To Love a Goddess

by Lunas Tampon

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Romance
Length: 5335

A Lunar Stallion confesses his feelings to the princess he protects.

My name is Apollo, I was sworn in as Princess Luna's personal guard quite some time ago. I've watched her for so many years and silently stood by her side during all the recent ups and downs of her reign. Now I'm going to tell her how I feel. I know it would never work, we're just too different. But sometimes, there are things in a stallion's life he just has to do, and things he has to get off his chest.

What happens today will be anypony's guess, but one thing is for certain… it will be a day to remember.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-10 16:40:02 UTC

Speaking Your Heart

“Dear Princess Lun—“

“No, too formal.”

“Dear my lov—“

“No! Too forward.”

“My dearest—“

“No, that’s not right either.”

“To my dearest Luna, Your radiance is—“

“Augh! Why can’t I get this right?” I crashed my face into the hardwood table I was sitting at, the frustration within me quickly gaining momentum as it ate away at my sanity. I could feel my wings tense up in frustration at my wasted efforts.

“Hey, Apollo, what’re you working on over there?” a voice called out from across the room. I quickly shuffled the papers under the table and let them fall to the floor. I looked across the barracks to see Silver Star standing only a couple of tables away, a large grin plastered across his muzzle.

“Oh nothing, just some, uh…” I said, my voice trailing off to an incomprehensible mumble. I knew my cover was blown as the white unicorn took a few steps closer to my table and peeked below to see what I had attempted to hide. “Oh, those are just trash, pay them no mind.” I waved my hoof nonchalantly, hoping he’d brush it off.

“Just trash, huh?” Silver Star smirked and raised an eyebrow as I saw his horn ignite with a green aura that reflected his eyes. “Since when do you ever just throw trash on the floor?” he asked, his smirk growing larger every second.

I shot out with my hoof to try to snatch the letters away, but my agility was no match for his lightning-fast magical reflexes. He took a step back and unfurled the letters, his eyes scanning over them quickly. After a moment, he lowered the papers and made eye contact with me, an evil grin on his face. His green eyes flashed over to a small group of our fellow guards seated at a table across the room, then back to mine.

“Silver, don’t you dare…” I grumbled in my most threatening voice, but it was too late, my peer already opened his big mouth.

“Hey guys!” he shouted across the room to his subordinates, grabbing their collective attention as the letters floated across to them. “Check this out! Apollo is really gonna do it this time!” he exclaimed as the evidence settled into their hooves.

They all looked up at me, an evil grin appearing on each of their faces. The three stallions opened their mouths as they mounted a verbal assault against me.

“I gotta hoof it to ya, takes a special kind of courageous stupidity to do something like that!”

“Should I start calling you ‘King Apollo’ now so I don’t mess it up later?”

“Good luck! I’ll see you on my next trip to the moon!”

“Keep an eye on her horn! I hear those things can be crazy in bed sometimes!”

“Hey, when can I plan the baby shower?”

All these insults and more fell upon my ears. I just tried to ignore them the best I could and hid my now-blushing face under my forelegs on the table’s surface. It was no secret amongst the day and night guards that I had feelings for Princess Luna. Since her return I’ve quietly admired her without anypony’s knowledge. It was only recently a passing guard noticed me staring at a rather toned area of the lunar goddess.

It didn’t take long for the rumors to spread, and I couldn’t hide it anymore. Soon enough the entire guard force knew of my ‘secret’ feelings. Even the rookies teased me about it; though I always put them in their place by reassigning them to the worst position a guard could have: Armor polishing.

“What is going on in here!?” an authoritative, instantly-recognizable voice thundered through the large break room. We all turned to see our superior standing in the doorway off to the left. There, in his extravagant golden armor, stood nopony other than the captain of the guard, Shining Armour.

All five of use instantly jumped to attention as he entered the room, scanning each of us with his signature scrutinizing glare. He stopped in the center of the room between Silver and I, and the group over by the table.

“Silver Star, and you three.” Shining Armour looked over the stallions quickly. “Weren’t you scheduled for labyrinth patrol today?”

