Saved by Heroin

by MacElf

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Sad, Romance
Length: 5261

Upon waking in an unfamiliar bed, Rainbow Dash traces through her memories to figure out what went wrong. Will she be happy with what she finds? If not, how can she be saved?

Upon waking in an unfamiliar bed, Rainbow Dash traces through her memories to figure out what went wrong. Will she be happy with what she finds? If not, how can she be saved?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-10 20:44:42 UTC

Chapter 1

The first words that floated through Rainbow Dash's foggy consciousness were, 'Not again.'  The situation was familiar, even if she had yet to fully wake. Everything felt fuzzy, like she was not quite numb. She tried not to move and just let her mind clear. 'What's the last thing I remember?' Her brain provided blurry, darkened images of the last day. Days? Who knew. Before her memories came together, her ears picked up music playing softly. The song was 'Comfortably Numb' from the classic rock legend Pinkie Floyd. An old friend had introduced her to the music back in...

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash remembered everything that led her down this road she had  sworn to never walk again.

I've got a candle

And I've got a spoon

I live in a hallway

With no doors and no rooms

As a filly, Dash's greatest joy had been the execution of the sonic rainboom and the appearance of her cutie mark. That triumphant high had only lasted so long. Slowly, the absence of her friend Fluttershy made the halls of flight school seem cavernous and hollow. She began cutting classes to go visit the timid yellow pegasus until finally the administration had no choice but to expel her. Thankfully, the principal had enough faith in Dash as a flier and a student to recommend her for the Junior Speedsters program. The program held meetings three times a week, allowing her plenty of time to make regular visits to Fluttershy. The third week in, a griffon joined the Junior Speedsters who instantly took to Rainbow Dash. Gilda, so cool and assertive, commanded Dash's attention in a way the blue pegasus was too young to understand. Dash found herself flying faster and working harder just to keep the grinning griffon's focus on her. They led the program as the fastest and most daring fliers throughout the year it took to complete.

At the completion ceremony, Dash sat by Gilda and grinned into the audience at her parents. Sitting next to them was Fluttershy and her parents, all there to support the rainbow-maned Speedster. Fluttershy even did a little cheer, though only those sitting right next to her could hear it. Rainbow recognized it for what it was, though, and that was all that mattered. Halfway through the ceremony, Gilda leaned into Dash's shoulder.

"You got any plans for after this snooze-fest?" Gilda asked, smirking in that way that made Dash grin automatically. She paused for thought, looking down at the clouds.

"I dunno. I guess I'll try my hand as a weather pony until I can get into the Wonderbolts," she replied and frowned when Gilda rolled her eyes.

"No, doofus, I mean RIGHT after. You know," she said with a nudge, "to celebrate getting out of this lame-o course."

"Oh," Dash said with a blink. Looking up into the audience again, she returned a wave her mother sent her before turning back to Gilda. "Well, I know my parents have a little party planned with Fluttershy's folks. It's your basic dorky get-together with cake and apple juice. You should come if you don't have anything to do."

Gilda glared at Rainbow Dash beneath lowered lids, her expression clearly reading Not a flapping chance, filly. Before Dash could defend herself, Gilda's look turned thoughtful. Then she smirked, making Dash grin before she even knew what the griffon was thinking.

"Tell you what, dude. I'll come by your little family herding IF." Gilda paused and raised a single claw before continuing. "And ONLY IF you let me take you out for some real fun after, no questions asked. Deal?"

Rainbow Dash felt a current of excitement run through her wings and tail. Gilda had something planned, and Dash just knew it was going to be cool. That's just who Gilda was, after all. Just...cool.

"Deal."

Under the window sill

They all were found

A touch of concrete within a doorway

Without a sound

"Shearcago?!" It was the only word that had left the blue pegasus's mouth since the city had come into view. At first, Dash thought Gilda was leading her to Canterlot; the two cities were on opposite sides of the same mountain, so the assumption made sense. Then they turned from the setting sun towards the shadowy city built into the mountain rather than sitting on side of it. Where Canterlot was open and bright, Shearcago was crowded with buildings that pushed into each other on all sides. Dash had only ever heard tales about the place, beginning when the Full Moon Riots rampaged through Canterlot for nearly ten years after the banishment of Nightmare Moon. According to the little history Rainbow Dash remembered, Princess Celestia used a natural cave system as a place to hold the ponies involved until she could find a cure for the madness that afflicted them. Finally, after a decade of fighting to overpower Nightmare Moon's projected anger, Celestia opened the prison and gave those held there both their freedom and an invitation to travel and live anywhere in Equestria. Most of them accepted gladly, especially when Celestia ensured that she would provide lodging and food until they could get back on their hooves.

