A Guardsman in Equestria

by Guardsman_Sparky

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 58841

An Imperial Guardsman ends up trapped in Equestria

What is a young Imperial Guardsman to do when the warp spits him out into a land of ponies?

Warhammer 40K and all affiliated logos, characters and trademarks belong to Games Workshop. MLP and all related logos, characters and trademarks belong to Hasbro

Thanks go to the_marked_one for listening to all my crazy ideas and to FenrisianBrony and MyDigitalHazard for proofreading.

Published 2013-05-12 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-06 22:06:16 UTC

Recovery

Twilight shook herself out of her shock induced stupor just in time to catch the collapsing biped in her magic. Gently lowering it to the ground, she nudged the cyan pegasus next to her, bringing Rainbow Dash out of her daze.

"Holy cow! Did you see that!" yelled the pegasus mare. "That thing just took out a manticore single hoofedly!"

The two mares were close enough now to the creature to notice that the creatures' 'exoskeleton' was actually a suit of ill-fitting armor. Its forelegs ended in blunt claws, much like her baby dragon Spike's, but they were longer and there were five on each limb.

"Rainbow," Twilight interjected urgently. "I think it's hurt."

"What?"

"I don't think they bend that way," Twilight replied, gesturing at the creature's left foreleg. "We need to get this thing to the hospital."

Alexander groaned as he rubbed his face with his right hand, escaping the dreamless void he had collapsed into. With a start, he jerked into a seated position as he realized that his armor was gone, gasping in pain as he clutched the bandages covering his chest. Wait, what? Who? Where? Looking around, Alexander saw that he was in a hospital.

Before Alexander could wonder where he was, the door to the room opened. His eyes bulged when a small, white, pink-maned horse wearing a nurse's cap walked into the room.

"Oh, good you're awake." Alexanders' eyes practically popped out of his skull when he heard it speaking in Gothic, until he remembered that the three small horses he had rescued in that forest had spoken it as well. "I am Nurse Redheart," She said, introducing herself. "Now I have a few questions for you to answer for your medical records."

"Umm...okay?"

"Excellent. Now, what are you?" inquired the nurse pony. "I gather that you are male, yes?"

"I'm a human, and yeah, I'm a guy," Alexander replied. "I'm Alexander. Um, where's my gear?"

"Ms. Sparkle took it for safe keeping." Seeing the nonplussed look on the human's face, Nurse Redheart quickly elaborated. "Twilight Sparkle is the mare who brought you here. You were quite a mess. Foreleg cra-"

"Arm," Alexander interjected. "It's called an arm."

"Arm cracked in two places, three fractured ribs, multiple lacerations and contusions, and a nasty concussion. What," inquired the mare. "Were you doing to yourself?"

Alexander winced. "I was fighting a big lion. With wings. Wait, those kids, are they ok?"

"You fought a manticore? You're braver than I thought." Redheart shook her head. "Those three fillies are always getting into some trouble or another. I'm just glad they didn't-" Realization dawned on her. "You saved those fillies?"

Alexander nodded, not knowing how to respond.

Nurse Redheart chuckled. "Well, looks like they have their own guardian angel then, hm?"

Alexander shrugged. "I guess. So when can I leave?"

"Now, if you'd like. All your paper work was filled out by Ms. Sparkle. She's waiting for you outside."

Alexander stood on the steps outside Ponyville General, looking down at the lavender unicorn that had brought him there. "So, thanks for the help, I guess."

Twilight smiled. "You're welcome. Ooh, I have so many questions to ask you! What are you, what do you do for fun, whampphmphphmph." She tried to speak through the hand around her muzzle, glaring a little at the human.

"I'm sorry," Alexander apologized, releasing her mouth. "Can we get to wherever it is I'll be staying before any questions, please?"

Twilight sighed. "Oh fine. Hold on," she replied, her horn starting to glow.

"Um, wait, what ar-"

There was a purple flash of magic, and the steps were empty.

With a flash of purple light, Twilight and Alexander appeared in the main room of the Ponyville Library. Before Twilight could say or do anything, Alexander rushed past her towards the nearest waste basket, looking decidedly green.

"BLUERGH!

"Are you ok?"

Alexander looked up from his waste basket, still green, but not so much violently. "That was fun, but let's never do that when I have a concussion again. Oh, God-Emperor!" He shoved his face back into the waste basket. "HORK!

Twilight frowned sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I forgot that teleportation spells and head trauma don't mix." She looked at the human prostrated over the trash bin. "Are you going to be ok?"

"yup, I'll be just *hurp* fine."

"What's with all the commotion?" Rainbow Dash asked as she flew into the room.

Alexander looked up at the bright cyan pegasus, eyes crossing as he shoved his face back into the half-full trash can. "BARF"

Rainbow Dash looked at Twilight. "Head injury and teleportation?"

Twilight's face turned a bright crimson. "Yup."

After a few more minutes, Alexander stood up, his face back to its normal color. Twilight looked at him worriedly. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah." Alexander looked past Twilight to the cyan mare hovering behind her. "Alexander," he said, offering his hand.

"I'm Rainbow Dash!" the exited polychromatic pony exclaimed, shaking his hand vigorously. "Fastest pegasus alive!"

Alexander raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yup, I don't mean to brag, but I can-"

A knocking on the door interrupted her spiel. Huffing, Rainbow Dash sulked a bit while Twilight answered the door. "Oh, hi Fluttershy."

Rainbow Dash flew over to the door. "Heya Flutters!"

"Oh, um, hi, Rainbow Dash," whispered the shy yellow mare. "Um Twilight, I could use some help later today, that is, if you're not too busy."

"Sure, no problem Fluttershy."

"Oh thank you, I-Eep!" Fluttershy suddenly froze upon seeing Alexander standing in the library, before just as suddenly bolting off.

Alexander looked at Twilight and Dash in confusion. "What was that all about?"

Author's Note

Ok, I had no idea how to get Alex out of the hospital. So, if this seems a bit awkward, sorry. I'm kinda new at this whole story writing thing.

Explanations

Twilight sighed as the timid pegasus disappeared in the distance. "That was Fluttershy. She's very-"

"Shy. Yeah, kinda got that from the name." Alexander looked closely at the lavender unicorn, brows furrowed. "Are you a psyker?"

Twilight blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"Are you a psyker?"

"What the hay is a si-ker?" Rainbow Dash asked, forelegs crossed, not liking his accusatory tone.

"You don't know..." Alexander started, unable to finish that thought. "A psyker is a being that draws power from the warp to gain psychic and psionic abilities."

Twilight looked at Alexander askance. "Unicorns' magic comes from within, not from, whatever the warp is." Twilight frowned. "Do you not like psykers?"

Alexander shook his head. "No it's not that, most people don't, but I don't hate them. One of my better friends was a psyker." Alexander's face fell.

Twilight's face softened. "What happened?"

Alexander turned away. "I don't want to talk about it," he whispered.

Before Twilight could say anything, Rainbow Dash flew into Alexander's face and glared at him accusingly. "What do you mean you don't hate psykers?" Alexander jerked back, before sighing.

"It's a long story."

Twilight pulled out a quill and some paper. "I'd love to hear it. I have so many questions about where you came from."

Alexander smirked humorlessly. "Then I should probably start from the beginning. Sit down, this will take a while." Rainbow Dash and Twilight sat down, Twilight holding her quill at the ready. Alexander sat on the chair opposite them.

"I come from the galaxy spanning Imperium of Man..."

"...thousands of years ago, the Emperor of Mankind set out to unify humanity's lost worlds. To do so he created the Space Marines, genetically engineered superhumans. They never tire, never give up, and they know no fear. The Emperor divided the Space Marines into Twenty Legions of ten thousand Marines, each legion to be led by a Primarch, the Emperor's own sons. Along side the soldiers of the Imperial Army, the Legions fought to bring human worlds into the fold. The Imperium's influence grew, and there was peace unlike any before or since.

"But then the unthinkable happened. Horus, the Emperor's favorite son betrayed the Emperor and turned to darkness, worshipping the dark gods of chaos. I dare not speak their foul names, for to catch their attention brings fates worse than death. When Horus turned from the Emperor's light, fully half of the Space Marine legions and much of the Imperial Army followed him into damnation, plunging the Imperium into civil war. Brother fought brother, father fought son, planets drowned in blood, whole star systems wiped from the face of the galaxy. The Horus Heresy burned throughout the Imperium.

"The loyalists fought hard, but the traitors fought alongside demons, foul denizens of the warp (a parallel dimension used to travel between star systems). Eventually the traitors besieged Holy Terra, the birthplace of Mankind. It seemed chaos would win, until the Emperor confronted Horus on his flagship. The Emperor fought with Horus. Empowered by the dark gods, it is said Horus nearly won. But, in the end, the Emperor smote down His traitorous son, breaking the back of the forces besieging Holy Terra.

"But victory was not without it's costs. Many billions had died and many more corrupted by chaos. Warp storms fueled by the conflict burst into the materium, separating many systems from the Imperium. Worst of all, The Emperor Himself was mortally wounded by Horus' final attack. Unable to guide us, the Emperor was interred on the Golden Throne, where He sits to this day, His body decayed, but His mind still active, his psychic beacon allowing humanity to navigate through the warp.

"The Imperial Army was split into the Imperial Navy and the Imperial Guard to prevent entire fleets from revolting as they had during the heresy. Even the loyalist Space Marine Legions were reorganized, split into chapters of a thousand Marines each. Finally, to protect the Imperium from threats from within, the Imperial Inquisition was created. They hold untold political clout, and woe betide those that get on their bad side. It took several centuries before the worlds lost during the heresy were reclaimed, but the Imperium never truly recovered.

"Now the Imperium is beset upon on all sides by all manner of horrors. Xenos assault us on all sides. Chaos attacks us from within and without, corruption turning many from His light. Heretics and mutants abound. For every planet brought into the fold, another goes dark. Paranoia is the rule of the day.

"My home planet was one of those to go dark. I don't remember its name, all references to it have been deleted, and none of the veterans who fought there would tell me. All I know is, the planet fell to chaos, and the 501st Harlech "Thunderbolts" Regiment of the Imperial Guard was sent there to purge the taint. Unfortunately, the corruption was greater than anticipated, and an Exterminatus order was given. The Thunderbolts rescued me during the evacuation, and adopted me as one of their own.

"That was eighteen years ago. I have been in the guard ever since I turned fourteen, almost eight years ago now. I have fought horrors that have turned many insane, yet somehow I've managed to keep it together without losing it. It's said that an Imperial Guardsman's average survival time during a battle is fifteen hours. I somehow managed to survive. My first squad was not so lucky."

Alexander sighed, Twilight noticed that as she wrote down every word he said, that he somehow seemed...older with each word that passed his lips. She shook her head, preparing for Alexander's next words. When none were forthcoming, Twilight ventured a question. "But...how did you get here?" She hesitantly asked, wanting answers, yet unsure she wanted to know.

Alexander grimaced, swallowing before he continued. "Well, better to get it out than keeping it in." he muttered, more to himself than anybody. He took a deep breath.

"The 501st were transiting through the warp between systems aboard the troop carrier Forward Unto Dawn. We were leaving one system-never could pronounce the name of the place, much less remember it-and were heading for some planet called Medusa or something. I had pissed off the platoon sergeant, and he had me cleaning and cataloging equipment in the ship's armory. Everything was going fine, until-" Alexander's voice hitched.

"Until the geller fields surrounding the ship collapsed. The warp flowed into the ship. To say it was horrible does not even begin to describe it. People torn apart by things being born from their own minds." Alexander stopped, unable to continue, his face pale and gaunt as he remembered things that should not even begin to exist.

Twilight was just as pale as Alexander, and even Dash looked like she could hurl. Twilight swallowed the bile in her throat. "How did you survive?"

Alexander shook his head. "I don't know. When the geller fields collapsed, the armory void shields went up, sealing me in. Somehow they kept the horrors out, and gave me enough time to throw some armor on and arm myself." Alexander frowned. "I don't remember anything else until I woke up in the forest."

Author's Note

Explanations: Also Known As the Horus Heresy abridged.

The Grand Tour

"That sounds terrible," exclaimed a pink pony sitting next to Alexander.

"GAH!" Alexander yelled in surprise as he fell out of his seat. "Where in the Emperor's Name did YOU come from?"

"Hey Pinkie," Twilight greeted the pink party pony while Rainbow Dash snickered at the human splayed across the floor.

"Hey Twilight, hey Dashie," bounced Pinkie Pie.

"seriously, where the hell did you come from?" Alexander raged as he tried to get up, before Pinkie bounced on his chest, knocking him back down. "Oof!"

The pink pony was an inch from Alexander's face. "Hi I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?"

"I'm Alexander. Can you please get offa me?"

"Okie-dokie-lokie!"

Alexander stood up as the pink ball of energy bounced around the room. He looked to Twilight and Rainbow Dash who looked ready to burst with barely suppressed laughter. "Is she always this..." Alexander waved his arm at Pinkie Pie.

Twilight nodded, smiling slightly. "Pretty much."

Alexander jerked back as Pinkie bounced in his face, again. "Wow, you're almost as tall as Princess Celestia."

Alexander frowned. "I'm sorry, who?"

"Princess Celestia, silly-billy." Pinkie giggled, as if that explained everything.

"oh, that reminds me," Twilight said. "I need to send Princess Celestia a letter about the day's events." She turned to Pinkie Pie. "Can you show Alexander around Ponyville?

"Okie-dokie Twilight." The exuberant pony bounced out the door.

Alexander frowned. "I'm not going anywhere until I get my armor and weapons back." He crossed his arms, staring at Twilight.

"Oh, I had the armor sent to rarity at Carousel Boutique," Twilight responded. "It looked like it could use some adjustments. As for your weapons," Twilight walked over to a chest by the wall and floated Alexander's holstered laspistol, chainsword, and empty flamer over to him. "They're right here."

Alexander put the laspistol and chainsword on his belt and slung the flamer over a shoulder. "Thanks, I guess I'll see you later."

Pinkie popped out from the chest. "What are you waiting for silly-billy, let's go!"

Alexander starred at Pinkie. "How-when-wha?" He looked at Twilight as Rainbow Dash fell out of the air laughing.

Twilight just shook her head. "I gave up trying to figure Pinkie out ages ago."

Pinkie began pushing Alexander out the door before he could formulate a response. "Well c'mon Sparky, we don't have all day!" Alexander sputtered.

"My name's Alexander."

"Whatever you say Sparky."

"Over there's the joke shop, and over there's the..."

Not knowing what else to do, Alexander followed the pink pony-shaped rubber ball down the street. He could feel the stares from the locals on the back of his neck. He didn't know why, but he felt strangely comfortable around these...ponies. It was an unlikely thing, considering that all Imperial Guardsmen were trained to hate anything not human. Perhaps it was how human the ponies seemed, although he never was one to hate without reason. They were very good bakers, Alexander thought, remembering his short visit at Sugarcube Corner. Still, it was a good thing the platoon commissar wasn't here. That crazy bastard would have had the place burning before you could say 'heretic.'

Alexander came out of his musings as Pinkie Pie led him to a large farm filled with apple orchards.

"-and that's how Equestria was made," Pinkie concluded, coming to a stop. "We're here!"

Wait, what?

A orange pony with a blonde mane (Is that a stetson on her head?) greeted Alexander and Pinkie Pie. "Howdy, ma name's Applejack, welcome to Sweet Apple Acres."

Pinkie Pie started bouncing around Alexander. "Hey AJ, this is Sparky!"

Alexander rubbed his face. "How many times do I have to tell you, my name is not Sparky it's Alexander!"

Applejack just smiled at the annoyed human. "Y'all must be the one who done saved ma little sister. Ah can't thank y'all enough."

"She alright?" Alexander asked.

"Yup, but she's in big trouble." The cowpony shook her head. "Ah can't believe mah little sister would disobey me like that."

"Well, I'm glad she's ok." Alexander frowned. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Well, how many other two legged aliens are out there?"

Before he could say anything, Pinkie started dragging Alexander away. "C'mon, I got more to show you."

"Y'all feel free to drop by anytime, y'hear?" Applejack called out as the protesting human disappeared over the hill.

"..and this is Carousel Boutique!" Pinkie pie concluded as she bounced to a halt. "Rarity is waiting for you inside. Bye."

Alexander frowned. "Where are y-"

BOOM!

Alexander turned around just in time to see Pinkie flying out of a pink cannon towards town. "-going?" The hell? Where did she-how did she...?

It was several minutes before Alexander was able to close his jaw. He turned towards the door of the Carousel Boutique, wondering what weirdness was going to happen next. Swallowing, Alexander slowly approached the door before grasping the handle, steeling himself against whatever bizarre things were waiting for him inside. Fear is naught, for I am strong. Here goes.

Alexander opened the door and looked around, finding to his great relief that nothing was jumping at him. He walked in and closed the door. "Hello?"

A white unicorn with a purple mane walked in from another room. "Hello, you must be Alexander. I am Rarity, and it is a pleasure to meet you." She looked at his clothes, noticing the tears and stains in the khaki fatigues. "Oh dear, we can't have you going about in those rags, I'll just have to fix that." Her horn glowed as the stains in Alexander's fatigues disappeared as the tears seemed to sew themselves shut.

Alexander blinked. "Um, thank you," Alexander responded, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "I was told you had my armor?"

"Oh, yes it's just this way." Rarity turned and lead Alexander into the next room. "Dreadful choice of palette, I must say, but it's functionality of design, oh, such craftsponyship."

"Craftsponyship? Really?"

"Pardon?"

Alexander shook his head. "Nevermind." Moving to the armor, he began to put it on piece by piece over his fatigues, examining each part now that he had the time. As Alexander put on the helmet and completed the seal with the rebreather, he picked up the backpack left on the floor. Why he had grabbed that in the ship's armory, Alexander had no idea, but considering where he was now, he was glad to have the added versatility of being able to carry extra supplies if he needed to. The Guardsman paused. Why didn't I use this to grab some extra grenades? Shaking his head, Alexander turned to Rarity.

"Did you clean my armor?" Alexander asked. "It smells better."

"It should also fit better, too."

Alexander blinked. It did. The armor no longer shifted awkwardly when he moved. "Thank you, but how did you know how to do that?"

Rarity smiled demurely. "A lady has to have some secrets."

Alexander rubbed his face, tried to anyways until he remembered he was wearing the rebreather. "Thanks. I should get back to the library." I need to know more about..whatever this place is called.

"It was my pleasure, darling. Come back anytime."

Alexander nodded and waved goodbye, slipping the empty flamer over his shoulder as he left.

The Return of Chaos part 1

Alexander sat watching Twilight gallop back and forth across the library, searching for an explanation or solution to the unnatural weather occurring around Ponyville. As Alexander sipped from a steaming mug of recaf from his meager rations, a purple lizard walking on two legs came in, rubbing its eyes. "What's goin' on Twilight?"

Alexander spewed steaming recaf across the room, staring at the talking lizard. "Did you just talk?" He turned to Twilight. "Are talking lizards normal?"

Twilight looked up from the book held in her magic. "What? Oh, that's Spike. Spike, Alexander. Alexander, Spike." She returned to her book before tossing it aside and grabbing a new one off the shelf.

Spike crossed his arms, glowering at Alexander. "I'm not a lizard, I'm a dragon."

Alexander raised a brow. "Aren't dragons supposed to be, I dunno, bigger?"

Spike huffed a green flame. "I'm still a baby."

"I see."

"So what's goin' on? I haven't seen Twilight this wound up since she tried to figure out Pinkie Pie."

Alexander glanced askew at the purple dragon. "Haven't you looked outside?" Spike shook his head. "Well, you'll see soon enough I guess."

"I got it!"

Alexander and Spike turned to Twilight. She held up a book. "I've finally found a fail-safe spell for magical misfires and emergencies." She picked up Spike and ran out the door, book trailing behind in a magenta mist.

Alexander put down his recaf and scrambled after them, grabbing his flamer as he ran out the door.

"Wait for me!"

Alexander caught up to Twilight at a corn field, one that was filled with...popcorn? This was weird even for...shit, what the hell happened to those apples? They're HUGE! Alexander stood dumbfounded at the sight of full grown apple trees bent over like saplings under the weight of absolutely massive apples the size of pumpkins.

Alexander saw that Pinkie Pie was practically bathing in...chocolate milk raining from cotton candy clouds, while Rainbow Dash was covered in in the stuff. Fluttershy and Applejack were trying to stop a bunch of rabbits and squirrels from eating the enormous fruit as Rarity watched on, when the rabbits spontaneously sprouted long, spindly, hoofed appendages.

Alexander looked on in horror. "It can't be..." he whispered as Fluttershy started panicking.

