A Really Awkward Morning

by Lance Skyes

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Pipsqueak, Rarity, Random, Shining Armor, Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sweetie Belle
Length: 2372

The title exactly.

Sweetie Belle walks into the kitchen one morning to find Shining Armor cooking eggs. It all goes downhill from there.

Published 2013-05-09 00:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-12 19:28:14 UTC

A Really Awkward Morning

Sweetie Belle was lying in bed one morning, fast asleep. She opened her eyes slowly as the sun shined on her face. She stretched and yawned loudly. “Ah,” she said to herself, “that was a pretty good night’s sleep.” She got out of bed and headed down to the kitchen, where she thought Rarity was already up cooking breakfast. “Morning, Rarity,” she said as she walked into the kitchen.

“Morning, Sweetie Belle,” an unfamiliar voice replied. Sweetie Belle jolted wide awake to find that it was actually a stallion in the kitchen. He had a white coat and a blue messed-up mane with a light blue stripe through it.

“Who are you?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Oh, I don’t think we ever met,” the stallion replied. “I’m Shining Armor, Twilight’s brother. How do you want your eggs?”

Sweetie Belle just stood there for a moment, still puzzled. “Would you mind telling me why you’re in my house and why you’re cooking eggs? And for that matter, would you mind telling me why you’re in Ponyville in the first place? I thought you lived in the Crystal Empire.”

“Oh, Rarity called me over last night. She wanted me to... fix a problem she had with her... plumbing. Yeah, plumbing. Now, do you even want eggs or are you going to keep asking me all these questions?”

“Uh, I guess I’ll have my eggs scrambled.” Sweetie Belle then went over to the table and took her seat. “So why did Rarity call you to fix her plumbing? She called Rainbow Dash to do the same thing just last week.”

Shining Armor turned around, levitating a plate of eggs in front of him. A look of awkward satisfaction came over his face. “I guess Rarity just needed a stallion’s touch for this job.” He then walked over and set the eggs in front of Sweetie Belle, who just looked at the eggs for a while. “Is there a problem?”

Sweetie Belle turned to Shining Armor. “Yeah. What were you really doing with Rarity, because there are several gaps in your story. First off, why would Rarity call somepony in the middle of the night to fix her plumbing?”

“She needed a shower.”

“Second, I got a hot shower last night, so there were no problems with the plumbing at all. Third, there are several plumbers here in Ponyville, so she wouldn’t have to call somepony from the Crystal Empire. Fourth-”

“Good morning, Shining Armor,” Rarity interrupted, trotting in, her mane about as messed up as Shining Armor’s was. “Oh, good morning Sweetie Belle. I see you’ve already met Shining Armor. Did he cook eggs for you? That’s so nice of him.” She then trotted over and gave Shining Armor a kiss on the cheek. “Sleep well, my prince?”

Sweetie Belle looked back over at Shining Armor, her look skeptical as ever. “Something you want to explain, ‘my prince’?”

“Why are you asking all these questions?” Shining Armor exploded. “How does it affect you?”

“She’s my big sister!”

“And that means you don’t have to have any part in my personal life,” Rarity added. “Now, would you mind introducing me to the colt trying to sneak out of the front door?”

Sweetie Belle looked over in horror as she noticed Pipsqueak, who failed at sneaking out the front door. “Pipsqueak!” Sweetie Belle shouted, “I told you to sneak out the window!”

“You know you live on the second story, right?” Pipsqueak retorted. “That’s at least a 20-foot drop. I kind of need my legs not broken.”

“Well then...” Sweetie Belle was unable to say anything or defend herself against Rarity or Shining Armor.

“Well, now,” Rarity said. “It would seem I’m not the only one here guilty of craving an ‘enjoyable’ night, then.”

“You know there were several times when I could see you easily and you know how impressionable a filly like me is. It’s not like I was ever taught it was a bad thing, and obviously you weren’t, either.”

All four ponies just stood there in silence for the longest time before Shining Armor broke the silence. “How about this,” he said, walking in between Rarity and Sweetie Belle. “I’ll cook breakfast for everypony and we can settle this argument afterwards.” He then looked over to find Pipsqueak making a break for the door. “Not so fast, little one,” he said as he grabbed Pipsqueak’s tail with his magic. “You’re going to stay here too, and you’re going to eat what I cook for you. Then we’ll all have a proper discussion. Everypony understand?”

