Roadmaster

Roadmaster

A Fanfiction by Fleetwood Brougham

Chapter One

"Hey folks, this is Delray at Equestria Radio, we got a good tune comin' up for you this morning! A few more hours, and PON-3 will be in, and I'll be outta here! Here it is, "Rock Around The Clock", by Bill Haley to start your morning on the right foot!"

****

It was a cool morning when Derpy was finishing up with her mail run. Her wheezy Jeep DJ was beginning to overheat as usual, and she was glad to give it a rest.

"Oh, yeah," she remembered, "I have to take Dinky to school!"

The Hooves family needed a family car, and BAD! Their 1942 Pontiac Eight had been even more tired than the Jeep, covering the surrounding area with soot from it's exhaust each time it would accellerate, but it had been the only thing she had gotten in the divorce with Fleetwood, so it would do. But, what she didn't count on was her ravenous craving for muffins that drove her to sell the junker, dooming the family's dreams of a roadtrip. She had seen the error of her ways later, and was trying desperately to find a reliable, reasonably priced auto, but had to settle for using her mail Jeep as transportation.

She pulled up at the house where they lived, a crummy bungalow on Ponyville's South Side, and picked up her daugher, Dinky. The two chugged along toward the school in silence until Derpy piped up.

"So, Dinky," she reminded the daughter she loved so much, "Let's have a good day at school, you hear? I don't want you to have a repeat of last week!"

"But, MOM!" the young filly protested, "That colt was mean to me, the reasonable thing to do was to run out of class crying! He made me sad!"

You see, a normal filly wouldn't practice this behavior, but Dinky did on a regular basis. She had a disorder, a disorder that everybody made fun of. Derpy had it too, but had learned to master it. This disorder was known to the ponies as, "Brat Syndrome," but is known in our world as Aspergers.

Derpy arrived at school, the Jeep now begging for rest, and dropped Dinky off.

"You have a good day, honey!" she called as her foal ran into the schoolhouse.

Derpy shifted the dieing mail Jeep into first, and was about to drive off, when Dinky came running back to her.

"Mom," she asked innocently, "How come we can't ever go on a camping trip?"

"Because, honey," Derpy replied, irritation in her voice, "Your daddy took everything in the divorce!"

"Please, mom?"  Dinky pleaded, her golden eyes turning into glass.

"Okay, muffin, I MEAN HONEY!" she sighed, "Maybe we could go on a short trip...."

"HOORAY, CAMPING TRIP!" the filly shouted with glee, and ran into the schoolhouse.

Derpy sighed, definitely not going to be able to take her camping any time in the near future. She drove off, the Jeep definitely not going to make it to the end of the day, toward Carrot Top's house for their daily chat.

Carrot Top lived on Cemetary Hill, across the street from the ancient Brougham Cajun Cemetary, owned by Fleetwood's family. The Cemetary had been built in 1789, and her house in 1910.

She walked to the door, and knocked three times, and waited for Carrot Top to answer. After a few seconds, the doorknob rattled, and the door opened.

"Oh, hi, Derpy!" she said happily, "What's up?"

"I wanted to come over to talk about Dinky and me," Derpy replied, sadness clouding her eyes, "She really wants to go on a camping trip, but I can't take her!"

"Oh, my, well you'd better come in, then!"

The two sat down over two cups of tea and a tray of muffins, which Derpy scarfed down almost immediately after spotting them, and began to talk.

"So, Darcy," Carrot Top continued, calling her friend by her real name rather than her high-school nickname, "What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"It's about Dinky," she replied, her eyes focused on Carrot Top, which was strange for her, "She asked the same question that she always does:"Can we go camping?" I always say the same thing, "Maybe", but I just can't, Carrot, I just can't keep lieing to her! But then again, I can't squash her dreams!"

"Darcy," Carrot Top gasped, as if there was something wrong with her friend, "You really shouldn't put that trip off! This is a very important stage of development in a filly's life, and a road trip/camping trip would be good for her!"

"That's all very nice," Derpy pointed out, "But may I remind you that I don't have money for a CAR, let alone GAS?!"

"It's fine, Darce," the optimistic ginger said cheerfully, "you could RENT a car, you know! I could even help pay for it!"

"Thank you so much, C.T.," the Derpy cried with joy, "You really shouldn't! But, where are we gonna find a rental?"

"Well, I know Fleetwood Brougha-"

"NO, NO, NO!" Derpy screamed in rage, "THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING BACK TO THAT SLIPPERY BASTARD EVER AGAIN!"

"Calm down, Darce!" Carrot Top laughed, "That "slippery bastard" was pronounced a missing pony! His dad and that dragon Twilight Sparkle raised, Dyke I think his name is, are running the lot!"

Fleetwood Brougham's General Motors LeSabre Concept car was found at the bottom of a cliff on Gemstone Ridge a few weeks ago, and detectives were still looking for a body, although there were signs that he escaped, such as the door being ajar.

"Well," joked Derpy," Let's hope that THEY don't try to sleep with me and steal my money!"

The two laughed and talked for the rest of the morning, and into the afternoon, until Derpy looked at the clock.

"Oh, my!" she gasped, "I really should get going, Dinky gets out of school in a few minutes!"

"Alright," Carrot Top said in her usual joyful fashion, "goodbye!"

"Goodbye!"

It was Dinky's bedtime, and Derpy was coming to tuck her in. Derpy hurried down the hallway of the house toward Dinky's room, ignoring the yelling and gunshots coming from outside, for this happened EVERY night on the Ponyville South Side.

She sat down on her daughter's bed, and began to read her a bedtime story, when Dinky asked her the same question she had asked for months: "When are we going to go camping?"

Derpy was tired of letting her daughter down, and remembered what Carrot Top told her.

"Alright, Dinky," she said, caving in to her daughter's demands, "At the end of the week, we'll go to Camp Wanahoova for a few days-"

"YAY!!!" the little unicorn jumped out from under her covers, and began dancing around on top of the bed. "OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MOM! THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME, I'LL BRING SWEETIE BELLE, SCOOTALOO, APPLE BLOOM, TWIST, REN....."

Derpy breathed a sigh of relief, now she could have a few days of relaxation, just her and her daughter. Nothing was going to ruin this trip, what could possibly go wrong?

*Special thanks to Smaug for the "Camp Wanahoova" idea.*