Last Resort
“It seems as if my life has been cut to pieces, with nowhere to go. This is my last resort, to smooth slice of a blade upon my skim. It’s not like anyone actually cares. None of them would care if I stopped breathing, so why do I care? No, I don’t care. Nor do I care of it were all to end.”
The growing trickle of blood grew as it slid down His leg, staining his fur a dark crimson. The knife lay near his hindquarters, shimmering now in the light of Luna’s Moon. He lay back his head, a tear welling up in his eye. Letting out a cry of despair he crumpled to the floor and lay there whimpering. Almost every night had he ended up here like this, ever since that fateful evening when his life was torn apart…
“I’m heading out dear, I’ll be back soon!” A beautiful middle aged mare stood in the doorway, staring up the stairs she waited for a reply. Soon a small head poked around the railing and looked down at her.
“Okay mommy!” The little colt exclaimed, “I’ll see you when you get home!” Then just as quickly as he had appeared he returned out of sight. Shaking her head the Mare headed out into the night for the last time.
“Hey there kiddo, did I wake you up?” Slowly I opened my eyes, through the haze I could see the shape of a Stallion over my bed. When my vision cleared I could see exactly who it was.
“UNCLE!” I exclaimed as I shot out of bed, wrapping my fore hooves around his neck. Then I noticed it was still dark out, the moon was still high in the sky. A look of confusion spread across my face when I realized this. Looking up to my Uncle I could see he had tears in his eyes.
“Uncle, why are you crying?” He simply looked away from me, trying not to break down. Then turning back to me in a soft voice he replied.
“Something has happened, so you will be coming to live with me for a while.” His voice began to shutter under the stress of his emotions. I just smiled, I loved visiting my Uncle. But little did I know what ahead.
That was 4 years ago, I was only ten when cruel fate tore my dear mother away from me. Not long after I moved in with my Uncle did I learn of what really happened to my Mother, it still haunts me every day. When I turned twelve my relation with my Uncle became strained, I just couldn’t cope. He did not know what to do for me, but he tried his best. He tried to make my life easier, raised me as his own son. I slowly became more distant the more time moved on. I eventually stopped speaking and started disregarding my school work. My friends attempted to give me comfort, but it only damaged our relationships.
Recently I had taken to the habit of locking myself away with the set of simmering crescents and staining the night in a scarlet shade. It had become my only relief, separating me from this hellish world surrounding me. The chaos of my mind set free through the release of myself. My downward spiral continued still, I began to neglect myself. I refused to eat, I rarely slept, and I never went out with my friends. How could I love myself if I cannot love another? I had given up the search for those who really care when all I could find was demons in the eyes of everypony around me.
“I am losing my mind! Why could no pony tell me I’m fine! What is wrong with me?” Standing up I determined that something had to be done. Hauling myself onto all fours I trudged across my room, streaking the floor with a deep crimson. Walking to the window I opened it and climbed out. Down the street I heard a crash back down the street. Someone was yelling my name, I just walked on. Soon I began to cry.
Running I found myself on the main bridge in town. My vision still cloudy, with the haze of my despair, I stumbled on to the sidewalk going across. Glancing over the edge I could see the river rushing by, as quick path to my reprieve. Mounting the railing I looked down into the void, the ever growing darkness. It felt like I was just where I belonged. I thought back onto my foalhood, the times with my Mother. It was so long ago, yet seemed as though it was only yesterday.
“I’m coming Mommy.” Tears streamed down my cheeks and across my muzzle. With a finally breath I let myself go. I heard a yell and looked to the side. The Air rushed past my face as I plummeted toward the void, the crash of the water growing louder and louder. With a sudden jerk it was all over.
“NO!” I watch in horror as the colt fell down over the railing. He glanced at me as he fell, a look of peace befell his face. I scrambled to the railing to see if he was still there. Only the void stared back at me. Choking back my tears I slid to the ground, I noticed the small scarlet splatter that lay there with me. I had known something was wrong but there was nothing I could do. I had tried so hard yet I still failed in protecting the only important thing left to me.
“At least there is still this, all that is left of him.” In my hooves lay a leather journal. I opened it up and was overwhelmed by what I saw written on the page.
A cool breeze picked up, disturbing the calm night air. Sirens could be heard across town as they sped toward the main bridge. All that they found was a despaired stallion sitting in a small pool of blood belonging to the departed. He held a small book in his hooves, on the tear streaked page was a few words.
I can't go on living this way