I Wish I Were a Pony

by KevinCorporation

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Fluttershy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad
Length: 8947

A memoir that Fluttershy started keeping after becoming a tree.

Fluttershy used to be a Pegasus pony but then one day she found herself turned into a tree. First ecstatic because she had always wanted to be a tree, she then found out being a tree is filled with more emotion that she had ever thought possible.

Now, discover her journey through life as a tree. Follow her through the highs and lows and find out just how much a tree can feel. This is the journal of Fluttershy that she kept as a tree.

(Author's Note: This story takes place in an alternate reality of Equestria and is not canon. I am also looking for cover art, please contact me if you have an image you think would go great with this story. Also, I am looking for editors with a background in literature. Thank you, and enjoy.)

Published 2013-05-12 08:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-15 00:18:18 UTC

05/10/2013 A.C.E (Part 1)

Oh my, where to start?

Well, I used to always keep a journal but I just never thought of keeping one while like this. I mean, I know it is not really possible to write this down but now…like this…I, I think I will be able to remember it all…maybe.

And who knows? Maybe somepony will invent something that maybe will let trees talk or even something that would let a pony listen to the leaves or hear the bark or I don’t know… Twilight is the smartest pony I know, if anypony could do it, it would be her. Then maybe keeping this journal would help somepony somehow? That would be nice.

But maybe some other pony will figure out how to do that before Twilight so it would probably be best to start at the beginning.

Oh, but how rude of me! I haven’t even introduced myself yet. Sorry… My name is Fluttershy and I am a Pegasus pony, or rather…I was…

Well, I mean now I am a tree but I used to be a pony. Now I am a tree. I mean, I have been a tree for a while now but I was born a pony, I mean Pegasus, which is a breed of a pony…

Oh dear. I’m sorry, let me start again.

My name is Fluttershy and I was born in Cloudsdale, Equestria as a yellow Pegasus pony with a pink mane. I stayed there with my parents until I was old enough to live on my own, at which point I moved to live on the outskirts of Ponyville. Although I had lived much of my life in the sky in Cloudsdale and am a Pegasus, I much prefer the ground.

My cutie mark is a trio of butterflies and they symbolize my talent for communicating and caring for animals. This is why I chose to live in a cottage so close to the woodland creatures of the Everfree forest, so I could be closer to what I love. I take care of them and my animals and we get along very well.

But even though I get along well with the animals, I never really got along well with other ponies so I would not be surprised if you’ve never heard of me. You see, I am a very shy pony. Strangers and groups of people all scare me so I am not very sociable and keep to myself. But now, none of that really matters.

I had always wished to be a tree. It was my dream because of how trees were always so in tune with nature. The animals all love trees. Trees are everything in nature. They house animals, they feed animals, they have no worries, and they care for and live in harmony with all the creatures I so love. A tree’s life seems so perfect and everything I wished for. That and they also stay firmly in the ground.

Now I am a tree. I am not sure entirely how it happened but somehow, my wish to be a tree finally came true.

After feeding all my animals one night, I went out for a stroll in the hills near my cottage. I went with my pet bunny, Angelbunny, and we walked along the edge of the Everfree forest, staring up into the night sky.

Angelbunny got bored after the first ten or so minutes and wanted to go back home but then there were these shooting stars covering the night sky! I begged Angelbunny to stay with me a while longer to watch and he reluctantly agreed. I was so happy. We ran to a large hill but on the way I slipped in a puddle and fell. I probably missed it because I was too busy watching the sky. I think I got some in my mouth too but that’s okay, it was worth it to see the stars.

When we reached the top of the hill, Angelbunny and I sat there looking up at the stars. It was so beautiful, I hope my friends were able to see it too. On the last star, I made a wish. It was the same wish I always made: I wished to become a tree.

After the spectacle, I looked down for Angelbunny and found him already asleep. It was so cute. I just could not disturb him but I didn't want him to catch a cold or anything, so I decided to spend the night out there with him under the stars. Before falling asleep, I remember looking around and thinking that if I were a tree, I would want to be a tree on this hill. It was the perfect place, the hill overlooked Ponyville on one side and on the other side was my cottage and the Everfree forest.

I snuggled close to Angelbunny and soon started slipping into pleasant dreams.

Those were my last memories as a pony.

Author's Note

A.C.E stands for After Concordian Era and I got it from a timeline I found by Fieryeel and can be found here (Source).

I arbitrarily chose the date based off a few things. I guessed that the sisters Celestia and Luna were in harmony for about a thousand years give or take a few years and Luna was imprisoned on the moon for another thousand years. To me, that sounded like about 2000 years and figured why not just make it the same as this year? I also think I heard somewhere that there calendar system is similar to ours so I am going with that too.

Also note, a lot of specific details were arbitrarily chosen based off whatever I could find.

Please note that this is a work in progress and may be edited later when I find some editors. Also remember, this is Fluttershy's journal from her perspective and her knowledge in literature. She is also "writing" (remember that she can not actually physically write so everything she takes down is her direct thoughts) for somepony who may not know who Fluttershy is, hence the format and introduction on who Fluttershy is.