Twilight walked up to her friends and tossed the book away. "Don't worry everyone. I've learned a new spell that'll fix everything." Twilight's horn flashed magenta, a wave of purple energy radiating out from her. Alexander shaded his eyes, and looked to see that absolutely nothing had changed. Twilight sputtered. "My fail-safe spell...failed!" She looked to Spike. "What do we do?"

Alexander stepped forward. "If I'm correct, there is nothing that can be done." Twilight turned, surprised at how grim his face was. He shook his head. "Though I hope my suspicions are unfounded."

Twilight frowned at Alexander's cryptic words. "Still, we can't just let these clouds and animals go unchecked." Twilight began barking orders. "Rainbow Dash, corral those clouds. Applejack, bring those clouds..."

Alexander tuned the ponies out as he poked at the engorged apples, his mind returning to the past as he recalled his first encounter with the forces of chaos. Some second-rate hive world in the Ultima Segmentum had been having issues with chaos cults for several years when a party of inquisitors had begun an investigation. After only a week, the inquisition sent for the Imperial Guard, and the Harlech 501st had been among the regiments to respond. The campaign had begun as a simple cleanse and purge operation. It was only when it started raining blood that any of them had any inklings that the cultists were not the biggest threat. Half the regiment died that day, and in the end, the Inquisition had declared Exterminatus, sentencing the planet to a fiery death by cyclonic torpedoes. In light of the horrors he saw that day, Alexander considered himself lucky that the Inquisition no longer purged those with knowledge of the fell powers as they had in the past.

Alexander returned to the present, turning his attention back to the ponies whose lot fate had thrown him in with. Alexander looked on in surprise as Spike gave a fiery belch, brows practically achieving orbit when the baby dragon coughed up a perfectly dry scroll of parchment. Twilight picked up the scroll in her magic and read it, gasping. "Come on girls. Princess Celestia wants to see us all in Canterlot immediately!" She looked at the scroll again. "And she wants us to bring Alexander."

Alexander followed Twilight and the other five Ponyville ponies into the royal palace, a majestic white alicorn with a chromatic mane flying in an unseen wind waiting anxiously for them, an image of a blazing sun on her flank. "Princess Celestia, we came as fast as we could," Twilight announced.

Princess Celestia looked at the ponies with relief. "Thank you, Twilight. Thank you all." The princess turned to Alexander. "You must be Alexander. Twilight wrote to me about you, a warrior from the stars who has lost his way."

Alexander saluted the solar diarch, hands crossed across his chest to form a facsimile of a two headed eagle. "It is an honor your highness." He knew from Twilight's dissertation on the train ride to Canterlot that the princess was to be respected. He wasn't sure he believed the part about her controlling the sun and moon, though. And he wasn't too sure how he felt about cutie marks either. He couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed them before.

Alexander shook his head, returning to the matter at hand.

Twilight interrupted, frantic to get answers from her teacher. "Is this about the weather? And the animals' weird behavior? What's happening out there? Why isn't my magic working? Is there–"
Princess Celestia held up a hoof, silencing her star pupil. "Follow me."

Princess Celestia escorted the group through Canterlot to a magnificent ivory tower. Opening the intricate double doors with her magic, Celestia led them into the tower. They walked into the hall inside, gazing at the various stain-glass windows depicting important events of equestrian history. Fluttershy stopped, staring at a stain-glass window depicting a strange chimera like creature.

It had the head of a pony, but had a deer antler on the right, a blue goat horn on the left, one long fang, different-sized pupils, a snake tongue, a goat beard, and white bushy eyebrows. Its right arm was that of a lion, the left claw that of an eagle, the right leg was of a lizard, and the left leg was of a goat. On its back were a bat's right wing, a Pegasus' left wing, and a horse's mane. A dragon-like snake's tail with a white tail tuft completed the strange creature. All in all, Alexander thought it looked quite...bizarre.

"I've called you here for a matter of great importance. It seems an old foe of mine, someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned. His name... is Discord."

At that name, Fluttershy gave a terrified squeal, latching onto Alexander's leg with all four hooves.

Princess Celestia continued, passing a window depicting the strange creature using three ponies like marionettes. "Discord is the mischievous spirit of disharmony. Before my sister and I stood up to him, he ruled Equestria in an eternal state of unrest and unhappiness." She paused for a moment in front of a window showing the creature turned to stone by a pair of alicorns, one purest white, the other darkest blue. "Luna and I saw how miserable life was for Earth ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns alike, so after discovering the Elements of Harmony, we combined our powers and rose up against him, turning him to stone."

Rainbow Dash popped into the air cheering. "All right, Princess!"

"I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever but since Luna and I are no longer connected to the elements, the spell has been broken."

Twilight stopped. "No longer connected?"
Princess Celestia came to a halt before another set of double doors, Alexander noting with interest that these particular doors appeared to be those of a high security vault. "This is Canterlot Tower, where the Elements are kept inside since all of you recovered them. I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord before he thrusts all of Equestria into eternal chaos."

Twilight was confused. "But why us? Why don't you-"

"Hey, look! We're famous!" They all turned and looked at the pink party pony that was standing in front of one of the stain glass windows. Alexander and the other five ponies stepped in front of the window, Fluttershy still hanging onto his leg like a barnacle to a ship. The window showed six ponies shooting a midnight blue alicorn with magic streaming from their heads. Looking closer, Alexander realized that they were the six mares that he had begun to think of as friends.

Princess Celestia stepped next to Alexander. "You six showed the full potential of the elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to beat a mighty foe. Although Luna and I once wielded the elements, it is you who now control their power, and it is you who must defeat Discord."

Twilight drew up straight. "Princess Celestia, you can count on–"

Pinkie pie raised a hoof, interrupting the lavender unicorn. "Hold on a second! Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys. Chocolate rain!"

Alexander shook his head. "Eternal chaos also comes with death, destruction, and despair. Trust me, pure chaos is something you never want to see, let alone live. Chaos is insipid. It will twist your hopes, your dreams, your insecurities and your fears, turning you against everything you've ever held dear. The only defense against true chaos is to remember who you are, and to project an aura of contempt."

Celestia looked at the armored human, interest apparent in her eyes. "It appears that you've had some experience with chaos, then?"

Alexander snorted. "Understatement of the year, your majesty. I've seen things that would make your hooves curl." He shuddered. "Chaos, in any form, is not to be trifled with."

"Well said." Celestia strode to the locked double doors. "In this vault lie the elements of harmony." The solar princess placed her horn into the lock, and opened it with her magic. Alexander rubbed his chin. There's an innuendo here, I just know it.

The vault doors opened. Inside sat a beautifully crafted wooden box on top of a stone column, flawless gemstones set into it's surface. Celestia picked it up with her magic, displaying it to those assembled. Rarity swooned. "Ooh. You can keep the Elements. I'll take that case!"

Alexander facepalmed. Could the white unicorn really be that shallow? The fate of the world was at stake, and all she could think about was how pretty a box was?

Princess Celestia chuckled. "Have no fear, ponies. I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord with these!" She opened the box with a dramatic flourish.

Everypony present gasped as Celestia dropped the case to the ground in horror. A stream of invective that would make an Inquisitor blush spewed from Alexander's mouth. The case was empty, the Elements of Harmony were gone!

Pinkie Pie trotted off. "Oh, well. If anyone needs me, I'll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant swizzle straw."

Alexander grabbed her by the tail, dragging her back to the group. "Pinkie, now is not the time!" He shook his head in disbelief as the pink pony awed in disappointment.

"The elements!" Twilight blurted. "They're gone!"

Princess Celestia stared at the empty case, unable to comprehend the loss of the six Elements. "That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break! This doesn't make sense!"

A deep, ominous laughter filled the hall. "Make sense?" A deep, echoing voice asked, emanating from nowhere and everywhere at once. "Oh, what fun is there in making sense?"

The Solar Diarch searched the room. "Discord... Show yourself!"
A malicious chuckle resounded through the air. "Did you miss me, Celestia?" One of the stain-glass portraits of the strange chimera came to life. It moved into an adjacent window, lounging lazily against a stain glass pony. "I missed you. It's quite lonely being encased in stone, but you wouldn't know that, would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone."

Alexander drew his laspistol with a curse and fired at the embodiment of chaos. A sharp CRACK-hiss, and a violent red beam of light shattered the pane of stained-glass where the draconequus had just been. It reappeared in another window. "Now that was rude, you didn't see me shooting you while you were yammering on about how evil I was."

Princess Celestia snapped at the mischievous entity. "Enough! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?"

Discord smiled, the representation of the elements in his window disappearing. "Oh, I just borrowed them for a teensy little while."

Celestia glowered at the demon a gold-slippered hoof pawing at the ground. "You'll never get away with this, Discord!"

Discord held out its lion paw, staring at the nails in boredom. "Oh, I'd forgotten how grim you can be, Celestia. It's really quite boring."

"Hey! Nopony insults the Princess!" In a rage, Rainbow Dash charged at the two dimensional Discord, slamming into the window as he disappeared. She peeled her face off its surface, eyes briefly gone googly.

The draconequus reappeared in front of her. "Oh, you must be Rainbow Dash, famed for her loyalty, the Element of Harmony you represent."

Rainbow Dash puffed up proudly. "That's right! I'll always be loyal to the Princess!"

Discord vanished from the window. "We'll see about that."

Rarity tossed her head in derision. "I can't believe we're wasting our time talking to a tacky window."

The chimera appeared in the window next to Rarity. "The beautiful Rarity, representing the element of generosity, if I'm not mistaken?"

Applejack snorted. "So you know who we are, big deal."

Discord grew to fill the entirety of the display. "Oh, I know much more than that, honest Applejack."

Twilight stepped forward. "You seem to know our strengths, too?" Discord moved to a different

"Yes, Twilight Sparkle, and yours is the most powerful and elusive element, magic. Fluttershy's is kindness and Pinkie Pie's is a personal favorite of mine - laughter." Discord gave a laugh, eliciting a snicker from Pinkie Pie.

Twilight glared at her friend. "Pinkie!"

Pinkie Pie burst out laughing, pointing at the window Discord was in. "He's standing on your head!"

Alexander looked. Sure enough, the two-dimensional figure was doing a moonwalk on stained-glass Twilight's head. It disappeared, reappearing on the floor in front of Alexander. "Finally, we have the wild card of the group. The human Alexander. The lost warrior of a xenophobic race. What's the matter, Guardsman? Your Emperor unable to help you?" The draconequus disappeared before Alexander's lasbolt struck the floor. It reappeared in the first window it had shown up in, wagging its finger at the irate human. "Temper, temper."

Princess Celestia stomped angrily. "Stop stalling, Discord! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?"

Discord grunted. "Oh, so boring, Celestia. Really? Fine, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way. To retrieve your missing elements just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began." The frieze returned to normal as Discord's laugh hung in the empty air.

Fluttershy trembled, once again latched onto Alexander's leg. "Can we go home now?"

Applejack scratched her head, not hearing the yellow pegasus. "What do you reckon he meant? Twists and turns and ending back where we started?"

Twilight started pacing, murmuring to herself as she pondered Discord's riddle. She stopped, and stared out the window, one of the regular ones that separated the one of stained glass. "That's it! I bet Discord hid the elements in the palace labyrinth!" Out the window could be seen a vast maze grown from tall hedgerows.

Princess Celestia stood tall. "Good luck, my little ponies. The fate of Equestria is in your hooves."

Twilight stood proudly. "Thanks, Princess. We won't let you down." With that, Twilight and her friends galloped out the door. Alexander turned to the worried princess.

"Don't worry, I'll keep them safe." Saluting, Alexander followed the ponies out the door.

That unnatural laughing filled the empty air once more.

Alexander and the ponies stood in front of the entrance to the Palace labyrinth. Fluttershy shrunk away from it. "We have to go in there?"

Rainbow Dash shot into the air. "Nope! Dopey Discord forgot about these babies!" She flexed her wings. "I'll just do a quick flyover and we'll have the Elements in no time." As she shot off towards the maze, her wings vanished in a burst of yellow light. Crashing to the ground, Rainbow Dash stared in disbelief at her back. "My wings!"

Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity screamed as their respective wings and horns vanished as well.

There was a flash of yellow light in front of the maze entrance. There, in the chaotic flesh, stood Discord, cackling wildly. Alexander jumped between the mares and the draconequus, chainsword drawn. "Oh, you should have seen the looks on your faces," Discord gloated, ignoring the angry human.

Twilight pushed her way in front of Alexander, pawing at the ground with one hoof. "Give us our horns and wings back!"

Discord smile evilly. "You'll get them back in good time. I simply took them to ensure there's no cheating. You see, this is the first rule of our game: no flying, and no magic."

Rainbow Dash frowned, confusion evident on her face. "The first rule?"

A smaller Discord appeared from behind the wingless cyan pegasus, disappearing again as Alexander lunged for the offending being, reappearing up on top of a hedge. "The second rule is everypony has to play or the game is over, and I win. Good luck, everypony!" He laughed, disappearing in a yellow flash that had quickly become very annoying.

Alexander stood and brushed himself off, cursing under his breath as he did so.
Twilight rallied her friends. "Never fear, girls. We have each other!"
"Yeah! Like Twilight said, there's nothing we can't overcome if we all stick together!" Rainbow Dash boasted.
The mane six lined up side by side outside the maze, Alexander standing behind. Twilight thrust a hoof forward. "All right, girls, let's do this!" The ponies marched into the maze, Alexander close behind.

No sooner had they made it two steps into the maze when hedges sprung up between the ponies and the human, separating the ponies inside the maze and trapping Alexander outside of it.

Alexander revved his chainsword. "Hang on girls, I've got this." Chainsword screaming, the guardsman began to hack away at the offending plants. After several sweaty minutes, Alexander stopped to catch his breath, glaring at the bush as it grew back in place.

"Right, no more mister nice guy." Clipping his sword to his side, Alexander pulled his flamer from his back. "Stand back girls, things are about to get hot." Lighting the pilot light, Alexander hefted the flamer and pulled the trigger. The flamer coughed. Shit, I forgot it was empty...what the hell? Alexander stared in astonishment at the pink bubbles spewing from the nozzle of his flamer.

"Now, now, no Cheating," Discord admonished, leaning over the perplexed human's shoulders. "Besides, would burning them alive be such a good idea?"

"GAH!" Alexander screamed in brief terror, swinging a fist at the draconequus. Right before his punch connected, Discord vanished in a cloud of smoke, Alexander's fist connecting with something hard and unyielding. Yelping, Alexander nursed his hand, glaring at the short log he had punched with the yellow smiley face on it. Discord stood upside down on...nothing.

"What do you want, freak?" Alexander glowered at the reality breaking creature in front of him.

Discord laughed. "That game, that you so rudely tried to cheat at, was for me and the girls." He pulled a cigar stub out of...somewhere...and began smoking in reverse, the burnt stub growing larger until he had an unsmoked cigar. "I've got a special game in mind for you."

Alexander fingered his gun, frowning at the monster in front of him. Discord smiled, something that unsettled the young guardsman immensely.

"If you can get to the princesses in the palace, you win."

"That's it?"

"That's it!" Discord popped up sitting sideways on a tree. "By the way, there's an old friend to see you." He snapped his eagle talons, smirking malignantly.

The blood drained from Alexander's face as a roar like a landing troop carrier filled the air. He turned around, immediately regretting it. "Oh, crap." Alexander turned and began to run for the royal palace on the other side of Canterlot like the demons of the warp were chasing him.

With another eardrum-rending screech, the carnifex gave chase as Discord watched laughing, eating from a popcorn bucket filled with cotton candy. "Tag, you're it!"

Author's Note

I lost count of how many times I had to watch the first episode of season 2 on youtube to make sure I got the exchanges between everypony and Discord just right. From this point on, AGiE will be exploring what happened while the mane 6 searched for the elements of Harmony.

The Return of Chaos part 2

"Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap!" Alexander tore down the cobbled streets of Canterlot, barely able to keep his wits about him. He chanced a glance over his shoulder at the immense four-armed behemoth rampaging behind him. The carnifex was bearing down on him at full tilt, the chitinous terror's maw open as it stepped on a hapless unicorn. Alexander almost stopped in astonishment when he saw the flattened pony stick a hoof in his mouth and reinflate himself, walking off as if nothing had happened.

The carnifex was getting closer, viscous fluid dangling from its jaws in venomous strands as it snapped at his heels. Alexander cast around, desperate for a reprieve. He spied a narrow alley between two buildings and dived into it, barely avoiding the carnifex as it lunged for him. Alexander rolled over as the carnifex lashed one of its forearms into the alley, a scything talon longer than Alexander was tall stabbing into the cobblestones between his legs. Alexander scrabbled back out of reach, white as a sheet. The carnifex snarled at the shaking human then moved away, disappearing from view around the corner.

Alexander sighed in relief, getting to his feet. He tried to catch his breath, knees shaking from an adrenal overdose. "That was too close."

Alexander spoke too soon. The carnifex smashed into the buildings on either side of the alley with the crab claw-like appendages below its front pair of legs, forcing its way towards the guardsman. "Shit!" Alexander fled from the alley, the buildings collapsing as the towering tyranid barreled through into the open.

Alexander turned the corner, scrambling into the main plaza. He could see the royal palace at the other end. As the carnifex skid into the plaza, Alexander put on an extra burst of speed he hadn't known he had. He burst through the gates, slamming them shut in the carnifex's face. The heavy doors did little to slow the carnifex as it smashed the gates open, knocking Alexander to the ground. The carnifex towered over the human, glowering at the insignificant speck that had vexed it so. The carnifex roared in the human's face, Alexander eyes watering at the rancid, festering stench of rotting flesh that eminated from its maw. Alexander shut his eyes, bracing for the end as the carnifex stabbed a talon down at his head.

After a pregnant pause, Alexander slowly opened an eye. Both eyes almost popped out of his skull as Alexander saw the carnifex's talon hovering an inch from his face. Scrambling away, Alexander saw that the carnifex had turned to stone.

As Alexander stared at the petrified tyranid, Discord appeared on top of the stone behemoth's head. "Well, well, well," the draconequus drawled sardonically. "It appears you've made it to home base before Chompers here could tag you. You're better at these games than I thought." He flashed away before Alexander could do anything. "See you soon."

Alexander collapsed on the ground, absolutely exhausted. He shut his eyes, wishing that the nightmare would end. A shadow covered Alexander's face. He opened his eyes and found a unicorn guard wearing golden armor looking down at him from above. "The Princess would like to have a word with you."

Alexander followed the royal guard into the Canterlot library, mouth agape as he took in the sheer volume of the literary works of knowledge present. He made the sign of the Aquila when he saw Princess Celestia. "Your Highness."

Celestia smiled warmly at the guardsman as he removed his helmet, though worry was evident on her face. "Alexander, I'm glad to see you are well."

Alexander grimaced. "As well as can be expected when you've just been chased through the streets by a monster that wants to eat you."

Princess Celestia frowned. "Yes, I heard. What was that?"

Alexander shook his head. "A monster from the past that I had hoped to never see again."

Celestia looked at Alexander, deciding that that was probably the most she was going to get out of him on that subject. "Well, I am happy that nopony was hurt."

"Oh, Celly, I wouldn't have let it hurt him," Discord retorted, unfolding himself from a book on a shelf. "Much." He chuckled evilly. He picked up a glass of chocolate milk and held an empty pitcher above.

Alexander stepped between Discord and Celestia. "What do you want, Demon?"

Discord guffawed, the chocolate milk pouring out of the glass up into the empty pitcher. "I just wanted you to see the show." He snapped his talons, a projector screen unfurling from the wall. Another snap of the talons, and an unseen projector began projecting images on the screen. "Oh, and before I go and have my fun, the item you seek is where your quest had begun." With a giggle, Discord folded himself up like origami until he disappeared.

Alexander scratched his head. "What was he talking about?" Alexander and Celestia turned to stare at the projector screen. What they saw was disturbing. The six mares that Alexander had befriended were bickering amongst themselves. Alexander was aghast. "What happened? Why are they so, grey? And, where's Rainbow Dash?" Alexander asked, suddenly realizing that the screen only showed five of the mane six.

Princess Celestia bowed her head, her mane drooping. "They have been disharmonized by Discord, lost touch with their true selves." As they watched the screen, Twilight's color faded before their very eyes. "We must remind them of who they are, remind them of their friendship."

Alexander glanced at the alicorn skeptically. "And just how do you propose we do that?"

Celestia strode to a plain wooden case sitting on a desk at the far wall. "Ever since Twilight moved to Ponyville, she has been sending me weekly Friendship Reports."

"'Friendship Reports?'" Alexander scoffed. "Really?"

"Yes," replied the solar alicorn evenly. "I can only hope they can remind Twilight of who her friends are. After that, it will be all up to her." She opened the case, then rested her head on the desk with a groan.

