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                    The Mask We Put On                     
                        -by Tofazz-                        
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                    The Mask We Put On                     
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The Mask We Put On
The Mask We Put On
A smile drew itself of Caramel’s muzzle as he looked down on the day’s work neatly stacked on top of each other in the corner of the large hangar. The boat that had arrived with today’s goods had been over an hour late, but in return the crewmembers had jumped on the docks to help them haul in the crates.
He quickly went over the list of what should be delivered today; it seemed like the order mostly consisted of building materials and hay that were to be transported down to Canterlot tomorrow at first sun. He tapped each crate as he walked past them, noting amount and value, and then scribbled it down to be delivered to the dock master. Reaching the end of the list he halted: there was a bundle of cloth that was missing.
Caramel started to walk around the storage unit to see if any of the crew from the boat had misplaced it. The insides of the unit had a brown color gained from the unpainted boards of wood they had used to build it. Along the walls different boxes with numbers had been made early on as they quickly realized that they needed a system to keep things on track. Today’s shipment had been placed in the box furthest in on the backer wall, where all deliveries that was headed to Canterlot was stacked. But seeing as the workers that helped them haul everything in had no idea of how the system worked it was very possible that the bundle of cloth had been placed in the wrong box. Over each confinement area there was a small window to help the workers see better, and along with the huge doors that stood wide open as they worked, it gave sufficient light. Dust particles could be seen in the light as it dropped down from the support beams that stretched over the roof.
“There you are,” Caramel said to himself as he spotted a yellow bundle in the corner of the storage area that was assigned to Manehatten. He flung it over his back and hauled it over to the pyramid of crates they had stacked up, he placed it down on the side. Looking over with a satisfying grin he walked over to the checklist and checked the last item off. He ripped off the bottom part of the paper that was designed as a receipt to prove that everything was noted and placed in the correct area. He strapped on his saddlebag and headed out to the docks.
With a strong push, he locked the huge doors to the storage unit and huffed. He ran a hoof through his mane and stopped as he felt something entangle itself in it. Staring at his light brown hoof he saw a cob of spider web stuck on it, and now probably in his mane as well. He quickly walked over to one of the windows on the unit and tried to see if anything was stuck on the brown of his mane. Finding nothing he smiled and leaned a little closer staring into his own blue eyes before he nodded and headed towards the office of the dock master. His coat was damp from sweat and glistened in a sheen as the salt in the air lay itself on him.
The docks were teeming with life on days like this; the sun warmed every inch of Manesail city and the sky had no clouds hindering the vision to the deep blue color of it. Along the edge of the docks towards the city, there was a wall of houses. Most of them belonged to different merchants, having the first floor as a way to trade their goods and the second floor as a living area. The wares that were traded along the docks ranged from exclusive cloth to rare gems, and restaurants covered some of the spots, all having a different specialty. Caramel had noted that the ‘Gilded Seahorse’ often had the most customers, he had never tasted the food they served, but he heard some very good things about the deep-reef seaweed they produced into meals there. And from the looks of it many agreed with that notion, seeing as today it was packed to the limit with customers.
The road traveling past the houses edged to the docks; the wooden boards stretched out over the water creating confines which the small common boats could pull in and tie up. As usual on days like this it was almost empty, just two boats left docked. On the opposite side the work docks was settled, this side had two parts to it, one where the small pram boats could come in, and a side where the huge cargo ships could anchor up and unload. The storage unit was close to this side, which usually gave the cargo a short way to be moved, unless it was some sort of special delivery to one of the merchants, then it was needed for one of the dockers to guide the shipcrew up to the correct store and get a signed receipt from a merchant to deliver to the dock master.
Caramel smiled as his hooves clacked over the padded boards, and the sun caressed his coat keeping it warm as the day passed. The waves clunked into the docks, drenching them in a salty liquid while spraying a thin mist into the air. The mist entwined itself in the gusts that flew over the open field at the docks, gently merging itself on to the coat of the workers, giving them that distinct smell. He took a deep breath, the salty smell reminded him of his uncle’s barn. He spent a few summers there, and eventually he got his cutie mark from the work, three silvery horse-shoes shone on his flank. Caramel didn’t want to spent the rest of his life in a barn, so he sought out the only place he could get that refreshing salty smell while working manually, the only downside of it was how far away from Ponyville he was, so he rarely got to see his friends and family as often as he liked to. The work environment on the docks was great so he survived with the short trips he managed to take during some of the days he had off. And next week he had vacation so he would spend it at his mother’s house in Ponyville.
Ever since the death of his father he tried to get home as often as possible, but sometimes it was too much to do on the docks for him to take extra days off. At times he wondered how his brother and mother handled it all back in Ponyville when he wasn’t there as they seemed okay from what he could tell when he visited.
The dock-master’s office was a small hut erected at the very corner of the working area, a little higher off the ground so he could oversee the shipment that arrived during the day. It was a simple square construction with windows on all sides; the walls still had the natural wood color, only painted with a thin layer of clear paint to preserve it against the salt in the air. The door had been made from driftwood washed up on the docks, giving a mushy green moss cover at placed entwined together with dried seaweed. The dock-master had said something about the door giving the office the look of a right sailor. He apparently was alone with that thought as snarky comments had flown quickly around in regards to his choice in design.
Reaching the office Caramel knocked loudly and was greeted after a few seconds by a grunt that only could be taken as come in. The huge door creaked loudly as he pushed it open. The insides of the office had the same wooden color as on the outside; and grey tiles covering the floor. All around paper was hung up on the walls with colored needles; the important papers were confined to a big board behind the desk of the dock-master. The desk itself had a dark brown color and crudely designed engravings on the surface, it covered most of the office in length, barely giving any room to walk by to sit down behind it.
The dock-master had a light gray mane, a pearl-white handlebar mustache and one bright yellow eye. The other eye he had lost in an accident many years ago and always kept it shut. As Caramel entered, the dock-master stared intently at him while reaching out a light brown hoof, awaiting a piece of paper to land on it.
Knowing that the dock-master was one for hasty solutions and preferred not to waste time Caramel quickly stuck his snout down into the saddlebag and pulled out the note. The brown stallion gave a quick nod, then he turned to exit the room, stopping as he heard something coming from his boss.
“This came for you today with some nutjob of a Pegasus, I swear to Celestia, one time you have to tell me where you find your friends.” The dock-master said as he slid a roll of paper over to Caramel.
Caramel’s heart sunk in his chest as he saw the official seal of the Ponyville hospital stamped on the paper.
*~*~*~*
Caramel cracked his eyes open, slowly scanning the room he had fallen asleep in. The deep blue walls of the living room had a sliver of light on them from the night’s moon that intruded through the big window. On the wall furthest away from him hung a picture over a fireplace; next to it a few candles burned to nothing. Light-grey tiles covered the floor from end to end with a miniscule amount of furniture placed on top; a shelf in the corner and a big black chair which the light brown pony had fallen asleep in.
