A British family in Equestriaby ukbrony3000ChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 1"Joe, time for school!" "Oh for god sake." Meet Joe, he' 15 years old, he loves video games, music, football, a lot of stuff that he likes. But there is one thing that he doesn't like...school. Why? Well there is a few reasons why Joe hates school: He isn't very good at a lot of subjects like maths, religious studies, P.E etc, and gets bullied because of how stupid he is but he has a few friends so he doesn't get bullied that much so that's a good thing. Anyway Joe finally gets out of bed and out of his bedroom to go for a toilet, but the door is shut. "Who's in there?" "Its your fat brother taking a shit!" "Oh Sam, come on!" "Sam! Don't use that language in front of your little brother!" "Mum! I'm 15 not 4!" "Not to me though, your still my little baby." Joe just ignored his mum and waited for his big brother,Sam, and by big I mean fat. Finally Sam had flushed his dinner (S**t) down the toilet and opens the door. Without washing his hands. "Ugh, Sam you smell worse than dad, didn't you wash your hands?" "Can't be asked." "No wonder why your fat." "I heard that!" "Good!" Meet Sam, he is 21 years old, he is different from his little brother not because of his weight, but because his attitude as well, he is completely lazy at home but when he's at work or going out for the night he is different, oh and if you ask him what is the one thing you cant live without? His answer would be cheese, almost every food he gets he has to put cheese on it. Oh yeah one more thing, he hates Joe because he annoys him about his fat belly. A minute later and Joe has flushed the toilet, washed his hands and walks back to his bedroom getting changed for school, or in Joe's case "Changed for hell." A few minutes has passes and finally Joe has his school uniform on. "Lets see what mum has got me for breakfast this time." Joe walks out of his bedroom and walks down the wooden stairs and opens the middle room door. Joe shouts to his mum. "MUM!" "Yes sweetheart?" "What have I got for breakfast?" "You got Hot Dogs, Ravioli, Beans, you got-" "I'll have Hot Dogs and a cup of tea please." "I got spaghetti, I got some-" "Mum, I said Hot Dogs and tea please." "What about-" "MUM!" "Okay okay." Meet Joanna the mother, she is 43 years old, she loves everyone that she knows, well...not everyone, but what she loves the most is her make up and clothing, every time she needs to out or something like that, she's always goes "Oh hang on! Let me do my make up." or "What shoes shall I wear?" To Joe and Sam, its so bloody annoying because its wasting time to go out somewhere. And the last part...shopping. Why? Lets say there is a shampoo that she needs to buy, to the brothers it takes like 3 seconds to get one, but for Joanna...it takes about 5 years to pick a freaking choice out of the 2 shampoo's that she needs to buy. Doesn't she know that every shampoo on Earth does the same bloody thing but has a different name? Joe then sits down on the sofa waiting for his breakfast. Patently. Then he hears someone coming down the stairs. "Who else is in? I thought it just me, Sam and-" His thought was cut off as he see's someone in pajamas. "Oh, hey dad." "All right, son?" "Yeah, you" "Yeah , im all right. Game of Fifa tonight?" "...Fuck it why not?" "Yeah, sure." "I'm gonna kick your ass, mother fucker! hehe." And lastly, meet Ken, he's the same age as his wife, Joanna, but this guy is a legend. Every time he comes home at night he always have a little something for his sons. Every night he gives Joe the same magazine but its a really good one because in that magazine there is...I don't think you guys or girls want to know because that magazine has...rude stuff in it. Anyway, Ken has 2 jobs which is worth it because in the end, he gets £400 a day. A day! And lastly, he loves football. Every weekend he gets up, makes himself a cup of tea, gets digestives, (Biscuits) turns the TV on and watches Match of the Day. You have no idea how happy he gets when his favorite team (Westham) scores and win a game. But his sons think Westham is shit. "Jo?!" Jo is Joanna but shorter. "Yeah Ken?" "Where's Chas?" "He's outside in the garden." Ken fast walks outside the house and into the garden. "Chassy!?" Chas's ears gone up when he hears that voice. He gets so happy when he hears or see's Ken. Chas look's around the garden until he saw Ken, he then runs quickly towards him less than 10 seconds flat. (See what I did there?) Oh I forgot about the dog, sorry people. Meet Chas, he's 7 years old and he's a staff dog, he loves playing in the garden with Ken, but the dog is sort of like Sam, lazy...and by lazy I mean knackered. (Tired) he sleeps nearly all day, all night, but when Ken comes in, BANG! He's awake and hyper. And when you have any food in your hand Chas will follow you everywhere until you give him a piece of that food which of that food is all yours, not the dog. "HELLO MY LITTLE SAUSAGE!" "Oh that dog." Jo wishes that dog was like this all day when she's around. She opens the cupboard (Cant spell that word, sorry about that.) to find a tin of Hot dogs and a Spider Pig cup. She then picks up the kettle and turns the tap on pouring water in it, She then turns off the tap, putting the kettle back and turns on the switch making the water go hot. After that she opens the jar full of tea bags, gets one tea bag out and put it in the Spider Pig cup. Then she opens the draw to get a spoon, she gets out the spoon and closes the draw, then opens a different jar which has loads of sugar in it. She gets 2 teaspoons of sugar and puts the sugar in the cup. Jo turns to the fridge and opens it to find milk, she gets the milk and opens it, then she pours a little of milk into the Spider Pig cup. She closes it and puts it back in the fridge. Now that only Jo has got to do is get that Hot Dog tin open, she opens the same draw and gets the tin opener, she then closes the draw and opens a tin of Hot dogs, she puts down the tin opener and a tin of Hot Dogs on the table to get a plate. She puts 4 hot dogs on the table and puts them in a microwave, she puts the microwave on for 2 minutes and waited. 