Enjoy, and this will probably be the last you hear from me.

05/10/2013 (Part 2)

When I woke up the next morning, I was startled to be on the hill. You see, I forgot that I had decided to sleep outside. I looked around and was surprised to see the sun already up in the sky. I usually wake up around dawn to feed the animals and now it must have been almost noon already! Oh, and what about Angelbunny? He must still be asleep since the only time he will wake up is when I bring him breakfast.

I looked down and there he was, still snuggled against my roots. Roots? I tried to crane my neck to see myself but I couldn’t. Then I tried to reach down to wake Angelbunny but all I could accomplish was a slight rustling of my branches. Branches? I didn’t understand what was happening yet. But if I couldn’t crane my neck, how could I see Angelbunny? I could see him through one of my branches that was hanging over him. Huh?

What was happening? Why did I have branches and roots instead of hoofs and wings? Why couldn’t I move? How could I still see? I didn’t understand. Was this what it was like to be a tree? Wait, was…was I a tree?

I remember thinking those things and then I caught sight of my reflection in the morning dew on one of my leaves (my leaves?). I looked into the reflection and what looke back was…nothing. Nothing was looking back, there was nothing in that reflection but a tree. A tree? That hit me with a jolt. I was a tree!

Yay!

It was as if I was just truly waking up. It just all hit me at once, I was so excited. So this was what it was like to be a tree! It was nothing like I imagined. I could think, I could see, I could hear, and I could feel. Who knew trees experienced so much? Eventually, I came to realize that a tree’s memory is even better than an elephants! I once met an elephant while I was still a pony and he told he could remember all the way back to when he was a child. Well, I guess I was never a sapling but I can still remember what happened ever since I became a tree and before the miracle too and since trees get much older than elephants…Will I really be able to remember hundreds of years?

Sorry, I got a little sidetracked.

Where was I? Oh! How was I able to see and hear? It was so overwhelming at first but it turns out that a tree can feel, see, and hear everything around it. From the base of my roots underground, to my furthest reaching branches, a tree perceives through its bark and to a lesser extent, its leaves. I found out the longest I can still listen (communicate?) to a leaf is until it dies. For me, that would probably be somewhere between 1-2 hours before one of my leaves die after it detaches from a branch.

It is very interesting to see the world as a tree. It is like my head is a little squirrel that climbs up and down the tree and looks out. But I think that is because I am still pretty new to this. There are times in which I feel like I can see everything and hear everything around me all at once and it is really scary. It is overwhelming and I usually retreat back into my bark for a while until I calm down.

Sorry. I’m just so excited that I can’t think straight right now. I keep getting distracted and I want to share with everyone everything about being a tree. I’ll get back to where I left off. There will be plenty of time to describe being a tree later once we catch back up to the present.

Um, okay. So after I realized I was a tree and figured out how to direct my senses (I think that’s the right phrase), I tried to figure out what kind of tree I was. My, I had never seen a tree that looked like me, I must have been a new species! It was so wonderful. I was my own tree.

The other trees of Ponyville had nice healthy shades of browns and greens and the trees of the Everfree forest has an older look to them. They grew without restraint and have lived for a long time. Their barks were thicker, darker and they reached higher than most trees in Ponyville. The Ponyville trees were tamer and organized so they would not be a hassle to the other ponies living there. Even the trees in the park were different than me. Those trees were usually skinny and did not grow very tall. They had grey bark and were able to grow closer together than most trees.

Compared to other trees, I seemed very…light? I probably had the lightest shade of brown for my bark. It was almost orange with tinges of yellow peeking through. But I was still a tree so it was still brown. My leaves were also a lovely shade of green but I guess those were pretty normal colored. I wondered how old I was because I just became a tree, I mean, it is not like I grew from a sapling. Was I at my maturity or was I still growing? I guess only time will answer that question.

I may not know how old I am but I know a healthy tree when I see one and I was healthy. The sheen of my leaves were bright and my bark, full of life. My bark was nice and smooth and the girth of my trunk must have had a, um, radius of maybe nine or ten inches! Oh, and how tall I was! If I were planted next to my cottage, I could easily peek into my highest window and my leaves went even higher than that! My branches would also reach out in all directions, like they were trying to comfort and hug the world. My longest branches must have been three or four ponies long. They made such lovely shade all around me and it was the perfect kind of shade. I mean, the leaves were thick but not too thick and just the right amount of sunshine could sneak through.

I was the perfect tree that I had always imagined.

Oh, I was so excited about finally being a tree that I forgot all about Angelbunny! I only remembered that he was there as he started waking up because his little feet always give a little kick right before he wakes up. It is sooooo cute. I wondered what he would think of me being a tree or if he would even know it was me?

