Angel in Equestria

by CogWeaver

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Comedy, Romance
Length: 3289

Equestria causes problems for the Heavenly Order of Eternal Reality Systems

God created the Heavens and the Earth…as well as Equusterra, the planet of the ponies. Why He bothered to create a whole planet of sentient equines is any angel's guess, but like ponies don't question Celestia, the angels don't question Him either.
When a mishap occurs in the "Heavenly Order of Eternal Reality Systems," the task of going down to Equestria, Equusterra and remedying the situation falls to a human spirit just returning from a relatively short life on Earth. A human spirit that just so happened to have been a fan of a certain television show about the very same colorful ponies.
Old evils will rise, "new" evils will be fought, and Herald the Angel becomes his own real life self-insert in a compilation of seemingly every bad, mary-sue filled fanfic ever written.
Earn your wings and curse the heavens as Equestria's "Holy War" begins.

***RELIGIOUS DISCLAIMER***
This is just a silly little story, as well as my first. This has no intention whatsoever of offending or altering anyone's beliefs or lack thereof. Just have fun with it.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-13 06:15:53 UTC

1 - Angels in Equestria

Life after death.  It was really real.  My last thought just before the event of my dismissal from Earth was something along the lines of "Well, this is it.  Off into the unimaginable plane of non-existence."  And at the time, part of me was pretty happy with being wrong in that thought.  Seeing loved ones again, seeing 'The Great Work' unfold, heck I even got to go see 'The Big Man Upstairs' at one point.

And then I got the job of being an angel.

I guess I should explain myself before going into this tale of madness.  My name is Herald.  I've decided to drop the last name - no one up there uses them.  Yes, go ahead and laugh it up, whoever will be reading this, I'm an angel named Herald.  I'll have you know that only 5% of my job description was going around and randomly saying "Hark!" to spirits.  Something about keeping moral up or some such reasoning.

The other 95% of my duties entailed acting as a substitute guardian angel for a few people back on Earth, making sure people's records were accounted for as they returned from Earth, and being a gofer for the guys who ran the machines to send people into their bodies upon birth.  Or is it conception?  I can never remember, they're all a bunch of science nerds down there anyway.  But basically, I had a culmination of all the average and lame jobs no other spirit would want to do willingly.  Not saying that I would willingly do those jobs either, I was assigned them just like every other spirit trying out for the position of angel.  The benefits are supposed to be heavenly, no pun intended.

April 22, 2012

So I guess I'll go ahead and begin my writings here.  I'm in a traveling party of eight other angels on a supposedly important mission.  My name is Herald Herzschwarz, though I'm thinking about dropping the last name.  Most up here don't use them, and an angel with a last name that means "black heart" could be kind of weird.

So part of my current job description as a specific type of angel now is to record e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g that happens to me.  Not that I'm complaining, keeping these notes help in keeping myself 'holy' and entitled to the powers granted to an angel - Miracles and the like.  But having to write everything down gets pretty boring, and the time I'm taking just to write what I was just doing could be better spent going and doing something else.  But again, I'm not complaining.  I just have to wonder why other - and by that I mean all - angel classes aren't required to keep journals and such like us.

me see.  Ah, there we go.  Okay, that's pretty cool how it just kind of fades up from the page like that.  Uh okay, right then.

Some of the other guys just told me about mental recordings.  One of the powers granted to us angels is use of telepathic systems.  Writing things through thoughts are just one of the many applications of such powers, and honestly I think I can forgive them for taking my journal after giving me that tip.  Really saves on time now, and I can record things as they happen.  It also allows me to portray my thoughts more easily, and allow me to say things like: if any one of you smart-wings are reading this, you can go to Hell.  No seriously, I wish you a speedy reassigning to the gates of Hell - you must be a pretty bored angel to go and look through someone else's records.  The gates are supposed to be one of the higher-end jobs, a pretty hot spot in the work environment.  Yes, that pun was intended.  I regret nothing.

Wow okay, one of the cons of mental recording shows itself - rambling.  Sorry about that, whoever will be reading this.

