Equestria's Doom

by Nuclear Grenade

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 3302

Doom Guy finds a malfunctioning hell-gate and ends up in Equestria. Only to be joined by B.J. Blackowitz from the castle Wolfenstine.

Doom Guy, Conqueror of Hell, and Blackowitz, the American super spy, are just about to head home... Or so they think. When Doom Guy and Blackowitz find themselves in Equestria, will they be able to defeat the demons and Nazis that always seem to follow in their wake?

Published 2013-05-25 03:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-01 00:43:59 UTC

Prologue - History 101

Hello, in the off chance you reading this then congratulations on finding my journal. My name is Flynn Taggart (although most of you know me as Doom Guy) and I'm just writing down some of my thoughts as I descend deeper into Hell.

So I'll start from the beginning, After successfully beating the shit out of my commander for ordering me and my squad mates to shoot civilians. I got stuck as a replacement marine on Mars' moon Phobos. Now just to make it clear to you how much this job sucked, in the words of the guy I was replacing "With no action for fifty million miles, your day will consist of suckin' dust and watchin' restricted flicks in the rec room." Now this Hell business began on a usual day while I was in my office sitting in my spinney chair. My co-worker whose name I continued to forget, left to go check on some noises coming from the hanger control room. Later when he came back he walked, or rather fell through my offices' door because of his missing head. Now, I'm the guard at the Union Aerospace Corporation's or UAC's hanger here on Phobos and the research going on here is very important so the UAC sent the Martian Marine Unit to see what was going on. They left me to guard the hanger and their shuttle went to drop off the rest of the marines on the other side of the complex. For the next hour I sat in my office and listened to the radio and to the screams of those marines as their limbs were torn from their bodies by those demons. After the screams stopped I realized everyone but me was most likely dead so I grabbed my measly pistol and set out in hopes the shuttle hadn't taken off. After blasting my way through demons, securing some heavy weapons, and slaying the Barrens of Hell I had reached not a shuttle, but a portal of sorts. I hoped it would take me home but alas I found my self deeper in Hell so I killed any and all the demons I could find but each time I found a portal I thought would take me home I ended up even deeper in this mess. I finally reached rock bottom when I killed the Spider Mastermind and as I sit here on his corpse writing my story.

I'm about to go through the Hell-Gate so I guess I'll leave my journal here for anyone who is unlucky enough to come across it down here. So I wish you luck in escaping Hell and hope my story does not end here.

Flynn Taggart

Flynn concluded his story, rolling up the sheet of paper and placing it in the barrel of the Spider Mastermind's chain gun.

"Come on you can do this. You just fucked up Hell and now your going home. Okay here we go; three, Two, One, Go!" Flynn reassured himself as he ran and dove through the portal.

Chapter 1 - Technical Difficulties

"Alright then, that was interesting. Ah! my vision is so blurry. Is that a meadow? EARTH!? FINALLY I'M HOME!" I excitedly shouted.

Wait a second somethings off... I'm standing up but I feel... shorter? And I can't fell my hands... If only I could see. I thought.

"Ah!" I recoiled as my vision came into focus.

"Holy shit... what the fuck happened to me? Four legs and a tail... Wait... Am I a goddamn horse?" I said in disbelief, eyeing myself.

Well this just got interesting. I wonder what else has changed? I'm still wearing my combat armor so I still have my guns, good. Wait can I even shoot my guns without hands? Hm, interesting my backpack turned into a saddlebag and my armor still fits me. I continued to ponder when a town came into view. I hadn't even realized I started walking.

"Maybe I can get some answers." I said aloud proceeding onward.

"Wow, who are you?" A Light-blue mare with a rainbow colored mane said from behind me.

"Your flying... and you talked... forget interesting this just got fucking weird."

"Um, well then my name is Rainbow Dash and you must be new around here."

"You could say that. Names Flynn by the way."

"Flynn? That's a weird name."

"Right... Um where am I"

"Oh, your just outside ponyville."

"Less specific?"

"Well I don't know? Equestria?"

"Ever heard of the United States?"

"United-, what?"

"The Union Aerospace Corporation?"

"Um, no. Are you okay?"

"Yes one last question. Are you, have you ever been, or planing on being, a demon and, or spawn of Hell?"