2 minutes has passes and finally the water is now heated up and the hot dogs were finished. "Joe! Breakfast is ready!" Joe gets out of the sofa and walks into the kitchen, he finds his breakfast sitting on the table. He opens the draw to get a fork and then closes the draw. Joe was about to eat until Joanna interrupts him. "You gonna say thank you to your mummy?" "No." "Aw, why not?" "Because im eating breakfast, now leave me alone." Jo felt a bit upset what Joe said to her but that will go away shortly. Joe puts on the TV to see what the weather will be like today on Daybreak. It says that that weather in London will be warm in the morning but at 12 o'clock the rain is going to start and it will stop at 9 o'clock tonight. "Oh no Joe, its gonna rain in the afternoon." Jo said Joe turns around and just looked at her. "Well done mum." "Yeah, im really smart, aren't I?" ... Joe just turns back around finishing off his breakfast. "Why am I alive?" Ken and Chas came back from the garden and into the kitchen. "Ooh, was that fun Chassy?" Chas just barked at him. "Oh you, come on lets go upstairs." "Dad aren't you gonna get ready for work?" "I'm off son." "You lucky willy." Ken just laughed at him and ran quickly up the stairs and into his bedroom to play with Chas for a bit. "Aren't you gonna clean your teeth and spike your hair up?" "I'm gonna do it now, I don't a reminder." Joe quickly runs up the stairs and into the bathroom to clean his teeth and spike up his hair. Meanwhile in Sam's bedroom, Sam is getting ready for work with his favorite music on. Youtube Video While that's going on, Joe is done with his teeth and his hair. Joe then gets out of the bathroom and back to bedroom to get his school bag and then off to school! (yay!) "All right everyone, im going now!" "See ya mate" "Bye dad." "See ya later baby!" "Bye mum!" "Bye Joe!" "Bye Sam!" While everyone said goodbye, Joe goes down the stairs and opens the front door and goes to school. "All right Satan, lets do this." While Joe goes to school he gets his headphones and his phone out and puts a music on that Sam hates so much because its about fat. Youtube Video Now that Joe is out of the hou- "OI JOE COME HERE FOR A SEC!" "For the love of Jesus, what now!" "Just come here!" Joe just groaned and came back in the house to see what his mum wants now. "What is it?" "Do you know who's this is?" Jo has a phone in her hands that Joe has never seen before. "Sorry mum, I have never seen that phone." Jo a bit worried about this phone but before she can ask another question the phone just turned on. "Oh god what happened?" "Mum what did you press?" "I didn't press anything!" Jo got very worried and a bit creepy out when the phone lit up. Joe decided to ask his dad if he knows about this. "Dad!" "Yeah?" "Do you know about this phone?" Ken got out of bed and looked at a phone that Jo has got in her hand. "I've never seen that phone anywhe-" The phone lit up again and this time it made an electric shock and broke the glass window. "AHH!" Jo screamed from what the phone just did and Joe and Ken duck down. Without any screaming what so ever. "Jesus mum, you made me jump!" "Well I never saw a phone did that!" Jo shouted. "What's going on in here?" Sam wants to know what happened from Jo's screaming. "Don't ask me how Sam, but that phone just had an electric shock and broken my bloody window!" "...What?" "Oh for f-" The phone made an another shock and this time it hit all four people including the dog, who was sleeping, I don't know how that dog is still tired though, probably lazy I suppose. The house is now empty and I have no idea where they all are, but lets hope that they're okay,right? Right? Chapter 2It's a snowy day in Ponyville, all the ponies are getting ready for The Winter Wrap up. Rainbow Dash is getting her team together, getting ready to clear sky. Rarity is sorting out the decorations for Ponyville. Apple Jack is getting her crew to clear the paths around Ponyville. Fluttershy is getting the animals to help their homes and taking care of them. Twilight Sparkle is checking to see how everypony is doing, and lastly Pinkie Pie is...where is she? "Where is Pinkie Pie?" Twilight was getting a bit worried about Pinkie. "Maybe she's still at home getting ready for-oh there she is!" She saw Pinkie going up to her very...odd? "Pinkie what's going on?" Pinkie is out of breath, she was going crazy about what she felt a few minutes ago. "Twilight...I...felt...something...weird!" Twilight is getting a bit more worried now. "Pinkie, what is it?!" Pinkie was about to say something, but she just quickly ran back the way she came from. "Ugh, Pinkie." Twilight just ignored her and came back to check and see if everypony is ready. Meanwhile, next to the Everfree forest. Everyone including the dog was laying in the dirt road passed out. Joe is laying on Sam's big, fat, hairy belly that just sounds very...eugh. Ken is sleeping next the dog, Chas. And Joanna is laying right next to a tree with squirrels. Aww. Anyway a few minutes later and finally one of them is waking up, let's see who it is. Oh look! Its Sam. "Oh bloody hell, did I pass out again?" Sam is slowly moving his little brother on to the grass...which failed poorly. "Ow! What the flip just happened?!" "Oh, sorry Joe." Joe quickly got up to see what just happened to him. What he see's is...no words to describe what he see's in his eyes. "Um, Sam?" "Yeah?" "Is it me or do I see a fat horse standing in front me that sounds just like you?" Joe is freaked out at what he see's, a fat pony with a short brown spiky hair, brown mane and a binge coat that has the same personality as his fat brother. "What are you talking abou-" he stopped himself by looking at a small pony with wings, same hair style but light brown, same colour for the mane and a grayish coat. "...have I been drinking?" Sam asked himself. "Sam, did that phone somehow did this?" Joe pointed at Sam with his han-I mean hoof. "What phone?" Joe just face hoof and sighed at his stupid brother. "Don't you remember?" "...no." "Oh my go-" Joe looks around until he finds 2 more ponies and a dog sleeping. "Sam, come here." Sam walks over to Joe to see what he wants. "What?" "Is that mum, dad and Chas by any chance?" "Don't know, I hope so. What should we do?" Joe thinks for a minute. "I guess we have to wait for them to wake up." Joe suggested. Sam doesn't like waiting, he's so impatient of waiting for something or waiting for someone. "Really? God I hate waiting!" "Well its either that or-" Joe