He let out a groan as he stretched. A loud clack went through the room as a set of hoofs hit the rocky surface of the tiles. Caramel made his way towards the window and rubbed a hoof in one of his eyes as he looked out. Stars were easily visible on this night along with the moon. Between the gusts howling over the plains, he could hear the creaking in the trees of Everfree forest while the creatures of the night slinked and prowled through it. Lately there had been an increase of Timberwolf sightings, hinting that the population of it was in a boom. A frightening thought for many.
Caramel shuddered, One of these nights… great time to be awake I guess. He started to make his way towards the fireplace. The gaping black hole in the wall were encircled with a red type of bricks, the soot clinged to the wall like dust to a wet surface. It was rarely used and often gave more trouble than anything once a breath of wind snuck itself into the room. The wind will die down soon I hope, last thing I need today is a storm. He quickly thought to himself.
Upon passing by the fireplace he halted; looking at the picture framed over it. In the picture Caramel stood together with his family; a bright yellow mare smiled at the camera while holding her hooves around a dark brown stallion with a flaming red mane. At Caramel’s other side stood his half-brother Stix, a blue Pegasus with brown hair. The picture was taken on a trip down to Las-Pegasus during the last summer they all were together.
Caramel rose up on his hind legs and stroked a hoof over the picture feeling the blank slippery surface. It’s been a long time since I have seen their smiles… he thought while his lips tugged back into a rueful smile. His eyes shifted slightly to the side looking intently at the yellow mare in the picture. Especially yours, Mom...
He entered the kitchen and yawned while he aimed his way to the stove. The kitchen was of bland design, gray tiles on the walls with light wooden shelves. The bench was made out of brown hardwood and had numerous wounds in it as a token from many years of use. In the corner away from the bench stood small corner table with brown sitting pillows scattered next to it; they were placed under a huge window with a view towards Ponyville so one could see the town come to life in the morning.
Finding a kettle, Caramel filled it with water and placed it on the stove that stood on the end of the bench with an annoyed grunt. He drew forth the coffee that was tucked away in one of the drawers, and placed it readily on the bench together with a cup. Leaning close to the blank surface of the kettle, frowning at the sight; deep bags of dark fur had grown under his eyes after many sleepless nights.
He jolted up as the high pitched whistle from the kettle bored itself through his skull. His heart beat hard in his chest while he poured the content over in his cup and sat down at the table with a sullen swear. The table was riddled with different drawings and doodles he did during such nights as this, as the time had passed he gained a certain amount of skill at drawing and started to save his doodles instead of burning them. He took a loud sip of coffee, picked up a small pencil and started to drag it over a blank sheet of paper with a slight smile.
Time quickly passed while sitting like that, sipping happily from the ‘black gold’ as his brother used to call it, and creating some random doodles on his sheet of paper. The only interruption was from the occasional blink from a lightning bolt and the rolling thunder sounding like stones tossed around in a metal barrel. Water hammered down on his roof in a barrage, the sound from it became easy to ignore after a short while, it became a lingering buzz in his mind.
The sun gleamed through the window hitting the paper with a bright glare. Taking a look outside he saw the dark clouds traveling away over the mountains, opening the sky to welcome a new day. Letting go of a sigh Caramel stood up and placed the cup on the bench as he passed it and headed outside through the kitchen door. On the way he grabbed the light blue saddlebag that hung on a hook on the wall next to the door, he held it up with a smile, the bag had been a parting gift from the dock-master and was given to him along with the promise of a job if he ever would return to Manesail. He slung it over his back, tightened it slightly and made for the door leading out.
With the clack of a shutting door behind him he raised a hoof to fend off the morning glare and letting his eyes adjust. A careful smile drew itself over his muzzle as he noted the small chirps from birds that had emerged after the storm last night died down. The rays from the sun danced on the small puddles like mulitcolored diamonds playing in the small ripples from the occasional Gerridae that would fleet on the glimmering surface. Over the watery holes small water-bugs danced joyfully, seeking partners for their offsprings that would bring torment to a poor pony in the future. Down the hill a thin layer of mist was draped over the grass stretching all the way down to Ponyville where he could see the residents buzzing to life, getting ready for a day of hard labor or something entirely different.
The walk from his house to the town took no more than a couple of minutes, a ripple of delight went through his body as the morning dew from the grass clung onto his hoofs, embracing them like a cold glove. Upon reaching Ponyville he stopped by the flower shop and bought a bright yellow tulip, he gently put it in his saddlebag and continued onwards to the foal-hospital. From the rooftops he saw water dripping down, landing in murky puddles which foals seemed to take great pleasure in jumping into. Much to their parents annoyance he quickly gathered from seeing the happy grin under a muck covered coat. On the way he crossed the path to the school just in time to see the many foals arrive for today’s class, many scurried along eagerly to start the new day, while some others - often a little older- walked in a slow tired pace with their mouths stretching into a long outdrawn yawns.
The hospital towered up like a white concrete giant over the plains at the outskirts of the town, seeing it put a gentle smile on his lips, today he was going to spend the day with Sundrop, a foal that had lost her ability to walk with her hind legs after an accident when she was just a newborn. Caramel admired that even then, the filly never stopped smiling when he was around, and today the time he would spend with Sundrop would be much needed he quickly reasoned with himself.
After Caramel had moved back to Ponyville he had gained a job at the hospital through an old friend of his father. At first they had been very unsure about having him there as his cutie mark didn’t really imply that he would be good with taking care of children, and admittedly, Caramel shared the same skepticism about it. After some time it became clear that even with the lack of a cutie mark that said so, he was good at this job.
The hospital had originally been a bland white square building with a bright red roof and windows scattered over the walls. But after seeing that many of the foals enjoyed drawing Caramel had convinced the boss to let a few of them paint the walls with figures they had drawn on paper. Not only was the process of painting it all a very fun experience for both foals and employees, but the building gained a personal touch that couldn’t really be matched by anything else.
He stopped as he reached the door and took a few steps to the side of it, staring intently on a drawing made by Sundrop. It was a crudely painted picture of him and Sundrop sitting under a big oak tree. His eyes wandered to the top of the painting and smiled while he dragged a hoof through his mane and chuckled slightly, to reach that high the filly had to sit on his shoulders, she had become so happy when she was done that she dropped the bucket of red paint all over Caramel, causing him to shave off all of his mane to get the paint away. He shook his head with a grin, even as fun as it was, he hoped that he never would go through the process of getting that paint out of his coat and mane ever again, his skin had been sore for many weeks afterwards.
The insides looked like a mix between a foalgarden and a hospital – which it incidentally was – the play areas had toys of different kinds scattered around all over the floor inside a confined area. while the outside of it was almost sterile. Apart from the toys the main difference between the two areas was a rug placed on the white and gray tiles on the floor, the walls had bright colored paintings just like the ones outside with a white color underneath.
