Typical.
Ian couldn't help but laugh at the sight. “Let's go, Jack, we need to get out of here,” he told the dependable procrastinator.
His friend's response was nothing more than a wave of his hand as he continued to recline in the operator's seat. “I'm on it, already. Give me a break, OK?”
“I told you already, the wrecking crew isn't involved with this one. Explosives only,” the other replied.
Jack sighed, stepping down from the wrecking ball's control box and onto the gravel below. “I never get to do anything at these demolitions, Ian. I thought we were going to talk to management about it?”
Ian rolled his eyes upward. “Stop complaining, alright? You're practically getting paid to sit around for hours at a time. Now, can we possibly talk about this once were outside the blast zone?” he asked.
“Whatever,” Jack said in a low voice. One foot in front of the other, he thought. Just keep going; it'll be over soon.
His thoughts turned to the past hours of the day as he and his companion started toward the safe area under the charcoal sky. Previous weather reports found no object as small drops of water pelted the ground around them. What the hell am I doing here? Jack demanded of himself. I'm educated...why am I working construction? Half a day of grunt labor for $16 an hour...
“Alright, Eeyore,” Ian interrupted Jack's self deprecating train of thought, turning toward his companion. “What's up with you? You've been a raincloud all week, and it's starting to grate on my nerves.”
Jack took a deep breath and looked upward. Running a hand through his blond hair, he frowned as he searched for a response. “I have no idea. I've just been feeling like crap...”
Ian waved his hand in a circular motion . “And...?” he encouraged.
“And what?” Jack replied without looking his friend in the eye, determined to dodge the question.
“Come on, Jack; let's not do this,” Ian said. “We both know something is the matter with you. Now why don't you just-”
“I told you, I don't know!” Jack snapped suddenly. “Look, just drop it, alright?”
Ian held up his hands and fell silent. As they continued toward a plexiglass barrier set among the numerous construction vehicles, not a word was said between them.
Jack glanced briefly at his watch as he stepped into the safe area. His were the only eyes not trained on the impressive building doomed to fall not sixty seconds from then. No, they were focused closer.
Staring intently at his reflection in the shield, his blue eyes positively glowing in contrast to the sunken and weary face that surrounded them. With a tilt of the head, he looked back on the most recent years of his life
22 years old? he thought bitterly. I'm a joke...
“Columbia University!” his mother had exclaimed on his eighteenth birthday. “With your track record, you can graduate in two years!”
Jack laughed derisively as explosives rocked the earth around them; the skyscraper above flattened gently as if it were paper. Yeah, two years...two years and $40,000 in debt later, and what do I have to show for it?
Without a second glance at the ruined building, Jack made an about-face and walked briskly toward the chain link enclosure’s exit.
“Hey, wait up!” a voice called after him.
Jack stopped and rolled his eyes, turning hesitantly toward Ian. “Yeah?” he asked, the feigned pleasantness of his voice fooling neither party.
Ian forced a smile. “Some guys and I were going to go get a few beers. Did you want to-”
“No,” Jack answered abruptly. “Sorry, I've got...stuff to do at home.”
Ian raised his eyebrows. “Suit yourself,” he replied with a shrug of resignation.
Jack nodded, continuing his slow pace toward the exit. As he left, Ian called out once more.
“Some time, you're going to have to learn to let people in!” Ian said in a kind tone despite Jack's lack of manners.
Jack stopped again, refusing to turn again. “Maybe.”
“When the chips are down, friends are all you've got,” Ian said. “You know that, don't you?”
Wearing a grim smile, Jack ignored him as he carried on in silence. Friends...it’s almost funny now, he thought as he exited the construction site and walked briskly toward the nearest subway station. They all betrayed me...every last one.
He shook his head in disgust; time seemed to pass in a blur in the underground as the long, metal transportation device arrived on the tracks.
Senses adjusting gradually to the dank subway scents and dim lights, he gingerly took a seat amidst the homeless and home-bound. He shook his head with a sad smile as the train rumbled along the subway tracks. “Friend”...Here in New York, my only friend is a long, hollow piece of metal, he thought almost longingly of what awaited him at his residence. It's all I need.