was cut off by a pink pony that somehow warped front of him and interrupts him. "HI IM PINKIE PIE AND I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU AROUND HERE! DO YOU WANNA BE BEST FRIENDS? BECAUSE I CAN MAKE YOU A WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY! IT'LL BE SO FUN! I HAVE ALL THE PONIES THAT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET IN PONYVILLE! DO YOU LIKE CUPCAKES? BECAUSE I LOVE CUPCAKES! I MAKE THE BEST CUPCAKES OF ALL OF EQUESTRIA!" Sam is quite annoyed about that pink horse talking to Joe, so Sam decided to end the chit chat once and for all. "All right, you!" He points at the pink pony. Pinkie Pie does a 180 and see's an another pony that she has never seen. "OH MY GOSH AN ANOTHER PONY THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! HI IM PINKIE PIE AND I-" "Right you, if you ever do that again to my brother i'll-" "I DO THAT TO ALL THE PONIES THAT I NEVER SEEN BEFORE!" "Let me fini-" "DO YOU LIKE CUPCAKES? I LOVE CUPCA-" Sam is getting very angry now so he decided to do it the hard way. "WILL YOU SHUT UP AND FUCK OFF, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Pinkie was shocked...very shocked, she had a bit of tears in her eyes. She never thought that she'll meet a pony this mean and horrible. "Why *sniff* why would you say stuff like that? I was just talki-" She was cut off by Sam shouting at her again. "SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK! Because if you ever do that to my brother or anyone I know, I'LL SMASH YOUR FUCKING HEAD IN!" Sam shouted as loud as he could, he doesn't care if anyone else hears him shouting, all he wants to shout that pink pony that he thinks is hurting Joe. Pinkie burst out crying and ran quickly back to Ponyville crying her eyes out. "Yeah that's right, run away you pink little shit!" Sam turned back to Joe to see if he's all right. "You okay, Joe?" Joe was a bit shocked at what happened just now. "...yeah im fine, thanks." Joe was shaking a bit and turned back to the two ponies and the dog to see if they are awake or not. "They're still sleeping. *sigh* guess we have to-" he was cut off by someone yawing very loudly. "Hey Sam! I think dad's awake, or I hope that's dad." Ken is still yawing and then slowly he opened his eyes to see two ponies looking at him. Ken is a bit shocked at what he see's because every time he wakes up, he expects to be awake in his bedroom. Joe and Sam are still staring at dad, or they hope its dad.There was a bit of silence when the 3 are staring at each other, finally Joe is the first one to speak. "Dad?" Ken is shocked at what he heard. Not only did that pony talk, its that his voice sounds exactly like Joe's. "Joe?" Ken is now really shocked at what is happening, he was about to hug Joe, but he has to check completely if it is really Joe, but as a pony. "Joe is that really you?" "Yes dad, its me and Sam!" Joe pointed at Sam who is standing right next to him "You okay?" Ken quickly gets up to look at himself to see if he's the same form as Joe and Sam. Ken looks at himself and see's that he has a small black tail, a brown coat and no hair. Ken looks up and finds out that he thinks that he has s a horn on his head. Ken looks at the red pony which is also staring at him. "Sam?" Ken asked, hoping that the binge pony is Sam. "Dad!" Sam is so glad that its dad. Joe and Sam ran up to Ken and hugged him. "I thought that I had lost you guys!" Ken said. "I thought I did too!" both Sam and Joe shouted. Before they could say any more they got interrupted by the dog barking. Ken quickly looked at his left to see a dog that he recognize. "Chassy!" Chas ran up to Ken and started licking his face. "Oh I missed you too, my little baby!" "What's going on over there?" Ken, Joe, Sam and Chas quickly let go of each other and looked at the purple pony with a purple and a bit of pink mane and tail. "Are you all okay?" The purple pony asked. All three got a bit freaked out but Ken was the first one to speak. "Yeah, were fine. Do you know where we are exactly?" Ken wanted to know where he is because what he see's around him is too damn bright and colourful. "Oh your near the Everfree forset, what are you doing near here?" The purple pony wanted to know why they were all near the forest. None of them know why but Joe was the first one to answer the question. "All of us, well...kinda got lost in that forest and somehow ended up, well...here." Joe lied. "Oh, you must be new here aren't you?" "Probably, yeah all of us including her." Joe pointed at a pony who was still sleep and Joe hopes that its his mum. The purple looked at the pony who has a long dark brown mane and tail, a horn and a bright white coat. The purple pony turned back to Joe to ask him another question. "You all family?" The purple pony asked. Joe nodded his head. "Oh, do you guys know where you going?" Joe doesn't know how to answer that, but Ken answers it for him. "Nope, we have no bloody clue where all of us are going!" Ken shouted "Oh no, um." The purple pony wanted to help them all out to find their homes but she doesn't know what to do. She thinks for a minute and she only has the one thing she could ask them. "If you all come with me, I can take you to Ponyville and i'll let you stay at my place, if that's all right with you guys?" Sam has gone a bit off by the word Ponyville. "Wait wait wait, did you just say Ponyville?!" Sam asked. "Yeah, Ponyville is right behind me." The purple pony answered. Ken and Joe were thinking about this, its either go to Ponyville to get some help, or its go in that forest and see where its headed, but for each other's safety Ken and Joe decided. "Alright all of us are going to Ponyville!" Ken and Joe shouted. The purple pony smiled "Alright, follow me, oh my name is Twilight Sparkle by the way." "Nice to meet you Twilight, im Ken and these are my sons, Joe and Sam." "Alright?" Joe said. "And this is Chas!" Chas just looked at Twilight and then look back to Ken. "Aw he's cute." Twilight smiled to the dog. "Twilight Sparke? Oh my god, what kind of name is that? I bet she's a vampire as well!" Sam thought of that while he picked up the bright white pony and puts her on his back. Anyway, the family and Twilight are walking to Ponyville to help out the family. Will the family be back home at London? Will the family be happy here inEquesrtia? And will