Author's Note

(WARNING): Later on, there will be lots and lots of extreme language and a gratuitous use of caps-lock. If you're sensitive about that sort of thing, feel free to skip it. If you don't mind that sort of thing, hold onto your pants, shit's about to go down.

Chapter 17: Bring Your Boss to Work

John stared at the mare, trying to grasp the gravity of the situation. "Ok, so the Princess is coming for an extended visit in order to monitor the engineers' progress?"

Spitfire shook her head. "That's the thing, she said that she's only staying for a maximum of one week."

In his shock, John accidentally dropped the spoon he was using to eat his applesauce. "WHAT!? She expects us to finish in a WEEK!?"

Spitfire sighed. "I'm afraid so."

"You've got to be joking!" John was now on his feet leaning over the table, balled fists firmly planted on the tabletop. "We're nowhere near finished! The engines are still in pieces, the hydraulics are shot, the electrical systems are just now being finished, the cannon is beyond fucked, and I don't even want to think about the computers and avionics right now! There is no way in hell that we'll be done in a week, even if the engineers worked around the clock with no sleep at all!"

"Hey, I'm just the messenger." The yellow mare shrugged. "Besides, knowing her, she's already got a plan worked out."

"I hope to hell she does." John sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "If you don't mind, ma'am, I'd like to go break the news to my men." Spitfire nodded, but when John turned to leave the mess hall, he stopped and looked across the sea of people that had crowded into the room, all of whom were watching the pair of officers with rapt attention. "On second thought..." He looked through the crowd until he found who he was looking for "Staff Sergeant Roberts!"

"Sir!" The female Marine responded and pushed her way through the crowd.

"I need every Marine and Engineer not already here, in this room, now!"

"Aye aye, sir!" The Marine gave off a crisp salute, then began yelling "Make a hole!" while shoving anyone and everyone out of her way as she exited the mess hall to fulfill her task.

After a few moments, Spitfire pointed at where the Marine used to be, a large smile spread across her face. "I like her."

John stood next to Spitfire out on the runway, waiting for the Princess' carriage to arrive.

"I gotta say, Lieutenant, this place looks pretty damn good." Spitfire said, as she admired her freshly cleaned base. "If your guys ever want a career change, I think I might be able to use some more janitors and grounds keepers."

After his impromptu meeting the previous day, John had given the engineers the rest of the day off to relax and get some rest. The Marines, on the other-hand, weren't so lucky. The base was clean for the most part, and any clutter that was around wouldn't have drawn any attention, but John wanted the place spotless, and Spitfire certainly wasn't going to argue with free labor. So, any Marine that wasn't doing anything important, was out and about doing details. The floors inside the living quarters were mopped and waxed until you could see your reflection, every single weed was picked and all the leaves were collected, and a few of the Engineers even tidied up their makeshift workshop out by the aircraft shelters. Not wanting to be outdone by the "ground-pounders", Spitfire tasked a few pegasi to spruce up the areas that the Marines couldn't reach, mainly the cloud-buildings. After all the work was done, the base looked immaculate.

John chuckled. "Don't hold your breath, ma'am. Oh, before I forget, my Gunny came up to me last night and told me he would be busy today. Know anything about that?"

The yellow mare gave a wry smile and adjusted her Aviator sunglasses. "I heard some rumors and wanted to see if they were true or not. He said he wouldn't disappoint, so I asked if he wouldn't mind helping me out with a few things today."

"Rumors?" The man's eyebrow quirked up. "What kind of rumors?"

The grin on the Commander's face stretched from ear to ear. "I'm not gonna ruin the surprise, but I'll be sure to invite you to the show. The Princess too. She likes that sort of thing."

John recalled something the Princess had said back in Ponyville. "Show, huh? Might have to find some popcorn."

With that, the two once again descended into a comfortable silence. They didn't have to wait long for the Princess, sans chariot, to suddenly burst through the privacy clouds and begin rapidly approaching the plateau, a noticeably exhausted Wonderbolt escort trying to keep up with her.

As she touched down in front of them, the pair snapped to attention and saluted. The escort landed with a thud moments later and immediately collapsed to the ground, gasping for air.

Princess Luna examined the prone pegasus with a mischievous smile. "It appears thine Wonderbolts need more training, Commander, if they art exhausted after such a leisurely flight."

"I think your definition of 'leisurely' is a bit different than mine, ma'am." Spitfire chuckled. "But I'll be sure to add a few extra laps to the schedule. It's great to have you back Princess."

The Princess let out a great sigh, a merry smile plastered on her face "We art glad to be back. Tell us, how goes the work, Lieutenant?"

John gestured toward the canvas housings where the aircraft were kept, and the small group began walking toward them. "It's going amazingly, ma'am. Magic has made things go a lot faster than expected, however, I still have doubts that we'll finish in a week."

"Fear not, the deadline will be met, and thou shalt be airborne once more." As they approached the aircraft, many of the engineers stopped and bowed. "Rise, subjects. Henceforth, there is no need for such behavior. There is work to be done, after all."

