Who cares? I know I don't.

by meighn

Rating: mature
Tags: Anthro, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Gilda, Romance, Adventure, Sex, Gore, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 5091

Hello people and welcome to my life as a hateful person that holds it all self insert HIE story about my isolated personality and how I'll be affected by a female dominate anthro Equestria with me arriving in the Griffin colonies and my absolute

Yawn~ yeah I'm Markuise if you really care. And I'm gonna give you the gist of what's going on. You ever made a wish on a falling star before? If not don't do it it's not worth the trouble if you mess up your wish. Not like I did I just wish I was in a place were I can be myself and create a little chaos in my own way.

And guess who heard my wish? Go ahead I'll wait...

It was Discord if you hadn't figured it out yet. So any way he granted my wish in exchange for me giving him enough chaos to leave the Equestria he was trapped on.

I'm like sweet I'll do it, but what I didn't know is what Equestria he was on so yeah, yeah I screwed myself over to a point.

Anyway let's get this life story or whatever over with.

Published 2013-05-09 19:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-16 00:57:08 UTC

Meh, should have seen it comin.

Today is the fourteenth of February a day before my birthday, and guess what my sister recently found out. Our mom's fiance was arrested before for abusing his exes."I don't care if its her fiance I'll kill him if he hits her. Are we clear here sis?" I say with as much control that I can muster. "While you think on that I'll be in the woods as usual okay?"

My sister looks at me like she knows I'll do it cause I will before releasing a held breathe. "Yeah I'll see you later then Vonte(nickname taken from middle name.) I'll let mom know and take some shoes with you cause it's supposed to rain." She tells me before she leaves herself.

I nod my head showing I heard her and go to my room and change into something comfortable. After a while I come outside wearing a black hoodie with no sleeves with a pair of camouflage cargo shorts and some brown waterproof high-tops. "Okay that should be everything, now where did I put my knives?" I pat myself down finding them in some of my side pockets. I have four 5in long throwing knives and one 9in serrated bowie. "Time for a walk up that path I found last month." As I begin walking I start to think about random things that like to do when I notice I'm at the opening of the pathway.

After a while on the path I notice the land starting to change from dirt and grass to gravel and stone. "Huh must be a mountain up ahead." I thought to myself not really knowing if I'm right... And it seems I'm right. "Guess my inner me was right." I keep up my walk up the incline till I reach the top and take a seat a looking over the woods around me in silence as I gaze on it. I think to my self for awhile thinking if I was supposed to be here on this planet with these people since I'm so much different from them in more than one way.

While laying back I see a shooting star cross pass my vision. I watch it for a bit before sighing and making a wish. "I wish I was on a world were my opinions and ways weren't thought as strange or different." After saying that I let my eyes shut for a bit and let my normal comforting loneliness take hold of me yet again as I slept.

However this wasn't the same as normal emptiness there was something here besides myself.

"Oh so you finally can feel my presence human? That's great!" Says a voice that I never heard before.

"Who's there?" I asked slightly confused that there is someone in my head.

Just then a man in a brown suit walks into my view."Oh how rude of me I haven't introduced myself have I? Well I am Discord God of chaos and the one that heard your wish." Wait someone actually heard that? "You see I was looking for a way to leave the universe I'm currently in, but I need a being that is as chaotic as myself to do so." He says with a smirk. "And you are just that being my boy."

Huh? "Wait how am I chaotic as you?" I asked genuinely confused but then again who cares. "You know what don't answer that. I'll agree with the whole helping you if get out of this place and something else." I say rubbing my chin.

His smirk starts to develop into a creepy smile at my statement. "Oh goody what is it you want boy hurry before I'm discovered." He says hurriedly.

"Okay dude chill. I want to know if this place has dangerous areas." He nods. "Okay can you make me stronger and able to heal fast?" Please say yes. He nods again before bring a yellow gloved hand up in a snapping position. "Okay let's do this." I say while blinded by a flash of pink light.

Log and I forgot to mention that in my universe the beings are similar to what you know as furries and are mostly female." What did he say? I slurred after losing my hold on reality.

___(Somewhere in the capital of Grifus.)___
Gilda pov:
"Uhh... " *pop* I yawn stretching my back and wings. "May as well find myself some food if Gerald has any left." I grumbled removing myself from my cloud bed. Looking to my left I see an old picture on the wall. "Damnit Dash and her looser pony friends." I begin heading towards my closet and putting on some clothes when *BAANG!!* "the hell?" I say while rushing towards my window and jumping out and lifting myself upwards above my roof to see what that was. "The hell are you surpose to be a monkey?" I ask it but getting no response. I land beside it letting my paws hit the thin layer of snow on the roof. "Hey you hear me." Still no answer so I do the only reasonable thing you do in this situation. +poke+ +poke+ +poke+. I poke it till it get up. And it looked like it worked.

