What You Know

    Well, you have cellmate now, might as well get to know him. After all, in a few minutes the girls would be back with Twilight in tow to help you.

    You begin to slide your hand across the dirty floor while you try to think of how to start up a good conversation with your fellow prisoner. Oh! What if there is a harmonica hidden underneath the bench Draco is currently seated in?

    "Hey, would there happen to be harmonica around this cell? Like, maybe in the toilet, underneath the bench, or do you have one on you?" It probably isn't the best thing to say, but that’s what came to mind. You never know, he could turn out to be a professional blues harmonica player.

    "Funny you mention it," Draco says fixing his back against the wall. "There's one right there," he says gesturing towards the corner floor of the room. "I wouldn't even consider using that. As weird as you are, I don't think even you'd willing to blow on that, when you don't even know where it’s been. Hehe, blow."

    You facepalm at his statement. Wow, even you can hold back from such a cheap perverted observation, most of the time. "Ugh, really man? I don't care that there's a sink in here, but no soap. I just really need some entertainment, and this should occupy my attention while I wait."

"It’s your hygiene."

     "Oh, shut the hell up," you say holding the harmonica in you right hand. You approach the rusty ass sink and twist the one knob it has. You splash some refreshing water on your face, and it makes you feel a bit reinvigorated. Now you let the steady stream flow through the harmonica and some dirt gushes out. Now the harmonica looks decent enough, giving off its faint red polished look and a few scratches.

    You hold it up to your mouth and begin to play, testing out the different pitches each combination makes. After about 2 minutes of playing random notes and noises you think you finally got the hang of it.

    "Please, just stop. You're gonna make me commit suicide. I don't know how I'm gonna do it without a single thing that can be used as a weapon in here, but I promise I will find a way."

    "Gimme a sec. Pretty soon you'll be carried away in some amazing music."

You go back to attempting to string the notes together. While Draco continues to ramble on about finding a way to kill himself and about how bad you are.

    "Maybe, I can drown myself in the toilet," You hear Draco say at the far end of your hearing.

Finally you match the the notes together and it sounds as close as you think you can get for now. You take in a deep breath and relax yourself and begin to play with a harmonica solo as you prepare your best jazz voice.

"On the day I was born,"

ba do be da boop

"The nurses all gathered 'round,"

ba do be da boop.

"And they gazed in wide wonder,"

ba do be da boop.

"At the joy they had found,"

ba do be da boop.

"The head nurse spoke up,"

ba do be da boop.

"Said 'leave this one alone,'

ba do be da boop.

"She could tell right away,"

ba do be da boop.

"That I was bad to the bone. Bad to the bone

Bad to the bone

B-B-B-B-Bad

B-B-B-B-Bad

B-B-B-B-Bad

Bad to the bone."

    You're surprised you have made it this far into George Thorogood's "Bad To The Bone" without having your voice crack or fucking up the tune, but you have made a few small screw-ups. Wow, you are such a badass and the look on Draco's face is priceless he almost looks horrified by your rough jazz voice.

"I broke a thousand hearts,"

ba do be da boop.

"Before I met you,"

ba do be da boop.

"I'll break a thousand more, baby,"

ba do be da boop.

"Before I am through,"

ba do be da boop.

"I wanna be yours pretty baby,"

ba do be da boop.

"Yours and yours alo-,"

    "Holy shit.…" Roseluck says in amazement using your name. "That was amazing!"

You turn around and are greeted by a familiar sight of Roseluck, Octavia and Twilight sharing the same expression, with an exception of a guard who looks like he had just seen Two Girls, One Cup.

    "Can you tell me what exactly that was," Twilight says. She looks exhausted, with her eyes slightly red with noticeable bags them, a ruffled mane and she's still in her button pajamas that match her mane. Well no shit she'd be tired, a glance at your watch says its 4:41. You shouldn't judge though, you're just grateful she actually had the willpower to get out of bed, unlike you.

    "It’s, um, a song from my world. I- just wanted to- I was bored that’s it," you stammer feeling a bit of blood rush to your face. You feel like an idiot that you just sang that in a voice that they probably will never use here and the looks weren't helping.

    "I've never heard anything like that and I will say, its...," Octavia says pausing to think. "It's spirit was very, interesting."

    "Its official you are the strangest man I have ever met," Draco says. "Really! I met a guy once who said he was determined to create a system where people could follow you theoretically and you would right a letter about the smallest thing you were doing, like taking a piss and everyone who follows you would be sent a letter and be notified!"

You can think of how that's not crazy in your world. "Great story and Twilight, uhm," you say waving your hands around you to signal you are still in a cell.

