The Letter That Was Never Sent

by Delta 727

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tragedy, Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad
Length: 2588

It nearly took hold of her. The sheer emotional desperation. Discord had nearly broken her, but she seemed to triumph. But had she truly forgotten what he had done to her emotions?

It nearly took hold of her. The sheer emotional desperation. Discord had nearly broken her, but she seemed to triumph. But had Twilight truly forgotten what he had done to her emotions? Had he actually almost managed to break her?

Published 2013-05-13 08:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-22 22:56:54 UTC

The Letter That Was Never Sent

The Royal Library was dark. Silent. The guards had already closed for the night, and locked the door, and all tucked in for the night.

Which meant none of them were guarding it.

It was only a few days after the Discord incident. The damage had been repaired, and Discord was sealed back in stone. Celestia had greatly praised the Elements of Harmony in their success, while to a couple of them it was just another day.

All except for Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle had not been herself. Discord had done things that she had never thought possible. He had not only plunged Equestria into mass chaos, but had tuned her friends into their polar opposites. Which had as well turned her emotions into a downward spiral.

It broke her heart in half.

Even though afterward when she defeated Discord and brought her friends back to their normal selves, she couldn't stop thinking about the despair that she'd felt when her hope was depleted. She felt as though she had failed everypony she knew, and needed some pony to confide in. But she didn't feel ready to talk to any that she knew. Which is why she found herself where she was now.

She had come to the library to write a letter. She couldn't write it in her own, because she would wake Spike, and he would start asking questions she didn't want to answer. After the guards had locked up for the night, she sneaked in. She knew she didn't have to, but if one of the guards saw her they would have notified Celestia, and Twilight wanted no pony to know about what she was writing. Not until she was sure she wanted them to.

She found a small corner in the back of the library, lit a candle, and grabbed a quill, ink well, and sheet of paper. Taking one more glance around the room, she began to write by the light of the candle.

Dear Princes Celestia,

I'm sorry. I failed you and all of Equestria trying to stop Discord. He tore our home apart, and I was helpless. I lost so much that day. My friends, my home... My pride. And when I realized that there was no hope, when my color had faded, my heart broke in two.

I'd never felt so hopeless in my life. I felt like if I were to die right then, it wouldn't have mattered. My friends wouldn't be grieving, because they would've been too busy arguing with each other. All because I wouldn't have been able to turn them back. Even though I was, and still am, perfectly alive, are we really better off now than we were knowing that he could come back any day and do it all over again? Would I be able to stop him twice?

And what about you, Princess Celestia? I know you knew DIscord in the past, and it must have been horrible knowing that he had returned to wreak chaos. Which is why he was targeting me. He must have known that you were tutoring me in magic, so he knew how to hurt us. But worst of all, he succeeded. And what I feel the worst about is that it wasn't your fault whatsoever.

It was mine.

I was too weak to stop Discord. Too ignorant and careless. And I want to apologize for even letting him return in the first place. How could I let something as big as the God of Chaos reawaken? I could have stopped it. Equestria could have been perfectly safe, but my ignorance let Equestria fall into the claws of a Draconequus. And what could I do?

A tear ran down her cheek, and landed on the paper as she wrote:

Nothing.

She wiped her face, and suddenly though about her friends, and complete despair hit her as she wrote the next part.

All five of the ponies that were supposed to look up to me turned on each other. Something was truly wrong with them, but I was too ignorant to notice. I had a chance to stop it, but the realization couldn't get through my thick, egghead skull.

She was openly crying now, and her hoof shook as she began to finish the letter.

What good is being the Element of Magic if magic never solved anything? Discord used magic to destroy Equestria, but I used it to destroy him. Is that all magic can do? Can it only destroy?

It was because of you and the Elements of Harmony that stopped Discord. If it weren't for you, he'd still be loose. I could never have stopped him on my own. There were so many of us that he hurt, and all I could do was cry for myself. Cry like a little filly when my home was being destroyed.

Discord is gone, but the scars he left will never leave. I'm sorry, Celestia.

