The Life of Lyra

by SigmatheAwesome

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Lyra, Romance
Length: 6826

Lyra wants a simple life, with the biggest challenge being telling Bon Bon her true feelings. The universe, however, apparently hates her.

Lyra just wants a simple life.

She wants to live in her cozy cottage in Ponyville with her roomate, best friend and crush Bon Bon, playing the lyre whenever she wants, studying her unusual hobby of non-pony sentient creatures, where the biggest threat to her life is when a string breaks, the biggest challenge to her life is what to have for lunch, and the biggest mystery is whether Bon Bon likes her the same way.

Unfortunately the universe doesn't want to give her the privelege, it seems.

Whether dealing with supernatural mysteries, fighting demons and vampires, trying to get a cult off her tail, avoiding the chaos of Ponyville life, traversing alternate worlds, or handling the widespread destruction caused by giant alien creatures and/or robots, all that Lyra wants in her crazy life is a break. And maybe a slice of pie.

Published 2013-08-20 00:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-06 04:28:29 UTC

2 Haunting

"Lyra?" Bon Bon's voice called from downstairs.

Lyra slowly opened her eyes, the harsh glare of the sun bearing down into the white carpet of her room.

"Lyra!" Bon Bon called again.

Lyra tried to sit up, but her back left hoof was tangled in the bedsheets and she fell with a crash to the floor. "Ow..."

As she turned around to fiddle with the sheet (how the hay did it get that tangled...) the door opened softly, so softly Lyra didn't even hear it.

"Lyra?"

Lyra yelped and fell to her back. She opened her eyes and saw the beige pony staring at her with her adorable blue eyes.

"Lyra, are you alright?"

"Never better." Lyra cracked a grin, happy that she had actually come here to check on her. With a flick of her now-active horn the bedsheet unravelled itself and she stood up.

Bon Bon scoffed, running a hoof over the mint-green mare's mane. "You really need to brush your hair more."

Lyra sighed, simply enjoying the sensation. It wasn't for another second that she realised that Bon Bon had stopped and was walking down the stairs.

"How do pancakes sound for breakfast?"

"Sounds awesome." Lyra trotted behind her, already imagining the soft, airy texture and the rich syrup dribbled all-

SMAK!

Lyra fell to her haunches, having just run into the structural pillar that the architect so-cleverly decided would be good to have sort-of in the way of the stairs. Again.

Bon Bon stifled a giggle. She laughs at everything, Lyra recalled, and she started to giggle as well.

"I shouldn't be laughing, sorry." Bon Bon calmed down, using her teeth to tie up an apron.

"It's fine." Lyra dismissed. "Hey, do you want me to-?"

Bon Bon froze, and shot a panicked look back at her. "You are not helping me this time, Lyra."

"But-"

"Do you know how much that oven cost?"

Lyra paused, then hung her head in shame. "I just wanna feel useful..."

That wasn't completely the case. While Lyra did have an urge to be useful whenever an opportunity arose, she also wanted to prove her skills to Bon Bon, and what better than to help her with cooking.

Unfortunately their last oven didn't survive the aftermath. The toaster survived, albeit with part of the casing melted and/or gone. Just as long as nopony puts paper near the hole it worked perfectly.

"I know you do, Lyra, but... I really don't have the bits right now."

Lyra sighed, taking a seat on one of the couches in their lounge. "Maybe if we sold the TV-?"

"We are not selling the TV, Lyra." Lyra could pick up the humoured tone in her voice.

Lyra giggled. "Relax, Bonny, I was joking."

"Well, if you're that desperate to help, could you run down to the shops and get some eggs? I, uh... Kinda forgot it last time."

Lyra sighed and pushed herself upright, trotting back up to her room. "Alrighty then."

"I'll pay you back." She called back, while Lyra grabbed her wallet and a pair of saddlebags.

"Cool thanks." Lyra nearly leapt down the stairs (Bon Bon winced) and continued to the door. "Free-range as usual?"

Bon Bon nodded. "Now be off with you."

"As thou wishes, milady." Lyra bowed, walking backwards and using her flank to push the door open. "I shall be but a moment."

Lyra smiled, feeling the weight of the carton of eggs against her. As she bit into the chocolate bar in her magic she hummed a tune that came to her mind, simply enjoying the sights of her sort-of quiet home town, Ponyville.

She felt a shiver down her spine as she passed one particular roadway. This roadway, as most ponies around Ponyville knew, lead to an abandoned mansion up the road. It was in a prime area of land, had a large garden that many ponies would maim to have, and so many other useful things about it.

The only reason that it was isolated and wasn't even on the real-estate system was because it was apparently haunted.

Not that Lyra cared.