* * *
“This whole place is just a deathtrap, if you ask me,” Twilight said ruefully, staring over the edge of the mountainside. “Why are were even here?”
“We're here, darling, so we can find a very special gem I was looking for...” Rarity replied, unfazed by Twilight's attitude. She glanced rapidly all around the dreary plateau, undeterred by the cliff’s dangerous height as she searched for her prize. “A moonstone! I've only ever found three before, but the outfits I put them on? Simply gorgeous! Not that they wouldn't have been so without the gem, you know me...but even still! So-”
Her self-praising rant came to a halt as she wheeled about to face Twilight. A distinct expression of disapproval and good old fashion irritation seemingly glued to her face, Rarity decided to save her self-flattery for another occasion.
“Ahem,” Rarity gave a slight cough before returning to her search. “Anyway...Spike, dear? Any luck?”
The dragon appeared from behind a large pile of boulders shaking his head. “Nothing. Are you sure you saw this thing out here?” he asked.
She simply gave a determined nod before continuing. “We just need to be patient...it'll all be worth it in the end.”
Twilight gave an almost inaudible sigh as she looked queasily over the mountainside. While she was certainly happy for Spike and Rarity, she but could do without being dragged to remote and dangerous locations to “search for stuff”.
Searches that would very quickly devolve into...
“Ugh, get a room, hmm?” she stamped her foot in disapproval as the two latched onto one another in a passionate kiss. “Aren't we supposed to be looking for something?”
They broke apart sheepishly. Rubbing the back of his neck with a claw, Spike coughed and mumbled something that sounded like “couldn't control myself” before stomping off quickly in the opposite direction. Even as he left, Rarity stared fondly as he disappeared behind a large stone pillar.
“He'll probably need some help with those, eh...” she cleared her throat loudly as she took off after him. “...boulders of his.”
Twilight sighed again as her unicorn companion followed in his footsteps.
Of course I'm happy for them, she assured herself, trying to remain supportive as she tread carefully out onto the sheet of hanging rock, hundreds of feet above the ground. Part of her content to finally have solitude among the two lovers, she stopped and stared uneasily at the landscape around and the hard ground below. The sky had shifted from azure to maroon as sunset approached, but the two others remained determined nevertheless.
Amazing how committed Rarity can be when it's something she wants, Twilight's emotions boiled viciously.
She suddenly shook her head, disgusted with her own thoughts. Rarity isn't like that! I know she's not like that...so why in the world am I so determined to find fault with what she's...
She stopped, looking out on the clouds dotting the maroon sky, forming orange and pink lines in an ocean of blood...
Now that's a morbid thought...she realized suddenly. Why am I so violent lately? Am I...?
She shook the thoughts from her head. That is not me...
Even as she scoffed at her own notions, labeled them “ridiculous”, she couldn't help but wonder...
Am I?
Jealous?
No. the last remaining resistance in her body protested. You've never thought of Spike that way, you shouldn't!
But this isn't about Spike specifically, now is it? she retorted internally.
With a frown, she glanced at the golden orb as it crest over the horizon. It's those feelings in general...she told herself for the umpteenth time. Why are they suddenly such a big deal to me?
“Romance,” she had scoffed in the past years. “Who in Equestria needs that anyway? It's just some stupid, made up...”
But each time she attempted to convince herself of its superfluous nature...
Wow, that stallion is kind of...she would catch herself beginning every time she dared to venture from Ponyville's library.
She would throw herself into bed every night, distraught and having made no progress whatsoever. Finally, it grew to be too much.
“Dear Princess Celestia...” she had written in the months past, “I've been having these feelings, and they're really, really...” She paused while attempting to locate a word in her vast vocabulary that would sum up the situation. She groaned as she wrote down the only word she could presently think of:
“Weird.”
Begging the princess for help? she demanded of herself even as she sent the letter. Is that really your style?
