The Black Flag

by SYST3MF41LUR35

Rating: teen
Tags: Crystal Ponies, Random, Adventure, Thunderlane, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Other, Noteworthy, Sex
Length: 994

The inside story of the E.I.A, Equestria's most notorious agency under the jurisdiction of the Princess

Ever wonder why ponies gone one night or suddenly disappear?
The answer is the E.I.A or for the common pony, Equestrian Intelligence Agency, the most secretive thing under the Princess. This is an inside story of one of the agents.

Published 2013-05-05 11:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-05 11:10:02 UTC

Journal 1: Introduction

5/5/5
Location Unknown
Agent Short Circuit "System"

"You want to do what!?" Yelled my commander
I nodded, this was a lot harder than I expected.

"Better get out the black tape, then" my floor manger chuckled

"Does this mean I'm allowed to do it?" I asked nervously

"Whatever!" Barked my commander, "Just be sure to send the transcript to us when you are finished" my floor manager added

I rose up from my chair, saluted and walked out of the room. I let out a breath of relief, I had expected a lot worse. After all I was going to publish a book on my experience as a E.I.A operative. I headed down the hallway and out of the lobby, as I was leaving I noticed some hard stares coming from some of the ponies there. "damn, news travels fast" I thought to myself before leaving the Agency's building.

I stepped outside and rose my hoof to block the sun's glare. I was pretty sure I'd be spending the rest of my life in one of those rooms, being "extracted" for information. Maybe Celestia's in a good mood or something, I wasn't sure. I began to walk back to the hotel I was staying at, brainstorming along the way. I had gotten the the general idea of what I was going to do, maybe split the chapters into journals for a better sense of perspective. I reached my room and carefully opened the door, still slightly paranoid that they were coming to get me. I did a full sweep of the room twice before settling at the desk and starting to write.

Many hours later, I had only just managed to write the introduction when I ran out of ideas. Looking for inspiration, I turned on the television, switching it to the news channel. I watched for a little bit, the news channel was covering this family that lived on a apple farm, boring. I was about to turn it off when the story changed to some standoff at a shitty looking hotel.

Wait, that was MY shitty looking hotel, i got up and walked over to the window sure enough, there were CPD officers in bulletproof vests circling the building.
"The officers have know entered the building and are attempting to reason with the terrorists" the reporter on the tv said very calmly. Almost a second after she said that I could hear hooves pounding the hallway. I reached into my suitcase and pulled out my gun, carefully listening to the events occurring in the hallway. I could hear "Police, open up!" followed up by several shotgun blasts and possibly some sort of machine gun fire. I waited a few seconds before opening the door and walking out into the hallway.

It was a blood bath in the hallway, I could see two officers laying on the floor, bodies ripped apart by the shotgun pellets. I swallowed and stepped out further into the hallway, now able to see the rest of the officers, their commander was propped up against the wall, most of his head splattered against the wall behind him. There was another officer, clutching her arm laying on her side and not moving. I moved quickly towards the room the terrorists were in.

The officer who was on her side let out a feeble groan when she saw me coming, I tried to motion for her to be quiet but she let out a wail instead. I had just enough time to drop to the floor before another barrage of shotgun blasts peppered the hallway. When they stopped, I rose up and returned fire, shooting through the door, that the shotgun blasts came through. I heard a few yells and some cursing but I didn't stop shooting, I emptied the clip into the door before ducking back into cover.

Hearing nothing I kicked down the door and stopped. Two ponies lay on the floor yelling and spitting curses while clutching their wounds. Mission accomplished, i lowered my pistol and smirked. hold on a second, I could see two shotguns and a submachine gun on the floor. Two ponies and three guns? My eyes widened as the garotte wire came over my throat. My attacker and I struggled as I ran out of the air, I was panicking, punching wildly, trying to hit my attacker. I manged to get a good grip and flip over onto his back, knocking the air out of him. Before he could recover I jumped on him and wildly threw punches at his face until he was unconscious. I stood and took a few gulps before going outside and helping the wounded officer out of the building.

Reporters and paramedics alike rushed to my side to see what happened. Dang, I hated reporters always pushing around and shoving microphones into your face.

I recognized the reporter I had seen on the television as she rushed over to me.

"Sir, who are you? Who were those ponies? Who is this pony? Are you hurt?" she almost yelled into my face
I tried to to answer the best I could "My name is Short Circuit, I'm an E.I.A operative, my best guess is that those ponies were gunrunners from the Crystal Empire judging from their cutie marks and general appearance, this is a wounded officer who attempted to reason with those ponies, I am not hurt."

I let the paramedics take the officer and walked over to the CPD chief standing by a squad car.

"Shit son, E.I.A.? You guys were in on this?" the chief asked me

"No sir, I just happened to be at the right place at the right time." I responded
"In that case just stay out of trouble while we clean up, anything you need out of your room?" the chief visibly relaxed

"just my laptop, please" I told him

At least I've got something to put in my introduction.