Alexander rubbed his face. "Let me guess. He took the friendship reports?" Celestia nodded. "That must be what he was talking about earlier. Let's see. What we seek is where my quest began." Alexander began to pace. "That could mean the maze where the carnifex appeared. No, no, too obvious." He scratched his nose. "It can't be in the tower. That would be too easy. Where-? I've got it!" Alexander exclaimed.

Celestia looked up and giggled despite herself.

"What?" Alexander looked up, a lit yellow light bulb floating above his head. "I hate that guy." He grabbed the light bulb and threw it away before turning to the giggling alicorn. "Princess, can you send me to the Everfree Forest?"

Celestia stopped giggling, an inquisitive look on her face.

"My 'quest' (as Discord put it) in Equestria began where I arrived. I think that's where we'll find the...Friendship reports." God-Emperor, that was almost as bad as 'cutie mark.' Gag. "I need to be there yesterday."

Celestia seemed unsure. "How will I know when to bring you back?"

Alexander stopped. He hadn't thought that far. "Can't I just take them to Twilight?"

The princess shook her head. "No, she may not even be in Ponyville when you get there. It would take too long to find her before the damage caused by Discord became permanent. I can send the reports to Spike instantly with my magic, and Twilight is sure to take Spike with her if she goes anywhere."

Alexander sighed. "Alright, fine. Just...give me a few hours, then zap me back."

Celestia nodded, and the library disappeared in a flash of golden sunlight.

Author's Note

This is only the first half of part 2. the second half will added once my sounding board gets back to me. I'll be posting it separately for a few days before lumping it back in. Enjoy

The Return of Chaos part 2.5

Alexander materialized in a flash of sunlight at the edge of the Everfree Forest. He took a step to steady himself, and vomited.

"BLARK!"

Alexander wiped his mouth with a sleeve, then replaced his respirator on his helmet. Right, concussion plus teleportation equals barfing. Urg. He stood up, taking stock of his surroundings. The Everfree Forest stretched in front of him as far as the eye could see to either side. Alexander turned to look at Ponyville. "Holy God-Emperor..."

Ponyville was a disaster zone. Buildings floated haphazardly, ponies were walking up nothing, completely ignoring the laws of physics...or whatever this place had. Pink cotton candy clouds zipped to and fro above checkered and plaid hills, the sun and moon bouncing back and forth above and below the horizon like psychedelic yo-yos. I need to hurry.

Alexander followed the edge of the Everfree until he came to a recently used path. Yeah, this looks about right. Plunging into the forest, Alexander followed the path until he arrived at a familiar grotto, a rotting manticore carcass splayed near the clearing's far edge, torn apart by whatever scavengers made the forest their home. "Well, that was convenient." Above the trees, Alexander thought he could see a crumbling structure off in the distance. Making a mental note to check it out later, he returned to the site of his first battle in Equestria.

Alexander traced the broken ground to the edge of the clearing. Looking up, Alexander could see a trail of broken branches and deformed bushes marking where he had burst into the clearing. He checked his laspistol's charge. Satisfied, the guardsman stepped into the forest. As he slowly tracked his progress, a thought occurred to him. It didn't appear that Discord's chaotic influence extended into the forest. Was it because there were no ponies here to torment?

Alexander stopped. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. Watching the woods warily, Alexander continued to follow his trail. He ground to a halt when a golden eagle with two heads flew by, the symbol of the Imperium and the Emperor Himself. Alexander was awestruck. He followed the raptor into a clearing, where it perched on a large grey rock, radiating power. Alexander approached it reverently.

"My Emperor?"

"Why do you aid these inferior beings?"

Alexander took a step back. "Wha-?"

"Why do you grovel at their feet? You are a soldier of my Imperium. You are the strongest among these weak xenos! It is Humanity's right to rule all other inferior races! You alone survived the test that your regiment failed. Take control of these soft animals and we can rule over them together!"

Alexander stared at the golden eagle in confusion. A dark fury overcame the guardsman as realization struck him. He drew his chainsword, pointing it at the two-headed bird of prey accusingly. "You...are not the emperor."

"YOU DARE-"

"You are nothing but a false prophet, sent to turn me from my quest. The Emperor was a kind and just ruler, who mourned those who were lost fighting in his name. He sacrificed himself to save us all from chaos. He would never have slaughtered an entire regiment for something as trivial as a TEST!" Alexander swung his sword with a strangled yell of rage, the sword's screaming teeth tearing through the phony predator. "RAAAGH!" The golden apparition evaporated with a screech. In its place rested a box Alexander had seen once in a library. A slow clapping stayed his hand as he reached for the box.

"Once again, you surprise me, guardsman."

Alexander spun around. "Discord. Why am I not surprised?" he snarled, drawing his laspistol.

The draconequus sat in a red-upholstered theater chair, a mocking grin on his face. "I must say, I did not expect you to come here. I would have thought you would have gone back to the maze." His jolly expression turned dower. "Still, I can't just let you run around to interrupt my fun." He snapped his lion's paw.

Alexander paled at a familiar growl snarling behind. He spun around to see...nothing. The bewildered human looked around in confusion before he felt something smack into his shin. He looked down.

"What the hell?"

Attacking Alexander's leg was a carnifex the size of a chihuahua, its blunted teeth and claws scrabbling at the armor fruitlessly. The human just stood staring at the pint-sized terror before a laugh brought him back to his senses.

Discord was giggling like a schoolkid who had placed a tack on his teacher's chair. "Oh, you should have seen the look on your face, priceless!" He wiped a tear from his eye and flicked it away, the tear exploding in a puff of fire.

Alexander aimed his laspistol. "Yeah, well you should see the look on yours." He fired at Discord. Discord stopped laughing, his face blackened by the las-shot. He glared at Alexander.

"Well, I was just going to trap you here, but now, you've made me angry." He jumped out from behind the boulder in the middle of the clearing next to the guardsman. Alexander swung his sword at Discord, but it turned into powdered sugar before it could touch him. Discord grabbed Alexander by the face-plate of his mask and pushed at Alexander's mind.

Alexander struggled weakly. "N-no..." Unable to cope with the chaotic essence invading his consciousness, his eyes rolled back into his head, and all he knew was darkness.

Discord dropped the limp human in disgust. "Such an uncivilized species. They aren't any fun at all." A snap of the talons, and a wall of thorns surrounded the clearing. "There, that should keep him. Time to spread more delicious chaos." There was a yellow burst, and the comatose human was left alone in the clearing with a miniature carnifex, delirious laughter echoing through the forest.

Alexander found himself surrounded by darkness. Floating in a void of nothingness, he began to despair. Years passed, and nothing changed. Just as he began to lose hope, a voice rang out. "Just what the HELL do you think you are doing, soldier?!"

Alexander turned in shock, saluting out of reflex. "S-sarge?" There, standing in front of Alexander was his late platoon sergeant, the orneriest, toughest sonuvabitch Alexander had ever seen.

"You are the sorriest piece of shit I ever layed eyes on, maggot!" Belted Gunnery Sergeant Johnson. "I THOUGHT I taught you better than to GIVE UP, soldier!" Alexander was speechless.

"Ease off on the guardsman, Gunney," interjected another voice. An officer stepped next to Johnson from out of the shadow. "The poor kid's been through a lot in the past few days, if you recall."

Alexander couldn't believe his eyes. "Major Minor?"

Anton Minor smiled. "In the flesh. So to speak." He smiled. "And it's Colonel Minor now, remember?" Alexander did remember. He had seen what had happened to the last colonel, been there when the major was promoted. It felt like an eternity had passed since that had happened.

"How is this possible?"

"Beats the hell out of me," stated a new voice. Alexander turned to find a familiar face. "Steve?"

Guardsman Steven MacDougal grinned. "Hey kid."

Alexander stuttered. "But-but, you all died, I saw it happen! How...?" His voice broke, and he tried to fight off tears. Steven took Alexander by the shoulder, sadness in his expression. "Just let it all out kid." At this, Alexander broke down, bawling like a child that has learned his puppy has died. To his credit, the sergeant waited for Alexander to finish before knuckling down on him.

"Alright, maggot, time to man up!"

Alexander sniffed, drying his eyes. "How are you all alive?"

The colonel shook his head. "We're not." Alexander took a step back. "Near as we can figure, when we died, we just lingered somehow."

Steve grinned, "Yeah, it'll take more than death to keep all of us down."

Alexander frowned at his words. "All of us?" For a brief moment, Alexander saw a legion of spectral figures standing around him before the mists of his mind closed in again. He swallowed. "Is there anything I can do?"

Colonel Minor smiled sadly. "There's nothing you can do to help us. We're stuck here until we can fulfill our duty to The Emperor. And He hasn't deemed it necessary to tell us what that is yet."

Alexander was horrified. That was worse than dying. Steven chuckled. "It's not so bad. We don't get tired, we don't get hungry, we don't have to go take shits, and we get to watch you mess around in some kids' vid-show. Nice job with the lion-scorpion-bat thing by the way. A bit sloppy, but not bad." Alexander smiled in spite of himself, then frowned.

"Wait, you've been watching?"

Steven began to fade. "Whoops, looks like our time is up kiddo. Be seein' you." He slowly vanished, a warm smile on his face.

Johnson grinned wickedly. "Time to wake up maggot. Make us proud." He saluted, his unsettling smile the last thing to disappear.

The Colonel pulled something off of his belt, handing it to Alexander. He saluted. "I think you'll be needing this more than I will. Good luck, soldier."

Alexander saluted back, fingers wrapped tightly around the colonel's gift as the world faded into white.

"Goodbye..."

Alexander opened his eyes, blinking against the harsh sun. He was still in the Everfree forest. He sat up and rubbed his neck, looking around. The hell did Discord do to me? Alexander surveyed the clearing, seeing that he was hemmed in on all sides by thorny bushes. He looked down. No way. In his hand was the Colonel's power sword, a master crafted rapier capable of cutting through all but the toughest of power armor. Alexander stood, his mind spinning as he held the awe inspiring sword before him.

Was it all in my head? It can't be, the Colonel gave me his sword. But how is that even possible? There was only one way to explain it: magic. He didn't like that fact, but with what he had seen that day, it was the best he could come up with. He picked the sword's scabbard up off the ground and clipped it to his belt, sheathing the blade in its home.

Oh crap, the Friendship Reports! Alexander spun around, and sighed with relief. The box was still there. He stepped over to the boulder and picked up the box. Well, I got the box, guess there's nothing left to do but just wait. As if the Solar Diarch had heard him, Alexander vanished in a flash of golden sunlight a few minutes later.

To his credit, Alexander managed not to vomit upon being teleported back to the Canterlot library. After dry heaving into a wastebasket, Alexander stood up. Princess Celestia stood before him, concern on her face. Before she could say anything, Alexander waved a hand dismissively.

"I'm fine, just don't seem to agree with teleportation. It's getting better though." He shrugged, then handed Celestia the box of Friendship Reports. "Here."

She took the box in her magic, relief clear on her face. "Thank you, Alexander. I only hope we have enough time." She sat on a chair and began pulling out neatly rolled scrolls. As she burned them with an emerald flame, Celestia turned her attention to Alexander. "Now, please, tell me what transpired in the forest."

Alexander told the royal alicorn of arriving at the edge of the Everfree Forest. He told her of the apparition sent to waylay him. He told her of Discord's prank, his retaliation and of Discord's attack on him. He stopped. Should he tell her what transpired while imprisoned in his own mind? After some debate, he brokenly told her of the predicament of his regiment, telling himself that if anyone-make that anypony-could aid them, it was the Princess of the day. Alexander drew the Colonel's sword. "And when I awoke, his sword was in my hand. I grabbed the box, and then you brought me back."

Celestia seemed disturbed at the fate of so many sentient beings. "I am afraid that your allies are beyond my ability to aid them." Alexander opened his mouth to speak, but Celestia held up a hoof, indicating that she had more to say. "I will speak with my sister. Luna may know something that I do not. As for the sword," She motioned at the rapier in Alexander's hand. "I have seen magic of the like few times in my lifetime. Such events have always been dire portents of things to come." She glanced at the projector screen, smiling at what she saw. "it appears my faithful student has found herself."

Alexander turned and saw that the projector showed Twilight regaining color. "Huh, waddya know? The Friendship Reports actually worked." Sitting down, Alexander watched with Celestia as the elements of Harmony reunited to defeat Discord, cheering as they returned him to stone and restored reality.

Author's Note

My mom actually knew a major in the army whose surname was minor. Then he got promoted. Go figure.

Bent Out of Shape

Alexander woke up as the sun began to rise. He sat up yawning, going over the events of the previous night. He had been sent back to Ponyville on a flying wagon. God-Emperor, had he really screamed like a girl the whole time? His hands were still sore from holding onto the carriage with a death grip. He was really glad they were taking the train to Canterlot for the award ceremony being held in their honor later that week.

After landing, he had been dragged to another one of Pinkie Pie's parties at the library, a 'We Defeated Discord' party apparently. Fortunately, he had had the good sense to stop at only half a barrel of hard apple cider this time. Exhausted, he had gone to Twilight's guest room, barely managing to remove his armor and strip down to his boxers and undershirt before collapsing on the bed.

Stretching, Alexander stood and stumbled groggily into the guest bathroom. He turned on the lights and looked in the mirror.

"YEEAAGH!"

Awoken by the bloodcurdling scream, Twilight came rushing into the room as fast as she could. "Alexander! Are you al-"

Alexander was livid. "Why in the name of the Emperor's brass balls am I a girl?!" Indeed, Alexander was female. His...erm...her body was more curvy, her hips were wider, and her hair, grown to shoulder length, now hung in her face.

Twilight just gaped at the now female human before understanding washed over her. "Alexander, while you were in the Everfree, did you happen to come into contact with a vine that had blue leaves?"

Alexander frowned. "Um...possibly." Her expression grew worried. "Is that bad?"

"No, it just means you came into contact with poison joke. It's a magical weed that grows in the Everfree Forest that plays magical pranks on its victims."

"Yer kidding?"

"'Fraid not."

Spike came barreling into the guest room. "Twilight! What's going on?" The baby dragon came screeching to a halt. "What the heck happened to Alexander?"

"He got turned into a girl by some poison joke."

Spike toppled over laughing. "A girl! Wahahahaha! We're gonna have to call you Alexandra now! Hahahahaha!"

Alexander glared daggers at the giggling dragon. "If you want to join me, you'll keep laughing," she threatened, icy voice dripping menace. To his credit, Spike managed to hold in his laughter until he was out of the room. Alexander turned back to Twilight. "So what do I do? Is there a cure, or am I stuck like this forever?"

Twilight smiled. "Don't worry, Alexander. There's a simple remedy for poison joke. We just need to head to the spa."

"The spa?"

"Yep. The remedy for poison joke needs to be bathed in for it to work, and the spa ponies got the recipe for the treatment bath the last time somepony got poison joke."

"Great. Just let me get dressed and--phwuah!" Alexander grimaced when she got a whiff of her clothes. "Emperor, these smell terrible."

Alexander' started in surprise as her clothes floated towards Twilight in a purple haze. "Here, I know a clean laundry spell that should do the trick." There was a flash of purple, and Alexander's clothes were floated back to her.

"Um, thanks." Alexander took her clothes and bent over to put on her pants, but her hair got in her face and mouth. "Ack, phppbt!" Spitting out her hair, Alexander picked up her backpack. "I hope there's something here I can tie my hair back with." Did I really just say that? She opened up the backpack and looked inside as a mass of chitin sprung at her face.

"EEEEEeeek! Getitoffgetitoff!" The squirming mass was yanked off of Alexander's face by a magenta aura. Alexander grasped her chest over her heart, then looked down at her chest with a scowl. "Of course I'd be flat-chested." She looked back up at the object held by Twilight's magic with a glare. Twilight looked at Alexander in confusion.

"What is that thing?"

"That is a carnifex. Or, at least it was until Discord shrunk it and blunted its claws."

"Aw, it's kinda cute."

Alexander just stared at the lavender unicorn. "It's not cute! That thing is a killing machine!"

Twilight giggled. "You really think this thing is dangerous?" She saw the look an Alexander's face. Twilight sighed. "Fine, we'll take it to Fluttershy once we've gotten you back to normal."

"We're taking it to Fluttershy? The mare that hides from her own shadow? No, this thing needs to be destroyed!"

Twilight glared at Alexander. "We are not destroying it." Her tone brooked no argument. "And Fluttershy is very good with animals."

Alexander locked eyes with Twilight for several minutes before throwing up her hands. "Fine! But don't come crying to me when it tries to kill us all!"

Half an hour later, Alexander stood in her armor next to Twilight outside the spa, the miniature carnifex in a cat carrier Twilight had summoned from somewhere. Alexander turned her head as a blue multi-chromatic streak landed nearby.

"Hey, Twilight! What's up?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Oh, hey Dash," Twilight replied. "We're just waiting for the spa to open."

"Really? Why?" Rainbow Dash turned to look at Alexander. She looked closer. "What's wrong with Alex?" Alexander grumbled something from behind the helmet's respirator. Rainbow Dash looked to Twilight.

Twilight sighed. "Alexander came into contact with some poison joke yesterday. It...turned him into a girl." Dash just stared at Twilight and Alexander for a moment, before toppling over onto her back, laughing uproariously.

Alexander grumbled at the laughing pegasus. "Yeah, just laugh it up, why don't you." She glared at Dash. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Mmm...nope!"

Alexander sighed. Thank the emperor that her torture at the...feelers?...of the poison joke was almost over. The spa ponies Aloe and Lotus opened the doors and invited Alexander, Twilight and Dash inside.

Alexander held the carrier containing the mini-carnifex at arm's length as he followed Twilight towards the small cottage by the edge of the Everfree Forest. He was ecstatic that he was his proper gender again, but he wanted nothing to do with the slavering ball of terror dangling in the cage he held. As a yellow pegasus fluttered towards them, Alexander whispered to Twilight.

"You sure about this?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes. If anypony can passify this creature, Fluttershy can."

Alexander sighed, frowning as Twilight went to talk with the shy pony. He studied the timid pegasus. He noticed that her...cutie mark, bleah...consisted of three pink butterflies. It made sense that she'd have butterflies on her rump considering how shy and nervous she seemed. Still, for her sake, he hoped Fluttershy was as good with animals as Twilight claimed.

Fluttershy flittered over to him. "Um, If it's not too much too ask...could you...um..please put it over in that enclosure? Please?" Alexander nodded, glad that he had left his helmet off, thinking that talking to a faceless creature might have been too much for the timid pony. He placed the cage in the enclosure as Fluttershy sat at the other end. "Could you..open it please? I mean.. if it's not to much to ask."

Alexander carefully reached over the short fence and unlocked the door of the carrier. The carnifex immediately charged straight for Fluttershy. Alexander was about to jump in and intervene when the yellow pegasus spoke. "Stop."

To Alexander's shock, the carnifex halted a foot away from Fluttershy. He goggled at the spectacle in front of him as his jaw hit the ground. Fluttershy was talking to the carnifex, and even more astounding, it was listening! Alexander practically blew a fuse when the carnifex started chattering back.

He looked at Twilight. "How..?"

Twilight giggled. "Nopony knows animals like Fluttershy does."

Alexander rubbed his face. He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in befuddlement. He opened his eyes to find that the carnifex had returned, staring up at him from between his feet. He froze in shock as the carnifex sprang up onto his head and curled up. A soft snore emitted from its mouth. Alexander stared at Fluttershy, eye twitching.

Fluttershy smiled at him. "She likes you."

"She?" Alexander's eye began twitching more noticeably. "How do you know it's a she?"

"I just know these things."

Alexander gently placed the snoozing carnifex into his backpack, really preferring it to be asleep. He rubbed his temples, overwhelmed by the revelation that one of the most terrifying creatures he had ever come across had been pacified by a pony. A pony! "I am so very, very tired." His stomach rumbled. "And hungry."

Twilight smiled. "Well, we did miss breakfast. C'mon, I know a great place to eat."

Honors and Duels

A few days later, Alexander stood outside the throne room behind Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. He was wearing a dress uniform sewn for him by Rarity per his specifications. A red beret sat atop his head, tilted to the right. His dress shirt and pants were a solemn olive, with red stripes on the cuffs and running down the legs. Emblazoned in gold thread on his right shoulder was the Imperial Aquila, a stylized lightning bolt on the other. Pinned to the left side of his chest were the few medals he had earned in his career. The Triple Skull was pinned on the right, earned seven years ago when most of his fungie platoon (as the youth detachments were known to the Harlech 501st) had been wiped out by Tyranid bioforms. Pinned next to it was the Eagle Ordinary, earned five years ago when he had singlehandedly charged a traitor Leman Russ tank with a 'borrowed' demo charge, crippling the tank and allowing the artillery to take it out. Finally, pinned on the far left was the Crimson Skull, earned six years ago when he had saved the life of a wounded Steven MacDougal, marking the beginning of their friendship together.

