Discord's New Toy

by LokiPon3

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 12976

Discord brings a human to Equestria. A harmless bit of chaos ought to to do his new friends some good, and bringing an unknown entity into their midst should be just the thing. Right?

Being the spirit of chaos I'm not entirely one with the world. More of an entity than a boring physical being, I'll occasionally transcend the borders of this place and explore. Just when I'm feeling bored, though. Infinite knowledge isn't all it's cracked up to be. That's when I stumbled upon a certain universe with weird pink monkeys that have an affinity for conflict, but also… ugh. Love. Hmm. Just like ponies, right? I don't see anything wrong with bringing just one to Equestria…

And thanks very much to Urnam, who allowed me to use his awesome pic for the cover art! Check him out: http://xurnam.deviantart.com/art/Discord-288448815

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-19 06:47:47 UTC

Prologue: Oh This Not-So-Crazy Life of Mine

Well. This is nice I suppose. But literally being the incarnation of chaos can make everything quite boring. Even though I love my new life (complete with friends!) I still have the need to create chaos. Asking me not to make a little bang every now and then is like asking Pinkie Pie to stop throwing parties. It. Won't. Happen.

But seriously. Sleeping in, hanging out with Fluttershy, doing chores, and buying chicken feed is way too stable of a life for me. The look on the face of the feed store owner was novel at first, but quickly became boring, as with all things lacking a certain amount of disorder. *sigh*

But then I got to thinking about the mysteries of the universe. For me, this is unprecedented. At least, it was a thousand years ago. Being a statue makes you think. Anyway, as I scattered the feed in the small yard in front of the coop, I thought about what it would be like if left this plane of existence. "Hey!" I thought, "I haven't done that since I gained awareness! That was at least quarter of a million years ago! Hmm, where should I-

"Discord?" A gentle voice behind me asked, somewhat concerned, "Why are you just standing there?"

"Oh! Hello my dear. Being a statue for over a thousand years can make one rather, ah meditative."

"Well don't let me distract you," Fluttershy said sweetly. Then she eyed the half full bag of feed in my talon and said, "Maybe you should save your meditation session until after you've fed the chickens. Unless... you don't want to that is... I can finish up here if you want." She flashed me a smile that practically forced me to smile back.

Of course I refused her, what with that smile and those big blue eyes. Hmm. Maybe she's a little more devious than her friends would initially suppose.

I then set to work, smiling somewhat mischievously, keeping in mind the beginning of a perfect plan to blow a distant afternoon.

But not this afternoon. The rest of the day passed without incident, unfortunately. I needed to go into town to buy carrots and other various vegetables and tubers for that infernal rodent, Angel. BORING! I then needed to stop by Twilight's and pick up a copy of The Psychology of Rabbits and Other Small Rodents, as if that would actually help with anything. BORING! Then I had to do some MORE chores at the Apple farm due to a certain frozen lake mishap. Again, BORING! Hanging out with ponies who actually enjoy my company and occasional tricks is nice and everything, but it gets slightly grating after a while.

As I walked down the rows of apple trees, snapping as I went, I thought of a delightful little analogy Pinkie Pie told me. As long as you get the batter right, you can add anything your heart desires to your cake. I just apply it to life, and boom! Chaos that ends with pure velvety bliss. Sometimes. If done wrong, you end up with pure, stony imprisonment. I stopped and watched the apples fall out of a tree I snapped at land in buckets that materialized just before they hit the ground. Chaos is like a spice. If you add too much to your 'cake', everything is ruined. It tastes like crap and no one likes you. Pinkie is wiser than she seems at first glance, although her cake analogy was somewhat crude. Either way it got the point across. Don't go overboard, people will like me. Seems respectable.

But I didn't do anything particularly chaotic. Not on purpose at least. I decided to save my considerable amount of power for a trek into the semi-unknown. The prefix is due to my lack of attention the first time I went Outside. It was mainly just me marveling at how awesome I was and wondering how the hell I was supposed to get back. Interesting, nonetheless. And very chaotic, I recalled with a devious grin.

Uh- oh. I probably should have been paying attention to what I was doing. I looked up at the apples I was supposed to be picking and saw bunches of bananas instead. What can I say? I'm the spirit of chaos. With a snap of my lion paw, I changed them back into Red Delicious apples and resumed picking as if nothing had happened. I decided to leave at least one banana and put it near the bottom of the basket just as Applejack moved past me on to her way to the next tree. She flashed me a grin that I returned, only slightly satisfied with my little joke.

Now, I rarely get angry. I used to get miffed at trivial things, like getting turned into a statue or someone deciding to reverse my perfect chaos. Nowadays, I really only reserve my hate, my anger, and general antipathy for a certain white rodent, with big floppy ears, a pink nose, and a fluffy little cotton tail. The absolute picture of evil.

I walked into the cottage and unpacked the groceries. Looking at the sun sink low in the sky, casting an orange glow on everything made me decide that it was feeding time. It would be much easier without-

"Angel!" I shouted as the offending devil-spawn knocked the bowls I was planning on filling with kibble out of my mismatched paw and claw. He looked at me expectantly, as if he were the one that needed feeding first. I returned his angry stare with relish. Extra relish. No literally, a heaping pile sweet pickle relish was hovering just above his upright ears. I morphed my face from smoldering fury to an almost maniacal glee as I snapped my fingers, causing the little shit to start slightly. He looked at me smugly for a split second before being buried up to his ears in relish.

I turned the bowls upright and snapped my talon, summoning green kibble from the freshly stocked pantry to fill the bowls, all while chortling at the stunted rodent digging his way out of relish. Still laughing, I rang the dinner bell much to the delight of some of the more tolerable creatures. I smiled at them as they came in, and they smiled back as they ran, flew, and in the tortoises' case, struggled to the kibble. I then felt a tiny kick between my mismatched wings as a small but furious rabbit attempted to destroy me.

Instead of turning him into skittles for the affront, which the old me would have done, I just pointed to a a corner of the room, in which a small table with a checkered table cloth popped into existence. Along with a salad resting on a silver platter, several small bottles of dressings flew in from their various places in the kitchen and landed on the table. Complete with a lit candle. Angel glared at me suspiciously before a grudging smile appeared on his face.

Then Fluttershy came down the stairs and stared at Angel for a moment. Luckily, that gave me  enough time to whisk the relish pile on the floor out of existence. She immediately ordered him to take a bath, seeing as how he was still covered in the stuff. I wholeheartedly agreed, and teleported to the bathroom to start a tap. I watched with a smug grin as he reluctantly came into the bathroom, only doing so at the threat of no dinner. He flashed me a look that said, "I will kill your entire family." That would have been scary, if I had a family. Or cared about them for that matter.

As I was walking down the stairs, Fluttershy asked, "Did you have anything to do with the relish?"

"Of course not." I said with a mischievous smile.

At that, we both burst into laughter. Well, I did. Fluttershy more quietly chuckled while hiding behind her mane. "Well, I thought, "Maybe I *do have a family."*

Chapter 1: A New Perspective

I woke up to the pleasant noise of Stylo. It's a nice thing to wake up to. I reached up through the haze my sleep encrusted eyes were passing off as "sight" and wrapped my clammy hand around my iPhone . I yanked the only expensive thing I own off the tinny speakers. I turned off The Gorillaz and my hand rested there for another second before I remembered I had this thing called a job. With a sigh, I quickly rolled over, sat up and swung my legs off the bed.  I looked at the gray walls of my crappy little apartment. They were probably white at one point. I had no money for paint, so I stopped giving a shit about three seconds after first entering the place five years ago. A 23 year old man who just graduated from college with a liberal arts degree should be living the high life. All that fucking degree I worked my ass off for amounted to was a job sitting behind a desk at some crappy mechanical pencil company. Well, everyone has to start somewhere right? Hopefully I wouldn't end up starting and stopping here. I mean, I was LITERALLY a pencil pusher.