“No sir, we actually just finished with…” Silver Star trailed off as Shining's icy gaze made clear the piece of the message that had not been conveyed by his words. “I-I-I mean, yes! We were scheduled to patrol that sector, sir!” Silver stuttered.

I was still standing at attention, unsure of the captain’s motive for dismissing the others.

Shining smirked. “Well then, you better get going; your shift started ten minutes ago.”

“You heard him! Get off your flanks and into that maze!” Silver Star shouted over to the small grouping across the room. They quickly donned their helmets and ran outside after their superior.

After watching the four stallions leave, the captain turned to me.

“At ease, Apollo,” he ordered with his casual voice.

“Sir, why did you do that?” I asked as I let my foreleg drop to the floor.

“Do what?” Shining questioned with a sly grin as he sat on the other side of the table. “Sit with me, Apollo.” He motioned across to the other seat. Wordlessly, I took my previous seat and silently wondered what Shining was up to.

“So, is it true then?” he asked after a few tense moments.

“I don’t follow,” I replied while slowly shaking my head, hoping he didn’t hear the earlier discussion.

“I was passing by on the way to my office and I overheard some things before I came in.” Shining flashed another sly grin. “I’ll ask again, is it true that you were finally going to tell her?”

I opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words.

“Consider this conversation ‘off the record’.” Shining Armour took off his helmet, gingerly setting it on the table and rustling his mane with a hoof. “Please, speak your mind.”

“As you wish,” I said quietly before clearing my throat and taking my own helmet off, exposing a furrowed brow. “Why did you really send those four on a redundant patrol, Glaive’s squad is already in that part of the garden.”

Shining sighed slightly and chuckled to himself before bringing his forelegs up on the table and crossing them to rest his chin.

“The overall morale of all the Solar and Lunar Stallions is part of my job, and therefore it is my duty to quell any minor issues before they become a problem,” he answered quickly with a flat voice before his muzzle turned upwards into a hint of a smile. “Plus, we’ve known each other since we were in elementary school, and I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I didn’t back you up from time to time.” He chuckled and threw a playful punch across the table to my chin.

It was true; we met early on in our lives and quickly became best friends. We may have lost touch a few times over the years, but we always got right back to being friends like nothing ever happened. The only time he ever got mad at me was when I asked his younger sister on a date… he bucked one of my teeth out when he heard, but like any good friends, we laughed it out over a few drinks and pretended it never happened.

“Heh, never change, do ya, Shiny?” I laughed at the use of the nickname I overheard his sister call him once and continued to tease him with.

“Could say the same for you, Appy.”

“Don’t you have a fiancée to be getting home to?” I asked after remembering the only reason Shining ever came by the barracks at this time.

“Cadance? Yeah, I’m just stalling as much as I can.” Shining shrugged before a quick glance at the door. After confirming we were alone, he leaned over the table a little and whispered, “Between you and me, she may be the princess of love, but that doesn’t make her a good cook!”

Both of us erupted into laughter at the remark. After a minute to allow us to settle down and compose ourselves, Shining spoke up once more.

“Anyways, back to why I’m here. You’re really going to tell Luna you love her tonight?” Shining disbelievingly asked with a furrowing of his brow.

“Yes, but that’s not the whole story.” I ran a hoof through my mane to relieve an itch. I saw Shining silently motioning for me to continue. “I’m going to confess my feelings, but I’m also going to tell her I know why we couldn’t be together.”

“What do you mean?” Shining asked with a tilt of his head. “I’m marrying a princess, why couldn’t you marry one?”

“Well, Luna is a bit higher in the royal bloodline—er, no offense, Shiny.” I waved my hooves in defense.

“None taken.” Shining shrugged it off. “Still, are you sure about this? You never know what might happen. Technically, if you married Luna you’d be my…”

“Uncle.” I spoke up when he couldn’t figure it out.

“Right. Anyways, you’ve got a better chance of getting with her than most ponies,” Shining comforted. “I mean, you’ve been her personal guard for years.

“True as that may be, I’m still just her guard.” I sighed and looked down to my hooves for a moment before meeting my friend’s eyes. “Besides, the media would go ballistic and I’m sure Luna is busy enough without a coltfriend taking up more of her time.”

“Well, what if a coltfriend is exactly what she needs to distract her from all her work?” Shining countered with a smirk.