A grandiose march began to play as the doors leading to the throne room opened, pulling Alexander back to the present. He followed the six mares in front of him as they marched down the hall to stand in front of the throne. Princess Celestia stood regally in front of the throne, Spike standing sheepishly next to her. Princess Celestia smiled warmly at the gathered ponies and human.

"We are gathered here today to once again honor the heroism of these six friends who stood up to the villain Discord and saved Equestria from eternal chaos." The Princess of the sun turned to Alexander. "And to honor Alexander, a warrior from another land who aided us in our time of need, risking his life for ponies he barely knew." The throne room filled with cheering as Alexander and the mane six turned around to face the crowd.

Alexander was decidedly out of his element. He was surrounded by hoity-toity upperclass aristocrat ponies. He had never liked the human ones to begin with, and being surrounded by equine ones was just as bad, if not worse. He sighed. At least they stopped asking me questions after the first two hours. Another thing was, even though the celebration had a rather extensive buffet, it had no meat whatsoever. Come to think of it, Alexander hadn't seen any meat in the week he had been in Equestria aside from that found in his Combat Ration Packs, also known as CRPs for short. If ponies were herbivores as Alexander expected, he'd have to go hunting in the Everfree frequently. He grimaced. Guh, I'll have to gut and clean my kills myself. Alexander really hoped it wouldn't come to that.

"Hello." Alexander groaned inwardly. Another aristopony had come up to him. Emperor, I thought I was done with this.

"Um, hi."

"You must be Alexander. It is a pleasure to meet you." The unicorn offered a hoof to Alexander. Taking it, Alexander shook hands with the pony as he looked him over. His fur was white while his mane was a light blue, coiffed to have a slight waviness to it. He was wearing a black tuxedo that didn't cover his cutie mark (bleah), which consisted of three golden crowns with purple gems. He seemed to speak with a Praetorian accent. "My name is Fancy Pants, and I-"

"Where are your pants?"

"Pardon?"

"Where. Are. Your. Pants?" Alexander spoke slowly, as if to a very slow minded person.

"Ah, well," flustered Fancy Pants. "I don't wear any."

"So why do they call you Fancy Pants?"

Fancy Pants' pupils dilated as he started mumbling, unable to think of an answer. Moving away, Alexander shook his head. "I think I broke him."

He made his way through the crowd, trying to find a familiar face. He was about to give up when he heard a familiar cultured voice ring out over the murmer of the crowd. He followed the voice until he came across Rarity arguing with a blonde-maned white unicorn with a eight-pointed star cutie mark. As Alexander drew closer, he began to hear what they were saying.

"I have told you, Blueblood, I want nothing to do with you whatsoever!" Rarity declared, stamping a hoof.

The white unicorn, Blueblood Alexander presumed, snarled. "How dare you refuse me! I am a PRINCE! You should be honored that I even deign to speak with a peasant such as you."

Rarity seemed to turn bright red. "Why you stuck up, scruffy-looking, n-"

Alexander chose this moment to interject. "This thing bothering you?"

Blueblood turned to Alexander. "Finally, somepony who sees reason. This wench-"

"Wasn't talkin' to you, asshole." Alexander turned to Rarity. "Well? This freak bothering you?"

Before Rarity could answer, Blueblood practically screamed at Alexander. "How DARE you! I am a Prince, you uncultured freak of-" Alexander's fist connected with Blueblood's snout with an audible crack. Blueblood toppled over, clutching his face as Alexander returned his attention to Rarity.

"So, why was he bothering you?"

Rarity shuddered. "He seemed to believe that I would forgive him and be his consort after he used me like a servant at last year's Grand Galloping Gala. He even used me as an equine shield against a falling cake."

Alexander shook his head with a sneer. "Aristocrats, they're all the same, no matter where you go."

Blueblood was rocking back and forth on the floor, cradling his muzzle. He glared at the offending human standing above him. "By dose, you broke by dose! I'll do you for that!"

Alexander looked down at the bloodied royal. "You'll what?"

"I'll make you pay!" Blueblood shook with rage. "I challenge you to a duel."

Alexander straightened, smirking at the raging unicorn. "Article six nine zero zero stroke three seven Whiskey of Imperial Law expressly forbids enlisted men from dueling. 'Sending a request, accepting a request or fighting a duel is punishable by death by hanging.' I am afraid I cannot accept your challenge. Good day" Alexander turned and began escorting Rarity away.

Blueblood sneered. "You humans are all cowards. Your Imperium is a joke!"

Alexander stopped. He turned, his normally bright eyes turned cold and hard. "Defending humanity's honor, however, is another matter entirely. Fifteen minutes. Outside." He grabbed an observing Royal Guard. "Where are your dueling grounds?" The armored pegasus pointed, the human's icy presence striking him dumb. Alexander stalked away, his previously unseen cold demeanor parting the crowd ahead of him.

Alexander arrived at the dueling grounds and stood at one end with his arms crossed. A large crowd had gathered by the time Blueblood had arrived. A unicorn guard rolled over a stand of various dueling weapons. Blueblood immediately selected a foot and a half long capped foil. It hovered before the arrogant pony surrounded by an amber aura.

Alexander perused the weapons available. He picked up a sword, a short rapier. He snorted, tossing the weapon away. Surely there was something that he could use effectively. Inspiration struck him when he saw a familiar lavender unicorn among the crowd.

Alexander walked over to a nearby tree. Selecting an appropriate sized branch, he drew his power sword and sliced it off. Sheathing the rapier, Alexander took the branch to Twilight. "Hey, Twilight, I need a favor."

Twilight blinked. "Okay...what do you need?"

"Do you know how to turn things into other things?"

Twilight pursed her lips. "I've turned rocks into formal wear."

Alexander considered this. "Close enough." He sketched an outline in the dirt. "Can you turn a branch into this?"

Twilight furrowed her brows, then looked up at Alexander. "I've never tried something this complex. I'll need help."

"Just tell me what I need to do."

"Focus on what you want the branch to be." Twilight gritted her teeth as her horn lit up. A magenta aura surrounded the branch before it was engulfed by a white flash, leaving a blocky olive box with a tube extruding from one end in its place. Alexander smiled and picked it up. Twilight frowned. "What is it?"

Alexander grinned ferally at the unicorn. "A weapon of war."

Making his way to the dueling circle, Alexander drew his knife, a tempered six-inch steel triangular blade. He fixed the knife to the bayonet lug of the makeshift lasgun. Almost as an afterthought, Alexander covered the blade with a hard plastic training cover.

Alexander put aside the makeshift lasgun, removing his shirt and beret, leaving him in his undershirt. He tossed the shirt into the crowd, beret in a breast pocket. He picked up the lasgun, twirling it in the air before neatly shouldering it. Smirking, Alexander turned to Blueblood. "Ready when you are."

Blueblood was livid. "I challenged you to a swordfight, not whatever that is."

Alexander grinned, his eyes were anything but jovial. "As I recall, you never specified what type of fight this would be. What's the matter, chickening out?"

Blueblood turned a very impressive crimson hue. "I can beat you no matter what cheap tricks you use. Have at you!" Blueblood lunged at Alexander, thrusting with the foil.

The fight was as short as it was brutal. Good with a sword Blueblood may have been, but against a battle hardened soldier of the Imperium he didn't stand a chance.

As Blueblood thrust at Alexander, several things happened. First, Alexander stepped to the side, causing Blueblood to overextend. As he did so, Alexander unshouldered his lasgun, holding it as one would hold a shortstaff. Finally, he lashed out with a kick, sending the royal unicorn flying across the ring. Alexander charged the dazed noble as he staggered to his hooves. A terrifying ululating battle cry escaped the human's lips as he thrust with the bayonet, setting everypony present on edge. Faltering in the face of the assault and unnatural wail emanating from the human, Blueblood tried to parry the thrusting lasgun. Alexander kneed the unicorn in the jaw, smashing the butt of his lasgun into the side of Blueblood's head a moment later, brielfy knocking the noble out cold.

Blueblood came to to find Alexander sheathing his knife as he walked away, tossing aside the lasgun as it turned back into a branch. "We're finished here."

Blueblood staggered to his hooves, a red mist covering his vision. Taking the foil, he removed the protective covering. He lunged at Alexander's back. "I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU!"

Alexander drew his power sword as he turned it on, slashing while he turned. There was a bloodcurdling shriek of pain.

The two halves of Blueblood's foil fell to the grass next to the top inch of his horn. Blueblood writhed on the ground, clutching the stub of his horn as he whimpered. Alexander pressed the tip of his sword against Blueblood's throat. His eyes were filled with contempt and cold promise. "If I ever hear you insult my friends again, I'll remove more than just the tip!" Sheathing his sword, Alexander turned away, retrieving his beret and dress blouse as he went back to the banquet hall.

Blueblood lurched to his hooves, blood streaming from his nose. "Guards, arrest him! I want his head!" He looked around in confusion. The guards and ponies were all bowing. "What are you doing? Arrest that human!" A shadow fell over him. Blueblood turned around. "Auntie Tia, that thing-!"

"ENOUGH!" Thundered the royal alicorn in the Royal Canterlot Voice, a tone she rarely used. That she did so now was a testament to her anger and disappointment in her nephew. "I have put up with your nonsense long enough! It was bad enough when you used other ponies like they were your personal servants, but THIS is the last straw!"

Blueblood cowered. "B-but Auntie, he-my horn-!"

"You were lucky not to lose your head! You attacked a person who had bested you in fair combat. Now leave. We shall discuss your punishment later."

"B-but Auntie-"

"NOW!"

Blueblood slinked off, tail between his legs. Alexander stood by the entrance to the banquet hall, having stopped to watch the spectacle between the royals unfold. He saluted as Celestia gracefully approached him.

"Your Highness." Alexander greeted the alicorn. "I hope I didn't go too far?" He didn't really care, but he also didn't want to piss off a being with the power to move the sun and moon.

Celestia shook her head. "My nephew has always been a pain in the flank. Besides," replied the diarch. "His horn will grow back. Some time without magic will do him good." Princess Celestia floated a scroll to Alexander.

Alexander took the scroll. Opening it, Alexander was struck with the realization that he could read the scroll. He briefly pondered how he could understand the ponies before returning to the matter at hand. "What is it?"

Princess Celestia smiled. "It is a deed to a lot in Ponyville. A team of builders will arrive sometime this coming week to build a home for you, per your specifications. There is also a sum of one thousand bits awaiting you in the Ponyville Bank." She smiled warmly at Alexander. "Just a token of our appreciation."

Alexander had no idea how much a thousand bits were worth, but judging by the gasps from some eavesdropping nobles, it was quite a lot. He frowned. "What's the catch?"

Celestia chuckled pleasantly. "No catch. All I ask is that you live peacefully with the ponies of Ponyville, and that you make friends."

Alexander raised a brow. "Make friends? Seriously?" Celestia nodded in amusement. You know what, not the worst hand I've been delt. Alexander shrugged. "What the hell." He offered a hand to Celestia. "Deal."

Celestia took his hand in hoof and shook it. She smiled. "Shall we return to the party?"

Alexander smiled. "Sure. Why not?" Alicorn and human walked side by side into the banquet hall, joining the party already in full swing.

Author's Note

For those wondering, 'fungie' stands for FNG, or Frakking New Guy.

Ground Zero

A few days later found Alexander standing in the hallway of his new home. He was amazed at how quickly the pony builders had completed his house. He didn't have any furnishings yet though. Actually, to call the building a house was a gross understatement. It had more in common with a small fortress or bunker than anything. The outer walls of the building were made of thick blocks of stone, quarried in from the Emperor knew where. The windows on the ground floor were too small to fit through, merely slits in the stone. The entrance led to a small foyer where Alexander could store cloaks and capes for inclement weather. Beyond that was a short hallway. To the right were the living quarters. Although Alexander was going to be living alone, there was enough room for several bunks in all three rooms, in the extremely unlikely event that Alexander would have visitors staying over. As it was, they'd probably be used for storage for now. On the other side of the hall were the kitchen and an empty room that would be the gym. The kitchen was already fully equipped, and with human sized utilities no less. How the ponies had found those in just a few days was beyond Alexander. Next to that was a communal bathroom. Unfortunately, there weren't any toilets there yet.

At the end of the hallway was a staircase. Up those stairs was Alexander's sleeping quarter's and a laundry room that also served as a workshop. Further up the stairs was a small minneret with a 360 degree view of Ponyville and its surrounding territory. It was a perfect lookout point and sniper's nest. Down the stairs was a reinforced vault basement. It was to be Alexander's armory. Unfortunately, the only things to go down there right now would be his armor, his sword, a laspistol, five laspistol clips, and one empty flamer. Not much of an arsenal. Alexander shook his head. He'd have time to think about that later. For now, he needed to find furnishings that he could comfortably use.

An hour later, Alexander stood in the main square. He had spent about half of his bits purchasing furnishings that fit humans. Unfortunately, much of it had to be custom made, especially the toilets, so it would be another week until his new home was fully furnished. Not knowing what to do, he began to wander Ponyville until he recalled the distant ruins he had seen while in the Everfree Forest. He didn't know why, but something seemed to be compelling him to go there. He made his way west through town.

As he passed by Sugarcube Corner, Alexander ran into Twilight and Spike. "Twilight. Spike."

"Oh," Twilight looked up from a checklist she held in her magic, Spike waving hello. "Hello Alexander, how's your new house?"

Alexander shook his head. "It's great, but it'll be a week until any furniture arrives."

"Well, you're still welcome to stay with me until then." Twilight started to go inside before a thought occurred to her. "Um, Alexander?"

"Hm?"

"The girls and I are having a picnic later today." Twilight hesitated. "Would you like to come?"

Alexander smiled, but shook his head. "That sounds great, but I have some business to take care of."

"Oh, well, see you later then." Twilight went into Sugarcube corner, Spike waving goodbye. He seemed...uncharacteristically quiet to Alexander, but then he hadn't known him for very long.

Alexander continued to make his way west until he came across Fluttershy's cabin. Intending to pass it by, he was caught unawares as a chitinous mass dropped down from a tree and latched onto his face. Alexander gave a muffled scream and began trying to pull the miniature carnifex off his face.

"Chompers! No! Bad girl!" Alexander heard Fluttershy admonishing the tyranid before it was plucked off his face. Fluttershy began trying to apologize to Alexander as the carnifex curled up on her back and fell asleep. "I'm so terribly sorry, Alexander. I don't know what came over her."

Alexander sighed, waving her off. "It's fine," Alexander forced. "Just try to keep it on a leash or something."

"Oh, I couldn't do that to her," replied the timid pegasus. "I could never confine such a free spirit."

Alexander sighed in exasperation, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Fine! Just try to keep it off my face." Alexander started to storm off before a question rose in his mind. "Fluttershy, do ponies eat meat?"

Fluttershy considered his question. "Well, while most ponies are usually vegetarian, we do eat eggs and fish from time to time." She tried to hide behind her mane, wondering how the human would react. "Though on occasion we will eat chicken or turkey if it's available."

Alexander stared off into the distance. "Thanks Fluttershy. That answers a few questions." Guess I won't have to go hunting around here as often as I thought. The last he saw of Fluttershy before he entered the forest was the yellow pegasus talking to a rather large bear that seemed to be in some pain. Muttering to himself about how crazy ponies were going to make him go insane, Alexander stepped beyond the forest boundary.

Immediately, Alexander was plunged into an unnatural darkness by the forest canopy. Cursing, Alexander turned on his head lamp, flooding the woods in front of him with a harsh, white light. He pulled out his compass and made a hard estimation of where he wanted to go before heading in that direction. Several times, he had to use his power sword to clear away thick vegetation before he could proceed.

He had been travelling for about five minutes when he came across a small hut in the middle of a small clearing. He was about to leave when he saw a strange black and white striped pony with a mohawk that was wearing unusual gold jewelry. The pony's eyes opened in surprise, before she spoke with a strange, melodious accent. "Unless my eyes do me deceive, a human before me I do perceive."

Alexander stared at the strange, almost exotic pony. "You've heard of human's before?"

She nodded. "Creatures of myth and legend humans are here. But they are obscure and faded, many ponies never hearing of humans before this year."

Alexander regarded the strange pony. "Well, it was nice to meet you, but I've got to be going."

The striped pony smiled. "If ever you should need aid, just remember, I am not too far away."

"Thanks." I think. Checking his compass, Alexander moved off deeper into the woods. After about an hour, he came across a shallow river. Carefully, Alexander crossed it before moving on. Half an hour later, Alexander found himself surrounded by a thick fog, his floodlamp barely able to cut through the mists. Advancing cautiously, Alexander came to a halt as he came to a narrow gorge spanned by a rickety rope bridge. Across the gorge were the ruins he had seen once before from a distance. They were quite impressive, if a bit rundown.

Licking his dry lips, Alexander began his crossing. He didn't trust the bridge, but he could not see any other way across short of flying, and he was no pegasus. Carefully testing each plank of wood before putting his full weight on it, Alexander slowly but surely made it across the old bridge. Eventually, Alexander made it across safely, and he could breath a sigh in relief. He entered the castle.

After exploring the castle for a time, Alexander came across a large room that was reminiscent of the throne room in Canterlot. However, where the throne would have been there was instead a raised stone pedestal with five stone plinths. Alexander stepped closer to examine them. They looked extremely old, decades, if not centuries so. Alexander felt...drawn to the empty pedestal. A deep, glacial groan stopped Alexander dead in his tracks. He slowly looked down at the cracks forming in the floor. He swallowed. Gingerly lifting his foot, Alexander tried to get to safer ground.

With a mighty CRACK, the floor gave out, dropping Alexander into the nothingness below.

Alexander slowly came to in pitch blackness. Groaning, he flipped on his headlamp. Somehow, the fall had turned it off. Slowly raising himself to his feet, Alexander played the circle of light across the immense cavern he found himself in. What he found was almost to much to bear.

"Holy God-Emperor..."

Before Alexander rested an Imperial Navy frigate. Well, half of one. Where the front half of the ship would be was a cavern wall. It was as if the ship had materialized into the rock itself.

Alexander approached the ship. It wasn't the Dawn, but Alexander had been on a frigate before, so the emergency airlock should be right around...there. Alexander pressed a switch, and the emergency airlock opened. Still has power. Should make things a little easier. Alexander slipped on his respirator, and stepped into the ship.

Inside, the ship was eerily quiet. Alexander tried to figure out what it was, until he realized the engines were offline. Even when a ship was running silent, there would be the groaning of bulkheads and the hum of the reactors. That these sounds were absent told the human that this ship was truly dead. However, the fact that the frigate still had power meant that the reactors were still ticking over on minimum power output. That meant the life support should still be online.

Deciding to risk it, Alexander removed his respirator. He took a tentative breath, but the air was clean and without poisonous gases. Breathing a sigh of relief, he began searching for the ship's armory.

After some time, Alexander found the armory. He tried the door, but the bulkhead was locked, a keycode needed to unlock it. Alexander drew his power sword and stabbed it into the electronic lock, praying it would work. Miraculously it did. Alexander entered the armory.

The first thing that struck Alexander as odd was that this armory was still fully stocked, not a weapon or tool out of place. The second thing that stood out to the guardsman was the row of gunmetal grey space marine power armor. Alexander examined one of the suits of power armor. The suit was of a pattern Alexander had never seen before. It was for the most part unpainted, with the exception of the shoulder pads, which were covered in flowing words and glyphs picked out in gold that Alexander didn't understand, though some seemed to be written in high gothic. The cyan-lensed helmet reminded Alexander of that of a primitive suit of plate armor, a strange adamantium cowl raised above it. Embossed on the chest, where the Imperial Aquila would normally be, was a familiar barbed capital I, the symbol of the Imperial Inquisition. Looking at the other suits of power armor, Alexander saw that every suit had the Inquisitorial Rosette engraved somewhere at least once. He had heard rumors that the Inquisition had its own pet chapter, but he had never believed that. Until now.

Alexander moved on from the rows of power armor to the weapons lockers. Row upon row of Astartes bolters greeted him. Alexander gazed at the boltguns longingly. He would have loved to be able to fire those inch-thick, mass-reactive bolt shells in battle. Unfortunately, if he ever tried firing one of those fully automatic rocket launchers, the recoil would more likely than not tear his arm right out of his socket. Not to mention the fact that using, much less touching an Adeptus Astartes boltgun would likely result in a ten-ninety. Sighing, he moved on to the next cages.

These weapons cages actually had weapons Alexander could use. Grinning like an idiot, he sliced the gate open and picked up a hellgun, a special forces version of a lasgun that traded longevity and ammo for greater penetration and stopping power. Alexander put it back as another lasgun variant caught his eye. He lifted a longlas off its hooks, cradling it in his arms. A sniper's weapon, he had always wanted to use one, but his requests had always been turned down. Now however, it would be a great boon if he ever went hunting. Slinging it over his shoulder, Alexander stuffed his pockets with as many lasgun and laspistol powerpacks as he could before moving on.