I guess I should say what exactly it is I'm doing now.  Well you're never going to believe this if you're a spirit just coming back from Earth, but I'm headed to another world!  A group of us have been selected to go work on a planet called "Equusterra" - a whole new world!  I mean I kind of always dreamed of aliens and such, but I never thought I'd ever get to see some in... Well, not in my life-time, but you know what I mean.  In my existence, I guess I could say.

Anyways, the guys leading our caravan to the planet won't tell us what it is we'll be doing exactly.  Or maybe they are telling us, but I can't make heads or tails of it.  Just things like, "The Heavenly Order of Eternal Reality Systems requires our presence in healing a rift in reality."  I mean, did I go to the right heaven?  Because things keep taking a sci-fi turn for a life in 'the great beyond'.  What does a "rift in reality" even mean to an angel?  Can't someone just snap their fingers and close it up?

The only other thing they've told us is we're gonna be met by someone of pretty high importance before we actually head down to the planet.  That's typical really, our mission is apparently something relatively new, so they'll obviously have someone to ready our spirits - pun slightly intended - before they'd let us down into the alien world.

But man, I'm just too giddy about meeting a whole new sentient race to really care.  This is like Doctor Who type of stuff here.  Actually, come to think of it, a lot of this seems like something out of a

Oh, looks like we're here.  Huh, you know, that planet looks a lot like Earth.  I mean, different land formations and it looks smaller, but it's got that same kind of look to it.  I don't know how else to describe it, even through pure mental writings.

Okay I'm going to have to stop narrating and just record in the moment now.

I put my journal in my bag, sure that the writing would continue even as I put it away.

Future me here, just looking back and writing between the lines.  Interesting, looks like in-present writings are in a story format.  I guess that'll make looking back over my notes more enjoyable.  Rereading over journal entry after journal entry can get pretty dull, let me tell you.

The others began lining up side by side, standing in space at the ready.  Deciding to follow suit, I slipped the bag into my robes and stood at the end next to a taller angel that, like me, had yet to earn his wings.  One of the two leaders walked up and down our line, explaining in greater detail just what we were doing there.

"You seven angels have been selected for a great and honorable task.  This world here, Equusterra, is facing a great disturbance.  The disturbance is so great, it has even disturbed the Heavenly Order itself.  As we said before on the way here, a rift in reality has opened up.  Now some of you might not understand just what we mean by that, so allow this explanation to suffice: This world has seen many evils unique from the demons that can turn up in the heavens and that populate Hell itself.  Sources tell us that this rift in reality, a break in what should happen according to His will, is threatening the creatures of this world, their old demons coming back out to torment them again.  I say creatures because, as a few of you have noticed, well... Look around, the works of God are great and endless in His wisdom."

A few of the angels in line smiled and nodded at this, the rest of us taking the moment to look at his direction at the area populated with alien spirits.  The spirits rushed about and talked with one another just as the human spirits did.  However, unlike the human spirits, they lacked the quality of being human.  Four legs, hair descending down their necks, tails matching their hair coming from their rears, no robes or any clothing to speak of, and unique symbols on their flanks.  My eyes grew wide upon taking in this sight.  Apparently the universe was a lot smaller and closer to home than I had previously thought.

A shorter angel near the other end of the line cleared her throat.  "Excuse me, but you informed us that a spirit of great importance would be meeting us here.  This is correct, yes?"

The speaking leader addressed her by her name, earning a few snickers from the others in line.  "I was told that, yes, Angel.  I am sure that whoever it is, they are simply running a little late from their duties."

"You mean you don't know who it is?" I found myself asking.

He shook his head.  "I was not informed who exactly, but to wait until they should arri--"

At that moment, a large dark shadow shot out of nowhere, crashing into the leading spirit.  The shadow let out a loud shriek, signalling several other shadows to zoom in and attack my fellow beings.  As I quickly looked around, I noticed that the previously surrounding equine spirits had rushed off just before the attack, sensing the danger before anything had happened.