I shambled down the hallway like a zombie looking for brains. I turned right and shoved the door to the kitchen open and found my best appliance, the electric coffee pot. Oh baby, don't fail me now. I set that up, since I couldn't afford one of those fancy ones that starts making coffee when your alarm goes off. Student loans are a bitch, especially your first year out of uni. I should have just gone with community. Whatever. It is what it is. And it isn't high times.I popped some bread into the toaster and headed across the hall to the bathroom. The hot water helped invigorate me, especially with its' sporadic spurts of cold water. Ah, what a day. I toweled off and decided to hold off on brushing my teeth, since coffee tastes like butt after toothpaste has invaded your mouth. I held off on cream and put a little bit of sugar in my mug. After devouring my toast that tasted like and felt like carpet, I brushed my teeth, threw on some khakis, a striped button up shirt, and a black tie. Sighing as I grabbed my briefcase and stepped lazily into my loafers, I prepared for another invigorating day.

For some reason, I was in a cheerful mood by the time I got to work. It was a pretty nice day, and I had decided to start working out after work. I even bought a few old tae-kwon-do tapes. Maybe that had something to do with it. That all changed as soon as my eyes landed on the fat little woman that was my boss. She pretended like she wielded some sort of authority over people around her, even her superiors. She was infuriating, doubly so, since she stood only four and a half feet off the ground. Or less. I've got nothing against short people, or really any type of person. The only reason it makes it so much worse is really because she has to stand on her tip toes to snap her fingers in my face, which she does to everyone. Being five foot ten didn't help my case. Too short to be considered threatening, too tall to stay on eye level with my boss.

Fat pink fingers snapping in my face snapped me out of my reverie. I looked down at my boss, who had decided to dye her hair red over the weekend. She also stenciled her eyebrows and wore way too much eye shadow, along with a toner that was practically white. All in all, she looked kind of like a clown. Not enough to be funny, but enough to cause double takes. Near the end of the day she would always sweat too much and-

"Miller!" She yelled shrilly, even though I was literally right in front of her.

"Yes, Ms. Dodds?" Okay. Just the right amount of drawl. Enough to annoy, not enough to make angry.

With an annoyed gesture she shoved some order forms into my hands. Christ, again? Just when I thought today would be better, she shoves her work from last week on me. Of course they're all late, so I'll have to get these done before I can get to my own orders. Great. Looks like another skipped lunch break. Whatever. just do it and get it over with as quickly as possible.

"I expect those to be on my desk by no later 3 p.m. No excuses, understood?" She looked like she was a teacher looking down on a kindergarten student. I was tempted to grab her forehead and hold her there while she tried to get into her office, but I like money and food, so I decided against it.

"You got it Ms. Dodds."

Finally, the day came to an end. I was hungry after that skipped lunch break, so I grabbed a sandwich from the cafe down the street. I sat down at an outdoor table and watched the sun set over Seattle. Living here for five years and I could never get over that view. I sighed and thought about how lucky I was that I had found a job so close to my apartment. I didn't even need a car. I was getting close to being able to afford a nicer apartment. Those happy thoughts were utterly obliterated when a bird crapped on my pant leg.

I unlocked and locked my door, threw my pants at the hamper, and traded my work attire for jogging shorts, tennis shoes, and a plain white t-shirt. I looked outside and decided to bring a flashlight with me. Fall was slowly sucking the daylight out of the days and the streetlights were fickle about turning on sometimes. I ran about ten blocks with no stops. I was pretty proud of myself, so I decided to stop and look at a bookstore that sold antique books. I love the smell of old paper, especially after a run.

I didn't really look around all that much, just went up and down a few comfortably cramped aisles. I left without buying, much to the chagrin of the pimple infested teenager behind the counter. I ran ten blocks back to my house, using my flashlight about halfway there. I passed an elderly couple out for a stroll and saw some kids smoking in an alley, who promptly threw away whatever they were smoking as soon as they saw me looking. One of them said something about it being legal. The other called him an idiot and said something about being seventeen. I remember those days.

You could see the Space Needle from pretty much anywhere in the city. Night time was no exception. They lit that thing up like the Fourth of July. It was truly spectacular. Distracted by the towering structure a few miles away, I accidentally ran into a man wearing a black business suit and deep red tie. I turned to apologize and saw he had steel gray hair, golden irises, and small straight goatee. I was still somehow able to perceive all this in the almost dead light. While stammering out an apology, I noticed a strange button on his lapel. A bright red circle, with arrows emanating from the center, going out in all directions. Huh. I don't think I've heard of that organization.

He just smiled and said,"Oh, think nothing of it my dear man. A little bit of chaos is bound to happen at some point in our lives." He said the word 'chaos' with an almost lusting tone. Yeah, the guy was smooth, but really creepy. Who talks like that anymore? Why am I thinking so hard about this? I've got delicious food at the house, along with Gatorade and cable. I smiled at him and hurried off, my pace quickening after the encounter with the strange gentleman.

Arriving at my apartment gasping for breath, I wondered why I had increased my pace so much. That guy must have just set me on edge, for whatever reason. I don't know why. Anyone who could afford a suit like that didn't go around mugging joggers at night. Well whatever. I decided to forego cable in favor of one of my tae-kwon-do tapes. I paused the tape to grab some of that Gatorade. I grabbed some sandwich stuff as well. After finishing the routine, I ate the  sandwich I had made and finished the small green bottle of electrolytey goodness. I took another shower, brushed my teeth and got into bed. One down, five more to go. Then it'll finally Sunday.

That night I dreamed of that guy in the suit. I was jogging in place, but all of my memories were passing me by, in some sort of misty film. They came from farther down the street. Too far to see the end of them. All of my experiences, my innermost thoughts and feelings. My soul. The man just stood off to the side, clinically observing, but I sensed that this was just a facade. One put on in an attempt to emulate professionalism, when in reality, all he wanted was something to alleviate his boredom. I couldn't fault him there. But I didn't like what he was doing. This is my soul we're talking about here. "Hey!" I said, "What the hell do you think you're doing here?" I had stopped jogging at this point, and turned to stare at the man with the strange button on his lapel.

He looked at me in surprise, and suddenly smiled saying, "Sweet Celestia, you frightened me. All the others I've looked at so far seem to be ignorant of my presence." I didn't like the way he said 'others'.

"You shouldn't spy on people. These are my most personal thoughts." At that, I halted the ethereal film passing me by and looked straight into his eyes. What I saw there, wasn't evil. Just...chaotic. And also, mirthful. Like he enjoyed laughing at others, but not so much to hurt them. Suddenly I was no longer feeling threatened. Although that changed slightly when he scowled at the halted memories. Then he smiled again and said,"Well, you're quite unlike these other creatures, aren't you? Not a single one has stopped me from looking into their very cores."

"Who are you?"

"Your kind has many names for me. Discord, Chaos, Loki, to name a few. Your people are aware of me, although I have not been fully aware of you until just recently."

I was surprised to say the least, but hey, this is dreamland, so anything goes. "You mentioned...Loki? Are you a god?"

"No, Loki is a god. One who apparently brought about the end of the universe. I am no god. A god rules over his people, provides for them, demands sacrifice, pain, and prayer from them, and blows them up if he's feeling really squirrelly. I don't bother with that. I just do things. And the effect is rather amusing. In fact, you could say it's what I live for."