One of the engineers approached and saluted John. "Sir, we're ready for the electronic systems test whenever you are."

"And that's my cue." Spitfire spoke up. "Lieutenant, it's been a pleasure, as always. Princess, by your leave?"

Luna nodded. "Dismissed, Commander. Inform us when thine Cadets arrive?"

"Sure thing, ma'am." Spitfire gave off a quick salute, then headed off towards the cloud buildings.

"Now, Lieutenant, what art these tests yon engineer spoke of?"

John was pleased. The tests went relatively well and nothing exploded or caught on fire, which he considered a win. They were able to cannibalize some of the fuel from the Blackhawk so that he was able to run the Auxiliary Power Unit. The only glaring issue that was found was that as soon as the APU was turned on, every pony anywhere near the aircraft was immediately deafened by the loud, high-pitched whining. Communication became difficult, but it wasn't anything that couldn't be overcome with the use of a checklist, thumbs-up and thumbs-down signals, and lots of yelling. Afterwards, John apologized for the noise, as well as his lack of foresight, then showed them a small panel on the side of the fuselage where ground crew could plug in a headset. He let them borrow his helmet and oxygen mask so that they could duplicate the speakers and microphone contained within to create such a device.

"Ma'am. I've been asked to inform you and Lieutenant Killinger that the recruits should be arriving in the next ten to fifteen minutes."

John looked up from the clipboard in his hand and saw a mustached Wonderbolt standing a few feet away.

"Ah, we thank thee. Come, Lieutenant! Let us go find the Commander." Princess Luna happily pranced out of the makeshift hangar.

John put the clipboard down on a nearby toolbox. "Actually, ma'am, if it's alright with you, I'd like to go change into a fresh set of clothes. These have gotten a bit dirty." He said.

"Hmmm..." Luna regarded the various grease and dirt stains covering the front of the man's pants and t-shirt. "Very well. After all, one wouldn't want to give a bad first impression to the young recruits."

John nodded, then set off for the underground barracks. Pushing open the door, he made his way to his room and changed into a clean set of clothes. As he pulled on his blouse and exited the room, he was met by the Gunnery Sergeant coming down the hall.

"Sir."

"Gunny." John noticed something nestled into the crook of the sergeant's left arm. "Where on earth did you get that?" He asked, pointing at the offending object.

The sergeant smiled. "Had it made special this morning."

"I assume it ties into what you're helping the Commander with?" John questioned.

"Yes, sir."

"Well, don't scare them too bad."

The Gunny gave John a wicked looking smile. "I was given free reign, sir. No promises."

John chuckled and headed toward the exit, the Sergeant following behind him. Exiting the barracks and climbing the stairs up to ground level, he looked around and quickly spotted the dark blue form of Princess Luna standing next to Spitfire about halfway down the runway.

"Nice of you to join us, Lieutenant." Spitfire greeted him as he approached the pair. "Your timing couldn't be better." She pointed a hoof out towards the horizon. "The first ones are about to arrive." John looked out through a section of the privacy barrier that had been removed and, sure enough, he spotted a pair of pegasi rapidly approaching the base. "There'll be fifteen total. Not the biggest class ever, but also not the smallest we've had. As soon as the last one lands, the fun part begins."

The two pegasi landed, dropped their bags off to the side, then began conversing with each other, completely oblivious to the four figures standing not far from them. Not long after, they were joined by another pegasus, then another, and another, until, after about twenty minutes, all fifteen recruits were standing around in a large group in the middle of the runway.

"Sergeant? You're up." Spitfire said.

In a singular, fluid motion, the Gunnery Sergeant pulled a dark green campaign hat out from under his arm, planted it on top of his head, and marched over to the mass of unsuspecting ponies.

"ATTEEEEN-SHUN!!!"

The ponies closest to the outburst folded their ears back at the sheer volume of the man's voice.

"I SAID...ATTEEEEEEEEN-SHUN!!!! GET YOUR SORRY ASSES IN FORMATION OR SO HELP ME, I WILL PT YOU UNTIL YOU ALL FUCKING DIE!"

The recruits quickly scrambled around and formed one long line of ponies on the center-line of the runway. Many of them held their heads high and puffed out their chests, hoping to impress the strange being yelling at them. It didn't work.

"IF YOU THINK I'M IMPRESSED, YOU'RE SORELY MISTAKEN! I'VE SEEN BETTER LOOKING TURDS ON THE FLOOR OF A PUBLIC RESTROOM!" A few of the recruits visibly angered, but they wisely held their tongues. "MY NAME IS GUNNERY SERGEANT JOHNSON, AND I WILL BE ONE OF YOUR DRILL INSTRUCTORS FOR THE DURATION OF YOUR STAY HERE! BEHIND ME, YOU WILL NOTICE THREE INDIVIDUALS! ON THE RIGHT IS COMMANDER SPITFIRE! ON THIS BASE, HER WORD IS LAW! YOU WILL DO WHAT SHE SAYS, WHEN SHE SAYS IT, HOWEVER SHE WANTS IT DONE! FAILURE TO DO SO WILL BE MET WITH PAIN AND SUFFERING AWARDED BY YOURS TRULY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?"

