Long Way from New Vegas

                       "To The Strongest."

                                                                                  - Alexander The Great

              I woke up, and a huge wave of pain shot through me. I kept my eyes closed, trying to remember what had happened, when I heard a sweet but authoritative voice ask "Awake?"

I instinctively reached for Maria under my pillow, but nothing was there. Without opening my eyes, I asked "Who are you?"

"I'm Princess Celestia, but who are you?" She asked, her voice turning slightly more questioning.

"Oh, so I'm Dealing with royalty? I Should be honored." I said, sarcastically "I'm the Courier. Where the fuck am I?"

"You're in the Ponyville Hospital."

      I opened my eyes and looked around. A well lit, white room. It looked like some vault med-bay, except it was a lot cleaner. Then I saw the princess. A seven foot tall, winged, pure white, four legged creature with a horn sticking out of it's head, and a wavy rainbow thingy coming off her head and out her ass. She also had a tattoo of a sun on the side of her ass. I recoiled in shock. "What... Are You?!"

           "What do you mean?" She asked, surprised. " You're a... I don't even know what you are!" I shouted. What was this thing?

  "I'm a pony. You're one too, so you should know what they are. Speaking of that, how did you get here?" She asked, Confused for some reason.

"I'm a human, and what the fu-" I stopped as I saw myself. I looked just like her, except smaller, and a different color. I lifted my hands up, only to see they weren't hands. They were Hooves, Like on a Brahmin!

"Holy. Fucking. Shit. WHAT THE FUCK!?!" I exclaimed. What was I?

"Calm down, courier." She said soothingly.

"Calm Down?! CALM DOWN!?! I'M PERFECTLY FUCKING CALM!"

"Uh..." She had no idea how to respond. I realized how I was acting and try to calm down a little.

"Sorry, but I just woke up in some hospital, in a completely different body, so excuse me if I'm a little freaked out."  I said, as calmly as I could. "What do you mean different "Different Body"?" She asked, extremely confused.

" Before I was... This, I was a human."

"Human? What's a human?" She asked, extremely confused.

"Really? You're joking, right?" I said, now as confused as she was.

"No... What's a Human?"

"Where's my satchel?" I asked, thinking I would just show her a picture. Then I remembered what had happened. "Wait, Shouldn't I be dead?"

"What do you mean?"

" I mean, I should be dead." I said, as I grabbed my satchel, or rather, tried to. Turns out, it's hard to grab things with hooves.

"Crap. How do I hold things?" I asked, a little embarrassed.

"What do you mean? Like this." She said, picking up the satchel in a way which simply wasn't possible. I tried to pick up the satchel, but I couldn't. "God dammit. Can you open it?" I asked. She opened the bag without the slightest trouble, which annoyed me. I started dragging stuff out of the satchel in very awkward ways. I finally found the photo, then then held it between my hooves, showing it to the princess.For just a moment, I could see a shocked look on her face, like "No, it couldn't be." but then it was gone.

   "What is that?" She asked, confused as ever.

"It's a human. Oh, and by the way, where's the bathroom?" I asked urgently, as I stepped out of bed. " By the way, what am I doing in here anyway? I'm not hurt."

"You were. The doctor said you suffered extreme burns and blood loss."

"Well, that makes makes sense." I muttered under my breath. " Now where's the bathroom?"

***

        Walking with hooves was hard, too say the least. A lack of toes, and freaking backwards legs! How do you walk like that?! Well, some how I reached the bathroom. Then, I noticed another problem. It should be obvious. Well, after that, I shakily stepped out into the hall way. I saw three more ponies.Two females and a male. I quietly listened to their conversation.

"You don't suppose it's some prank, or some publicity stunt?" The male said, with an "I don't want to be here, so leave me alone" look on his face.

"What about the burns? He was just laying in a crater. Not to mention, my friend Lily said she saw a giant ball of fire flying through the sky that night, and then there was the explosion itself." Argued one of the females, with a white body and pink hair.

     I Walked backed to my room and saw Celestia waiting.

"Read this," She said sternly handing me a book. "And tell me more about your past."

"Umm... Okay. Well, for starters, I was shot in the head a few years ago. I lost my memory and woke up in a small town named Goodsprings."

"Lost your memory? I know a spell that can help that."

"A What?"

"A Spell. You Know, magic."

"And this day just keeps getting weirder and weirder."