Sam ever lose some weight? Find out in chapter 3! Chapter 3The family and Twilight are still walking towards Ponyville. Twilight and Ken are having a conversation about their lives, Joe is playing with Chas and Sam has got Joanna on his back. "Fucking ponies, I swear if i see that pink one again i'll-" Sam was interrupted by Twilight. "Okay everypony, were here!" Twilight happily said to the family. "Everypony? Oh for the love of-" Sam was cut off by Twilight again. (lol) "What do you think of this place, Ken?" Ken was looking around Ponyville and was thinking for a minute. "It looks nice so far." Ken said "Joe what do you think?" Joe doesn't know how to respond that so instead, of saying bad stuff to Ponyville, he says one word that everyone hates. "Its alright." "Alright?" Twilight doesn't like that answer what Joe said. "What's wrong with alright? Do you want me to say this place is rubbish instead?" Joe suggested. Twilight decided to ask Sam instead of continuing the conversation with Joe. "Sam what do you think?" Sam looks around his surroundings. "Oh god kill me now!" Sam said in his stupid brain. He decided to change his attitude from being pissed off, to be nice for once in his freaking life. "It looks nice so far and its...bright." Twilight smiles at what Sam said about Ponyville, she looks around to see what to do next. A few seconds later an idea popped into her head. "I got an idea, how about I take you all to meet-" She was cut off by somepony flying into her and both ponies were on the ground. The cyan pony looked at Twilight and gave her a sheepish laugh. "Hehe, sorry Twilight I didn't see you there." Twilight got up and saw her friend hovering in the air. "Ugh Rainbow, watch where you flying, I got new ponies here and i'm giving them a tour to Ponyville!" Rainbow gasped. "Really? Its been a while when we have new ponies coming over here. Where are they?" Rainbow looks at her left and see's 4 new ponies that she has never seen before and a dog. Rainbow hovers down between Ken and Joe. "Hi! I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria!" Joe looks at her for a minute, for some reason he reminds her of Nyan cat. "Hey, i'm Joe and i'm the best...don't know!" Joe and Rainbow chuckles. "Hehe, your a funny guy Joe, I like you already." Rainbow smiles at Joe and he smiles back "Hehe oh this ain't gonna go so well." Joe said in his head. Rainbow turns around and see's Ken. Rainbow walks to Ken and extends her hoof for a hoof shake. "Hey, Rainbow Dash is the name!" Rainbow said. Ken shakes her hoof. "Hello, my name is Ken Hersey." Ken said in a politely way. Rainbow then looks at Sam with his mum still on his back. "Who's that on your back?" Rainbow asked. Sam looked at his back to see his mum still sleeping. "Ugh mum fucking wake up!" Sam said in his head. He looks back at Rainbow and answers her question. "Oh that's my mum, she drank a lot last night." Sam lied. "I'm Sam by the way." Rainbow offers him a hoof shake. "I'm Rainbow Dash!" She waits for a hoof shake from Sam. "...well?" "Can't you see I got my mum on my fucking back!" Sam thinks that he's talking to a stupid woman...or pony. Rainbow got a bit angry by Sam's language. "Whoa dude why use that language?" "Because I can you bitch!" Rainbow now is pissed off at Sam. "You wanna go because I will take you down in one hit!" Rainbow said doing a fighting position. Sam wants to punch that pony so hard right now, it reminds him of that pink one he just shouted at back near the Everfree forest. "You know who you remind me of? That bloody pink one I just shouted at!" Rainbow gasped at what Sam said. The pink one. "Wait. Pinkie Pie? Is that why she was crying?" Joe came up to Rainbow Dash. "You know that pink one?" Joe questioned. Rainbow looked at him. "Of course I know her, she's one of my best friends! Has Sam done this to her!" Joe thinks for a second. "Should he tell the truth, or lie? Nah I wanna see Sam get owned by a pony." "Yeah, Sam made her cry." Joe answered. Rainbow gasped and turns back to Sam. "Alright you fat stallion, your gonna pay for what you did to Pinkie!" Rainbow said to Sam. Now Sam is really pissed of. He puts his mum on the floor and shouts at Joe. "JOE, WHY DID YOU TELL HER?!" "Hey! I'm an honest guy!" Joe shouted back. Sam was about to shout at him until he got a kick to face and flew back. Sam got up and decided to charge at Rainbow. "I'm gonna kick your ass, bitch!" While that's going on Joe walks back to his dad and Twilight. "What are you all doing?" Ken looks at his son and then back to Twilight. "Just watching the scene." "Yeah." Twilight breaks in. "Just watching." Joe looks at Twilight and notice that she has a horn on her forehead. "Is that a horn?" Twilight looks at Joe. "Yes it is, why?" "Can you do magic?" "Yes." Joe has got an idea. "Can you stop this fight between Rainbow and Sam.?" Twilight face hoofs. "Oh my Celestia why didn't I do that earlier?" "Celestia?" Ken and Joe said to Twilight. Twilight ignores them and uses her magic to stop the fight between Rainbow Dash and Sam. She takes both of them and takes them towards Twilight. "Right, you two apologize!" Twilight said to both of them. "The fuck did I do? I didn't do anythi-" "NOW!" Twilight shouted. "Ugh fine, i'm sorry." "Right, Rainbow now you apologize" Rainbow looks at Sam. "I'm sorry." Twilight uses her magic to put them both on the ground. "Right now that the fight is over, how about I take you to Pinkie Pie so you can apologize to her?" Twilight said to Sam. Sam got pissed of that he feels like he's in a cartoon program that's for 5 year old girls. "For fuck sake, why?" "Alright, lets get this fucking over with." Twilight smiles and walks over to Sugarcube corner. "Come on everypony its not far!" Twilight shouted. All of them were following Twilight. Rainbow was flying over Sam and she thought that was going to annoy Sam somehow, so she decided to hover over to Joe and have a little conversation. "Man, Sam is such an idiot, he thinks he can take on the toughest pony around!" Rainbow said to Joe. "He thinks he can take on anything." "I feel sorry for you to have a brother like this." Joe chuckles. "Haha, oh well don't worry about him, that guy is a bum hole." Rainbow and Joe laughs at the word bum hole. Anyway everyon- I mean everypony is walking down to Surgercube corner to see Pinkie Pie. But will Pinkie Pie accept the apology? Find out soon.