I stood there watching him wake up, wondering what he’d do but was still unprepared for what he did when he woke up…

Author's Note

Excerpt from Applebloom's Diary, dated 04/03/2013

Tonight, I snuck out to see Zecora. I wanted to visit her because it was a full moon and she always brews her strongest potions on a full moon. Me and the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders saw her in Ponyville all day today gather ingredients but today she looked really excited. When we asked her why she was so excited she told us she had a mighty powerful potion planned for tonight. But when we asked her what kind of potion she was planning on brewing, she just gave us a smile and told us one of her dumb riddles!

So I decided that I would sneak out and find out what was so special. After supper, I pretended to get ready for bed but really ran off to the Everfree forest, but not before rearranging my pillows to make it look like I was still home asleep. But when I got to the forest, it was starting to get dark and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to find my way back. But if I kept to the path I thought I'd be alright, and besides, what if Zecora's potion could finally get me my cutie mark?

I finally reached Zecora's house but when I got there...things did not go exactly as I had planned. When I got there, Zecora was already hard at work making her potion and singing something as she did it. I was standing on a box, peeking into her window but then her potion made a boom and it surprised me and I fell over backwards.

Zecora caught me and brought me in to scold me...

She kept going on about how spying on people is rude and how the forest is dangerous at night but all I could think about was what that potion she made did. She must have seen where I was looking because she gave me a grin and asked if I was interested in the potion.

I told her yes and asked her again what made tonight so special and she told me that it was because tonight was the most magical night of the last decade. It was only on a night that was a full moon and had falling stars that you could brew the strongest potions. It was something about the union of day and night. She said that later she would take the potion out under the stars and that the cosmic rays or whatever would provide the final ingredient. She told me this was the strongest potion she could make and it had the power to grant the drinker her one greatest wish and desire. She said that only if your wish is perfectly in sync with your desires and is pure, then it will be granted but then I stopped listening because if I had that potion, I could finally have my cutie mark!

When she was busy getting ready to take me back out of the forest, I sneaked by and and filled a bottle I took from her shelf with the brew and hid it. When we got out, it was really dark but then the shooting stars started to appear. Zecora ran off pretty quick after that. I saw that Fluttershy was taking a walk and I did not want her to see me so and tell my sister so I ran off through the hills but then I tripped and dropped the bottle! It shattered and the potion spilled everywhere.

Sorry girls, looks like we will have to wait a while longer before getting our cutie marks...

05/10/2013 (Part 3)

Angelbunny spent two whole minutes waking up. When he finally finished, he looked around and then up at me. I was so happy, Angelbunny must have recognized me! But then he shook his head and kicked the base of my trunk and bounded off…

Angelbunny did not come back for couple hours and I started to wonder what he could be doing back at the cottage. But just as I started thinking about that, I started hearing cries coming from my cottage. Oh no! The animals, they haven’t eaten! They must have been starving, I got so worried…I didn’t know what to do…

I had never felt so helpless and ashamed in my life. Here I was, celebrating becoming a tree that I forgot all about the animals that depended on me. The same animals that were the reasons that I wanted to be a tree in the first place. I wanted to become a tree to help and be with my animals forever and here I was, unable to even feed them. I started crying inside my trunk.

I cried for so long but then I saw Angelbunny coming back up the path to my cottage and he had my Unicorn friend, Twilight, with him! I probably missed Angelbunny leaving because I was so busy crying but now I was delighted! Good Angelbunny, you're so smart, thinking to bring Twilight over. Soon the cries of the animals died down and Twilight left. She was muttering something to herself but my hill was too far from the path to make it out.

A couple more hours passed and I started to calm down. Surely if Twilight kept coming to my cottage, my animals would be alright? I told myself that is exactly what that meant. My friends would never let my animals get hurt. I looked out again and took in the scenery.

Did you know that the winds is just as alive as a pony or a tree? I didn’t know that until that day. I stood on my hill and just listened to the breeze. It felt its way through my leaves and I heard its breathing and whispers. It told me about the weather and where it has been. It was amazing. The wind told me that it was going to rain later. It carried me and the other trees that message that the Pegasus ponies were bringing clouds over from Cloudsdale to water all the new plants Spring had brought.

But then I heard a noise and looked down in front of me. Angelbunny was back and looking up at me. Did he now realize it was me? I watched him circle me and examine me. Minute after minute ticked by. Angelbunny then stepped in real close and started sniffing my bark. He must have smelled something there because he jumped back and looked at me with wide eyes.

I yearned to yell at him that it was me! That I was now a tree! But I couldn’t…because I was a tree. But that is okay because Angelbunny figured it out by himself.

He must have been so confused. He just kept circling, and sniffing, circling, and sniffing as if he was not convinced. Finally he stopped and looked up at me again. Just then, the wind whispered to me its warning again and this time I felt my leaves start to bunch up all on their own as if trying to create shelter. It was like an instinct. Angelbunny saw what my leaves were doing and immediately ran off back to the cottage. At first I did not understand why but then he came back with my umbrella in his mouth. He managed to get it open and propped it against my trunk.

