A Riddle by Nature

Chapter 1: Having the Rhyme of My Life

David

Everything started on my twenty-fifth birthday, the date may second, my name’s David, by the way or…it was. That night I wasn't planning anything special, I was just spending it like I normally did: get a few drinks then spend some time with my best friend Ashley. She wasn't only my best friend but she also shared my birthday. Anyway, I was taking a celebratory drink at the exact moment of my birth when I had a really weird vision. The series finale of My Little Pony. I had always been a brony even after the horror that ended season five.

In the finale, Zecora had run out of the Everfree Forest with an odd looking tribal spear held in her hooves, feeding her gold tinted magic.

“Discord you treacherous Draconequus get out here and fix this mess!”

The mentioned villain appeared in a puff of green smoke, smiling.

“Well, if it isn't little miss witch doctor herself”, he glares at the spear, “with a little magical boost to help her along”.

Zecora’s eyes flashed from turquoise to gold and she shouted, “Bring back the others you horrible being or a prison of stone is all you’ll be seeing.”

Discord rolls his eyes. “What with that?” He snaps his fingers and the spear crumbled to dust. “I can’t believe you thought you could beat me with some little trinket”.

Zecora smiled and said, “No you dunce that was just a distraction, now turn around for…”

A voice from behind Discord screams “…SOME REAL ACTION” an orange manned Pegasus in a Wonderbolts outfit rams Discord at full speed.

Discord hit the ground before saying “Ah, Spitfire I wondered where you got off to after I banished the rest of your little sport group.”

Spitfire’s eyes flared with rage as she shouted, “BRING BACK MY FRIENDS YOU FIEND!”

Discord smiled and said,“I know I’ll send you to them, oh and don’t worry stripes you’re next. Five score divided by four…”

At that point the barkeeper had noticed me staring into space and asked, “Hey buddy are you alright?”

The question snapped me back to reality. “Yes I am fine dear barkeep, now there is someone whom I must go seek.” I walked out of the bar without even noticing what I had said, or the look on the guys face. When I reached Ashley’s house I had a terrible itch on both my thighs, choosing to ignore it I knocked on the door to Ashley’s house. Now a few things about Ashley, she’s a real tomboy. I mean, I've never actually seen her in anything other than jeans and a t-shirt. Also she’s a pegasister, one of the only ones to survive the mass extinction that was the series finale. I mean, while Zecora was my favorite pony it’s odd that the series would end with her and Spitfire.

Ashley opened the door. “David! Right one time as always soldier.” Ashley always called everyone soldier, or general, or sergeant, she used a lot of military terms.

“Greetings and congrats on your twenty-fifth year, and of course I’m on time there was no need to fear.” I said, still not noticing the couplets coming out of my mouth.

Ashley rolled her eyes. “Oh David you always did love Zecora, but never mind that it’s cake time.” You see, Ashley and I had basically grown up together and a few years into college we decided that instead of presents each year one of us would bake a cake or some other dessert instead. It was Ashley’s turn and this time it was chocolate cake, my favorite.

After a few minutes I excused myself to check out that itch. “Excuse me for being so upfront but I must investigate an itch on my rump.”

She looked at me a little oddly before saying “Oook.”

When I got to the bathroom I pulled my jeans down a little and when I saw the itching spot I said the only logical thing. “AAAAAAHHHHHH!!” On my thigh was a black spiral sun…a cutie mark…Zecora’s cutie mark…on my thigh.

Ashley ran into the room with a worried expression on her face. “David what’s wrong!?!”

I looked at her and said, “I checked out that itch and to my horror I found the cutie mark of Zecora.”

She stared at me blankly. “You got a tattoo?”

I rolled my eyes at her. “No I did not get a tattoo my friend this somehow appeared on my rear end.”

I showed her the mark and she said. “Well that’s not a tat for sure but how did it…wait. You said you found it looking for an itch? Hang on a second.” She ran out and a few seconds later I heard a piercing scream“Yaaaahhhh!” When I ran out of the bathroom I saw the problem on both of her thighs. It was a cutie mark of a Phoenix in flight…Spitfire’s cutie mark.

"Oh my gosh that's Spitfire's mark! What could have caused this thing to start?"

Ashley glared at me. "Will you stop rhyming?! This isn't funny!" She saw the confusion in my eyes. "Wait, you weren't rhyming on purpose?"

I just rolled my eyes. "I still don't know what you’re talking about, but my words aren't rhymes without a doubt!"

Now she was looking worried. "David, you are rhyming. Please, you have to listen to yourself, you're starting to scare me."

I sighed, "Alright then I’ll listen this time but I still don't think I’ll hear a rhyme." I jumped when I realized what I was doing.

"Wait, can I get this thing to stop? Maybe if I concentrate a lot?" Now I was worried. "Sorry Ashley I can't control this shit and now I’m seriously worried about it."

Ashley started pacing around the room. "Fine just let me think for a second, what the heck is happening to us? I got Spitfire's cutie mark and you've got Zecora's, not to mention there's this rhyming thing you have going on".

I frowned, "You know, I think it's subconscious all I do is talk and it just comes out like this."

She just said. "David this isn't funny! I-I mean what if this is somethin else, maybe it's not just a joke."

"Ok," I said scratching my head. "I have no idea what you mean by that, could you please clarify what you're gettong at?"

"I mean what if this dosen't stop, what if we actually become Ponies, or, a pony and a Zebra." he said shaking her head.

I thought this over, it was one thing for tattoo's to end up on our thighs, but I couldn't stop rhyming. That was a sign of mental tampering, or else I had gone insane.

"Well the tattoos are one thing but the rhymes are another, and if this continues to progress...oh brother." I slapped my forehead.