She continued on back to her home, and once within she (carefully) put the eggs on the counter. "Bon Bon~" She cooed in a silly sort-of-way.

Bon Bon turned her head back. "Hey Lyra." Her eyes flicked to the eggs. "Ah, thanks. Get anything else?"

Lyra at this point realised that she was still holding a chocolate bar in her magic. "Uh, just a bar of chocolate."

Bon Bon made a mock hurt pout. "But... I thought you liked my chocolate better..."

Despite the obviously fake expression, Lyra's brain went into 'oh crap I just hurt her feelings I must rectify" mode, in the 'overdrive is pathetic, try this' stage. "W-well I thought that you'd be too busy making pancakes to make some chocolate and I wanted some and-"

"Lyra, chill." Bon Bon placed a hoof on her shoulder, grinning. "I was just teasing."

Lyra's adrenalin lowered. "R-right, uh..." She coughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck.

Bon Bon's grin dropped into an expression of concern. "Lyra, really, it's ok. You can eat whatever you want."

Lyra managed a weak grin. "Awesome." She blinked, then wrapped her magic around something else in her saddlebag. "I, uh..." Another awkward cough. "I got you one as well. Y'know, if you want it."

Bon Bon's eyes traced the bar of chocolate as it was lifted in front of her. "Dark chocolate, huh?"

"Yeah."

Bon Bon smiled and took the bar in her hoof. "Thanks. I'll have it later, if you don't mind."

Lyra waved her hoof. "Nah, go ahead and eat it when you..." She blinked, looked above Bon Bon's head, and spotted the glowing spectre cowering behind her. "What do you want?"

"Huh?" Bon Bon raised an eyebrow. "Are you talking to me?"

"No, it's that ghost there." Lyra pointed, and Bon Bon looked where the ghost was.

"I can't see anything."

"It's probably got this thing where only some can see it or something." Lyra trotted closer. "Can I help you?"

The ghost lowered its hooves from its face, regarding Lyra with big, puppy-dog eyes.

"Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you..." Lyra rubbed her chin. "Well, actually, I can't even if I wanted to. What with you being ethereal and all."

The ghost said nothing.

"You got a name?"

The ghost nodded.

"And that would be...?"

The ghost said nothing. Again.

"You mute or something?" Lyra bit into her chocolate again.

The ghost nodded and removed her hooves from around her neck. A great big chunk at the front was missing, but lacked blood. Or the ghost equivalent.

Lyra gagged. "Damnit, I'm trying to eat here! I'm really sorry you lost your throat... somehow... but if you can can you keep it covered?"

The ghost covered her throat again, grinning sheepishly.

Bon Bon sighed. "Either you're mad or you're actually seeing a ghost."

Lyra grabbed a sheet of paper and a quill, and laid it on the counter. "Can you help me write your name?"

The ghost nodded, and with one hoof pressed the tip through the paper. Lyra placed the quill tip where the hoof was. The ghost traced the shape of a capital B, and Lyra followed through. Following that was a r, and i, a g and a h combined, a t, a backward s, another t, an a, and another r.

"Brightstar. Huh."

Bon Bon blinked. "Did she write Brightstar?"

"Yeah, why?"

Bon Bon's face went dark. "You know the legend of Brightstar?"

"Nnnnoooo, should I?" Lyra looked at the ghost, who merely shrugged a response.

"Legend has it that Brightstar was but a young filly, who was born with both a horn and a solitary wing."

Lyra looked at Brightstar. She saw a jagged point from the kid's head, a horn that looked like it had been damaged badly, but no wings. Brightstar nodded.

"She was born into a family of Earth Ponies. The bad types, the ones who don't like unicorns or pegasi."

"Get on with it, Bonny, that isn't making the creepy tale any creepier."

Bon Bon playfully stuck her tongue out and Brightstar grinned. "As I was saying, Brightstar wasn't liked at all by her family and was beaten regularly. She was teased by all of the foals at her school, and generally had a crappy life."

"So..."

"It wasn't until many years ago that she stopped coming to school. A few days after her disappearance her folks stopped coming to town. The mansion they lived in slowly became abandoned, and nopony dared to ever come near."

"Lemme guess, the mansion is that big one up the hill from here?"

"The very same." Bon Bon added a scary inflection to her voice. Were it not for the fact that Lyra was expecting that she would have been utterly freaked out. Bon Bon was that good with her voice.

Instead, she stifled a laugh.

Bon Bon blushed. "Oh come on, Lyra, don't tell me that isn't creepy."

"The voice or the story?"

Bon Bon sighed, pressing her hoof to her face. "Point is, this ghost of yours is a dead nearly-alicorn foal who died mysteriously."

"Eh, I've read about worse concepts." Lyra waved her hoof, then turned to the spectre. "That's a compliment, kid."