"So what do I call you?"

He thought for a few moments. "Kane would be preferable."

"Alright Kane, what do you want?"

"Oooooh, straight to the point, hm? I like you. What's your name?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Yes I did. In fact I answered two of them." Followed by another slightly creepy smile.

"No you di- wait. Okay. Never mind. My name is Isaac Miller.

"Alright Isaac Miller, let's get started shall we?"

I barely had time to say "What?" When he snapped his fingers and turned into a monstrosity that scared the living crap out of me. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I tried to scream, but couldn't. Ah. THIS scenario. The one where you're so terrified in a dream that you can't move or speak. A nightmare. The realization did nothing to alleviate my terror when inky black liquid began rapidly flooding the street, and in turn, my mind. Wait... not black. Brown. And really cold. Chocolate milk?

Chapter 2: No, Seriously. What?

I looked down at the sleeping human. Drowning someone's mind in chocolate milk is a sure fire way to get them to stop thinking. I cackled at the thought, then quickly stopped, wondering how thin the walls in this place were. I resumed my work preparing Isaac for Equestria. Everything needed to be just so, to cause the exact right amount of chaos. Chaos. Chaos chaos chaos. I LOVE that word. Focus! "First up, I should remove that memory of me in my draconequus form. Next up is... language barrier deleted, check! iPhone, check! Entire apartment, Check! Alright. Everything is perfect. Now just a little inter-dimensional transportation spell and...huh. I sounded like Twilight." I chuckled at that before snapping my fingers and throwing me, Isaac, and Isaac's crap into the void. We came out on the other side with a bang and the smell of flatulence. I threw a few colored flashes of light in for good measure. Wouldn't want Isaac and the ponies to take too long to find each other. It was the dead of night, so I made sure to make the bang extra loud, just to wake up any denizens of Ponyville who were still sleeping. Luckily, the sleep spell I put on Isaac wouldn't wear off for a while. I chuckled with delight at Isaac's snoring figure before teleporting back to Fluttershy's cottage.

As I climbed into my bed, I heard a small"ahem." I froze and slowly turned around, looking at a bleary eyed Fluttershy. I just kind of chuckled and said, "Did you hear that? I went out to investigate. Sounded like it came right out of the Everfree Forest. Hopefully it wasn't anything spooky, or Celestia forbid, a monster." I put on a winning smile. She just continued to look at me, apparently deciding whether or not to use the Stare. I hoped she wouldn't. It doesn't have much of an effect on me, but it's still unnerving. She eventually broke into a smile and said, "Well, I'm glad you decided to look into the matter. What did you find?" Uh-oh. I almost stuttered when I said, "Oh, I think it may have been a phoenix. They make an awful racket when they decide to die and rise from their ashes." I flashed her my most innocent smile again. She nodded in satisfaction and said, "Well, that's a rare sight to see. Maybe I'll take my friends to the site tomorrow. I'm sure Twilight would appreciate another chance to restock on phoenix ashes. It's been a while since Philomena molted."

I just answered with another smile and curled up into bed.

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I woke up looking at my mottled gray ceiling. The little familiar mold clusters and water stains were comforting, especially after that weird dream. Wait. Oh SHIT! I didn't set my alarm last night!

I sprang out of bed and sprinted down the hall, throwing on my business attire as I went. There would be no time for breakfast or a shower this morning, I just needed to swipe on some deodorant and get out the door. I ran back into my bedroom for my iPhone and glanced out the window. What I saw was not Seattle. It was... green. And vibrant. I saw a raccoon scurry by, giving me a passing glance as he went off to do whatever it is raccoons do.

"Still dreaming." I said out loud. I was relieved. But I probably needed to wake up soon. The next song on my playlist should be going off any min-

I suddenly heard a gunshot. Followed shortly by maniacal laughter and two words repeating over and over.  "Oh God." I slowly turned to stare wide-eyed at my iPhone. Like an idiot, I didn't check the time. I wasn't late. Not that it mattered. I probably wasn't going to show up for work for quite a while.

I sat down in the middle of my bedroom floor and just stared out the window. "City's breaking down on a camel's back...They'll just have to go 'cause they don't know whack..." I reached over and pulled my phone off of its perch. It was hard to wrap my mind around it all. I HAD to be dreaming. Right? I pinched myself. It kind of hurt. I slammed my head against my briefcase. It really hurt. Okay. Not dreaming. Now what do I do? Do I call for help? I checked my phone. No service. How did I even get out here? I can understand kidnapping me, but my apartment too? All of my belongings? What am I gonna do for food and water? Where WAS I exactly?

My ear twitched when I heard something other than wildlife. I thought I heard voices. I ran to the kitchen and leaned over the sink to look out the window. There was a path, a small way away from where my apartment sat. I heard voices coming from there, female. It sounded like there were several of them. I was about to shout for help when I caught sight of them. They were walking on all fours and were in technicolor. "What the fuck are those things?" The longer I stared, the more my mind tried to reject what I was seeing. I was looking at real live, honest to God, talking horses. Ponies said a small voice in the back of my head. Yeah, they were ponies. Way too small to be a horse. I just turned around, sat at my kitchen table, and stared at the woodwork. Then I heard a shout. And a thundering of pony hooves coming straight for me.

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Fluttershy walked along the path in confusion, her friends trailing behind her. "Discord told me it came from this direction. This is a strange place for a phoenix to nest. This isn't very deep in the Everfree." Applejack replied with,"Well, Ah don't know much about phoenixes, but maybe it was on it's way back to the nest?"

"Well, that's not unheard of, but when it rose it was just baby phoenix. Oh, I hope nothing tried to hurt the poor dear." All of the ponies looked worried, except Pinkie Pie, who said, "Well then, let's not dilly dally! Maybe Philomena will finally have another phoenix to hang out with! Although, I feel like it's not a phoenix... in fact, I've been shaking all day! Ooh! I think it's a doozy!" Twilight, with her newfound respect for Pinkie Sense, looked nervous at that. "I was excited to restock on phoenix ashes, but I'm  thinking that this probably won't be a phoenix. Should we go back for the Elements?"

Rainbow Dash did a mid-air 180 to run around and look at the rest of the group. "It's probably just some weird creature. We never use the Elements to take care of monsters. Besides, you've got me here!" She struck a heroic pose and flashed a daring grin. They all chuckled at that, albeit nervously. Rarity followed up with, "Like the way you took care of that awful dragon?" They all laughed, including Rainbow Dash. Nervousness forgotten, Applejack said, "Well Ah can't wait to see it. Maybe a new kinda of animal showed up last night. Do y'all think it can talk?" She had no idea just how right she was.

As they neared the area Discord pointed out to her last night, Fluttershy got the sudden sense that they were being watched. She turned and looked into the trees, noticing a strange mottled gray structure. Before she could say anything however, Rainbow Dash shouted, "Hey! What's that?" They all turned to look. Fluttershy thought she saw a figure in one of the windows disappear before the rest had a chance to see it. She decided not to point it out. She didn't want to scare her friends, but she did say, "Let's approach it carefully and try not to startle anything that could be ins-" She was interrupted by Pinkie suddenly bouncing forward, much to the exasperation of the rest of the group. "Pinkie!" They called out in unison, "Wait!" She didn't hear over the excited blood buzzing in her ears. This was a brand new building in the middle of the Everfree! Could it be a zebra? Or maybe it's something they'd never seen before!

