I had awoken on a cold and wet forest floor. It was dark, so dark you couldn't even see the tree trunk you were about to hit if you tried to walk. The canopy was very dense, so that not a single star was visible. The noises were scary, too. They seemed to come from everywhere at once. Low growls and hisses from dangerous and probably lethal predators. And I couldn't even move my body right; to flee, if necessary. All the joints seemed a bit off, somehow.
But the worst was the feeling of utter loneliness. I was scared and alone and I didn't know where I was. I didn't even remember what I did before, I remembered nothing at all. But even then I was sure that I've never felt more alone and scared in all of my life.
The sounds seemed to get closer and closer, and it seemed like hours while I tried to make myself as small as possible. But then, out of nowhere, a small light shone through the trees. It was faint at first, but got stronger and stronger by the second. It symbolized hope, and as such it was able to penetrate even the darkest night and illuminate my somber thoughts. It washed them away like a spring flood a paper boat that a child left behind.
I called out towards the light, and cried for help. It came closer, and I felt happiness again. Then the light revealed Gentle Breeze, a pegasus pony just on a walk. But to me he was like an angel, even the light seemed to form a halo around his head. He helped me up again, and cared for me.
And then, out of nowhere, one of the predator sounds pierced through the air, louder than any other before. It was a loud roar, and it would've frozen my entire nervous system if Gentle wouldn't have been with me. But I clutched him nonetheless.
Gentle hurried, and hustled me to climb on his back, as I didn't know how to work my own wings. We took off into the air and pierced through the canopy, even before the animals down below could get anywhere near us.
Then, from his back, I saw the sun just rising over the trees in the east. It seemed like the first time to me that I saw Celestia's mighty sun rise, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Six years later.
Today was my special day. Gentle Breeze, my soon-to-be husband was all over the place out of nervousness yesterday, but I had managed to calm him somewhat. But I'm not one to talk, I'm very giddy myself! In the six years since we've known each other, I've never seen either of us this excited.
Well, maybe on the first day. He'd found me in the Everfree forest, as I later found out. I still didn't know anything before that, and I wondered sometimes if my family were still looking for me, or if they were still alive. But I couldn't do anything about it.
As was tradition, I hadn't seen Gentle today. Later, I would walk up to him to the altar in Celestia's temple in the higher district in Cloudsdale. We would kiss, and our love for each other would seal our bond. I couldn't keep my wings calm out of excitement, and the bridesmaids who were helping me beforehand had their fair share of trouble getting me to sit still. I listened only with one ear to their gossip, because my attention was purely on the events of later this afternoon.
Carol, one of my bridesmaids, came over to me and put a little bracelet into my hoof. It shimmered golden with the colors of the rainbow, and had the shape of a shooting star.
"Here, a little present from me. It's a good luck charm. I know you'll like it."
"Oh, thank you, Carol. I'd say I'm already pretty lucky without it, but it's very beautiful. Where did you get it?"
"It's something my uncle from Canterlot made. You know, the professor? He's very good with enchantments, so this'll work like a charm. Hehe, like a good luck charm. He said it even wards off evil spells."
"Yes, that's really nice of him! I... Um..."
Suddenly, I was overcome with a strange feeling, accompanied by a slight tingling around the bracelet. It was like... memories. Memories came flooding into my mind, and it made me very dizzy. Those were... those were my memories, from before my amnesia! All at once, it all came back to me. And a horrible realization came over me. I stumbled, as my head felt like bursting all of a sudden, but I managed to stay upright.
"Are you alright? Sky, are you feeling well?"
"I... I'm alright. But I have to see Gentle. Now!"
As I remembered my life before the Everfree, I nearly began to panic. I shouldn't be here! How did I get here? Those were clearly my memories, I now distinctly remembered every occasion, but at the same time, there were also huge discrepancies in those memories. I didn't know what else to do, I just had to speak with Gentle Breeze.
"But Sky, this brings bad luck! You can't go see Gentle now. He'll-"
"This is more important than some bad luck!"
I marched out of the room, leaving my wedding dress and my bridesmaids behind. Only Carol followed me and tried talking me out of it.