Brightstar smiled.

"So, I guess you want me to do something about your deadness, huh?"

Brighstar nodded.

"Alright. I've got nothing better to do and I have a little experience with this sort of thing."

"You do?" Bon Bon asked.

"Don't ask." Lyra used her magic to grab a saddlebag and a whole horde of tools. "Come on, kid, let's go."

Lyra stood at the entrance to the property, regarding the old house. "So, this your place, kid?"

Brightstar nodded and floated forwards. Lyra followed, trying her best to ignore the shivers along her spine. In her current position she could see the torn joint where a wing would have been, a ghostly bone jabbing out the socket.

"We've really gotta get you something to cover your throat up."

Brightstar floated upside-down, nodding in agreement.

"Got any ghost wrappings or something?"

Brightstar raised an eyebrow.

"Ghost wrappings. They're basically ethereal pieces of cloth often left behind by ghosts who have passed on."

Brightstar blinked.

"I know stuff, alright?" Lyra landed a hooffall on one of the wooden steps, which creaked ominously. Lyra froze immediately.

Brightstar looked like she was starting to laugh.

Lyra ignored her and slowly ascended the stairs and trotted across the porch. "How long ago since... whatever happened has it been?"

Brightstar shrugged, and floated through the door. Lyra had to use her magic to open it, but as soon as she moved it aside it came off their hinges and crashed to the floor.

"Damnit."

Lyra trotted slowly forwards, looking along the walls of the building, noticing paintings dating back ages. A lot of them, it seems, were war heroes who had fought against different pony types.

Something snapped underhoof, and she froze.

Brightstar blinked, flying closer to her hooves and looking curiously at whatever was under her hoof.

Lyra looked down slowly, and spotted what looked like a very thin bone.

This bone was attached to a much thicker bone, which connected to a skeletal body lying across the floor. It looked pony... enough. Bits of bone stuck out where bone shouldn't really stick out of. Despite the disturbing distortion to the skull it looked like a mare's skull.

She took a wary step back. "Brightstar, what the heck is that thing?"

Brightstar tried to poke the ribcage, but her hoof passed through. She looked up and shrugged.

Lyra trotted a little closer and examined the body. "Weird..."

Something creaked behind her, and she snapped her head back to see what it was.

"Damnit... This is really freaking me out..."

Brightstar floated on, but froze as she turned a corner. An expression of recognition etched her face.

"What is it, Bright?" Lyra stepped over the body and rounded the corner. And froze too.

Painted against the wall at the end of the hall was a large, ornate, and obviously non-standard arcane circle. In the centre a tiny skeleton lay suspended, its bright yellow horn damaged badly, a pegasus-unique shoulder blade on its left side missing a wing.

"That's... That's you, huh kid?"

Brightstar nodded sombrely.

Lyra trotted up slowly, and using her magic gingerly took the bones off the wall. How they managed to stay in place was beyond her.

"Why of all days do I have to deal with occult rituals? Can't I try and deal with a giant robot? Actually, why can't I just have a normal day?"

She turned around to head back along the hall, carrying the bones softly, when another sight paralysed her.

This time, it was another skeletal body. What was different about this one was that it was completely covered in long, thick spikes that were spearing it into the walls around it. Upon closer inspection, these spikes were in fact part of the skeleton. The lower jaw looked like it was suspended open.

"For Celestia's sake, this is getting really really dark."

Brightstar looked at the body, and mouthed something. The filly continued to stare at the body for a second before playfully sticking her tongue out at it and floating out the door.

Lyra blinked, and merely followed her into the yard.

Upon the sight of two mutated ghosts glaring angrily at the filly ghost, Lyra groaned. "Oh for crying out loud."

The filly ghost smiled cheekily, and blew a raspberry at them (without a windpipe, somehow) before flying around quickly. The mare, bits of flesh and bone sticking out in weird places, gave chase, screaming in a Celestia-awful way. The stallion, his ghostly flesh torn apart with massive bone spikes, lumbered slowly towards Lyra.

And passed right through her.

Lyra started laughing. The stallion raised what little eyebrow he could.

"You're a ghost, dude." Lyra started calmly digging a hole in the ground next to the tree, grabbing a conveniently placed shovel to use. "You can't actually hurt me."

"Lyra?" Bon Bon's voice shot out from the edge of the fence.

Lyra turned to see the beige pony looking over towards her. "Oh hey Bon Bon. What are ya doing here?"

"I just came to tell you that the pancakes are done."

The spear stallion blinked one eye, the other barely moving on account of not having much face there.

"Cool, I'll be there as soon as I've buried the kid."

"Alright. Don't take too long, or they'll get cold."