In the far end of the room a pink mare with a white gown stood and talked to a filly sitting in a wheelchair. As Caramel approached them the mare turned, her eyes were bright green and her mane was light yellow with chestnut brown stripes in it. Her cutie mark was a red cross with a baby rattle over it. Her eyes shot up as she saw Caramel approaching her.
“Caramel! What are you doing here? I told you to take the day off.” Tender Heart said as her brow furrowed at him in a gentle arch. “I was just telling Sundrop here that you wouldn’t be able to come today.”
“Caramel! You came!” Sundrop bellowed with a shrieking voice.
He looked behind Tender and saw Sundrop beam up towards him. The filly had a bright yellow coat and a mane of deep orange; her eyes were green like the clearest emeralds. Caramel smiled at the filly before he turned to Tender Heart.
“You shouldn’t have done that, I know today is special, but that does not relieve me from the promise I made to Sundrop.” He said with a goofy grin plastered over his face.
Tender Heart put a hoof to Caramel’s chin and looked at his eyes, “You look awful! You haven’t slept again; you really should have stayed home today.” She said while shrugging lightly with her head.
Caramel pushed her hoof away and tried to suppress a yawn, “Relax, I’m fine, really… I am.” He said as his grin turned to a careful smile and continued, “Now I made a few plans for Sundrop today, so if you don’t mind..?”
Tender leaned forward, almost touching him with her nose and glared, “You’re out of here after lunch, you hear me?!”
Taking a step back, Caramel blinked at the sight of his boss this close.
Tender turned with a smile and said, “You two have fun now,” She blinked at Sundrop. “today Sundrop, Caramel might need somepony to look after him a little, you make sure to do that, okay?”
Caramel and Sundrop both looked in bewilderment as Tender headed to her office. A click could be heard as the door was opened then shut tight. Caramel smiled and turned to Sundrop, taking place behind her and started pushing her forward. As the door leading out slid to the side, a yell bellowed through the room.
“Tender behaves so strange when you’re around, Caramel. I think she likes you.” Sundrop said while trying to suppress a teasing giggle.
Caramel poked his hoof in Sundrop’s mane and said, “Aren’t you a little too young to be thinking like that?”
Releasing a loud outburst of giggles, Sundrop quickly retorted. “Nu-uh, I think you would be great together!”
“Listen here young lady, Tender and I just hav-” Caramel started started to respond in a mocking tone.
“Caramel! That wasn’t a request, it was an order!” Tender bellowed loud enough to rattle the lights that hung in the roof as the sound bounced off the walls.
Waving a hoof backwards in dismissal he continued to walk out; in the short time since he had arrived the foals of the hospital had woken to life. Out on the hospital yard he saw a group running around playing tag, giggling loudly as they tumbled through the lush grass. On the other side of the garden sat another gathering listening intently as a teacher made sure they didn’t fall too far back on their studies. Caramel smiled ruefully, he had adjusted to his new life a long time ago, still, even on days like this he found himself missing his old life, free of worry and responsibilities.
He snapped out of his thoughts by the gentle hum from in front of him, looking down he saw the orange mane of Sundrop bobbing side to side. His smile turned to a grin, But there are things I really wouldn’t go without anymore. He quickly thought while the cobble crunched under his hoofs.
Caramel ruffled her mane, “Since we got to cut it short today, what do you say to going straight for the oak? I’ll take you to the fountain another day, I promise.” He asked.
Receiving a quick nod as an answer he smiled and swerved right, heading toward the big oak tree located between the Apple family’s farm and Ponyville. Passing through the town, ponies gave them a smile often followed by a simple nod. Everypony were familiar with the foals from the hospital coming to visit, either with their parents or a caretaker like Caramel. Sometimes they came over and talked with the foals that were together with a nurse, because they knew that those foals either had parents living out of town or were orphans.
Caramel swallowed lightly, Sundrop were considered an orphan by many since her parents had not given word from them in many years; the last time they had been seen was the week they traveled home after dropping Sundrop off at the hospital. From what Caramel had heard she had kept a journal counting the days till she would see her parent again, but even after a year had passed, they had not showed up to visit their foal. And after that the little yellow filly had completely shut herself in, sitting all day in the wheelchair close to a window.
Caramel had often reasoned with himself that it was because of this he decided to take extra care of her. It had taken a year, but he eventually managed to make her smile. A smile he concluded, that was as much his own as it was hers, the sincere smile of happiness that he longed for himself. He had laid awake many nights thinking of why her parents never came to visit. One day he decided to investigate a little and found out that her parents was very much alive and well in Canterlot. After that discovery, he conversed with Tender and decided to send a letter. He sent multiple letters gaining no response. And when he finally got an answer from them, he was told to leave them alone and that they had no foal named Sundrop.
The great oak soared up over them, reaching for the sky with its long green timber arms growing steeper as they closed the distance towards it. Sundrop’s reaction was always one of amazement when they reached this tree, almost like it was the first time she saw it each time. Caramel had grown to gain a strong sense of respect for this filly; her way of approaching life was so different from his, even when he had told her about what he had found out about her parents, she had refused to be broken down. Sometimes he thought the information about her parents hit him harder than her, but surely that was just a filly playing brave for those around her, he reasoned.
They placed themselves underneath wooden giant in its cool shadow, the grass was ice cold compared to the hot air, causing shivers to ripple through Caramel’s back. He gently stroked the green strains next to him and smiled softly as it tickled on his coat. His eyes traveled around the area, content seeing that nopony else was around. He saw Sundrop leaning down from her chair attempting to touch the grass, barely not long enough to gain what she wanted.
Caramel rose up and made his way next to her as he smiled, “Do you want to sit on the grass?” He asked.
Her clear green eyes beamed up at the question, “It looks so nice! Can I really?!” She answered with a squeak.
He nodded quickly and leaned down; he placed her hoof around his neck and gently lifted her out of the chair. Carrying her on one hoof with hers wrapped tightly around him, they shifted through the soft grass towards the trunk. He placed her down as careful as he could with her back leaned against the tree. Caramel smiled while watching the filly run both her hoofs through the dew covered cool ground.
Sundrop’s hoofs stopped and she turned to look at the stallion, “Caramel… don’t stop smiling.”
Noting the sad tone in her voice, Caramel quickly sat down next to her and laid a hoof on her shoulder. “What do you mean? I smile all the time.” He quickly responded.
Her eyes looked outwards over the green hills between them and the Everfree forest, “You smile when you’re around me… but sometimes I see the same smile my parents had. It’s a sad smile, and soon that will vanish as well. I have seen it happen with my parents… they stopped smiling before they brought me here. One time I saw you walk home from the hospital, you didn’t smile.” She paused and fiddled with her hooves before she continued with a laden voice. “And if you stop smiling, you will leave like they did. I don’t want to be alone again, so please don’t stop.”
Caramel swallowed hard, “I will never leave you; no matter what happens I will be around when you need me, that’s a promise.” He said while gently touching Sundrops nose with his hoof.