"Carol, I... I just have to do this."
"But why?"
At this moment, I burst into the other room, where Gentle, already in his jacket, was talking to his friend Stormy. As he heard me and Carol, he turned towards me, confusion painted on his face.
"Sky? What are you doing here? Doesn't this bring bad luck?"
"I'm sorry, Gentle. But we need to talk. Now. This can't wait till later."
His face got even more confused.
"Why? Did... I didn't do something wrong, did I?"
I smiled at him. He was so very self-conscious at times.
"No, you didn't do anything wrong."
"Then what is this about? How can I help?"
"Gentle, I... I just remembered. I remembered everything."
He immediately knew what I was talking about, and he got an astonished expression. Then he smiled.
"Sky, that's wonderful, isn't it?"
His smile faded slightly as I didn't share it. I was so confused and panicky, so much so that I sniffed and nearly started crying. It was such a mare thing to do.
"That's just it. I-I'm not sure... I don't know what k-kind of pony I am anymore... I... I just don't know..."
Suddenly, I felt his embrace around me. It immediately calmed me. His warm hooves around me provided me with comfort, and his extended wings around us shielded me from any problems I might had to deal with.
"Let's... let's just get home and talk over this...", I mumbled. He nodded, and briefly turned his head to Stormy.
"Don't worry, we'll sort this out. I'll be back later."
He escorted me outside, and always kept a wing over my back. As I was able to realize just what my memories meant, I began to tremble more and more.
We walked over the clouds instead of flying, but this wasn't an issue since our house wasn't very far away. Along the way, he always stayed close to me, and I could lean against him for support. And I really needed it, because I was barely able to stand.
As we reached the house and went into the living room, the worst of my mental confusions and trembling problems seemed over. I had sorted my thoughts again somewhat, but was still a mess. Random streaks of hair even stood up on my head. I just sat on the couch for a moment, and Gentle fetched a hot chocolate from the kitchen. I hadn't even noticed him leaving. But the hot chocolate was just the right thing for me to calm down again. He knew me so well. I took a few sips while he waited patiently.
"You know... this morning, I had no doubts whatsoever about us. But now, that I remember... I... I just don't know how to feel."
He gently stroked my back.
"Is there still somepony waiting for you?"
"No. Well... my family is still alive and well, but... I... I'll never see them again. I-I just k-know that I can never reach them again."
"Why is that? Surely you can fly to them, even if they live at the other side of Equestria. I'll come with you."
Suddenly, I cried out:
"I-I'm not even a pony, Gentle Breeze. I'm an alien! My family is nowhere near Equestria!"
He leaned away from me only a small moment. I know it was only because of my outburst, but it still hurt. He looked at me curiously, but didn't question me. Instead, he came closer again and asked, genuinely curious:
"An alien? Then how did you become a pony?"
"I don't know... Are... Are you not upset that I'm an alien? I lied to you the whole time..."
"No, you didn't. You were in need of help, and I helped. You didn't know any better at the time. And the mare I came to know is sweet and funny and caring. You'd always help somepony if he needs it. It doesn't really matter to me that you weren't always a pony. What matters is what you are on the inside."
"I suppose... You know, I... I don't really mind being a pony, if I think about it, but... on top of that..."
My voice trailed off. How would you tell somepony what I was about to tell him? I was pretty sure that there was close to no precedence. I took another sip of hot chocolate to calm my nerves again. Then I started anew, just saying it out without further thinking to not loose myself in doubt. Even so, I started timidly.
"I didn't use to be a mare. I used to be a... stallion is not quite accurate... but male..."
My voice became very quiet towards the end to the point of being almost not hearable. Gentle looked a bit shocked for a split second before he wore his caring face again.
"So... you not only changed species, but also..."
I pressed my hoof on his muzzle to stop him from completing the sentence and whispered:
"Yes."
He looked like he wanted to say something more, but didn't push it. We sat there a moment in awkward silence. I just stared into my now empty mug, and pondered my feelings. I still loved him more than anything. But at the same time, loving another male now seemed... inappropriate. Wrong, even. To speak nothing of my body, which was now slightly alien to me. I did have six years to accommodate, but the hard clash I just realized now was only lessened slightly.