It was then I realized that trees have a larger role than I first thought. I always knew animals could read nature and always seemed to know what the weather was going to be like before us ponies knew but I never thought I’d be making those signs myself! Trees were not only shelter and a source of food for animals and insects but they also were signposts to help tell the animals the weather. Amazing! Angelbunny saw what my leaves were doing and knew it was going to rain so he brought me an umbrella. Oh, Angelbunny you are so sweet and I love you so much.

Angelbunny went back to the cottage and it started raining. I stood there taking it in. It felt wonderful. It was like an invigorating shower and a delicious drink combined into one. The umbrellas that Angelbunny brought me didn’t last long, and fell over and blew away rather quickly towards the Everfree forest. But that was okay, it’s the thought that counts.

Not only was the rain so wonderful but the rain brought me my first animal visitors. A tree’s leaves are usually spread apart to try to catch all the sun but when it rains, leaves bunch up to catch the rain to drink. When the leaves bunch up, it also makes for good shade against the rain for anything under it. The shade isn’t perfect but anything under me will be a lot less wet than anything that is out in the open.

The birds started coming a few minutes before the rain started. They chirped around my branches and leaves, looking for the best places to settle. It felt wonderful having all that life on me. I felt the first of the insects moving in my bark and on my branches. Ohhh, I wonder what kind of butterflies will come from eating my leaves? I also hoped that some of those birds would make their homes in my branches. How nice it would be to wake up every day to a bird’s song. That was all I could imagine as the storm ran its course. I couldn’t wait to have some residents move in to my branches and nooks! Just like I have always dreamed!

As the rain started to peter out and the skies started to clear, some of the birds started leaving and it made me a little sad but who was I to force the birds to stay? They have their own places they need to be too. Besides, there were still the birds that decided to stay with me. I looked out towards my cottage (is it still mine now that I’m a tree?) to see if Angelbunny was going to come out to greet me. He must have been busy because he did not come but I saw my umbrella. It was torn up by the bushes and part of it was stuck there and the rest was probably scattered through the Everfree forest by now.

Oh dear, I didn’t mean to make such a mess.

While I was looking out towards the forest I also saw Twilight coming back up the path to my cottage. I assumed she was coming back to feed my animals again. She is such a good friend. What I didn’t realize was that she brought all my other friends with her too. I still wasn’t used to being able to see in all directions at once so I kinda gave myself a head (tree? bark?) ache. It took me a moment to refocus but then I saw Twilight had come back with Spike the Dragon, Rarity (my other Unicorn friend and fashion expert), Rainbow Dash (my childhood friend from Cloudsdale and the fastest Pegasus in Ponyville, maybe Equestria), and my two Earth pony friends Applejack (the best apple farmer in all Equestria) and Pinkie Pie (the greatest party animal there is).

Why were they all here too? I didn’t have that many animals at the moment…

Oh my, it is getting late. I know that since I am a tree, I don’t actually need sleep, but it is hard to break a habit I have lived with all my life…sorry. I’ll tell you why all my friends were there tomorrow. Besides, this isn’t really a story I’d like to tell right before bed…

Author's Note

What follows is a recounting of Angelbunny's day on the date of 04/04/2013:

Angelbunny woke that morning feeling groggy. He was used to having Fluttershy wake him with breakfast but did not smell any food. He laid there and kept trying to wake up. After a few minutes he was finally able to get up. He looked around, trying to make sense of where he was and remember last night.

Where's Fluttershy and where's my breakfast? thought Angelbunny getting more mad than worried. He is very grumpy when hungry.

He started remembering the night before and mentally retraced his steps, Fluttershy had just finished feeding the other animals and wanted me to go on a walk with her. Then I told her I wanted to go back but shooting stars started falling and she wanted me to stay a while longer to watch with her. I reluctantly agreed and laughed when she fell into a puddle. That's what she gets for having her head in the clouds or rather, stars. After the show, I fell asleep with Fluttershy on this hill.

Angelbunny stopped there. He went to sleep snuggled with Fluttershy, not this tree...Where did it even come from? Well, it was not Fluttershy so Angelbunny gave it a kick in frustration and decided to see if Fluttershy was at home making him breakfast.

But when Angelbunny got there, he could not find Fluttershy. Now he was starting to get worried. Where could she be? He ran off and looked all over the house and backyard. He asked all the animals if they had seen Fluttershy and they told him no but that they were hungry. Angelbunny told them that he would feed them later if he could not find Fluttershy and bounded off again. Not satisfied, he searched all through the house again but still could not find her!

Now on the verge of panic, Angelbunny started pacing in circles wondering about what he should do next. He must have been pacing for an hour lost in thought but the cries of the animals brought him back to the present.

The other animals were hungry (not to mention himself) but he soon realized that he would not be able to feed them all himself. He was too small and could not get to the food on the higher shelves or unlock the pens. As much as he hated to admit it, Angelbunny needed Fluttershy.

So if I can't have Fluttershy, thought Angelbunny, Then I will just find some other pony to feed us.