In the next cage were various support weapons. Grenade launchers with drum mags, flamers, the tempermental plasmagun, the tank killing meltagun, heavy bolters that spat fist-sized bolts, autocannons that could tear heavy infantry and light vehicles to pieces, lascannons that could turn the heaviest armor to slag. Alexander practically drooled over the amount of firepower present in the room. Sadly, he had neglected to bring his backpack with him when he set out, and he had no way to lug the heavy, crew-manned weapons on the wall. Nor could he find any promethium for the flamer he had left in Ponyville. It had all gone bad, and Alexander didn't know how to rejuvenate it. Sighing, he left the armory, knowing that he could come back with a wagon or something to carry the weapons and equipment in.

Alexander stopped outside the armory as a thought occurred to him. Where are the bodies? He realized that he had not seen so much as a finger bone the entire time he had been on the ship. He needed answers. He looked aft. He wouldn't be able to reach the bridge, not through solid stone. That only left the enginarium and the communications hub. Knowing from experience how easy it was to get lost in the vast enginarium, Alexander decided to try the communications hub.

Alexander crept through the halls, laspistol drawn. He hoped whatever had disappeared the crew was long gone, but with his luck, it wouldn't be. Eventually, he came to the comms hub. He opened the door, clearing the room with his laspistol out. It was empty. Holstering his pistol, Alexander moved to a cogitator and sat down. He reached out, turning it on with a flick of a switch. To his relief, the screen glowed green as the machine came to life. Cracking his knuckles, Alexander tried to pull up the ship's log. He jumped as a loud squawk sounded from the machine, an error message coming up on the screen.

--ERROR--
--DATABASE CORRUPTED--
--OPEN LAST RECORDED COMMUNICATION?--
--Y/N?--

Alexander frowned. He pressed the 'y' key. The cogitator's screen flickered, displaying a new message.

--PROCCESSING--

--WARNING!--
--DATA CORRUPTED--
--CONTINUE?--
--Y/N?--

Alexander hit the 'y' key again. This time, it took several minutes for the cogitator's screen to pull up the last message received by the frigate's crew.

--INCOMING TRANSMISSION--
--CLEARANCE LEVEL: MAGENTA--
--ERROR--ENCRYPTION ERROR--
--DISPLAYING DATA--
--INQUISITOR--
--IT CT A-P1592 “ALEXANDER” SURVIV  PURGE OF PROJERL ON PERSEUS OMNICRON VIII. SUBJECT  CONFIRMED  HARLECH 501EGIMENT. RENTLY ASSIGNED ABOARD RWARD UNTO DAWN. THE  TERMINATE, AND  WITH O BE PASSIFIED. NY MEANS NECES. BY THE EMPEROR’S GRACE--
-AVE IMPERATOR REX HUMANITUS--
--END TRANSMISSION--

Alexander slumped in his seat, face pale. No, it's gotta be some kinda mistake. Alexander had been betrayed. His regiment had been betrayed, by the very Imperium that they had given their lives to defend. He didn't know why, but the Inquisition had wanted him dead, and had sacrificed an irreplacable ship and every soul aboard just to kill him. He stumbled out of the communications center, emotions a storm of uncertainty and pain. He left the ship, staggering down a rocky passage. He blundered out of the cavern into the Everfree Forest, ominous black clouds brewing overhead. Tripping on a root, Alexander fell. He pulled himself to his knees, screaming into the gathering storm above.

It was a primal thing, full of hurt and loss, pain and betrayal. He screamed until his throat was raw, until he could scream no more. He slumped down as the heavens opened up. Torrents of rain and blown branches battered Alexander, but he felt none of it, his mind and emotions in turmoil.

A low, eerie howl brought Alexander to his senses. He raised his head to find that he was surrounded, red glowing eyes materializing out of the darkness around him. A large wooden wolf as big as Big Macintosh stalked out of the foliage, snarling at the human as it pounced. Rage filled Alexander as he drew his sword and knife. Snarling in return he charged at the timberwolf, his eyes ablaze. As the two beings tore at each other, the storm opened up in earnest, thunder and lightning flashing above the combatants.

In Ponyville, everypony cowered in their cellars as the storm of the century raged outside their homes as the weather pegasi gave up trying to tame the storm. In Canterlot, Princess Luna stopped talking to her sister in alarm as they threw up a powerful magical shield, protecting the city from the unnatural weather. The storm would continue raging for several hours, until a bloodied figure covered in mud stumbled into the Golden Oaks Library in Ponyville early the next morning.

Nightmares

Twilight sat at her kitchen table, wisps of steam curling up past her baggy eyes from the mug of coffee in front of her. Spike walked into the room, yawning as he rubbed sleep from his eyes.

"Mornin' Twi." The baby dragon looked around blearily. "Alexander still not coming out?"

Twilight sighed. "I don't know what to do. He's been locked up in the guest room for a week now, and he won't come out."

"I know." Spike shrugged. "Maybe he just needs some time alone. He was pretty banged up when he got back, remember?"

Twilight stared into her coffee. "I just wish I knew what to do, Spike. I-"

A heavy creaking came from the guestroom stairway, interrupting Twilight. She looked up to see a bedraggled Alexander leaning against the doorframe, a week-old beard covering his haggard face, his clothes rumpled and covered in sweat stains. The unicorn wrinkled her nose at the smelly human. Spike gagged as his cheeks puffed out. Alexander sat down at the table, eyes boring into the wood. Twilight gazed at the human with concern. "Are you okay?"

Alexander gave a long sigh, shaking his head. "No."

"Do...do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Spike tugged at Twilight's tail. "Aw, leave 'im alone Twi'. You should know guys don't like to talk about our feelings like you girls do." Somehow, that got Alexander to smile for the ghost of a second.

Twilight grumbled for a moment before sighing. "Alexander, I-" She stumbled over her words. "I'm just glad you aren't hurt."

"Thanks."

"Will you be joining the festivities today?"

"Festivities?"

Twilight nodded. "Tonight is Nightmare Night."

"What's Nightmare Night?"

"Pssh. It's only the most awesome night ever!"

Twilight gave a stern look to the baby dragon before turning to Alexander. "Every year, all the ponies in Ponyville dress up in costume and go door to door to get candy." She grinned. "We also get together in the town square for fun and games."

Spike jumped up and down in excitement. "We also get to scare the stuffings out of everypony!"

"Spike!"

Spike scuffed at the floor with a foot. "Well, we do."

Alexander gazed into the distance. Emperor knew it had been awhile since he had had any reason to laugh, or even smile. He just didn't feel like celebrating however. "No, I'm...just not in the mood." He made to head to his room.

Twilight called after him. "Make sure you shower!"

"Yeah, you smell worse than the Cutie Mark Crusaders after they tried pig farming!' Twilight glared at the baby dragon. He shrugged. "What?"

Alexander lay on the bed, staring blankly at the wall. He had been lying listlessly there ever since he had returned that morning, only getting up to address bodily needs. For his whole life, he had had purpose, defending the Imperium from all threats without and within. But now, in the face of his betrayal at the hands of those he had given his life in service to, he was purposeless. He was a rudderless ship set adrift on a vast, stormy sea. He had always known what to do in any given situation, confident his allies would be there with him. But now...he just didn't know. For the longest time, Alexander simply laid there moping as day bled into night.

Screams of terror snapped Alexander out of his funk. Instincts screaming an attack was under way, Alexander leapt to his feet, snagging his helmet and laspistol on his way out the door. Taking the stairs two at a time, he leapt down the last ten, landing in a crouch. Reaching the front door, he kicked it open, laspistol at the ready. Not seeing any ponies in sight, he followed the screaming to the center of town.

He came to a halt as he beheld the colorful ponies, all wearing varieties of just as colorful costumes, bowing before a cloaked and hooded figure. Alexander watched in amazement as the hood was swept back to reveal a striking midnight blue alicorn with a flowing blue mane filled with flickering stars. Alexander heard a pony wearing a fake beard whisper the pony's name. "Princess Luna!" Wait, is that Twilight? Why's she dressed as an ecclesiarch?

"Citizens of Ponyville! We have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real princess of the night! A creature of nightmare is no longer, but instead a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!" There was a dramatic flash of lightning.

Holy Emperor on Terra, that's loud! Despite the fact that the helmets worn in the Imperial Guard were designed to suppress sounds above certain decibels, Alexander could still feel his ears ringing. What kind of lungs did that pony have? He missed what exactly was said next as he shook the ringing out of his ears, but whatever had happened, most of the ponies had vacated the square in terror, and the midnight blue alicorn was trotting off in a huff.

Alexander walked up to Twilight. "Twilight, what just happened?"

Twilight turned, delight on her face. "Alexander! You came!"

Alexander nodded. "I heard screaming."

"Man, but do you stink!" Twilight glared at the baby dragon. Spike threw his arms wide. "What?"

Alexander looked at the baby dragon with a frown. He was wearing a...dragon costume. Did he really go as himself? Alexander turned back to Twilight. "So, what happened?"

Twilight seemed unsure. "Well, Princess Luna came to visit, but everypony is terrified of her."

Alexander scoffed. "Seriously? She scared them? Pfft." Alexander lifted an eyebrow. "I don't see it. What's so scary about her?"

"Because she's Nightmare Moon!"

"Spike!" Twilight glared at the purple dragon. "She is not Nightmare Moon anymore! I saw the Elements of Harmony change her back to good! But it seems like she's having some trouble adjusting after being gone for a thousand years."

Alexander blinked. "Wait. What?" He stared at Twilight in confusion. "Change her back to good? What does that even mean?" Twilight quickly gave Alexander a quick rundown on the Mare in the Moon legend and the events of the previous year's Summer Sun Celebration. Alexander was deeply disturbed. "That sounds very much like a demonic possession." He gazed off to where the princess of the night had disappeared. "But, if you say the taint has been purged, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt for now. Trust, however, is something that'll have to be earned." Alexander sighed. "I trust you'll keep her out of trouble?" Twilight nodded. "Good."

"I'll see you later. Come on Spike!" Twilight galloped off after the princess, spike in tow. Alexander shook his head. "I hope she's right. Demons are not to be trifled with." Alexander pulled a worn photo from his thigh pocket, gazing at it with sad nostalgia. "We learned that the hard way, didn't we Mikael?"

Pleasant Dreams

Alexander put the photo away with a sigh. A voice sounded from over his shoulder. "Who's that?" Alexander looked over his shoulder, but no one was there. "Up here." Alexander looked up.

"The hell?" Floating above him on a black storm cloud was a rainbow maned pegasus wearing a dark purple bodysuit with yellow highlights.

"You-what-how? That's not pos--You're on a cloud!" Alexander's brain was threatening to short out.

"Well, yeah. I am a pegasus, duh!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"It does if yer a pegasus."

Alexander made a strangling sound, left eye twitching. Moving to a nearby wall, Alexander began bashing his head against the building. "What." thunk! "Did." thunk! "I." thunk! "Do." thunk! "To get sent here?" thunk! He removed his head from the dented wall. "What do you want?"

Rainbow tilted her head. "Who was that in the picture with you?"

"A friend."

After Alexander didn't elaborate, Dash shrugged. "Whatever. Nice zombie costume, by the way." She waved a hoof in front of her face. "You even smell the part. Ooh, ooh! There's an easy group over there!" Rainbow dashed off, pushing the storm cloud ahead of her. Alexander heard startled screams following a crack of thunder. Frowning, Alexander cautiously gave his pit a sniff. Recoiling in disgust, Alexander realized he hadn't bathed in over a week. Gagging, Alexander returned to the library for a shower.

Alexander stepped out onto the balcony at the top of the Golden Oaks LIbrary. Having washed off all the mud and wolf's blood, he felt much better, if not still lost and purposeless. He leaned on the railing, staring out over Ponyville. A booming voice carried to Alexander from Ponyville. Frowning, Alexander pulled the nearby telescope off its mount and peered through it, trying to find the source of the yelling.

Alexander found what he was looking for in the main square. It appeared that Princess Luna was angrily screaming at the villagers for whatever reason. And there's the dramatic thunder and lightning. How does she do that? ...Oh, right. Magic. Rolling his eyes, Alexander examined the princess. Well, no signs of corruption. Yet. Her eyes were glowing white as she yelled at Twilight Sparkle. Alexander tensed up, wishing he had brought his longlas sniper to the balcony with him. While glowing white eyes weren't a sign of demonic corruption, it was something Alexander had learned to equate with a psyker using his powers, and therefor something to be wary of. Dark, ominous clouds began swirling above Ponyville as Luna rose into the air. Alexander was really missing his longlas at that moment.

It was therefor some relief when Luna stalked off towards the park, Alexander letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Alexander watched as the princess of the night's anger gave way to sadness, leading him to wonder if he hadn't misjudged the princess. Still, Alexander wasn't completely convinced of the absense of demonic influence. He had made that mistake once before, and he wasn't going to make it again. He replaced the telescope and climbed down the stairs leading inside.

Alexander retrieved his longlas and began to look it over. Taking a targeting laser out, he placed it in the end of the barrel. Using the red dot hovering on the wall, he calibrated the rifle's scope to zero in on five hundred yards. It took him about fifteen minutes until he was satisfied with the sights. Slinging the rifle over one shoulder, Alexander picked up a high-power hotshot clip and returned to the balcony. Loading the sniper rifle, Alexander leaned it against the railing, picking up the telescope. To his disconcertion, he couldn't find Luna anywhere. Cursing, he searched Ponyville until his gaze settled on a group of foals approaching a rather menacing statue of a fanged alicorn. Why are they giving candy to a statue?

Alexander gave a startled shriek as the statue came to life. Scrambling up off the balcony floor, Alexander grabbed his longlas and sighted in on the demonic statue. He blinked as the demonic alicorn shrunk down into a familiar form. The guardsman groaned as Twilight walked up to the alicorn, Luna giggling as she spit out a set of plastic fangs. It was a joke? To say Alexander was relieved that he hadn't pulled the trigger was an understatement. That would have been hard to explain to her sister. A chill went down Alexander's back as he tried to imagine Celestia's wrath. He was also extremely glad no one saw his little...panic attack. He somehow doubted that Rainbow Dash would let him live that down.

Alexander continued to watch Luna for the remainder of the night's festivities until she returned to Canterlot. Returning to the library downstairs, Alexander chuckled as he recalled how Luna had pranked Rainbow Dash with her own thundering stormcloud gag. Entering his room, Alexander sat on the bed and began to clean and service his weapons. It took longer than normal, but then again, he hadn't cleaned his gear for over a week. Finishing, Alexander put away his weapons and undressed, getting into his bed. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Fire. Death. Despair. Demons cavorted in the streets as ponies ran screaming or died. Animals' heads impaled on pikes by a burning forest-side cottage. An apple orchard decayed into ruin, any pony that tried to eat its apples turning painfully to trees. A home in a tree burned. Buildings collapsed. A city in the clouds died, its rainbows weeping blood. A mountain-side city collapsed, crashing into the ground below. A vast forest was consumed by a wave of darkness, the animals within dissolving as they writhed. A town in the desert was swallowed by sand, apple trees turning to dust. A monstrous army of crystal and shadow marched from the frozen northern wastes, a demon of darkness at the head. Strange insectoid ponies died in the scores as they were possessed by eldritch abominations, their black carapaces twisting and deforming. Ethereal beings an icy blue latched onto ponies, draining them into husks. The dead streamed from the ground to devour the living. Equestria burned.

Alexander tossed and turned as images of disaster and doom assailed his mind, sweating as he murmured. +You seem troubled, my friend.+ An insubstantial apparition manifested itself above Alexander. +You are afraid that you won't be able to protect them, aren't you?+ The apparition lightly caressed the assembled weapons in the room. +You fear failing your new comrades, as you believe you failed your old.+ The presence floated to the window. +Their deaths were of no fault of yours, friend. The guilt you feel is that of a survivor.+ The ghostly figure returned to Alexander. +One that should not be your burden to carry.+ The phantasm touched Alexander's fevered brow. His tortured face relaxed, his nightmares dissolving into dreams of a happier time. +Sleep peacefully old friend. You will save this world as you once saved me. Pleasant dreams, Alexander.+ The apparition faded away. Twilight poked her head into Alexander's room. She thought she had felt..something that was there, but at the same time, wasn't. All she saw was Alexander sleeping peacefully for the first time in years, a small smile on his face.

Settling In

Alexander opened his eyes, feeling more refreshed than he had in years. The sun was just peeking out over the horizon, bands of orange creeping through the sky. Alexander was about to delve into his morning routine when he realized that, he didn't have a morning routine anymore. Oh, man, Gunny would be shitting earthshaker rounds if he was here. Alexander sighed. He really hated PT. Still, he needed to keep in shape if he were to protect the innocence that existed here. Did I really just...? There was a brief moment of clarity as Alexander realized he had a purpose again. Somehow, he had come to the conclusion that these ponies were worth...protecting.

It was a heretical thought, protecting xenos, even ones as human as these. It was something the Imperium did not tolerate. Then again, he wasn't really a part of the Imperium anymore, was he? He had to make his own way now...make his own decisions as to what was heresy and what was moral. He couldn't rely on the teachings he had been raised on, the very teachings that had led to his current...situation. It was sobering, to say the least.

Alexander shook his head. He had spent enough time moping to last a lifetime. Now, it was time to exercise. A five mile run seemed right. Dressing, Alexander packed everything he had into his backpack. The furnishings for his bunker-like home were to be delivered today, so he might as well move in. Alexander put on his armor and full kit before leaving the guest room for the last time. Much to his surprise, Alexander found Twilight sitting in the main library.

"What are you doing up?"

Twilight looked up from her book. "Oh, hello Alexander. I always get up this early." She tilted her head, frowning. "Where are you going?"

Alexander shrugged. "I'm moving into my place. The furniture should be delivered today before too long."

Twilight shook her head. "That's great, but I wanted to know why you are leaving this early. The sun's barely up."

"Physical Training."

"Aren't you going to have breakfast?"

Alexander shook his head. "I never eat before a run. That's just asking for trouble." He walked to the door. "Besides, bit early for that, don'cha think?"

Twilight rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, okay, yeah." She perked up. "How about we meet for breakfast? There's a cafe down the street from Sugarcube Corner."

Alexander shrugged. "Sure. See you at eight."

Twilight watched Alexander leave before pulling out a scroll and a quill. "Talk to Alexander? Check! Make breakfast plans? Check! Spike still asleep?" A soft snore from upstairs answered. "Check!"

Alexander was jogging at a fair pace towards what he had been told were the Whitetail Woods during his tour of Ponyville. As he began to run down the clearly marked path through the woods, a tune began to sound unbidden in his head. Rumor had it that the song had been found on a data crystal dating back to the 3rd millenium on Terra. But Alexander didn't care. It was a song that his regiment had adopted to use when marching or running. He smiled as the music played in his head. His head bobbing in time with the beat, he began to sing.

I've got the reach and the teeth of a killin’ machine,
with a need to bleed you when the light goes green,
best believe, I’m in a zone to be,
from my Yin to my Yang to my Yang Tze.
Put a grin on my chin, when ya come to me, ‘cuz I’ll win,
I’m one-of-a-kind and I’ll bring death
to the place you’re about to be:
another river of blood runnin’ under my feet.
Forged in a fire lit long ago, stand next to me,
you’ll never stand alone.
I’m last to leave, but the first to go,
Lord, make me dead before you make me old.
I feed on the fear of the devil inside of the
enemy faces in my sights:
aim with the hand, shoot with the mind,
kill with a heart like arctic ice

I am a Soldier and I’m marching on,
I am a warrior and this is my song

I bask in the glow of the rising war,
lay waste to the ground of an enemy shore,
wade through the blood spilled on the floor, and if
another one stands I’ll kill some more.
Bullet in the breech and a fire in me,
like a cigarette thrown to gasoline, if
death don’t bring you fear I swear
you'll fear these marching feet.
Come to the nightmare, come to me,
deep down in the dark where the devil be,
in the maw with the jaws and the razor teeth,
where the brimstone burns and the angel weeps.
Call to the gods if I cross your path and
my silhouette hangs like a body bag;
hope is a moment now long past,
the shadow of death is the one I cast.

I am a Soldier and I’m marching on,
I am a warrior and this is my song
my eyes are steel and my gaze is long,
I am a warrior and this is my song

Now I live lean and I mean to inflict the grief,
and the least of me's still out of your reach.
The killing machine’s gonna do the deed,
until the river runs dry and my last breath leaves.
Chin in the air with a head held high,
I’ll stand in the path of the enemy line.
Feel no fear, know my pride:
for God and Country I’ll end your life.

