Pinkie Pie, That's Not A Soccer Ball!
Pinkie Pie is a strange being. Words like those have never been so true. It’s as if she can bend the fabric of space and time at her will and know things not even genius’s such as Twilight Sparkle knows, but she is confused by the simplest of questions and problems. She is unsure of many things in which a regular pony would be sure of in the matter of a few frames of a second. Whether her mind is a friendly gift or hostile weapon is dependent upon the situation at hoof, and oh boy did she ever have a situation in which it was an enemy.
It was a calm day in Ponyville’s park, and Pinkie Pie was taking quite a happy nature walk. She stopped to stare at the occasional tree and smile like it was so much different than other trees. It looked as though her eyes were so fixed on the tree that she was watching it perform photosynthesis. After about thirty seconds, she moved on, saying hello to every pony she passed by. It was quite the beautiful day.
Or, at least it was a beautiful day until she saw something that surprised her. Down the sidewalk were two sweating stallions carrying a giant wagon. It was so heavy that the wheels sparked electricity as they rolled, or maybe that was just Pinkie’s funky imagination. A new Power Plant had opened up in Ponyville not too long ago, and Pinkie guessed that they were hauling something over to it. She hopped over to the back of the wagon to see what exactly they were, and boy, oh boy, was she confused. Stacked up in the wagon were relatively large spheres that were exactly half white and red. Pinkie didn’t know what to make of it, for she had never seen objects like these in her life. Then, something made her jump: the wagon hit a hole in the ground violently, disrupting the stack of odd objects quite tremendously. While they didn’t topple over and fall all over the ground, one did pop off and began to roll at a rather quick pace toward Pinkie. At mere feet before Pinkie Pie, the sphere quickly halted, but Pinkie budged not an inch. Curiously, Pinkie gently poked it with her hoof, and to her surprise, it actually responded with a hop. With a fun-filled yet unsure smile, she poked it twice this time, and, unsurprisingly, the sphere responded with two hops.
“Hee hee! You’re fun, Mister Ball!” Pinkie giggled. The sphere stood where it was, unmoving and silent. Pinkie, with little force, pushed the sphere this time with her hoof. As she did, the sphere bolted forward extraordinarily fast, leaving Pinkie with her mouth open. It then made a quick u-turn and stopped at Pinkie’s hoof as though there were a wall in front of her.
“Wow! You’re fast! But what are you…?” Pinkie said as she sat down to let her mind run wild with ideas. “Hmmm… round, two colors, and moves fluently when I hit or push it… AHA! You, Mister Ball, must be a new kind of soccer ball!”
Pinkie pushed the sphere again, this time with a tad more force, and it launched off so fast that it nearly flew off the ground. Sparks erupted from the back of it as it turned around and headed back to Pinkie. It must have been traveling at least 60mph!
“Wow,” Pinkie said as she picked up the sphere, “You’re pretty cool! But I think it’s time to put you back on the pile of—“
As Pinkie looked up and around, she soon noticed that the stallions that were carrying the wagon had vanished. There was no sign of them or the giant pile of super soccer balls. Pinkie grew a mischievous smile.
“Well, well, well, Mister Soccer Ball, it appears that you’re with me for the time being.” She said to the sphere. “We’re gonna have lots of fun.”
“Electrode…” the ball whispered as the hidden face on the opposite side of which Pinkie was facing grew a large grin.
“Hmm… I know what we should do! We should go visit my friend, Twilight! She’s always at her library, doing something with her books. What do ya say?” Pinkie encouraged.
“Electrode…” the sphere whispered.
“Hey! Did you say something!?” Pinkie said as she gasped with amazement. “Say it again. Err… no! That’s boring. Say your name!”
“Electrode.” Electrode said a tad more clearly.
“Electrode the Super-Soccer Ball, huh? That’s a cool name! C’mon, Electrode, let’s go visit my friend!”
“Electrode…” Electrode whispered in a shady and evil manor.
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
Pinkie knocked on the door of the Ponyville library, bouncing up and down with Electrode in her tail. She couldn’t wait to tell Twilight about the new soccer ball she found.
“Come in!” Pinkie heard from inside. As she opened the door, the purple unicorn in mind sat on the floor, reading a book about power plants and fossil fuels.
“Oh, hello, Pinkie! I was just reading about how power plants work, y’know, since there’s a new one not too far from here. What brings you over here?”
“I wanted you to meet my new friend!” Pinkie cheered.
“Friend?” Twilight said as she looked around. “I don’t see anypony with you. Who’s your new friend?”
“He’s not a pony, Twilight. He’s a soccer ball!”
“A… soccer ball? What!? How can you be friends with an inanimate object?”
Pinkie flipped Electrode from her tail up into the air and into her hooves and his evil face stared into Twilight’s soul. She gasped and looked down at her book. There, directly on the page, a picture of the same thing that Pinkie held was printed and along the side of the picture was a warning label about it being explosive. Twilight looked back up with ultra-wide eyes.
“Pinkie, no! That’s not a soccer ball!” Twilight shouted.
“Yes he is! He goes really fast when I push him. Watch! You catch him!” Pinkie said as she readied her hooves on the top of Electrode. With a forceful push, Electrode bolted with full hostility toward Twilight.
“PINKIE, STOP! NO!” Twilight yelled, but it was too late.
BOOM!
An explosion filled the room as Electrode hit Twilight with a face filled with blistering rage. The whole library shook violently and was nearly uprooted by the force of the explosion. Ponies passing by the library were nearly swept off their hooves as the ground rumbled below them. When the smoke within the library rose to the ceiling and the scene became clear, Twilight stood in front of Pinkie with an annoyed face, her body completely covered in soot and many of the books in the library laid on the ground, all burnt.
“Wow, Twilight, that shot I made was positively… EXPLOSIVE!” Pinkie said with a pitch black face as she jumped in the air.
“Pinkie.” Twilight started. “That wasn’t a soccer ball.”
Pinkie tilted her head. “Then what was it?”
“That was an explosive electrical output, or to put in a way you can understand, a bomb.”
“Maybe so,” Pinkie began, “but it was a bomb I could use as a soccer ball!”
Twilight shut her eyes and sighed very slowly. She then began to take deep breaths. After her third breath, she opened her eyes and looked at Pinkie with mean, cold eyes.
“Pinkie?” Twilight asked.
“Yes… Twilight?” Pinkie responded nervously.
“I hate you.”
