A Riddle by Nature

Chapter 10: Daily Show Ponies

Spitfire

It wasn’t long after the meeting in the lobby and the three of us were in on of the Daily Show’s waiting rooms. We were waiting for Jon stewart or the shows producer to show, possibly with the FBI. Needless to say I was a bit nervous.

"I really hope we're not about to be arres-"

I was cut of when Jon Stewart entered the room followed by several people with clipboards. He had a look of utter shock on his face as he saw us. I guess you have to see it to believe it.

I introduced us. “Hello mister Stewart, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts, this is Soarin’ my second in command and this is Zecora my..”

I stopped when I realized that back in Equestria I had only met Zecora once at a very peculiar Grand Galloping Gala. I had gone to her for help because Rainbow Dash had told me about her but I hadn’t really known her. I had only known David not Zecora and I wasn’t Ashley anymore.

“..friend.” I finish avoiding the Zebras eyes as I glanced back at her.

I tried to push the thought out of my mind as I trotted up to the still shocked host and said, “You know, I’ve always been a big fan of your show. ”

Soarin chuckled and said. “Don’t go all fanfilly on him already, Spits! Give him a second to recover!”

I laughed a bit myself and smiled at the host before continuing. “So, are you gonna give us the interview or did we already get the next show?”

The man finally managed to collect himself and said. “Uh, sorry, when they said that talking horses were asking to get on the show I thought it was some kind of joke.”

“Nope, no joke,” I explained, “we’re trying to get in the daily show and we didn’t know how else to schedule an interview. And we’re ponies by the way, not horses.”

“Alright,” He grabbed a chair and sat down, one of the assistants handed him a clipboard. “Thanks.” He wrote a few things down and handed back the clipboard. “We couldn’t get anyone for today thanks to that incident in Canada so we were just going to play a prerecorded interview with Lady Gaga.”

I saw Soarin’ wince and he said. “How did that go?”

He just shrugged and said. “Could’ve been worse. Anyway the show starts in an hour so is there anything you three need?”

I smirked and said. “Yeah, how goods your wardrobe department?”

Soarin rolled his eyes and said. “Spitfire go easy on them, we don’t have to go all out on what we wear for this. I mean, getting the flight suits back would be nice, but we could probably get away with just our uniforms. You know, like the ones shown back in season three.”

“Good point, and don’t talk about Wonderbolts Academy, ok?” I hated that episode.

“Oh!” One of the assistants in the back said. “You mean those military-like uniforms you wore in Wonderbolts Academy, and the one Soarin’ wore in that one snapshot in the Canterlot Wedding?”

Soarin’ chuckled and said. “Looks like we got a fan among us, Spits. I’m gonna go ahead and congratulate you on holding back.”

The assistant blushed and said. “I just...got into it when I watched it with my little sis.”

I walked up to him and said. “I don’t think anyone will ever make fun of a brony or pegasister ever again after this.”

He smiled and promised to get the designs to the costume department, warning that they would probably come up to take measurements, and left with the others.

At the mention of measurements soarin’ said. “Oh man, this is gonna be awkward.”

Zecora, who had been quiet this whole time, chuckled and said. “It’s time like this that make me glad, that I already found what clothing I had.”

“Well,” I said smiling. “That was easy.”

“Yes, probably thanks to Soarin’s argument,” Zecora said with a smile. “and I haven’t seen any government.”

“Yet,” Soarin warned. “They might arrive in the middle of the show.”

“Well I have a surprise for the government folk,” She took out one of her pouches and said. “A package full of poison joke.”

Soarin frowned and said. “Okay, two things. One, where did you even get that? Two, no. If you throw that at them, it’ll just prove their point -- that we’re something to be afraid of. We’re here trying to prove them wrong, not give them another reason to go after all of us.”

Zecora looked away shamefully and said. “One, I mixed up plants in the earlier days. And You’re right I’m sorry I fell back on old ways.”

Soarin placed a hoof on her shoulder and said. “It’s alright this is a fairly stressful time for all of us.”

After a few more moments Zecora said. “Thank you Soarin’ for your understanding, and also for how well this situation you’ve been handling.”

He shrugged. “I got my panicking out when I started transforming. Decided it would be to much of a pain to panic anymore afterwards.”

I smiled and said. “Well since that’s cleared up I guess we have to move on to our next challenge which is..” I gestured to the door, where the costume team was standing. “wardrobe.”

It was, as Soarin’ put it, awkward. The team of costume designers hadn’t believed we were real either, so there was that, Then they had to get around the fact that they needed to design something with room for wings. And finally, they either had no idea, or no care, for how sensitive a Pegasi’s wings are. So yeah awkward.