"Ugh I'm up damnit." It says lifting itself up so I can get a better look at it. But now that it's standing up it towers over me and I'm 5.7. "Huh, what are you?" It asks turning towards me. Now that I see its face its skin is a dark brown with small eyes and a small patch a black fur on its head. Looking him up and down I can clearly see he's well muscled and toned in the right spots. Looking at his eyes I see their a dark brown. Taking it all in he's kind of hot in a way. "Hmmmmmm."

Markuise pov:
After seeing what was poking me I gotta say I did not see this coming. It looks like those Griffins from legends but more proportioned like a human and she was wearing a white sleeveless shirt and jeans. Ah... so this is what he was saying. But this is getting weird with us just staring each other down. "Uh hello pretty Griffin lady can you tell me where I'm at." I say as nice as possible fighting off the urge to just not give a damn but I need to know where I am.

She shook her head a bit to clear her thoughts I suppose. "Uh yeah your in Griffus palace on top of my bed chambers." He sent me to a palace? What the hell man. "Uh yeah so what are you and why are you up here?" She asks me.

"That I got teleported here by some guy called Discord." As soon as I say that her eyes narrow on me. "What it's not like I know him or anything he just sent me here." I explain but it's clear she ain't havin that.

"GUARDS!!" She yells hurting my ears. And in just seconds we're surrounded by 5 armored male Griffins . "Capture him!!!"

I crack my neck and stare at them as they took stances and drew their swords. So I take my own stance and tighten my fist. "Lets do this road kill." I mock as they charge me only to have me dodge their slow and clumsy strikes not even tryin. "Hah c'mon that all us got!?" I mock as the keep goin. This is starting to get boring so I go on the attack and start punching them in their joints and muscles disabling their swords and leaving them on the ground groaning. "Man you guys suck." I say turning back to the girl from before who is to shocked to move. "Now explain to me why I should care about this Discord and for what reason?" I say walking over to her until another guard in gold armor stops in front of her.

"Halt there monster you shall not hurt the princess!!" That must be the captain and judging by the voice it's a she.

I stop a look at her huffing into the cold air. "Look here miss but I don't care all I want to know is why I was attacked. Is that so fucking hard to ask?" I yell in frustration.

She seems to be surprised by my answer then turns to Eisler in the princess's feathered ear about something. After that 4 minute talk between them they decide that I should speak with the ruler about it. I shrugged and follow them into a door on the side of the roof...

After a while of quite walking we reach the dinning hall. When the doors open I step inside only to be surrounded by GUARDS again. "So you thought you can come here and attack the ruler you are mistaken." Says a guard before I get climbed in the back of the head. Losing my balance a bit before pulling out my bowie and sever the offending GUARDS arm.

I look at all the Griffins around me with a scowl. "Next one of you to attack me is dying. Got it." They swallowed and moved away from me so I could have a seat at the table. I look in front of me to see a regal looking Griffin scowling at me. I shrug and say.

"They started it."

Author's Note

Second story yeah.

Yeah... I'll get on it... maybe.

After that display of violence the Ruler decided to speak. "Who are you ape to come to my kingdom and attack my daughter in our palace and get away with!?" Wow breathing much.

I look at her with no emotional expression on my face before commenting. "Look here bitch I couldn't care less about you, your daughter, and anyone else. The only reason I'm here in the first place is because I was transported here. And I wasn't even after your daughter's life she just called your weak guards to attack me for no reason." The looks on their faces showed a combination of surprise anger any a hint of fear. However the ruler takes it in a different way showing understanding of sorts. "So now that that's out of the way, I'm gonna go cause I interested in the world and like to explore it and I can't do that stuck here." I say standing up from my seat.

The ruler sees this and waves her daughter to come closer to her and says something that honestly surprises me. "Very well ape we will allow you to leave." As I start to leave she continues. "But you will need to stay in the capital for the next few days and act as a private bodyguard for my daughter seeing as to how you easily disabled her prior one." Her daughter seems to tense at the mention of the guard who's arm I sliced.