“Don’t make promises you won’t keep, I know you don’t really want to be here in Ponyville with me.”
“What makes you say that? Why would I leave? I have my family, friends and a house here.” Caramel answered with a bewildered look drawn upon him.
“Tender told me that you moved back here because something happened to your mom and that was the reason you wouldn’t come today.” Sundrop said while boring a hole in the ground in front of her with her eyes.
Caramel swore silently to himself before patting Sundrop on her back, “She shouldn’t have said that…” He sighed, and then continued, “it’s true though, I didn’t want to be here at first, it was something I had to do.”
He leaned back and rested on the trunk next to Sundrop and closed his eyes, his mind was racing over to how much he could tell her. There were certain things that a foal at her age shouldn’t hear, or could understand for that matter. But on the other hoof, she had been through much herself; maybe she could understand a certain amount. Feeling a nudge on his shoulder he cracked his eyes up and looked into a set of gleaming emeralds staring at him glistening softly from a film of moisture.
He smiled, “But you know, it’s not like that anymore, my mother is healthy enough to take care of herself now. Granted… my brother is still sick, but he has Lavender to take care of him, he doesn’t need me-”
“You’re wrong!” Sundrop shouted at him, “Your brother needs you, cause if he doesn’t you will leave like my parents did and I will be left alone again!” A tear trickled down her cheek as panic rose in her voice.
Caramel pressed his hoof onto her chin and wiped the tear away, “But I’m not leaving Sundrop, I could never leave you like they did.” He said as gently as he could.
“But don’t you want to be happy?” Sundrop quickly asked.
Caramel nodded, “I do, but I don’t think I would be happy even if I moved back there, I would leave too much behind here.” He smiled towards her. “One of them would be you.”
“But why won’t you smile sincerely then?” She murmured.
“I’m just tired, nothing more, due to certain things I’m just exhausted. It will go over soon, and when it does I promise I will smile sincerely for you.” He quickly answered.
“You promise?” The filly said while arching one of her brows up.
Caramel nodded, “Yes, just give me a little time.”
Seemingly content with his answer, Sundrop went back to running her hoofs over the grass, humming a soft tune while she did. Caramel leaned back and closed his eyes as he listened. For him, the tune she made was relaxing; nothing really could compare to her gentle voice. As a gust swept over the vast green landscape around them, dancing over the grass like waves. The fickle sound of leaves dancing in the wind joined with the chipper of small birds, together with Sundrop’s voice he felt himself drifting closer and closer to a much needed nap.
After what seemed like a blink of an eye, he was awoken by a nudge on his side. Opening his eyes he stared right into the little filly’s emerald gems; he let go of a yawn, rubbed a hoof in one of his eyes and smiled dozily. The shadow they sat in had shrunk as the sun had moved upon the cloudless sky in a place straight above them. The wind had picked up from small gusts to hurls, making it seem like the grass on the fields move like calm waves on a watery surface.
Sundrop beamed at him, “Time to wake up, I’m hungry! That means it’s lunch, and you know what Tender said!”
Caramel chuckled, “I guess you’re right, time to get back, although… five more minutes wouldn’t hurt.” He answered while laying his head back and closing his eyes.
Puffing her cheeks up, she yanked his forearm. “No, you’re supposed to get home and relax now. Orders are orders!”
With a dramatic motion he stood up and stretched before he turned around and lifted Sundrop up in a cradle like hold. Her hoofs slung around his neck as he held her up. Walking on three legs, he made his way over to the wheelchair and sat her in it.
I wish I could do that Sundrop, but sometimes things aren’t that easy. He thought while he pushed her back to the hospital.
The gentle chirps from birds nestling in the oak tree was replaced by loud barks from dogs together with a buzz from the abundance of ponies that were out in the sun. They neared the huge white building towering next to the road; Caramel rubbed his hoof over the warm spot on his crest, the sun was blazing at this hour. Reaching the outer area, he pushed her to a bench and sat down next to her with a smile.
“I bought you this today, Sundrop.” He said before sticking his muzzle down in the saddlebag, pulling out the tulip.
Sundrop grinned as she saw the flower, quickly taking it and putting it under her nose holding it ever so gently between the tip of her hoofs. “It’s so pretty, and smells so nice, thank you!” She said while leaning forward to give him a hug.
Caramel smiled, “I had to buy it when I saw it and the color is just like you, beaming and strong.” He quickly rose, “But now I have to go, you can make it in from here can’t you?”
She nodded at him, “Yeah, no problem, see you soon!” She said in quick retort.
Take it as an apology, Sundrop, I still have something to do before I can keep my promise, somepony to make understand how it has been the last years. But the question is, are they strong enough? He thought to himself as he walked down the road away from the hospital.
The road seemed heavier than it had been in a long time, his steps were weighted down, scraping the cobble that riddled the road, stirring up dust as he walked. Misty thoughts began to cloud his mind like a blanket of fog laying itself over a pristine lake, he barely noticed how far he had come when he stopped to look around. The water from the fountain trickled next to him, breaking the hum of the daily lives from the town.
Sighting a store dedicated to different brews his muzzle tugged into a smile. It had been a little while since he had seen his brother, and reasoned a bottle of Stix’s favorite Zap Apple Cider would do well. After a quick chat with the store owner, he made a purchase of the dark colored drink. He looked at the dark rainbow that swirled inside the bottle before he put it into his saddlebag. Caramel found it odd that his brother had taken a liking to the cider that could only be made down in Saddle-Arabia, the lack of water made the taste much stronger and refined than the normal one. He didn’t know the details of the ripening like he did with the Zap-Apples from the local Apple family, but he had heard stories of dusty thunderstorms along with the howls of dune-wolves was needed to make them ripe, amongst other things. While making his way towards the outer parts of the town, he stopped by the same flower store he bought the tulip from this morning and bought a bouquet of red roses for later.
He traveled down a swerving road leading south of Ponyville; the road was not traveled much by carriages or transport, making it thinner than other roads, with wild plants growing freely upwards before meandering on to sides. The green forest stroked his side while he shifted his hooves forward, tickling like somepony dragged a feather upon his coat. Caramel’s breath was heavy as he walked, not from exhaustion, but from the thought of what he was going to do weighed heavily in his chest.
He passed the cemetery, refusing to stop at this time, it would come for later tonight when he returned. Four years ago, this day had been a somewhat happy get together for him, Stix and their mother. Visiting his father’s grave, even how sad it was, it was still something he did look forward to before. It always felt good to sit together as a family, even with him gone, it felt like they were whole again. Caramel swallowed, for the last three years he had visited it alone. His brother either too sick to accompany him and his mother refusing to say the last goodbye.
A small gathering of houses could be seen in the horizon, it was a sub-village reserved for elderly or ponies that preferred a place that was little quieter than one would get closer to Ponyville. On the very edge he saw his mother’s house; it had a fading layer of red paint with moss covered window-frames. The grass on it had grown freely since last time he had visited, looking at it now, it seemed like the grass climbed for the clouds, using the walls as a ladder..