Some of the ponies refused, telling the princess that they didn't want her charity. They resented Princess Celestia for imprisoning them, no matter their actions, and refused to leave the near constant darkness provided by the mountain's positioning. A handful of unicorns and earth ponies had taken to mining and working the rocks of the mountain, and the pegasi that stayed helped to open the mountainside to allow for bigger and better structures. Taking its name from the shear cliff face it inhabited, Shearcago remained the biggest settlement in Equestria until Manehattan had its population boom.

Now, it was known as the toughest, wildest place outside of the Everfree Forest. And judging by the looks they received as they landed in front a small coffee house, Rainbow Dash could guess why.

Someone save me if you will

And take away all these pills

And please just save me, if you can

From my blasphemy in my wasteland

Gilda was grinning as she held open the coffee house door for Dash. It was a dare, Dash knew, to go inside or back away. As nervous as the place made her, she refused to let Gilda get one over on her. Also, though she'd never say so out loud, Rainbow Dash was afraid Gilda would end their night if Dash admitted to being sca...um, nervous.

There was a counter for placing orders immediately to the left of the entrance, and a quick look around allowed Dash to spot a second counter in the back left corner. Across the room in the back right, a stage with a single spotlight shining on a lone mic seemed to have the attention of the softly clapping crowd.

"Aw," complained Gilda as she led Dash to an empty table. "We must have just missed the first performance." Dash, who had been surreptitiously eying a crowd of unicorns three tables away, turned her gaze to the griffon with a raised eyebrow.

"Performance? What exactly did you drag me here for?" Rainbow Dash asked. Gilda chuckled with a disturbing amount of glee.

"Oh, you'll see," was her only response. Dash didn't push, however, as she saw one of the unicorns she'd noticed earlier approach the stage. Three minutes later, Gilda was laughing, and Rainbow Dash was trying to sink into the floor. "Wasn't that the lamest thing you've ever heard?" the griffon managed between guffaws.

"A poetry reading, Gilda?!" the pegasus moaned. "I thought we were celebrating, not torturing ourselves! And would you quiet down already?!" This was whispered with hushed urgency, her gaze sliding between her friend and the unicorns who were now grumbling and shifting at their table.

"Oh, come on, that dork was hilarious!" Gilda replied without lowering her voice. She followed Dash's eyes to the affronted unicorns, waiting until she had made eye contact with each one before she wrapped a foreleg around Dash and gently gripped her shoulder. Dash looked up at her best friend, refusing to grin despite the griffon's trademark smirk. After a moment, Gilda sighed and ruffled Dash's mane. "Alright already, no need to get all e-po on me. Let's just stay for one more reading – I promise not to laugh...too loud – then I'll take you where the real party happens in this city. Speedster's Honor." Dash wanted to make a comment about honor among delinquents, but her focus was caught by the next pony approaching the stage.

The earth pony looked to be the same age as Rainbow Dash, and her hooves made almost no sound as she settled herself in front of the microphone. Her mane and tail were rough and unkempt, making it difficult to tell if the dirty beige was just color or really dirt. Her head was lowered and tucked against her chest, and her eyes were cast downward in a way that briefly reminded Rainbow Dash of Fluttershy. As she sat there, her breathing deep and slow, Rainbow Dash took in the multiple shades of beige in her coat. The soft gray  of her muzzle, darkening to a deep beige around her face then steadily fading to a very light cream further down her body. The filly's cutie mark was partially obscured under the glaring stage light, and Dash couldn't keep herself from squinting to try and make it out. Then the filly's eyes flew up in a way that was not like Fluttershy at all, and Dash felt trapped by her wide gray eyes. As she began to speak, Dash would have sworn to Celestia the young poet's words were spoken just to her.

"How did I get here

And what went wrong

Couldn't handle forgiveness

Now I'm far beyond gone

And I can hardly remember

The look of my own eyes

How could I love this

A life so dishonest

It made me compromise

Someone save me if you will

And take away all these pills

And someone save me if you can

From my blasphemy and my wasteland"

As soon as the filly's gaze returned to the floor, everypony began clapping. Rainbow Dash wanted to clap, she certainly meant to, but all she could do was watch as the performer made her way to a booth tucked into the wall. She would have kept staring, too, had Gilda's sudden curse not snapped her out of the stupor.