    "Yes we got everything sorted out now and you have received pardon, not only because a princess asks of it, but it appears one of our officers, Officer Forge, wasn't supposed to leave duty and when we went to his supposed address, it was somepony else's completely," the guard says unlocking the cell door. "We have reason to believe he is a member of a cult. I can't quite remember the name but they target those who aren't ponies which would explain why most of his arrests would consist mostly of other races who probably were never guilty at all. That also explains why he had stated Mint Essence was no longer available, he may also be a member."

    "The cult is the Equine Superlatives," Roseluck tells him.

    "Yes, forgive me. Its been quite a while since I've heard that name."

As the rusted bars slide open, you look back at Draco. He looks down for a moment then back up.

    "Don't worry about me man. I'll be alright," he says with a fake smile.

Just as you are about to speak the guard says, "You are also pardoned Mr. Brine. As you were charged for the same things from Forge as your friend here, you should be innocent."

    "You serious? Oh fuck yeah! What a relief! You don't know what they'd try to do to a handsome guy like me in prison. Thank you princess! Thank you officer...," Draco pauses.

"Crane."

    "Yes, thank you officer Crane! All of you! Especially you...," Draco says practically dancing with joy and pointing towards you. You’re worried if he keeps this up his head might explode and leave confetti all over the walls. "If I weren't a man I'd kiss ya!" Why does that sound so familiar? Draco barrels towards you and crushes you in a huge ass bear hug.

"Draco that's great and all - nghh - but could you ease up on the grip please?"

"Hehe, sorry pal." He releases you from his charger hold.

"Well I should get going now," Twilight says. "I need some rest."

"Very well princess. I should notify you that we will investigate other cases that have ended in arrest from Forge, if that's even his actual name," Crane says.

"Good. Goodbye everypony," she says as she walks out.

"Bye," you all say in unison.

"Well, I better get back to my paperwork. It was pleasure meeting you all, and sorry for the inconvenience," Crane says.

    "Pleasure to meet you too, and it’s alright," Draco says.

Crane leaves the office and now there's only four of you. Awkward silence fills the room.

"Well," Octavia speaks up, "these two days have been certainly eventful haven't they?"

    "Yeah. I don't even know why we’re still in here. I'm tired as hell," Roseluck says. In silent agreement you all just walk out the cell room, past the interrogation room and out the foyer. The weather outside greatly contrasts with the guard station temperature and a revitalizing gust of wind relaxes you.

"It’s time for me to get going. See you guys later," Roseluck says as she walks towards you yawning. She gives you and Octavia a warm hug.

"Thanks for coming down here and helping Roseluck. I really appreciate it alot," you say.

"Don't mention it. That’s what friends do," Roseluck offers her hand to Draco, who just spreads his arms with a stupid grin on his face.

"Ughh, fine." She gives Draco a half-hearted hug. "Goodnight guys."

"See? I am a ladies man," Draco says leaning into your ear.

"You were whispering at regular volume dumbass," Roseluck shouts already walking home.

"She's playing hard to get now," he says at a full whisper.

"Okay, sure," you say chuckling.

"Yes, it’s time for us to hit the hay," Octavia adds. You and Draco both look at her confused. Huh, never thought she'd say something like that.

    "No! N-not that I was implying we sleep together or that we share a bed, it was- I meant, okay I was trying to use a figure of speech I hadn't used before.” This was hilarious! Her cheeks look like they had been rubbed against a rug and there were a few visible beads of sweat on her forehead!

    "We know what you- you meant!" You say hardly able to control your laughter along with Draco, who's almost about to fall over. "It’s just, we were confused because we never thought you'd say something like that," you say breathlessly.

"Anyway," Draco says wiping a tear from his eye. "You two seem nice enough, so why don't you guys come over on Monday? I live on Peach Path my address is 15459."

"Sure, right Octavia?" As you look back at her you can already tell she'd rather not, but you want her to make more friends. So you aren't gonna let her weasel out of this.

"Oh well you see I have to practice at uhm for uhmm a upcoming concert we have and it’s very important tha-"

"Oh come on. Who says you can't practice over at Draco's house. Show him musical abilities."

"Yeah, I'd love to hear that," Draco adds. He can tell she's lying.

"I would too, but I can't carry my case all the way to your house," Octavia adds nervously.

"I can carry it for you. I've got muscles that put the Hulk to shame," you say playfully flexing your arm like an idiot.

"Or, I can just go to your guys' house," Draco says as if he just had a significant revelation.

"Ok that sounds good. We live on Elm Street-," you start to say.

"There isn't an Elm Street in Ponyville," Draco says confused.

"What are you talking about? It’s on Cassidy," Octavia says.

    "I was just messing around, geez." You should really stop making references. Nobody is ever going to understand them. However, you don't give a flying fuck and will continue to pat yourself on the back when ponies look at you like they just watched a GMod. "Anyway, it’s on Cassidy shouldn't be hard to find its the only house there."