Lyra continued to dig, ignoring the glowing evil apparition next to her. Eventually she managed to get enough room to place the bones in carefully. "Uh, you, Stabby McStabstab, where's the wing?"

The stallion half-blinked again, then pointed to the house.

The mare ghost let out a demonic wail that Lyra interpreted as 'what the hell are you doing?'

The stallion replied in a long, low moan which Lyra interpreted as 'I can't hurt her so I'm helping her. I'm sick of being a ghost and I think this is the best way to help'.

The mare sighed eerily, floated to the ground, and proceeded to wail extremely loudly at the stallion, who returned the vigour.

Lyra used this moment to slip away and back into the house. The vague ethereal hum of the filly ghost told her that she was being followed.

"Hey kid."

No audible reply, which made sense.

"Do you know where your wing is?"

The filly tapped her ghostly chin, her face contorted in thought. After a second her face brightened and she led Lyra past the two mutated corpses and back to the runic circle. She could see a broken set of wingbones in one corner of the hallway, which she carefully picked up and turned to leave.

And saw Bon Bon staring at the stallion's skeleton.

Lyra trotted up to her side. "Hey Bonny."

Bon Bon didn't reply. Unlike Lyra, she wasn't as good at dealing with grotesque things, mostly because she didn't see them as much.

Lyra noticed this and bumped her side, herding her away from the sight. "Come on."

Bon Bon snapped out of her daze. "Wh-whuh...?"

Lyra stopped pushing. "Yo."

Bon Bon snapped her head back to the jagged mess of bones, then back at Lyra. "What the heck is that thing?"

"Brightstar's dad or something." She nudged her. "Come on, I've got a ghost to rescue."

***

Lyra sighed, having just shovelled the last bit of dirt on top of the filly's bones. "Well, it isn't perfect, but it'll do."

Brightstar smiled, standing on top of the mound. Elsewhere, the two parents were still bickering.

Without warning, Brightstar started to glow, an aura of magic wrapping around her. A low whining noise built up as the light grew brighter and brighter, and Lyra had to cover her eyes.

Then there was a flash, and when Lyra opened her eyes a little filly ghost was standing there, her single wing fluttering eagerly and her horn all nice and spirally. All other wounds had been completely healed up.

Of course, Bon Bon still couldn't see any of it.

"Looking good, kid."

Brightstar smiled. "Thanks!"

Bon Bon looked at Lyra, confused. "What happened?"

"Brightstar looks whole again, and can speak."

"So... She hasn't passed on yet?"

Lyra blinked. "Oh, wait, that's still gotta happen."

"Maybe," Brightstar started, still getting used to having a voice. "We should see somepony who knows more about ghosts?"

"Do you know anyone?"

"Lyra, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking to Brightstar."

"No you're not." Brightstar giggled. "You're talking to your fillyfriend."

Lyra blushed. "Bon Bon is not my fillyfriend, Brightstar!" At least, not yet.

"Aww, but you look so cute together~"

"What are you two talking about?"

"SHUT UP!" Lyra shouted, silencing everything. "I can't think if you're both talking at once." She started pacing. "Ugh... Now, do we know anypony who knows anything about ghosts?"

"Aside from you?"

"Aside from me."

Bon Bon shrugged.

"Let's get out of here so we can think better." Lyra offered, already starting the journey. Silently, the two ponies joined her.

And the mutated ghosts.

Brightstar spotted them approaching, the mare flying towards her at a scary pace, and the stallion trying to move quickly with three-metre long pointy bones jabbing out of him and locking against each other. The filly ghost dashed forwards and out of the confines of the fence.

The mare ghost followed suit, but bounced off an invisible wall around the fence, a starburst of shadow flashing upon impact.

Bon Bon saw the shadow this time. She leapt a few steps back, a hoof raised in defence. "What was that?!"

"The kid's mum just hit an invisible wall."

The mare ghost kept ramming into the wall, the same pattern of shadow appearing along the wall with every hit. The filly blinked, then blew a raspberry at her.

Lyra stepped through the gate boundaries, holding the rickety wooden door open for Bon Bon, who eagerly bounced out and continued to watch the shadow pattern flash across.

"That is really freaky." Bon Bon's eyes wandered back to the shadow.

"You should see the ghost herself." Lyra smirked, before she continued on.

Lyra thunked her head on the table. "Well, this is irritating."

Bon Bon placed a mug of hot chocolate next to her. "What is?"

"I seriously don't know anypony who knows anything about ghosts."

"Aside from-"

"Aside from me, yeah."

Bon Bon pulled a seat over, and placed a hoof over her back. "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll answer itself."

Although unseen by Bon Bon, Brightstar rubbed her chin in contemplation. "Maybe the Princess knows..."