"Huh?" Dash asked intelligently, standing as Gilda did and walking with her towards the exit.

"It just figures the last one I get to see has talent. I couldn't have laughed at her if I wanted to, dude. Talk about depressing."

Dash nodded as Gilda continued grumbling, but her mind was wrapped up in the words of the poem. She put a hoof on the door to keep it open as Gilda went out when the sudden urge to see the earth pony's eyes again stopped Dash in her tracks. The possibility was slim, she knew, but she had to try anyway. Looking back towards the booth, Rainbow Dash inhaled sharply as she immediately locked onto those gray eyes. There was a smile and a wave, and Dash returned the smile shyly. Before she could wave, Gilda goaded her to hurry up.

"Sheesh, you got gum stuck to your hooves?" the griffon verbally prodded as Rainbow Dash finally exited the coffee house. "Come on, Dash; you ready for a real party or what?"

A sudden breeze ruffled Dash's feathers, and the burst of adrenaline it sent along her body had Rainbow Dash nodding enthusiastically with a wild grin. Gilda spread her wings and took to the sky with Dash right behind. Dash had lost track of how far they had gone when Gilda took a sharp left and shot up along a building. She flew so close to it that her wingtips brushed it as she zoomed towards the top. Rainbow Dash was laughing joyously. Now THIS was fun. Soon, they both shot past the roof of the skyscraper, and Dash followed as Gilda back-flipped into a dive towards the rooftop. Instead of continuing the dive, though, Gilda extended her wings to slow her momentum and begin an easy spiral down to the roof. Dash felt a tinge of disappointment as she matched her friend's actions until both were settled on the roof. Rainbow Dash looked around, thinking Gilda had brought her here to show her the scenery, but instead the griffon walked to a door and knocked loudly.

"Um, Gilda? Where are we?" Dash asked, sidling up to Gilda's slightly larger frame. Gilda gave her that smirk, her head facing Dash even as her eyes flitted to the door.

"I promised you a party, didn't I? Well, here it is!" Just then the door pulled open to reveal a large, purple earth pony in a black shirt that read SECURITY in white letters. His bright red mane was short and spiked up with gel. Sunglasses obscured his eyes and made Dash wonder if he had sight problems. Why else would he wear sunglasses in the dark? Rainbow Dash realized the stallion was staring at her intently, so she puffed out her chest and straightened her shoulders.

"Hey, Biff, how's it hanging?" Gilda asked cheerfully. For a second, Dash thought he hadn't heard the question because he was still staring down at her. Finally, he turned to face Gilda.

"Wat's the boss say, Gilly? No unnerage ponies. Youse knows I can't let 'er in 'ere." Biff's voice was surprisingly pleasant. It was deep and would probably boom over the loudest crowd with no more amplification than a deep breath, but it had a lilting quality that made even his butchered grammar sound lyrical. Gilda's voice, in comparison, had a screeching undercurrent that grated down Rainbow Dash's spine.

"Nah, you got it all wrong, Biff. I know she looks young, but she ain't no mere filly." Gilda slung a foreleg over Dash's shoulders and moved them both a little closer to the doorway. "This is the great Rainbow Dash, fastest pegasus in all Equestria! And she deserves to celebrate, 'cause she's got a private audition with the Wonderbolts in a few days. Are you really gonna bounce a future Wonderbolt?"

Rainbow Dash felt her smile begin to strain as she fought to keep her eyes from widening in shock. She had never heard Gilda spout so much manure in one sentence, and Dash didn't think for a second that Biff would believe it. Still, she kept her face as natural as possible as the seconds ticked by. Finally, Biff raised one unexpectedly-manicured eyebrow and shook his head. Dash felt herself deflate.

"Gilly, if I 'ear e'en one murmur 'bout youse lettin' 'er near the bar, I'ma bounce bot' of youse clear to Canterlot, capiche?" he said, then stepped aside at Gilda's nod. Rainbow Dash felt not for the first time that Gilda was getting her deep into a trouble they might not get out of unscathed. Still, this was their graduation night, and they deserved to let loose.

Following the unrepentant Gilda, Rainbow Dash mumbled her thanks as she slid past  Biff's wide purple frame. She lingered briefly to catch a glimpse of his cutie mark, a pair of hooves wrapped in bandages, and heard him grumble out a parting comment.

