What the Buck is Equestria?

by fluffle22puff

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Babs Seed, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Random, Adventure, DJ P0N-3
Length: 1943

A human is transported to Ponyville by Twilight Sparkle's magic, and must figure out how to adapt, as well as convince them that he is not from Manehattan.

When you wake up in a strange place in the body of a pony, what should you do? Even worse, these crazy so-called ponies are convinced that you come from a place called Manehattan. You must adapt to this pony world, or, if possible, get back home from it.

Published 2013-05-15 05:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-27 00:20:58 UTC

Chapter 1

You wake up to pure darkness. You slowly crack open your eyes, only to shut them again. The pain is excruciating.

"Ooooh!He's awake!"a high-pitched voice squeals. You groan and lift your hand to your head. Then you realize it's not a hand, but a hoof. After a brief moment of panic. But being a calm person in general the panic subsides and you decide to deal with the matter later. Cracking open your eyes, you see a group of multicolored ponies standing in front of you, looking down at you with fascination.

"Where am I?" You groan. "What happened?"

"Hmmmmm," the purple one says, as if pondering something. "Looks like it didn't work. Lets send the poor stallion back."
"Of course. I am SURE his very special some pony is worried about him." This comment comes from the white one. Your eyes feel like lead weights, and with the assumption that you are dreaming, you drift off to Sleep.

* * *

As you sleep, the ponies watch, trying to decide what to do with you.

"It's not working," Twilight Sparkle said. "He wont go back." Twilight Sparkle is a purple unicorn with a dark purple mane with a violet stripe down the middle.

"Oh dear," Rarity sighed. "His family must be SOooO worried." Rarity is a white unicorn with a curled, dark purple mane. "Of all things this is the WORST!POSSIBLE!THING!"

"M-maybe he'll, um, like it here?"Fluttershy stuttered. A shy, yellow, Pegasus, she hides behind her long pink bangs as she speaks.

"Ay dunno, sugar cube." Applejack said in her southern drawl. "He's got his special some pony back in wherever he came from, right?" She is a strong pony, with a blond, ponytailed mane and an orange coat.

"I bet he's from Manehattan" Pinkie Pie squealed. "Look at his fancy clothes! They're almost as good as Rarity's!" She seems to be a hyper pink pony with a puffed up fluffy pink mane.

"If he's from Manehattan, we better ship him straight back there!" Rainbow Dash yelled, slapping one hoof against the other. She is a blue pony with a rainbow striped
mane.

"I don't know where he is from, but we have to send him back. Pinkie, go purchase seven tickets to Manehattan. We can leave when he wakes up."

* * *

You wake up with a moan. A soft blanket has been placed on your body, and a small purple dragon sleeps soundly beside you. "Excuse me," you say, nudging him awake. "Can you tell me where I am?" The dragons head snaps up, and he rubs his eyes tiredly.

"Huh? What?" He sits up, blinking frantically. "Oh my gosh! I fell asleep! Twilight will be so mad at me!" He curls up, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Um, who is Twilight?" You ask. "And where is this?"

"Oh, Twilight is just the most the amazing pony in the world! Except for Rarity of course." He blushes crimson. "You're in the Ponyville library, where Twilight and I live."

"Uh huh." You mutter. Ponies. The guy must be crazy. But, he is a dragon. You look down at your hooves. Wait. HOOVES?! You stare down at your body in wonder, and find that you have become a pony. You have a blue fur, and a white mane. You are wearing your favorite jacket from home, a black jacket with red stripes down the side.

"This is crazy," you shake your head and sit up. It is time to explore this so called "Ponyville".

Author's Note

[Authors note: this is my first fanfic, so please love and tolerate if I do something wrong. I am open to constructive criticism.

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

You open the door to the library, and as you walk outside, you notice that it is actually a tree. Scratching your head, puzzled, you walk down the street, or, clop down the street, more like it.
Snickering, you notice how much like one of the villages in your manga back home it is like. Or like one of the NPC villages in your video games. Despite not knowing you(or, at least, you THINK they don't know you) the colorful ponies all wave at you and smile as you walk by. Always the polite child of your mother's seven back home, you smile and nod back.

The town is a quaint little town. Homes line the streets, and though they are a bit old-fashioned, they remind you of condos. The town is built in a small valley, with a schoolhouse on one of the hills. As walk around in wonder, you feel a rumbling.

"Maybe this town is prone to earthquakes?" You wonder to yourself, but then face palm, (hoof palm)yourself, realizing you're just hungry. Walking around, you look for a place for food. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a stand of apples, selling what seems to be all apple products.

I sure could use an apple pie right now...

The stand is being manned by an orange pony with a blond ponytail. You walk up to the stand, slumping down in front of it.

"Uuuumm... Could I have an apple pie please?" You say, knocking on the stand sign.

"Course' ya can," she said. "That'll be three bits."

"Bits...?" You ask. "What the hell are bits?"