I am a Soldier and I’m marching on,
I am a warrior and this is my song
my eyes are steel and my gaze is long,
I am a warrior and this is my song!

Alexander repeated the song twice more before he finished his run. He still had an hour before he was due to meet Twilight at that cafe. Plenty of time to head over to his new home and take a quick shower. He had nearly made it when he thought he heard a squeal.

"HANDS!"

Wait, what? Alexander found himself bowled over by a squeeing aquamarine unicorn. It was bouncing as it sat on his chest. "Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! A human! A real human! I finally found one! And they said I was crazy!" The pony gasped. "I have to tell Bon Bon!" Alexander sat up as the aquamarine unicorn disappeared in a cloud of dust. What in the warp was that all about? Alexander dusted himself off as he stood up. I'm starting to get really tired of ponies running me over. Grumbling, he went inside to shower.

It was almost eight. Alexander was headed for the cafe Twilight had mentioned, but he was having trouble finding it. Was it that way, or...? He saw a sign down the street depicting a steaming cup. That way. He walked to the cafe.

Alexander found Twilight sitting at an outdoor table, speaking to a pair of ponies. One of them, a unicorn stallion, was the same olive green of Alexander's fatigues with a jet-black short cropped mane and tail. His cutie mark was a half-filled hypodermic needle. Interestingly, the stallion appeared to wearing ponified flak armor. The other pony was an enigma though. It may have been an earth pony, but it was wearing a red cloak that completely covered its body, as well as a large, squarish mass situated on its upper back.

Twilight noticed Alexander approaching. "Alexander!" She waved him over. "These two ponies said they were looking for you."

The two mystery ponies turned towards Alexander. The olive unicorn blinked. "Holy crap on a crepe! It's Alexander!"

Alexander frowned. "Do I know you?"

<Interesting. It appears he has not been subjected to the same transforming forces that we were exposed to. This warrants further study.> The cloaked pony spoke with a strange buzzing voice. <Perhaps the warp exposure had a different effect on him than it did on us, Syrette.>

"Pff. There you go again, Iron," retorted the unicorn. "You keep trying to test everything. Lighten up, relax a bit."

"Wait a minute." Alexander scrutinized the pair intensely. "You two do seem familiar."

The green unicorn rolled his violet eyes. "Well, duh. We've only served together, what? Five years?"

<Five years, two months, and twenty-two days before the incident. I would be more precise, but that would be a waste of vocal processes.>

Alexander's eyes opened wide in astonished recognition. "Cyrus? Aaron? Wha...? Why the warp are you two ponies?" He stared at the ponified medic and techpriest in bewilderment.

The unicorn chuckled. "Good to see you too, buddy. And the name's Syrette now. As for Aaron, here," he waved a hoof at the cloaked pony. "He chose Iron Cog. As for why we're ponies," Syrette shrugged. "No idea, although, I am surprised you just got here. We've been here for almost two years now."

<Approximately one year, eleven months-->

"TMI, dude, TMI."

<Proper time keeping is integral to ->

The argument between the two was interrupted by Pinkie Pie popping out from under the table. "Twilight!"

"Gah"

"What th-!"

<Interesting.>

"What is it Pinkie?"

"Twitchy tail, Twilight! Twitchy. Tail." Pinkie's tail was indeed twitching. "And my knee's pinchy! Something really bad is about to happen!" Twilight paled and dived under the table. Iron Cog and Syrette regarded her with curiosity.

"Um, why are you hiding under the table?"

Twilight poked her head out. "Pinkie Pie has something of a sixth sense that warns her about things."

Pinkie Pie popped out of a planter, plant and clump of dirt on her head. "When my tail's a twitchin', it means stuff's about to start falling from the sky. But my tail's never twitched this much before! And achey knee means that something scary is gonna happen!" Pinkie popped back down into the planter.

Cog gave an unimpressed snort. <The correlation between one's tail twitching and objects falling from the sky is highly improbable. To assume such a thing is illogical without hard data to support one's prognosis.>

Twilight shook her head. "Mr. Cog, I used to think the same thing before I tried to figure it out scientifically."

<Irrelevant. I can-> The techpony froze, a pair of orange lights glowing under his hood where his eyes would be. <Warning. There are multiple contacts of unknown origin falling towards location: Ponyville from low orbit. It appears subject Pie's prediction has come to be.>

Alexander's face tightened. "How much time do we have?"

A ball of fire impacted down the street on a pillar of smoke, cratering the road. Screams of panicked ponies filled the air as dozens of fireballs fell towards Ponyville. The plummeting debris smashed into the ground and buildings around Ponyville, thick, dark smoke shrouding the crash sites. Shapes could be seen moving through the haze.

<None.>

Nothing can stop it...

As soon as the first object impacted with the street, the three former imperials sprung into action. Alexander drew his laspistol, setting the output to maximum. Syrette's horn glowed violet, a well-maintained autopistol floating out of its holster in its own purple aura. Iron Cog held an axe with a gear-shaped blade in his teeth as the cloak on his back bulged and tore, the servo-arm on his back unfolding into attack position. Twilight paled even further as the servo-arm's massive claw flexed and snatched at the air, a small tongue of flame spitting from a nozzle on one clamp.

An amorphous black tendril shot from the hazy smoke, eliciting a shriek from Twilight. Alexander twisted to the side, slashing the tendril in two. There was an unearthly scream, half of the tendril retracting into the smog, the other half splattering on the cobbled street. A jet of flame spewed from the claw on Cog's back, throwing up a multichromatic wall of fire between the impact site and the cafe. An angry screech emitted from a black mass on the other side of the firewall, a pair of glowing yellow eyes glaring at the beings that dare defy it. It blared a freight train of a bellow, disappearing into the haze.

"Cog, what kind of fuel are you using?" Alexander stared at the rainbow flames.

<A specially distilled form of liquid rainbow that turned out to be highly flammable, even more so than promethium.>

"What the hell was...that!?" Syrette had finally found his voice. Alexander turned to Twilight. "I'd like to know that as well."

Twilight swallowed. "I-I don't know. I've never seen anything like it in any of my books."

<Interesting.> Iron was examining the severed tendril lying on the ground. <Even separated from the main body, the individual portions continue to be motive.> A mechadendrite snaked out from under the red cloak clutching a test tube. The mechanical tentacle scooped up the quivering black mass, storing the tube somewhere under the cloak.

Screams of terror could be heard all over Ponyville, intermingling with the bellows of the attackers. Alexander reached into the nearby planter, pulling Pinkie Pie out by her mane. "I need you to get everybody off the streets to safety."

Pinkie saluted. "Okie dokie lokie!" She popped back into the planter. Alexander plunged his hand into the dirt after her, but the pink pony was gone. "Seriously, how does she do that?" Alexander turned to Syrette and Cog. "You two, damage control. We need to keep casualties down and civilians safe. I don't care how you do it, just kill these things. You still have your comlinks?" The two nodded. "Good. Use the old squad frequency. Go!" Syrette saluted, dashing off through the smoky air. Cog strode away in the opposite direction, servo-arm flexing menacingly. Alexander turned to Twilight. "Twilight, we need to-." Twilight was running down the street. "TWILIGHT!" Alexander charged after her.

Alexander chased Twilight down the street as the purple unicorn ran, heedless of the dangers. The haze was growing thicker, the smoke turning day into dusk. Twilight screamed as a dark tentacle lashed out of the shadows, lifting her bodily in the air. Alexander screeched to a halt as an amorphous blob slithered into view. Shadows seeped from it's gooey body, a cold darkness radiating from its dark, colorless mass. Twilight screamed as the tentacle squeezed her middle, passing out from the pain. Alexander shot the beast, the cracking beams of coherent light vaporizing melon sized holes in the oozing body. The thing turned towards the guardsman, yellow eyes burning. A depression yawned open on its 'face,' a bass roar shaking the air and ground. It threw Twilight at the offending human, knocking him down. The behemoth advanced upon the downed human.

Syrette was having a decidedly bad day. He had six pony-sized and one house-sized goo monsters chasing him, and his auto pistol was almost useless. The hollow-point slugs tore huge rends in the bodies, but the wounds merely oozed shut. It was as if there were no vitals for the bullets to hit. The cavitation caused by the bullets however were more than enough to sever the gooey tentacles that snatched at him. Unfortunately, every time he blew a tentacle apart, the bits and pieces flowed together to form a new monster, which is why the medic was having such a warp-sucking shitfraking bad day.

"Where the warp is that Cadian with a hidden tank when you need him? Shit!" Syrette found himself sailing through the air as a tentacle smashed into the ground behind him, sending broken cobblestones flying as the rest of the larger slime monster slithered down the tentacle towards him. Syrette pulled out a frag grenade, his last one. He threw it into the thing's 'mouth' and dived behind a brick wall. The beast swelled, splattering across the street along with its smaller brethren. Syrette sighed, slumping with his back to the wall.

Syrette groaned as the globs all opened yellow eyes. "Oh come on!" Syrette ran again, this time chased by a wave of chortling shadowy gunk and yellow orbs.

Another jello monster was bathed in a torrent of rainbow flame. A subsonic scream, more felt than heard, rattled windows as the chromatic fire boiled it down to ash and a dark, greasy smear on the cobbles. Iron Cog stepped over the blackened stain, servo-arm poised to burn down any threat. His head swiveling from side-to-side, the techpony scanned the deepening smog, artificial senses cutting through the haze. A filly's scream drew his attention.

"Stay back, you big meanie!" Ditzy Doo held her daughter Dinky under her wing, a sharp kitchen knife held in her teeth as the grey unicorn filly yelled at the slime monster that had them cornered in the alley. Ditzy was glaring at the beast menacingly, but the effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that one of her eyes couldn't make up its mind where to look. An arm bulged from the dripping mass, shadows reaching for the two mares. Ditzy braced herself for the end, a deep chuckle shaking from the yellow eyed monstrosity.

A tongue of fire blazed into the side of the shadowy goo. The dark arm retracted, the viscous colossus thundering in pain. Another vibrant conflagration cut into the sludge, driving it away into the shadows. Ditzy's knife clattered to the street as she stared slack-jawed at the pony that strode from the smog, wondering at the massive claw that snapped and writhed with a life of its own. Dinky scuttled out from under her mother's wing, dashing over to the mysterious pony. "Thank you mister!"

The red-cloaked pony gazed down at Dinky with glowing orange eyes. <Your thanks are not neccessary, but they are appreciated.> The glowing eyes seemed to twinkle. <You are welcome.> Ditzy clopped over to Dinky, holding her close. She could hear buzzing and whirring coming from under his hooded cloak as he stood silent and still, a series of clicks sounding from his head. He turned to the grey pegasus. <Town hall is currently serving as a fallout shelter. A small contingent of royal guards have arrived and are currently holding off the creatures. You will be safe there.>

Ditzy nodded. "Thank you. Come on, Dinky. Let's go."

The small unicorn filly waved. "Bye mister!"

Iron Cog watched the pair disappear into the mist. More screaming drew his attention. Claw snapping shut with a pneumatic hiss, the techpony trotted into the dark miasma. Unnoticed, a dark greasy stain on the cobbles began to writhe and bubble. A baleful yellow eye snapped open with a growl.

Alexander ran for town hall with Twilight in his arms, Spike close on his heels. A colossal slime monster was hot on their trail, flowing from spot to spot like some aquatic mammal jumping through the waves. Alexander glanced at the baby dragon running beside him.

"Are you sure the message got through?"

"Yes...gasp...I'm sure. I sent it straight...gasp...to Princess...gasp...Celestia."

A grasping coil snagged Alexander's ankle, dropping him to the ground as Twilight flew from his arms. "I got her!" Spike caught Twilight, collapsing under her weight. "Alexander!"

"For the love of the Emperor, go! Run!" The tentacle snaked around the guardsman's torso pinning his arms to his sides.

"B-but-"

"GO!"

Spike staggered towards town hall under Twilight's weight, the building designated as a safe house by Alexander and his allies over the comms. The shadowy tendril dragged Alexander closer to its owner. The yellow eyes glowed in victory as it drug the struggling human closer, the tentacle contracting into its body. As the monstrosity began sucking Alexander into its body, he managed to free an arm. Blinded by the dark grime smeared on his visor, he blindly pulled a grenade from his webbing. He primed the grenade, awkwardly pulling the pin out with his thumb. "FOR THE EMPER-" Alexander disappeared into the shadowy body of the sludge. The beastly abomination boomed with victorious laughter as it moved after the baby dragon struggling under his load.

Spike collapsed with a sob, unable to go any further as the oozing behemoth towered over him. He hugged Twilight's unconscious body tightly as tears flowed down his face. Spike shut his eyes tightly as the creature loomed over him. A bright flash brought colorful spots to Spike's vision, even with his eyes closed. He opened his eyes to behold the shadowy blob thrashing in pain, its body dissolving as it screeched in agony. It burned up into nothing, its final cry hanging in the air.

Alexander came to his feet, pulling off his respirator as he coughed up black,oozy phlegm. He put his respirator back on, striding to the collapse dragon and pony. "I thought I told you to run." Too exhausted to answer, Spike allowed himself to be picked up in one arm, Alexander hoisting the still unconscious unicorn over his other shoulder. He ran through the haze, not stopping until he reached the relative safety of town hall.

The siege of Ponyville lasted into the late afternoon. Alexander, Syrette, and Iron Cog had met up with the royal guard contingent and were hunkered down around town hall, a massive shield bubble spell keeping the grungy creatures out. Town hall was filled with ponies, Syrette and the doctors and nurses from Ponyville General doing what they could for the wounded. Alexander approached Iron Cog, the techpony examining the sample of slime he had procured that morning.

<Ah, Alexander, excellent timing. Query: How are the wounded?>

"According to Nurse Redheart and Syrette, aside from a few bruises and broken bones, they're all fine, physically. However, they said that every pony that came into direct contact with the stuff was drained of at least some if not most of their magic."

<Interesting.>

"What do you got?"

<Initial testing shows that the sample reacts negatively to bright lights and heat.>

Alexander nodded. "Yeah, makes sense. I set off a flash-bang inside of one of the things, made it melt into nothing. Not even a stain was left."

Iron tilted his head. <Not even a smear left on your armor. It appears that these beings thrive on darkness, the light acting as a toxin to them.>

Alexander frowned. "If that's the case, why'd they attack during early morning? And why didn't they burn up when they fell from orbit?"

<Not an issue for them. I would presume that the creatures may have occupied a capsule with ablative properties that protected them from the aerodynamic heating effect, although, I would have to examine one of the landing sites before I submit such a hypothesis. As for the sun, the collection of airborne solid and liquid particulates and gases caused by the impact of their landings in addition to the umbra they seem to produce are causing the levels of illumination to be more akin to those found at dusk. The electromagntic energy from the sun should be enough to fully vanquish these creatures. Once night falls however, victory is highly unlikely.>

"Can I get that in gothic?"

<They were protected from the heat of reentry by something. The creatures produce shadow, and the smoke is preventing direct light from harming them. The sun's light should be enough to completely destroy these creatures. If we cannot remove the smoke cover before nightfall, we may be unable to stop them>

"There, was that so hard?" Despite his snark, Alexander was worried. "Okay, so how do we clear the smoke?"

<Although I do not yet fully understand it, the phenomenon locally known as the 'Sonic Rainboom' may prove to be the solution.>

Rainbow Dash hovered high above the smoke and shadow covering Ponyville. High above the obscuring haze, cyan pegasus could see a large cordon of royal guards surrounding the town, unable to make any headway against the monsters into the smog. She still couldn't believe that Alexander wanted her to dive into the smog. If she dove blindly into that stuff, she took the risk of hitting a building. She wasn't scared of anything, but she wasn't stupid. She had refused to dive into the smoke until Alexander had told her he'd send up a flare to mark her target.

The flare shot up into the open. Flipping her goggles over her eyes, Rainbow briefly folded her wings and dove for the ground. Pumping her wings for all she was worth, she felt the air begin to push against her as the mach cone formed around her. With one last push, the cyan mare broke the barrier. A shockwave of color blew the smoke away, a rainbow arcing away into the sky. The royal guard moved into the ruined town as the afternoon sun burned the creatures of shadow and ooze to cinders. Rainbow Dash cheered, her rainbow trail marking the end of the siege on Ponyville.

Author's Note

Seriously, if no one can correctly name the attackers, I will cry. By the way, 5 points to anypony who guessed something not from Warhammer 40k. And yes, I know what they're called, but Alexander doesn't know that. Yet.

New Assignments

The reconstruction of Ponyville was proceeding quicker than had been expected. When Ponyville had been eaten by Parasprites last year, it had taken weeks for the damages to be fully repaired. This time around, the repairs were under the supervision of Iron Cog. Thanks to the mechanicus engineering know-how of the techpony, the repairs would be completed in a matter of days. In addition, Alexander and Syrette had spent several hours each day looting the armories aboard the derelict frigate hidden in the Everfree. Upon laying optics upon the wreck, Cog had...well, Alexander had never seen any member of the cult mechanicus emote so much as minor glee, but Cog...wow. There was no way to describe the paroxysms of pure and utter joy the techpony had expressed. He had immediately begun to design defenses for the town of Ponyville.

Alexander was taking a well deserved break from building structures and defenses. He was lying on the ground at a makeshift firing range behind his home, staring down the sights of his longlas. His armor lay in a heap by the wall, his shirt bunched up on top, leaving Alexander in his sleeveless undershirt. He squeezed off a shot downrange, cursing silently as the coherent light barely scorched the side of the can sitting on the post. He twisted a small knob on the sniper scope. As Alexander grumbled a small voice asked "Are you Alexander?"

Alexander dropped the dead clip, fishing a fresh one from his webbing. "Mmhm." He slotted the new clip into the weapon. He racked the slide, charging the longlas. "Who's askin'." He turned to find three fillies wearing burgundy capes.

The orange pegasus piped up. "I'm Scootaloo."

"I'm Sweetie Bell," bounced the white unicorn.

"An' Ahm Applebloom," declared the yellow pony.

"And we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

Alexander fired another blazing spear down-range. Miss. calibrate. "Alright, so what did you want?"

The yellow pony, Applebloom, spoke up. "We wanted ta thank you fer savin' us from the Manticore."

"We also wanted to ask you how you got your cutie mark," added Sweetie Bell.

Scootaloo nodded. "And why's it on yer shoulder?"

"An what's it mean?"

"My cu-?" Alexander burst out laughing, clutching his sides as he howled with mirth. The CMC frowned at each other. Scootaloo poked Alexander in the leg. "What's so funny?" Alexander wiped a tear from his eye. "This," he gestured at the double headed eagle clutching two lightning bolts on his shoulder. "Is a tattoo."

"Whats a Tat-too?"

Alexander held in his chuckles. "It's a, um...artificial cutie mark." *Snrk!* The three fillies frowned. "Humans don't get cutie marks, so sometimes people get tattoos that mean something important to them."

Applebloom wrinkled her muzzle. "Well, what's yers mean?"

Alexander stared off, his expression distant. "It serves to remind me of those who have been lost." Scootaloo snorted. "What does that even mean?" Alexander smiled sadly. "You'll understand someday." He ruffled the tomboyish pegasus' short mane. Sweetie Bell opened her mouth to speak. "No, you can't get one."

"Awww."

"Now, go on. Go play somewhere." A sly smile crossed Alexander's face. "Why don't you go ask Iron Cog if he'll teach you how to make things." Alexander watched with a grin as the three scampered off with a cry of "Cutie Mark Crusaders techponies, away!" Such exuberance. Such innocence. He hoped it would never end for them, but knew deep inside that there was no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt. He sighed. He glared at the longlas in his hands, and took a shot down-range. Another miss reminded him of why exactly he had never been assigned a sniper rifle. Sure, he was a good shot with a regular lasgun, but the ability to properly calibrate the complex telescopic sights on a longlas had always eluded him. Once the sights were off, he never could hit anything.

With a sigh, Alexander stood up and dusted himself off. He drifted over to the pile of armor, clearing the longlas of its charge as he went. Leaning the gun against his home, Alexander began to put on his shirt and armor. "Alexander the human?"

Alexander pulled his chest piece down over his head to find a beefy white pegasus in golden armor. "Yeah?"

"Their royal Highnesses Princess Celestia and Princess Luna would have a word with you."

Alexander entered the throne room of the royal palace, snapping a crisp salute to the alicorns sitting on their thrones. He shifted to parade rest, his feet shoulder width apart and hands clasped at the small of his back. "Princess Celestia, Princess Luna." Alexander nodded to each. "I understand you wished to speak with me."

Princess Celestia nodded. "Yes Alexander. We wish to know what happened on the tenth."

"YES. WE WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO HEAR WHAT THOU HAST TO SAY!"