He stared intently at the door and breathed heavily, he wished with all his heart that these visits would be easy like a family visit should be. With a hesitant motion he knocked loudly, small intense barks could be heard from the inside almost instantly. A loud click came from the door and it creaked open. He smiled weakly as he saw his mother stand in the doorway. Her luminescent yellow coat had faded more since the last time he was here. Her face was drawn and had a tired look, bags of dark fur under her deep orange eyes, and huge wrinkles drawn along her muzzle. Her ocean blue mane had fringes of pearl white in them, tattered to all sides. In her hooves she held a small dog, no bigger than a cat, it had a light brown pelt and dark brown eyes.
Caramel chuckled slightly at the sight of the little dog fighting to get out of his mother’s hoofs so it could greet him. After a fight that was more of a squiggling around and flailing with his paws he finally got loose. The moment the dog landed on the ground, he leaped forward to Caramel. Standing up on his hind legs, pleading to be lifted up while he wagged his tail so much that one could think it would fall off.
It’s nice to see you haven’t forgotten me, Spot. He thought as he lifted the small dog up.
After the incident with his mother, Caramel had to take care of the dog as well. And from the looks of it, Spot had not forgotten the three years they spent together in this house, cleaning and playing. Being bombarded by licks over his muzzle, he looked up and noticed his mother giving him a tired smile.
“Hi Caramel, it’s been a long time, come in and I’ll make you a cup ‘o tea.” She said with a laden voice.
Caramel nodded It tires me to see you like this... he thought and put Spot down before he followed his mother inside.
The walls of the entrance had a dark grey color with green carpet with tiny red dots covering the floor; it was small but just enough room for a couple of ponies to get dressed or undressed at the same time. As he passed the door leading into the kitchen he stopped and ran his hoof over a dent in the wood of the door. Chuckling lightly as he remembered how Spot had tangled his leash on the ladder Caramel had stood on while painting, causing the whole thing to yank to the side when the brown dog spotted a cat and decided to chase it to the very end of the leash. Caramel had always been impressed by the sheer strength in the little dog’s body, seeing as Spot easily shifted the ladder away from under Caramel, causing him to lose balance and denting a huge rift in the wood with his brush as he fell.
The kitchen was bland, simple light wooden benches with abundance of drawers, along with white colored tiles on the walls, two huge windows that gave a great view out towards the forest at the side of the house, and the other one down towards the road leading to the house. The only thing unusual about the kitchen was the floor; it was laid with fine cut marble stones. Caramel had spent weeks getting it right when he lived here and was happy to see that it had been taken care of as the rocks shimmered lightly as if a thin layer of water was on top of it in the sunlight that came in through the windows.
He sat down on a light blue pillow next to the table that stood near the window aimed at the road, and watched while his mother arranged two cups and prepared the tea. She sat down on the opposite end of the table, and looked over at Spot who had decided to take a liking to the small gap between Caramel’s hind legs and pushed intently to get there. With a mocking shake of his head Caramel slightly opened his legs and let the dog lie down as it wished.
Caramel looked at his mother, Your mane have gotten weaker in color. “You look well,” he said with a smile, “everything going alright here? You need help with anything?”
She smiled faintly as her tired eyes rested on his figure. “No, everything is fine; you don’t need to worry about me.”
But I can see that you’re hurting… “Good, makes me glad.” He said while taking the tea-bag out of his cup.
He took a sip and felt the warm liquid travel down his throat. The tea tasted of wild berries and green herbs, Caramel smiled, just like before. He tried many times to replicate the tea his mother made with little success. Whenever he asked how she got that special taste, she would just shake her head and smile at him, often saying something about a mother’s secret.
Lately on his visits little would be said between them, short and concise conversations, just like it seemed it would turn out this time as well. Caramel looked over at his mother, who smiled back at him. There were a lot he wanted to tell her, to say to her, but never did. The fear of what would happen if he did was overburdening, what if he pushed back her progress? Or what if she did something to herself again? He swallowed; he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if it would happen just because he was tired. But he always left with a void swirling in his stomach from the things left unsaid between them.
He gently scratched Spot behind the ear and smiled. During his time of need, his greatest companion had been this dog. He always seemed to know when consolation was needed; there had been times when Caramel had woken up after almost fainting on the couch with Spot sticking his snout all the way up to his muzzle, with a tail going haywire. And he only did it when most needed, just like now.
“Heard anything from Stix today?” Caramel asked, still focusing on the small dog.
“No, He’s been very sick lately, he’s rarely out of the house now a days.”
“Yeah... the fatigue syndrome is really getting the best of him at times.” He answered absently. Caramel looked at his mother, knowing the futility in his words as he spoke them. “Have you been up at the cemetery yet?”
Shaking her head she answered, “No, I don’t think I will go today.”
Leaving me alone another year? “Oh? How come? Something keeping you busy?” He asked while gently petting Spot.
A tear pressed itself out from her eye and ran down her chin. “No… it’s just…” She paused and wiped away the tear. “I miss him so much, they say time heals all wounds, but I don’t know if that is true.”
You have to move on, it’s not only you, I lost my dad just as you lost your husband. “You can’t think like that, eventually it will.” He said while carefully balancing the cup of tea between his hoofs, taking a good mouthful of the warm drink.
“I’m not sure if I want it to.” She answered quickly.
You have to move on! “Oh? Why not? You can’t sit like this for the rest of your life, he wouldn’t want that. The one thing he wanted was for us to be happy.” Caramel reasoned.
“What if I forget him? If I go to the grave it would be like saying goodbye for the last time. I’m not sure I want that.” She said with a broken voice, “I miss him so much, sometimes I wish he could just walk up that road again, ready to greet me with that grin of his.”
It won’t happen, he’s gone, and you have to realize that. “We all wish that.” He said and emptied his cup. “Well, I got to go to Stix’s place, maybe he’s up for it today, and even if he isn’t I got his favorite cider right here in my bag.” He noted with a slight smile.
He lifted Spot up and sent him over the floor, causing the dog to look at him like he just poured a bucket of water over him to wake him up. He stood up and made his way out of the kitchen. He shiver went down his spine hearing a sob from his mother, no matter what situation it was Caramel had never been good at dealing with crying ponies.
“I’m sorry Caramel…”
Caramel turned around, seeing his mother sitting with her face buried in her hoofs, sobbing uncontrollably. He felt a jolt of despair rush through him while his mind screamed for a solution. “Don’t be, you have nothing to be sorry about, I will be fine, I’m used to visiting him alone now.” He said calmly.
She shook her head and looked at him with eyes dripping. “I’m sorry for what I did to you and Stix. I’m sorry for letting you take care of my house. I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me. I’m sorry for almost leaving Stix and you.”