Angelbunny ran out and told the animals he would be back soon with help. He quickly bounded towards Ponyville as wuick as he could while wondering which of Fluttershy's dumb friends he should bring back. But he was too distracted thinking about what to do next, that he did not realize that he was already in Ponyville and ran into one of those "dumb" friends.

Angelbunny looked up and it was the purple unicorn. Twilight. The unicorn cocked its head, puzzled. Angelbunny started hopping up and down, pointing back to the cottage. Twilight was at first confused as to what the bunny was trying to tell her but then realized that Angelbunny was trying to get her to go back with him to Fluttershy's cottage.

She started to follow the bunny back to the cottage but then started to pick up the pace, moving into a gallop. After a moment you start to realize that there is something eerie about a pet out in the middle of town without its owner. Especially if it starts acting hectic and trying to get you to follow him home. Something has to have gone wrong.

The pair make it back to the cottage and Angelbunny immediately leads Twilight to the animals. At first the unicorn was confused about why she was brought here (she was expecting to find an injured Fluttershy) but after Angelbunny rubbed his belley a few times and pointed to the empty food bowls, Twilight realized what he was trying to tell her.

After Angelbunny had shown her where all the food is stored and she managed to feed all the animals (including himself), Twilight left promising to come back that night and muttering about forming a search party. But all Angelbunny cared about was his full stomach and waved her away.

After a while though, that worry came back. Where was Fluttershy?

Angelbunny went to the window and looked out, hoping to find her. His gaze finally settled on that strange tree sitting out on that hill. That tree was definitely not there last night. Angelbunny then remembered that stupid superstition ponies had about wishing on a star and what had Fluttershy told him her wish was? No way...There was no way that actually happened.

He ran out to the tree and looked up at it. Then he started to slowly circle it and examine every bit he could. There was definitely something off about the tree. It was not normal. He leaned in to sniff the bark and immediately jumped back.

No way!

The tree smelled exactly like Fluttershy. He was still not convinced. He continued his investigation of the tree but the longer he looked at it and smelled it, the more convinced he became that it was her. What happened? He then noticed that the tree (Fluttershy?) was trying to tell him something. Angelbunny looked up at the leaves and realized it was telling him it was about to rain. Angelbunny then ran back to the cottage.

If Fluttershy is now a tree, then she can't get her umbrella, but as he was returning with the umbrella, he wondered, Wait, does she even need an umbrella now? Trees need water and besides, this umbrella is too small.

Confused, Angelbunny set up the umbrella against her trunk anyways. He may as well, since he went through all the trouble of bringing it out and through the grueling effort to open the stupid thing.

He sat out there for a while, just staring at the tree and wondering. Now what was going to happen?

Just before it started raining, Angelbunny went back to the cottage and fell asleep on the rug in front of the fireplace. He was burnt out from all the running and mental strain that day. However, his sleep was a restless one and fraught with nightmares of the future.

He could not wake up until Twilight knocked several hours later as night was beginning to fall...

05/11/2013 (Part 1)

Hello again. This morning I woke a little early. There is this little flower near the base of my trunk and when I woke up it was still closed. I spent the next few hours just watching it. It was amazing. Since I became a tree, I don’t have anything I have to do anymore so I was finally able to watch a flower bloom. It took the longest time but I watched and urged it on. Then, when it finally bloomed, it was this beautiful pink flower.

I couldn’t help it, I just kept watching and saw it drink the morning dew on its leaves and petals and then we both just started taking in the sun. There is something so invigorating about the sun. I know plants need it to live but I had no idea that it was sooooo relaxing. It was a good morning.

Angelbunny came to visit again. He has been coming by every few days since he figured out I became a tree. But lately, he has been coming by almost every day, working tirelessly by my roots. It all started happening since those ponies started showing up at my old cottage. Twilight has been coming by with Applejack to look after my animals every day and night since…but this past week, Twilight has been bringing these other ponies I haven’t seen before to my cottage. Since then, Angelbunny keeps coming by every day and digging.

I think he is building a burrow. Oh how nice that would be! Every day I wake up to the flowers blooming, the birds singing, and now Angelbunny nestled with my roots. But why would Angelbunny be making a new home under me? I mean, I guess he has the cottage now so why this new home? Maybe it’s just a vacation home for when he is feeling lonely. That’s sweet.

Well, I guess I should stop putting it off. I did not really want to talk about that night from a month ago when Twilight came back to my cottage with my friends but I guess I can now. It just sometimes feels like I’ve become an even larger burden now that I am a tree.

***

That night, when Twilight came back with my other friends, they were panicked. Right away I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. First they all went into my cottage and I wasn’t sure what they were doing but it looked like they were in every room. I saw each one of my old cottage’s light turn on. At least it looked like Applejack took care of my animals when she was looking around the yard.

Thinking back, I guess I should’ve realized they were looking for me. It’s just that I didn’t yet know I was lost because I was right here. But I guess it makes sense that they would think I’m lost because no one besides Angelbunny knew I was a tree.

