Alright, time for that prank I pull so well. In all honesty I didn't see the point of it any more, it lost it's effect 5 years ago for me, but if Warren wants me to do it, I see no reason not to.
Step 1. Lock-picking sound.
Step 2. Open door and toss in C4 model.
Step 3. Bomb-arming and timer sound.
Step 4. Hear the room scream!
Alright, maybe it still has it's charm. I still do it just as well as I did when I was 14, but I'm wondering if Warren's friends actually believe it any more.
Cue Warren strutting into our house and laughing at the scene. He's been my best friend and partner-in-crime since primary school. We were in the same class since Grade 3, and we hit it off instantly. Becoming his friend felt more like finding a long-lost family member.
Anyway, the scene was pretty funny, even after all these times I'd seen it. There were people taking cover behind all manner of things, I even saw a leg sticking out from behind the curtains. It looked like every single person in the place and dropped what they were doing and scrambled. Which is probably exactly what they did.
Alright, the more inquisitive of you may be wondering how this works. I'll tell you. I just pulled the same prank I pull every year, on the same people, at the same time. The real man behind the joke is Warren. He takes full advantage of my..... ability to satisfy his desire for tom-foolery.He initiated this habitual prank and keeps it going, plus, he's always along for the ride. Anyway, I'm kinda what makes the whole prank believable. Warren's friends know he would never hurt them, but no-one said a criminal wouldn't. So I make the sound-effects of a break-in. Not with equipment or anything, just my mouth. It's a skill I picked up waaay back in the day.
When I was 8, me and Warren's families were at a nature reserve. It was just us, no guide. Deep inside the reserve, a particularly hostile group of meerkats surrounded the car. It was funny and cool for awhile, with them jumping up and making some all-too-cute hisses; but they weren't going anywhere, and my mom was not prepared to run over a meerkat troop. We tried revving the engine and hooting, but they didn't budge. Warren's mom was about the call the rangers, when I figured 'Why not?'. I took a deep breath, opened my mouth wide and gave a roar. Not the sort of adorable roar a kid does to seem scary, I mean an alpha-male lion's ROAR. The critters scattered like a buckshot.
That was just the first time, when I found out about my talent for imitation. Here's an example of another use. My brother plays horror/thriller/survivor games all the time. If you know the good ones, you know they make you paranoid. So sometimes, I'd stand in the doorway and not make a sound until after a period of 'quiet'. Then I'd tip-toe in and perfectly mimic the sound the main enemy from whatever game he was playing makes. He would literally fall off his chair backwards!
With time I just got better and better at mimicking sounds. And then I moved on to voices. I started quoting people in their own voice, then got better until I could speak like them. My all-time favourite is still Gandalf's famous line:
Youtube Video
After that, it became like a party-trick. One time, unsurprisingly at a party, me and Warren had a conversation with each other center-stage; but I sounded just like him! Everyone at the party couldn't stop laughing. I even saw some of Warren's new friends look down and stare at their drinks!
Just to clear up that last line, I'm not all that social. Warren's the one who fills up the guest list, but I get along with pretty much anyone.
So that's where this trick came from. A long-winded explanation I suppose, but at least you understand now.
We do it on July 4th every year, without fault. We're allowed to do it and not get in trouble for it. It is our birthday party, after all.
That's right, me and my best friend share a birth date. Of all the days I could have been born, 365 others (counting February 29th), I had to have been born today. I guess it's not that I don't like it, it's more that I don't not like it. I have this opinion about a lot of things: I really couldn't care less about something I'm not involved in, until you shove it in my face.
Gay? Cool. Communist? Okay. Nazi? Whatever. Don't get me wrong, Nazi's are some messed up guys, but if it's not overt then I don't really mind. What you do on your time in your house is none of my business. I would have preferred another day on which to truly celebrate, but I guess Independence Day is what I'm stuck with. Oh well, could be worse, at least it's a holiday. Warren rather likes it though. He pulls tons of pranks, usually involving explosives (the theme for the day), but no one can stay mad at him 'cause it's his birthday.
Yes, you read correctly: explosives.
Warren has quite the knack for that. He can make pretty much any explosive around. He also does it legally, as he has contacts in the entire industry and a license! He's even invented a few new ones that went to market and were huge successes! He also has a few formulas that he has only shared with me, being as dangerous as they are. He shares them with me because 1. I'm his best friend and 2. He knows I am incapable of creating them. They're really complex! He stores them on a hard-drive at his house. In a safe. With a self-destruct function. With a remote trigger. That has no count-down. Need I say more to deter you?
*Quantum Leap to the Present*
"Aw man! Again?" It was the guy behind the curtains.
"You should know by now!" Warren said with quite the smirk on his face."I always make an entrance! And is this what I think it is?" he said, gesturing to the room with a sweep of his arm.
"Isn't it always?" replied a slightly over-feminine voice.
Of course. How could I forget Lindre? The Fox. The Playeress. The Golden Lady. She's been after Warren since we were 17! We both know, but we act oblivious just to annoy her. She somehow manages to turn up at every event that Warren, and therefore I, go to. Even so, we let her stay just to humor her. Pretty much every guy she passes drools over her. But she's not interested in them. Warren is her prize. Unlucky for her, me and my buddy are immune to her 'charms'. Don't get me wrong, she is Gorgeous with a capital G. But she's also got a dark intentions stored in a black hole of a heart. We see through her veil of innocence, into the endless abyss beyond. But enough of that.