Chapter 1"Joe, time for school!" "Oh for god sake." Meet Joe, he' 15 years old, he loves video games, music, football, a lot of stuff that he likes. But there is one thing that he doesn't like...school. Why? Well there is a few reasons why Joe hates school: He isn't very good at a lot of subjects like maths, religious studies, P.E etc, and gets bullied because of how stupid he is but he has a few friends so he doesn't get bullied that much so that's a good thing. Anyway Joe finally gets out of bed and out of his bedroom to go for a toilet, but the door is shut. "Who's in there?" "Its your fat brother taking a shit!" "Oh Sam, come on!" "Sam! Don't use that language in front of your little brother!" "Mum! I'm 15 not 4!" "Not to me though, your still my little baby." Joe just ignored his mum and waited for his big brother,Sam, and by big I mean fat. Finally Sam had flushed his dinner (S**t) down the toilet and opens the door. Without washing his hands. "Ugh, Sam you smell worse than dad, didn't you wash your hands?" "Can't be asked." "No wonder why your fat." "I heard that!" "Good!" Meet Sam, he is 21 years old, he is different from his little brother not because of his weight, but because his attitude as well, he is completely lazy at home but when he's at work or going out for the night he is different, oh and if you ask him what is the one thing you cant live without? His answer would be cheese, almost every food he gets he has to put cheese on it. Oh yeah one more thing, he hates Joe because he annoys him about his fat belly. A minute later and Joe has flushed the toilet, washed his hands and walks back to his bedroom getting changed for school, or in Joe's case "Changed for hell." A few minutes has passes and finally Joe has his school uniform on. "Lets see what mum has got me for breakfast this time." Joe walks out of his bedroom and walks down the wooden stairs and opens the middle room door. Joe shouts to his mum. "MUM!" "Yes sweetheart?" "What have I got for breakfast?" "You got Hot Dogs, Ravioli, Beans, you got-" "I'll have Hot Dogs and a cup of tea please." "I got spaghetti, I got some-" "Mum, I said Hot Dogs and tea please." "What about-" "MUM!" "Okay okay." Meet Joanna the mother, she is 43 years old, she loves everyone that she knows, well...not everyone, but what she loves the most is her make up and clothing, every time she needs to out or something like that, she's always goes "Oh hang on! Let me do my make up." or "What shoes shall I wear?" To Joe and Sam, its so bloody annoying because its wasting time to go out somewhere. And the last part...shopping. Why? Lets say there is a shampoo that she needs to buy, to the brothers it takes like 3 seconds to get one, but for Joanna...it takes about 5 years to pick a freaking choice out of the 2 shampoo's that she needs to buy. Doesn't she know that every shampoo on Earth does the same bloody thing but has a different name? Joe then sits down on the sofa waiting for his breakfast. Patently. Then he hears someone coming down the stairs. "Who else is in? I thought it just me, Sam and-" His thought was cut off as he see's someone in pajamas. "Oh, hey dad." "All right, son?" "Yeah, you" "Yeah , im all right. Game of Fifa tonight?" "...Fuck it why not?" "Yeah, sure." "I'm gonna kick your ass, mother fucker! hehe." And lastly, meet Ken, he's the same age as his wife, Joanna, but this guy is a legend. Every time he comes home at night he always have a little something for his sons. Every night he gives Joe the same magazine but its a really good one because in that magazine there is...I don't think you guys or girls want to know because that magazine has...rude stuff in it. Anyway, Ken has 2 jobs which is worth it because in the end, he gets £400 a day. A day! And lastly, he loves football. Every weekend he gets up, makes himself a cup of tea, gets digestives, (Biscuits) turns the TV on and watches Match of the Day. You have no idea how happy he gets when his favorite team (Westham) scores and win a game. But his sons think Westham is shit. "Jo?!" Jo is Joanna but shorter. "Yeah Ken?" "Where's Chas?" "He's outside in the garden." Ken fast walks outside the house and into the garden. "Chassy!?" Chas's ears gone up when he hears that voice. He gets so happy when he hears or see's Ken. Chas look's around the garden until he saw Ken, he then runs quickly towards him less than 10 seconds flat. (See what I did there?) Oh I forgot about the dog, sorry people. Meet Chas, he's 7 years old and he's a staff dog, he loves playing in the garden with Ken, but the dog is sort of like Sam, lazy...and by lazy I mean knackered. (Tired) he sleeps nearly all day, all night, but when Ken comes in, BANG! He's awake and hyper. And when you have any food in your hand Chas will follow you everywhere until you give him a piece of that food which of that food is all yours, not the dog. "HELLO MY LITTLE SAUSAGE!" "Oh that dog." Jo wishes that dog was like this all day when she's around. She opens the cupboard (Cant spell that word, sorry about that.) to find a tin of Hot dogs and a Spider Pig cup. She then picks up the kettle and turns the tap on pouring water in it, She then turns off the tap, putting the kettle back and turns on the switch making the water go hot. After that she opens the jar full of tea bags, gets one tea bag out and put it in the Spider Pig cup. Then she opens the draw to get a spoon, she gets out the spoon and closes the draw, then opens a different jar which has loads of sugar in it. She gets 2 teaspoons of sugar and puts the sugar in the cup. Jo turns to the fridge and opens it to find milk, she gets the milk and opens it, then she pours a little of milk into the Spider Pig cup. She closes it and puts it back in the fridge. Now that only Jo has got to do is get that Hot Dog tin open, she opens the same draw and gets the tin opener, she then closes the draw and opens a tin of Hot dogs, she puts down the tin opener and a tin of Hot Dogs on the table to get a plate. She puts 4 hot dogs on the table and puts them in a microwave, she puts the microwave on for 2 minutes and waited. 