I see that you’re still burdening yourself with guilt. “But you didn’t, you’re still here with us, and that’s what’s important.” Caramel offered, fighting back the lump that expanded in his own throat.
She sniffled and heaved for air, “You’re too kind… “
He sighed lightly, placed a hoof on her forearm and kneeled down in front of her. There are so many things I want to say to you, of how it has been for me since you tried to take your life... “Everypony can take on a little too much at times; don’t feel bad because of it.” He said while straining to put on a smile.
“A mother should never do such a thing to her sons, no matter what.” She said with a wavered voice.
But how can I tell you when you almost break down in guilt at the sight of me? He stroked his mother’s hoof and quickly offered. “What’s done is done, there’s no use grinding on it like this, you must move on from that.”
Shaking her head, she turned her watery eyes at Caramel. “How can I? You don’t think I can see how tired you are? How can I just ignore that?”
It’s true… I am more tired than I have been my whole life, but I won’t tell you that. I will reassure you that everything is fine, that you don’t have to worry about me. Just like I have done for the last three years…”I don’t have the answer to that, but it isn’t helping me or Stix that you hold on to this feeling. I’m fine, I really am, you just have to… smile again.” He said while slowly standing up.
Her lips quivered as she tried to stretch them into a smile. “You’re right as always, I will try my best.”
There are things I want to tell you… He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and smiled. “Good! I need to go to Stix’s place and ask him if he wants to join, I think I already know the answer, but I must ask anyway.”
That I often blame myself for what happened, would it have been different if I had been home? Would you have managed better with me around? But I can’t be blamed for wanting to move on with my life, can I? But those thoughts are for me...
His mother stayed in the kitchen as he made for the door leading outside. He stopped with a hoof resting on the handle as he hear short clicks from tiny claws behind him. Right in the middle of the room sat Spot staring intently at him with a set of big eyes. Caramel kneeled down and opened his hoofs, welcoming the dog to jump up to him. After a tummy rub and a pat on the head Spot happily walked back into the kitchen. Caramel pushed the door open and started making his way down the road. Reaching the crossroad he stopped and looked back at the house with a heavy sigh escaping his lips, feeling the void grow in his stomach once more.
Most of all I want to yell at you for doing what you did, but I won’t, because I know it won’t help either of us. I want to cry, but I can’t because I don’t know how you would react if you saw it. But most of all… I want to tell you how tired I am, how little I understood when you left me and Stix behind, how you could leave the two ponies you love the most like that. How vulnerable I felt when you came back, how alone I had been all this time, I hoped it would be like old times, but I realized when you walked up that road that it would never be like before. I want to tell you all that, I want to have a mother again. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid that if you understood how it has been for me you would maybe do it again. That thought terrifies me more than anything.
Stix’s house was no more than a short walk away, almost neighboring their mother. Feeling the pebbles crunch under his hooves Caramel noted that the air had gotten chillier; the sun was letting its warm embrace go, giving room for cold winds that nipped on his coat, threatening to bury itself into his core. In the distance he could hear the nocturnal beasts waking up in the Everfree forest, slinking and jumping through the trees making them creak loudly.
At the top of a hill stood a little white boxed house with dark green window frames, the roof had orange color and a red pipe spewing out smoke. The surrounding area was a thick forest with little sight inwards. It did however give some strange encounters at night if you for some reason decided to go outside then. One time Caramel had encountered a throng of bunnies running over the yard to the forest. Nearing the house he snarled, for some reason his brother had gone with a signal green door. The color was like serrated knives for the eyes if you looked right at it. From his hoofs came small clanks from the tiled road up to the house; looking down at it he still saw evidence of the work him and Stix had done. It had not been the brightest idea to combine detailed work with a case of cider. At the top where they had started it was lined perfectly, but the further down you went the clearer you could see the lines getting less and less accurate, evidence of more cider consumed.
Loud thuds echoed out as Caramel hammered them on the brightly colored door. After only a few seconds some careful stomping came from inside; a set of hoofs moved as lightly as possible over the wooden surface, only emitting out in silent clunks. The door handle jittered as somepony gently fiddled with it from the other side. A loud creak came, and a deep purple striped mane came to view.
“Caramel!” Lavender bellowed.
Taken aback from the sudden burst from his friend, Caramel almost fell back on his flank as the violet pony jumped around his neck. Lavender Breeze and Caramel had known each other since middle school, and four years ago, he had brought Stix and her together as a couple. Lavender had a light violet coat, her mane of deep purple with lighter stripes. Her eyes like luminescent blue gemstones. Her cutie mark was a set of blue flowers. He had always been quite fond of her, the way her eyes always welcomed a friendly face, even if it took some time to get to know the overly shy mare.
Caramel smiled, “Long time no see, Lavender.” He said as gently as he could.
Lavender took a step back and furrowed her brows slightly, “Way too long, you promised you would come and visit more often.” She hastily said.
Caramel nodded slightly, “Yeah, no excuse, I’ve just been busy.” He retorted.
Lavender stepped aside offering Caramel to come inside. The hallway had wooden boards in a dark color as floor with sandy colored panels on the walls. From the roof hung a chandelier in pristine glass, lighting up the room while creating tiny crystals on the walls.
“He’s sitting in the living room; he’s not feeling well today.” Lavender said calmly.
Caramel nodded. He walked through the kitchen and reached the living room. He turned around to say something to Lavender but saw that she had sat herself down at the table under the kitchen window. He turned and saw Stix sitting in a chair close to a big window in the living room of the house, Caramel smiled ruefully to Lavender before he made his way over to his brother. The walls were painted in a pearl white color, some lamps hung on the walls over a brown couch that was sitting in the corner opposite of the huge window. The floor was laid in light wooden boards with a roof that matched. Sitting down in the chair next to Stix, Caramel drew forth the bottle of cider he bought earlier on his way over and placed it on the floor.
Stix looked at the bottle and then at Caramel with a forced smile. “My favorite, thank you.” He said with a heavy voice.
Caramel smiled back and nodded, “I could hardly visit without taking a bottle with me, could I?” He paused and took a deep breath, “How are you doing though? It’s been a little while since I was here last. Any better?”
Stix looked at him, his dark brown eyes had huge bags of dark fur under them and his face had long drawn features. Caramel felt his heart plummet in his chest, he knew what the answer would be the moment he saw the eyes. The sickness came two years ago, slowly diminishing his ability to fly and function properly. The year before that he had helped out a lot with their mother, and stood by him like a brother should when it got rough. And the month before the virus struck he got married to Lavender, it had been the last time Caramel had seen his and Lavender that happy. His cutie mark, two drumsticks placed in cross, had given him much joy through his life. But now every little action made him tired and sick. And worst of all, he couldn’t play drums anymore and having to resign from his band had made him sink down into a depression.
“No, still bloody sick, still bloody tired!” Stix answered with a glare.
Caramel sat in silence, weighing his words. “You got to look at the bright side, Yo-“He started.