The formation of ponies gave out a rather halfhearted "Yes, sir."

"I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU! SOUND OFF LIKE YOU'RE NOT A BUNCH OF RETARDED FIVE-YEAR-OLDS!"

"YES, SIR!"

"THAT'S BETTER! ON THE LEFT, THAT IS FIRST LIEUTENANT KILLINGER! IN THE AIR, HE IS THE HAND OF GOD, BUT ON THIS BASE, HE IS IN CHARGE OF THOSE TWO TENTS OVER THERE, AND THE BARRACKS UNDERNEATH THIS AIRSTRIP!" The sergeant pointed at the two makeshift hangars housing the aircraft. "THOSE TENTS ARE OFF-LIMITS! YOU WILL MAINTAIN A FIFTY-FOOT RADIUS AROUND THOSE TENTS, AT ALL TIMES! FAILURE TO DO SO WILL RESULT IN YOUR IMMEDIATE REMOVAL FROM THIS INSTALLATION! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?"

"YES, SIR!"

"OUTSTANDING! NOW, IN THE CENTER, YOU SORRY SACKS OF SHIT HAVE THE GREAT PRIVILEGE OF BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF THE KEEPER OF THE NIGHT AND WARDEN OF DREAMS, HER MAJESTY, PRINCESS LUNA! SHE IS HERE TO ASSIST THE LIEUTENANT, BUT WILL ALSO BE OBSERVING YOUR TRAINING! EVERY TIME YOU MAGGOTS FUCK SOMETHING UP, SHE WILL SEE, AND SHE WILL NOT BE HAPPY! IF SHE IS NOT HAPPY, I AM NOT HAPPY! IF I AM NOT HAPPY, I AM ANGRY! YOU DO NOT WANT ME ANGRY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?"

"YES, SIR"

"OUTSTANDING! NOW-"*achoo* John could almost feel the air temperature drop, and the way the Gunnery Sergeant's head snapped towards the sound of the sneeze sent a small shiver up his spine. "WHO DID THAT!? WHO'S THE CUM-GUZZLING SHITSTAIN THAT DID THAT!?"

"M-m-me, s-s-s-sir." A visibly terrified, orange pegasus replied, as the sergeant marched up to him.

"DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SNEEZE IN MY FORMATION CADET!?" The Gunny yelled, bending over so his face was inches away from the recruit's.

"N-no, s-sir."

"THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO IT!?"

"Umm, w-well I, uh-"

"UM! UR! UH! SPEAK WORDS, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS!" The recruit's eyes turned to pinpricks and he shrank away from the screaming demon in front of him. "DON'T YOU FUCKING MOVE AWAY FROM ME! YOU ARE AT THE POSITION OF ATTENTION! I DON'T CARE IF A MOTHERFUCKING PORCUPINE IS TRYING TO CRAWL UP YOUR ASSHOLE, YOU DON'T MOVE A FUCKING MILLIMETER!"

"Geez, man. Calm down, it was just a sneeze."
"Yeah, lighten up."

The hunched-over marine shot bolt upright and he all but sprinted down the line of recruits, looking for the poor souls that drew his ire. "OH FUCK ME SIDEWAYS! WE GOT SOME TOUGH GUYS IN THE GROUP! WELL, STEP FORWARD TOUGH GUYS! LET THE OTHER FAILED ABORTIONS KNOW WHO THEIR SAVIORS ARE!" A tan and a light blue pegasus both took a step forward, and the Gunny capitalized on their mistake. "CONGRATULATIONS FUCK-NUGGETS! YOU TWO HANGER-DODGERS JUST SAVED EVERYONE FROM A MOST HORRIBLE FATE! WANNA KNOW WHAT IT WAS!?"

The two pegasi nervously glanced at each other. "Um... What?"

The sergeant smiled a wicked smile. "DINNER! INSTEAD OF EATING CHOW TONIGHT, I'VE DECIDED THAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME NICE, WHOLESOME PT!" The sergeant turned around and addressed Spitfire. "COMMANDER! PERMISSION TO FEED THE CADETS!"

Spitfire smiled. "Give them a three-course meal, Gunnery Sergeant."

"AYE-AYE, MA'AM!" The sergeant turned back to the recruits, who were all now pondering their life choices. "YOU HEARD THE COMMANDER! MOVE YOUR ASSES! RUN MOTHERFUCKERS, RUN!!!" Each pony shot off like their tails were on fire, with the pissed off Gunny following closely behind offering words of encouragement. "RUN! RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!!!! RUN LIKE THE DEVIL IS CHASING YOU! BECAUSE IF I CATCH YOU, YOU'LL WISH HE WAS!"

The sergeant's voice slowly faded as the group of terrified ponies got farther away.

"Lieutenant?"
John turned to a wide-eyed Luna.
"Can I keep him?