No...she admitted. But what choice do I have?
Celestia's answer shed no light on the situation. “Dearest Twilight,” she had replied. “These feelings are nothing you should want to 'get rid of'. They're a part of every mare's life that always come up sooner or later. You'll learn to enjoy them in time. Other than that, I have no advice for you. Good luck!”
Twilight had thrown the letter away in disgust. Not even the princess can help?
Forget it, she said resolutely after reading the princess' response. If these feelings are here to stay, I'll just ignore them.
Twilight laughed bitterly. Just look at how well that turned out.
“Ugh...” she groaned aloud. Now I'm jealous that my best friends have love...she realized in horror. Why is this so hard? Why can't I just be happy that they're happy?
Yet what infuriated her most wasn't her inability to ignore the feelings...
“Why can't science just explain this?” she had raged in the library one month ago, tossing aside yet another textbook that had failed to grant her an answer.
But she'd given up attempting to understand it as well. There were only two options left. First was to...
Embrace it, she realized. Just find somepony who has feelings for you, and go from there.
Her expression became sour as the tip of the sun was finally obscured by the horizon. That worked out so well...
“There must be at least one stallion in Ponyville who would feel that way about me!” she reasoned many moons ago.
A month later, she was still disappointed. Then two, then three and four, and each passing day left fewer and fewer options open. Disappointment became depression, became bitterness, became hopelessness. Finally, there was nothing left to do except...
She sighed glumly as darkness shrouded the sky above, finally realizing the truth.
“Give up,” she said as her eyes shut in submission.
It's all I've got left...
* * *
A bounce...a rumble...Gentle, peaceful.
“Enjoyment” was hardly the term most passengers would use to describe public transportation. “Necessary evil” would be more accurate.
But even through the overpowering scents of cologne and public restroom toilets, through sights of litter or worse, Jack had managed to develop an appreciation for the aspects of New York's subways. It's like a mini-massage, sometimes, he reasoned. It gives me time to unwind, too. And then there's the...
He attempted to retain a hold on his breakfast as the overpowering scent of...something came wafting by him.
Well, most of the time I can enjoy them, he thought while swallowing a gag. And it's not a time to be choosy...
Amidst the responsibilities of a physically demanding twelve hour job, he would relish any personal time as if it were his own child. Despite the fact that such time was usually filled with such thoughts as...
I'm worthless, he told himself plainly.
Such thoughts were neither rare nor some thunderous epiphany; they had in fact become all too common, the simple grim acceptance of what he knew to be true.
A degree in chemistry? he scoffed. What a joke...as if actually caring about something ever got anyone anywhere...
“It's my purpose in life, I can feel it!” he had appealed to his family years previously. “It's something I actually enjoy doing, and best of all, there's a market for that kind of work!”
He rebutted his own argument with a bitter shake of the head. If only I could go back and warn you...
Two years. Two years with a bachelor's degree in applied bio-chemistry, and what has it gotten me?
“Things will turn around!” his parents attempted to encourage him upon graduation. “There's always demand in scientific fields.”
His shoulders slumped, his head hung low. Two years working some crap construction job...Living paycheck to paycheck in a studio apartment...no real friends to speak of, no girlfriend...
A low grunt escaped his lips, his final revelation hitting particularly close to home. Just look your high school valedictorian now, ladies and gents...haven't had an interview since high school, haven't been on a single date in three years. Haven’t even talked to a woman in weeks...and why would they want to talk to me? All I've got left are these freaking p-
NO, he bellowed internally. I'm not even going to think about that until I need to.
He set his face in his hands, attempting to work the intense feelings out. Is it shame? Am I ashamed of liking something like that? Is that it?
Irrational self loathing boiled in his veins like a venom. What the hell is going on? he demanded of himself.
Internal battle continuing even as exited the subway and finally reached the door of his home, Jack decided it was no use. Each self-debate left him with twice as many questions and half as many answers as he had started with. He stepped across the threshold of the studio apartment, flipping a switch and sending the light of a single overhead lamp cascading into the darkness beyond.