I contemplate what she says knowing how royalty works thanks to movies and books if I don't agree she'll have me locked away for attempted assassination. I shrug showing I agree and walk towards her with a hand out. "Alright I'll do it. But get a few facts together first." I say with an edge in my voice. "Cross me and I'll kill all of you understood." She nods. "Now we're will I be staying for my time here?" I asked getting bored from the talking of murder.

Her daughter decides to answer me. "You'll be staying in my room on a cot." By her voice she feels ashamed of what's happened. "Come with me I'll take you there." I follow her as we leave the area towards the hall we came through earlier. We stop a room with ivory doors. "This is it."

As we walk into the room it seems to be in a punk rock type of theme. "Nice room." I say noticing a smirk on her face. "Since I'm gonna be here for awhile I guess you should know my name is Markuise." She nods her head. Showing she heard. "So what's your name your highness?" I really don't care but I need to be nice while I'm here.

"Call me Gilda and none of that your highness stuff alright." She huffed.

"Cool. So what are we doing today?" As I say this I hear a grumbling noise coming from her gut. A tinge of pink appeared on her cheek feathers showing she blushed. "I guess gettin something to eat then?" She nods and heads out the door. We walk for awhile not talking about much until we walk into what looks like an eating area. I look around noticing I'm drawing some attention seeing how I'm not a griffin and I'm walking with Gilda. We take a seat near a pillar away from the other griffons here. Immediately after sitting a male skinny Griffin in a waiter outfit comes to our table.

"Can I take you orders." He asks looking a bit nervous.

Gilda doesn't seem to notice and orders." I'll have a hydra steak well done, and some cider." He nods while takes her order then looks toward me.

"I'll have the hydra too but make it bloody and do you have cranberry juice." I say to him. He nods his head before righting it down and leaving. I look to see Gilda staring at me strangely. "What?"

"Why did you order you steak bloody? That's just gross dude." She shivers a bit. I shrug as usual not really feel like explaining to her why. "Well since your suppose to be my guard tell me something about yourself. Like how you beat those guards so easily."

I look at her and sigh. "Its because back on my world I was jumped in the streets a lot cause I love being in nature and smarter than most people. Because of that I had to learn how protect myself and fight more than one person at a time. And your GUARDS are slower than my people." I say while snapping my jaw causing her to flinch. "Sorry habit of mine."

"Uuuhh okay. So what are you anyway cause you look like a monkey but you clearly aren't one?" I was wondering when she'll ask that. I turn my head to see some of the GUARDS from before scowling at me. I flip them off before responding.

"My species I called humans or homo-sapiens." After saying that her eyes go wide like before she called her guards to attack me. "What is it this time?" I grunt.

She swallows before answering my question. "Um we have story's about humans and they are a species bent on destruction and mayhem to those near even themselves." Huh that's odd now that I think about the legends of Griffins and such while rubbing the stubs on my chin. "What you thinking about?" She asks interested in my mind.

Before I can answer our waiter comes back with our food. "I'll tell you later." I say before we start eating our food. After my first bite I had to comment on it. "This is the best steak I had in a long time." I tell the waiter returning with our drinks he nods knowing I'm being truthful. After he left I continued eating until it was all gone, I then wiped the blood and grease from my mouth before continuing. "I was thinking about some stuff from home about mythical creatures. And one it mentions Griffins being a fierce and proud race that fight to the end." After saying this she nods her head.

"Yeah that's exactly how our race is." She says drinking the rest of her cider.

As we are about to go the guards I flipped off come over to our table looking a bit on edge as if I'm about to kill someone. They stop in front of us for a second before the female guard from before speaks. "You, ape, we need your help help in training our soldiers since its obvious that if they were unable to apprehend you then we're not fit for battle." She says with an unwavering attitude.

I look at her like she was the dumbest person in the universe. "Hell to the no. If you want my help give me something I can't get on my own." I say before looking at Gilda. "You have anything else that needs to be done?" I say only to be forced around by a gold armored talon. "What?"

Looking at her I see a slight blush on her face showing she thought of something. "What are you... Are you serious?" I ask not believing she would go that far. Even if I was thinking about that I don't force people to have sex with me. "No fucking way think of something else." I say daydreams out a little.

Gilda raised an eyebrow at my declaration. "What is she offering?" She asks not knowing the situation.

I turn to her with a weary gaze. But before I could respond the guard cut me off. "I offered him my self if he helped us." Gilda didn't act surprised about that open confession more confused. "I'll do what ever it takes to help the Griffin empire. And that means anything." she sounds proud of that but it still couldn't hide the fact that she was nervous for some reason. That's when I figured it out.