Looking back to my leader, who was in the process of getting his spirit-body completely paralyzed by the large, grinning figure, I saw him make eye contact with me.  I saw something click behind his eyes, a connection made of sudden new orders given to him from afar.  He opened his mouth wide, "FLY!  GET AWAY!"  He, the other leader standing by, and one of the other six spirits at the end of the line had gone down and were beginning to be dragged off by the shadows.  Three of the other angels rushed off back in the way we came, as they were pursued by two more shadows.  Angel rushed through the conflict, zooming toward the planet below.  Trusting my still-fresh human instincts of finding immediate shelter, I and my tall wingless companion followed.

As expected, we began to be trailed by two more shadows, one of them the larger demon who attacked our leader.  I could feel our descent into the atmosphere of the planet, the gravity taking hold, though the air had no effect on our spirit bodies.  Space changed into a dark-blue night sky, the shadows a little more visible against it than they were in the black of the void.

We were chased for many hours, the smaller shadow having lost interest and flown back out into space.  The larger demon was more persistent, however.  Our spirits were becoming weak with zooming around for so long, though me and my wingless companion were mostly relying on Angel, who was no doubt using up miracle power for keeping the two of us in the air while her own wings shook with prolonged strain.

She looked back to us following in her wake.  "I'm so sorry, John.  I can't keep this up.  I can launch you out of the planet's gravity, but you'll have to make it back on your own."

My tall companion nodded, his expression not changing very much from the serious look he carried from when I had first seen him.  He turned back toward the sky, Angel visibly using her power to shoot him up at great velocities.  I had to turn away when the previous smaller shadow ambushed him, not knowing if he was going fast enough to escape or if he got captured.

"I don't know your name," Angel spoke to me, "but I might have to do the same for you if this goes on for much longer.  Once you get out of the planet's range, do not stop and push as hard as you can to get back to the others.  Alert the higher-ups of what happened here so any of us who get captured can be rescued."

I remained silent, distracted by a winged shadow flying toward us very fast.  But unlike the one trailing us, this one didn't drain us of our power and inner-light, but rather began filling us again as it approached.

The shadow became a dark blue equine, feathery wings extending out of her sides and a tall horn from her forehead that glowed brightly.  Her form was strictly physical, so it came as great surprise to both me and Angel as she could not only see us and our pursuer, but also affect us as the glow from her horn surrounded both us and the demon, stopping us in midair.

"THOU ART NOT WELCOME HERE," she bellowed at the shadow, a jet-stream of air visibly escaping her lips, "LEAVE AT ONCE, OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE PRINCESS OF NIGHT, THOU FOUL BEAST!"

The shadow growled and shrieked a few insults in the angelic tongue at the dark princess before releasing itself from the glow and flying back off into space.  The princess watched as it left, snorting out a puff of air as it flew off.  Both my and Angel's jaws had become dislodged, though for different reasons.  I could only guess that Angel was surprised to see a living being have such power over our pursuer, however I was not thinking of such things.  The equine that had saved our lives was the spitting image of none other than Princess Luna, a pony, an alicorn, a being I had previously only thought existed in the fictional world of My Little Pony, purely a creation of mankind's imagination and nothing more.  If spirits had the capacity to faint, I would have done so on the spot.

It must have been the work of miracle-power as I found myself suddenly falling down to the land below, outside of the field of what was no doubt considered 'magic' of the possible princess, and my vision blurring as my mind forced itself to black out.

I regained my senses soon after, finding the three of us on the ground near a thick treeline of a dark forest.  Part of me thanked God that I didn't fall in there.  Angel must have sensed me awaken as she was immediately by my side, helping me up.  I instinctively checked myself for any harm before remembering my lack of a physical body that could gain damage from falling.

The dark alicorn approached us, Angel extending an introductory arm out toward her.  "Herald, this is... Princess Luna.  She's one of the rulers of this land."

I wasn't sure if I was going to faint again or just let out an idiotic babble out of nervousness.  Instead, I gathered all the courage I could muster to make a pleasant smile and nodded my head in greeting.

"Thy kind are not common among us," began Luna.  "We are greatly surprised to see spirits of human form on this earth."