"Good luck, kid. Wit' Gilly fer a frien', youse gonna need it," he said without looking at her. She was about to ask what he meant when a shout from Gilda had her rushing down a hall to catch up. They walked in silence to the door at the hallway's end. Nailed to the door, a sign written in bright rainbow colors declared:

                     WELCOME TO CLOUD NINE.

                   PLEASE DON'T CAUSE TROUBLE.

                     WE DON'T LIKE THE COPS

                      ANYMORE THAN YOU DO.

Then they were in, and every worry left her mind as she marveled at the club. Flashing lights made the dance floor seem alive, its pulse echoing through the crowd as ponies gyrated and swayed. Private booths with curtains dotted the walls, most with the curtains pulled shut to signify occupation. Gilda pointed to an open one, and they rushed to get inside before anypony else saw it. Just as they reached it, a hoof landed on Gilda's shoulder and spun her around. Refusing to lose the booth, Dash stuck in a hoof and yanked the curtain halfway closed before turning to see if Gilda needed her help. Of course, the griffon was perfectly capable of handling herself, and Rainbow Dash wasn't sure what she could have done anyway.

Even if Dash desperately wanted to shove her hoof down the unicorn mare's throat, she'd never manage it with Gilda's tongue in the way.

Jump in the water

Jump in with me

Jump on the altar

Lay down with me

My hardest question

To answer is

WHY!!!

An hour and a half later, Rainbow Dash excused herself from the booth to use the mare's room. Despite her original shock, Rainbow Dash had been able to maintain a pleasant attitude even when Gilda insisted the unicorn share their booth. Inside the bubble of privacy created by the closed curtain, Gilda introduced the brown-coated unicorn as Tessy Coil. She had flipped back her long peach mane and offered Dash her hoof.

"It's such a pleasure to meet you," Tessy had said in a voice somewhere between gravel and honey. "Last time Gilly here came to town, she couldn't stop talking about you."

Rainbow Dash had smiled and nodded, and for just a moment her heart swelled with happiness. Gilda couldn't stop talking about her! The bubble burst as quickly as it grew, however, when Dash's mind zeroed in on a glaring error. 'Why has Gilly never told me anything about you?' She had kept the thought to herself, naturally, refusing to show that kind of weakness. Though at first she had feared Tessy's arrival would ruin her and Gilda's celebration, the unicorn made no further moves to inhabit the griffon's throat. She had congratulated both of them, stating her desire to have been at the ceremony, then offered to buy a round of drinks. Ignoring Gilda's goading that they would only get in trouble if Dash herself was seen at the bar, the blue pegasus opted for apple juice. Tessy fetched the drinks quickly and then spent the next half an hour explaining the workings of Cloud Nine. Dash was surprised to hear that the club actually had a ground-level entrance for earth ponies and less-magically-inclined unicorns. The entrance was impossible to find unless you were shown it, Tessy had explained, so only a chosen few non-flying ponies could access the club.

Then Gilda had related how she had found the club by crashing headfirst through the rooftop entrance. If Tessy hadn't been nearby when Gilda slid to a stop, Biff Bop and the bartenders would have tied down her wings and tossed her outside...via the nearest open window.

While the griffon spun off into another story, Rainbow Dash had realized that Tessy was a really nice, helpful, slightly impulsive, and just downright likeable pony. If only Tessy had just been Gilda's friend and not something more, Dash was certain she'd be thinking of much less violent interactions. When Tessy and Gilda had gone out to dance, Rainbow Dash closed the curtain and sulked. She had no right to be angry, she knew that. Until that night, she hadn't even realized she liked Gilda that way. So she really shouldn't be imagining the most painful way to remove Tessy's horn and reattach it to her other end. Just as Dash had cooled down enough to be sociable, the two lovers practically fell into the booth. Rainbow Dash had taken that as a sign to excuse herself before things got...physical.

Dash slammed into the bathroom, ignoring the startled gasps of the mares inside. Pushing herself up on the counter, she leaned against the mirror and forced herself to breathe through the anger. Ignoring the mares trotting from the bathroom in a rush, Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and extended her wings. She tried to focus on her memories of drifting on an updraft, letting the wind do the work as her muscles stretched and relaxed. But in every memory, no matter how hard she fought it, there was Gilda floating beside her with that maddening smirk aimed Dash's way. That smirk that always made Dash grin no matter what she was feeling...and now it was making her cry.