"Whaddaya mean, what are bits?" She looks up at me. "Ah, it's you. Up, sugarcube?"

"Well, yes, but how did you know I was asleep?"

She winked. "I was one of the ponies lookin' after ya."

You fidget, not completely comfortable with the thought that some girls were looking at you while you slept.

"So what are bits?" You ask.

"Ya should know what bits are. Bits are our way of payin' for stuff. I'm not so much of a country hick that I think Manehattan doesn't use bits. What're ya gettin' at?" She gives you a puzzled look.

"I told you, I don't know where Manehattan is! I'm not from Manehattan!" Your outburst scares her, but also draws a pitying look from her.

"We'll figure it out I'm sure. Tell ya what. Meet me at the schoolhouse up on that hill there round two o clock. And ya can take the pie. Don't look like ya got any bits on ya anyway. Later, ya should earn some bits tho." She hands you the pie.

You nod to her, thank her for the pie, and walk off, puzzled. You decide to find a place to relax and enjoy your pie.

Finding a bench outside a restaurant, you sit down and dig in. Unsure how to eat without a fork, you awkwardly shove your face into the pie. As you eat, you overhear a conversation.

"How could you let him get away, Spike! What if that was actually a successful summoning!? Now we could never find him!"

"Sorry Twilight! It's just... I was sleepy, and he was so fast, he just kinda stormed off... He couldn't have gotten far. Maybe Owlowiscious could look for him?"

"I don't know, Spike. He could be anywhere."

"Hey y'all. Lookin' for that colt ya summoned earlier Twilight?"

"Yes! How did you know? Do you know where he is?"

"Nope, but we're meeting at the schoolhouse later. Then we'll talk everythin' over."

"Phew! Okay. I'll see you there then."

You look back to what is left of your pie.

"Good god," you groan. "I hope this isn't a trap..."

Chapter 3

You are normally a very rational guy (pony). You have given in. This is not a dream, or some freakish hallucination. Back home, You would have NEVER believed in such a silly thing as dragons or talking ponies. But at one point, in psychology class at your high school, your class was instructed to write a report on anything involving illusions, dreams, etc. For your research, you chose a book involving how to tell if you are dreaming or not. The main point it talked about is that dreams are controllable, and easily bent to your will. You tried multiple times to wish for bits, but it didn't work. You tried asking to be able to fly, but no wings sprouted. Apparently you are stuck in this world, so you decide you will make the best of it.

After listening in on Applejack and the other two's convo, you decide that you don't want to stick around longer than you have to. You will meet them at the two o' clock meeting, no earlier. You don't want any trouble. You still have two hours to kill, and you don't want to go to the library, as that's where that purple one lives. Thinking about where to go, you decide to find somewhere to sleep. You need sleep after all, and this IS the strangest day you have had in awhile. Finding a hay barrel near a little hut on a far-out hill near a forest, you lay down in it and drift off to sleep.

You wake up... well, actually, you had a dream a about a dark colored pony- (no, horse?)telling you to wake up, as it is time for your pre-scheduled appointment. Jerking awake, you tumble off the hay, then stumble into town to check the time. Oh, the idea of that mare in your dream being correct is ABSURD of course, but it is still a good idea to check the time.

Looking at a clock, you find that, surprisingly it is EXACTLY 2:00, you rush to find the schoolhouse. Discovering that this small town is actually quite big, you decide to stop someone to ask them.

"Uuuuuuuum, excuse me?' You say, tapping the pony on the shoulder. "Could you tell me where the schoolhouse is? I'm... Um, not from around here."

She turns around. "Course I can! I work there! I'm the teacher, Cherilee. Let me walk you there. It's Sunday if course, so there is no school, but I would be happy to walk you there anyway!" She trots down the road, surprisingly quickly. Hurrying to follow, you trot to catch up. After awhile, she leads you to a small schoolhouse, with a swing set in front of it.

"Well, this is where you get off, so... Off you go." Cherilee says. You thank her and trot toward the door. "Oh, and by the way..." You stop. "What kind of magic do you use?"

"Excuse me?" You say. "I don't use magic."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I assumed you were a magic user... You have a horn and all." She turned and trotted off.

"You have a horn and all." Her voice echoes in your head. How did you not notice that you had a horn? But the magic- that sounded
cool. You wonder where you can be taught how to use magic. You shake your head, laughing at yourself. How could you have adapted to this insane world so easily? You trot toward the schoolhouse.

The schoolhouse, once you get inside, is actually quite homely. It is a one- story, one-room house. Looking around, you look for the orange pony(Applejack, was it?) but see no pony.. You walk around the room, but find no other places any pony could be. Shaking your head, you are about to turn around to leave, when-

"Get him girls!" A voice yells. A sack is shoved over your face. You flail, attempting to no avail to get the sack off you. "Applejack, knock him out." The voice orders.

"Ah am sorry bout' this!" The southern accent of Applejack says, and you feel a hard, blunt blow to your cranium.

And everything goes black.