"Y-you know what we are?" I stammered, trying to suppress my excitement as much as possible.

"But of course.  We are the Princess of the Night, and the night sky shines forth many worlds and the suns thereof.  And as co-ruler of this land, we have had many dealings with all manner of spirits in our past.  And because of this prior knowledge of thee, we also know thy purpose here must be great, for thou wast followed by a powerful monster who no doubt had the intention of ceasing thy existence and the work thou wouldst perform here."

It took me a minute to process the 'thees' and 'thous' of her speech - not even us angels talked like that.  Angel filled in for me, "It might have seemed that way, to thine eyes."  Alright, most of us angels didn't talk like that.  "And truth be told we were sent here for a great purpose, but our entry here at this time was unexpected and of more a panicked nature than one full of grace and knowledge of how we should carry out our tasks here.  At this time I think we shall wait for rescue from our sphere before we begin.  As I mentioned before, there were more of us, and we were ambushed by demons much like unto the one chasing us."

Luna nodded in understanding.  "Then thou art free to stay on this land until that time cometh.  We ask that thou remaineth here, however, and not mingle thyselves with the sphere of our kind.  We mean no offense, but most of them have not and never will know what a human being is.  Again with our lack of offense, with what we have heard of your kind in the mortal form, we would have this remain to be the case."

She then began to rise up into the air, about to take off.  "We will remain here at your request.  And we thank thee for thy hospitality!" called Angel after her.

I offered my own thanks before turning to Angel.  "You know you don't have to talk like that.  Only she speaks that way."

Angel raised an eyebrow.  "Not that I'm not relieved to stop that, but how would you know?"

I shook my head.  "It's a long story.  Over a year's worth, really.  Just something from before I passed on.  Judging from the short exchange with Luna here, I think I know this world pretty well for a fresh spirit."  I looked along the treeline that must have no doubt been the mysterious Everfree Forest.  Not far away I found a small cottage with many cages and burrows scattered around it, a path leading down from it and over a small creek.

I pointed toward the structure.  "Like there - If I'm right, there should be a... " I paused as I had to restart my mind from speaking the next word in a very real and literal sense, "... pony living over there that loves animals and loves to care for them."  I pointed to where the path led away from the cottage and disappeared over a hill.  "And if we follow that path, we should quickly arrive at a town where Twi-... I mean, uh... where we can rest our spirits."  It was obvious Angel didn't know much about the ponies, and I wasn't about to unload a past life's interest of a, until recently, fictional world of pastel equines on her.

She gave me a sidelong, confused look.  Then she gave a defeated shake of her head and began heading for the road.  "Fine, let's just get to this town."

I walked alongside her as we ascended the hill in silence.  "So... since we're going to be here for a while, I guess we should get to know each other."  She said nothing as I kept pace with her.

"I know this is probably a personal question, but how long have you been here?  You know, deceased?"

She rolled her eyes.  "At least you aren't asking how I old I am.  Or was before I died.  I passed on five years ago, Earth time.  I was... I was seventeen."

I nodded in interest.  "Seventeen, huh?  A bit early, if you don't mind me saying."  And five years ago, so she wouldn't know anything about this world, just as I suspected.

Her expression grew grim.  "I'll just say that I'm glad our spirits don't have the capacity to look like how we died and our forms are us at our top conditions."

I grimaced slightly, imagining what her death could have possibly been.  "Pretty nasty, I assume?"

She didn't answer as we reached the peak of the hill, a great view of the land stretching out in front of us.  "Well you were right.  A town full of life where we can wait and rest.  Should be interesting seeing these creatures when morning comes."

It was my turn to not answer, my mouth agape at the view.  The town was just about as it was depicted in the cartoon, with a few changes here and there.  Off in the distance was a red barn in front of rows of trees, no doubt Sweet Apple Acres, and mountains further away with a city perched on the side of it, lights shining from the many buildings there through the night.

"Home sweet home," I whispered to myself in awe, before descending down the hill past a sign reading, "Welcome to Ponyville!" in bright letters.