I only realized that they were looking for me after Angelbunny led them out of the cottage. I was wondering what my friends were doing in my cottage when all of a sudden, the front door flew open and they all came running out with Angelbunny in the lead. Angelbunny was leading them to me.

When they got to me, Angelbunny started to furiously point at me. I still wasn’t sure what was going on at that moment but I knew something was wrong. They all look so worried and even Pinkie Pie, who was always so bouncy and cheerful, was hanging her head and trying to choke back tears.

Twilight stepped forward and looked around on either side of me. It was what she said next that broke my heart…

“Why are we here, Angelbunny? We’re wasting time, we’re supposed to be looking for Fluttershy! Dear Celestia, please let her be alright…Come on girls, we need to find our friend. We don’t have time for games.”

With that, they ran off. Angelbunny hopped up and down angrily for a few seconds, never turning his paw away from me, but it was no use. He eventually gave up and let his ears droop in defeat. I barely noticed that though because of what Twilight just said. Her words finally made me realize what was going on.

My friends didn’t know I was a tree. They were worried. They were crying. It was all my fault…

How could I have been so stupid and selfish? Here I was, enjoying my days, acting like nothing was wrong but I didn’t think about what it would mean to everyone else if I became a tree! First the animals had no one to care for them, now my friends thought I was missing! What else? What other wrongs have I done by only thinking of myself? I should’ve been the element of dumbo-ness. All I am is a big dumbo.

But then I felt something at the base of my trunk. Angelbunny was hugging me. Despite everything, Angelbunny still supported and loved me. I was so touched at that moment, it made me forget my sadness for a while. But it wasn’t completely gone. It isn’t easy to forget about all the lives you ruin.

I watched in silence and sadness as my friends continued their search. Angelbunny sat next to me watching and shaking his head. It truly was gut-wrenching for me to see them. They were running around, yelling my name, wondering where I could be. As the night dragged on, they became more worried and frenzied. They all gathered outside of the Everfree forest.

At that point, my (heart?) raced. I didn’t want them to go in there. It was much too dangerous. I longed to call out to them, to tell them I was here, that I was okay but I couldn’t make a sound.

Pleaseeee, I begged, Don’t let them go in there.

Maybe something heard me, at least I’d like to think so, because they didn’t go in. At first it looked like they were. Twilight started to, but Applejack held her back and pulled her away. Instead, Rainbow Dash flew up and went over the trees, yelling my name.

At some point, they finally left.

***

That night I wept. I’m not even sure if I ever went to sleep, I just had too much on my mind. When I became a tree, I was only thinking of myself. I should have been thinking of everyone else. I was the element of kindness, but what I was doing to my friends was anything but. Maybe I could turn back into a pony? Maybe, in the morning, they’d come by again and find me asleep on my couch, snuggled close to Angelbunny. Celestia knows they probably wished that would be the case. Then they would joke around and be a little angry but really just be relieved I was safe. I’d apologize and everything could go back the way they were. I would forget all this tree business and be happy with my life.

But that wasn’t the case. As much as I willed, I couldn’t turn back. Was this some kind of joke? Being a tree was supposed to be a miracle, all I have ever wished for. Instead, it was this. I had only been a tree for a short while and there was the joy and beauty but there was so much more pain and sadness than I have ever felt before. In such a small time period too! Was being a tree always going to be like this?

I continued to ponder and weep. Angelbunny had already gone back to the cottage at this point. The tears made time pass by so quickly. Before I knew it, it was morning again.

Fate is cruel. Just as I was finally calming down, my friends returned. Of course one of them would have to come back to care for the animals but more than one came. All my friends were there, and with them...it looked like half the town at least.

Author's Note

Missing Pony Report

Fluttershy

Missing From: Ponyville, Equestria
Missing Since: 04/04/2013
Classification: Missing
Age at Disappearance: 4 (Source)
Sex: Female
Race: Pegasus
Height: 3'11'' (Source 1) (Source 2)
Weight: 84 lbs (Source)
Mane: Pink
Coat: Yellow
Eyes: Blue
Cutie Mark: Three Butterflies
Clothing: N/A

Details of Disappearance
Disappeared from her cottage on the edge of the Everfree forest, Ponyville, Equestria on the evening of 04/03/2013.

Her friend (name withheld) noticed her missing when Fluttershy's pet bunny was found in town hungry around noon on 04/04/2013. The friend in question went to Fluttershy's cottage and found the door unlocked, all the animals starving, and Fluttershy nowhere to be found.

Fluttershy left all of her belongings, including clothing, animals, and money behind.

Reported to be very shy and timid so caution must be used when approaching so as not to alarm her. Known to frequent the Everfree forest.