2 minutes has passes and finally the water is now heated up and the hot dogs were finished. "Joe! Breakfast is ready!" Joe gets out of the sofa and walks into the kitchen, he finds his breakfast sitting on the table. He opens the draw to get a fork and then closes the draw. Joe was about to eat until Joanna interrupts him. "You gonna say thank you to your mummy?" "No." "Aw, why not?" "Because im eating breakfast, now leave me alone." Jo felt a bit upset what Joe said to her but that will go away shortly. Joe puts on the TV to see what the weather will be like today on Daybreak. It says that that weather in London will be warm in the morning but at 12 o'clock the rain is going to start and it will stop at 9 o'clock tonight. "Oh no Joe, its gonna rain in the afternoon." Jo said Joe turns around and just looked at her. "Well done mum." "Yeah, im really smart, aren't I?" ... Joe just turns back around finishing off his breakfast. "Why am I alive?" Ken and Chas came back from the garden and into the kitchen. "Ooh, was that fun Chassy?" Chas just barked at him. "Oh you, come on lets go upstairs." "Dad aren't you gonna get ready for work?" "I'm off son." "You lucky willy." Ken just laughed at him and ran quickly up the stairs and into his bedroom to play with Chas for a bit. "Aren't you gonna clean your teeth and spike your hair up?" "I'm gonna do it now, I don't a reminder." Joe quickly runs up the stairs and into the bathroom to clean his teeth and spike up his hair. Meanwhile in Sam's bedroom, Sam is getting ready for work with his favorite music on. Youtube Video While that's going on, Joe is done with his teeth and his hair. Joe then gets out of the bathroom and back to bedroom to get his school bag and then off to school! (yay!) "All right everyone, im going now!" "See ya mate" "Bye dad." "See ya later baby!" "Bye mum!" "Bye Joe!" "Bye Sam!" While everyone said goodbye, Joe goes down the stairs and opens the front door and goes to school. "All right Satan, lets do this." While Joe goes to school he gets his headphones and his phone out and puts a music on that Sam hates so much because its about fat. Youtube Video Now that Joe is out of the hou- "OI JOE COME HERE FOR A SEC!" "For the love of Jesus, what now!" "Just come here!" Joe just groaned and came back in the house to see what his mum wants now. "What is it?" "Do you know who's this is?" Jo has a phone in her hands that Joe has never seen before. "Sorry mum, I have never seen that phone." Jo a bit worried about this phone but before she can ask another question the phone just turned on. "Oh god what happened?" "Mum what did you press?" "I didn't press anything!" Jo got very worried and a bit creepy out when the phone lit up. Joe decided to ask his dad if he knows about this. "Dad!" "Yeah?" "Do you know about this phone?" Ken got out of bed and looked at a phone that Jo has got in her hand. "I've never seen that phone anywhe-" The phone lit up again and this time it made an electric shock and broke the glass window. "AHH!" Jo screamed from what the phone just did and Joe and Ken duck down. Without any screaming what so ever. "Jesus mum, you made me jump!" "Well I never saw a phone did that!" Jo shouted. "What's going on in here?" Sam wants to know what happened from Jo's screaming. "Don't ask me how Sam, but that phone just had an electric shock and broken my bloody window!" "...What?" "Oh for f-" The phone made an another shock and this time it hit all four people including the dog, who was sleeping, I don't know how that dog is still tired though, probably lazy I suppose. The house is now empty and I have no idea where they all are, but lets hope that they're okay,right? Right?
Chapter 2It's a snowy day in Ponyville, all the ponies are getting ready for The Winter Wrap up. Rainbow Dash is getting her team together, getting ready to clear sky. Rarity is sorting out the decorations for Ponyville. Apple Jack is getting her crew to clear the paths around Ponyville. Fluttershy is getting the animals to help their homes and taking care of them. Twilight Sparkle is checking to see how everypony is doing, and lastly Pinkie Pie is...where is she? "Where is Pinkie Pie?" Twilight was getting a bit worried about Pinkie. "Maybe she's still at home getting ready for-oh there she is!" She saw Pinkie going up to her very...odd? "Pinkie what's going on?" Pinkie is out of breath, she was going crazy about what she felt a few minutes ago. "Twilight...I...felt...something...weird!" Twilight is getting a bit more worried now. "Pinkie, what is it?!" Pinkie was about to say something, but she just quickly ran back the way she came from. "Ugh, Pinkie." Twilight just ignored her and came back to check and see if everypony is ready. Meanwhile, next to the Everfree forest. Everyone including the dog was laying in the dirt road passed out. Joe is laying on Sam's big, fat, hairy belly that just sounds very...eugh. Ken is sleeping next the dog, Chas. And Joanna is laying right next to a tree with squirrels. Aww. Anyway a few minutes later and finally one of them is waking up, let's see who it is. Oh look! Its Sam. "Oh bloody hell, did I pass out again?" Sam is slowly moving his little brother on to the grass...which failed poorly. "Ow! What the flip just happened?!" "Oh, sorry Joe." Joe quickly got up to see what just happened to him. What he see's is...no words to describe what he see's in his eyes. "Um, Sam?" "Yeah?" "Is it me or do I see a fat horse standing in front me that sounds just like you?" Joe is freaked out at what he see's, a fat pony with a short brown spiky hair, brown mane and a binge coat that has the same personality as his fat brother. "What are you talking abou-" he stopped himself by looking at a small pony with wings, same hair style but light brown, same colour for the mane and a grayish coat. "...have I been drinking?" Sam asked himself. "Sam, did that phone somehow did this?" Joe pointed at Sam with his han-I mean hoof. "What phone?" Joe just face hoof and sighed at his stupid brother. "Don't you remember?" "...no." "Oh my go-" Joe looks around until he finds 2 more ponies and a dog sleeping. "Sam, come here." Sam walks over to Joe to see what he wants. "What?" "Is that mum, dad and Chas by any chance?" "Don't know, I hope so. What should we do?" Joe thinks for a minute. "I guess we have to wait for them to wake up." Joe suggested. Sam doesn't like waiting, he's so impatient of waiting for something or waiting for someone. "Really? God I hate waiting!" "Well its either that or-" Joe was cut off by a pink pony that somehow warped