Pinkie was followed by a thundering of hooves following her to the door. They reached what they supposed was the front entrance. A large painted metal door with a peephole stuck in the middle. It looked like it was for something much larger than a pony, Twilight noted with caution. She went on to say, "Okay, now let's investigate the place before we-" She was interrupted by Pinkie's hoof banging on the door. "-do anything stupid. Oh no."

Chapter 3: Equestria

I heard a knock on the door. I quickly sprinted to the doorknob and twisted the lock shut. I heard several voices out there, the most prominent being a high pitched bubbly tone, charged with excitement. "Ooh! I think I heard a click!!" I looked out the peephole to see several ponies looking at the door. Wait...

One of them was flying. Another one, a butter colored one, also had wings. The purple one and the white one both had horns. Unicorns? Seriously? Did that orange one have a cowboy hat on? What are those tattoos on their thighs? And which one was talki-

"Gah!!" I shouted as I stumbled backwards away from the door. I had been startled by a bright blue eye, surrounded by pink fur. I sat down hard and tried to remain as quiet as possible, just wanting them to go away. Then I thought better of it. If they wanted in, all they had to do was break one of my flimsy windows. Better to approach this diplomatically right? They were all a lot shorter than me, so maybe I should get on my knees? Remain on eye level. Yeah, that seems like a good idea. I got down on my knees and unlocked the door. I threw the door open and was slightly unprepared for what I saw.

A bright pink pony with baby blue eyes was staring directly at me. They all gasped in surprise when looked at me. I guess they didn't shock me quite as much, since I saw a them before they saw me. Seeing them all there like that kind of surprised me still. I mean, talking brightly colored ponies? All looking directly at me? Oh God. Then the pink one, Pinkie I think, immediately began to smile and turned around to the butter colored one and said. "Hey Fluttershy, what is this thing?!"

The one named Fluttershy was a bit shocked, but came up to me anyway and said, "Hey little guy, can you tell me your name?"

I realized that they thought I was some kind of animal. Well, could an animal do this? "Issac Miller." I replied. That elicited an "Eep!" from Fluttershy and several shocked gasps from the others.

"Coool!" The blue one with the rainbow mane flew down and stood in front of me. We just kinda stared at each other until I held my right hand up. They do that here right? Shaking hands? Hooves? My mind was totally overwhelmed, so I just reverted to basics. To my relief, she put her hoof in my hand and I shook it. She eyed my fingers warily, as though I was gonna squeeze her arm off. Then she looked at me and said, "Rainbow Dash! Fastest flyer in Equestria!" Equestria, huh? What is this, a cartoon? I let go of her hoof and she flew in a circle above the rest of ponies and shot up, performing some impressive aerial acrobatics. They were amazing, but I must not have looked particularly impressed, since she came back with a slightly disappointed look on her face. I felt kind of bad, but everything was way too surreal for me to show any sort of emotion.

She said, "Hey, do you speak Equestrian or what?"

"No. I speak English though."

That earned me a few stares. I was pretty much in shock at this point. My mind was on autopilot. So I continued and asked, "So what do ponies eat?" Wait, was I planning on letting these things in my house?

The purple unicorn replied, "Not mysterious pink creatures in the middle of the woods." I stared for a moment at her totally straight face. Then my face split into a wide grin and I started laughing. The ponies began to cautiously join in, until they caught sight of my teeth.

The orange one with the hat stopped laughing said in low tones, "Ah might ask you the same thing, friend."

I didn't hear her though. I just kept laughing until I was short of breath. Then for some reason, my arms and legs felt hot and tingly. My heart was beating faster and faster, my breathing become becoming shallower and more ragged. I felt my smile fade and turn into a grimace. The last rational part of my brain told me I was having a panic attack. I slumped onto the door frame, seeing spots in my vision, and apprehensive ponies.

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Twilight stared at the pink creature. It had surprisingly similar facial expressions to that of ponies. Male, judging from the tone of voice and slight facial hair. Dark hair, bright green eyes and canines. Probably carnivore. But sapient, so hopefully it wouldn't decide to eat one of the ponies. So far she had seen it go from impassive, to mirthful. Strange that it was laughing after she had told it that ponies didn't eat other animals. Relief maybe? Was it really so nervous that-

"Twilight!"

She was snapped out of her reverie by a suddenly loud Fluttershy. "Yes, what?"

Fluttershy's voice took on a hard edge. "He's having a panic attack. We need to get him inside. Now."

Twilight looked and saw him slumped against the doorway, his formerly laughing face now one of panic and confusion. She looked to Fluttershy, who gave a quick nod. Twilight used her telekinesis to lift him. As she did, she suddenly felt a very unfamiliar soul in her magical grasp. This one didn't have a trace of magical energy. His body was capable of magic, but utterly unfamiliar with it. She filed that away as interesting.

"Wh- what are you doing to me?" His voice had risen in pitch slightly. He must be terrified.

I'm just taking you into your room. I promise, nothing's going to hurt you."

"I...o-okay."

She levitated him into the house, following him as she did. She looked to her left and saw an open kitchen. To her right was what looked like a bathroom. She continued down to the last door and found the bedroom.

She laid him down on the bed as Fluttershy was returning from the kitchen with a paper bag. How she found it so quickly is anyone's guess.

"Put this over your mouth and nose and breathe evenly please." The strange creature picked up the bag and cupped it over his face, taking panicky, ragged breaths. His breathing finally slowed. He removed the bag and looked up at the ponies crowding in his room. Fluttershy smiled in relief.

She glanced behind her and shooed them all out, much to Twilight's frustration. She then turned to smile at the creature on the bed. Still somewhat intimidated since he could speak, she said, "Everything's uh... everything's gonna be just fine. I don't know how you got here, or what you... are. But we can figure out what to do together, okay?"

He just nodded and closed his eyes, trying to get a grasp on the situation.

Chapter 4: Five Stages

Okay. Just stop and think. Stop and think. What's the last thing I remember from before I got transported to... Equestria?

Who named it that? Whatever. Just...just try to remember. Well there was work. I finished that. Went for a jog. Okay. Now what? Oh right, there was the bookstore and then that guy...that guy!! I dreamed about him! He was messing with my memories! Right, right and then...what? The only thing that comes to mind is chocolate milk. And being scared shitless. I think that's the best I can hope for right now... Anyway, that guy. What was it about him? The word "chaos" comes to mind... That's weird. Well I know he had something to do with this. What was it he said again? Let's get started? What is this, some sort of game? This isn't funny. You can't just uproot people's lives. Who the HELL does he think he is? When I find him I'll-

"Um, excuse me?"

I pulled my face out of my hands and shouted, "What?!" I was angry at Flutter...face for snapping me out of my reverie.

"Oh...my. Well, I was just wondering where you uh..." She stare wide-eyed at my wild, angry eyes. "...Came...from... I...I'll just go now." She turned and quickly trotted out of the room, closing the door with her tail.

I would probably feel bad about that later, but right then, I just wanted to smash something. I was angry at that guy. That stupid, well-dressed prick. Who would DO something like this? I was angry at myself for just HAVING to go on that stupid jog when I could have just stayed home and watched my stupid tae-kwon-do tapes. I was angry at my stupid, fat boss for making me work late and inadvertently causing me to run into the stupid guy. I was angry at the stupid ponies for being all...like...colorful and shit. Yeah. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

"GRAAAH!" I picked up the closest thing to me, which happened to be my briefcase, and hurled it through the window, sending shattered glass and a battered case bouncing and skidding a few yards into the undergrowth.

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The ponies looked up at the sudden shout of anger and shattering glass. Twilight started forward, but Applejack put out a hoof before she could reach the door.

