An Earth Pony, Pegasus, and Unicorn Walk Into Canterlot Castle

by BusFullOfLlamas

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 3573

A pegasus stallion drags his best friends into a scheme that would see the end of Celestia's rule and pave the way for Princess Twilight to come to power.

Rolling Tapes- a pegasus stallion from Trottingham and filmmaker- drags his two best friends, Jovial Script- a unicorn stallion with a thyroid problem- and Ink Blot- an earth pony mare with a pension for the fine arts, into a scheme that would bring an end to the tyrannical rule of the not-so-benevolent Celestia once and for all, allowing for the true and rightful ruler of the throne, Princess Twilight, to come to power. Sounds easy, right? Well it is. All they have to do is go through the Solar Guard of the ‘Tyrant Sun’, the Night Watch of the ‘Weird Blue One’, and the Love Legion of the ‘Quite Pleasant Pink Princess’, sneak into the forbidden archives, steal priceless amounts of knowledge to condemn Celestia. All while documenting it with a camera no one really knows how to use so that everypony could see the truth!

How are they going to do this, you ask?

Well, they haven’t tried the front door yet.

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A special thanks to my good friend and co-author for this story, RandomlyPonies.

Published 2013-05-07 23:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-16 22:25:54 UTC

Prologue: Of Plans and Angry Mares

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the intellectual property of Lauren Faust, Hasbro, and many others. I am making no claims whatsoever that I own any part of the world used, nor it’s characters.

With that out of the way, let’s begin!

An Earth Pony, Pegasus, and Unicorn Walk Into Canterlot Castle

Prologue:

Of Plans and Angry Mares

---------Bzzzt---------------

---------BEEP--------------

---------Recording; 20 minutes left on tape-----------

A small room comes to life, very low lighting, enough so that one would have to strain to see anything that was going on. Which was, admittedly not very much. A round table could be seen with three chairs positioned around it. And if one were to look REALLY close, one would be able to see that the chairs were occupied by two ponies, not much else could be taken from the image.

"MOTHERBUCKER! Finally!" A voice was heard close to the camera, decidedly male, and with an accent similar to those from North Trottingham. "I thought I wouldn't be able to record this. An' that would've just been awful wouldn't-"

"Get on with it Tapes! It's way past midnight, and I want some sleep. Script, could you get the lights please?" One of the two ponies shrouded in the darkness said, this voice belonged to a mare, and from the tone she was using, it was clear that she was rather exasperated.

"Right away." A third voice chimed in tiredly whilst stifling a yawn, this one still male, though without the accent the other stallion carried.

"Nonono!" The first voice shouted quickly, scrambling towards the opposite end of the room, while a white aura of magic came to life in frame, bathing everything in a light glow. The caster of the magic, as well as the owner of the third voice was a large, light purple unicorn with a white and purple mane. His cutie mark was of a feather quill writing upon an open book, showing his talent to be of a studious nature. The pony across from him was a much smaller earth pony mare, she appeared to have a pale orange coat, a darker orange pattern similar to paint splatters going up her legs. She had a bright teal mane. A look of pure annoyance was plastered onto her face.

Suddenly, the light in the room became far more intense, but before any more details of the room or the pony’s in it could be revealed, a dark blue hoof was the only thing that could be seen. A second later, the camera was turned off.

------------Recording Stopped; 19.7 minutes left on tape----------------

The room was bathed in light from a single incandescent bulb hanging from a wire in the ceiling. With this new light came the features of the room and those within. The table was made of an old worn wood, an heirloom passed down from several generations. The chairs appeared just as old, however, they were clearly scrounged from whatever was available. A large oak chair that was supported by four legs, one of which appeared to be makeshift and fashioned from a two-by-four, held the small earth pony mare. With the new light one could more easily make out her teal mane and orange coat, her cutie mark however was still obscured. An old ashen wood chair supported the large frame of the unicorn, his light lilac colored coat and bi-shaded mane matted from having been in bed prior to this meeting. Hi cutie mark visible on his right flank.

“Why’d ya’ gotta go and do that?” The stallion with the accent said, sighing as he put the expensive looking camera down on the table. “There’s a reason why I wanted to record this! Not to mention I just got it working!" The voice belonged to a dark blue pegasus. He had a light blue mane with a stripe of green going through it. His cutie mark was that of two megaphones crossing each other. Before he could say anything else, the mare of the group spoke out.

“There’s also a reason why I don’t kick your sorry flank back to Trottingham.” She said, rubbing her temples softly with a hoof. “You said this was urgent.” The unicorn nodded, a tired expression, complete with dark bags under his eyes. “I would like to get some sleep.”

