Razzmatazz

by Thaums Alt

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Tragedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 419

Cadence has an unexpected visitor and has the time of her life.

Cadence has an unexpected visitor and has the time of her life.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-10 22:33:52 UTC

Razzmatazz

Cadence sat on her magenta mattress pondering about the events of today.

Just a few weeks ago, a thick fog appeared and covered Equestria, blocking out all sunlight.

Twilight couldn't use any of her magic. In fact, nopony could use magic. Applejack had to sell the farm. No plants were growing.

All of Fluttershy's animal friends had run away for no reason. At least, no reason anypony could think of. After all, surely they would all perish without anypony's help.

The Weather team couldn't move the fog. It seemed to cancel out all magic, rendering the sun stationary. Pinkie Pie was trying her hardest to keep the townsfolk of Ponyville happy. Just recently she experimented with different types of drugs, more specifically cocaine. Then all the townsfolk tried it and were entertained at all the bubbles and floating eyeballs they were seeing.

Rarity also tried the new drug Pinkie called "Pinkie Crack." She saw diamonds because Hasbro was lazy.

And now Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was locked in her bedroom, doing crystal meth hiding from the mob of ponies with the objective of overthrowing the Princesses. Not like she could do anything about it anyway.

Cadence looked up. Somepony was knocking. She looked down, then right, left, diagonal. I'm not telling you which diagonal. Cadence thought the pony knocking most likely would be the mob, wanting to repeatedly stab her. So she opened the door.

It was batman.

Cadence awoke hanging upside down. She looked around and saw her back legs tied to the ceiling somehow. She turned her head 360 degrees clockwise to see the culprits. Batman, Discord and Queen Chrysalis were all doing Pinkie Crack. After five minutes of Cadence's screams and Cocaine did the villains finally remember they had a prisoner hanging from the ceiling magically. Then all three villains died from overdose.

The wall suddenly exploded, revealing a jet-black alicorn with a blood red spiked mane. He obliterated the rope that held Cadence with his awesomeness. Cadence fell and broke her hoof.

"Who are you?" asked Cadence.

"Everypony calls me Poisonblade Deathwish, but you can just refer to me as Gary Stu," answered the dark alicorn. Then they fucked.

Then the two rode the elevator to the surface and set out on a journey to Ponyville while fucking simultaneously. The two stumbled upon the Lorax and Herobrine. They fused and formed Loraxbrine, but Gary Stu fired a fireball of epic proportions out of his mouth at the behemoth. It was super effective.