front of him and interrupts him. "HI IM PINKIE PIE AND I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU AROUND HERE! DO YOU WANNA BE BEST FRIENDS? BECAUSE I CAN MAKE YOU A WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY! IT'LL BE SO FUN! I HAVE ALL THE PONIES THAT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET IN PONYVILLE! DO YOU LIKE CUPCAKES? BECAUSE I LOVE CUPCAKES! I MAKE THE BEST CUPCAKES OF ALL OF EQUESTRIA!" Sam is quite annoyed about that pink horse talking to Joe, so Sam decided to end the chit chat once and for all. "All right, you!" He points at the pink pony. Pinkie Pie does a 180 and see's an another pony that she has never seen. "OH MY GOSH AN ANOTHER PONY THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! HI IM PINKIE PIE AND I-" "Right you, if you ever do that again to my brother i'll-" "I DO THAT TO ALL THE PONIES THAT I NEVER SEEN BEFORE!" "Let me fini-" "DO YOU LIKE CUPCAKES? I LOVE CUPCA-" Sam is getting very angry now so he decided to do it the hard way. "WILL YOU SHUT UP AND FUCK OFF, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Pinkie was shocked...very shocked, she had a bit of tears in her eyes. She never thought that she'll meet a pony this mean and horrible. "Why *sniff* why would you say stuff like that? I was just talki-" She was cut off by Sam shouting at her again. "SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK! Because if you ever do that to my brother or anyone I know, I'LL SMASH YOUR FUCKING HEAD IN!" Sam shouted as loud as he could, he doesn't care if anyone else hears him shouting, all he wants to shout that pink pony that he thinks is hurting Joe. Pinkie burst out crying and ran quickly back to Ponyville crying her eyes out. "Yeah that's right, run away you pink little shit!" Sam turned back to Joe to see if he's all right. "You okay, Joe?" Joe was a bit shocked at what happened just now. "...yeah im fine, thanks." Joe was shaking a bit and turned back to the two ponies and the dog to see if they are awake or not. "They're still sleeping. *sigh* guess we have to-" he was cut off by someone yawing very loudly. "Hey Sam! I think dad's awake, or I hope that's dad." Ken is still yawing and then slowly he opened his eyes to see two ponies looking at him. Ken is a bit shocked at what he see's because every time he wakes up, he expects to be awake in his bedroom. Joe and Sam are still staring at dad, or they hope its dad.There was a bit of silence when the 3 are staring at each other, finally Joe is the first one to speak. "Dad?" Ken is shocked at what he heard. Not only did that pony talk, its that his voice sounds exactly like Joe's. "Joe?" Ken is now really shocked at what is happening, he was about to hug Joe, but he has to check completely if it is really Joe, but as a pony. "Joe is that really you?" "Yes dad, its me and Sam!" Joe pointed at Sam who is standing right next to him "You okay?" Ken quickly gets up to look at himself to see if he's the same form as Joe and Sam. Ken looks at himself and see's that he has a small black tail, a brown coat and no hair. Ken looks up and finds out that he thinks that he has s a horn on his head. Ken looks at the red pony which is also staring at him. "Sam?" Ken asked, hoping that the binge pony is Sam. "Dad!" Sam is so glad that its dad. Joe and Sam ran up to Ken and hugged him. "I thought that I had lost you guys!" Ken said. "I thought I did too!" both Sam and Joe shouted. Before they could say any more they got interrupted by the dog barking. Ken quickly looked at his left to see a dog that he recognize. "Chassy!" Chas ran up to Ken and started licking his face. "Oh I missed you too, my little baby!" "What's going on over there?" Ken, Joe, Sam and Chas quickly let go of each other and looked at the purple pony with a purple and a bit of pink mane and tail. "Are you all okay?" The purple pony asked. All three got a bit freaked out but Ken was the first one to speak. "Yeah, were fine. Do you know where we are exactly?" Ken wanted to know where he is because what he see's around him is too damn bright and colourful. "Oh your near the Everfree forset, what are you doing near here?" The purple pony wanted to know why they were all near the forest. None of them know why but Joe was the first one to answer the question. "All of us, well...kinda got lost in that forest and somehow ended up, well...here." Joe lied. "Oh, you must be new here aren't you?" "Probably, yeah all of us including her." Joe pointed at a pony who was still sleep and Joe hopes that its his mum. The purple looked at the pony who has a long dark brown mane and tail, a horn and a bright white coat. The purple pony turned back to Joe to ask him another question. "You all family?" The purple pony asked. Joe nodded his head. "Oh, do you guys know where you going?" Joe doesn't know how to answer that, but Ken answers it for him. "Nope, we have no bloody clue where all of us are going!" Ken shouted "Oh no, um." The purple pony wanted to help them all out to find their homes but she doesn't know what to do. She thinks for a minute and she only has the one thing she could ask them. "If you all come with me, I can take you to Ponyville and i'll let you stay at my place, if that's all right with you guys?" Sam has gone a bit off by the word Ponyville. "Wait wait wait, did you just say Ponyville?!" Sam asked. "Yeah, Ponyville is right behind me." The purple pony answered. Ken and Joe were thinking about this, its either go to Ponyville to get some help, or its go in that forest and see where its headed, but for each other's safety Ken and Joe decided. "Alright all of us are going to Ponyville!" Ken and Joe shouted. The purple pony smiled "Alright, follow me, oh my name is Twilight Sparkle by the way." "Nice to meet you Twilight, im Ken and these are my sons, Joe and Sam." "Alright?" Joe said. "And this is Chas!" Chas just looked at Twilight and then look back to Ken. "Aw he's cute." Twilight smiled to the dog. "Twilight Sparke? Oh my god, what kind of name is that? I bet she's a vampire as well!" Sam thought of that while he picked up the bright white pony and puts her on his back. Anyway, the family and Twilight are walking to Ponyville to help out the family. Will the family be back home at London? Will the family be happy here inEquesrtia? And will Sam ever lose some weight? Find out in chapter 3!