The blue stallion, for his part, looked offended at the treatment he was getting from his friends. “Of course this is urgent! When ‘ave I EVER said something was urgent enough for you to come over to my place at... What time is it?” “Twelve thirty.” “Twelve thirty? Blimey... Twelve thirty in the morning to discuss something that needs our utmost and total attention, only for it to be not urgent at all!?” He paused, the other two ponies glanced at each other with a familiar look of mild annoyance splayed across their features. “Recently, at least!”, the Pegasus said, trying to bring the other two around, in vain.

The other two looked incredulous at the blue stallions rant. With a sigh, the heavily freckled earth pony mare stood up, revealing her cutie mark was a light bulb with a paint splatter behind it.

“Sorry Tapes, I need my sleep. I’m out.” She began walking to the door, only for the blue pegasus, now identified as Tapes, to open his wings, blocking her exit.

“I’m not jokin’ around this time!” He said. “There really is something I need to talk to you about.”

The mare stared into the much taller stallion, looking for any reason why she shouldn't just push her way through him. She must have found something in his endearing expression or serious tone of voice because she soon let out a sigh, heading back to her seat with heavy hoof steps.

“Alright .” Tapes said, walking to the table and taking a seat at the empty chair. He smiled and pulled a rather large looking scroll from a pile on a nearby counter. Opening it with a flourish, he presented it to his companions, only for the unicorn to look at it with a confused expression.

“What in Luna’s name is this?” He asked.

"This, Script my friend, is how we’re going to remove Celestia from the throne. Reign in the control Luna has on the courts, and bring Princess Twilight to rightful power.” He smiled and looked at his companions. They both wore looks of complete disbelief on their features, mouths hanging agape as they stared at him.

“So... how do you like it?”

Jovial crossed his forelegs and brought his right hoof to his chin in thought. “What about Princess Cadence?” He asked.

“Ah. Well. I quite like ‘er, to be honest. She seems nice to me... Anyways, all we’ll need to do is get past the Solar Guard, the Night Watch, AND the Love Legion before we can even hope to bring the Tyrant down. But before we can even begin to execute this, we'll need to get into the castle proper. To do this, I suggest we sneak in using the Canterlot caves. Y’know. The ones that Princess Cadence was trapped in during the changeling invasion a few years ago? And in order to do this we’ll need a distraction, and I’m thinking-”

“Are you serious?” The orange mare asked, cutting off the enthusiastic pegasus.

“Well...” He began. “Of course, this is just a BASIC plan, an’ it’ll be fleshed out in better detail... But, yeah...” Tapes brought his hoof to his lips, in a thinking pose. “And I was thinking that ya’ would make a fantastic distraction for any guard... Inky... Ink Blot? Are you okay?”

The mare in questions eye had taken to twitching during his speech. Violently. She allowed herself to take a sharp inhale of breath before yelling at the top of her lungs.

“BUCK YOU, ROLLING TAPE! YOU FAUST DAMNED PSYCHOPATH!"

Needless to say, the rest of the neighborhood was woken up as a result of the diminutive mare shouting, and then proceeding to try to beat the pegasus stallion into last Thursday. The pegasus quickly dashed for the window and jumped to safety, hovering just outside.

Chapter 1: Of Making Friends and Breaking Bones

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the intellectual property of Lauren Faust, Hasbro, and many others. I am making no claims whatsoever that I own any part of the world used, nor it’s characters.

An Earth Pony, Pegasus, and Unicorn Walk Into Canterlot Castle
Chapter 1:
Of Making Friends and Breaking Bones

Ink Blot was an earth pony, with an orange coat and bright teal mane and tail. However, most ponies identified her by the dark splatter pattern of her coat that went from the bottom of her hooves, and lead up her legs. Her parents- both of which were pegasi- would tell her that as a small filly she loved to play with colour, so much so that her coat had adopted the pattern of paint on canvas.

Her cutie mark, was that of a paint splatter behind a light bulb, showed her talent of coming up with new and interesting ideas, and expressing them through art. Art... That was why she was here, in Manehatten. The bustling city was one of artist of all shapes and sizes. Actors, comedians, and of course, painters like her were common place here.

She had just arrived in the central train station from her long eight hour ride from Fillydelphia, and she was looking forward to finding a place to spend the night. She smiled, adjusting her saddlebags with her mouth before heading out.