Rarity and Sweetie Belle looked at each other for a moment, both sending each other powerful glares. “Fine,” Sweetie Belle said, never breaking her gaze with Rarity. “As long as I don’t have to sit next to her.”

“I can live with that,” Rarity said in reply, also never breaking her gaze.

“Good,” Shining Armor said. He then turned to Pipsqueak, who was still hanging upside down next to Shining Armor, being held by the tail in Shining Armor’s energy field. “And you, little one?”

“Y-yes sir,” Pipsqueak replied quickly, nodding his head violently.

Shining Armor then moved Pipsqueak to the table and seated him next to Sweetie Belle. “Now,” Shining Armor said, “how does everypony want their eggs?”

Later, all four ponies were eating their eggs in an almost painful silence. Sweetie Belle and Rarity not even looking at each other, Pipsqueak about as nervous as a worm in an apple on cider making day, and Shining Armor on guard in case anypony started arguing again. (And by ‘anypony’, of course that only means Sweetie Belle and Rarity.) Finally, it was Rarity who broke the silence. “So,” she said to Sweetie Belle, who barely looked over, “how was Pipsqueak?”

“You’re asking about it now?” Sweetie Belle shouted. “How dare you!”

“Oh, and you asking Shining Armor all those questions was perfectly excusable.”

“Only because I had no idea what happened! He kept trying to tell me he was helping with your plumbing!”

“What? But that’s exactly why I called him over!”

“Huh?” Sweetie Belle was completely puzzled, now. “What do you mean? What about Rainbow Dash and-”

“Rainbow Dash tried to help last week, but the same problem came up, so I had to ask Shining Armor to help this time.”

“But why call him over from the Crystal Empire?”

“Because he was already in Ponyville visiting Twilight.”

“Wait... so you two didn’t...”

“Actually, we did. I found myself short on bits to pay him, so that was the next best thing. And Pipsqueak? Is there some weird story behind that, too?”

“Yeah, we were studying together and I suggested we try something that I saw you do once.”

Everypony just sat there in silence as everything that was just said sank in. “Well, then,” Shining Armor finally said, trying to look and sound cheerful, “this was a nice little get-together, but I’m afraid I have to be going. Pipsqueak, I’m sure, also needs to leave, and I’ll leave you two to... something.” He then got up and walked out the front door. “Goodbye, everypony.”

BONUS:MLPR Sneak Peak 1

(This is a sneak preview of one scene from Pony Rangers: The Final Battle, which will take place after the fifth season, though The Final Battle technically isn’t a season itself. There will be some of it that will make NO SENSE AT ALL and that is supposed to happen. Again, this is not necessarily at the beginning of the fic, just the middle. Now, here’s your out-of-context sneak preview.)

All 28 Pony Rangers stood in front of a small makeshift stage where they were supposed to be given a speech and a briefing of why they were summoned. They were talking amongst each other, asking questions and many yeilding no answers before Time Turner took the stage above the Rangers. “Everypony settle down,” he called to the other Rangers, who all instantly got quiet and paid close attention. “Good. Now, allow me introduce myself. My name is Time Turner, Red Time Force Pony Ranger. Second Red Time Force Ranger, actually. In a few minutes, The Doctor, who is the first Red Time Force Ranger, will appear in the TARDIS and give you a proper briefing on why he summoned you all here to this spot at this time.” After Time Turner finished speaking, a pair of orange hooves shot up into the air. “Yes, Applejack. Uh, either one.”

The Applejack with a hat spoke first. “Do you know why we’re here?” she asked.

“Not really. All The Doctor told me was that there was going to be a huge battle here and we needed every single Ranger who ever existed for it.”

The Applejack without a hat asked her question next. “Who exactly is this ‘Doctor’ you’re talkin’ about?” she asked.

Time Turner was about to reply, but a noise behind him stopped him. “Ah. You can go ahead and ask him yourself. He’s here.” Time Turner stepped aside as a strange blue box faded in and out of view slowly, making a whirring sound that seemed to be doing the same thing, before becoming solid before all the ponies. At the top of the box in white letters were ‘Police Public Call Box’. Right after the box became solid, the door on it opened and out stepped what appeared to be a human in a brown coat, black pants, and a bow tie. The human adjusted his bow tie and stepped forward to speak to the Rangers.