"Probably, but I don't think we're likely to get an audience with her anytime soon."

"Get an audience with who?" Bon Bon tilted her head.

"Princess Celestia."

Bon Bon smirked. "Yeah, that's not likely at all."

"Ooh!" Brightstar smiled, bouncing up and down on an ethereal plane. "Maybe I can go and see her myself! You guys don't have to come along."

"Aww, but I wanna know why you're a ghost and stuff."

"Maybe... Maybe I could bring her over?" Brightstar offered a sheepish grin.

"If you wanna try, be my guest." Lyra offered.

"This conversation is really weird to listen to." Bon Bon grinned, holding her own mug of hot chocolate.

"Akay! Be right back!" Brightstar took to the sky and drifted through the door.

Lyra waited in silence for a long while. "So..."

"Hm?"

"What's the plan for dinner?"

Lyra was expecting the filly ghost to reappear.

She wasn't expecting the freaking Princess to turn up as well. Admittedly, She was wearing a full-sized cloak that completely hid Her visible Princess-ness, but She still had an air about Her.

Lyra's first instinct, once the Princess removed Her hood and revealed Herself, was to bow, and bow hard. When she heard Her chuckle, she felt a tingle down her back and a sense of dread building up in her stomach..

"Rise, my little ponies."

Lyra found it very, very hard to rise. Somehow, she managed it, but was a little surprised to see Bon Bon was already standing tall. The beige pony offered her a small smile, which bolstered her confidence.

The Princess smiled warmly. "I believe you wish to know why Brightstar is important."

"Actually, your Highness, I just want to know why she's still a ghost, but I guess that'll be fine."

"Very well then." She started pacing, head lowered due to the height of the ceiling. "She was... An attempt at creating a Princess from birth. A magical gene implanted about a hundred years ago that went wrong-"

"Hang on a moment, Princess." Lyra raised her hoof. "You're kinda telling me some pretty weird and mysterious stuff. Are you sure I'm the right pony for this info?"

"You fight demons and deal with moral crises on a regular basis, from what I've seen. I think it's alright."

"Point taken."

"As I was saying," She continued. "My goal was to create another Princess to help my attempts to... Well, that's another story. The fact that she was born with only one wing and into a family of racist earth ponies was... unplanned."

"Yep, sounds about right." Lyra nodded. "Sounds like an attempt to use dark magic."

"Oh, it was." The Princess replied. "The family of Brightstar also tried to use their own occult rituals for... some reason I never knew, but before it could do anything I quarantined the place and completely nullified any magic within." She tapped her chin. "Or something like that, it was an awfully long time ago..."

Oh geez, she's got a bad memory. That's not good for a Princess. Lyra thought to herself, but didn't vocalise it.

"Anyway, the ritual went bad, and their bodies started to warp and twist into something far from ponykind." She closed her eyes. "And that's about the end of it."

"So...?" Lyra tilted her head.

"So," She continued. "Those ponies have been cursed for their actions, and Brightstar has now finished her quest."

"So...?" Bon Bon asked.

Celestia's eye twitched slightly. "Now she's able to pass on to the afterlife."

"Ok, so there is an afterlife." Lyra smiled. "Hey, what's it like?"

Celestia shrugged. "I have no idea. I haven't died yet."

"Oh." Lyra felt a little silly now, rubbing her foreleg awkwardly.

"Anyway," Celestia turned, pulling her hood back over. "I have some business I need to attend to. I shall leave you two be."

As she gracefully (almost, her horn bumped against the doorframe) exited, the filly ghost drifted behind her, waving to Lyra.

Lyra reciprocated the wave, watching the ghost disappear slowly, her glowing body turning into a blue mist that slowly drained into the aether.

Bon Bon trotted up, a plate of assorted vegetables in her mouth. She frowned, then placed the plate on the table. "Darnit, I was just about to offer her dinner."

"Maybe next time, Bons." Lyra playfully ruffled the beige pony's mane, before looking out the open door again.

"Brightstar's passed on?"

"Yeah." She smiled lightly. "I'm almost gonna miss her."

Bon Bon shut the door, breaking Lyra's trance. "Anyway, dinner's ready."

Lyra eagerly sat down at the table as Bon Bon served the meal.

Her smile, however, flipped when she saw what was on the plate.

"Bon Bon?"

"Yes, Lyra?"

"You know I don't like broccoli."

Author's Note

This chapter is set a few weeks before the first episode of Friendship is Magic.

3 Invasion

"So..." Bon Bon raised an eyebrow.

"So," Lyra continued. "The magical networks of bipedal creatures have to be angled in just a way so that they can stand straight without losing balance or having extremely short lifespans."

"And..."