“Ok,” I said after the ordeal was over. “If pretty sure fittings weren’t that awkward back in Equestria.”

“Hopefully it means we’ll be going on soon.” Soarin’ said.

“Yeah, how do you think the audience will react once we go on?” I asked smiling deviously.

“TEN MINUTES TO SHOWTIME!” Someone called from outside.

“Thank you ten!” I looked at Soarin’ slightly confused. “Uh, it’s something I picked up here in drama club.”

“Why Soarin’ I didn’t know you were into the fine arts!” I teased as we trotted out the door towards the costume rooms. We skipped the make-up, I doubt it would mix with fur, instead we got a quick grooming.  It took me a little to get into my uniform, and after that we waited off stage for our cue.

“So, you two ready to reveal ponies to the world?” I asked excitedly.

“Yes, in fact I’m quite excited, that we are about to be spotlighted.” Zecora said smiling.

“It’s just gonna be a bigger audience than I’m use to,” Soarin’ grinned. “I wish I could see my friends faces when they see this though!”

Onstage Jon Stewart finished up his introduction. “Ladies and Gentlemen as you know from the news and various videos on YouTube, there has been a rather strange phenomenon occurring around the world. There have been reports of ‘ponies’ being seen. Whether or not these accounts are real is still up for discussion. Or, at least, they were, until earlier today when, completely by surprise, three of these ponies arrived here and made a very convincing argument to guest star on this show tonight. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce Spitfire, Soarin’ and Zecora!”

The three of us trotted onto stage to heavy applause, and took our seats.

So far so good.  I thought.

“What are you idiots clapping for?!” Someone in the back shouted.

Spoke too soon.

The man continued his yelling. “These, these, thingsare a danger to us all! If we stay here we’re all going to become one of them.”

“No, you won’t” Soarin’ said in annoyance. The mics were hidden on my and Soarin’s uniforms and I think Zecora’s was in her necklace.

“But-” The man tried to continue

“No.” Soarin’ said. “It’s not going to happen unless you meet a very specific requirement. First, if you weren’t born on the week of may first, your fine. Second, if you didn’t turn twenty-five that week, your fine. And finally if you haven’t started changing at all yet, then it’s not going to happen to you. Ever.

The man sat back down, grumbling to himself, and Jon Stewart said. “Well, with that out of the way, lets start the interview, shall we?”

“Sounds good to me.” I was just glad that they didn't let people bring phones in here. Although the FBI had probably already seen us.

“Ok, obvious first question but, you three are talking ponies, from a Tv show for kids, who are now on earth. Would you mind telling us a little about yourselves?”

“Guess I’ll start.” I said with a smile. “I’m Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts, and one of the fastest fliers in Equestria. I’m from Cloudsdale and when I wasn’t performing or on a mission or training new recruits I was either visiting with family or friends or spending some time in Cloudsdale or Los Pegasus.”

Soarin’ chuckled. “Sheesh spits, give ‘em your whole life story while your at it why don’t ya’”

“Alright Soarin’, why don’t you tell these fine people a little bit about yourself then?” I smirked.

Soarin’ grinned. “Brag about myself? If you insist. Alright, I’m from Cloudsdale to, for those of you who don’t know, it’s a floating city in Equestria. No I’m not kidding Mr. Stewart. A floating city. I’m co-captain of the Wonderbolts, which makes me one of the fastest fliers as well. I tend to take things easy as much as I can, because outside of flying for the team, I’m to lazy to work harder than necessary. That’s pretty much it really.”

Jon Stewart nodded his head and said. “And you miss?” He gestured towards Zecora

She smiled and began. “The name Zecora is how I am known, and in the land of Zebgypt I was grown. A land far beyond the Everfree, it was never very appealing to me. And, after some incidents I’d rather not mention, I came to realize destinies intention. I traveled forth from the place of my birth, and crossed many, many miles of earth. Until I reached Equestrian soil, and there for ten years I did toil, in the Everfree, hidden away, from the ponies I met on my very first day. They feared my appearance, so it would seem, or at least that’s what I gathered from their screams. Until a little filly by the name of Apple Bloom, came to me ignoring what the others did assume. And she was the one who helped them all see, that there was nothing evil about me. And since that day I lived in peace, until I got sent here, at least.”

There was a pause after Zecora stopped talking. But soon, every member of the audience even the one guy from earlier, started applauding.

“Ok,” Jon Stewart said with a smile. “That was amazing. Do you always talk like that?”

“If to to my rhymes you do refer, then they are normal I assure. I can’t seen to stop them even if I try, but then again, why would I?”

I noticed Soarin’ frown and rub his temple but didn’t think much of it as Jon Stewart asked another question. “So you two mentioned being members of the Wonderbolts? What exactly are the Wonderbolts?”