If you have any information in regards to this case contact either directly or by scroll:
Ponyville Police Department
or
EQ Center for Missing Ponies - 24 Hour Tip Line

-- Every Missing Pony is Somepony's Child --

05/11/2013 (Part 2)

The entire Apple family was there, Pinkie Pie brought the Cakes from where she worked at Sugarcube corner, the police, and even ponies I didn’t know. The Mayor came with them too. They all gathered in front of me and the Mayor began to speak.

She said that they were all here to look for me. Again, the waves of sadness and regret took me but this time I didn’t have Angelbunny to comfort me…Twilight then came center and addressed the group, telling them when I was suspected missing and about where I was last seen. She told them time was important and that she didn’t want to lose a friend. My tears swelled.

The Mayor then broke the ponies into different groups. The Pegasus were divided into pairs and flew out in every direction, with most of them flying out over the Everfree forest. Groups of four ponies each were then sent into the Everfree Forest. The mayor said that even though a pony was missing, for the protection of others and so no more went missing, groups had to have four ponies, two Unicorn and two Earth, and had to remain in sight of another group at all times. The remaining ponies were to form a long line shoulder to shoulder and started slowly walking towards the Everfree forest with their eyes on the ground, searching for any signs of me.

All I could do was watch in silence. The ponies took to their roles and headed out. Rainbow Dash took the skies and nearly left her partner behind, she was going so fast. Applejack and Twilight went into the forest and Rarity and Pinkie Pie stayed behind, searching for clues. There were young fillies there too, like Applejack’s and Rarity’s little sisters, but they mainly ran errands and weren’t allowed into the forest.

To be honest, I was touched by what they were doing for my sake but I was also covered with guilt. It was as if each leaf on me was inscribed with sadness, guilt, regret, and pain. The burden was heavy but all I could do was hold it and watch with silent tears that only I could see and feel.

Only an hour into the search, there came back a few ponies in a commotion. It seemed like they found something. An Earth pony with an auburn mane and mint colored coat found something with his group. He was bringing something back with him in my direction, probably taking it to show the mayor who was near me. Twilight and Applejack came galloping out to see what it was. Pinkie Pie was still busy searching for clues of my disappearance but Rarity noticed what was going on and started making her way over.

When Applejack and Twilight got here with the Earth pony and showed the mayor what he found, I gasped. At least, I would have if I had a mouth…What they were looking at was my torn umbrella. The one that Angelbunny brought me that day it was going to rain. The one that blew away and torn itself up on the foliage around the Everfree forest.

They argued about it. Twilight said that something must have happened that day during the storm but Applejack said that she thought Twilight had said I was missing before it started raining. Maybe Fluttershy got sidetracked and wasn’t missing until after it started raining; Fluttershy forgetting to feed her animals is like grass forgetting to grow; What if she did feed them and Angelbunny just wanted a snack but Fluttershy was shopping; You said it yer’self, the animals were hollering like they were starving; But then…maybe she was outside and brought her umbrella just in case; I don’t know, but maybe; Fluttershy is a cautious pony, it could happen; But there is just so much about all this that doesn't seem right…

They continued like this but eventually agreed on something: I was missing and the umbrella was connected. How I wished I could have told them how wrong that was. I was right next to them and that umbrella was just a coincidence. But I couldn’t do those things, I was a tree.

Rarity arrived with her sister, Sweetie Belle, as the two continued to figure out how the umbrella was connected to me. I guess the mayor wanted to avoid trouble so she broke them up and asked them about what could have torn the umbrella up. They both looked it over and then came to the same conclusion: Timberwolves. They claimed Timberwolves dragged me away.

I wish they would’ve said anything but that, especially in front of Sweetie Belle. She started crying right there. The crying seemed to break Twilight and Applejack out of their concentration. It seemed like they never realized that Sweetie Belle was there. They immediately rushed over to try to comfort her but Rarity shooed them away and did her best to do the comforting. The mayor gave Applejack and Twilight a glare and they looked around guiltily.

From behind me, I saw that the crying got the attention of Pinkie Pie. She started making her way over here with a hurried pace. Then I saw who was following her and I wanted to scream again. Applejack’s sister, Applebloom, and her friend, Scootaloo, were coming too. I wanted them to turn back. I didn’t want the sorrow to spread but then…well, I guess it wasn’t the fillies I should’ve been worrying about.

When Sweetie Belle’s friends saw that she was crying, they rushed over and asked her what was wrong. She sobbed and told them what Twilight and Applejack said: That I had been taken by Timberwolves. She pointed at the torn umbrella that Applejack still held in front of her. Twilight quickly used her magic it to through it behind her and hide it but the damage was done. I saw that they were heartbroken. They all know how fierce Timberwolves can be. But Applebloom and Scootaloo remained strong for their friend. They held back their tears and helped her up and away.

Rarity gave them a look and Applejack and Twilight looked away, now feeling even more guilty and reprehensible. She was about to leave with the children when she caught sight of Pinkie Pie. I had only just noticed what she was doing too. Pinkie Pie was just staring out into space. I followed her gaze, and saw she was staring straight at the torn remains of the umbrella that were behind Twilight. She just kept staring.

