Another Jane Doe

by Nobody of Importance

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 3471

A body shows up in the backstreets of Canterlot.

Another body shows up in the backstreets of Canterlot.

Published 2013-05-10 18:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-10 18:50:02 UTC

Rainy Days

“- and sorry to say folks, but this rain does not look like it’s going to let up anytime soon,” the radio crackled, echoing into the empty, rain-soaked street. A large brown hoof reached out and twisted up the volume, while a dull blue aura floated a mug of steaming coffee up to a matching brown pair of lips.

“But rest assured....” the gravel-voiced stallion grumbled, imitating the irritatingly cheerful weather pony. Snickering quietly, a light yellow stallion exited the small coffee shop and settled next to his bulkier partner. The smaller stallion waited for some sort of acknowledgment, but when none came, he sighed and tossed a damp strand of mane out of his eyes.

“- but rest assured that the Cloudsdale Regulatory Patrol is tracking this storm, and will locate the pegasus, or pegasi, responsible for this downpour. As a side note, we’d like to thank the small team of pegasi that volunteered to keep last night’s illustrious Canterlot Garden Party dry. Reporting for the Canterlot Newsdesk, this is Liquid Sunshine, signing -”

Click. The kitschy background jingle of PNN was cut short by the quiet drone of the police dispatch.

“You really don't like listening to the news, do you Bear?” asked the smaller stallion as he pointlessly shook the rain off of his cap.

“You really wanna ask that question, Cadet Signal Light?” retorted Bear, staring down his charge with his steely gaze.

“Of course not, Sergeant. Wouldn't want to get on your bad side.” Signal Light smirked and tried to look his superior in the eye. “Otherwise I'll end up like all those other cadets that you mysteriously lost.”

Bear snorted and took a large sip of his coffee, shaking his head. A small alert tone buzzed out of the radio, nipping the remainder of the conversation in the bud.

“Patrol Four, we have a burglary taking place at the Creme De La Creme Gallery, just had its grand opening, please respond,” came the tired voice of their dispatch mare, causing both stallions to sigh.

Several moments of silence passed with the stallions gazing out into the empty, rain-soaked street, both wishing that they were Patrol Four, rather than Patrol Three. Signal Light fidgeted with his hooves, eyes shifting to the Sergeant every few seconds, clearly biting his tongue. Bear grumbled a bit and stood up, holding his mug to the side.

“Before you ask again, rookie; No, I really don't like listening to the news,” Bear stated, looking down at the surprised cadet. “Those reporters think that as long as they finish up with a story about rescued puppies, everything is just fine and everypony’s day will be perfect. Bah...” Bear trailed off, lacking the steam required for a full explanation. He plonked himself back down, and swished his coffee.

Signal Light looked sideways at Bear, eyes thoughtful. He had never thought of it like that. Of course he watched the news for the feel-good stories, as well as the bad. He just liked knowing what was going on. Signal had another question for the sergeant, but was hesitant to ask, seeing how the last was received.

“Kid, I can tell you wanna say something, so just say it. You'll drive me crazier with all that twitching,” Bear mumbled with a sigh, staring down into his coffee. Signal opened his mouth to defend himself when he noticed that his hoof was tapping against the patio table.

“Well... I just wanted to ask why you never let me have coffee,” Signal asked, voice trailing off as he realized what he was asking.

With almost comical slowness, Bear turned to look at his cadet and raised his right brow.

“Please tell me you're kidding.” Signal shook his head. Bear exhaled. “Alright, squirt. Besides the fact I would end up behind bars for what I would do to you if you had caffeine, you know just as well as I do that we never know when we’ll get a call. We could be interrupted at any second -” Bear stopped suddenly, looking down at his radio to prove his point.

It buzzed quietly with static. Signal held back a giggle.

Bear held back from punching his cadet. Again. “Regardless, I don't want you getting yourself a drink and not being able to finish it and be-”

“Patrol Three, we need you back at the station, Code 12, ASAP, please respond.”

“- disappointed.” Bear sighed, setting his mug on the patio table. “Come on, rookie.”

Bear donned his cap and stepped out into the rain with Signal following on his heels.

“What's a Code 12, Sarge?” asked Signal, his voice taking on an uncomfortable professionalism.

“Take a wild guess.”

