In the Royal Canterlot Library, bridging the gap between the history and fiction sections, sat a small section simply titled 'Historical Fiction.' Truth and fantasy were blurred in the books that rested there, mixing what was with what could have been. Some told stories about the lives of soldiers that had never lived, fighting in glorious ancient battles and others spoke of made-up civilians trying to eke out a meager existence during the terrible Dark Ages. A surprisingly large number of the books, though, centered on Princess Celestia, telling colorful tales of her adventures during her reign. Authors had her leading the charge into battles older than time or perhaps pushing the limits of magical knowledge or even carving Equestria out of the wilderness of Discord's reign.
Princess Celestia knew that authors loved to write about her. Her long life and long rule attracted mystery and speculation from nearly everyone. She loved to read about their interpretations of her and the things she had done. Those stories were quite a change from those dry, historical poems that spoke of her deeds from time immemorial. Strangely, no one had ever bothered to consult her about whether or not she'd actually done the things the books boasted she did. That was probably a good thing, though; she'd hate to have to crush the dreams of some aspiring author who came to ask about her exciting life only to learn she spent most of her waking hours buried under a mountain of paperwork.
It had been different in the old days, of course, when she (and Luna) was still building Equestria, rather than governing it. Now, she spent her time reading official documents and listening to proposals in between taking petitions and overseeing diplomatic affairs. She almost wished to be caught up in those adventures on days like this one, where the only real danger that threatened her was death by boredom.
“...and you can clearly see that by increasing sales tax on raw hay by a mere two percent, Canterlot could see a revenue of as high as nearly three million bits by the end of the fiscal year,” said the suited unicorn colt in front of her, gesturing to a sales chart standing next to him.
Celestia nodded. “You seem to have done your homework, Pen Pusher.”
Pen Pusher preened a little at the praise from the princess, and his associates murmured to each other, convinced they’d convinced her. Celestia held her tongue. This wasn't over yet.
“If you don't mind, I have a few questions,” said Breezy, a light pink Pegasus. She was one of Celestia's secretaries of state and actually did most of the legwork involved with official business. Celestia’s role in government administration was more of an overseer and she preferred to leave the task to ponies who had the skills to do it well. Breezy was one such pony and one of her many talents was being able to endure these long-winded presentations without wanting to pull her own feathers out. Celestia made sure she was given the best benefit package the Crown could afford.
As the questions droned on, Celestia found her mind wandering back to the adventures in the books that she had never had. She did so want to go off and explore some forgotten corner of her kingdom, but her responsibilities kept her firmly seated in the throne. She could shirk them, of course, but she loved her people far too much to simply abandon them on a whim. Still, she would have given just about anything for some kind of interruption right about now.
And, suddenly, she got one.
A side door, leading off to the private section of the castle, suddenly swung open, admitting a tiny brown earth colt into the throne room. He kept his eyes on the ground, walking straight ahead. When the door boomed shut behind him, he finally looked up and froze. Everyone who had heard the sound was now looking at him; Celestia, Breezy, Pen Pusher and the tax board, as well as all the guards. The little colt began to tremble, now aware of what he had done.
The guards at the foot of the throne had shifted positions to intercept him, but Celestia ordered them to stay put with a stern look. She smiled warmly at the little foal, who seemed even smaller now.
“Hello there,” she said. “I don't often get visitors through that door. What's your name?”
“W-Walnut,” he managed to squeak out. “Am-am I in trouble?”
“Not at all. What were you doing back there?”
“Looking for my mom and dad. I don't know where they are.”
His voice broke on the last word and she could see a few tears glistening in his eyes. He was young indeed, barely out of foalhood, and terrified at being separated from his parents. She climbed down from the throne and approached him slowly.
“They won't be far,” she said, nodding at Square Knot, one of her attendants. He left the room to search for Walnut's parents. “You can wait for them here with me, if you like.”
Walnut nodded, knowing at the very least that the Princess was someone to obey. He followed her on shaking legs to the throne and sat down at the bottom of the stairs.
“You don’t have to sit on the floor,” she said, when she saw what he’d done. “There is more than enough room for you on my throne, and besides, it’s very soft.”
Excitement lit his face, but was almost immediately crowded out by fear, leaving him rooted to the spot. She came back down the stairs and moved closer to him, lowering her head so she could look into his eyes. She lifted his chin with a hoof.
