Chapter 1: Alicron Gak Hybrid
Disclaimer: The Story you are About to Read is Canon
Once upon a time there was a super badass Alicorn named Stew.
Stew was super cool and awesome and badass and emo, long before he went to Equestria, he was a bronycat whale of a human being who needed a mega-forklift to get around, but then he woke up in equestria and he was a super cool badass emo black and red alicorn changeling dragon crystal pony sugarcube batpony hybrid.
This is the story of him.
Stew the Alicron walked down the streets of ponyville streetwaything, whistling a fresh tune from his favorite earth video gome and also his favorite movie, a bunch of mares were following him too, and it was making him feel really edgy, he looked at them and started to say edgy things.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" the mares swooned and killed a bunch of people's eardrums.
Off in some supermarket two mares were fighting over the last baby in the store and Stew heard them fighting, so he went over to them so fast, he didn't even have to teleport since he was also part Naruto so he could just ninja teleport because he was a complete badass and the mares stopped fighting because they were honored to be in Stew's presence because he was an Alicron.
"Grrls, grrrrrls, can't we come to, like, a compromise? Why don't you share the baby? I'll even help!" Stew said.
"Okay, that sounds fine!" The mares both replied.
Stew flared up his horn and shot a laser beam at the baby, cleanly cutting it in two, both mares payed for the baby, and started eating their half.
"Thanks Stew, we can always count on you!" The mares said, mouths full of baby.
"No problem..." Stew responded.
Stew ninja teleported away, and decided to edge around some more.
As he walked down teh road his girlfriend Princess Alicorn Twilight Sparkle appeared.
"Aren't my wings pretty?" She asked Stew.
"Yes... They're very pretty... Nothing like mine..." Stew said.
Stew started to be edgy again and then decided to fly to his special castle in space above the Everfree forest which also is why the Everfree forest is different than Equestria and other places.
Stew sat on his Dark and Edgy Throne©™ and edged around. It was so edgy that his hot batpony Fluttershy slaves were starting to swoon but it's okay that they're slaves because Stew is above the law even tthough Celestia and Luna can't have slaves only people that they hire because they're inferior to Stew and have to obey the law because they're dumb and stupid and Stew is better.
Suddenly!! Princest Celestia showed up for a visit!
"Gasp!" Stew was surprised.
"Stew you're beefing a big bully now so u need 2 stahp."
“What are you talking about Celestia? I’m the hero! The good guy! And you’re totally wrong!” Stew replied, his slaves aslo agreed with him because he’s right.
“I’m saying you’re the bad guy Stew, you killed three hookers and ran over seventeen people in Manhatnan the other day, don’t act like I don’t already know.” Celestie Responded.
“Well I say you’re wrong, because you are, it’s perfectly acceptable to kill people Celsti.” Stew replied. Suddenly all the ponies in the world agreed wit h stew because he was right again because he said so.
“Well I think you’re a big bullshit bully” Celestiea whined like a bad guy.
“Hah! Only bad guys say that Celestia!” Stew said.
“YEAH!” All stews slaves agreed and so did the world.
Suddenly the slaves started to gang up on Celestia, they cornered her in the room. Celestia tried fighting back with her magyck but it didn’t work because they were immune to magic.
“Oh no!” Celestia screamed.
She tried fighting with flying and hooves too since she was alicron too, but it wasn’t good enough so she got beat up.
“Stop right there!” Someone said.
Suddenly someone burst into the room, it was Twilight Pretzels and Princest Luna!!
“Stew you’ve gone toot far, we’re braking up!” Twilight said.
“Please help me!” Celesita begged them.
So they did that and they were cool, but not as cool as Stew.
Twilight Sparkle reached out her hand hoof and picked up Celestia and smiled and then punched her back down.
“Hahahahaha! As if we would help an evil person pony like you!” Twilight laughed.
“Oh no!” Celesita said.
“Haha, that’s right Celestia! These hot-ass ponies joined my harem a long time ago! As if they would help you!” Stew yelled.
“What can we do with her master?” Luna askedd.
“Do whatever you please, I don’t have a use for her anymore.” Stew said.
“Okay!” Twilight and Luna said.
So Twilight and Luna took Celestia into Stew’s super secret sex chamber and sexed Celestia for eternity and drained all her magic powers constantly so they became really strong as well but not as strong as Stew..
Suddenly one day while Stew was edging around, someone broke through his door!
It was King Sombra!
“Oh shit King Sombra what are you doing here??!” Stew asked.
“You’ve gone too far Stew, you need to be stopped now!!!!” Sombra yelled.
“Haha! As if you could beat me, I’m a super duper alichrom edge changeling cool donut fedora god! ninja coolguy!!!!!” Stew responded.
Butt then suddenly Sombra ran up and punched the Stew in the head and it hurt!
“Ghasp! How can you hurt me?! I’m immortat?” Stew screamed in happiness.
“It’s because…” Sombra started to say.
Stew got popporn because he thought this might be long.
Sombra continued when Stew returned.
“It’s because I’m an edgy super duper high school level OC too!” Somper said.
“Whoa!!!!!!!!!?” Stew said.
“So you know what that means right?” Sombra asked.
“Yeah I do.” Stew said.
“It means we have to do an edge-off!” Stew and Somber said at the same time almost like they were psychinc or something and could read each others minds.