“Um. . . Public Indecency? We did have that Garden Party and all, so maybe some of the high-class ponies got kinda wild, and-”

“Kid, we got a dead one.”

***

The station, a large and rustic-looking brick building, stood at the end of a cul-de-sac. The windows were constantly lit with a warm yellow glow, which was stark in comparison to the still and polished inside.

Signal Light had always wondered, since he was just a little colt, what sorts of awe-inspiring superhero work went on in there. He had pictured that around every corner and in every side room there was a crime being solved, a criminal being charged, and a family being reunited. He had longed for just a taste of the wonders they conducted, and this sense of flawless justice was what had caused him to join the force in the first place.

When he’d been accepted as a cadet, he’d been let down immediately.

Taking a breath, he pushed open the large metal front door, holding it for the Sergeant. Straight after opening the door, boisterous laughter came bursting out of the building. Bear stepped inside, shaking his mane and cap free of water, and Signal did the same after pulling the door closed. A large group of ponies were gathered around one of the small tables in the waiting area. One rotund, off-white stallion - affectionately called ‘Butterball’ by the rest of the squad, for obvious reasons - continued his story.

“And so I says, to him I says, ‘Pal, I don’t think you’d even wanna bother running. I may not look it, but I,’” Butterball declared, puffing out his chest as much as he could manage, “‘am a lot faster than I look, and I’m sure that it will be real entertaining for all them ponies in the party you're trying to crash. So go ahead, make my day. Haven’t had a good chase in ages.’”

A wave of chuckles went around the table with the exception of a dark blue pegasus mare who sat sipping her lukewarm espresso. Her equally dark blue eyes were offset by a shocking white mane that was drawn up tightly into a bun. Her name, as far as Signal had heard, was Winterchill, but everypony called her Frostbite - again, for obvious reasons. She took a deep breath and the rest of the group quieted, waiting eagerly for another one of her famous one liners.

“Oh, Butterball...” she said softly, barely audible to the two stallions across the lobby, “You couldn’t even catch your own breath.”

The crowd erupted, Bear sighed, and Signal wondered just how that was funny. Shaking his head and whistling for his cadet, Bear trotted to the receptionist desk.

Tapping the polished wood of the counter lightly, he waited for the aging mare behind it to finish her small stack of memos. While still not old enough to retire, Note Scratch was showing the stress of her work. Lines worked their way across her forehead and on the edges of her eyes, and long streaks of grey coursed through her light pink mane.

Scratching out her signature on the paper she was working on, she looked up at the two over her large, gold-framed glasses.

“Well, you don’t waste any time. Excellent.” Note flicked her eyes back down, looking over her multitude of notes and memos, searching for one in particular. “Patrol Three... ah, you’re needed down in the Fridge. We’ve got a fresh one that needs your attention.”

“Thanks, Note. Say, how’d the bets go? Win any money at the track?” Bear said, walking past the counter and towards the back section of the station.

“No - I should have bet on Fleetfoot, like you said, T,” she said shortly, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Signal looked between the two for a moment before dashing after his Sergeant, hopelessly curious.

“...Sarge?”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I was gonna ask!”

“Yes, I do.”

“But that doesn’t answer my question!”

“You were going to ask about the ‘T’ thing, and no, you can’t know.”

“But my question was why she called you ‘T’, not if I could know.”

Moments passed as both stallions continued walking. Signal smirked triumphantly. Bear huffed, and tried to resist punching his cadet. Unsuccessfully.

As they approached the elevator, Signal rubbed his sore foreleg and hit the button with needless force, deciding that, in the future, he was going to refrain from questions involving his sergeant’s personal life.

“Kid, the button didn’t hit ya, I did. If it bugs you that bad, you can hit me back,” Bear said with a sardonic grin.

Signal Light let out a single chuckle and shook his head. “Sarge, one of these days you are gonna get a cadet that will take you up on that offer.”

“And on that day, I shall wear a tutu and dance with a goat.”

The elevator arrived as they finished their short laugh. They stepped in and tapped the basement floor button. Bear plopped himself down and stared at the number above the door with a sigh.

“Y’know kid, I remember when this place only had stairs. Lots of ‘em. Thank god we caught up with the times - I’m getting old in my bones.”

“Sarge, I don’t need to hear about your relations with your wife.”