"The networks have to be balanced in terms of magical layout." Lyra pushed glasses up her nose, looking at her research journal. "Which is why none of the bipeds of our world can't use magic or fly." She smiled, pleased with herself. "It would be, evolutionarily, impossible."

Bon Bon rubbed her chin. "A cute theory, but what if we say that, for example, evolution didn't happen, and instead everything was created by Divina and her sisters? Why didn't they give races like minotaurs magic?"

Lyra searched her brain for an explanation. "Well, it could be one of those typical myths of a deity gifting her chosen race in favour of the others, or that through some sort of need ponykind was given magic to assist in a epic battle or-"

"Lyra," Bon Bon put a hoof over her mouth. "I get it."

Lyra grinned sheepishly. "Heh heh, sorry, I just got excited."

"Your life's exciting enough as it is. Just take things a little slower." Bon Bon smiled cutely, making Lyra blush profusely.

As if to ruin the moment, Pinkie's head literally popped out of the plant next to the awkward column. "Lyra!"

"Wah!" Lyra yelped. "Pinkie, what the heck are you doing here?"

"Oh, hello Pinkie." Bon Bon replied calmly. "How are you today?"

"I'm super-duper!" Pinkie replied, climbing out of the potted plant and walking up. "Except for a weensy problem that I need Lyra's help for."

"Oh no, I am not helping you with cupcakes." Lyra crossed her hooves. "You know I'd just poison half of Ponyville."

"There's a bigger problem than poison." Pinkie grabbed Lyra by her sides and hoisted her into the air. "Come on!"

"I'll see you later, Bon Bon." Lyra gave her roommate a pathetic wave

"Close your eyes!"

"Why would I need to do tha-?" Lyra started, but she was pulled into a spectral, kaleidoscopic tunnel before she could finish.

She nearly lost her lunch once she emerged from the other end, somewhere near the outskirts of Ponyville. A cluster of trees, barely enough to be a forest, stood to her right as she faced the town.

"Goodness sake, Pinkie, how do you cope with that?" Lyra fell on her flank, head spinning like Derpy's right eye.

"I close my eyes, silly." Pinkie grinned, helping Lyra up. "So, wanna have a guess at what's coming?"

"Zombies?"

"Nope."

"Ghosts?" A flashback of Brightstar crossed her mind.

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh... Extra-dimensional pony-like metal constructs with arcane weaponry?"

"Nah."

"I'm out of options."

Pinkie giggled. "It's extra-dimensional pony-like metal constructs with arcane weaponry with four eyes."

"So, basically what I said, but with a minor additional detail."

"Yep."

Lyra sighed, walking forwards. "So, where are these guys?"

Pinkie pointed away from Ponyville. "That way, three miles."

Lyra corrected her path, Pinkie trotting behind her.

Wait.

Pinkie's trotting?

Oh dear.

She turned to look behind her, and saw that tell-tale look in the party pony's eyes, a confident grin stretching across her face.

Most ponies knew of Pinkie's normally bouncy-happy nature. A few were aware of her other side, a depressed, borderline-insane pony that craved friendship.

Lyra was the only pony aware of her third form, a... Shall we say, hotblooded personality.

"Look, Pinkie, I really appreciate you asking me for help, but what can I do anyway?" Lyra stopped and turned to face Pinkie. "I'm just a regular unicorn whose only magic is telekinesis, backing music and sound amplification, and my only ability is a slighty-above-average intelligence and a highly-unusual mindset."

"These things are weak to sonic attacks."

"Yeah, military grade sonic spells. I should probably mention right now that I don't have any offensive magic at all."

Pinkie giggled, in a way un-befitting to her current state of mind. "That's why I brought you a weapon." She pulled a strange device from nowhere and tossed it to Lyra.

"Where in Equestria did you-?"

Pinkie smacked a hoof over her mouth. "Not enough time. They're here." She pointed to the sky, and Lyra's eyes widened immediately.

An enourmous, vaguely horseshoe-shaped thing the size of Canterlot itself moved slowly through the air, surrounded by a cloud of tiny black dots. An ominous, deep tone went right through Lyra's bones.

"WHAT THE HAY IS THAT THING?!" Lyra screamed, her instinct to run and hide with Bon Bon rising. "There's no way I can kill that! No darn way!"

"Don't worry, I have a plan." Pinkie pulled out an enormous light and waved it around. "Yoo-hoo! Hey, you dumb machines! Come and get me!"

Lyra went pale.

Two of the dots flashed with light, and started to grow larger. Within seconds, Lyra could make out the shape of some sort of flying device built for ponies.