Thus is my life...his thoughts rang as he stared into the blank white walls and depressing brown carpeting.
He bypassed the apartment's small kitchenette, appetite more than diminished by the lovely sights and smells of the famed New York subways.
A slight laugh escaped him as he entered his living area. Minimalism had always been his game. However...
A bed, a desk and a chair, he mused, That would be fun to explain to a woman.
Setting himself in the cushy black office chair, he prepared to engage the only two aspects of life that still managed to amuse him.
As the laptop atop his desk displayed its bright loading screen, he reached into one of the numerous drawers of the wooden contraption and removed a metal container. It contained only two items:
A belt,
And a syringe.
Jack wrapped the thin leather strip tightly around his left arm, clicking away a storm on a his small computer as he did so. Before long, sound and sight started to come forth from the small screen.
Bright colors, fun songs...he smiled, unfazed by the dualistic nature of his actions as he removed a plastic cap from the hollow metal cylinder.
“My Little Pony, My Little Pony...” he couldn't help but sing along as the steel tube touched his bare skin.
With a deep breath, he carefully inserted the injection device into a vein. Slowly depressing the plunger, he exhaled deeply. Finally...relief.
His expression became dreamy and unconcerned as the narcotic slipped slowly past his makeshift tourniquet and into his body. What little focus he was still capable of was trained intently on the electronic device in front of him.
At least I have this...right? he pondered. At least something still makes me-
But reality finally caught up to his idealistic thoughts. Even through the drug induced euphoria...
“Is this really what I've become?” he whispered to the walls as a tear escaped his eye. “Shooting up to a cartoon?”
Glancing back and forth between the glowing screen and gleaming silver, tears poured down his guilt ridden face. It had finally dawned on him.
“What do I even have here?” he wondered. “What am I living for?”
He shut his eyes and wept. After what felt like ages, he forced his eyelids open and glanced at his only friend.
“Half empty...” he said to himself as he examined the black lines along the syringe's clear plastic body. “I always promised I would only use...”
Half, he recalled.
“Any more and you'll be pushing up daisies,” a dealer had told him years prior.
“But what does he know?” Jack whispered in the darkness. “How does he know what will happen, if he hasn’t done it?”
He glanced at the screen as a second tear rolled down his cheek, letting his sweet misery flow forward. With a glance from the plastic cylinder to the glowing screen, he conjured what hope was left in his body.
“Maybe I would end up there,” he thought aloud. “With AJ, an Rainbow and the rest...my life could be perfect.”
Halfway to the end...he thought as he examined the jet black lines along the syringe’s clear plastic body. Halfway to somewhere there’s no pain, or hurt, or rejection. A place where every color can be beautiful and vivid like the ones I’m seeing now, every sound can be the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.
Paradise.
He placed a thumb over the plastic, applying slow pressure to the plunger.
With only wrenching depression grasping his mind, he watched unconcerned as the clear liquid drained into his body.
Empty, he thought with an irrational chuckle.
Grasping the clasp of the belt as gently as he would a baby, there was no hesitation in his movement. “Here we go,” he said quietly, the same maniacal smile on his face.
Wrenching the clasp open, the doping drug flooded his brain. Senses dulled, thoughts struggled to form, muscles relaxed.
His heart rate slowed dangerously as his eyes focused on the lavender character now in focus on the screen. “Maybe if I go there, I can be like her...actually make something of my life.”
“Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall,” He sang tearfully as he cast his gaze to the ceiling. “Learn to face your fears...you’ll see they can’t hurt you, just laugh to make them...
“Make them...”
His eyelids drooped slowly as he exhaled a last breath.
“Disappear.”
* * *
‘A breeze, the chirping crickets...Gentle, peaceful.
With a sigh she stared into the sanguine sky. It’s like everyone else has someone to share it with...
“I hope those two are finished with whatever it is they doing!” Twilight called over her shoulder, voice aflame with sarcasm. “I know I sure wouldn’t want to leave a friend waiting in the dark!”