The Sergeant once again unsuccessfully resisted punching his cadet.

“I deserved that,” Signal said with a grin as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

The basement floor of the station, primarily storage and evidence housing, was poorly lit, and always smelled of something foul. Signal hated coming down to the basement. Worse than that, he hated going to the large metal door at the far end of the basement. The one with simple black lettering on the door.

MORGUE

The walk across the basement was brisk and with purpose, there was no dilly dallying when Bear had a case. The sergeant pressed his hoof against a worn red button, which buzzed loudly.

“What do you want?” came a fast speaking voice amongst the static.

“Vi, it’s Bear and Signal. Note said you needed us. You could at least try and sound like you aren’t a gremlin who sleeps in a bodybag.”

“Oh, it’s you two.” The static on the speaker went dead. The basement was silent.

Signal was noticing a theme among the ponies who worked here; none of them were well-tempered or level-headed. Even Note had been known to have a mean streak. Signal stepped forward and pressed his hoof against the buzzer.

“Um, Vi, we really need to see what you are supposed to show us. Please? I’m sure you are dying to share the... details,” Signal said encouragingly to the silent buzzer.

The door clicked and swung inwards. Bear nodded simply in congratulations. He agreed with the rest that the kid’s superhero mentality was refreshing, but it could be dangerous, too.

Bright fluorescent lights shone within the Fridge. Several brushed metal tables were set in a row in the center of the room, and on the far wall were another set of metal doors. Signal shuddered at the thought of what was behind them.

Standing next to the nearest metal table was a pony that would cause anyones head to turn. Spindly legs, a faded grey-green coat, and a dusty, navy-blue mane that curled every which way despite the best attempts to pull it back made up their medical examiner.

Named Viable Inanimate - Vi for short - she was quite the character. Thick square glasses made her near-black irises look comically large, and the long white coat she wore wasn’t fitted properly. Signal was fairly sure she had a few screws loose upstairs, but Vi was one of the best in Equestria.

“Well then, I guess I’ll show you what we found with the body yes? Yes,” Vi muttered quietly, more to herself than the two officers. She stepped over to the table and flipped a small switch, turning on the spot lights above.

“So, this is all that we found at the scene of the crime. Well, minus the body, of course. That piece of work is over there,” Vi said, gesturing behind her at the wall of body lockers. Signal Light put his hooves up on the edge of the table, pushing himself up to look down on the objects.

“We have, if you will just confirm this so I can turn in this paperwork: One smashed and muddy florally-adorned straw hat,” Vi stated, eyes flicking up at Signal expectantly as she lifted a clipboard and pen in a dark maroon glow.

“Why exactly am I doing your job?” Signal looked over the table at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, fine, then, nopony ever agrees to help me do work I already have done...” Vi sighed, setting the pen aside. “Very well, I shall just tell you what we have. If that’s alright with you, of course - you are, after all, the officers, and I am just the humble Medical Examiner, I mean, it’s not like I’m important or could have this job at any other lab in Equestria and should really be demanding a raise if it weren’t for the fact that the outside is scary and I haven’t actually left my lab in nearly five months and that my house is probably full of all kinds of poisonous spiders by now that will surely escape and be caught and have their poison extracted for yet another murder that will appear on my table and thus lead me to have more work and not return home even though I don’t want to return home just yet or ever, really.”

Bear and Signal blinked in unison, staring at the doctor who had said the entire previous sentence without breathing, and still didn’t seem to need to.

“Um... Vi?” Bear said slowly.

Without warning, Vi took a loud and deep gasp of breath. “Yes?”

“Nothing, please continue.”

“Right. So, in order of discovery then.” Vi cleared her throat and stepped to the far end of the table. “We have: six various fabric flowers, muddy and damp; a large amount of glass shards, several of which are covered in blood; a completely shredded chunk of yellow fabric - which I assume was once a dress, considering the next object; and a smashed, muddy, yellow hat adorned with flowers and blue feathers.”

Signal looked over the objects and tried to see them as they must have once been; beautiful and radiant.

“Were there any signs of a murder weapon?” Bear asked, gazing over the shards of glass with scrutiny.

“This glass was used, but was not what killed the victim.”

Bear raised an eyebrow. “What killed ‘em?”

“The fall.”