"Ok, well, we should all get some rest then. See ya! Oh! Uhmm, do you think that Roseluck girl is into me?" He asks.

"Haha, I don't man. What did you think when she rolled her eyes?"

"She's playing hard to get." Octavia rolled her eyes at his statement.

"Well, I’ll let you decide," you answer.

"Bye," you and Octavia say together as Draco walks away.

"You owe me a favor that," Octavia says in a matter of fact tone.

"Why is that?"

"You knew I didn't want to go, much less have him visit."

    "Oh come on, just give him a chance. You said, and I quote, 'I'm a bit anti-social and meeting new people makes me feel as if my heart will burst,' and those are your exact words."

"You're insane! I said I have trouble making friends," she shouts.

"Haha, calm down. I'm just pulling your leg."

"You better ask Celestia that this doesn't go wrong," Octavia attempts to say in a threatening tone, but ultimately fails.

"Yeah, alright."

"By the way, that Roseluck friend of yours is quite charming."

"Heh, yeah she's pretty easygoing and pleasant to be around."

"Thank you," Octavia begins with your name. "After I met you it’s helped a lot in talking to others it also gives me a subject to start off with other than my cello."

"You’re welcome," you say as the two of you walk into the house.

"Do you have feelings for her?" She looks at you with expectant look to answer. This really catches you off guard. Why did she want know anyways?

"Wha-what makes you ask?"

"Well I don't know it’s just, you two are obviously really close she's told me quite a few interesting stories."

"Uhm stor-stories? Like what?"

     "She told me that you tried to stop her from a bar fight with some other stallion, and when she kicked him in the groin and attempted to run, he caught her, then you come in like a knight in shining armor and smash a mug against the back of his head. You certainly have a knack for getting into trouble. Also, she says she's caught you sneaking looks at her from time to time."

    "Trouble comes to me okay? I only fight when necessary, I mean she's my friend. Not like I was supposed to sit and watch with a bucket of popcorn. So my answer is no. Also, you'll find out soon enough Roseluck has an amazing tendency to exaggerate. I only did that ONCE and I'm not gonna lie she does look good so sometimes I can't help myself. "

"I see. Do you think I-"

"Well, I don't know about you, but I've had an exhausting day. Goodnight," you say with a quick yawn in order to cut her off from any more awkward questions.

    You quickly run upstairs. Now you imagined what you looked like. Probably like an eight-year-old in Scooby-Doo pajamas getting ready for a bedtime story. As you enter your room you throw yourself onto your bed and throw your shoes and socks not giving a single fuck where they choose land.

"Aahhh, fuck this feels amazing. Way better than that monkey cage of a cell," you sigh as you cover yourself and drift off to a deep slumber.

    You wake up to the familiar sight of light pouring through your blinds and bad morning breath. As you sit up you feel a strong headache rushes over you.

    "Aghh shit!" You rub your temples and reluctantly slide out of bed. heading towards the shower.

As you shower washing all the dirt and grime form your body and fingernails, you start playing with the shower head. The warm water slightly stings your wound, but that won't stop your fun."Whoosh! Feel my wrath subjects. Poosh! Prepare for the wrath," you echo in a deep and heroic tone.

"What wrath?! Please, spare us," you say in a high pitched voice pretending to be villagers.

"Your opportunities for mercy have passed, and the wrath I am going to throw upon you is the wrath of the titans!"

"Eeek!"

"Pow! Haha!"

    After you finish releasing some stupidity, you brush your teeth and make sure you don't look like that one deformed guy from the goonies. You head downstairs again greeted by the sight of Octavia in pajamas. Not that you're complaining.

    "Good afternoon," she says not bothering to turn around as she focuses on the eggs and hash browns, with french toast sitting in a bowl with the batter.

"You mean, good morning," you state as you take a seat.

"Actually, it's about 1:20 or so."

"Oh, wow. When did you wake up?"

"At about 12:30."

    "That's nice," you say a you pick up today's newspaper. Nothing catches your interest, because it;s mostly rubbish. You can almost imagine what it would be like if people on earth always were fascinated by things like this. At this thought you see yourself at the Walmart register and hearing someone behind you say 'It says here that Dr. Phil was in a porno movie.' You start laughing to yourself and Octavia turns around.

"What's so funny?"

"Just a thought," you answer chuckling.You hear a soft clink in front of you and see she has made breakfast for you. She sits down with her own serving of breakfast.

"Thanks. You didn't have to though."

    "Yeah well it seems everything's taken a hectic turn lately. Besides, you need some rest, especially for that head injury of yours. It had opened yesterday and the officer was kind enough to clean it or at least stop any chance of infection while you were unconscious."