“‘Ello, everypony,” the man said in a british accent. “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m The Doctor, as I’m sure my friend Time Turner here explained. Like him, I’m a Time Lord, so don’t go around thinking that I’m a human. Unlike Time Turner, however, I’m from a planet called Gallafrey. Don’t go looking for it in the night sky, any of you three ‘Twilight Sparkle’ ponies. It’s long dead and it would be far from Equestria, anyway. Far out of view.

“But that’s enough with formallities. Time to get on with what I shoved you all into that box over there and brought you here for. Equestria is in peril unlike anything any of you have ever seen before. Beyond anything I’ve ever seen before, even. All of your old villains, Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, and Trollzar the Ever Trollin’, have all been resurrected by my oldest foe, The Master. Now, The Master is another Time Lord, but he’s far from anything like me or Time Turner. He is a being of pure evil. He once turned every single human on Earth into a clone of himself. I beat him then, but he’s gone way further than that, this time around.” (Actually, I don’t think I ever saw ‘The End of Time’ all the way through. Though a friend told me that was David Tennant’s last episode.) “He’s put together an army of the most dangerous living things in existence, the Daleks. Dangerous and vengeful creatures who pilot killer robots that have nearly been the end of me time and time again. The Master’s got to have at least a thousand of them as well as all your old foes.” The Doctor paused for a moment as he noticed many of the ponies before him shifting around nervously. “Don’t worry, my little ponies. (He turned to Time Turner and added “No offense, but that’s just so fun to say.”) Daleks may seem invincible by most means of combat. In fact, the basic rule of thumb (“Again, no offence intended. It’s just a human expression.”) is to never fight a Dalek, even a single one. However, Daleks never have to contend with creatures of as much power as you Pony Rangers. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Now, The Master and his army will be here in...” The Doctor paused to check his watch. “About ten minutes. Any questions? Anypony? Twilight? Alicorn Twilight? Cyborg Twilight? Come on, I was counting on questions from you three. What about you, Princess Luna? Young Princess Luna? Ms. Faust, I’m sure you have something to ask. No?” The Doctor threw his hands into the air and turned to Time Turner. “You’ve got a pretty tough crowd, here.” The Doctor then turned around and started walking towards the TARDIS. “If anypony needs me, I’ll be in here gathering everypony’s morphers.” He entered the TARDIS and shut the door, leaving Time Turner to commandeer the stage once again.

Time Turner cleared his throat and began speaking. “Isn’t he an eternity’s worth of laughs?” he asked with a chuckle. “It’s funny because he’s a... time traveler. Ahem. Anyway, believe me when I say, this battle will be a piece of cake if you just keep fighting, never give up, and for the love of Celestia,” (He paused to indicate Celestia in the crowd.) “don’t underestimate the Daleks. They’re much more dangerous than the tin cans they seem to be.” Just then, The Doctor came out of the TARDIS with his arms full of all the ponies morphers.

“Here ya go, everypony,” The Doctor said. “Everypony’s in this battle. Not a single one left out.” He then tossed all the morphers into the crowd, each one of which seemed to easily land in the hooves of their respective owners. “Now then, The Master should be arriving in about...” The Doctor paused to check his watch again. “Oh, any minute now. Right over there.” He pointed out in the distance where it did seem like something was gathering in large numbers. “There they are,” The Doctor said, his voice getting lower. “The Daleks and The Master.”

“Nightmare,” Rainbow Dash said to herself.

“Discord,” Scootaloo said.

“Chrysalis,” Alicorn Twilight said.

“Sombra,” Time Turner said.

“Trollzar,” Firefly said.

“Everything I’ve been trying to avoid this whole time,” Lauren Faust said.

The Doctor jumped over the ponies and onto the ground between the ponies and the Daleks. “Get ready, everypony,” The Doctor said, readjusting his bow tie. “The new time war has begun.”

(Keep following MLPR and maybe some of this will start to make sense. I might post more sneak peaks, I might not.)