“Don’t be afraid, my little pony,” she said. “I know I’m probably the biggest pony you've ever seen, and I’m sure you’re scared, but you are my special guest. Nothing bad is going to happen to you, I promise.”
Walnut blinked a few times, trying to keep back his tears, but she managed to spot a hint of a smile on his face. Good enough for her. She made her way back to the throne and he toddled after her. But before he could climb the stairs, a guard blocked his way.
“Crossbar, step aside,” said Celestia.
“Royal protocol dictates that no one but royalty may be seated on the Solar Throne,” said Crossbar, quoting the rule book.
“No one but royalty may be seated alone on the Solar Throne,” said Celestia, speaking with the knowledge of one who had written said rule book. “Equestria is not going to be overthrown by a yearling without his Mark.”
Crossbar moved aside, letting Walnut climb the stairs. He sat down gingerly at the edge of the cushioned seat, eyes wide in disbelief.
“I know he's no threat, Your Highness,” said Crossbar. “But the captain would have my hide if he knew I wasn't following protocol.”
Celestia nodded. Breezy watched them silently, though her lips were pressed into a thin line.
“Highness, if that's all, I'd like to continue,” said Breezy. Celestia smiled. Not many ponies had the guts to speak to her as though they didn't actually care about her opinion.
“Please do,” said Celestia.
Breezy nodded and turned back to Pen Pusher. “So, where exactly were you planning to channel all this extra revenue?”
Pen Pusher flipped his chart and began explaining exactly which sectors of government he thought could use some extra funding. Nearly all of them involved executive salaries and retirement packages and Celestia rolled her eyes.
He rambled on and on through his proposals until his voice took on the droning quality of an exceptionally boring lecture - which, of course it was. His tone didn't shift at all, despite some of the more exciting and ridiculous ideas he was suggesting (a hot tub in the executive break room? Seriously?) and Celestia found herself drifting.
Normally at this point, she’d simply tune out and trust Breezy to keep whoever it was she was listening to in line, especially since she could easily read the report later on, but today was a little different. Celestia glanced down at Walnut, who was still trembling at the prospect of being so close to the Ruler of All Equestria. The poor colt was too nervous to be as bored as she was.
Celestia smiled to herself. The best way to put him at ease might be to lighten the situation, giving her something do at last. Most of the jokes she knew would fly over his head, but she knew at least one trick that never failed. She gave Walnut a wink, then began to make faces at Breezy behind her back. Pen Pusher and his associates could see her, though. They kept their faces straight, but their eyes widened with disbelief. Walnut was not so disciplined and began to giggle. Spurred on by his laughter, Celestia pulled even more grotesque faces. Walnut laughed out loud and the business ponies were struggling to hide their smiles. Breezy whirled around, but all she saw was Celestia calmly drinking her tea. She turned back to her audience, who were now in control of their expressions again.
“I don’t think the Council is going to vote in favor of the tax hike, at least the way you’re presenting it now,” Breezy said. “Any questions?”
Nearly all of them raised their hooves. Breezy sighed.
“To answer your first question,” Breezy replied, “Her Highness does that all the time when she thinks these presentations are dragging on for too long. I know she's doing it; I just don't care.”
Half of the hooves lowered again. Breezy pointed at the nearest raised hoof.
“Yes, you.”
“I’m sure the Council will happily benefit from the extra funding the proposal would bring them. Is there a way we could frame this so they might see the benefit?”
Breezy scratched her chin. “You’d have to provide responsible spending recommendations if you want any kind of approval. For example...”
She moved to the presentation board and began to explain her idea in detail. Celestia listened for a moment, trying to understand the gist of the new plan. As Breezy spoke, she motioned enthusiastically to keep the tax board engaged. Celestia gave another sly grin to Walnut. She stood up and began to imitate Breezy's gestures as she pointed out the finer points of her proposal. Each movement was in perfect harmony, though Celestia was carefully making ridiculous faces as she followed along. Walnut's laughter rang through the throne room and the other ponies were actively fighting snickers. Breezy rolled her eyes.
“Your Highness, whatever you're doing back there, you're making it difficult for us to concentrate.”
She turned again. This time, Celestia sat on the edge of her throne, polishing her horseshoes on her coat. A muscle under Breezy's left eye began to twitch. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to her audience. She began to list the finer points of her plan and the steps involved. Celestia took hold of a pair of velvet cushions in her magic and arranged them so that they resembled a face. She moved the lowest one so that it opened and closed like a mouth and made it imitate Breezy word for word.