"Eh, I feel fine." That's a lie.

"Yeah, sure."

    "Eeyup," you say, badly impersonating Big Mac and taking drink from your coffee and a bite of your french toast. It tastes

amazing. You are about halfway through the paper when something catches your eye.

"What's this?" You whisper to yourself.

"What?"

"There's a picture that shows guards outside of our house," you say confused.

"What? That can't be possible."

"Well this paper says that they arrived like at 7:00 AM and have been posted there. This is obviously a last minute article. All it does is question why they are here."

    You put your plate in the sink and so does Octavia. You walk towards the window and peek through the blinds, but its blocked by a shadow. Welp, that answers your question. After yesterday you aren't sure what their main reason to be here is so you open the door and walk outside.

    The sun hits your eyes and there is a sparse amount of clouds to offer shade today. You turn to look at the guards with the same gleaming armor as usual, both are pegasus this time. Octavia walks out behind you and you both look at each other puzzled. Why don't these guys say anything?

"Uhm, hello," Octavia says with uncertainty.

"Ma'am," one of the guards answers.

"May I ask why you two are posted here?"

"We have been given direct orders under Celestia to keep Mr.......... under protection," he says using your last name and never looking you or Octavia in the eyes.

"Well is there anything I should know?" You ask.

    "Simple, sir. We work in pairs, so at 8:30 PM sharp our shift ends and night guards will take our place until 6:00 AM. We will continue to work here until Celestia declares it’s no longer necessary. You also need to inform us on where you are headed whenever you leave the house, and visitors will need permission from you or your spouse to be on the premises."

"She's not my wife," you say before Octavia even opens her lips.

"Terribly sorry for the false assumptions sir. However, our main focus is your safety, nothing more, nothing less."

"Ok, thank you."

"My pleasure sir."

    "Well, I guess we should let you return to your jobs," Octavia says. You both head back inside.

That settles that. You ease onto the couch and it feels amazing. You're neck aches as you rest your head. It’s calming and it reminds you of one of your favorite quotes involving comfortable silence. But, like all good things it comes to an end.

    As Octavia walks toward the couch you scoot over to the other end of the couch to make room for her. She lies down on empty spot and puts her head on the armrest with her bare hooves resting on your lap. Wow, this makes you feel so much more relaxed. You sit in silence while Octavia hums a tune you aren't familiar with.

"So, what should we do today," you ask yawning.

"I don't know, maybe we should just walk around town again since we weren't able to complete it last time," she states while waving her hands at the ceiling.

"Sounds good, since I can't think of anything better."

"Well then it sounds like a plan. Let me get dressed."

"Me too," you state walking towards the stairs.

"... I'll race you up the stairs," she says using your name, with a huge grin on her face. Did she really just say that?

"What?"

"I said I'll race you up the stairs. We start from the kitchen around the living room couches and up the stairs." Tch, that's all you needed to hear.

    "Alright, but I must warn you, I am a professional stair racer."

It’s Octavia's turn to look confused."Is that a sport from your world?"

Screw it, there's no use."Let's forget I said that, and just race."

"Whatever you say." You both walk to the side of the dining table and line up side to side. You plant your feet.

"Ready. Set. Go!"

    You burst with speed as kick off your starting position, sprinting at full steam. As you round the couches Octavia's about 3 feet behind you. You grab the wooden rail on the left side of the stairs and lift each foot in a quick steady pace and your legs are starting to burn. You got this in the bag. Flash. NOPE! A grey arm extends in front of your chest almost knocking you off balance, but you keep hold of the rail. She gains a huge amount of speed and propels ahead of you. She passes the last step and rest her hands on her knees panting and smiling. Dammit! You aren't exactly the fastest guy anyways and you jog up the last steps. You stub your toes on the last step.

    "Fuck!" You fall over and extend your arms to stop your fall and push Octavia down with you. You look at Octavia to make sure she's not in any pain.

    "Sorry! Are you ok?" She doesn't answer, but her face is burning red. Something doesn't feel right. You're still on top of her and your hands are holding something very soft. You look down and see you were palming her breasts with each hand. It finally registers for the both of you. You throw yourself off of her and stand up with your hands raised and your face turning redder than Ronald McDonalds hair.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!"

    You offer her your hand and help her to her feet. "I-It's fine. Accidents happen. Let's just be more careful of where our hands end up next time," she says brushing herself off.

"O-okay. I'm gonna go change."

"Me too."

You walk into your room and shut the door sighing with relief and beads of sweat on your forehead.

    "That could've been a lot more awkward. A LOT, more. I'm glad I avoided that. Fuck! She probably thinks I'm a pervert now."

You throw yourself onto your bed and stretch. "Well, I guess I should get dressed now.”