“What bright side?! I can’t do jack shit.” Stix snapped at him.
“But –“
“Just… don’t, it’s not like you would understand anyway, you’re not the one stuck on the ground. You couldn’t possibly understand what I’m going through.” Slipped cooly past Stix’s lips, sounding like poison to his very being.
You’re right. But it seems like you have shut out the thought of what happened to our mother, neglecting any thought of what goes on around you. “You’re right, I don’t. But I’m at least trying to help you.” Caramel said with strain pushing on his voice.
Turning to the window, Stix snarled. “Yeah, whatever.”
Caramel rose with a sigh and started to walk away. He knew that when his brother answered like that, it was no point in continuing the conversation. It would only anger Stix even more. He saw Lavender skitter away from the doorway as he turned. She sat down on a pillow next to the kitchen table just as he entered the room.
Lavender bored a hole in the ground with her eyes and said in an almost whisper. “I-I didn’t mean to eavesdrop…”
Caramel smiled and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about that, it’s a shame that he is in this mood today though, I wanted to ask him to join me at my dad’s grave, but it’s no use now.”
“I could try to talk to him if you want?” Lavender quickly offered.
Shaking his head, “No, no need, I don’t want to force him with me, I want to him to join me because he wants to as a brother and a son, not for a reason of guilt.” Caramel answered.
“Oh, alright.” She answered with a sullen whisper.
Lavender’s pelt glimmered gently in the early evening sun as she sat in the rays that shone through the window. Caramel moved towards her with eyes locked enraptured at the mare, her mane seemed smooth as the finest silk and the light danced playfully over it in a play of bright colors. He caught himself staring at her, thinking lightly that if angels existed, they were down here on Equestria hidden in the special somepony that was meant for each of us and Lavender was Stix’s. He couldn’t quite shrug off that thought even as he sat down at the opposite end of the table, being greeted by her gentle smile. Her kind stature was only betrayed by her ears that flopped unwillingly back. Seeing those ears he felt a stab of despair in his stomach, for as long as he had known Lavender, her ears had always been what told him how she truly felt.
“You know… if you had told me five years ago that you would go on getting married to my brother I would have scoffed at you.” The brown stallion noted with a humble tone.
Lavender giggled and placed a hoof over her muzzle, “Yeah, I guess you’re right, it’s not something we could see coming back then, I mean, your brother was such a tool at that time.”
“Yeah, he changed a lot since he met you.” Caramel answered with a throaty chuckle.
Caramel’s eyes landed on a plate of cookies placed in the middle of the table between them, he quickly grabbed one and threw it in his mouth. Feeling the crunchy, savory taste of salty chocolate and raspberries fill his mouth.
While chewing down the baked snack, he attempted to churn out a sentence. “Go u memeber bhen u gedbudded mhy…”
Lavender raised a brow at him and tossed a napkin over the table. “Chew first, and then speak!” She laughingly retorted.
With a crumby smile he swallowed the contents of his mouth and started over, “Do you remember when you head-butted my friend Spectty for stroking his feathers over your back?”
Lavender’s cheeks flushed into a shade of red rarely seen by any pony and huffed. “He had it coming!”
With a grin plastered over his face he answered, “Might be, but his face was priceless, he did not see that one coming.”
Lavender giggled slightly and grinned back at him. They continued to talk about their days together as teens, sharing a few laughs at each other's expense. In the corner of his eye he saw the sun slowly settling down over the backs of the mountains. He rose slowly and murmured that he had to go before it became too late while making his way to the hallway with Lavender following him to the door.
Placing his hoof on the door-handle, Caramel started with a heavy voice, “Listen… Lavender, I know my brother isn’t exactly all joy and flowers now, and he might give you a hard time.” He turned to face her, “And he might not want to tell you, I know, he’s weird like that, but he has told me. He loves you Lavender, and that’s a big step for him to admit that to anypony, even to his own brother. So please… don’t give up on him, I know he will get better soon. And when he does, I will get my brother back, and you will get the pony you fell in love with back.” Caramel gently placed a peck on her forehead, “I don’t think he will be able to do it without us, so please, don’t give up on him.”
The violet pony smiled softly at him, “I won’t,” Her face quickly shifted tone, she lowered her eyebrows and bored her eyes into him. “but how are you doing Caramel? You never speak about that, you only ask about Stix and me.”
I don’t want to burden you with how I’m feeling; you have enough with my brother. “I’m fine, just a little tired.” He said with a strained smile.
Lavender shook her head, “No you’re more than a little tired, I know you want to help everypony with this, but you have to take care of yourself as well, before it goes too far. Promise me that, okay?”
Caramel had opened the door and leaped outside before she could finish the sentence. “I’m fine, there’s no need to worry about me.” He bellowed back at her.
He shuddered as the cold wind nipped at him; the sun was slowly vanishing over the mountain teeth. With a fluid motion he drew forth a brown padded cape from his saddlebag and quickly tied it around his neck. The cemetery was placed between Ponyville and the small outer village where his mother and brother lived. He started to make his way onwards over the cobbled road once more. feeling the frosted pebbles scattered on the road under his hoof, making the crunchy sound more dampened.
Seeing the cemetery drawing closer he saw the tiny square building nestled on the ground close to it; the house had a bright red color with white windows. Caramel had always thought it looked too much like a barn to be at such a place, but it seemed to make the ponies feel more comfortable, so he had figured it was for that reason. Cast iron fences surrounded the area where the tombstones were confined, it almost gave it a medieval look with spiked curls at the top of the pikes.
The ground crunched as he stepped off the beaten path, the grass looked like a blanket of frozen crystals carefully laid over the rows of natures green blades, glittering brightly with a multi-colored splendor as the last rays struck upon them. The stones placed here were all different in sizes, color and how well they were taken care of. Caramel passed by several of them that were covered in a thin layer of untouched green moss; he sometimes stopped to read the names and the text engraved in them from their beloved ones. Never really thinking much other of it other than he thought it was a shame for those that had passed on to be forgotten in such a way.
A lump grew in his throat like an expanding balloon, stinging as a needle every time he swallowed as he neared a huge white stone at the very end of the confined area. Carefully packing his cloak under his flank he sat himself down on the iced grass in front of the stone. Caramel leaned forward and breathed heavily onto its surface, melting away the frost covering the inscription engraved delicately into the stone.
‘Here lies Lucky Clover, a proud father of two sons and a loving husband. You were taken away from us too early and you will never be forgotten’
He gently took out the bouquet of roses he bought earlier and placed carefully on the ground before the stone. He adjusted them a little to make sure they lay just right. Caramel had stopped worrying about being alone on this day, he started to look forward to them in some degree, it let him do something he couldn’t do on a normal day and release some of the tension pent up over time.
He took a deep breath, feeling the knot in his stomach loosen its grip. “Hi, Dad... I’m sorry I haven’t been here for a while.”