I taped her to get her attention before telling her to move to another table with me. As we were far enough I said it. "Your a virgin aren't you." I state already knowing the answer. She looks over to the guards and Gilda before sighing with a nod. "I can't believe you would offer me that why is that? And don't say it's because it's for the empire cause I could care less."

"Cause your the only one to ever beat me in 8 years since I became the captain when I was 16. And I promised myself to always stay pure until I lose against another being." She says with a stern gaze.

"Okay I'll accept that. But the answer is still no I'm not fuckin you as payment for training." I say staring back into her yellow eyes.

"THEN I CHALLENGE YOU TO A WARRIORS DUEL!!! And loser becomes winners slave for life!!" She yell getting all the other Griffins attention.

"Then bring it." I say not even bothered by her yelling. Then throw a weak blow to her chest plate denting it and seeing how much stronger Discord made me. "Hah this is interesting it seems I'm way stronger than I realized." I say mocking her. Lets see if I can have a bit of fun with this challenge.

You know what happens next.

As she regains her balance from my punch she distances herself from me and pulls out her sword again. "You should know something captain..." She looks at me warily trying to figure out my plan. "I was holding back when I beat you and you soldiers." And the little crowd around us that started to form around us seems to go quiet. "And that hit just them was at most 15% of my current strength, soooo..." I say that before pulling out two of my pocketed throwing knives. "I going to see how long you can last at 25%." She raises her sword up and charges at me with confidence that she'll beat me.

"Haaaahhh!!!" She yells before bringing her sword down towards my head only to have it stoped by one of of my knives in a reversed grip wedding itself in the weaker metal of her sword. "What!?!" She says in surprise at the fact that my knife is sharper and stronger than her blade.

I look at my wedged knife than at her shocked face before pushing my knife the rest of the way threw her sword than kicking her in the side of her armor putting another dent in it and sending her flying out of our makeshift ring into some of our onlookers. "Oops. My bad."I cringe at the pile of Griffins. As they get up I notice she is still down and is pulling at her armor. Her guards catch on and rush towards her only to begin pulling at the dented armor. "What are you.. " I say but don't finish noticing the sound of restrained breaths. "Shit." I walk over to the struggling guards and see that she can't breath. "Sigh" I move them out of my way and grip her chest plate and yank it from her snapping her chainmale free exposing her surprisingly huge breast. "Damn." Is all I can say looking at them before taking my hoody off exposing my scarred upper body chest getting some shocked tones from from the Griffins around us and pulling it over her frame. After doing so I get up letting her breath again.

She looks at me with a frown and puts her head down. "I lost to you again. I'm not fit to lead the empire now." Just as she said this Gilda walks beside me and pulls me away. I look behind us at the captain and her soldiers as they walk out the dining area towards another door.

I turn to Gilda who is still holding my arm. "You can let go now." I say as we continue walking. She lets go after another minute. "What was that whole display about?"

She turns her head and looks at me with a frown. "Because you beat her a second time shaming her again. Plus because of the wadger she is now your slave of all things which means she is no longer consider a citizen meaning she lost her title as guard." She sighs while snacking her head. "And since I was their I have to tell my mother she has to find a new by guard captain." She grunts on that last one.

"Oh well not my fault." She stops and spins to look me in the eyes. "What? She challenged me to a fight she couldn't win even though I didn't want to show your soldiers how to fight better because I didn't feel like it. Meaning it was her own fault for it to begin with." I tell her how I think.

She just stares at me not believing I don't care about this situation seeing as its about me. "You know that because of this incident you now have a slave for life and you can't get out of it."

Okay now I'm showing demolition I haven't showed in a long time... disgust. We start back walking towards another large chamber with what appears to be a throne room. When we enter I see what appears to be a anthro white horse with wings a horn and flowing rainbow hair wearing a white dress with witha gold crown salking to the Griffin ruler.

"I'm sorry for the intrusion Empress Helga but we need to search your lands for the source of the chaotic disturbance caused by Discord's escape from our world." The horse says not knowing the reason is behind her.

Helga notices me and Gilda and waves us forward causing the horse to turn and look at us in surprise when her. Eyes rest on me. "Gilda you remember Princess Celestia correct?" Gilda nods. "And I believe I do not know your name ape." She says looking towards my scarred body with interest. While Celestia stares at what appears to be concern for my wellbeing.

"My name's Markuise and I'm not an ape..." waiting for it, and. "I'm a human." There it is. Surprise and shock was on all of their faces except for Gilda cause she already know.