"Crying is for babies," Dash mumbled and pinched her eyes tight. She was not a foal. She would not cry like some weak little sissy foal! The tears still came, heedless of her desires, and Dash reared back to smash her hooves into the mirror.

"Please don't." The gentle voice stopped Dash instantly, her hooves dropping to her sides. With the tears steadily escaping, she refused to open her eyes. Dash could hear the other pony moving to stand next to her; so Dash just stood, her eyes clinched shut, refusing to look or speak or even move. At any moment the teasing would begin, she knew, and she couldn't hit a target she couldn't see. More soft movement, and just when Rainbow Dash was tensing up for a verbal assault, a tongue licked at her cheeks. Dash jumped and her eyes popped open, her body instinctively darting away from the unexpected touch. And there she was.

Her gray eyes now had a glassy quality, but Dash still recognized her. 'Why is she here?' Dash thought, asking exactly that question a beat later. The filly merely backed up a step and turned to stare at the wall, a soft blush turning her muzzle a darker gray. Except, Dash noticed, for the very middle of the very tip of her nose. Right there a small snip of creamy white turned a rosy pink that made Dash think of cake icing. As Dash began imagining what that spot might taste like, a dot of color on the floor by the filly's right hoof caught her attention. It was bright red, and it wasn't the only one. Dash followed the trail with her eyes, seeing that it started way in the back stall. Turning back to the shaded filly, Dash fell forward onto her front hooves. From here, she could tell for certain the spots were blood drops leading right to the other pony's hoof.

"Don't," came a soft plea. Rainbow Dash looked up to see the filly's eyes were closed. "Don't look at me like that, please. It's complicated. It's all just...just so complicated."

When the tears began to streak from beneath closed eyelids, Rainbow Dash marveled at the sudden role reversal. Then Dash decided to do the only thing that felt right.

She licked away the tears.

Someone save me if you will

And take away all these pills

And someone save me if you can

From my blasphemy and my wasteland

A much older, supposedly more mature Rainbow Dash shifted gently on top of an unfamiliar bed. While she had been lost in memories, her ears picked up the distinctive

sound of a candle being lit. Now she heard the bubbling as a spoon was held over the flame. Dash stayed as still as possible until she heard the spoon placed on the table, knowing how easily her friend was startled.

Opening her eyes, Dash pushed herself up from the bed and watched as Heroin used her absurdly dexterous mouth to suck the drug into a syringe then plunge it into the veins of her right hoof. Rainbow Dash winced and waited for Heroin to remove the needle. Dash had never gotten into her friend's namesake drug. The one time she came close to trying it, she had freaked out before the needle could touch her. 'Celestia bless my fear of shots,' she thought now as Heroin attempted to stand and move to the bed. Heroin's eyes, persistently glassy now from years of drug use, took in Rainbow Dash with a smile.

"Morning," she murmured as she staggered into the bed.

"Is it?" Rainbow Dash asked. Heroin blinked up at Dash, her eyes refusing to focus on the blue pegasus.

"I believe so," Heroin finally replied. "It's kind of hard to tell without going outside, but I'm feeling pretty tired. That usually happens in the morning."

Dash sighed. She knew better than to point out the narcotics as a justly probable cause for Heroin feeling sleepy. Whatever had led Heroin to get her cutie mark of a powder-filled spoon was long forgotten, but the beautiful mare from Shearcago would never give up the drug. It was her life; the only thing Heroin trusted and relied on. That was the main reason Rainbow Dash had left her; Heroin would always love her drug more than she could love Dash.

Rainbow Dash knew she should leave, but it was so hard to do it with Heroin lying next to her...looking so soft...  'I should not be here,' Dash told herself. Turning away from Heroin, Dash sat on the side of the bed and ran a hoof through her mane. She'd made a stupid mistake; nothing new there. Now all she had to do was return to Canterlot and  explain her sudden disappearance to her five best friends...if they even still were her friends.