The wind tufted his mane to the side and grabbed a hold of his cloak, making whiplike sounds as it fluttered wildly. Following the twilight hour he heard the bone jittering howl from the Timberwolves getting ready for the nights hunt, the cemetery was too far away from the forest for him to worry about the beasts. With a shudder he packed his coat closer to his body, hindering the cold air from burying itself into his core. The lump in his throat grew to a bursting point, feeling like spikes on the inside.
A sigh escaped his lips creating a white cloud in front of him. “Mom is doing fine, all things considered. Spot keeps her company, but she still miss you. She always sits at the kitchen table looking down the road, waiting for you…” Caramel said feeling the tension build up in his throat.
He felt pressure building up behind his eyes; he tried swallowing the lump in his throat, with little success. “But… she has not been the same since the incident, every time I come to visit, it seems like she has
Feeling a tear trickling down his cheek he swiped it away with his hoof. “I visited my brother today as well, Lavender takes good care of him, he’s lucky to have found her… any stallion would be. But I still fear for him, whenever I come to visit, he’s tired and angry. I think his sickness wears him down, and he wants to help me with mom, I know he does, but he just can’t, he’s too tired.”
He clenched his teeth together, feeling the lump in his throat vanish, being replaced by tears flowing freely. His voice broke and wavered while he spoke. “What I’m trying to say Dad, I’m tired too… everything was so much easier with you around, I fear if I let my mask down around mom and my brother it would break them.” He sniffled and heaved for air and continued. “I know I should talk to them, but how can I tell them that they have been burning me down for the last few years? How do I tell them that I soon have nothing more to give? I can’t help them much longer…”
He chuckled erratically. “You would have laughed at me for sitting like this, I mean, I don’t expect an answer from you. But here I can let some of it out; I don’t have to pretend that I’m okay, I don’t have to do it for anypony. Sitting here alone I can... cry.”
e ran his hoof under his muzzle, feeling each fiber of his body shake in tact with his heaves for air. “I miss the old times, I miss my mother and I miss the brother I once had, I miss you, Dad.”
“We all do.”
Caramel jolted together turning around to meet Stix’s stare. He quickly faced the stone again and desperately tried to stop the water that ran down his cheeks. He stomped his hoof down on the ground and swore at himself. The brown stallion pressed his eyes together tightly in a last feeble attempt to stop the sobbing. He heard Stix sit down next to him with a heavy intake of breath, shortly after a hoof embraced Caramel and squeezed him tightly.
Caramel squeaked between his sobs, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to see me like this.”
Stix rested his head on top of Caramel’s and spoke, “Don’t be. You shouldn’t need to pretend that you’re okay, nopony should.” The blue Pegasus sighed, “I’m the one that should be sorry. I truly am sorry for what I have done to you and Lavender, I just failed to see how you actually needed a big brother at this time, not another pony to worry about.”
Caramel nodded slightly, “It’s okay…”
Stix shook his head and placed a hoof on Caramel’s back, “No… I’m your big brother; I’m supposed to watch over you, not the other way around. I have neglected that for far too long.” He nodded backwards, “And thanks to my special somepony I realized that. I see now that it was about time I did.”
Caramel’s ear flicked as he heard steps behind him, the sounds of a pony walking through the crystallized grass barely audible. Feeling a hoof gently pressing on his other side he turned to see Lavender. Her smile was careful as always, but something was different, a hint of regret lingered in her stare.
“I’m sorry; I made him come here, even when you told me not to.” Lavender whispered.
A smile drew itself over Caramel’s muzzle, “Don’t be, you did the right thing.” He said, feeling tears stream down his cheek. “I…”
The violet mare nodded, “I’m glad.”
“What do you think he’s doing now?” Stix said.
Caramel straightened his back, removing himself from his brother’s grip, “I don’t know, but if there is an afterlife I bet he’s up there looking at us, making sure he knows when to greet us.” He said with a slight shake of his head.
“It’s a blissful thought, isn’t it? The thought of being together with your family even after your life has ended on this realm.” The blue pegasus offered.
“Yeah...” The brown stallion said absently.
Caramel closed his eyes feeling the last drop from his eyes trickle down his cheek. Inside he felt something like a click, opening a couple of floodgates. A warm feeling seeped from his center and slowly traveled to the very tip of his hooves. Relief washing over him like a flood.
With a smile emerging over his lips, he whispered. “Thank you for coming... I really needed this.”
Stix punched Caramel lightly in the shoulder, “No need to thank me, I’m the one who should thank you for taking care of our mother and me. You got to trust us to take care of you as well, even when you’re tired like this. We are family after all, we are stronger than you might think.” He said with a smile. “Now come on, Lavender made some dinner for us, time to stop being droopy. Tonight you’re sleeping over at our place.”
With a slight nod, Caramel answered. “That sounds great.”
Stix rose and walked up to Lavender’s side, gently placing a wing on her back. They stopped a few meters away, standing in the now dim light from the early night moon, waiting for Caramel to join them.
“You two go on ahead, I’ll join you soon.” Caramel quickly said.
“You sure?” Stix responded with a deep voice.
Caramel nodded quickly; and shortly after he heard the two ponies walk away. The winds increased in strength, whistling through the cemetery like it was playing on a flute. Hearing stones crunch under hoofs in the background he grinned; his thoughts finally shifted over to the good memories he had repressed all this time. How he and his brother, even with his sickness, always had a good time together at the evenings when he was feeling well. And even when at her lowest, his mother always tried to bring them together with a dinner of some sort.
And Sundrop, the filly meant something special for him, somehow she was an anchor for him in the difficult times. How he often found himself not caring about anything other than to make her smile; he could always think of himself later. He laughed audibly, maybe now he could keep the promise he had made to her. Even if it would take some time to get to that point, he could keep that promise.
“You know dad… I think it will be alright in the end.” Caramel sniffled, “I guess I had forgotten all the good times we had together between all the bad.” He whispered before he rose and started making his way after Lavender and Stix.
Author's Note
There are certain people in the community which I need to thank for helping me through this.
For helping me realize that I need to put more faith in my family and not take a burden which was meant for many, all on my own, I owe a thanks to my friend Trent A.
For helping me through the feelings which rose in the writing of this story, I owe much thanks to my dear friend Moxie.
I owe a big thanks to my friends and editors Slashawar and Arbarano, they have supported me through my writing and helped me push on.
Thanks to Lyingsmile15 for creating a cover image for this story and letting me use her OC.  
Same goes to Jayden “Stix” for letting me use his OC.
Thanks to Cylvr for creating an awesome musical piece for this story. http://youtu.be/ZUTFmid9k-A
And a big thanks to my friends at Bronynet for just being around and supporting each other regardless of their background.
If you want to read about the background for this story, please click here: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/163155/the-reason-i-became-a-brony-and-the-reason-i-started-to-write-again (https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/163155/the-reason-i-became-a-brony-and-the-reason-i-started-to-write-again)