But your loyal and faithful student has failed you.

Your loyal, but unfaithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

She set down her quill, her quiet sobs echoing through the library. Her tears fell down her face and onto the edges of the paper. She wanted to go back to her own library, curl up in her bed, and cry the night away, to just forget about the letter, but her despair froze her limbs like stone. She felt horrible.

She felt like a true failure.

Twilight heard hoofsteps coming from further in the library, and she looked up, a tear running down her cheek.

Standing in front of her was Princess Celestia. There was no sign of confusion on her face. Only pure pity.

Twilight wanted nothing more than to leap off the ground, to hug the goddess and to never let go. To cry in her heart's despair and to let the Princess comfort her. But she didn't. She immediately took off through the library, galloping out the open door, out of the Canterlot castle, and escaping through the dark streets, crying aloud as she ran away into the darkness.

Princess Celestia didn't chase after her student. She simply laid down on the floor where Twilight had been, and picked up the letter she had been writing. As she began to read, she felt her heart jump into her throat, then fall back down into her stomach. She had never seen her student write such an emotional letter. As she continued to read, tears formed in her eyes, and she too had felt like a failure. She felt that she should have been there for her loyal student, been there to comfort her after the trauma she had been through.

She thought to herself that Twilight was wrong. If it wasn't for her, Discord would have not been stopped. It didn't matter how much Celestia had helped her. If Twilight had not had the will to return her friends' thoughts and to stop not only a Draconequus, but a God, there would have been nothing left between Discord and the destruction of Equestria. Compared to Twilight, the task would have seemed impossible to any other pony. But even with those odds, Twilight took the challenge with full determination.

Twilight was not only a victorious pony, but she was the bravest, strongest, and most willing pony in all of Equestria. Her magic had saved the lives and personalities of all five of her friends. If it wasn't for her magic, she would have failed. And Celestia truly believed that Twilight was the only unicorn in history capable of being called the Element of Magic. Discord had done more damage to her than most ponies would be able to take, but still she remained strong. Even so, Twilight had never felt hopelessness before, and no matter who had experienced it, even the strongest of ponies couldn't handle the feeling of failure. Weaker ponies had lost their lives to it.

Twilight was a stronger pony than Princess Celestia and all of Equestria combined.

With one last despairing sigh, she set down the paper, blew out the candle and left the room, leaving the despairing letter in the darkness.

Twilight and her Royal mentor secretly knew from that night on that things had changed.

Neither of them would ever be the same again.

Candlelight

It Was Your Willpower, Twilight Sparkle

"There's a time in everyone's lives when they realize that someone is slipping away from them, and they might let go forever. But they're not letting themselves go, they're lost in darkness, and just need a light to shine through it to guide them back."

Delta 727

One week after the writing of the letter that was never sent...

The letter.

The old piece of wrinkly paper, soaked from the tears of a pony in need, left alone on a bedside table of the Princess herself. But the Princess was nowhere to be seen. She had left to reveal a truth she should have revealed long ago. A truth that, left hidden, had thrown her student into a hurricane of misery and blame. It was time to tell the truth.

There was a knock on the door to Twilight's library.

"Coming!" Twilight called. "Spike, could you get the door, please?" Twilight was studying over some books in her library, while Spike had been dusting, a pink apron around his body. He put down his broom and ran to the door. A few moments later, when there was no word from Spike, she called out to him.

"Spike? Who's at the door?" Then, she gasped.

Princess Celestia entered Twilight's library, but Spike was nowhere to be seen. Her crown was gone, and the way she walked like any other formal pony, as if they simply were visiting an old friend, and not a student or subject, but her face was a twist of sorrow and pity.

"Princess Celestia," Twilight said, a hint of disdain in her voice. "W-what're you doing here?"

Princess Celestia didn't answer. Twilight knew very well why the Princess came to her library, instead of summoning her to the castle.

Princess Celestia trotted over to Twilight, and laid down on the ground with her, closing Twilight's book in her magic and levitating it back up onto the shelf.