“Well,” I said. “we’re part of Equestrias military, think air force, but we’re also a sports and air show team, kinda like those Blue Angels I’ve heard about.”

“Yes and you gave a little show over in Rockford didn’t you?” He said with a smirk.

“I guess, figured the publicity would be good.” I shrugged.

“Actually I think we have the footage, could we pull that up?” The video of me and my aerial spectacle over Rockford played on the screen and finished with applause from the audience.

Once the video finished Soarin’ said. “Of course you ended with writing your name in the air. Never could resist that little trick could you?”

I just smiled. “When you find something that works.”

Jon Stewart smiled and continued. “And Zecora, what exactly did you do back in Equestria?”

“Back home in Equestria I was a brewer of herbs, and I made to enchant them with Zebrican words.

Our host looked confused for a moment then said. “Wait, were you a witch doctor?”

Zecora smiled and said. “I understand where everyone keeps getting that notion, and yes I am a maker of potions.”

“So,” He continued. “A Zebra, witch doctor and two Pegasi aerial performers who are also captains of as I understand it, a specialized branch of the military?”

“That about sums it up.” I said smiling.

“Ok...obvious question but one that we're probably all thinking. How did you three get here?”

I looked down and said in a rather serious tone. “That’s the million bit question isn’t it? Well I hate to disappoint...Zecora if you would.”

The Zebra nodded and pulled a small pouch from her bracelets. Unbeknownst to Our host and even Soarin’ I had Zecora cook up a little something for this part of the show.

She opened the pouch and poured a small amount of green powder from the open flap. It turned to smoke before hitting the ground. Zecora nodded to me and I began.

“Twenty-five years ago Equestria was at peace. There were no wars and our allies of the Crystal Empire, Griffenhiem, Zebgypt and the many other countries all prospered as under Celestia’s sun and Luna’s moon.”

The green mist changed shape to show Equestria in all it’s glory, the sun rising brightly above Canterlot.

“But then everything changed. Discord, the Draconequus lord of chaos, came to Princess Celestia to warn her that a demon had breached the gates of Tartarus.”

The scene became Discord in the palace throne room with Celestia.

“Discord had been the former ruler of Equestria, before the Princesses defeated him with the Elements of Harmony, he had been reformed a few years prior by the Element of Kindness...or so we thought.”

The mist shifted between the Princesses attacking Discord, to the end scene from Keep Calm and Flutter on, to Discord wringing his claws in a dark corner.

“Princess Celestia, worried for her subjects, took no time to call the guard, the Wonderbolts, the Elements, or her sister to face the demon. Discord had gained enough of her trust so that, in her time of need, she took only him to face the demon.”

The audience was completely engrossed in the story and the smoky illusion. I looked over to Zecora and Soarin’ I knew from the looks on their faces that they weren’t looking forward to the next part.

“The Princess and Discord managed to defeat the demon, but in the battle Celestia was grievously injured. She called to Discord to help her and...”

I paused, rage filling me as I continued.

“...And he laughed and told her that he had been looking for the time to betray her all along, then he, he.”

I took a deep breath.

“He pushed the Princess into the volcanic mouth of Tartarus.”

There was a gasp from the audience as the smoke image Discord kicked the Princess into the pit, before laughing and teleporting away.

“What he did next, no pony expected. He made his way to Ponyville, the home of the elements of harmony and, one by one, he banished them to Earth.”

The mist showed him attacking Princess Twilight, then Rainbow Dash, then Pinkie Pie, then...I looked away.

“Next he went after other important ponies. I heard he got Prince Shining Armor and that means he probably got Princess Cadance to. I’m almost certain he got Princess Luna, he got a lot of others to...and then...he got the Wonderbolts.”

The mist changed to a group of Pegasi defending Cloudsdale as the chaos god tried to pin them. One by one he picked them off. I said their names as his spell hit them.

“Lightning Dust, Surprise, Fleetfoot, Silver Lining, Rapidfire, Misty Fly...” I droned on until the only Pegasus left in the smoky image was the one sitting next to me.

Sorin’s image in the mist looked around and, seeing that the others were all gone, flew straight at Discord screaming.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?! YOU SON OF A --”

For five score, divided by four --

Everything went blank as Discord’s spell took over. I looked at the audience, all of whom were in shock and continued.

“I wasn’t with the others that day, I was in Ponyville, trying to find Rainbow Dash Or Princess Twilight or...anypony really,” I shook my head. The place was abandoned. Either already being banished by Discord or having fled the town, the only one I could find was Zecora. She said she had come into town after sensing the energy that Discord’s curse put off.”