Now the other ponies there were starting to get worried too. Pinkie Pie wasn't responding to anyone. The mayor also spotted at what she was looking at and then moved to remove the umbrella. This was probably the worst thing she could have done.

Pinkie Pie snapped. She just broke down right there. I never knew she was like this. She always seemed so happy, so perky and bouncy, like nothing could cloud her skies. What a fool I was. Out of everyone, I should’ve known. Pinkie Pie was the most like me. We both had rough childhoods and sad histories. But I guess I always had Rainbow Dash to help me and worked through my pain. Pinkie Pie never had anyone. She was alone as a child so she learned to hide her pain behind her smile. She never wanted to be alone again so she always through parties and acted happy to keep her friends. I should have realized how fragile she was. Stupid. I’m stupid, a dumbo! Why did I have to make such an evil wish?!

Pinkie Pie was friends with everyone. She had to be. It was what kept her sane. The umbrella was the last straw. She was holding on to me, believing I was still alive, just lost. Now, the umbrella…now the light was gone. Her hope, snuffed. She thought she lost a friend, and now…we’ve lost her.

It was so sudden. She collapsed right there. Her legs just buckled under her. As soon as it happened, everyone rushed over. The mayor immediately started giving orders. She told Rarity to take away the children and ordered Applejack and the mint Earth pony to run as fast they could and find Nurse Redheart. But they were all paralyzed, stunned. I was too. I didn’t know what was going on, what had happened. All I knew was that it was bad…and it was all my fault.

But the mayor slammed her hoof down and it broke the spell. Rarity began herding away the scared fillies, trying to obscure their view of what was behind them. Applejack and the other Earth pony ran off to two different directions, yelling for Nurse Redheart. Twilight looked around confused, unsure of herself. She started stuttering and the mayor had to shake her out of it. Twilight calmed down enough to say that she thought it would be best if she ran off to get the Cakes since they were practically Pinkie Pie’s family.

It must have only taken a minute or two before Nurse Redheart came back with some other medical ponies but it felt like forever. I watched Pinkie Pie from where I was rooted. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She was my friend, and this is what I have done to her. What kind of “friend” was I? Could I even be called hers or anyone else’s friend after all this?

She just laid there, now on her side and shaking a bit. Her mouth was slightly open and drool started leaking out. The mayor didn’t notice, she was trying to talk to her, to maybe sooth her, or failing that, cover her to stop the shaking. The glow that always seemed to follow Pinkie Pie was gone now. All that was left was a shadow. But what will always haunt me are her eyes.

They were always so full of life. Blue as the sky she would always be hopping into, trying to put her head even further into the clouds. But now…I have never seen anything so empty. It is like she just gave up on everything. They were so defeated. I can only imagine what was going through her head. She must’ve thought that if she lost one friend, she was going to lose them all and be alone again. It just broke her.

All my fault…

A crowd was already forming by the time Nurse Redheart and the other medical ponies arrived. So much was happening all at once. It was so very confusing. It wasn’t long before Mr. and Mrs. Cake arrived. They went into a panic, as if it was their own child laying on the ground like that, and it may as well have been. Pinkie Pie was practically their over-aged daughter.

By Celestia’s mane! What happened? – Mr. Cake – Nurse, nurse! Is she going to be alright? – Mrs. Cake – What’s going on over here; Hey what happened; Is everything okay; Did someone find Fluttershy; Dear Celestia! Is that Pinkie? – Please, people, give me some space! We need air! – Nurse – For the love of Celestia ponies, give them room! – Mayor – Mayor, we need to move her to the hospital. – Make a corridor people; Get her on the stretcher; First a missing pony, now this? – Come on people, back to searching, there’s nothing to see here.

So many ponies, so many people speaking at once. I have never seen so much confusion and panic. I guess ponies don’t need “his” help to create discord. All of this…because of me.

I didn’t become a tree, I became a monster.

***

I’m sorry. I’m done for today.

Author's Note

Official Use
Ponyville Hospital
Patient Tracking System
District of Equestria

Doctor: Dr. Benign
Case #: P-04042013

Identification Data
Patient Number: 4-4
Name: Pinkamena Diane Pie
Address: N/A
DOB: Unknown
Age: 4
POB: Unknown
Sex: Female
Race: Earth
Mane: Pink
Coat: Pink
Eyes: Blue
Height: 4'7''
Weight: 165 lbs

Special Handling Details: N/A

General Remarks:
Subject is comatose. Unresponsive to any interaction. Requires aid to use bathroom and in feeding. Suspected mental defense mechanism triggered in response to being confronted by possibility of losing a friend. Unable to treat such a case in Ponyville. Not equipped to handle mental cases. Recommend relocating patient to Canterlot Asylum and medication.

Case Information
Subject was brought in by Nurse Redheart and the Cake family. Pinkie Pie was in the fields near Everfree forest aiding other volunteer rescue workers search for a missing pony. Witnesses state that she suddenly collapsed after seeing the torn umbrella of her missing friend.