"Twilight, I believe there's something we need to talk about."

"It was nothing, Princess," Twilight tried to reassure her, but Princess Celestia simply held up a hoof to stop her from going on.

"It's not about you, Twilight," she went on. "It's about what I've done to you." Twilight tried to begin to speak, but the Princess continued. "It's my fault. I'm the reason you had suffered for so long. The reason you held in all those emotions. You shouldn't feel guilty for what happened, Twilight. For what I did wasn't meant to help you."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

"I didn't send those letters in hopes to restore you, Twilight. I'd had no idea what Discord had done to you at the time. Neither did Luna, or the guards. It wasn't even on a whim. The truth is, Twilight, Discord had gotten to me too." Twilight gasped, and Princess Celestia just nodded. "He put a cloud over my thoughts. He twisted them. My memories and feelings of Luna, of Equestria," she paused. "Of you."

Twilight's face was full of pity for her mentor. "So... Discord made you send all those letters back to me?"

Princess Celestia nodded again. "I had unofficially disowned you, Twilight. I didn't care about all the things you learned, about all I taught you. It was as if I wanted nothing to do with you. I sent back all those letters to throw away every memory I had of you. Discord knew that Luna had been taken from me once already, and that the only thing that was left to take away..." She put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "... Was you."

Twilight's tears were openly flowing now, as she thought back to everything she said in that letter.

Princess Celestia continued. "What I want you to know Twilight is that your letter was wrong. It wasn't me who saved you. It was you. You took what I did and made it into your saving grace. You saved your friends, you saved Equestria, and you saved me."

Twilight sniffled, brushing away a few tears. "Why, Princess? Why would you hide this from me?"

A tear escaped Princess Celestia's eye as well. "Because I never wanted to plant the seed in your mind that I'd disowned you. I knew that after everything you went through, the last thing you needed was the thought of me turning you away. You may have felt like you had lost hope, Twilight, but you didn't realize just how much of it you lost. I am to blame for this, Twilight."

"Oh, Princess Celestia..." Twilight jumped forward and hugged her mentor, her tears and quiet sobs coming in bouts. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I put you through this!"

Princess Celestia gently returned the hug. "It's not what you put me through, Twilight. I came to tell you what you overcame. What you don't realize is that not only did you save us all, you did it all by yourself. All you had to do... Was believe. And with that tiny spark of faith, you moved mountains that day. It was your willpower, Twilight Sparkle, that saved Equestria." Twilight had pulled back from the hug, and stared up at her mentor. "What I always want you to remember, Twilight, is that no matter what happens, not matter how hopeless or broken you are, there's always hope. No matter how broken the world around you is, it can never fully split apart if you're the one stitch still holding it together. Equestria can be exciting and wonderful, but it can also be dangerous and devastating. You need to be ready for that. And when the day comes again that Equestria is taken by darkness, it only takes a single light of a candle to cut through it. I want you to always be that candle, Twilight."

Twilight nodded. "I'll never lose hope in Equestria, Princess Celestia. It's my home, and I won't give up on it." Twilight went back into the hug, and the Princess fully embraced her student, tears freely flowing from her now too.

"I love you, my little candlelight," Princess Celestia said.

"I love you too, my shining sun," Twilight replied.

---

And so, from that day forward, Twilight became the light that Princess Celestia taught her to be. As she predicted, she was faced with devastation time and time again, but each time prevailed. She held onto her faith, her willpower, and overcame any challenged that was thrown her way. As long as Twilight Sparkle believed in herself, Equestria was never defeated. From helping ponies across the street to across dimensions, Twilight powered through each and every challenge. And it wasn't just a lesson for her, but for anypony who felt like they'd lost all hope. Twilight began to pass on her story to other ponies, and they too became candles in the darkness. And one day, those candles would come together and shine a warming light through the cold darkness, never for it to return. And thus, the letter that was never sent became the light that never faded.

Equestria would one day shine brighter than the sun, and darkness would flee once and for all.

The End