“I know what you’re trying to do, Shiny, but I’ve made up my mind.” I looked him right in the eyes to get my point across. “I’ll tell her I love her, and then that’ll be it. I’m doing this to finally get it off my chest after all this time. No dating or seeing each other extra.”

He hummed thoughtfully before standing and donning his helmet. “I see there’s no trying to change your mind on this,” Shining said whilst making sure his armour was correctly situated. “I really should get going before Cadance has my ass in a sling, but hey, I’m free tonight for drinks if you’re game.”

“A chance to see my best buddy get plastered and teleport himself into a park fountain?” I asked with a smirk as I too stood up from my seat. “Oh, I’ll definitely be there,” I chuckled and offered Shining my hoof. We quickly knocked them together and shared another warm laugh.

“Well, I should really get going,” Shining motioned to the door with a slight nudge of his head. I nodded and watched him go, mulling over our discussion. “Oh, Apollo?” he said to get my attention as he stood at the door. “Whatever happens today, good luck, my friend.”

“Thank you.” I nodded to him and watched him finally exit, leaving me in solitude.

I sat back down at the table and unceremoniously let my head fall to the wood surface, my eyes staring ahead through too much mental exhaustion to bother moving them. After a few minutes of silently replaying the conversation in my mind, I looked over to my pile of blank letters and quills and smiled.

I took everything I needed in an instant, and spoke to myself as I wrote what would be my final attempt for confession.

“Dear Luna, I know this letter may come as a shock to you, but there is something I…”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I trekked down the hall towards my destination. It was late into the morning, and the day shift was all around the castle at their assigned posts. Every one of them either saluted or nodded to me as I passed, and not a single one knew of the special package I held securely under my left wing. It wasn’t much further now; only a few more turns and I would be there.

Was I nervous? Of course I was; who wouldn’t be nervous confessing their feelings to such an important figure? It’s not like she would get embarrassed, it was the middle of the day and nopony besides her would see the letter unless they pried it away from my cold, dead body.

As I drew closer to where I would be delivering the sealed note, I found myself walking ever more slowly, my hooves feeling as heavy as lead weights. It felt like I was marching to my own execution as I finally arrived at my destination: The throne room.

I stopped short of the looming, arched double-doors, admiring the ornately gilded decorations carved into the wooden slabs as I thought momentarily of what I was about to do. Was this the right thing to do? It did not really matter in the end if it was right or not. This was not entirely something I wanted to do, but something I absolutely needed to do—for the sake of my own sanity.

With great reluctance, I pushed open one of the massive doors and trotted inside. The room was empty at this late hour. Luna had surely gone to bed and Celestia was occupied with foreign dignitaries, which meant there was no need for any guards.

Perfect.

I walked towards Luna’s throne and up the short flight of steps to the dais, the sound of my hoofsteps reverberating through the large, empty room. There I was, standing right in front of where the lovely Luna ran the kingdom from. With a final glance around the room to reassure myself I was alone, I unfolded my wing and grabbed the letter with my hoof.

I held it there and stared at the piece of paper, almost chuckling to myself how something so insignificant could be one of the most important things in my life so far. I turned it over and looked at the wax seal I shaped into a heart that securely held it shut.

As I reached out to set the letter on my love’s throne, it finally dawned on me. I was finally doing it. After all the years of teasing and bottled up feelings, I was finally doing it! It wasn’t exactly the same as telling her face to face, but nonetheless, the secret was finally being revealed to the one my heart longed for.

My wings twitched and fluttered at my sides as I tried to hold back my surprised excitement. With a gentle toss of the letter and a quick flap of my wings, I turned and made my way out of the throne room. A satisfied smile adorned my muzzle as I flew through the corridors. No doubt a few guards saw my short flight, but for once, I didn’t care.

After expelling most of my adrenaline-fueled energy, I touched down at the steps that led outside to the entrance of the citadel that separated the structure from the rest of Canterlot. I stood there for a minute, taking in the sight of the city, truly one of my favorite things about living there.

After savoring the sight for a few more moments, I took to the sky and soared around the castle. It felt like a massive weight had been taken off my wings as the warm, day air swept all around me.