After the Grand Galloping Gala had fallen apart, Princess Celestia had offered Rainbow Dash and her friends a hotel room for the night. The group was going to politely refuse when Spike pointed out how long it had been since Twilight Sparkle had visited her parents. So Princess Celestia put all six of them up in a really fancy hotel right by the castle, and each mare got her own room. The others were exhausted and went right to sleep. Rainbow Dash knew this because she had checked each room in the hopes one of her friends would keep her company. Dash was wound up tight with energy, and she couldn't calm down. After practically rearranging her hotel room, Dash decided to go for a flight around Canterlot. Despite being a big city, Canterlot didn't really have any nocturnal ponies. So, naturally, there was absolutely nothing interesting open past ten at night. And though Twilight Sparkle would enjoy spending all night in the twenty-four-hour library, Rainbow Dash needed something to DO. When memories of Heroin flitted across her mind, Dash came up with a hoof-ful of reasons why trying to find her would be a bad idea. Then she thought of the mare's shy smile, her soft lips, and those EYES, and she was off.

Dash hadn't been certain where to find Heroin, but her first instinct had proven correct. Even though Dash repeatedly told herself she was just coming to check on her ex-lover, she hadn't been prepared for the pure joy that lit up Heroin's face. She had flung herself out of the bathroom stall, hugging Rainbow Dash with all her might. Dash had been surprised by how healthy Heroin was. Most junkies dwindled quickly, but Heroin stood radiant and defiant of the odds. Her coat was soft, her mane was...well, her mane was always a mess, but it was clean and full. But her eyes... The color was still there, but hard to see clearly. Her eyes looked like glass, the light reflecting too sharply to allow a clear view of that incredibly soft gray within. Rainbow Dash suddenly regretted finding her. Dash had been clean for years, and how could her friends trust her if she fell back into old habits? How could she trust herself? She needed to leave. When Heroin turned back to the stall to finish fixing her hit, Dash stepped back and prepared to say goodbye. But Heroin had turned back around after rummaging in her kit, beckoning Dash to kiss her with a smile Dash couldn't refuse. The kiss quickly deepened, Heroin's tongue slipping past Dash's parted lips, and then broke as Dash began to choke.

Dash darted to the sink and gulped down water until she could no longer feel the pain pills sticking in her throat. Breathing deeply, she banged her head on the counter. She should have seen that coming. It had always been Heroin's favorite way to slip Dash a present. She should have been angry. She wanted to be angry. Looking up into the mirror, she saw Heroin standing right behind her. Her face was fraught with guilt, and she seemed to not even care about the candle burning in the last stall. 'What the hay,' Rainbow Dash thought. 'It's only one night.'

Some one save me

Some one save me

Some one save me

Somebody save me

Somebody save me

Please don't erase me

Rainbow Dash found her way to Heroin's bathroom, more than a little surprised by the  running hot water. 'At least she's got bits,' Dash thought, wincing at the images that accompanied the thought. 'I neither know nor care how she makes her bits...not if I want to stay sane.'

Back in the bedroom, Dash stared at the kit lying open on the low table. Everything was spread across the table, and the rest of the bedroom mimicked the table's appearance. Sighing, Dash started to clean. Her friends would already be worried, so another couple of hours hopefully wouldn't hurt.

After the room was back in order, Dash turned off the music before the Pinkie Floyd song could replay for the twentieth time. Then Rainbow Dash sat at the foot of the bed for fifteen minutes just to watch Heroin sleep. Finally working up the strength to turn and leave, Rainbow spotted one of Heroin's many notebooks poking out from under the earth pony's makeshift desk. Placing it neatly on the desktop, Rainbow Dash went with her gut feeling and started to write.

"Dear Heroin,

What I can remember of this visit was a blast. I'm so glad I got to see you again. I'm not sure how many days have passed, though, and I have to leave now. My friends are going to be worried sick, and I don't want them stressing any longer than they already have. I wish you could meet them, Stripes; they're real good ponies.

I'd be lying, really, if I said I want you to come with me. Maybe once, a long time ago, before you lost so much of yourself. Before you lost the spark in your eyes. Yeah. I would have bundled you up and brought you to my new home. I would have introduced you to all these great ponies, and we could have helped you. The old you. But not anymore.

I don't like leaving like this, but I know I won't be able to walk away from you when you're awake. I don't like leaving you here, in this wasteland called Shearcago, but I know better than to think you wouldn't find your way back. And what I like the least is knowing that nothing can get you to change. Not even me.

I've made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, but for the first time I feel real regret. Regret for not pushing you for answers that first night we met. Regret for leaving you to save myself. Regret that I have helped save the whole of Equestria, but I still couldn't save you. I'm sorry. I'll never forget you.

Love,

RD"