She walked down the busy streets with wide eyes, Fillydelphia was no small city by any stretch of the imagination, but the busy streets of Manehatten made her home city look like a quaint little village. She was utterly awed at how big some of these buildings were. The mare walked around in this fashion for the better part of the day, totally unaware that she was being followed by a single stallion.

While Fillydelphia was a decently large city, it was one that experienced very little crime. In fact, the last large crime that occurred was a few years ago, wherein an old earth pony stallion named ‘Stinking Rich’ had committed an act of fraud, stealing countless bits from many different companies.

With this in mind, it was no surprize that when Ink Blot came across a dark alleyway, she spent no time thinking if she should enter or not. Simply trotting past a large lavender unicorn, who was watching her with interest.

Jovial Script had spent his entire life growing up and living in the bustling metropolis of Manehatten, and as a result, he knew pretty much every in and out of busy city. Where all the best coffee shops are, where the best street performers play, he even knew where the best quill shops were.

He was a light lavender unicorn, with a dual colored mane and tail. He was rather robust in stature, similar to most of the noble minded ponies around him, he had not done this to his body on purpose, however. His overall shape was the result of a thyroid burning out when he was a younger colt.

His cutie mark was an open book being written upon by a feather quill. His talent lay in understanding the history of the pony tribes to such a degree that it was essentially first hoof knowledge to him. He was currently attempting to get his degree in equinology. To make a living, he billed himself out as an author for hire, it wasn't much, but it was enough to make decent living a reality.

He was, like Ink Blot, walking down the cramped streets of the city, interested more in the ponies, donkeys, and the occasional griffin, rather than the towering skyscrapers. The foalish wonder of seeing a building stretch into the sky had long since disappeared, replaced with a certain breed of normality, or perhaps even disdain.

To Jovial Script, the hustling and bustling city was a place of dull concrete. One of the few things making it even barely tolerable was the numerous museums, proudly displaying the history of the three Pony Tribes and the Griffish Kingdoms. There were even a few dedicated to dragon and diamond dog culture.

The other reason, was simply the citizens themselves. He would often find himself sitting at an outside cafe, or a city bench, content to simply watch the other ponies continue on with their lives. This is what he was doing at the moment, sitting on a bench in one of the less populated of the cities districts. He was about to head back to his little apartment when a mare caught his eye.

She was orange and tiny. If it wasn’t for the way that she carried herself, Script would’ve thought she was a filly. She was certainly looking at the buildings around her like one. He shook his head and stood up, walking in the direction she was coming from. He was ready to forget about the diminutive mare until he saw a shady looking unicorn stallion follow her into an alleyway.

The large unicorn narrowed his eyes, he couldn’t tell if the stallion was planning anything funny but... Better safe than sorry.

Rolling Tapes was a tall blue stallion, his body more reminiscent to that of an earth pony than a pegasus, despite this he was still able to fly quite well. He has a relatively short mane and tail, and it was a slightly lighter shade of blue than his coat with a light green stripe going through it. Curiously, he wore a dark green scarf around his neck, even though it was not cold out even in the slightest.

The stallions cutie mark, or as most colts in Trottingham called it- his emblem- was that of two megaphones, the ones used by directors so they could speak to the entire cast and crew, crossing each other. Ever since he was a colt, the pegasus was absolutely enamored with any and all elements of cinema. The art of film was still a rather new one, after all, the invention of the video camera was only around fifty years ago.

To cinema, like many other forms of art, Manhattan was a breeding ground for creativity, many of the best films have been made from studios situated here. Unfortunately for Tapes, the need for new directors was very few and far between. In order for him to be signed as a director for a project, he needed experience, to get experience he needed to do projects, to do projects he needed experience... On and on the cycle went.

The stallion shook his head, trying to clear out those frustrating thoughts. He decided to focus on his flying. He had only been in this city for about a week, and the best progress with regards to beginning his career was the purchasing of his new camera, which was secured tightly in a large saddle bag.

He smiled as he flew around the tall reaching buildings, the sky was by far less busy than what it looked like on the ground. Speaking of which, the view from up here was... well it was absolutely beautiful. Rolling Tapes always had a rather odd view of beauty. Where others saw an empty field as a place of tranquility and peace, he saw only grass. Alternatively, where others saw big skyscrapers as nothing but chunks of concrete, Tapes saw the physical representation of progress.

Sometimes he would hijack a cloud and just watch the city transition from day to night, and it would never cease to make the stallion happy.

He was now looking for a place to land that was close to his tiny, rundown apartment that was not overrun with ponies, and he thought he had found such a place in the form of an alleyway. It seemed that there wasn’t anypony in it. He allowed himself to fall into a glide, aiming for the alley.