"Ah reckon he don't wanna see anypony right now"

Fluttershy nodded and gave a quiet noise of agreement. Twilight just stared and replied, "Well, what if he hurt himself? Or what if he's trying to run away? We can't just let him leave! We're in the middle of the Everfree!"

Applejack looked worried at this and turned to Rainbow Dash, who was raiding the pantry for junk food.

"This food is kinda weird, but it's pretty good! Can't read the bag though. It's just got some weird writing and a picture of a...cheetah on it."

Applejack eyed the cyan pegasus and said, "We need someone to hover outside and make sure this feller doesn't try to run off into the woods."

"Welllllll...can't Fluttershy do it?"

There was a small "Eep!" and a yellow blur dashing into the cabinets under the sink.

"I was kidding Fluttershy!" Rainbow said, only half lying. "I'll go out there and patrol the dark, spooooooky woods." She turned and exited the kitchen, adding under her breath, "Only Celestia knows why you're scared of the woods, little Miss Freakin' Animal Whisperer."

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I continued to rage and stomp around, yelling bloody murder for quite a while. I then just looked at my bed, turned, and sat down hard. There had to be something I could do. Some way to reverse the effects. I'd have to track down that guy. But how would I do that? He was like a GOD or something crazy like that. How do you track down a god? Google? There was no way I could ever find him, unless he wanted to find me. Who knows when that would be. Gods live forever right? So my life is just a blip on the celestial radar that will eventually go out in a number of years. No time at all to a god. No, there had to be some other way. That purple unicorn used magic right? Well maybe she knew something about teleportation spells. But, how would she know where to send me? She's probably never even heard of Earth. Shit. I don't want her too teleport me into the middle of space somewhere or a black hole. Or a star. Or some OTHER planet. At least here, They spoke English. How do they do that, by the way? Worry about that later. Think of some other way out. There has to be SOMETHING.

I continued to think of ways to get back for a while until I turned to stare at the broken window. I thought about how much that was going to cost. There HAD to be a way to get back home, and when I do get back, I'd have to pay for that window. Yeah that window... I stared through the broken glass into the trees. Unfamiliar trees. In Washington, there's mostly pine with a few oak trees. Maybe even a few sequoias. But these... THESE were alien. Different. Hostile. Sure, they were wooden trunks with mostly green leaves, but there were thousands of different species, each one trying to take over the other. They don't make them like that where I come from. Forests are usually just one type of dominant tree, not a chaotic mess at war with itself, vying for dominance.

That's when I began to realize the gravity of my situation. I wasn't just in a different place, I was on a totally different planet. Far, far away from Earth. I think talking pony societies would've made it to the Discovery Channel at some point. Suddenly Carl Sagan saying "A hundred billion galaxies, each with about a hundred billion planets and stars" popped into my head.

"Oh God. Oh GOD! No! I can't...I can't be...oh no..."

I slid off the bed onto my knees and stared at my knotting hands on the stained carpet, my body shaking with sobs. I was scared and alone. There was no one, no one who knew where I was. No one who could find me or help me get home. Family, friends, co-workers, and everybody who I ever talked to was gone. Just gone. And there was no possible way I could ever see them again.

I was startled by a gentle hoof laid across my back. I looked up and saw a warm smile on a butter colored pony face. I sat up on my knees and stared at her with a tear streaked face. Then I came to my senses and wiped my eyes saying, "Sorry I jus-"

I was interrupted by sudden hug. I just sat there, bewildered. I then heard a soothing voice say, "Don't worry. You can cry on me if you need to. I know what it's like to be frightened. You've got a friend in me."

I just kind of sat there, my face contorting, trying not to release an anguished howl. Then I was struck by a sudden urge to wrap my arms around the pony. I gave in, shaking with silent sobs, finally feeling safe in this strange and unfamiliar world.

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About an hour after Rainbow Dash left, Rarity turned to Pinkie Pie, who was eyeing the bag of orange things Rainbow Dash left behind. Pinkie was munching on the sugary bits of cereal from a box with a mini Isaac on it, except with orange hair and a green hat. She looked up and met Rarity's gaze.

"Whatsa matter Rarity?"

"Darling, you should probably stop eating this gentlepo-er gentlecreature's food. Did you see those fangs? Fanged animals usually eat meat, you know."

Pinkie cocked her head and replied, "Well, he seemed friendly enough. Besides, Spike is an omnivore! but he would never ever eat meat, at least not while being raised by a pony. I don't think Isacc'll eat me just for having a few of his snacks. Besides, I'll throw him the best "Welcome to Ponyville" party ever! Ooh! And then, we should have a "Discovered a New Animal" party! Won't that be fun! And for a theme, we can have all the decorations look all alien and creepy! And multi-colored punch! And-"

"Pinkie Pie! What I meant by that was, he eats meat, and probably lived with other creatures who eat meat. He may have some lying around in this...kitchen area. So, I would be more careful if I were you."

Pinkie looked at the box she was holding and suddenly imagined a diabolical grin on the little leprechaun's face. She promptly spat out what was left in her mouth and gingerly put the box away, treating it like it were an urn full of ashes.

"Sorry for eating you! I promise I won't do it again!"

She knew perfectly well that it was just cereal from tasting it, but she decided to play on Rarity's fear, just to giggle internally at that look of horror Rarity was giving the box.

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Fluttershy looked at the chemicals under the sink, wondering what anyone could possibly need them all for. She uncapped a jug and sniffed cautiously. Drawing back swiftly, she snorted, feeling as if someone had just rammed pencils into her snout. With her eyes watering, she decided not to mess with anything else down there. Then her ears twitched towards a small noise coming from the bedroom. It sounded like...sobbing. She had always had a knack for knowing when someone else is sad. Not wanting anyone to follow her, she made her way to the kitchen door and slipped out quietly.

Rainbow Dash was hovering around the perimeter of the house, eyeing each window individually, making sure no weird pink things decided to bolt. "Whatever. If he hasn't come out by now, I doubt he ever will." Just as she was getting ready to head back in due to boredom, she spotted a strange creature making it's way toward her. Her keen pegasus eyes recognized it as Discord.  She waved in greeting and he waved back, grinning a stupidly happy grin. She'd never seen him that happy.

As he fluttered down to the roof, Rainbow Dash landed in front of him saying, "What's up?"

"Oh I just wanted to see what all the ruckus was about last night." He glanced down at the structure he was standing on. "Same color, but definitely not phoenix ashes."

Rainbow Dash chuckled at the joke. "Well, duh"

Tapping the roof with a scaly foot he replied, "So what did you find in here?"

She didn't like that look he was giving her, almost like he already knew. She brushed those thoughts aside and said back, "Well, it's really weird. We found this pink thing, with hands instead of hooves. Oh, and fangs!" She brought her hooves up to the sides of her face to imitate gnashing teeth.

"Fangs?"

"Yeah, they're totally wicked looking! Anyway, It talks and we're pretty sure it's a dude. It has a really weird name. Isaac. At least it's easy to say. We're also pretty sure it eats meat. Also, he... well uh...he may be having a hard time adjusting."

Discord's gleeful look turned suddenly serious, saying, "Adjusting? What do you mean? Is there something wrong with him?"

"No, no it's just uh...he got a little bit angry. Not at us!" She said at Discord's suddenly wrathful look, "At least, I don't think so. He was alone in his room and suddenly he shouted and threw his saddleba- er whatever that is through the window.  You can see it over there." She pointed a hoof down at the briefcase and broken glass that had scattered through the brush.

Discord gave it a glance, recognizing it as Isaac's briefcase. "Oh, well at least he threw his case through the window instead of one of you. Things may have gotten a bit ah...chaotic at that point."

