Discord's New Toy

I looked down at the sleeping human. Drowning someone's mind in chocolate milk is a sure fire way to get them to stop thinking. I cackled at the thought, then quickly stopped, wondering how thin the walls in this place were. I resumed my work preparing Isaac for Equestria. Everything needed to be just so, to cause the exact right amount of chaos. Chaos. Chaos chaos chaos. I LOVE that word. Focus! "First up, I should remove that memory of me in my draconequus form. Next up is... language barrier deleted, check! iPhone, check! Entire apartment, Check! Alright. Everything is perfect. Now just a little inter-dimensional transportation spell and...huh. I sounded like Twilight." I chuckled at that before snapping my fingers and throwing me, Isaac, and Isaac's crap into the void. We came out on the other side with a bang and the smell of flatulence. I threw a few colored flashes of light in for good measure. Wouldn't want Isaac and the ponies to take too long to find each other. It was the dead of night, so I made sure to make the bang extra loud, just to wake up any denizens of Ponyville who were still sleeping. Luckily, the sleep spell I put on Isaac wouldn't wear off for a while. I chuckled with delight at Isaac's snoring figure before teleporting back to Fluttershy's cottage.

As I climbed into my bed, I heard a small"ahem." I froze and slowly turned around, looking at a bleary eyed Fluttershy. I just kind of chuckled and said, "Did you hear that? I went out to investigate. Sounded like it came right out of the Everfree Forest. Hopefully it wasn't anything spooky, or Celestia forbid, a monster." I put on a winning smile. She just continued to look at me, apparently deciding whether or not to use the Stare. I hoped she wouldn't. It doesn't have much of an effect on me, but it's still unnerving. She eventually broke into a smile and said, "Well, I'm glad you decided to look into the matter. What did you find?" Uh-oh. I almost stuttered when I said, "Oh, I think it may have been a phoenix. They make an awful racket when they decide to die and rise from their ashes." I flashed her my most innocent smile again. She nodded in satisfaction and said, "Well, that's a rare sight to see. Maybe I'll take my friends to the site tomorrow. I'm sure Twilight would appreciate another chance to restock on phoenix ashes. It's been a while since Philomena molted."

I just answered with another smile and curled up into bed.

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I woke up looking at my mottled gray ceiling. The little familiar mold clusters and water stains were comforting, especially after that weird dream. Wait. Oh SHIT! I didn't set my alarm last night!

I sprang out of bed and sprinted down the hall, throwing on my business attire as I went. There would be no time for breakfast or a shower this morning, I just needed to swipe on some deodorant and get out the door. I ran back into my bedroom for my iPhone and glanced out the window. What I saw was not Seattle. It was... green. And vibrant. I saw a raccoon scurry by, giving me a passing glance as he went off to do whatever it is raccoons do.

"Still dreaming." I said out loud. I was relieved. But I probably needed to wake up soon. The next song on my playlist should be going off any min-

I suddenly heard a gunshot. Followed shortly by maniacal laughter and two words repeating over and over.  "Oh God." I slowly turned to stare wide-eyed at my iPhone. Like an idiot, I didn't check the time. I wasn't late. Not that it mattered. I probably wasn't going to show up for work for quite a while.

I sat down in the middle of my bedroom floor and just stared out the window. "City's breaking down on a camel's back...They'll just have to go 'cause they don't know whack..." I reached over and pulled my phone off of its perch. It was hard to wrap my mind around it all. I HAD to be dreaming. Right? I pinched myself. It kind of hurt. I slammed my head against my briefcase. It really hurt. Okay. Not dreaming. Now what do I do? Do I call for help? I checked my phone. No service. How did I even get out here? I can understand kidnapping me, but my apartment too? All of my belongings? What am I gonna do for food and water? Where WAS I exactly?

My ear twitched when I heard something other than wildlife. I thought I heard voices. I ran to the kitchen and leaned over the sink to look out the window. There was a path, a small way away from where my apartment sat. I heard voices coming from there, female. It sounded like there were several of them. I was about to shout for help when I caught sight of them. They were walking on all fours and were in technicolor. "What the fuck are those things?" The longer I stared, the more my mind tried to reject what I was seeing. I was looking at real live, honest to God, talking horses. Ponies said a small voice in the back of my head. Yeah, they were ponies. Way too small to be a horse. I just turned around, sat at my kitchen table, and stared at the woodwork. Then I heard a shout. And a thundering of pony hooves coming straight for me.

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Fluttershy walked along the path in confusion, her friends trailing behind her. "Discord told me it came from this direction. This is a strange place for a phoenix to nest. This isn't very deep in the Everfree." Applejack replied with,"Well, Ah don't know much about phoenixes, but maybe it was on it's way back to the nest?"

"Well, that's not unheard of, but when it rose it was just baby phoenix. Oh, I hope nothing tried to hurt the poor dear." All of the ponies looked worried, except Pinkie Pie, who said, "Well then, let's not dilly dally! Maybe Philomena will finally have another phoenix to hang out with! Although, I feel like it's not a phoenix... in fact, I've been shaking all day! Ooh! I think it's a doozy!" Twilight, with her newfound respect for Pinkie Sense, looked nervous at that. "I was excited to restock on phoenix ashes, but I'm  thinking that this probably won't be a phoenix. Should we go back for the Elements?"

Rainbow Dash did a mid-air 180 to run around and look at the rest of the group. "It's probably just some weird creature. We never use the Elements to take care of monsters. Besides, you've got me here!" She struck a heroic pose and flashed a daring grin. They all chuckled at that, albeit nervously. Rarity followed up with, "Like the way you took care of that awful dragon?" They all laughed, including Rainbow Dash. Nervousness forgotten, Applejack said, "Well Ah can't wait to see it. Maybe a new kinda of animal showed up last night. Do y'all think it can talk?" She had no idea just how right she was.

As they neared the area Discord pointed out to her last night, Fluttershy got the sudden sense that they were being watched. She turned and looked into the trees, noticing a strange mottled gray structure. Before she could say anything however, Rainbow Dash shouted, "Hey! What's that?" They all turned to look. Fluttershy thought she saw a figure in one of the windows disappear before the rest had a chance to see it. She decided not to point it out. She didn't want to scare her friends, but she did say, "Let's approach it carefully and try not to startle anything that could be ins-" She was interrupted by Pinkie suddenly bouncing forward, much to the exasperation of the rest of the group. "Pinkie!" They called out in unison, "Wait!" She didn't hear over the excited blood buzzing in her ears. This was a brand new building in the middle of the Everfree! Could it be a zebra? Or maybe it's something they'd never seen before!

Pinkie was followed by a thundering of hooves following her to the door. They reached what they supposed was the front entrance. A large painted metal door with a peephole stuck in the middle. It looked like it was for something much larger than a pony, Twilight noted with caution. She went on to say, "Okay, now let's investigate the place before we-" She was interrupted by Pinkie's hoof banging on the door. "-do anything stupid. Oh no."