"Um, no. Are you sure your okay?"

"Right as rain."

Rainbow and I walked through ponyville attracting the attention of everypony we passed until we came to an over-sized oak tree. She knocked on the door and we were greeted by... you guessed it a purple unicorn.

"Hi, Rainbow whose your friend?" The purple mare asked as she studied me.

"Twilight this is Flynn and I just met him he's... not from around here." Rainbow answered

"Here come inside.-" Twilight said as we entered. "-Flynn. That's an odd name."

Flynn sighed "Well actually they call me Doom Guy."

"Who does?" Rainbow inquired.

"That's not important right now. Twilight was it? Do you know why I'm here?"

"What do you mean 'here'?"

"Well one second I'm on Mars the next I'm here instead of earth."

"Interesting. I was conducting a teleportation spell and rather than sending something through my portal I felt something coming through the opposite way."

"Ah that sort-of explains it. You see I was teleporting as well so I must have somehow crossed portal locations with you."

"Um, guys you lost me. Is this good or bad?" Rainbow asked.

"Very very bad. You see I was escaping from Hell, literally, and wherever I go demons seem to follow and since I'm here..."

"...so are they." Twilight finished.

Flynn looked twilight in the eye. "You need to send me back. Now."

"Your right. Okay here we go; three... two... one... here we go."

Twilight's horn began to glow and a ball of white light formed around Me. Suddenly I was thrown backwards against the wall; luckily my armor absorbed the shock.

"Not again!" Twilight cried as I stood up in time to see another pony materialize.

"Um, hello. Who are you?" Rainbow asked the stallion who was wearing a grey trench coat.

"Ugh, why can't I see anything. Wait, who said that?" The mysterious colt said looking left and right at nothing in particular.

"Over here. And who are you?" I asked.

He looked at me and smiled. "Ah, a fellow american, I'm William B.J. Blackowitz, and tell me do you know where I can find Adolf Hitler?"

Chapter 2 - "Have we met before?"

"Damn it! Now this is just is just ridiculous. Alright look man your not in Germany the year isn't 1945 and before you ask none of us are Nazis." I explained to Will.

"Holy shit your a fucking horse! Wait... am I?" Will replied searching for presumably his gun.

"Yes." I replied

"Damn, wasn't expecting that to happen."

"Wait, you must have been teleporting if you ended up here, but we didn't discover the arc (an ancient alien teleporter that connects Mars and Earth) until fifty years ago."

"Okay, so I was sneaking into a Nazi controlled Castle to reclaim the Spear of Destiny from Hitler. I finally broke into the castles' central vault and as soon as I touched the spear I woke up here."

"Spear of Destiny? Isn't that just a myth?"

"Apparently not because that bastard found it. And um, hello who are you two?

Twilight and Rainbow stood dumbfounded looking back and forth between the two soldiers. Then a small explosion of pure energy occurred in the middle of the room throwing everyone against the walls. I had stood up and standing in the middle of the room was a laughable pony-shaped imp. Laughable accept for the fireball currently headed in my direction. I reacted on pure instinct and instantly whipped out my shotgun so fast the centrifugal force caused the gun to cock itself. Within two seconds I had dodged the fireball and the imp's head had failed to dodge ten buckshot pellets resulting in an explosion of red mist. By this time Will had stood back up and noticed the body causing him to pull out his Stg44. assault rifle.

"What was the name of Celestia was that thing?" Rainbow asked taking flight and hovering over the imp's corpse.

"That would be a demon who apparently followed me out of Hell."

"Hell? Wait you escaped Hell? Are you the devil or something?" Twilight asked as she started looking for a book that might have some answers."

"No but he's currently very pissed off because of not being able to kill me."

"Well hopefully that was the last of 'em for-" Will half finished.

"Kommen Sie mit erhobenen Händen!" Came from outside Twilight's door.

"Did anyone catch that?" Rainbow asked walking to a window.

"He said 'Come out with your hands up.' so that means there are about thirty Nazi soldiers outside who are going to kill me and probably all of you on sight." Will explained.

"Well then let's do this." I said as I pulled out my chain-gun.

"I see your a fan of chain-guns as well" Will replied as he pulled out his own equally large chain-gun.