Rainbow Dash didn't like that fury that passed over her friend's usually jovial features. "Well, if he had, you've got me here to take care of it!" She flashed him a grin, which quelled his residual anger. She sighed in relief, knowing that if Discord stepped in to stop the strange creature, things could get ugly fast.

"Oh, and I shook hooves er- claws...no. Hands! I shook hands with him! It was pretty neat. A little weird though, I thought he was scaly at first, but his skin is really-"

"That's so interesting, but I think I should take a look at this myself, Rainbow."

She huffed at being interrupted in her story about the first mare to ever touch this new creature, but she decided to let it slide. This time. "Yeah, okay. If you fly down to his window you can proly see in. Don't let him see you though. He had a hard enough time looking at us."

"Magical being here." He said, snapping his fingers to turn himself invisible.

"Oh. Right. I totally knew that."

Chapter 5: Brave New World

I love being a powerful magical being. I can pretty much do whatever I want. At least within the parameters of my agreement with the ponies. And whenever I want to bend the rules, I can just go dark and silent, and nopony's the wiser. The only time I could ever get caught was if Celestia or Luna were here. And if they knew where I was. And looked directly at me. So chances of being caught were null.

I slithered down the wall and looked through the broken window. What I saw didn't surprise me in the least. Fluttershy comforting a distraught Isaac. I was a bit jealous, but what was there to be jealous about? I squashed that thought with a mental flyswatter. Fluttershy was whispering soothing words and holding the sobbing figure. I felt a twinge of guilt when I looked at his face, but then I remembered I wasn't going to keep him here forever. Just until I had had enough. Or if he did something rash. Like hurl a pony through a window. Well, even then I would probably watch the show, while simultaneously making sure no one bled to death.

"I- I just don't know what I'll do... What if there's no way to get back home?"

"There, there. Everything will be just fine. We'll bring you to Princess Celestia and see what she knows."

He let go of her and studied her face in confusion. "Princess Celsestia? What about the queen? Or the king?"

Fluttershy chuckled at that. "We've never really had one of those.Well, there was a King Discord a few thousand years ago, but that was different. In fact, we only had one princess until recently. Now we have Princess Luna, who raises the moon. Princess Celestia raises the sun.

"Oh I see. So they're like your deities." He looked glum at that for some reason. Then I remembered that no one had ever physically met or talked a human deity. Those guys preferred to govern from the shadows for whatever reason. I'll never understand it. And of course they didn't even give ME the time of day. I thought I was a major force in the celestial playing field, but I guess I'm not important enough to talk to. You know. Keeping order in every place in existence by being the other side of the coin. Whatever. I continued to study the pair.

"Well, I suppose you could call them that. I mean, their magical powers are beyond anything I've ever seen, even Twilight's magic just pales in comparison to what they can do. It's so...cool. But Twilight is better at magic than any other unicorn I've ever met. It's her special talent after all. Either way, the Princesses prefer to be referred to as just Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, not goddesses. They're much too modest for that."

"You talk like you've met them." I smiled mischievously at that. Here comes the bomb shell.

"I know, it's pretty amazing. I've actually met and talked to both the princesses on a few occasions."

"You...what? How? They're goddesses aren't they? When...did you meet them?"

"Well the first time was after we became the Elements of Harmony and freed Princess Luna from the grasp of Nightmare Moon. That was very exciting. I've only been that scared while facing down Discord. At least he's just a joker, not evil, like Nightmare Moon was."

Isaac looked very, very confused. I was pleased. "So wait. These are all the names of gods and goddesses? So it's like the old Greek and Roman legends...Do you worship them?"

Fluttershy smiled and shook her head. "No, we love them. At least the ones that haven't tried to kill us. Or have at least made up for it. What are Greeks and Romans?"

"Ancient human societies. Just an old city and a country at this point. No longer dominating the planet..." He trailed off, with a very confused look on his face.

"Is that what you're called?"

"Huh?"

"Hu... human. That's what you call yourselves?"

"Um, yeah. There aren't more people here? Have you ever even heard of my kind?"

"I'm so, so sorry. No. The only thing even remotely like you are the monkeys in the southern nations. Like Zebrica. And they don't speak. At least, not with words."

I noticed that he had finally stopped crying. He sighed heavily. "Well, I suppose I've dealt with worse." That was a lie and he knew it. He was just putting on a brave face for my little pony friend. That's my Isaac! Now I remember why I chose you. Most other people would've just shut down at this point, but not you! He continued, "Well, I suppose I ought to greet the others. Just get it over with." He stood up to his full height causing Fluttershy gasp quietly and look up at his towering figure.

I smiled and turned to slither back up to the roof, becoming visible as I went. I saw Rainbow Dash, who was looking at me expectantly. "So, what's he like? Does he eat meat?"

"Yes." I chuckled at the horrified look she was giving me. "Don't worry about it though. He wouldn't eat something that talks back to him. In fact, he probably doesn't even hunt. Trust me, if I were you, I just wouldn't think anything of it."

She still looked a little worried as I said, "You probably shouldn't tell anyone I was here. At least not in present company." She nodded consentingly, drawing a hoof across her mouth. "Oh, by the way, he and Fluttershy are heading back to the meet the others. you should probably get in there."

"Oh shoot! Why didn't you tell me sooner!?" She dashed off the roof and back into the house slamming the door behind her. If I had blinked I would've missed it. I chuckled. You had to admire that pony's speed.

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I felt slightly apprehensive as I nudged the door to the kitchen open. The first thing I noticed was Pinkie eating the last of my Lucky Charms. The white unicorn was berating her in hushed tones. I caught something about there maybe being meat in it. I chuckled and said, "Don't worry. It's just cereal. With way too much sugar in it." At that, all the ponies looked up at me. They all saw me standing at my full height, giving noises of awe. They looked slightly intimidated, so I sat down to remain on eye level. That put them at ease, kind of. Well, the pink one was already as relaxed as she could be, judging by how much she was jumping up and down and smiling. Not knowing what to say, I just stared awkwardly until the purple unicorn walked forward.

Smiling, she opened with, "Pleased to meet you. My name is Twilight Sparkle. But you can just call me Twilight. These are my friends Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and where's-oh! There she is. Rainbow Dash." She pointed a hoof at each of them in turn and finally at the cyan pegasus who zoomed into the kitchen, smiling sheepishly. "Oh, and I believe you've already met Fluttershy." She said, gesturing to the butter colored pegasus beside me.

I decided to tell a little about myself in my introduction. "Well, Twilight, my name is Isaac miller. My full name is Isaac Vasquez Lee Miller."

"Fascinating! Absolutely amazing! Your name is much longer than any pony I've ever met! Please explain it it to us!"

I smiled and rubbed the back of my head. "Well my family history is a long and boring one. I can probably explain it if you want, though."

Twilight nodded eagerly, but Applejack said, "Hold on now. I'm sure that's something we all wanna hear about." Earning an eye-roll from Rainbow Dash. "But I think I speak for most of us right now when Ah say Ah'm more interested in how you got here."

Twilight blushed and smiled saying, "Yes, yes of course. We need to figure out how to help you. But...if we can get some studying done along the way that'd be great." The others stared. "Well, this is a great opportunity! But first priority is of course finding out what happened!"

I opened my mouth to explain what happened just before I got here, but Rainbow Dash interjected, "Well hold up a sec. There's one issue that's bugging me. Your teeth. Do you eat meat?"