It was one of my happiest moments ever.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

I breathed deeply, allowing the refreshing, high-altitude air to pass through my system. I always did love the way everything felt this close to the sky; then again, that’s just part of being a pegasus.

I was sitting atop the tallest watchtower Canterlot Castle had, the equivalent to a crow’s nest on an old ship. It wasn’t fun or overly demanding, but I took the extra shift a week ago to afford a vacation. That would have been most welcome, seeing as how not even half an hour ago I confessed my love to an ageless, possibly immortal being. That kind of stress would make anypony want some time away.

I glanced over to my spear for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. It rested lazily against my side as I sat there, unmoving, to keep watch over the surrounding area.

Surprisingly, I hadn’t thought about Luna nearly as much as I normally did on the job. I guess I was relieved to have it over with, no matter what the outcome may be. A squad of my fellow pegasi flew by on their daily patrol; I gave them a simple nod before looking to the sun. Judging by the position of the solar body, I still had roughly seven hours left before the night, and I could go home.

I contently sighed once more, feeling truly happy for myself. I gave a short chuckle, realizing the situation boiled down to little more than the equivalent of a foal confessing feelings to a teacher.

After a short while, I gave another glance to the sun and noticed that it had barely moved. I gave a slight roll of my eyes before a strange feeling came over me. It was a difficult sensation to explain, my entire body felt itchy and a bit tingly. I looked down to myself and noticed I was glowing.

The unfamiliar sensation slowly increased, forcing me to stand and try to figure out what was going on. It was barely a moment later the blue glow around me increased.

“What in Equestria is going—“

And then everything went dark. There was a moment of vertigo and feeling like I was taken apart and quickly put back together. I gritted my teeth and opened my eyes when the spinning stopped. I braced myself for what I would see, though no amount of preparation could have readied me for this.

I opened my eyes to be greeted by a magnificent bed standing before me, adorned with plush, deep-blue comforters and a fleet of pillows. Turning my head slightly to the right, I found a massive redwood desk against the wall, the beautifully stained and polished plateau scattered with various scrolls and documents. A crackling fire danced playfully in what was easily the largest fireplace I had ever seen. Surrounded by several ornate sofas, the hearth quietly cast a warm, flickering glow over the spacious bedroom. I looked to the bed once again, now noticing the large glass door which lead to an illustrious balcony.

I took in all these details very quickly and searched my brain for a room that fit. It all clicked at once: I was standing in Luna’s private quarters.

By the skies above—

“Good evening, Apollo.” A warm, heavenly voice interrupted my thoughts from behind me. My eyes widened and my pupils shrunk to the size of pinheads as my entire body froze. With shaking hooves, I turned around to see Princess Luna standing there with her ever-present smile.

“P-princess Luna!” I bowed awkwardly, not knowing what else to do. I slowly looked up, trying to hold back the sheer terror in my shaky voice. “Please, don’t punish me; I can explai—“ I stopped when she raised a hoof motioning for me to stop.

“Raise, Apollo,” Luna ordered. I complied and stood on my shaky hooves, forcing myself to look her in the eyes. “Do you mind telling me what this is?” she asked, magically pulling the letter from somewhere behind me and dropping it in my hooves.

It was opened.

“Princess Luna, I—” My voice cracked and I choked on my words, the throbbing of my heart loud enough for me to hear it. My ears fell and I bit my lip in frustration. I opened my mouth to try and speak again, but the letter left my hooves and I thought it better to remain silent.

“I have lived for over one thousand years…” Luna said as the letter magically sealed itself and settled over on her desk. “But I’ve never once had a member of my guard tell me they held strong feelings for me…” Her words trailed off as she approached the large glass door to the balcony. She stopped at the entrance to the balcony and waved me over with her wing, which I hesitantly obeyed.

I stopped on her right side and we both stared outside for a few silent moments.

“Princess, I-I don’t know what to say right now…” I gulped and looked up to see her staring outside with that blank face I’d seen so many times when something troubled her.

“What else could you say after something like that?” She expectantly turned to look down at me, waiting for me to say something.