The mist showed me and Zecora, talking in front of a demolished town square and at the end of the conversation, shaking hooves before rushing towards the Everfree.

“Zecora used a Zebgyptian artifact that was suppose to grant her magic power and we hoped that with that and the element of surprise, we could do something against Discord.”

The scene was now Zecora, shouting for Discord as the spear drew natural magic into her. Discord appeared in a puff of smoke and from there, my first memory played out.

I saw Discord snap his talons and destroy the spear, taunting Zecora. I rammed him at full speed and his head spun like a top, until he grabbed it and stopped it. Then came the banishment.

I explained all of this to the audience and then said. “And we’ve been here for the last twenty-five years.”

There was silence for a moment, broken when our host said. “...Most of America probably already knows, or at least suspects, the answer to this question but I feel as if we need to hear it, pardon my saying, straight from the horses mouth so...where have you been for the last twenty-five years? How come no one noticed you?”

Zecora answered this question. “For two decades and five years we’ve hidden in plain sight, many guessed that we use to be humans... and they’re right.”

Needless to say, the audience was stunned. Soarin’ was the first to speak up. “She’s not lying. Hardly a week ago, I was a human myself. And I’m fairly certain there are a lot of ponies out there who could testify to the same thing.”

“Yeah,” I said. “If were right then everypony who was banished has lived the last twenty-five years of their lives as a human.”

Jon Stewart thought on this for a moment, then asked. “If you don’t mind me asking, who are you, or were you?”

In all honesty I wasn’t expecting this question. And I had no idea what to say. Fortunately Zecora spoke up.

“While I don’t know what’s on either of my friends minds, I rather not answer questions of that kind.” I could tell she was blushing again.

I was thankful that Zecora had done that, it was still a bit awkward for me to think back to being Ashley despite the whole mix thing that Zecora’s potion did.

Soarin’ however had no such quarrels and answered. “I was going through college back on the west coast to be a game designer. I’m a huge gamer, by the way. Grew up on the SNES, and I haven’t looked back since.”

Hearing Soarin’ talk so calmly about his experience made me realize something. I was NOT going to be upstaged by anypony.

“I’ll go,” I tapped my chin thinking what to say. “I was just working some part time job when this started but I was considering enlisting, and I practically grew up with David-”

I stopped as I realized my mistake.

Our host looked at me, confused, and asked. “Who’s David?”

I was about to try and make an excuse when Zecora spoke up. “Since everypony else shared I guess it’s down to me,” She looked down momentarily before sighing and finishing. “I won’t say much but my name was David you see.”

There was another wave of silence from the audience. Jon Stewart asked nervously. “So does that mean, that’s a boy’s name isn’t it?”

Zecora looked away from the audience. “Yes that name’s male and while it seems unfair, the truth is my transformation made me a mare.”

“Well,” Soarin’ said. “This is Discord were talking about. I’m sorry it happened but you know, chaos is what he does. It’s who he is. So really, unfair it may be, it’d kinda what he’d do...”

Zecora spoke up again. “It’s all fine I’ve accepted this though strange, but please I beseech you, could the subject be changed?”

This gained a small laugh from the audience as well as the host who answered. “Sure, what is it you hope to accomplish now that your ponies again?”

Soarin’ had apparently been waiting to answer this question. “I don’t know about Spitfire. but I’m going to find the rest of the Wonderbolts and my Equestrian friends. Haven’t seen them in twenty-five years, it’s about time for a good old fashioned party...and to find a way back to Equestria, but that’s after the party.”

I smiled. “That pretty much sums up my plan.”

Zecora just nodded in approval.

“Ok, but just one thing?” Our host paused as he looked between us. “How?”

Soarin smiled and stared at him. “Really?” He said fanning his wings. “Really?”

Jon chuckled and said. “Alright I earned that one. Now one last question before we’re out of time. How will your friends and family react?”

Soarin answered first. “I don’t know how my family will react, but this will probably be a nice way of getting started. As for my friends, those who didn’t watch me transform, will probably have already told my other friends.”

I thought for a second and answered. “I’m guessing my friends and family know, or at least suspect, what happened. They did show pictures of us on the news as well as my apartment.”

Zecora frowned and said. “My father will most likely be freaking out, but as for my mother that part I doubt. She always managed to keep a calm head,” She smiled and finished. “and she always wanted a daughter to tuck into bed.”

Jon nodded calmly and paused before turning to the audience and saying. “Thanks you for your time ponies, and I hope you succeed in your goals. Unfortunately, that is all we have time for today, ladies and gentlemen. So I say to all of you, farewell and have a good night.”

The show ended with thunderous applause as the curtain closed. The three of us plus Jon Stewart, walked backstage.