My Roommates a Human!

by Hector Railway

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 1029

Vinyl's at university, and is living with the only human on campus.

Vinyl's at university, and is living with the only human on campus. But Vinyl has a huge phobia of bipeds.

Hector Railway, the only human at Canterlot University, is ssigned to live with the DJ P0n-3 herself. Determined to make this co-habitation as comfortable as possible, Hector and Vinyl's antics have only one result, hilarity.

Now Octavia's gaining weight, Thunderlane's bedroom is catching fire, Lyra wants to eat Hector (and not i the nice way) and The Doctor STILL can't drive!

Can the Elements of Harmony stop tis madness. Aww..heck NO

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-06 22:35:55 UTC

Prologue

My Roommates a Human

Prologue: 1st Day

Vinyl Scratch trotted down the hallways of Canterlot University.

She was there because her dad had the money to send her and she needed a degree. Her father, D'Urge 2 Scratch was fine with her ambition to be a DJ, it was her cutie mark after all, but she needed to have something to fall back on.

So here she was, in the best university Equestria had to offer. Her saddlebags were full of her music equipment and personal creature comforts. It was very heavy, and Vinyl couldn't wait to find her room. Room No. 47.

The University had told her she'd be living with a roommate. They had also sent her a "Tolerance" newsletter, so she knew she wouldn't be sharing with a pony.

It was probably a zebra or donkey. Maybe it was a Griffon or Minotaur, but they weren't known to care for education much. She had even heard that there was a school in Fillydelphia that let Diamond Dogs in, but that didn't happen in Canterlot.

Vinyl shuddered. She hated bipeds. They looked so freakish, and they seemed to defy gravity.

At last, she found it. Room 47. She opened the door with her key, and saw several suitcases littered about. Her new roomie must already be hear. Vinyl heard water running and a deep voice singing the theme to Thomas the Tank Engine. It was defiantly a he, and he was a bass. That scored him a few points, in Vinyl's eyes.

While her new roomie was in the shower, Vinyl thought she might as well take a look around.

Walking into the lounge, her new roomie had already set up his drum kit. So he was a drummer. Double the points. Vinyl was elated to discover he was a fellow musician.

Vinyl also discovered some paper, and pencils. Some sheets had a few sketches on them. So he was an artist, too? Also, Vinyl noticed a skateboard lying in the corner.

"Hm." Vinyl said to herself. If her new roommate had a cutie mark, it was getting harder and harder gauge.

Vinyl's ears pricked up as she heard the water shut-off and the singing stop. Good, now she could put a face to all this.

She didn't hear the clippety-clop of hooves, but rather the pad of flesh, with the occasional scrape of toenails.

The door behind her opened, and she turned to greet her new roommate.

She screamed.

It was a human! A gross, wiry, pale human. It had green eyes, and blonde hair that was sopping wet. It's feet were ridiculously huge, all the better to kick with, and it's fingers were long and claw like. It's teeth were sharp on some places and square on others, and it's chest was muscular, and had these weird nubs on both side, like nipples.

Vinyl panicked. She grabbed the skateboard to defend herself.

"Get back!" Vinyl said, giving the board a good swing and watching the human recoil. "I'm warning you!"

"Jeez, nice to meet you too!" The human retorted, sounding very sarcastic. Vinyl was shocked. It could talk.

"HELP!" Vinyl yelled, hoping her new roommate who help fend off the human.

"Look, calm down." The Human said, grabbing the skateboard. "Just breathe. I know I look a bit freaky but hey, I just showered."

The human stopped talking when Vinyl clunked him over the head with the skateboard. The human fell to the floor, his wet body creating a small splash when he hit the floor.

"Ow" said the human.

Vinyl put the skateboard to the side, and gently prodded the fallen Homo Sapien Sapiens with her front hoof. It twitched, sent Vinyl into a frenzied panic, where she pummelled the human with the skate board.

"Please, stop that, it isn't very pleasant." The Human said.

Vinyl dropped the skateboard. "You...talk?" She asked. "You're a talking human?"

"No, I'm a figment of your imagination!" The human replied, armed with sarcasm again. "Now, are you done hitting me, or do you need a few more whacks?"

Vinyl inched backwards. "You...you're a human? One of those things that live outside Equestria. And you're talking?"

"You, you're a pony. One of those things that live INSIDE Equestria. And you're talking." The human replied.

"You're a very sarcastic human, aren't you?" Vinyl said.

The human began to peel itself off the floor, struggling due to its slippery form. Vinyl backed away, not want to be touched by the human.

"Whoop de doo, give the mare a prize." The human grumbled, still trying to get up. It eventually accomplished this task, beaming to himself.

Vinyl suddenly felt very tiny compared to this human. She has always prided herself on being a big mare, a little taller than most and having a flank that could rival Fluttershy's. But this human was at least six feet tall, towering over her. Vinyl was just thankful he was so slender, or he would just dwarf her completly.

The human shifted a bit, placing one hand on the towel and wiping his free hand to a dry-enough standard.

"I'm Hector, Hector Railway. I'll be you're new roommate. I'm sorry about this little exchange. I know I look funny to you but hey, you're no picnic to look at either, so let's just start over fresh, how about that?"

Vinyl didn't respond with words. Rather, she offered her rebuttal in the form of falling to the floor, unconscious. Hector panicked slightly, put decided to just drop the laundry and carry Vinyl to one of the bunks the room provided.

So there they were, a naked human carrying an unconscious pony , bridal style, I might add, to her bunk. He was just thankful nopony was looking.

Across the quad in the block of dorms opposite, Caramel was observing the duo with his telescope.

"Pokey, come look at this." Caramel said as his roommate, Pokey Pierce, came and looked through the telescope, nodded in amusement.

"I'll bet you twelve bits that they'll end up ploughing before the semester ends." Pokey said.

Caramel paused for a bit. "Make it 47 and you have a deal."