"So, Darling, still pulling that old act?" she said, drawling out her r. Warren gave me a discreet wink.
I rapidly (mentally) re-tuned my vocal piano and prepped the facade.
I yelled in her father's voice, "Lindre! You told me you were going out studying!"
She whipped herself around to the source of the voice, already half-way done with her sentence.
"Dad, what are you.....? Oh." She noticed the massive grin on my face.
"Maybe I am pulling that 'same old act'." Warren replied with some serious smugness. "But Matthew here always has a new trick!" he said, leaning on my shoulder. He's really tall, so it was more like just raising his elbow a bit.
"Touche..." She looked a bit down-trodden. "Daddy always was the one thing I was really scared of..." Wow, she seemed genuinely depressed.
"But we're here to party, not mope! Crank up the music!" Vinyl, Scratch that.
And so the night continued with some awesome music to boot. I saw some questionable activities going on in the corners, and I swear I saw a younger couple leave just a few minutes in to the celebration, but that was none of my concern. I went to watch another tradition at our party- Beer Pong.
I drink very little alcohol myself, but I've always marveled at it's effect on others. You hear and see many things you normally wouldn't when a person gets drunk. Warren was the Champion, had been for the last 6 years, quite simply because he held his drink well.
It was fun.
People started leaving around 9:30, and we had the house cleared out by 10pm. We live together and in a fairly large house. Like 2 bathrooms and 2 bedrooms size. We also live near the edge of the town. Not like on the border, but close enough that we can see the edge of the farms outside of town from on top of the roof. We have a porch that you can get on to the roof from. It's really cool, and a great place for contemplation
"That went well." I noted. "No broken things things, no puking, minimal activity from Lindre and nothing stolen."
"Well, I think I'm going to hit the hay! But not before the exchange is satisfied." Warren said in his best 'Jedi Master' tone.
Ah, yes. The Exchange. Every year we get each other a gift and exchange them, like a wed couple. We know each other really well, so the gift is always appreciated.
"Here you go!" He thrust a package literally under my nose. I took it and opened it up.
"A Rubik's Cube?" I questioned. I loved mind games like this, but I already had quite a few of these. Although it did seem... chunkier than a regular one.
"Let me show you." he said, rather vaguely. He put it between his hands and pulled on the sides. I almost yelled at him that he was going to break it, but it popped open.
Not 'exploded into bits' popped, it actually opened into a bigger cube on a frame, connected a smaller cube inside! Like a Russian nesting-doll with strings attached.
"That's new..." I dumbly stated, still a bit shocked by the cube's appearance.
"You should see your face!" Warren fell over onto the couch with laughter
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Here's yours." I held out a card.After folding the cube and putting it on the table, he opened it up, then became slack-jawed as he read it and just stared at the contents.
"What, never seen a ticket to a Francium reaction showcase before?" I sarcastically questioned, albeit with a tone of triumph.
Warren was still just staring at the ticket in the card.
"Hey, bro?" I waved my hand in front of his eyes. Life flared back into his eyes. Without knowing it, he suddenly started imitating Rainbow Dash.
"Omygosh omygosh omygosh omygosh OMYGOSH! NO WAY! Dude, how did you get these?! This is only going to be the most-attended event in science in the last 10 years! And the most explosive one!"
"I have my ways..." I put on the coy face.
"However you got them, I am going to sleep with dreams of gold tonight! Thank you! You are NEVER going to hear the end of this you know?"
"That's a risk I was, and am, well prepared to take."
He gave me a bear-sized bear hug, and with a final "Thank you!" he made for his room with a literal hop, skip and a jump.
'Him and his explosions...' I thought to myself.
Just one thing left to do before I went to bed myself: Watch the latest and, unfortunately, last episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I know it came out awhile ago, but I've been too busy to watch it. Life and stuff. Warren knows about my status as a Brony, but he doesn't pry. He doesn't watch, doesn't read or write fics, but he does appreciate the fan art. He doesn't go looking for it, but when it pops up he knows how to like it. We have separate computers, but the fandom always seems to creep onto his CPU, by no work of mine!
As for me, I'm a proud member of the herd! I don't go around yelling at people "Look at me! I'm a Brony! Notice me!" or anything like that, but if it comes up I'm willing to tell anyone willing to listen.
On went the TV, up came the recording library. I selected the final episode of season 5, but before I pressed play I turned down the volume so I didn't disturb Warren. I'm considerate like that.
The intro came up, and I softly sang every word of it. I told you: proud. I glanced at the time. 10:27, exactly 15 minutes before my birth. How's that? My exact 25th birthday spent watching pastel coloured cartoon ponies. Who would have thought?
I started up the episode and got way into it, like I usually do. It was right where Discord turned on Celestia and Luna in their chambers, when I rubbed my eyes for a second and found the end-credits rolling.
'What the...' I rewound to where I was and finished watching. It ended with Discord teleporting to Queen Chrysalis's Hive to remove all competition left to him. The episode went on with Discord banishing Chrysalis and a few of the changelings, before looking at the screen and giving and evil grin. Then it suddenly cut off. I'd heard from the community, or what was left of it, that the last episode was terrible, but I was determined to see it through to the bitter end.
'I wonder what happened there with that black-out?' I thought to myself. 'Maybe the Queen will know...' I caught myself at that thought. 'Okay, no more late-night parties then MLP for me. It's messing with my brain!'
I made my way to my room, undressed in the dark and hopped into bed. I found lying on my side to be rather uncomfortable, so I lay on my back and fell asleep.
