An Apple Family Tradition
The Apple Family Reunion was in full swing. The festivities were being run by Applejack, who was having a grand time telling anyone who would listen stories of her exploits with her friends. Apple Juice, a relatively young member of the family, seemed the most interested in her wild tales.
The very moment the clock struck two, the many members of the Apple Family began gathering around a stage set up in front of the barn. It was a stage adorned only with a table and two chairs, but everyone knew what it was for.
Applejack jumped up on stage and clapped her hooves. "Awright, ev'rypony, settle down!"
The idle chatter slowly died down, and everypony present watched Applejack with expectant eyes.
"I reckon y'all know what we're doin' here. It's time for the Apple Family Drinking Contest!"
This elicited a wild cheer from the assembled ponies.
"Now, I know most'a y'all know how we pick the participants, but for those'a you who don' know, we pick 'em by lottery." She picked up a large bingo cage that was sitting in front of the stage and put it down, then gave it a spin.
"Aaaaaaaaawwwright, Apples! Let's see who we get!"
Two wooden balls plunked down out of the cage. Applejack picked them up. "...Big Macintosh...and Braeburn!"
Another cheer sounded, longer and louder than the last, as the two aforementioned stallions stepped onto the stage and took a seat opposite each other at the table.
"Now, y'all know the rules. Ya gotta pick somepony ta say 'when' for ya when ya cain't say it yerself. Big Macintosh, who ya gonna pick?"
"I'll go with Honeycrisp."
Honeycrisp all but burst with joy. She trotted up to the stage, reddish gold braid swinging freely about her shoulders, with a red and white checked bandanna around her neck.
"Little excited, Honey?" Applejack chuckled.
"You can darn well bet!" She reared and let out a hearty "Yeeeeeee-haaaaaw!" Echoed by the rest of the family.
"I think she's a mite excited. Braeburn? Who do you pick?"
"Me? Well, ah think ah'm gonna go with..." He paused dramatically. "Dunno, think I'm feelin' a mite sappy. Winesap, to be exact."
Winesap jumped onto the stage from the front row. Her russet mane hung free about her shoulders, flowing out from under a weather-beaten ten-gallon hat.
"Nice'a ya ta pick me, Braeburn. Considerin' what ya did ta mah crop last fall."
"Hey now, that was an accident and ya know it. It was more yer fault for-" Braeburn's statement was cut short by a swift elbow in the ribs from his partner.
"'Nough'a that. Now, we all know the rules. The one who taps out first loses. If ya manage ta break the champion's record..." Applejack tapped her chest with her hoof. "Of three kegs, you become the new champion an' get ta run the next contest. The drink is chosen by the current champion. I'm sure y'all would like a little variety, but I bet ya know what I'm gonna pick." Applejack whistled, and two kegs were brought up on stage. "Mah very own Applejack Special!"
Another cheer mingled with a few pained groans. Some ponies present had felt the effects of an Applejack Special hangover first hand, and it was not pretty.
Applejack Special was relatively simple. It was a hard cider (very, very hard) made from a special kind of apple Applejack grew herself. The brewing process was a secret, and she wouldn't reveal it to anyone.
"Awright. Team Mac, ya ready?"
Big Mac nodded once, whereas the always-hyper Honeycrisp practically bounced in anticipation.
"Team Braeburn, ya ready?"
Braeburn and Winesap gave each other a high-hoof and nodded.
Applejack filled two glasses. "Awright. Git ready, git set..."
The contest continued for almost an hour. Both combatants drank slowly; Applejack Special was not kind to fast drinkers. It seemed even the entire time, but then, on his eighteenth glass, halfway into his second keg, Winesap turned Braeburn's glass upside-down, tapping him out.
"That's it! Glasses down!" Applejack thrust Honeycrisp and Big Mac's hooves into the air. "Team Big Macintosh wins the contest!"
"Uhhg...thaest's guod..." Big Mac toppled over, out cold.
"Well, you know what being their partner means."
"Gotta take care of the next day hangover," Winesap sighed.
"Well, let's enjoy the rest of our day!" Applejack reared, as Honeycrisp had, and let out a hearty "Yeeeeeee-haaaaaw!", which was again echoed by the rest of the family.
The next morning, Braeburn woke up with surprisingly little headache. He looked around the room and saw Winesap sitting on a barrel, rear legs crossed, hat tipped down over her eyes, leaning back with a piece of hay protruding from her mouth.
"Mornin', sugarcane," She said without looking at him. "Had me a little worried."
"Why?"
"'Cause you've been out for a whole day."
"A whole day? As in, sunrise to sunset day?"
Winesap shook her head. "Nope. Full 24 hours, I'm afraid."
"Oh mah word..." Braeburn sat up. "This ain't AJ's barn."
"Welcome to Winesap Orchards."
Braeburn was incredulous. "Why'm I here?"
Winesap pushed her hat back into place. "Ah broughtcha back."
"But why?"
Winesap dismounted her barrel. "You should be glad ya weren't awake for whatcha did. Suffice it ta say you owe me a lot."
"What'd I do?"
Winesap sighed heavily, then proceeded to weave a tale about putting superglue in her cider pressers, hanging her chickens upside-down from trees, and a few other, less acceptable offenses.
"Good enough for ya?"
"Oh mah...wow, I...Winesap, I-"
"Shut up," She snapped. "I don't want any lip from you, ya hear? You will do exactly what I say, when I say, until I say your debt is cleared."
"Okay, okay. Ah-Ah'll get started now!"
"Damn straight," Winesap snarled. "Get out there and harvest some apples."
Braeburn immediately went outside. He didn't feel like he had any remote room to argue. He had, after all, regardless of the state he had been in, destroyed Winesap's barn.
Her first and only barn that she had built herself.
END.