I let out a light sigh and looked away, carefully lifting my helmet off my head and resting it on the floor in between my hooves. “I will accept whatever form of punishment you see fit to bestow upon me.” I closed my eyes and looked down. After a few long, silent moments, I felt Luna’s silver slipper under my chin and gently force me to look up at her.

“On the contrary.” She smiled to me before quickly leaning down and planting a light kiss on my cheek. Her hoof fell away and my own rose to touch where she’d kissed, leaving me paralyzed with shock. I had to struggle to keep my wings at my side.

“You… you just…” I stuttered, likely looking like a fool who’d never been kissed before.

“It took great courage to do what you did,” Luna said to me with an impressed smile. “What’s more, your words were the kindest and most touching that I have heard in a very long time.” She spoke as her hoof lightly ran through my mane, making me blush heavily when she withdrew it. “But… you were right when you said we could never work together.” Her smiling face took on a heavy frown as sadness overtook her. “I am truly sorry that all of your feelings can’t be reciprocated, but I am glad you already knew that.”

“But—But how did you find it so soon?” I asked after some of the shock dissipated. “I didn’t plan on you finding it until the morning.”

“Magic has many uses.” Luna paused to ignite her horn and give me a thin smile. “Such as alerting me to any intruders in the throne room,” she finished with a quick wink.

“Oh.” Was all I could say before I blushed and forced myself to look away. “I should, uh, get back to my post.” I clumsily grabbed at my helmet and slipped it on while making for the door.

“Not so fast, Apollo,” Luna quickly said before I could leave. I turned around to look back at her, an uneasy feeling overwhelming me at her sudden change of tone. “I may not be able to return your feelings, but perhaps there is something else we could do together…” she playfully trailed off and closed the distance between us.

“What… what do you mean?” I asked, barely holding my wings as they threatened to explode outwards.

Luna unfurled her own magnificent wings and whispered.

“Fly with me.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The air over Equestria swept past us as we sped over the rural countryside. Besides the buffeting wind in my ears, it was a silent flight, with no words being said between us. Then again, the day was perfect enough; words would have just disrupted my reticent ecstasy.

Every now and again one of us would do a simple trick, never straying too far from the other. I looked to Luna out of the corner of my eye, marveling at her divine beauty as she effortlessly took control of the sky. After passing over a small town consisting of only a dozen or so houses, Luna slowed her speed. I matched her as we quietly hovered above the busy town below us.

I turned my head to see a sly smirk meeting my eyes. I lifted an eyebrow in a silent question of what was on her mind. She nodded toward Canterlot off behind us, barely visible at this distance despite it being a perfectly clear day.

“Race ya,” Luna playfully challenged as she gave a wink. I nodded and braced myself for the flight of my life. “Go,” she whispered, starting what would no doubt be a swift defeat, but nonetheless…

It was the best flight I’ve ever had.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

My wings burned as Canterlot drew closer, my overworked appendages threatening to seize up and send me plummeting to the ground below. The wind stung my eyes, forcing me to squint to see my way, but I wouldn’t have traded this for anything.

The ‘race’ was going quite well considering I was up against the second most powerful alicorn alive. Luna was constantly in first, but always ahead of me by only a few feet, silently challenging me to overpass her. As tempting as it was to really push myself, I decided to savor the moment instead of trying to make more of it and possibly looking like a fool.

Canterlot was quite close now; we had just streaked over the edge of the city that overhung the cliff when Luna looked back to catch my attention. With a quick flick of her magic, a perfectly straight blue line no thicker than a quill pointed directly from her horn to the palace gardens.

I nodded in understanding and gave myself one more push as our unofficial finish line drew near.

We both dived at the last possible moment and flared our wings to slow our descent, the ground coming up to meet us alarmingly fast. Luckily, we both slowed enough to avoid injury and land on our hooves. Luna landed first, barely a second before I touched down beside her. We both took a moment to catch our breath and stretch our wings once more before folding them tiredly against our sides. I looked over to her, barely seeming fazed at the race she proposed.

Who am I kidding, she’d wear me down to nothing without even breaking a sweat.

Still, I wouldn’t have traded it for all the bits in Equestria.

“Princess, that was amazing.” I beamed as I turned to her, careful to hold at least some measure of my composure.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, Apollo.” Luna smiled back to me and took a step closer. “You will make a lucky mare very happy someday; I’m sure of it.”