After a moment of silence Celestia speaks up. "That can't be possible. The last of the humans that were last here vanished when my parents first sealed discord." Then after saying so she furrowed her brows. "How is it after nearly 3000 years that you are here and how?"

"Cause this dude called Discord asked me if I wanted to come here so he could leave this universe." I say poking at some of my scars. "Huh forgot how I got this one." I say to myself.

"If what you are saying is true than you must come with me to Canterlot to see if you are a danger to my ponies and our way of life if so I must send you home." She says looking at my scars than to me.

I look at her not blinking for a bit before answering with a smile. "No thanks." Then my face turns into its normally neutral look. "And I could care less about you or your ponies. I'm just here to be away from my kind. Understand?"

Her shocked face is replaced with a scowl. "I don't believe you have a say in the matter human." As she says that her 8 guards rush in a circle around me and Gilda. "Now will you come with us or will I be forced to take you."

I look at Gilda and tell her to move as I reach in in my pockets and pull out my bowie and one of my throwing knives. "Try to force me and I will end your soldiers." I say in a cold tone.

She ignores what I say and waves her hand and her soldiers come at me me with their spears pointing towards me. I duck down avoiding them and rush a guard on my left and jab my knife in his barely exposed rib cage from his armers connected joints. As he falls I pull my knife out and kick a guard behind me sending him flying threw a stone wall. Another guard comes at me with a drawn sword after dropping his spear, I parry his sword with my knife and stab him in his throat with my bowie and pull it back out. I then I jump back avoiding another spear before undercutting the guard thrusting it into the air then kicking another in the head that ran at me with his sword raised. I decided to end this by putting up my bowie and started throwing my throwing knives into the remaining guards's helmets killing them easily. Once done I look at the now shocked princess and pull out my bowie once more.

"Now if you wish to keep up with this needless violence I recommend leaving him be dear sister." Came a voice from the doorway. I turn to see another pony with wings and a horn coming up to the other. "If he doesn't wish to come then we can't force him even if he is here by Discord's whim humans is male." Now that I see her her coat is a dark blue her hair like the night sky and is moving like her sister's and she is wearing a blue dress admirers with a black metal with a crescent moon design on it. "Human I am sorry for what has transpired here. My sister is just concerned about our subjects and your arrival has been at a time of great... dismay if you will." I nod and put away my bowie and begin retrieving my knives from the corpses.

"Alright I understand but just remember that if you try this again I won't hold back again." I say wiping my knives off with a rag I keep in my side pocket. "Now that that's out of the way..."I say turning to Helga. "We came to tell you your captain challenged me and lost." She nods her head as I continue. "She said that the looser would become the winners slave." Her eyes widen at that remark and so does the princesses.

She raises her claw up to stop me. "I understand the situation, I'll have a new captain chosen by the end of the day." She then smirks. "To tell the truth I have been trying to replace her for the longest due to her immaturity and arrogance and you seem to have solved that for me. But I can't do a anything about the agreement of the looser becoming the slave I'm sorry but you'll have to deal with it."

"Damnit. I understand well be going then." As I walk back to Gilda the princesses come over to us. "What do you want now?"

The dark one seems to be more concerned than the obviously angry one. "I've come over to ask you to consider coming to the castle when your ready and you won't be attacked we promise we just want to know if your here to harm our subjects or not." She says in a calm tone. I look her in the eyes and nod. She smiles as her sister sighs in relief. "We thank you for reconsidering our offer." They turn and speak to Helga for a bit as me and Gilda leave.

As soon as we leave Gilda smacks .won the back of my head. "Ow!! What was that for?!" I yell from the assault. She looks at me and sighs not answering. "Oh yeah whose going to clean up the soldiers I killed?"

She tilts her head up to think. "I think the princesses will take them back with them, or our castle 's servants will do away with them." She turns her head to look at me. "Why you want to know you feel sorry or something?" She says with a smirk.

"Nope... just wondering for future reasons." I say with a smirk of my own showing off my canines. She pales at that and turns away heading back to her room with me far enough behind to protect her just in case. When we reach her room I hear what sounds like humming. "Hold up. Someones inside let me go in first." She nods and moves aside as I pull my bowie out in a reversed grip. I open the door and creep inside scanning the room. When I see my cot I notice its moving so I grab the blanket and pull it off. What I see can only described in the most sophisticated words I can conjure.

"Moma say wha?"

Author's Note

Anyone got idea for any Griffin and dragon oc he'll meet meet in the future.