“Twilight, dear?” came the reply. “Are you there? Stop delaying, we need to go!”
Twilight rared back on her hind legs in frustration. Am I just crazy? Is that it?
As her hooves were re-acquainted with the harsh stone, a single word jumped to her mind. Earthquake, she thought frantically as the ground shuddered violently beneath her.
Glancing rapidly around in the growing darkness, Twilight just managed to make out the massive cracks that appeared at either edge of the stone disk. Heart racing, pupils dilating, her entire body froze in fear.
Time seemed to pass at a snail's pace as the cracks finally met. Even as she came back to her senses, it was too late; her body plummeted at top speed toward the unforgiving ground below.
Finding just enough reason left in her body, she performed the little action she could. As her body neared the ground, her horn glowed brightly, casting a purple sheen across her body. She began to slow the descent ever so slightly as she neared her ultimate destination.
It wasn't enough.
She impacted the ground with nearly explosive force. Bones cracked, blood flowed and flesh tore as she attempted to remain conscious. She found herself unable to even scream in agony as the head-crushing pain gripped her entire body.
At least...I'm still alive to feel the pain, she reasoned as she attempted not to vomit.
“Twilight!” Spike called from the top of the mountain, the echoes rebounding off the walls and barely registering in her clouded mind. “We heard something, are you-”
The voice stopped abruptly. Through her fading vision, she could barely see his head peek out over the cliff.
His shriek seemed to fill the entire valley. “Twilight!”
But as her senses dulled, the exclamation came as little more than a gentle murmur in Twilight's ears. She forced herself to remain awake as Spike scooped Rarity up in his arms and dove toward her.
“Twilight,” he said urgently as the duo landed. “Come on, Twilight! You've got to hold on, you're stronger than this!”
He picked her up gently, attempting to avoid shifting her mangled limbs.
“Twilight!” he practically shouted at her. “Come on, stay with us! We’re going to get you out of here!”
She stared up at him through waning focus, consciousness rapidly slipping away. Summoning all her strength as her wounds dyed her coat magenta, as her injuries squeezed shimmering droplets from her eyes, she spoke the only words her thoughts could find.
“Goodbye, Spike,” she whispered.
And her strength left her.
* * *
Warm...
Sunny...
I wonder where this-
He stopped himself. New York’s weather is horrible this time of year. Why should I care where the new weather came from?
He chuckled. I wonder what they’d say, stuck back in the big city when I’m somewhere like this. Warm, sunny and...sandy? Wait, what the hell?
Jack forced his eyes open, only to be blinded by golden sunbeams. Where am I? he wondered desperately as his eyes adjusted to the bright lights.
Finally regaining his vision, Jack quickly surveyed his surroundings.
I'm wearing...what is this?
His stained blue jeans and flannel shirt had been replaced by pure white leggings and T-shirt. Plucking a the soft neckline of his new chest covering, he shook his head in bewilderment; it was all he could do to gape at his new location.
A beach...? he wondered. How...?
The shores stretched endlessly in either direction; their grainy surface flowed over the horizon and seemingly into infinity. Without a cloud in the sky, the sun shone cast its golden beams to the world below, illuminating the sand as if it were golden dust. Even the ocean seemed surreal, the sun’s beams cascading through its surface and illuminated it as an endless pool of sapphires.
I must still be high, he concluded.
He placed his hands in the shifting ground as he made to stand. Even the sand felt unrealistic; while he could feel its grainy quality, it also had the unusual sensation of-
“Velvet?” he said in wonderment as he stood, letting the grains slip through his fingers. “What is this place?”
With a step toward the waterline, he racked his brain for answers. How did I get here? Why can't I remember anything?
He gripped his temples as a wave of pain shot through his head. Why is everything in a fog?
He took a deep breath. “Think!” he said quietly, rubbing his temples.. “What did you-”
But he stopped abruptly at the next sight he saw. A revelation that would be unremarkable to most.
“No hole...” he said with a glance at unblemished left arm. “No track mark? So that means...”