“I… I’m honored to have somepony like you say that, thank you,” I said while barely keeping eye contact.

“Please, the honor was mine.” Luna very slightly bowed her head. “It’s been much too long since I’ve had such a wonderful flight.”

“Oh, well you’re welcome.” I looked away, blushing madly before turning back to face her after a few moments. “So, I guess I will see you tonight then?” I half-turned away.

“I don’t think so.” Luna shook her head while maintaining a slight smile. “You are no longer my personal guard.”

If my jaw could have ever hit the ground, it would have been at that moment.

“But, Princess! Why? What did I—“ I stopped when she slowly raised her hoof to silence me.

“You are no longer my guard, because I am promoting you.” Luna smiled as her horn lit in a small flash, summoning a gleaming, silver badge. She allowed it to float between us in a shimmering blue aura for a moment before continuing. “From this moment forth, you are promoted to the rank of grade-two captain and will act as Shining Armour’s second-in-command.” She now spoke with the authoritative voice of Equestrian royalty as the badge floated down to the armor on my chest and with another small burst of magic, fused itself to my armor.

I looked down and saw the silver insignia of a captain. I unbelievingly touched it with my hoof to make sure it was real and not an illusion.

“This… this is… Why?” Was all I managed to get out in my momentary shock.

“Shining Armour and I have recently discussed his need for a second in command with his upcoming wedding quickly approaching,” Luna explained without missing a beat and in a tone more befitting a close friend than a princess. “And with him going to be a new husband, he will be needing somepony we both trust to handle affairs while he is away.”

“I, this is so… I don’t know what to say…” I looked up to her, halfway expecting to wake up in my bed any moment now and realize this was all a dream.

“That’s quite alright, you’ve said plenty for today.” She smiled warmly to me and opened her mouth to say something before looking off at something behind me. I followed her gaze but didn’t see what her heightened alicorn senses picked up on.

“What is it?” I asked, turning back to her with a slight tilt of my head.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Luna smiled and waved a hoof dismissively. “I should be returning to my chambers to rest before I must raise the moon. Today was a real pleasure, Apollo. I commend you on your bravery and hope we may speak again sometime, as friends.”

“I would be honored more than anything.” I nodded to her, once more having to force my wings to stay at my side. Having the princess offer her friendship was more than I’d ever imagined walking away with. “So, I’ll see you around the castle?” I asked, my voice full of hope.

“I would like that.” Luna smiled and unfurled her wings once more. “Farewell for today, Captain.” And with that, she pushed off with a mighty beat of her wings and disappeared into the clouds, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I slumped to my haunches and let my wings flap themselves to release some of the nervous energy. I stared down at my new badge and could feel a tear coming to my eye. That night was the best I’d ever had.

The sound of distant hoofsteps and a few voices conversing with each other broke me from my silent thoughts. I stood on my hooves and looked to where Luna had previously been looking, a large archway separating sections of the garden. Four guards were making their way towards me, leading them was none other than Silver Star. With a smirk only I would see, I quickly trotted to meet them halfway.

This night is about to get a whole lot better.

“You!” Silver pointed a hoof at me, his face nearly red with fury. “Because of you, we had to spend our whole day exploring a damned maze! I’m gonna…” The threat slowly died on his lips as his eyes drifted to the silver badge standing out against my cobalt-blue armor. He looked back up to me in bewilderment before hesitantly snapping to attention, his three comrades quickly following suit.

“Sir!” All four of the stallions said in perfectly-trained unison. I couldn’t help but notice a flicker of jealousy in Silver’s eyes. I let them hold their attention for a few moments longer than necessary, silently basking in yet another small victory that night.

“At ease, gentlecolts,” I ordered in my most commanding voice. I mentally beamed at the sound of it, and the knowledge I’d be hearing it a lot more often. After a final moment to savor the look on Silver Star’s face, I swiftly turned on my hooves and spread my wings in preparation for flight.

“As you were.” I flashed them a smirk before taking to the air.

I made a straight line for home after leaving the garden, glad to finally be able to get some rest.

Not to mention, I had a new badge that needed polishing.