Griffin the Gaylord

by Signia

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Human
Length: 314

What happens when an emotionally unstable, melodramatic homosexual finds himself located in the land of his zoophiliac dreams?

Griffin F. A. Gott is just a lonely homosexual teenager, obsessed with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. So basically, he is like all 'bronies.'

… But worse.

Join Griffin on his adventures into the world of Equestria. Or don't. I have no f**ks to give either way.

Shipping and handling (hehe) included.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-09 23:45:36 UTC

Faggotry is Magic

Hello there. My name is Griffin Gott, and I have a problem.

I don't know how you are reading this, or why, but the fact of the matter is that you are, somehow, reading this. And because of that fact, writing this as a journal would be boring for you, my impromptu reader. Therefore, from here on out, this will be written as a story, even though this is all entirely real, and should be written as a journal, as I intended. I hope you are happy, because now I have to go through the effort of making my life seem entertaining, you ungrateful asswipe.

... I love you.

-The Gott Residence-

"Griffin get up here and stop being a faggot!"

"What?! I can't hear you!," I said.

"Turn down your fucking emofag music and get up here now!"

"OKAY MOM! GOD, YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!," Griffin responded.

I went upstairs to talk to my mother (whom doesn't understand me) and told her she is horrible and pointed out, again, that she just doesn't understand me. My dad then came over and beat me, because he doesn't understand me and secretly wants my dick up his ass.

"Son, I just want you to know that no matter how much of a faggot you are, I will always love you" said Dad.

"No! You just don't understand me, nobody does!" I yelled.

~BANG~

"No! My only son! I loved him so much!" said Dad.

"Good riddance," said Mom.

-Somewhere-

Where the fuck am I? What's up with all these clouds 'n shit? And is that a gate made of gold? It is too colorful, unlike my SOUL.

'Hello Griffin, welcome to Heaven,' said Jeebus.

"Awww hell naw!," I said.

'What did you just say? You just broke rule number One of Christian Heaven: Thou shalt not posses an opinion!'