Chapter 3The family and Twilight are still walking towards Ponyville. Twilight and Ken are having a conversation about their lives, Joe is playing with Chas and Sam has got Joanna on his back. "Fucking ponies, I swear if i see that pink one again i'll-" Sam was interrupted by Twilight. "Okay everypony, were here!" Twilight happily said to the family. "Everypony? Oh for the love of-" Sam was cut off by Twilight again. (lol) "What do you think of this place, Ken?" Ken was looking around Ponyville and was thinking for a minute. "It looks nice so far." Ken said "Joe what do you think?" Joe doesn't know how to respond that so instead, of saying bad stuff to Ponyville, he says one word that everyone hates. "Its alright." "Alright?" Twilight doesn't like that answer what Joe said. "What's wrong with alright? Do you want me to say this place is rubbish instead?" Joe suggested. Twilight decided to ask Sam instead of continuing the conversation with Joe. "Sam what do you think?" Sam looks around his surroundings. "Oh god kill me now!" Sam said in his stupid brain. He decided to change his attitude from being pissed off, to be nice for once in his freaking life. "It looks nice so far and its...bright." Twilight smiles at what Sam said about Ponyville, she looks around to see what to do next. A few seconds later an idea popped into her head. "I got an idea, how about I take you all to meet-" She was cut off by somepony flying into her and both ponies were on the ground. The cyan pony looked at Twilight and gave her a sheepish laugh. "Hehe, sorry Twilight I didn't see you there." Twilight got up and saw her friend hovering in the air. "Ugh Rainbow, watch where you flying, I got new ponies here and i'm giving them a tour to Ponyville!" Rainbow gasped. "Really? Its been a while when we have new ponies coming over here. Where are they?" Rainbow looks at her left and see's 4 new ponies that she has never seen before and a dog. Rainbow hovers down between Ken and Joe. "Hi! I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria!" Joe looks at her for a minute, for some reason he reminds her of Nyan cat. "Hey, i'm Joe and i'm the best...don't know!" Joe and Rainbow chuckles. "Hehe, your a funny guy Joe, I like you already." Rainbow smiles at Joe and he smiles back "Hehe oh this ain't gonna go so well." Joe said in his head. Rainbow turns around and see's Ken. Rainbow walks to Ken and extends her hoof for a hoof shake. "Hey, Rainbow Dash is the name!" Rainbow said. Ken shakes her hoof. "Hello, my name is Ken Hersey." Ken said in a politely way. Rainbow then looks at Sam with his mum still on his back. "Who's that on your back?" Rainbow asked. Sam looked at his back to see his mum still sleeping. "Ugh mum fucking wake up!" Sam said in his head. He looks back at Rainbow and answers her question. "Oh that's my mum, she drank a lot last night." Sam lied. "I'm Sam by the way." Rainbow offers him a hoof shake. "I'm Rainbow Dash!" She waits for a hoof shake from Sam. "...well?" "Can't you see I got my mum on my fucking back!" Sam thinks that he's talking to a stupid woman...or pony. Rainbow got a bit angry by Sam's language. "Whoa dude why use that language?" "Because I can you bitch!" Rainbow now is pissed off at Sam. "You wanna go because I will take you down in one hit!" Rainbow said doing a fighting position. Sam wants to punch that pony so hard right now, it reminds him of that pink one he just shouted at back near the Everfree forest. "You know who you remind me of? That bloody pink one I just shouted at!" Rainbow gasped at what Sam said. The pink one. "Wait. Pinkie Pie? Is that why she was crying?" Joe came up to Rainbow Dash. "You know that pink one?" Joe questioned. Rainbow looked at him. "Of course I know her, she's one of my best friends! Has Sam done this to her!" Joe thinks for a second. "Should he tell the truth, or lie? Nah I wanna see Sam get owned by a pony." "Yeah, Sam made her cry." Joe answered. Rainbow gasped and turns back to Sam. "Alright you fat stallion, your gonna pay for what you did to Pinkie!" Rainbow said to Sam. Now Sam is really pissed of. He puts his mum on the floor and shouts at Joe. "JOE, WHY DID YOU TELL HER?!" "Hey! I'm an honest guy!" Joe shouted back. Sam was about to shout at him until he got a kick to face and flew back. Sam got up and decided to charge at Rainbow. "I'm gonna kick your ass, bitch!" While that's going on Joe walks back to his dad and Twilight. "What are you all doing?" Ken looks at his son and then back to Twilight. "Just watching the scene." "Yeah." Twilight breaks in. "Just watching." Joe looks at Twilight and notice that she has a horn on her forehead. "Is that a horn?" Twilight looks at Joe. "Yes it is, why?" "Can you do magic?" "Yes." Joe has got an idea. "Can you stop this fight between Rainbow and Sam.?" Twilight face hoofs. "Oh my Celestia why didn't I do that earlier?" "Celestia?" Ken and Joe said to Twilight. Twilight ignores them and uses her magic to stop the fight between Rainbow Dash and Sam. She takes both of them and takes them towards Twilight. "Right, you two apologize!" Twilight said to both of them. "The fuck did I do? I didn't do anythi-" "NOW!" Twilight shouted. "Ugh fine, i'm sorry." "Right, Rainbow now you apologize" Rainbow looks at Sam. "I'm sorry." Twilight uses her magic to put them both on the ground. "Right now that the fight is over, how about I take you to Pinkie Pie so you can apologize to her?" Twilight said to Sam. Sam got pissed of that he feels like he's in a cartoon program that's for 5 year old girls. "For fuck sake, why?" "Alright, lets get this fucking over with." Twilight smiles and walks over to Sugarcube corner. "Come on everypony its not far!" Twilight shouted. All of them were following Twilight. Rainbow was flying over Sam and she thought that was going to annoy Sam somehow, so she decided to hover over to Joe and have a little conversation. "Man, Sam is such an idiot, he thinks he can take on the toughest pony around!" Rainbow said to Joe. "He thinks he can take on anything." "I feel sorry for you to have a brother like this." Joe chuckles. "Haha, oh well don't worry about him, that guy is a bum hole." Rainbow and Joe laughs at the word bum hole. Anyway everyon- I mean everypony is walking down to Surgercube corner to see Pinkie Pie. But will Pinkie Pie accept the apology? Find out soon.