I'm not high? What’s going on here?
Stepping across the sandy shores and to the waterline, he reached slowly into the gentle tide.
It's warm...This time of year? What did I do last night?
Turning his back to the ocean, he examined the world beyond. As far as the eye could see, nothing more than sand and palm trees existed in this place.
As he attempted to banish the intense headache that clouded his mind, a sudden inexplicable urge took over his body.
...Thirsty...I wonder...?
Approaching the water once more, he reached his left hand into the current and brought the pool it created to his lips. As it wet his tongue, he quickly realized it was...
“Cold,” he said incredulously, reaching for another handful. “It’s fresh, too...someone has got to be screwing with me,” he decided with a chuckle.
Gaze locked upon his extended arm, seemingly random images flashed through his mind. It feels like there's something there, he grimaced as electrifying pain shot through his veins.
He fell backward into the sand, laying peacefully as the tide brushed his bare feet. So what is it? A dream?
He shook his head. No...I’ve never been this lucid in a dream before. Some kind of residual effect from the drugs, maybe?
Whatever it is, I might as while enjoy it while I’m here. A mini-vacation, or something like that. Magic water, velvety sand...
With a dreamy smile and a contented sigh, he stretched luxuriously as the ocean current sang him a lullaby. A little solitude, that could be nice. Right?
I wonder what Ian and the rest of the guys are up to?
A laugh escaped his mouth. Probably getting wasted at the bar...playing cards, joking around...
A frown marred his dreamy expression as he remembered how he had acted toward Ian. Why do I do that?
Unwanted memories forced their way into his psyche. Oh yeah...he remembered the device he had held the previous night. How did I ever get to that point? Go from being straight as an arrow to crooked as a corkscrew?
He grimaced as he looked back in his life. All that money spent getting wasted, what has it gotten me?
His eyes shut in concentration as unclear memories began to focus in his mind. I was lifting off last night...watching the show.
What did I-
Nausea hit him like a brick wall as the he recalled his actions, attempting to process the realization as it crashed on him like a tidal wave. Bile forced its way up his throat and was spewed unceremoniously onto the sand.
He cradled his face in his hands, eyes wide and flowing with tears. “I tried to...no, I didn't try, I did...”
His stomach turned over, his heart beat like a drum. Staring into the sand in terror, he fell onto his hands as the revelation overtook him. “I'm gone. Alone. Trapped.”
Cries of anguish echoed into the empty world. “What have I done?” he wept.
“I'm sorry!” he shrieked at the indigo sky. “I'll take it back, I'll change! Just give me another chance!”
Deafening silence was his reply. Heart aflame with torment, his emotions exploded in a wave of misery as he pounded the ground. “I didn't want this! I didn’t want to be alone forever! Please, give me another chance!”
The stillness of the world mocked him. There was not an ounce of dignity left in his body as he fell face first into the ground. “I didn’t mean it,” he told to the ocean. “I’m sorry,” he whispered to the sky.
His misery echoed in the void for a seemingly endless amount of time. Motivation had fled his body.
“Maybe I’m wrong,” a gentle female voice spoke behind him after an eternity. “But I think we could both use a friendly face.”
Through tear strewn eyes and guilt ridden conscience, a colorful blur became visible against the expansive beryl sky.
Vision still unfocused, Jack struggled to recognize the new arrival. “Am I...dead?” he asked through heaves.
“I don’t think so,” she replied kindly.
Jack’s eyes began to clear as she approached him.
“Are you alright?” she asked tenderly.
“I guess,” he answered with a sniff. “I’m just a little freaked out about waking up alone on a magic beach in the middle of nowhere,” he gave a teary eyed chuckled. “Do you know where we are?”
“That’s what I’d like to find out,” she said. “and I think we can help each other.”
As his eyes were scrubbed of their last obstruction, he nearly fainted when she extended her violet appendage toward him. Mouth agape, he reached a shaking hand; grasping her hoof, he gave it a gentle shake.
“My name,” she said, “Is Twilight Sparkle.”