"Luna, we've talked about this."

"Sorry Tia, we forgot."

Alexander nodded. "Certainly."

"At 08:00 hours, I met with Twilight Sparkle at a cafe close to Sugarcube Corner. You've heard of how I arrived here, yes? Well, somehow two of my comrades survived and arrived in Equestria as ponies. Yeah, I don't know what that's all about either. Anyways, my comrades had heard of a human soldier in Equestria, and went looking for him. They found Ms. Sparkle, who led them to me. We were all having breakfast when the meteors fell from the sky. The impacts from their landings threw up a thick smoke that blocked out your sun. That was when we saw the first one emerge.

"I have never seen anything like it before, and I've seen some crazy shit in my time. It was shaped like, well, actually it didn't really have a shape. It was, oh what's that word? Amorphous, that's it. They were very resistant to attacks, and any magic I saw thrown at them was only absorbed. I'm surprised your guard's shield spells held at all. The creatures seemed to create shadow from their bodies, a fact later confirmed by Iron Cog, one of my compatriots. They are very sensitive to light, enough so that just bright light will hurt them. We discovered this when I was eaten by one, and set off a flashbang (a device that creates a bright light and loud sounds to disorient) inside it. It was completely destroyed.

"We managed to collect many of the citizens in the town hall, and what royal guards that had been able to make it into town held the things back. We only managed to defeat them when Rainbow Dash blew away the smokescreen with a sonic rainboom, allowing the sun to vaporize the creatures.

"Damage to Ponyville was oddly centralized. It was as if the creatures were trying to hunt the ponies down, leading them to go after the numbers taking refuge in the town hall. It spared many of the outlying buildings and farms. Ms. Fluttershy's cottage and the school house were completely ignored by the beasts until the guard arrived, so many small animals and foals were in little danger during the ordeal. However, the creatures seemed to be obsessed with invading Sweet Apple Acres. The Apple family only managed to keep the things at bay until the rainboom by setting the fences and outlying trees on fire. I am told that they had to burn something like five percent of their orchards to feed the flames.

"As for casualties, there were no fatalities during or after the siege. The worst physical injury that occurred were a few broken ribs and a broken leg. However, a few dozen ponies were drained of their magic by the creatures, and several were drained to the point of near death and had to be hospitalized for magical transfusions. It's lucky that no one was killed.

"I just wish I knew what it was I had been fighting."

As Alexander finished up his report, he saw a look flash between the two alicorns. Scowling, Alexander glared at the two princesses. "Alright, you know something. Spill it."

A unicorn guard stepped up to Alexander, horn lit up threateningly. "You will show respect when you speak to the princesses!"

"It is alright, Falchion." Falchion grumbled, but returned to his position by the twin thrones. Princess Celestia nodded to Alexander. "It is true. We do indeed know something." Alexander raised an eyebrow. "Collectively, they are known as...The Smooze."

"The Smooze...seriously?"

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Yes. Thousands of years ago, before even my sister's and my time, the Smooze was unleashed upon Equiis by a dark force. The Smooze was relentless. Nothing could stop it, and it covered Equestria in darkness. Not even the Rainbow Lights, the predecessor to the Elements of Harmony, could stop it. It wasn't until the sea ponies and flutter ponies lent their aid that the Smooze was destroyed."

Alexander snorted. "Sea ponies? Flutter ponies? Really?" He started to snicker, then frowned as a thought occured to him. "I've seen earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, and even a dragon, but I have yet to see either a sea pony or a flutter pony. Why?"

Celestia sighed sadly, her mane drooping and seeming to lose color. Luna answered for her sister. "After the defeat of the Smooze, the dark forces that created the abominations declared war on all of Equus. The sea ponies and the flutter ponies were the first to fall."

The two guards on either side of the thrones scrunched up their faces as they tried to figure out what Luna meant. But for Alexander, who had watched the death of planets, the meaning was all too clear. "Exterminatus. No survivors." The two guards swallowed as Luna and Celestia nodded.

Celestia raised her head. "While initially the dark forces were victorious, the combined might of Equus' peoples eventually drove the dark forces to the edge of defeat. It was in casting down the darkness that my sister and I achieved our ascension to godhood. However, as the leader of the darkness was cast down to Tartarus, he unleashed a spell that destroyed the natural balance of the planet. Taking responsibility for our failure to prevent the destruction of the natural energy of Equus, we began our duties of raising the moon and the sun."

Alexander glanced askew at the two alicorns. "So, why did you call me here? You obviously already knew what had happened, didn't need me to tell you."

Celestia closed her eyes. "For the past several months, there have been many strange disappearances around Equestria. Most of those who have vanished were foals." Alexander frowned, recalling similar circumstances on a world whose skies had rained blood. "Two days ago, we sent a detachment of royal guards to investigate a suspicious facility high in the Foal Mountains. We have not heard from them since."

Alexander began to pace, pinching the bridge of his nose as he thought. "So you want me to find them? Or complete their mission? What makes you think I can succeed where an entire detachment of your guards failed? I'm no space marine." He faced the princesses, arms crossed over his chest.

Luna held herself up. "THOU-ahem-thou hast destroyed Smooze singlehoofedly. Such a feat hast never been done before. Thou art more powerful than thou dost realize."

Celestia nodded. "You also have more experience in battle than most, if not all of the royal guard combined. Our last war was hundreds of years ago, and aside from a few minor border disputes, Equestria has been at peace for longer than most can imagine." Celestia regarded Alexander carefully. "There is a position in the Royal Guard, one that has not been used for some time. The one who holds this position is known as a Sentinel. A Sentinel holds unparalleled powers in Equestria. They can command any royal guard, and can requisition any thing they require. As such, there have been only a few Sentinels in Equestrian history, as the position and power that comes with it is easily abused." Celestia spread her wings dramatically. "ALEXANDER THE HUMAN, WILL YOU ACCEPT THE HONOR OF BECOMING A SENTINEL?"

Alexander stepped back. "Me?" Even the stoic, emotionless guards seemed surprised. "Why me?"

Celestia folded her wings. "We have seen into your soul, Alexander. You have a good heart, one that is troubled by the events of your past. Luna and I know you would not abuse the privileges of being a Sentinel." Luna nodded in agreement.

Alexander bit a lip. It was tempting. "What would my duties as a Sentinel be?"

Luna cleared her throat. "Thou wouldst go on missions given to thou from myself and Celestia, and defend Equestria and its ponies from dangers from within and without."

Alexander stared at his hands, thoughts flashing through his mind, weighing his options. A thought rose to the surface. Innocence needs protection. He would not let the skies bleed again, not if he could help it. The horrors of those three warp-tainted days haunted him still. He looked up. "In the name of the Emperor, and all I hold dear, I accept." Alexander drew his sword, holding it vertically before him. Why he did so, he did not know, but it felt...right. "I pledge my sword to protect the innocence and life of Equestria."

The Aquila's on Alexander's breast plate and helmet flashed. Where once had been a silver two-headed eagle was now an emblem of two alicorns back to back with wings unfurled, one as black as the starry night sky, the other as white as the purest sunlight.

Celestia and Luna looked to each other, Celestia shrugging while Luna shook her head. They looked at Alexander. Luna was the first to speak, and it was decidedly out of character for her. "Well, that's a new one." Alexander held his helmet in his hands, staring at his reflection in the new Aquila. That flash, he had never experienced it before, but it was somehow familiar. Like the hand of an approving father on His son's shoulder. Alexander realized he had felt that presence before, standing before an alter dedicated to the Emperor. Smiling, he put on his helmet, sealing it with the respirator. "Let get started then, shall we?"

An Icy Grave

Alexander came to, opening his eye to white nothingness. Caked and frozen blood sealed his left eye shut, icy cold seeping through the cracked visor. Alexander hauled himself upright stiffly, snow falling off of him in sheets. Groaning, he staggered to his feet, gathering his camo-cloak tightly around him. The wound in his right side had stopped bleeding, more from freezing over than scabbing. Grimacing, Alexander began trudging down the mountain away from the burning ruins behind him, arms wrapped tightly around a small bundle. The howling night winds and driving snows soon covered up any sign he had been there.

TEN HOURS EARLIER...

Alexander wallowed through the waist high snow, practically swimming through the larger snowdrifts as he ascended Foal Mountain at a glacial pace. He was wearing thick insulated winter survival clothes, a gift from Rarity when she had heard where he was going. A camo-cloak streamed behind him, snapping in the icy gale. Heavy snow this low on the mountain was highly unusual, considering it was early autumn. Even stranger was that the clouds seemed to resist the best efforts of pegasus weather teams to clear them away. Combine that with the fact that the disappearances of several foals had been occurring in the surrounding areas and Alexander could definitely see why the mountain was worth investigating. A detachment of royal guards vanishing as well was enough for the princesses to send in their new Sentinel.

Alexander shielded his face from the howling wind as he crested a short ridge, squinting into the unnatural darkness caused by the massive blizzard pounding the slopes. He grimaced as he took in the grisly scene before him. The valley below was a charnel house. Broken spears rose forlornly from the stained snow, shredded tents flapping weakly in the wind. The snow was shallower here, the valley protected from the raging storm by the mountain, the winds merely an unpleasant breeze as apposed to a thundering gale.

Alexander carefully made his way to the mass grave. He pulled a shattered lance from the snow, a cold, stiff body rising with it momentarily until the weapon's haft slid free of the frozen hoof. Alexander examined the spear head. The steel barb was corroded and pitted, as if it had been dipped in acid. The Sentinel tossed aside the spear, crouching to examine the exhumed corpse. He lifted the exposed leg, only to find that the leg was merely attached to a chunk of meat trailing a length of spinal cord. A quick search revealed that the limb was in fact the largest intact portion of the body. The rest was just so much blood and bits of bone. The body had not been dismembered so much as it had been obliderated.

Alexander moved on to the next body. This one was more or less intact, frozen in a block of ice, horror forever written on his face. Another body, everything between the shoulder blades dust, a cavity in the ice showing that the corpse had once been a unicorn. The next corpse was just as disturbing. It had been completely desiccated, every ounce of liquid frozen or drained away. Alexander turned away from it with a shiver unrelated to the biting cold.

Alexander prodded another frozen corpse, this one intact save for a massive hole where the face should have been, deep in thought as he tried to discern what could have done this. It was not the work of anything Alexander had seen before. What cuts were there were too clean for orks, but the corpses were too messy to be the work of ponies, humans or even astartes. It wasn't tyranids, or even anything that consumed biomass, for bodies had been left where they fell. And though smooze could have produced some of the acidic effects he had witnessed, Iron Cog's experiments on the remaining glob of smooze had shown that the slimy things froze solid at zero degrees celsius. No way any of them had done this, not in this weather.

An orange glow drew Alexander's attention, flickering in the depths of a nearby rock formation. Awkwardly drawing his laspistol in his mittened hand, the Sentinel crept through the snow towards the rocks. A terrified voice shouted out a challenge as he drew near. "H-halt! W-w-who's there?" Alexander looked up to see a unicorn pointing a spear at him, battered armor glinting in the light of the torch held in his magic. "Don't come any closer!"

Holstering his laspistol, Alexander held up his hands, palms out. "Easy, soldier. I'm not here to hurt you."

"What's going on out there?" A charcoal grey pegasus with a black mane came out of the rocks behind the nervous unicorn. Seeing Alexander in his olive armor, hands held palm out, he turned to the unicorn. "Care to explain what a hornless minotaur is doing out here, Sure Shot?"

Sure Shot swallowed. "I don't know Sarge. He-he said he wasn't here to hurt us."

"Did he now?" The pegasus sergeant studied Alexander cooley. His head snapped up at a distant, unearthly howling. "Ponyfeathers, they're back! Hey you!" The grey pegasus gestured quickly to Alexander. "Get in here if you want to live."

Alexander struggled through the deepening snow as the eerie howling crescendoed. He dived into a cleft in the rocks, turning in time to catch a glimpse of an icy blue apparition. Alexander backed away from the opening as ice began to creep across the ground and rock. The unicorn known as Sure Shot cautiously approached Alexander. "F-follow me."

Sure Shot led Alexander into a hollow in the center of the rock formation, several ponies sitting wearily by a roaring fire. The black maned pegasus from before dismissed the sentry before turning to the Sentinel. Looking Alexander up and down, he snorted. "Well, you ain't no minotaur, so what are you?"

"I'm a human. Not that far off from a minotaur, I suppose, as where I come from minotaurs are supposedly part bull, part human."

Steel Rain eyed Alexander quizzically. "I'd tell you that humans are just a myth, but you don't look like no myth." He tilted his head as he examined Alexander's armor. "So, what in Celestia's name possessed you to come here? For that matter, how'd you get through the quarantine set up around the mountain?"

Alexander crossed his arms. "As the new Sentinel, it's my job to do what the guard can't."

One of the ponies by the fire, a dark blue unicorn mare with a fiery mane nickered in amusement. "Yeah, and I'm Princess Luna, nice ta meetcha!" A sharp glare from Steel Rain made her blush with embarrassment as she turned back to the fire.

Steel rain turned back to Alexander. "Not that I don't agree with Flame Dancer, but I find it hard to believe that the first Sentinel in over five hundred years is not a pony. What makes you think you've got what it takes to be a Sentinel?"

A bone-chilling moan reverberated through the rocky hollow, causing the human and ponies present to cry out in pain, the fire guttering before dying under the assault from the subsonic pulse. Clutching his ears, Alexander straightened up, fishing his laspistol from its holster. The ringing in his ears subsided just in time to catch the terrified scream of one of the ponies by the dead fire. "They're coming!"

Alexander looked up the open-topped hollow to behold several ethereal blue equines spiraling down the rocky shaft, ice trailing down the walls in their wake. "Daemons!" Alexander ran to take cover in one of the tunnels leading out, only to find the exit blocked by a rapidly forming wall of ice. He spun around, quickly assessing the situation with practised ease as ice began encasing the royal guards trying to fend off the otherworldly beings. Alexander dropped to one knee, aiming the laspistol with both hands as the spectral daemons began wheeling around the top of the now frozen cave. Biting cold caused Alexander to gasp in pain. He looked down to find ice crawling up his legs. Alexander snarled at the icy apparitions. "Oh, no you don't!" He snapped off a shot from his laspistol as one of the spectral figures became solid. With a soul rending screech, the daemon dissipated into a blackish-blue fog that quickly vanished. Another daemon met its end when it tried to attack Alexander directly. Wailing in anger and surprise, the remaining daemons fled into the blizzard raging overhead.

Flame Dancer unleashed a quick burst of heat, quickly melting the ice that had partially entombed those present. Steel Rain approached Alexander. "Alright, Sentinel, you got me convinced. Wadda ya need?"

Alexander raised a brow. "Oh, so now you believe me."

Rain shrugged. "Considering you just took on Wendigos and sent 'em packing, yes."

"Wendigos?"

"Winter spirits that feed on negative energies and emotions."

"I just call 'em Daemons." Alexander frowned. "What negative emotions would they have to..." Alexander trailed off as he looked at the survivors of the massacred guard detachment. Most of the ponies had huddled around the rekindled fire, the signs of depression and loss visible on their faces. A light blue pegasus with a black mane was curled up in a corner, quietly rocking back and forth as he sucked on his hoof. Of the dozen survivors, only the fiery unicorn Flame Dancer, the nervous Sure Shot, and the hard-as-nails sergeant were the only one's not ready to fly apart at a moment's notice. "Oh."

Steel Rain gave a humorless chuckle. "So you see, plenty of negative emotions to go around." The grey pegasus sighed. "This isn't easy for me to say, but...thank you."

"What for?"

"If you hadn't come when you did...shit. I'm getting too old for this crap." The aging pegasus walked away, wings drooping. Alexander made to follow him, but recognized the signs that he needed to come to grips with what had happened. Instead, he climbed up the rocks to join Sure Shot, sitting next to the jumpy sentry. They sat there for a few minutes before Alexander cleared his throat to end the awkward silence. "So, why they call you Sure Shot?"

The green unicorn scratched at his cropped yellow mane. "It's, well, I never miss what I'm aiming at. Doesn't matter what I use, I-I never miss."

"Really?" Shot nodded nervously. Alexander eyed him for a moment, noting the red crosshairs of his cutie mark. Well, that would certainly suit him. I wonder... He pulled his longlas from its sling on his back. For a moment, Alexander considered the technical heresy of providing weapons to xenos he was about to commit, before he recalled that two of his comrades were now technically xenos. Still don't know why I brought this. "Here." He passed it to the green unicorn, Sure Shot gingerly taking the weapon from the human.

"W-what is it?"

"That is a Kestrel pattern MKII Long-barreled Lasrifle, or Longlas for short." Alexander explained to the baffled guardspony about the workings and properties of a Lasgun, the unicorn's already large eyes getting bigger and bigger with each passing sentence. When Alexander finished, Sure Shot's eyes were glazed over before he shook his head clear.

"Can-can I try it?"

"Sure, why not? Just a moment." Alexander leaned over the edge of the overhang. "Taking target practice, stay cool." He nodded to Shot, then pointed at a small rock across the pseudo-cave. "There. Hit that."

A blaze of red jumped across the chasm, shattering the rock. Alexander whistled. "Not bad, not bad." He took the longlas from the gapejawed unicorn. Slinging his rifle over his shoulder, Alexander looked over his shoulder into the white nothing of the raging blizzard. "So, what happened out there?"

Sure Shot shuddered. "I-it was horrible. We were making o-our way up the mountain. We had just made camp wh-when some...thing began attacking us. It-it killed a bunch of us, then just...left." He swallowed. "That's when th-the Wendigos came. We tried fighting them off, but they just froze a bunch of us and..." Shot's voice hitched for a moment. "Twenty of us managed to get to the rocks. We tried to make a break for it once i-it was morning, but th-they were waiting for us. We didn't stand a chance."

Alexander hesitantly patted the despondent unicorn on the shoulder. Getting to his feet, he scrabbled down from the overlook. Pausing, Alexander looked up at the green pony. You know what, screw the Imperium and their rules. They tried to kill me anyways. "Hey Sure Shot!" Alexander pulled the longlas from his back. "Catch!" A red aura caught the sniper rifle. "Take care of this fer me. I want it back when this is done." Alexander turned from the awed Sure Shot, walking towards the fire. 'Sides, it's just a loaner. I'll have to talk to Cog and Syrette about this later. For now, though... Alexander approached sergeant Rain. I need intel.

Cold Comfort

Alexander looked up as the moaning wails of Wendigos assaulted his senses, stopping him dead in his tracks. Tucking his cargo under one arm, he fished out several magnesium flares. Flicking the lighters off the flares, he tossed the lit sticks into a rough circle around him, the snow melting and hissing as it tried in vain to put out the brilliantly white flames. Those flares would hold back the Wendigos a little bit, weaken them slightly, but not enough to stop them from attacking. As he readied his laspistol, Alexander looked at the tiny bundle in his arms. Preparing himself for the otherworldly onslaught to come, Alexander thought back on why he was buying time...

EIGHT HOURS EARLIER...

Alexander was going over the plan with Steel Rain one last time before he set off up the mountain. "Now, make sure that Sure Shot is in the center of the formation. He has the only las weapon in your group, so keep him safe. Once you see the flare, get up there as quickly as you can. Right?" The pegasus sergeant nodded, giving the Sentinel a sharp salute that would have made a commissar jealous. Alexander returned the salute. "Good, I'll see you shortly. The Emperor protects."

Steel dropped his salute, responding with his own species' mantra. "The Princesses defend. Remember, the Wendigos don't like fire, but it won't stop them completely." Alexander nodded before setting off into the worsening storm, leaving the surviving guardsponies to prepare for their own trek up the mountain. Soon the rocky outcropping could no longer be seen, the whiteout conditions of the storm hiding everything.

After what seemed to be eons of wallowing through deepening snow, Alexander crested a rocky ridge above a snow filled caldera. Dropping to the ground, the Sentinel pulled out a set of magnoculars, his camo-cloak shifting to blend with the snow, making him almost invisible to the naked eye. Focusing the magnoculars on the small crater of the long-dead volcano, Alexander set the magnoculars to thermal imaging. Through the lenses and filters of the device could be seen a large yellow trace in the center of the valley. Bright orange spots that were ponies' heads stuck out on the frozen black of the snow and sky like an ogryn at an eldar family reunion, their body heat leaking out from under thick winter cloaks. Zooming in Alexander noted with interest and some trepidation that only about half of the twenty or so contacts seemed to be ponies. Of the rest, roughly three quarters of them seemed to be bipedal, but they weren't human. More xenos, great. Grunting, Alexander put away the magnoculars and began to stealthily make his way down the crater side.