A tense quiet filled the room. Oh God, what am I supposed to say to THAT? These were ponies, so if they're anything like Earth horses, they're herbivores. I broke the silence with, "Well...uh...yeah. Nothing that talks though." I chuckled awkwardly. They continued to stare, Twilight still smiling, still fascinated. Scientist type. Fluttershy nodded understandingly. The rest were looking on with fear and disgust, except Pinkie Pie. Sheesh. Nothing phased that pony. To my relief, Fluttershy came to the rescue and addressed the rest of the group.

"Now before we jump to any conclusions, you all have to understand that that's just the way he is. It's the way he was raised and there's nothing we can do about it. But, um," She turned to face me and continued, "We'll have to import meat from the Griffin Kingdom. Or maybe a bow and arrows for hunting, that is, if you can manage it."

"Well, um..." I glanced at the hard look Rainbow Dash was giving me. "Listen, it's not any trouble. I don't really need meat all that much. Also, I've never hunted with a bow before, so yeah. I'd probably just get lost or something." A part of me was crying on the inside. Bacon was delicious. When I could afford it. "And uh, I've never eaten a horse or pony before, so no worries there!" A vegetable diet was a tall order, but I figured it's best not to burn bridges when dealing with aliens. Especially when living in their world, if only for a little while. And doubly so if they're capable of magic. Besides, I might be able to sneak a few trips to this "Griffin Kingdom."

They seemed reassured that I wasn't going to eat them, but they were still looking on with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity. Couldn't really fault them there. I'd be nervous in a room with a talking bear.

"Soooo...did you wanna know how I got here?

"That'd be appreciated pardner."

"Alright then. So it all started when...." I went on to explain my life before I got my mind was enveloped in a haze of multicolored ponies and...chocolate milk? Why does that keep coming to mind? Anyway, I explained to them about my jog, bumping into Kane, the following dream about Kane and my strangely vivid conversation with him, and then waking up here.

"Oh and he had this weird button on his lapel. It was a circle with a bunch of arrows coming out of it. And it was red."

Twilight said, "Well I've never seen or heard of a symbol like that. And Kane isn't exactly a common name here, so I can't help you there. At least not until I look through of a few of my books."

With a worried face, Rarity added, "You said he was in your dreams Mr. Miller? Well that doesn't mean he's as powerful as Princess Luna, but he certainly has a few of her powers. If not more."

All the ponies looked distraught at this. Even Pinkie had stopped smiling and said, "Well if he's as powerful as Luna, this might turn into a teensy bit of a problem."

"A 'teensy bit of a problem?'" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, "Pinkie, this could be serious! We could be dealing with another Nightmare Moon! From some other world, so we have no idea how strong this "Kane" guy is! Who knows, he might even be like Discord, judging how much he messed up Isaac's life! I mean, look at this place!"

I blushed and opted to say nothing about the condition of my apartment. It was in the exact same condition before I'd ever even met Kane, except that it somehow ended up in the woods. God, it must look ugly on the outside, since it was in a building. Twilight asked, "Is there anyone who could maybe help from your world Isaac?"

Eager to get off the topic of my foul apartment, I replied, "Well, I'm sure people will find it interesting that there's a chunk missing out of my apartment building. Other than that, people won't know where I am. We don't really have magic where I come from." All the ponies except Twilight gasped at this.

Applejack looked startled and said, "No magic? How do the plants grow?"

After that I was assaulted by a cacophony of questions.

"Who raises the sun?"

"Who lights up the stars at night?"

How do you all control the weather?"

"How do-"

"Girls, girls! Calm down!" Twilight nearly had to shout over the endless barrage of questions. "I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. Now Isaac, when you say no magic, do you mean no magic or do you just mean no spells?"

"When I say no magic, I mean no spells, no nothing. Everything in my world works by itself, without magic. I mean, look at those clouds outside. They're moving. Is that weird to you?"

Rainbow Dash said, "Yeah, and it should be pretty weird to you too! This is only place in Equestria where they move like that. We pegasi move the clouds ourselves."

"What? No way. How can you touch them? It's just water vapor." All the ponies stared in stunned disbelief. I was confused as well. How can you touch a cloud?

Twilight Sparkle nodded her head, as if confirming her suspicions. "Yes that's what I thought. When I levitated you into your room earlier, your soul had absolutely no magical experience at all."

The others exclaimed at this. Prominent among them was Rarity who said, "Isaac, if you don't mind, I'd like to examine you with a magical field of my own."

I was a bit apprehensive at this, but nodded. If they had wanted to hurt me, they would've done it when I was in panic mode. Her horn glowed briefly and a light blue aura surrounded me. It felt tingly and warm. It was a bit like being wrapped in a blanket, if that blanket were made of air. It kind of tickled. I giggled a little as Rarity continued to furrow her brow in concentration. The others stared expectantly. The aura disappeared, leaving me with a slightly chilly feeling.

Rarity looked at me with wide eyes and said to the others, "It's true. His soul...besides Twilight's levitation spell, it's never been touched by magic. Not once."

The ponies looked at me with...pity. I was puzzled. "Well, it's not a big deal. I mean, I've got these." I flexed my hands. Continuing, I pointed to my head, "And this. Trust me, we've have been getting along fine without uh...magic. In fact, check this out." I pulled out my iPhone and and scrolled through my music filed until I found Stylo.

"Woooow!" They said in unison.They looked at it with amazement, particularly Twilight. She asked, "It's portable electricity, like a flashlight. How do you power it without a magical charge?"

"Well um...we burn oil at power plants to produce energy...and then we distribute that energy using copper wires...and then I plug my phone into the wall and boom! Electricity!" I grinned, hoping my rudimentary knowledge of how the power grid worked was good enough.

"Where do you get all that oil?"

I opened my mouth to explain but quickly shut it. I had suddenly realized that this world is very different to my own. Weird, even. I've got a lot of explaining to do.

Chapter 6: When Worlds Collide

Princess Celestia watched the sky with an uneasy look on her face. She felt something was off. There was an unfamiliar force in Equestria. It was barely discernible, but it was enough to put her on edge. Something she had never laid eyes upon. She first detected it when she raised the sun. A certain perk of being in control of the sun let her know when it was shining on someone or something that walked into her borders, unless it were another being of immense power and great skill, like the changeling queen. She looked directly into the sun, and let the rays pierce her retinas. She showed no signs of discomfort at tapping into energies that would've blinded any other pony. Using the sun's rays, she became aware of all the life forms in Equestria. Using this spell, she could pinpoint the rough location of the foreign creature, but not it's exact location. She let out a small noise of frustration.

"Tia? Is something troubling you?"

Celestia released the spell and turned to see her sister, Luna. One power the Princess of the Night possessed that Celestia did not was the ability to enter the dreams of all creatures, sentient or sapient. Perhaps she could could find out what the Princess of the Sun could not.

"Luna, could you look into something for me?"

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We spent the rest of the day talking about my world and their's. I answered questions all day long and barely scratched the surface. And even then, I would avoid or deflect questions about the more violent side of human culture and war. These aliens seemed so innocent. I didn't want to horrify them. First impressions are pretty important, and talking about war or something equally horrible might give them the wrong idea..

Their technology was strange. They seemed advanced in medical science, some sound systems, and for some reason, electric appliances. I found out about the last one when Pinkie Pie started making toast and coffee like she lived there. I had to wonder how she worked all of that with just hooves. The day went on and I was beginning to feel more relaxed around these ponies. They also began to warm up to me, asking me about my life back home and wondering if there was an equivalent to something called the Wonderbolts in my world,which led to a conversation about airplanes and supersonic jets, which became sour when they asked me how those work. I honestly had no clue. I looked out the window at the setting sun, leaving only about half an hour of light. Twilight saw me looking and glanced out the window.