Signal gulped and looked down at the table. He hated this part. He hated not being able to have done something, or not knowing if he could have done something. He joined the force to help as many as he could, and he was quickly learning that he couldn’t.

“Anyway, onto the main event? Follow me.” Vi walked briskly across the room, magically lifting her keys from the desk.

“You alright, rookie? This isn’t your first, you gotta stay tough. You can stay over here if you want,” Bear said, putting a hoof on Signal’s shoulder.

“You know me.”

“I do indeed. Come on, kid,” Bear said with a hint of pride in his voice.

Signal and Bear crossed the room slowly, avoiding making eye contact with Vi, whose hoof tapped impatiently against the tile. They approached and stood to the side as she opened the locker.

“Locker 12.” With a hard yank, Vi jerked the door open and pulled the rolling table out. The clang of the wheels stopping echoed through the room. Signal looked down at the table expecting the worst. Thankfully, Vi had thought of others long enough to toss a sheet over the body.

“As you can see - or would see if you were to look under the sheet - she has... been through a lot. Multiple broken bones, mostly ribs, but also both of her hips. She is covered nearly head to hoof in scratches - from the glass, I assume.”

Signal stared at the sheet, unable to look away as he mentally painted the wounds onto a mannequin to visualize. It was gruesome. Bear patted his cadet on the shoulder and gestured to the doctor.

“Come ‘ere doc, let’s discuss the details and let the cadet settle a bit.”

“Settle? It’s just a dead body. He hasn’t even seen all the blo-” Bear clapped his hoof over her mouth and drug her to the desk. Signal sighed, but didn’t move from where he was, still staring at the sheet.

His head felt like it was spinning. It was still hard to acknowledge the fact that this pony below the sheet was dead. They had had a life, a family, friends - pets, for all he knew. And now, they were just a corpse. His ears were ringing and he barely heard Bear talking with Vi.

“- and can we tell if she fell out the window or if she was pushed?” Bear inquired quietly.

“The glass was thick enough that if she would have fallen it would have only cracked, it wouldn’t have been enough force to go through. She had to have been pushed.”

Signal exhaled angrily. Someone had caused this, someone had taken this pony away. He gritted his teeth in anger. His emotions running high, Signal slowly pulled the sheet back past the bodies neck.

His eyes opened slowly - and deep down he worried that the body’s would, too - and looked down at the pony below. She, as he now knew she was, had to have been quite beautiful. Her coat, despite being wet and covered with mud, was a pure white. Likewise, her mane was matted and soaked with blood, but still held a vibrant purple hue. Despite his knowing better, he pulled a small stick from her mane and flicked it to the ground.

“Any witnesses?”

“It isn’t my job to find out, but no, there weren’t any. One of the the high society folks found her.”

Signal knew it. She was upper crust - surely, they would find the culprit swiftly. Everyone would know this mare, and they would be able to track her movements till that moment.

“You have already contacted her family, I presume?” asked Bear, placing a hoof lightly on the sheet.

“Of course not! Besides, that is also not my job,” Vi scoffed, looking nearly offended.

“Understandable, but someone needs to inform her family. Someone has to be looking for her.”

“Right, then. I’ll contact Note about putting out a bulletin. ‘Found: A young white unicorn mare, purple mane. Contact Canterlot Police Station.’”

The room was silent.

“We don’t know who she is?” asked Signal, appalled. His heart sank to his hooves. “How? How can we not know who she is?”

“Easy there rookie. This happens all the time. I know its hard and all, but -”

“She's high society! How can there be no one looking for her, or knowing who she is?” Signal yelled at the two, smashing his hoof against the metal doors. Bear approached him slowly, putting hooves on his shoulders and pulling him away.

“Easy, kid, easy... it’s gonna be okay. We will find something,” Bear assured quietly, even though they both knew that these cases rarely got solved. “Let’s go get something to drink, eh? Maybe some hot chocolate. We can worry about this in the morning.”

Signal exhaled through his teeth, relaxing slightly. Bear was right of course, they couldn’t go busting down doors of ponies who lived in the area in the middle of the night. Signal nodded and followed Bear to the exit.

Vi scratched her head and covered the body up again, pushing it back into the locker.

“I don’t see why you’re so upset,” she called across the room. “She’s just another Jane Doe.”