous!"