Will Stew win the edge-off? Will we ever find out what sexy times happen in Stew's secret sex-chamber? Will the writer decide not to continue this story? Find out next time! (or not) on Dragon Ball Z Stew the Alicron!
Chapter 3: it Get better now I promise
Chrysals the Changeling sat in the Carnerlot castle throne room with pony guards licking her hooves because she took o ver the castle and now all ponies were her slaves so she good.
“Fuck yeah ruling poniekind is grate I love it.” Chris said.
So yeah Christlsis had a cool day ruling ponys and it was fun and stuff, but suddenly Shinning arms broke down the door and said “Begone evil guy!”
And then Chrys was sad because Sining Armar is a dick and is always killing the fun and makes her sad.
“No I’m not leaving this place, you’re a jerkbaby and I don’t like you.”
So then Christals fired lazer at Shining Shoes but he decided not to get hit so he deflected with cool magic shield that shined bright like a diamond, all this diamond light was getting in Chrysalis’ eyes so she put on sunglasses and said “fuk u”
So then Changeling Queen fired more lazers at Shiner Armer and he deflected them all because he didn’t want to get hit because that would hurt pretty bad.
But then all of a sudden Cadance broke down the door again and was all like, “Guuurl, stop shooting lazers at mah hubby.”
So then Cadance joined the fight and started to fire heart lasers at Chrysalis which she ate because love is pretty damn tasty.
“Oh shit, forgot Changerling eats loves.?” Chrysalis said.
So then Cadance started to fire normal lasers instead and that hurt the Changeling queen a lot so she cry.
So then Changeling Queen fell down and started to crie because she lost fight.
“Why do I suck so much.” Chrysalis said.
“It’s because your wings aren’t pretty enough.” Cadance and Shining Armour said at the same time.
“Aw shit I’ll never have pretty wings.” Chrysalis cried.
So then Chrysalis committed Seppuku because all the more losing would dishonor famiry and that would make everyone sad.
So then Shining Armour and Cadance became the rulers of Equestria and Crystal Empire and soemtime had sexes with Chrisalis’s’ss dead body sometimes because they’re necrophiliacs secretly.
The End, no not really.
Sombera stared at Stew, with hats in his eyes, Stew knew what needed to be done.
Stew started to edge it up like an edgy guy becasue he was.
Sombrera decided to edge back a little moreee.
“Ohhhh, my life is so haaaaaaaaaaard.” Stew edged.
“My life is haaaaaaaarder, do you know how it feels to be rejected by staiiiiirrrsss? It makes you think of terribul afwle thing.” Sambab said.
Stew sas wuprised by all the edge oozing from Sopra’s beehive being, and he was all like “Guuuuurl, you can’t be mo’ edgier than me!”
So then they started to edge more seriously.
“Ther’s a thousand year old demon inside me that tells me to kill mpeople Sombar, it’s hard to think sometimes and I hussie the people I love somethines because of it, so becouse that is i learn not to love ponies and stuff.” Stew said.
“I am the thousand year old demon inside you that tells you to kill people Soba, and makes it hard to think sometimes and hurt the people you love sometimes, and because of that you’ve learned to not love ponies and stuff. I’m also possesed by a ten-thousand year old demon that tells me to tell you to do all those bad things and stuff.” Sombrat said.
Stew was lossing and he knew it, he had to take this fight up a notch and start getting physical because he was starting to feel insecure. So Stew falcon punched Sobraro in the face and it hurt a lot and Stew learned how to falcon punch because he’s actually Captain Falcon’s long lost son. And then Sombrero fell down and got hurt.
“But Stew I loved you!!!!” Sombra sed.
“...” Stew said.
Stew took out his big balloon katana and got ready to kill Sombrea but then he started 2 crie because he actually loved Sob too, and so he dropped his balloon sword and kissed the Somb and they started to turned on so they ran to Stew’s bedroom and had sexes for eternity and had babies 2 the end maybe no? authors note; actually just learn guy can’t get pregnat so forget that one part sorry i dumb and also story not over yet so sorry for horribleness.
Chapter 4: I'm done now k WARNING: NEW FREE DLC ADDED TO CHAPTER NOW PLS READ OR YOU MAKE STEW SAD
Once upon a time the Mane-iac s-caped from the comic book and then started attacking the Canterlost for funsies.
But then Discord showed up and made out woth maneiac and they did the sex'd.
Writerguyman sat at his desk staring at the mostly blank text document.
"Well then this is quite the predicament I seem to have ranned out of ideas." Writerguyman said.
Writerguyman sat at the desk and thought about the meaning of life for a while to kill some time and get ideas, but nothing came to him.
"Wowe sounds like stroy dead alread." Writerguyman said.
So Writerguyman decided to give up on his story "Discord Makes fanfiction" the end so sorry, he also commit suicide because he depress.
THE END
Writerguyman retired to hotel and live happy
Stew live happily with Sombrey and emo slave pones 4 lyf and actually do get babies nd live 4eva
Celest eventually join stew and Twilit Lun and Celst join emo slave pones 4 kinky bondge time
The changelings and queen surrend and r become slaves of ponykind forever
Maneiac X Discrod is my OTP now you can't stop me
THE END
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY PLS HAVE NEW FREE DLC BELOW
Youtube Video
NEW DLC COMING SOON MAYBE WHO KNOWS, YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO PAY FOR THOSE TOO SORRY