“-and we can see how a price reduction in the short term will eventually turn into greater long term profits and I know you're doing that thing with the cushions again, Your Highness, because you only manage to hinder these meetings when I'm around!”
Breezy whirled again, seeing Walnut rolling on the chair with laughter and Celestia calmly fluffing the cushions. The business ponies were chuckling now and Breezy was at her wit's end.
“I think we should break for lunch,” Breezy said through gritted teeth. “We aren't going to get anything else done in here.”
As the group made their way out of the throne room, Breezy shot Celestia a stern look over her shoulder. Celestia replied by pulling another ridiculous face and Breezy snorted with laughter. The Princess winked as Breezy left the room and the officer’s laughter echoed through the outer hall.
“Your Highness,” asked Crossbar, a smile in his voice, “Why do you pull such pranks on your executive officers?”
“To bring a useless meeting to a grinding halt,” Celestia said, a broad smile on her face.
“Highness?” he asked, turning to face her.
“The hike they’re proposing is a money grab and she’s trying to tell them that without saying so out loud. She wants to keep them from wasting the Council’s time, since she knows they’ll reject it, but they’re far too stubborn to understand the message she’s trying to give them.”
“Then why not tell them so? Surely they’ll listen to you.”
“Certainly they would.” She glanced down at Walnut, who was still smiling. “But I think a break in the routine is good every now and again.”
Crossbar chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind during the next inspection of the barracks.”
Celestia nodded behind his back. It had been a long time since she’d pulled any shenanigans on the Guard, due to their uptight nature. Maybe Luna would be willing to lend her a hoof. The younger sister hadn't pulled any pranks since her return and Celestia was concerned that she might be growing rusty.
“Do you ever play tricks on anypony?” she asked Walnut, bringing herself out of her daydreams.
“Sometimes, I hide in the laundry basket to scare my mom,” he said, giggling.“She pretends I'm a hydra and runs away screaming and then my dad comes out.” He giggled harder. “He runs after me, saying he's the hydra slayer and he says he can beat me with his secret weapon - a feather! And then he tickles me! And I run away and he chases me all over the house and then my mom starts chasing me and then they grab me and tickle me even more until I’m crying ‘cause I’m laughing so hard and I can’t breathe and it’s so much fun!”
“That does sound fun,” said Celestia with a grin. With her magic, she opened a small compartment in the base of the throne. She'd had this little addition put in a while ago, when it became clear that she sometimes had to spend all day in here, often without the chance to take a break for meals. But her staff was always happy to help however they could and a small team was instructed to keep this small compartment well stocked at all times. Using her magic, she withdrew a small covered basket and levitated it over to where she was sitting. She pulled the cover back and withdrew an item from within.
“Walnut, would you like a cookie?” she said. He took it without hesitation and gobbled it down.
“Thank you,” he said, mouth full.
“Have as many as you like. I expect all this laughing and waiting has made you hungry.”
“Kinda.” He reached for another cookie, scooting closer to the basket for a better reach. She lowered herself down, tucking her legs under herself. Another thought occurred to her. Her horn flashed again and pair of cups appeared on the cushion, shortly followed by a bottle of milk. She filled the glasses before helping herself to a few cookies.
“Where are you from?” she asked.
“Manehatten,” he said cheerfully. “We're on vacation. Canterlot's real pretty.”
“I think so, too.”
They sat like that for some time; Celestia asking simple questions and getting the honest answers that only a child can give. A steward appeared at the door at the end of the room, but she shook her head. No more meetings until this one was done. These simple moments, just sitting and speaking to one of her subjects, were rare and precious and she never wasted them.
“What do your parents do for work?” she asked him.
“My mom grows flowers for restaurants and my dad is a cab puller,” Walnut said, gobbling down another cookie.
“I suppose they keep busy out in Manehatten, don’t they?” Celestia asked, dunking a cookie in her milk.
“Yup, they’re always working!” said Walnut proudly, spraying crumbs everywhere. “Mom has to make big orders every week and Dad says he’s glad unicorns are so lazy, otherwise he’d be out of business.”
Celestia snickered at that, taking a bite out of her cookie.
“Do you have parents, Princess?” said Walnut, asking a question of his own for a change. It was quite a question; not something easily answered for a pony of any age. But Celestia knew how to tailor her answers without twisting the truth and this she did, for his benefit.