As the two things swooped past, Pinkie leapt up and smacked one of the pilots off the thing, using her tail to grab onto the device. Lyra panicked, ducking as bolts of crimson light roared over her head and struck the ground with a deafening blast. The machine turned upwards to strike again, but the pilot smashed into a random tree branch and the vehicle spun around and landed nose-first into the ground next to Lyra.

"W-what the hay was that...?" Lyra finally uncovered her eyes and looked around, jumping back when she saw the vehicle next to her.

"Jetbikers." Pinkie replied, parking hers next to Lyra and leaping off.

Lyra examined the sleek machine stuck in the ground. "Well, if I wasn't full of adrenaline I'd be much more fascinated."

A mechanical whirr resounded from the forest, and a large equine machine (indeed with four eyes) burst through the branches. After a second it turned to face Lyra, it's eyes changing from green to red.

Lyra screamed and, without thinking, pulled the trigger on the strange device Pinkie had given her. A visible shockwave burst out and smashed into the machine, shattering it into many tiny pieces.

"Well done, Lyra!" Pinkie cheered.

"I... I need a drink..." Lyra gasped, her breath heavy.

"I'll get you one after this." Pinkie grabbed the unicorn's head and turned it sharply to the large thing. "Now, what I want you to do is to take the Jetbike and fly right into the mouth of the mothership, destroy the main computer and fly out again. All of these machines will shut off and self-destruct after that."

"W-wait, why can't you do it?!" Lyra said, as she was forcefully deposited onto the Jetbike, which Pinkie had somehow managed to put in the right place without Lyra's knowledge.

"Because." Pinkie replied simply, then kicked the thing to turn it on.

"Because what?"

"Because." Now, to make this thing go, you have to put your hooves in those holes there and-"

Lyra pushed her hooves in the two hoof-shaped holes on the front of the device. Without warning the Jetbike soared off at incredible speeds with a high-pitched whine, Lyra barely managing to steer it and keep the strange sonic gun from slipping out of her magic.

Eventually she straightened it out, aiming directly for the horseshoe. "Well, this isn't so bad-"

Almost all of the black dots flashed with light, and a hail of small red bolts started to rain past her.

"Spoke too soon!" Lyra screamed as she weaved past the deadly bolts of deathly death clumsily. Several of the black shapes roared past her in a blink of an eye, and through a holographic display she could see those jetbikes turning around and gaining on her.

She slammed her hooves forwards, and the jetbike roared even faster. She could see a bright light in the centre of the horseshoe's internal curve, and did her best to aim for it as more jetbikes dodged past her and bolts of red energy bounced off the hull of her bike.

The horseshoe started to turn slightly, trying to use it's bulk to block her. Lyra narrowly missed the underside of the arm turning towards her, an array of red lights illuminating her as she sped past them. After a few agonisingly long seconds of trying not to hit the underside as it moved downwards, she flew into the open circle, the illuminated door clearly in view. "Finally, now I can-"

Suddenly, a storm of red lights from emplaced projectors along the entire inner curve went right past her, and she screamed as she hit the device full-throttle. Behind her she could hear explosions resounding as, because of the poor design of the ship, the turrets slowly blew up each other in the hail of fire.

As the door approached Lyra pressed her nose on a button that looked vaguely like a 'shoot deadly things' button. Instead she gained even more speed, which was just enough to get half of the jetbike through the door as it shut quickly. The jetbike, with only the thrusters that were on the front half of the thing still running, bounced around an apparent hangar before ricocheting into a hallway, smashing into several of the large ponybots before blasting through a door where a large computer lay. The jetbike sputtered and skipped along the ground, knocking Lyra off and into the air. Lyra span wildly for several seconds before smashing into something large and the sound of glass cracking, before gravity started to affect her and she hit the metal deck with a heavy thud.

After a few seconds, Lyra pulled herself up weakly. "Owowowowowow..." She pressed a hoof to her back and felt a warm, wet patch, and her eyes traced up to the giant computer screen and spotted the crack directly above her. "Jeez, that's big."

She heard metallic hoofsteps behind her, and she turned sharply to see one of the ponybots looking down at her. She stood up immediately.

"Eheheheh... Uh, sorry for intruding, my crazy friend wanted me to do some insane thing like shut down your network and-"

A bolt of red energy zoomed right past her, hitting the wall behind her and creating a smoking crater.

"Apology unaccepted, it seems!" Lyra started running as the ponybot kept on firing at her. "Wah! Watch the tail!"

As she leapt behind a random crate in the room, something flashed through her memory. She immediately dived out of cover, but then stumbled over the shattered remains of the sonic gun she must have let go of as she was launched off the jetbike. She righted herself just in time to have another bolt of energy miss her, and she galloped to in front of the computer. "Oi, ya big tin can! Come and get me!"

The robot just stood there.

Lyra waved her hooves. "Yoo-hoo!"