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Will and I stepped outside and heard a clicking associated with thirty safeties switching to firing mode. Will and I were running in opposite directions unloading our chain-guns into the hoard of Mecha-Nazis when I lost sight of him as I rounded the corner and was tackled by a guard dog who landed past me. As soon as I had hit the ground I rolled and instantly pulled out my double-barrel shotgun and erased the dog from existence. I rounded another corner and was just in time to see Will slide between the two legs of a Nazi WAS (Walking Armored Suit) and toss a tesla-grenade up into the suits pilot compartment through an access hatch. Using his momentum Will stood up as the suit exploded with it's pilot only half bailed out.

"Ah, So you've done this before?" I said sarcastically as I surveyed the damage.

"You're not so bad yourself." Will replied holstering his gun.

Rainbow flew towards us and said "You guys are nuts! You just killed over twenty ponies destroyed half the town and didn't even break a sweat!"

"Bewegen Sie sich nicht!" Cried a Nazi as he pulled out his pistol and aimed it at us. In a split second Will and I had drawn our guns once more and the Nazi soldier was shaken back and forth by the mass impact of our bullets. He collapsed onto the ground and had begun to pool blood.

"Ah, I missed one." I proclaimed looking at Rainbow Dash

"That was kind of overkill." Rainbow said as she landed.

"He was dead before he hit the ground. Anyway, where's Twilight?" I asked while Will walked around collecting ammo magazines.

"She is currently looking for a spell that can fix all this and she sent me here to see if you two had any ideas." Rainbow explained.

Will stopped for a moment and staired off into space before answering, "Knowing the Nazis they probably found some old abandoned castle here and set up base; if the Spear of destiny followed me here they'll have it."

I thought on this for a moment and added, "Well the demons of Hell tend to stick near the presence of evil, so is there any extremely creepy place that has a sense of fear associated with it?"

Rainbow dash thought for a moment and realized, "The Everfree forest castle! The Everfree is so scary to everypony here that few will even go near it and the castle is abandoned so-"

"-The Nazis probably made themselves right at home." Will finished tossing me a few ammo magazines.

"Well then. To the Everfree!" I exclaimed as I started walking in a random direction before I stopped realizing I had no idea where I was heading.

Chapter 3 - Kill em' all!

Rainbow, Will and I proceeded down the path towards the Everfree forest sparking conversation here and there when finally I asked, "So do either of you have any experience dealing with demonic presences?"

"Define demonic." Rainbow replied.

"Well, if demonic means killing Hitler clones dressed in black robes and throwing balls of magic at you; than yes I suppose I do have some experience." Will said sarcastically.

"Damn, I really should have payed attention in history class. Anyway Rainbow Dash tell us about yourself." I said admiring the scenery.

"Hm, where to start. Ah okay, first off I'm a pegasus so that means I help make the weather next I'm the fastest pony in Equestria.-"

"Really how fast can you run? Because I can run seventy-five  miles an hour; probably a result of Ingesting souls and drinking random chemicals I find on the floor."

"Dude. What the fuck?" Will calmly spoke as he staired at me.

"No; I don't run I fly. How fast I fly I have no idea, but I can create a sonic rainboom. Wanna see?" Rainbow asked not waiting for an answer as she took flight. She flew higher and higher until eventually she started to dive; faster and faster until eventually an ear splitting boom had sounded from above accompanied by a rainbow colored shock wave and Rainbow Dash leaving a rainbow colored trail behind her. Just seconds before she collided with the ground she somehow pulled off a ninety degree turn and headed towards the Everfree. Before I knew it everything became a blur and I was sprinting or rather galloping full speed after her. I'll never forget the look on her face when another large boom sounded and I caught up with her, trailing a monochrome green rainbow behind me. We suddenly stopped just before colliding with a tree.

"Damn, that was a hell of a lot faster than seventy-five miles per hour; I guess it has something to do with being a pony." I said catching my breath.

"Oh my gosh, that was awesome! You just made a sonic rainboom... by galloping!" Rainbow dash complimented me setting herself down.

Around five minutes later Will showed up out of breath and complimented "God damn you; you bastard! You made me run three fucking miles to catch up with you!"

"Um guys, were here." Rainbow Dash announced quietly facing the other direction towards our destination.