“I did,” she said. “But I've been a grown-up for a very long time. They don't live here anymore.”
“Oh. What about kids? Do you have any kids?”
She smiled. “I like to think of all the ponies in Equestria as my children. I watch out for them and I take care of them as best I can.”
“Do you love them?”
Celestia paused, a cookie halfway to her mouth. “Love them?”
“Yeah, isn't a mom supposed to love her kids?”
She smiled even wider than before. Out of the mouths of foals...
“Yes, I love them.”
“What about that army pony right there?” He pointed at Crossbar. “Do you love him?”
“Of course.”
Crossbar lifted his head, tossing it a little. Walnut pointed at the other guard at the foot of the throne.
“What about him?”
“Him too.”
The other guard scuffed his hoof a little and Celestia thought she could see a blush forming under his coat.
“What about the lady you were teasing?”
She chuckled. “Definitely her.”
“And those other guards at the door?” He pointed at the other end of the hall.
“Them too.”
“What about the rest of the ponies in the castle?”
Celestia was beginning to understand that these questions would keep going for as long as he could think of them, so she tried to get ahead of him.
“Yes. Every pony in the castle, every pony in Canterlot, every pony from the Frozen North all the way down to the San Palomino Desert in the south, I love every single pony in Equestria.”
“What about...” Well, it was a good try. “What about the ones you haven’t met before, like my mom and dad?”
“Yes, them too.”
She took another sip of milk and suddenly noticed that Walnut was staring at her, his face rather solemn.
“What about me?” he asked.
Celestia smiled and nuzzled him gently. “I love you too, Walnut. Probably almost as much as your mom and dad do.”
Walnut giggled and nuzzled her back, his earlier nervousness replaced by trust. She smiled even wider, feeling her heart soar. She needed these moments to remind her why she did what she did.
Hoofsteps from the door caught her attention and she caught whispers of a harried conversation.
“I was too! I only turned away for a second. You know how fast he is.”
“...what kind of trouble he might have caused for us to get summoned to the throne room. When I said I wanted to see the Princess, this wasn't what I meant.”
“Your Highness, if I may.”
Celestia looked up to see that Square Knot had returned, flanked by two other ponies.
“Oh, sun and moon, he’s sitting on the throne,” the mare whispered faintly.
“I've found his parents, Highness,” said Square Knot. “May I present Cedar and Maple, of Manehatten.”
The two ponies in question politely bowed before the throne, the mare keeping her eye on her son.
“Mom! Dad!” called Walnut, jumping off the throne. He galloped down the stairs and into his mother’s open arms.
“There you are, sweetheart!” she said. “We've been looking all over for you!”
“You gave us quite a scare when you wandered off,” said his father.
“It's okay, the Princess took care of me! She let me sit on the throne and gave me cookies and made a bunch of faces at this lady and then she said she loves everyone.”
“Is that so?” said his mother, Maple.
“Please don't be offended, Your Highness,” said Cedar. “Our son likes to tell outrageous tales sometimes.”
“Not to worry,” said Celestia. “He's not lying. In fact-”
Square Knot cleared his throat. “It's quarter to six, Highness.”
“Ah well, duty calls,” she said. “I'd be happy to elaborate on anything he tells you. I'd hate for you to think he was just making up stories. Why not join me for the sunset petitions?”
“Petitions?” repeated Cedar. “But I thought those were reserved for making specific requests.”
“You can make a request, if you like. Most ponies do, but I find sitting and talking is more satisfying than taking questions. Square Knot, see to it that this family is on the reservation list, if you would.”
“Certainly,” he said. “Come with me, please.”
Square Knot led the family to the registration desk and they spoke excitedly about a guaranteed chance to speak with the princess, while Celestia made her way toward the dining hall for dinner. She would have liked to invite the family to join her at the table, but those places were reserved in advance and Breezy had lectured her more than once about rearranging the seating plan on a whim.
At the edge of her hearing, Maple giggled and Celestia broke into a wide grin, actually skipping a few paces down the hall. What a delight it had been to simply spend time with one of her youngest subjects! What a wonderful change of pace to speak honestly with somepony who simply enjoyed her company rather someone who wanted something from her.
These were the moments she craved, she realized. Not those wild adventures those books had spoken about. Just she and another pony, enjoying each other’s companionship. Such moments were brief, but stood out in her memory, as if lit to gold by the sunlight.