No reaction.

Lyra frowned. "Fine, I'll do it my second way then." She grabbed the weird thing attached to the side of the ponybot that was making the red bolts of energy in her magic and started to yank. She swore she saw genuine shock on the robot's face as she did that. "Gimme!" Eventually she pulled it free, and aimed the pointy bit at the robot.

The robot just stood there.

"Err... Oh look, a trigger." She used her magic on the trigger. Nothing. And still nothing after the next seventeen times. "What the hay?"

"Power connection." The robot replied in an eerily hollow mare's voice.

"What?"

"That thing doesn't have a power connection."

"Oh." Lyra looked at the device. Then she just rolled her eyes and smacked it repeatedly into the robot's head until it broke and the machine fell limp. Then she jammed it into the computer repeatedly until a self-destruct warning rung out. "Haha! Lyra saves the- wait how am I going to...?"

She looked around the room. The junked remains of a robot, robot gun, jetbike and sonic gun was all that remained. What was worse was that she could start feeling herself getting lighter.

"Running time!" She dashed through the halls, beating a barely-alive robot with the robot gun and passed through the hall, feeling her hooves starting to leave the solid floor. She just reached the hangar as gravity gave up on her.

The hangar was a mess. Jetbikes and other nastier-looking things were also weightless, and she had to use her magic to push herself along. Then, gravity started to reverse, and she felt herself drifting and then falling to the roof. Which was good because she didn't have much distance to go, and she quickly stood up in her gravitationally-correct way.

The large, heavy vehicles, though, had much further to go. She galloped forwards, barely dodging a giant war machine crashing and embedding itself behind her, and she grabbed a jetbike and flew it outside just as the other fifteen machines crashed into the other jetbikes and roof of the mothership. Outside, the world was upside down, and the machines were going crazy, zooming around and crashing into the mothership. Lyra weaved through the chaos and out into the open, although dangerously close to the ground.

She tried to pull the machine to a standstill but the jetbike just kept on going. And just as she tried to turn she found herself screaming through the Ponyville streets, narrowly dodging the other ponies. She could see a familiar house coming up close, just as the machine started to give out.

With a scream she let go of the machine and let it fly skywards as she bounced painfully on the ground, skidding on the cobblestone streets, crashing through the door of the house ahead of her and almost tearing down the wall she smashed right into back-first.

After a few tense seconds she fell limp. "I've gotta stop doing that."

She heard hoofsteps running right up to her, and strong earth pony hooves scooping her up. "Lyra?!"

She opened her eyes and they immediately fell onto the blue eyes of Bon Bon.

That explains why her legs were soft and smelled like candy... Lyra smiled. "Sup?"

Bon Bon sighed, exasperated, and dropped Lyra on the floor - back first.

Lyra screamed in pain, writhing around comically. "Ow! Owowowowowowowowow!"

"Good to see you're ok." Bon Bon managed a smile.

"Oooooooooooooowwww!"

"Though I have to clean that blood up now. Ugh, that'll take forever."

"Bon Bon I know we're friends but can you please shut up and help me 'cuz I am need of serious medical attention."

Bon Bon rolled her eyes. "Of course. Though, you'll help me with the blood. And the door."

"Deal."

Author's Note

This chapter, particularly the latter bits, was immensely fun to write. Ending's a bit weird, but then again this is an almost weekly occurrence for these two.

Also, I'm not tagging this story with gore because it's not excessively violent, just a little bit of blood because smashing into glass does that.

1 Prologue

My name is Lyra Melody Heartstrings, a slightly-eccentric unicorn from Ponyville.

I am not Kyzr'Vaka, the reincarnation of the Faun Godess.

I am not the saviour of Equestria. That honor goes to Twilight Sparkle and her company.

I am not a Vampire Lord, Demon Princess, Extraterrestrial, Mecha Pilot (that was a one-off), Godess, Angel, Cyborg, Robot, Pimp Lord, Celestia's sister, Ghost Hunter, or anything extremely powerful, supernatural, unusual (aside from my normal eccentricity) or god-like.

I am, in all shapes and forms, a regular unicorn.

My strongest spell is Telekinesis. The only other spell I know is a sound amplification spell.

My best natural talent is playing the lyre and being a quote 'damn good singer' end-quote.

I cannot fly.

I'm not a good runner.

I have a slight obession with non-ponies.

I like walks in the park.

I'm a musical pony, and I like music of almost all kinds.

My favourite food is dark chocolate.

I don't like spiders at all.

I'm not super smart.

The closest I've been to royalty is being foalsitted by Cadence back at Canterlot.

I am, for Celestia's sake, NOT your leader, a dark creature to be feared, a god-amongst-mortals, or any of that crap.

I am a unicorn.