Turning back, she addressed her friends. "Listen everypony, this has been very interesting, but I think it would be best if we left Isaac for the night." Twilight then turned to look at me. "You know, it's quite dangerous out here. You'll have to move into the main town eventually. The sooner the better."

"What's so dangerous about it out here? It's not like anything could get in." I thought back to a few experiences with nature's rougher side when I was younger. Unless it had a death wish, no wild animal was going to go near a house.

The ponies stared blankly. "What? Are there...monsters?" I asked sarcastically. As a reward for my snarkiness, an image of Slenderman popped into my head, instantly obliterating my smile. "Seriously though, what's out here?"

"Well there's timberwolves, manticores, chimeras, and a bunch of other predators."

"Oh. Heh, right. Chimeras and manticores." Timber wolves weren't all that common in Washington, but at least they were real. I looked at Twilight's completely straight face. "You're serious?" Of course she's serious you idiot, you're in a world with talking ponies for Christ's sake. Who's to say there aren't giant flying spaghetti monsters out here?

Twilight nodded her head and said, "Either way, you need to come with us sometime. I can cast a protective spell on the house, but I can't do it every night."

I looked around at my shitty apartment. I'd always been eager to leave as soon as possible, but now? It was hard letting go. It was the biggest piece of my life that was still around. Then I thought about giant fire breathing chimeras and decided this crap apartment was not worth getting roasted over. "How about tomorrow? I'll pack up tonight and be ready in the morning."

Twilight smiled and said, "Perfect. We'll figure out your living arrangements tonight as well. At least until you can afford your own home." That made me think about how I'd been saving up for a new apartment. And how utterly worthless my money would be here.

With a sigh, I answered, "Sounds like a plan Twilight. I'll see you in the morning." I stood up to show them all out. Each of them individually said goodbye to me as they walked out the door. When Fluttershy reached the door, she turned and hopped up to wrap her arms around my neck in a somewhat clumsy hug. My eyes went wide in surprise as I patted her back awkwardly. She said, "Don't worry about a thing. We'll get you home eventually."

"Heh. Yeah, we'll see about that I suppose." I grinned at her as she hopped down to the ground and walked back to her friends. She turned to wave goodbye. I waved back as I shut and locked the door. I looked up in surprise as my walls suddenly shined with purple light. The light faded and revealed a glowing octagon pattern on the walls, which also faded with the sound of a large lock sliding into place. Twilight's protective spell. I would have to ask her how that worked tomorrow. Right now I needed to pack.

I looked at the faded green duffel bag in my closet with nostalgic affection before I began tossing bits and pieces I would need in it. Deodorant, toothbrush, clothes, yadda yadda yadda. As I was packing I glanced over at my iPod on the nightstand. I walked over to pick it up and remembered something very important. I opened the nightstand and removed my two most precious items. A roughed-up leather sheath with a multi-tool inside and a blue hard-back photo album. I put the album gently into the bag and slipped the multi tool out of it's sheath. Admiring it's black finish, I flipped open the ez-out knife and even though it was a little bit scratched up, I could still read the laser engraving on the side. You have no idea how useful these things are. -Terry. Leave it to my brother to put that in a permanent engraving instead of a card. I smiled as I put it back into the sheath and tossed it onto the floor next to a pair of hiking boots and clothes for tomorrow. Just one more thing...

I pulled the black plastic case out from under my bed and flipped the latches on it. I inhaled the smell of processed foam packaging and pulled the .45 pistol out of it's indented space. My dad kept it around for "hunting." We all knew he kept it for kicks and giggles. He gave it to me a while ago, since I was "Moving to the big city of Seattle." Yeah. I might get mugged by a hipster or something. I pulled the harness holster out and two loaded clips before shutting it and throwing it and few small boxes of ammo in the bag.

Then I remembered that my window was still broken. Twilight's  protective charm did nothing against the cold. I went and got an old box and some duct tape to fix it up.

I stood back to admire my handiwork. A piece of cardboard covering a window may look pretty crappy, but what didn't in this apartment? I laid my gun and holster down next to my other items i would need for tomorrow. With my preparations made, I stretched and fell into my bed. I was feeling calm, which was strange. It wasn't even that late, but I could feel my eyelids drooping as I made my way to my bed. I barely got under the covers before I fell asleep.

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With closed eyes, Luna whispered what sounded like a song under her breath as she circled the gray structure. Her sleeping spell was almost complete. She had grown tired of waiting for this creature to go to bed. Her eyes cracked open as she finished the spell. Luna landed on the structure. Her head bowed, she closed her eyes again, her horn glowing a midnight blue color. She opened her now glowing, white eyes and released her ethereal form from her body.

Now free of her earthly bonds, she easily bypassed Twilight's protective spell and entered the structure. She grew excited as she saw the figure under the sheets. It didn't seem overly strange to her. Being subconsciously aware of all things made things that should be alien look vaguely familiar. She then plunged her ethereal being into his dreaming mind.

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She was immediately buffeted by thousands upon thousands of memories, millions perhaps. What most ponies didn't realize that though they may not always remember them perfectly, each and every memory was recorded into the subconscious permanently.

With these many memories, I can predict his age to be about...twenty-three Celestial years, thought the goddess. Hopefully the years are the same from his world. I have a strange feeling about this one...perhaps his world is parallel to ours. Vague thoughts and memories from the day began to present themselves to her. I am eager but...I should ask permission before viewing his memories." Intruding on memories had gotten her into quite a bit of trouble in her younger days.

Luna decided to switch her form from a blue sparkling cloud to her normal physical form. She created a long rectangular room with black and white tiles with thick red drapes hung along the walls, concealing them entirely. She then created a gramophone and an easy chair for the creature along with a tall chaise cushion for herself. With a small smile, she added a pool table for fun. The curtains parted in one spot and a door appeared in the black carpeting covering the cement walls. She opened it with a flick of her horn and walked out.

She wasn't quite prepared for what she saw. When a sapient being learns from the collective knowledge from their elders and ancestors, they are imbued with the collective memory of their race. They are born with some part of this, but it becomes stronger over time. And what Luna saw in the collective memory of the humans both fascinated and horrified her.

It was beautiful and terrible in equal measure. She saw a resilient spirit, one that got along without magic or help from each other. She saw war, peace, cruelty, benevolence, chaos and order. Or at least some semblance of order. She was reviled by the unspeakable acts committed on the women and children of another tribe when it was conquered. She saw slavery and she saw violence. But she also saw kindness and a gentle spirit. People feeding those less fortunate, taking in children, organizations dedicated to peace and an end to poverty, entertainers, wanting nothing more than to make others laugh, soldiers dedicated to their country and determined to destroy whatever enemy threatened the safety of their loved ones. Civilization was the norm, though some places in his world did not enjoy simple things like running water or electricity. Metropolises were plagued by crime and violence. Even small towns similar to Ponyville had a surprisingly large amount of crime, usually in the form of what seemed to be illicit substances.

It was complete and utter chaos. A world of both limitless beauty and the stuff of nightmares, the inhabitants capable of tear-inducing kindness and unspeakable cruelty.  And this so called human, was one of those inhabitants.

These creatures are everything ponies were before Celestia and I stepped in. I am eager to meet this... Isaac. ...What a strange name. I wonder what it means.

She turned back into the lounge she created and shut the door, concealing it behind the thick red drapes. A bell materialized in the corner of the room, which she rung. The small bell made a much larger noise than it had any business making, echoing through Isaac's mind.