Then, we heard a silent noise from the door. After a moment, the post mare flew off, right by our window. To get away for a moment, I stood up.
"I'll see what this is about."
I picked up the letter and turned it around. It was from the hospital. I had forgotten all about that. With my eyes fixated onto the still unopened letter, I walked into the living room again. Gentle stood there in anticipation, but didn't want to have the first word. I smiled weakly, and then opened the letter.
"This is from the hospital. These are the results of the test."
Gentle looked a bit shocked. Maybe he thought that I shouldn't read the results in my current condition. Maybe he was right. I dreaded the results, but at the same time, I just had to know them. Now more than ever. It could destroy me, but I didn't know how I would react either way.
"Maybe you should wait to-"
But I already were reading the letter, skipping whole paragraphs to get to the actual results. Then, I found them, and snickered tiredly. It felt like I was part of a sick joke, and fate had a laugh on my expense.
"Is everything alright?"
In this moment, just as I had read the results, my mind became completely blank, and I just stared at the letter for a few long moments. It was like the biggest thunderstorm you could imagine had been raging in my mind, but just like that, it vanished and left the most beautiful landscape behind. I realized that I had made up my mind. It had happened almost on its own, and suddenly, my feelings fell back into place. Now, a bright and warm light filled my mind. With tears I hadn't realized I had shed still on my face, I said:
"Yes. It just seems fitting. Realizing my condition and then this."
Now, he clearly was at a loss of words. I couldn't blame him. He couldn't know if I would break down in tears any moment, and if those were tears of joy or tears of terror. And he didn't know if this would be from a positive or negative result. But before I broke down in tears, I had to make sure of something vital. Cautiously, I asked:
"Gentle... can you accept me for what I am? Do you still love me? Can you still love me?"
For a moment, he was quiet, as if my question had surprised him. Through that almost imperceptibly short pause, I dreaded his answer. But then he had composed himself, and his answer came with the utmost sincerity.
"Of course, Sky. As I said, it doesn't matter to me if you haven't always been a pony, or even a mare. You are the mare of my dreams, and I love you with all my heart. But... if you can't live like this, then I'll understand that. And I'll help you get back your body and your family, if it's that what you want."
"Thank you, thank you so much! I still love you, too, Gentle. With all my heart."
A huge smile was planted on my face, and now that I knew that I wasn't alone, I let my tears flow. He came over to me to pull me into a hug again. And again, I felt safe in his embrace. I sniffed.
"Thank you, Gentle. I'm so happy, so fortunate to have you. I'm so happy."
"Don't mention it."
After a few minutes in a tender embrace that felt only like seconds, we reluctantly parted again. I smiled at him and dried the tears off my face with a streak of my hoof.
"Thanks. I feel better now."
"Good. So... what did the letter say?"
"I'm...", I said and hesitated only for a short moment. I looked back over my body, and my gaze halted over my belly. Then, with a smile that could outshine Celestia's sun, I turned to him again and continued: "I'm pregnant, Gentle. You are going to be a father."
His face brightened immediately, and he exclaimed excitedly:
"Really? I'm going to be- A-And you are okay with it?"
He had just stopped himself, still conscious about my feelings. It was very cute how he did that and how he looked while he stared at me sheepishly. I snickered.
"Yes, of course. I've made up my mind. I'm happy with you here. Now... weren't we supposed to be at a wedding?"
"Oh, Celestia, yes! We're going to be late at this rate!"
"Well, they can't start without us, so it's no problem, right? Hehe, Carol is going to throw a tantrum."
With that, we left the house to make our way to the temple again. After a few steps, Gentle asked:
"So... what's like to be a mare?"
I playfully snapped my tail into his face and grinned at him.
"You wouldn't ask that another mare, would you? Well... if you really want to know, I happen to have a bit of spare time tomorrow and the weeks after. Want to hang out?"
He grinned.
"I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world."
And then we kissed.