"All right here's the plan. First we find the castle, second we make our way to the spear, third and most importantly: kill all son of bitches." I explained to my new friends.

"That reminds me, here Rainbow Dash. I took this MP40 off one of those Mecha-Nazis back there you'll need it." Will said removing the gun and a bag of ammo from his back and handing it to rainbow dash. Will began to explain how to operate the weapon (Remember there are no guns in Equestria!) while I surveyed the forest looking for any hell-spawn or Nazis.

"Alright I got it, I got it." Rainbow announced pushing Will away clearly annoyed.

"Alright fine then, but if I get shot by you I'm going to be pissed!" Will said drawing his Stg44 so we could proceed into the forest. Equipping my shotgun we proceeded onward into the depths of the forest.

"We've been walking forever where is this place?" Will groaned.

"Not to much further. I just get a sinking feeling something bad is going to happen." Rainbow voiced.

"Why would you say that!?" I asked angrily.

"What?"

"The sinking feeling part! Look, the Devil has a bad sense of humor and if you say something like that; we'll probably end up in-"

"Quicksand!" Will shouted suddenly.

"Well that was a little over dramatic... oh wait, your serious... God damn it! Okay, here's the plan shoot the quicksand!"

"How is that going to work!?" Will asked in a pissed off voice.

"Guys, I can fly. Why don't I just pull you out?" Rainbow inquired.

"Because It would be less badass!" I said pulling out my rocket launcher and firing it straight at my feet. The rocket exploded at the bottom of the quicksand pool flinging it everywhere and leaving us in an empty hole.

"How did that even work?" Will asked cleaning sand out of his ear.

"Yuck I got some in my mouth. Behind you!" Rainbow spat.

I spun around and was met face to face with a zombified space marine carrying a Famas assault rifle.

"Brass knuckles I choose you! Or um, spiked horse shoe?" I cried shrugging my shoulders and impaling the zombie through the head.

"Panzerschrecks; Feuer!" Came from behind us.

"Shit heads up." I said ducking.

"My turn." Will said as he pulled out a knife and threw it at the antitank soldier. It impaled his hoof and pined him to a tree.

"Holy shit dude! Here try this on for size." I offered handing Will my berserk medkit. Instantly around thirty knives flew from Will's hands and traced the outline of the Nazi's body along the tree causing him to faint from shock.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Rainbow asked lowering her MP40.

"In a Nazi prison cell. Except it was with a spoon and picture of Hitler... Look, I had a lot of free time, Okay?" Will said leaning against a rock and earning a raised I brow from us.

"Um, Will? I think you found the castle." I said starring at the rock or in actuality the mountain and the castle on top of it.

"Come on guys let's go!" Rainbow cheered as she flew towards the mountain.

"When I grow some wings I'll join you!" I yelled after her looking for another route. Carved into the side of the mountain was a set of large steel doors straight from the Phobos moon base.

"All right I need a red key card to unlock the entrance." I announced spinning around to face my friends.

"Where are we going to find a key card around?-" Will half finished.

"Never mind I have an idea!" I said pulling out my trusty chainsaw. I searched everywhere for a zombie and finally found one. Taking the chainsaw I swiftly decapitated the zombie and pulled the skin off his skull.

"Gross, what the fuck dude?" Will asked with a confused look on his face.

"Does this look red enough?" I asked ignoring them.

"What are you doing?" Rainbow asked moving out of my way.

"I wonder..." I asked aloud pushing the skull against the door causing it to open.

"So those skull key cards are actually skulls. Interesting." I said discarding the decapitated head.

"Were lost aren't we?" Rainbow asked after about fifteen minutes.

"Well yeah... I hate mazes." I said chuckling as I peaked around the corner.

"Tell me about it." Will said as he covered our rear.

When we reached a fork in the path Rainbow suggested "We should split up so we can find the exit faster."

"Demon!" will shouted and followed up with Stg44.

"I'll just be a sec, nothing can go wrong." Rainbow dash said rounding the corner.

"Wait, Rainbow that's a..." I began to yell just as she was engulfed in the green light of a teleporter, "...bad idea." Will and I ran for the teleporter but found only a wall in its place.

"Shit." We said in unison.