Ink Blot sighed as she walked into the shadows, she could’ve sworn that it was a lot less dark and scary from outside it. She paused, considering turning around and finding another way.

“Don’t be a silly filly, Ink Blot. You’re a grown mare, you can handle a little darkness.” She said to herself, taking a few tentative steps.

She had made it about halfway down the alley, when she heard a deep chuckle come from behind her.

“Hey pretty filly. What are you doing on this side of town?” A gruff voice asked, and she could tell that he was walking closer to her. Eyes widening, she began walking faster, hoping to get out of the darkness and into public before anything could happen, unfortunately, she wasn’t quick enough.

“Oh no you don’t!” He said, grabbing the orange mare in a magical hold, preventing her from moving. “Scream and you’re dead.” Ink Blot could only nod her head, too afraid of what the unicorn would do to her. She felt him rummaging around in her saddlebags no doubt looking for anything that could be worth a few bits. She felt her heartbeat grow quicker, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to find anything of value.

“What the buck is this!? You’ve got nothing!” She heard him growl into her ear. “Pretty mare like you? You’ve got to have some bits hidden away somewhere!” The earth pony mare saw a knife float into her vision. “Where!?”

She was about to answer her assailant when two voices called out at once, each coming from opposite ends of the alleyway.

“HEY! What do you think you’re doing!?” One voice said, coming from where she came from, she wasn’t able to see it’s owner.

“OI! GIT YA’ BLEEDIN’ ‘OOVES OF ‘ER!” The other, heavily accented voice came from in front of her and looked to belong to what appeared to be a tall pegasus stallion. In the back of her mind, she identified the accent as one from Trottingham.

“Walk away and I won’t hurt her.” She heard her captor growl, the knife coming close enough that she could feel it against her c

“OR,” yelled the pony with the accent, “Ya’ walk, or I’ll ma’e sure ya’ neva’ walk again!” Ink Blot narrowed her eyes, watching as the pegasus walked closer. She could feel the magical aura of her attacker falter. If she timed things right... Apparently, both her and her attacker had forgotten about the stallion behind them, that is, until a small rock shot past what she assumed was his head.

“STAY BACK!” Her captor bellowed, pressing the blade of the knife further against her throat, almost hard enough to pierce the skin.

Another rock came whizzing towards them, this time, the piece of stone found it’s mark, hitting her captor directly on the horn. This was enough to break the stallions concentration. As soon as she felt the magical aura around her hooves fade, she acted. She spun on her hooves, planting her forelegs solidly on the ground, she grinned, delivering a solid buck to her attackers chest.

As soon as her hooves connected, the air left the unicorns chest. He was almost instantly on the ground, trying desperately to force air into his lungs. Before he could even attempt to recover, Ink Blot was on him, furiously stomping on him.

“YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST MUG ME!?” She yelled as she pounded him. “YOU’RE JUST LUCKY I DON’T MUG YOU!”

Caught off guard by the tiny mare’s actions, the two standing stallions looked at each other, both wearing similar expressions of confusion, surprise, and no small amount of fear in their eyes. They were both brought back into the real world by the orange mare’s continuous stomps. She was still shouting, and every word was accompanied by her beating the downed stallion.

“YOU!” Smack. “STUPID!” Thump. “IDIOT!” CRACK. Ink Blot was breathing heavily, strained from the severe beating she just delivered to the bloody colt on the ground.

She let out a breath, looking around the alley to find her two saviours cowering in fear, holding each other in their hooves. She smiled at them, and they both flinched away from her.

“Don’ hurt us!” The blue pegasus all but screamed, grasping the other stallion in abject terror. The other stallion- who she could now identify as somepony that she walked passed earlier- was nodding his head. “We’ll give you anything you want!” He said, peeking out from behind the other stallions wings.

Her eyes widened, “Why would you think that I’d...” She was interrupted by the two cowering stallions pointing to the pony that was bleeding on the ground.

“Oh...” She frowned slightly, before sighing. “We’d better call the police about him... huh?” The other two- for their part- nodded stiffly, still obviously terrified by the tiny mare in front of them.

“Uh...” She started. “I’m Ink Blot...”

“Rolling Tapes!” The pegasus said, voice cracking slightly.

“J-Jovial Script.” The other stallion stuttered out, only for the orange earth pony to smile at them.

“Nice to meet you!”

Author's Note

And here's the first real chapter! A big thanks to RandomlyPonies for being my beta reader and making sure that I didn't royally mess this up.