Alexander snuck to the side of the structure, only having to dispatch two sentries, the driving snow covering up the blood and bodies. He ran a mittened hand across the rough surface of the wall. It seemed to be made of stone fused with wood...somehow. Emperor-damned magic's gonna break my brain. Alexander looked up at the tall building, estimating that it had to be at least as high as one of those damned Tau Riptide suits. Good thing it was on their side at the time. Alexander shook his head clear of reminiscing about fighting chaotic forces to focus on the job at hand. Slowly, Alexander began to inspect the wall for a good place to make a door. It had to be out of the way, but-Perfect. Alexander pulled aside a sheet of corrugated metal (The frak are ponies doing with corrugated metal?) and pulled out his power sword. Activating it, the human made a door, the graviton field around the sword blade cutting through the strange stone-wood walls like a hot knife through butter. Much to his shock, instead of sliding out inwards or outwards, the plug of stone-wood merely disintegrated. Magic... Turning off the power field but keeping the sword at the ready, Alexander stepped into the hole, pulling the sheet of metal across the opening behind him.

Alexander cursed as the warm air inside caused his icey visor to fog up, flipping the visor up so that he could see. Turning on his head lamp, Alexander took in the room he was in. Quickly turning off his light, the Sentinel moved to the bars of the prison cell he had entered. Slicing the lock open, he looked up and down the hall he found himself in. The floor was covered in dust, proving that the prison cells had not been in use for some time, if ever. Alexander sheathed his sword. Drawing his serrated knife, the Sentinel went hunting.

After five minutes of travel without coming across any sign of life, a whispered conversation caught Alexander's ear. Carefully, the human followed the voice to a wooden door. He reached out to the tarnished brass handle, slowly turning it. Achingly, Alexander opened the door at a glacial pace, hoping desperately that the hinges would not squeak. Sighing in relief once the door was opened, he went through, closing the door just as carefully again. The voice that had drawn Alexander there drew his attention once more as the door shut with a muffled thump.

Alexander found himself on a balcony overlooking an underground vault. Lying down, he shimmied stealthily over to the wrought-iron railing and peeked over. Several guards were present, each doorway guarded by two on either side of the portals. However, what caught Alexander's attention was the white canvas tent occupying the center of the chamber. The voice that had drawn Alexander there wafted up from inside.

"Now, now, zis von't hurt a bit."

Inside the tent could be seen the silhouette of a unicorn and a shadow that may have been a table. Alexander drew in a quiet curse when the shadow squirmed. Shitfire! What are they doing in there?

"Please. I wanna go home." Alexander's heart just about broke as he heard the voice of a young filly coming from the tent.

"Now now, I haff already said zat zis von't hurt a bit." The shadow jabbed something into the filly, eliciting a cry of pain from the captive. "It vill be excrutiating." The filly began to scream as her writhing silhouette bulged and swelled with nauseating snaps and crackles. The screaming was abruptly replaced by a sickening pop, and the view of the inside of the tent was blocked by a spray of blood. Alexander covered his mouth in horror at what he had seen, praying to the Emperor that he wouldn't vomit. The gore soaked tent flap opened, revealing a tall skinny bald yellow unicorn wearing a pristine white lab coat. A cutie mark of a bloody scalpel was emblazoned on the flank.

The piss colored unicorn pointed a hoof at a hulking brown minotaur. "You! Bring mir anuzzer specimen vile I report zis latest failure to our masters!"

The minotaur bowed. "At once Doctor." The minotaur exited through a door below the balcony. Alexander shimmied over to a set of stair he hadn't noticed earlier and watched the bullish guard pass by the bottom. Quietly, Alexander followed the beast, swearing upon the Emperor's name that he would snap the neck of that foul piss-coloured xenos if it was the last thing he'd do. Alexander froze as the minotaur looked around. Shit! Alexander plastered himself to the wall, the last corner they'd taken too far away to make in time. Iam the darkness that surrounds me, I am the air that surrounds me, I am the land that hides me, I wait to strike, From the darkness, I wait to kill, From out of thin air, I am invisible, And I am silent death. To Alexander's shock and delight, the minotaur shrugged, after looking directly at him, and continued down the hall. Maybe he's shortsighted?

Alexander peaked around the corner the minotaur had just turned, and watched as the guard opened a large, heavy looking wooden door. A cacophony of wretched wails and the cries of small children hardened the Sentinel's heart. Alexander drew his sword, following the clueless minotaur into the prison. A hush fell on the dungeon as the human shut the door calmly. The minotaur spun around at the end of the long, wide hall. He pointed a meaty finger at the human.

"What are you doing, pup?"

Alexander chuckled, a spine tingling thing that held no mirth. "I'm going to kill you, xenos scum."

The minotaur pawed at the ground with a hoof. "Brave words, little calf. But foolish."

With a bellow that shook the prison bars around them, the minotaur charged at Alexander. Simply smiling, Alexander strode to the center of the room, neatly sidestepping the charging bovine at the last moment like he had once seen while on leave on an agriworld. "Ole!" Alexander swatted the minotaur across the rump with the flat of his rapier as the xenos passed. Yes, he would kill this thing, this beast, but he would do it slowly. The minotaur screeched to a halt with a surreal squeal of rubber, before scrabbling around on all fours to face the human. Red crept into its eyes as it pawed at the ground. Bellowing once more, the xenos thundered down on Alexander with the speed of a raging freight train, but once again, Alexander nimbly avoided the charge, swiping his sword at the minotaur with another "Ole!"

The minotaur ground to a halt, spinning to face the human again. With a casual slowness, a good portion of his left horn separated from his head, clattering on the ground. Alexander put a hand over his respirator where his mouth would be. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I do that?" The minotaur bull's red-tinged vision turned crimson. With an all mighty bellow, he charged the mocking human. Alexander sidestepped him once more, but this time the minotaur lashed out with a meaty fist, clipping the left side of the Sentinel's head. Had Alexander not been wearing a helmet, his skull would have been pulped like an overripe melon. As it was, the powerful punch had cracked the visor over his left eye and dented the helmet.

Alexander cracked his neck slowly, snarling at the stars plaguing his vision. He glared at the minotaur pawing at the ground across the hall. The minotaur charged. Alexander planted his feet, leaning forward as he crouched slowly. The minotaur bore down on him. "AVE IMPERATOR!" With a mighty cry, Alexander lunged forward with the speed of a striking cobra. The two combatants passed each other and ground to a halt. For a long moment, neither party moved, the kidnapped prisoners watching in silent anticipation, forgetting to breath.

An exaggerated geyser of hot blood spewed from the minotaur's torso as he fell to the stone floor like wet laundry. Alexander stood and shook the blood from his power sword before sheathing it. He clutched his side, grimacing at the blood on his hand. During their last pass, the minotaur's remaining horn had broken off in Alexander's side. Fortunately, it appeared to have missed anything vital.

Alexander looked at the nearest cell to find a blood red pegasus stallion with a white mane staring at him with piercing green eyes. "You okay?"

Alexander nodded. Slicing open the lock, he pointed to the corpse of the minotaur laying in a ridiculously large pool of steaming blood. "Keys. Get these cells open." The pegasus nodded and left his cell. Alexander sat against the wall as he pulled out his med kit. Pulling up his shirt and clenching his jaw, he quickly yanked out the broken horn with a pained gasp. Quickly, the Sentinel injected a measure of disinfecting coagulant foam, hissing as millions of biting ants filled the cavity. Slapping a length of synthskin over the wound, Alexander lowered his shirt.

He turned to the find the red pegasus comforting several crying foals. The pegasus looked at the bloody human in concern. "Who are you?"

"A friend. Comeon, we need to move." Alexander slowly opened the door to the prison, quickly glancing up and down the corridor. Holding a finger to his face in a shushing manner, he motioned the stallion and foals to follow him. They made it safely to the balcony without incident. Herding the colts and fillies through the door, he pulled aside the red stallion. "Here. This is a flare." He handed the stallion a red cylinder. "When you hit this end against the ground, it shoots a fireball into the sky. Follow my tracks in the dust until you find the hole. Wait until you hear explosions, then get outside. Shoot off the flare and get over the ridge dead ahead. There will be a squad of royal guards waiting for you." Alexander turned away.

"Wait." The red pegasus grabbed the hem of Alexander's tunic. "They took a filly, with a fuschia mane before you came." Alexander looked at the gorey tent below. He shook his head. The stallion closed his eyes, punching the wall in despair. He looked up at Alexander. "Make them pay." He followed the softly crying foals into the dark hallways.

Alexander entered the gallery below the balcony. The guards had all left, leaving Alexander alone with the morbid tent. Slowly, he entered the shelter. He took in the blood splattered everywhere but for a perfect circle on the floor and one wall. Bastard must've used a shield spell. Alexander turned to the corpse chained to the table. It was a disturbing sight. No child, of any species or race deserved her fate. The poor filly had been tortured before she was slaughtered. Her hooves had been mutilated and destroyed. Her coat was marred and melted, large patches of fur burnt away by chemicals. But the worst part was the gaping, empty cavity that had been her torso. Sadly, Alexander gently closed her terrified, unseeing eyes. Now she look like she was sleeping peacefully.

Alexander opened the satchel at his hip. Pulling out a phosphorous grenade, he set the timer and carefully hid the explosive under the table. Stroking the poor filly's mane, he began to pray to the Emperor on his knees. Mighty Emperor, spread Your divine light to protect this child from the darkness. Making the sign of the Aquila, he stood.

Leaving the tent behind, Alexander went to the door that the so-called 'doctor' had passed through. Two quick slashes with his sword had the door lying on the floor in four smoking pieces. Alexander stalked into the hall beyond as the grisly tent combusted with a FWOOMPH! A pair of griffins wielding spears came charging at Alexander.

"I will destroy all who seek to destroy me."

The griffins fell to the ground, smoking craters gaping in their chests. A minotaur the red of dried blood came barreling at Alexander from a dark doorway.

"I fear no evil, I fear no death, for the Emperor comes for me.

The minotaur fell to the ground behind Alexander, his head staring at the bottom of his hooves. A unicorn dashed out of the shadows, magic glancing off Alexander's armor.

"I have become death, destroyer of foes."

The unicorn's blue shield collapsed, followed closely by the unicorn as a las bolt removed his head. Alexander stepped into a large vault. Several large canines lunged at the Sentinel from all angles.

"Smite the foe! Smash the enemy! For the Emperor I bring death!"

The last diamond dog fell as Alexander pulled the shimmering sword from his head. Alexander looked around at the vault. He snarled as he realized he had found the location where the unicorn 'doctor' had made his concoctions and foul mixes. Opening his satchel, he began placing demolition charges around the laboratory. A glimmer of light drew his notice as he placed the last one. His gaze fell on a strange egg with a fire pattern on it. He carefully placed the egg in his empty satchel. Maybe this will get me some answers as to what these bastards are doing here. Walking over to the last set charge, he twisted the timer. Leaving it set to fifteen minutes, Alexander left the room for the main entrance.

Alexander entered the main hall to find a veritable army waiting for him. A beaker filled with a sickly green liquid smashed open at his feet, spilling its hissing contents across the stone-wood floor. The piss-yellow bald unicorn stood at the rear of the army, shaking with rage. "You IDIOT! You haff ruined eferyzing! Zey haff cut me loose! I am a ded pony! And all becauze of you!" Biting the stopper off a beaker, he messily drank the bubbling red juice.

The beaker smashed on the floor as the 'doctor' began to laugh hysterically. His body began to bulge and swell as a dark, red streaked miasma rose from the cracks in the ground, enveloping the thrashing unicorn. The miasma grew to tower above the army as it backed away from the shadowy terror.

FLESH!

Tentacles of black and red sinues stabbed out from the shadowy colossus, impaling the army of mercenaries around it. They didn't even have time to scream as they exploded like so many gore-filled balloons. The red mists were sucked into the vortex of darkness as the tendrils of black and crimson withered into dust. The shadows dispersed, revealing a towering black and red behemoth. Dark talons clutched at the air. Black, draconic wings unfurled from its scaly back. Blood-red horns and spikes adorned the corrupted body. The empty, soulless eyes bore into Alexander.

DIE!

Massive tentacles shot out from the body of the daemonic beast, stabbing down at Alexander. He dove to the side, scrambling to keep his feet as he ran alongside the wall, tendrils sending showers of brick and mortar and wooden splinters blowing out as they smashed through the walls. A tendril slammed into the wall in front of Alexander, sending him to his knees in agony as a pencil sized splinter drove its way through a crack in his visor. Screaming in rage and pain as he yanked out the bloody sliver of wood, Alexander began shooting wildly at the colossal demon as it retracted its tentacles. It moved to step on the human.

A dull thump shook the building, causing the monstrosity to pause. Recognizing it as the detonation of a democharge, Alexander quickly ran for the exit. The abomination that was once a pony shot out its tentacles once more to stop him. Desperate to escape before the other charges went off, Alexander somehow managed to avoid the tendrils of blood and shadow, jumping, dodging, rolling, cutting his way to freedom.

Deep below the main antechamber, a timer clicked as it counted down in an empty laboratory. It reached zero.

The floor erupted in fire as the majority of the remaining demo charges detonated. The monster of gore and darkness screamed in rage as it was consumed by the fires, disappearing forever from view as the floor beneath it crumbled away. Almost out into the freezing blizzard, Alexander found himself tossed about through the air by the pressure wave of the enormous explosion. He lay there unconscious on his back as the structure burned and collapsed, explosions sending debris into the stratosphere as another democharge or volatile chemicals cooked off.

PRESENT TIME...

Alexander fought for his life. Wendigos circled around him, making that Emperor-awful wailing. He had managed to take out at least a dozen of the icy daemons, but for every one he felled, two more came wailing out of the blizzard. A wendigo charged Alexander from the left, taking advantage of the blind spot created by his wounded eye. His left arm went numb as the inmaterial daemon passed through his left shoulder, dropping the satchel carrying the strange egg he had found. Emboldened, the wendigos began to dive bomb Alexander, encasing him in more and more ice with every frozen breath. As the ice began to close on his good eye, Alexander saw the satchel roll onto one of the remaining magnesium flares. Alexander's world faded to black as the bag caught fire, burning away to reveal the fiery egg.

A burst of light and heat exploded from the egg, turning snow and ice to steam and banishing the wendigos. Alexander collapsed to his knees, his left arm hanging uselessly at his side. Opening his good eye, Alexander found that he was kneeling in a scorched patch of bare dirt as snow drifted lazily from the clouds above. At the center of the burnt circle sat a small bird. It ruffled its fiery feathers as it hopped up to Alexander. Chirping, it nuzzled its beak against his knee. Alexander stared at the chick, before holding out his right arm. The baby bird hopped onto his finger, nuzzling it fondly. Alexander held the bird up to his face.

"I guess...I owe you my life, don't I?"

The chick chirruped happily, hopping up the human's arm to nestle in the folds of the camo cloak on his shoulder. Standing, Alexander smiled as he thought he heard the baby bird snore. Picking up his laspistol, he holstered it, turning to face the valley before him. He carefully made his way down the slope until he saw a formation of pegasi clearing the clouds ahead. Digging in his webbing, Alexander popped a flare for extraction and a ride back to Canterlot.

May the Best Win

Alexander stood at parade rest before the princesses, having just finished his report on what was becoming known as "The Massacre of Foal Mountain." Celestia closed her eyes in quiet pain for the lives lost, while Luna seemed ready to fly into an uncontrollable rage at the slaughter of foals. Not even as Nightmare Moon had she threatened the lives of children. Celestia opened her eyes, meeting the one eye visible through the gauze swaddled on Alexander's face.

"You are certain that this doctor was not working alone?"

Alexander nodded. "Yes. Before he...perished, the good 'doctor' claimed that 'they' had thrown him to the wolves, so to speak. Also, for such an operation to remain hidden for so long, and for so many to go missing before it was discovered speaks of outside help."

One of the guard captains, a large white unicorn with a blue mane and tail spoke up. "You don't know that for certain." He flushed, bowing to Celestia and Luna. "I do beg your pardon."

Alexander turned his attention to the captain. "Captain, we in the Imperial Guard had a saying. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."

Celestia nodded, a thoughtful expression painted on her face, while Luna continued to struggle to keep her rage in check. "Sage words indeed. Unfortunately, we are now without a champion."

Alexander raised a brow. "What am I, chopped liver? I'm still good to go!"

Celestia derped for a moment, just long enough for Alexander to see it, before she composed herself once more, Luna finally forgetting her rage in bemusement. "My dearest Sentinel, while your...enthusiasm is commendable, the reality of the situation is that you are missing an eye."

Alexander shrugged. "What, this? It's just a scratch."

Celestia gestured to Alexander's left. "Not to mention that your left arm had to be amputated."

Alexander referred to the pinned sleeve where his arm had been. "A flesh wound. Give me a few weeks, I'll be right as rain."

Luna went buggy-eyed at this declaration. "But-but not even magic can regrow lost limbs!"

The cycloptic Sentinel gave a knowing grin, one that smugly said 'I know something you don't know.' "Hey, you have your magic, I have mine." Alexander turned his head to look at the Phoenix chick, the one he had rescued and been rescued by in turn, playing with Celestia's phoenix Philomena. "By the way, what reasons would one have to experiment on a phoenix egg?"

Celestia regarded the frolicking firebirds. "Phoenixes possess potent magics, ones that allow them to be reborn from their ashes, amongst other things. Phoenix feathers can be used in a variety of protection and healing potions, while the ashes left over from a rebirth are rumored to have restorative powers. Perhaps this madstallion intended to mine this phoenix for ingredients." Celestia turned back to the one-armed man. "Have you named him?"

Alexander nodded. "I have named him Cinis, High gothic for embers and ash." Hearing his name, the newborn chick left his perch with Philomena to flutter over to Alexander, occasionally flipping over to fly upside down. With a relieved sigh, Cinis perched on Alexander's shoulder, fluffing up as the exhausted chick dozed off.

Celestia chuckled at the small bird's exuberance as Philomena left her perch to sit on the back of the Solar Diarch's throne. "A very apt name for a phoenix." She turned and whispered something to Luna, her sister whispering something back in return. The two princesses finished their counsel and returned their attention to Alexander. "We have decided to allow you your four weeks vacation. Perhaps you too will rise from the ashes as you claim." With a bow, Alexander took his leave.

Alexander opened his bleary eye as he regained consciousness. Sitting up, he groggily looked around the brightly lit medbay of his derelict frigate. He turned to Cog and Syrette. "So, how'd it go?"

Syrette chuckled. "Why don't you see for yourself?" Alexander looked at the stump of his left arm to find a shiney new augmetic interface socket, ready for a new arm to be put in.

Alexander wiggled what was left of his upper arm. "Great. So how long until I get an arm to go with it?"

Cog lifted a bundle in his mechadendrites. <I have one for you now.>

"Really?" Alexander stared incredulously at the burnished onyx finish of the artificial limb. "That was fast."

Syrette shrugged as Alexander took the arm in his organic one, placing the bionic in the socket. "Yeah, we found it in the mechanicus shrine, already mostly built. We just had to readjust some bits and added a few extras."

Alexander ceased flexing the new limb. "What kind of extras?" He stared suspiciously at Syrette and Cog. The medic coughed nervously as the techpony stood there like a statue. Syrette was the first to break the long, awkward silence. "Well, ah...I got nothing. Cog?"

There was a burst of binary, the closest any self-respecting techpriest would allow themselves to get to a sigh. <Every living being on Equus has some amount of magical energy within them. Even the non-pony races have some form of magic users.>

"Alright, so everything here has magic, so what?"

<While you were unconscious from the anesthetic, we discovered that your body has been absorbing the natural magics present in the air. However, since you lack the magical organ necessary to manipulate mana->

"Mana?"

"Mana is essentially the raw form of magic that permeates everything. Completely unconnected to the warp in any way."

<Yes, well said Syrette. Now as I was saying, because you lack the necessary organ needed to manipulate mana, namely a horn, you would be unable to project your mana outside of your body. At best, you would find yourself getting stronger and faster, and I hypothesize that your body's ability to heal would also increase, much like an earth pony. However, I put inlays of psycho reactive metals into your augmetic, so in theory, it should allow you to cast spells as well as any unicorn.>

Alexander flexed the metal limb. "You're saying I'll be able to use magic, without needing to worry about a demon eating my brain?"

<In theory.>

"Hmm..." Alexander thought quietly for a moment, metal fist clenching and unclenching slowly. It's not warpcraft. So, I guess there's nothing to be concerned about. If a pony can do it, then I'll do it better. Besides, Syrette seems comfortable enough with it. Can't be all bad. I hope. He looked around the medbay. The Sentinel lifted his augmetic hand towards a scalpel on a tray. Best to start small. The Sentinel concentrated on the razor utensil. Lift. A golden glow surrounded the hand, an identical aura surrounding the knife. It shook slightly. Come on, LIFT! The scalpel jumped off the tray, imbedding itself in the bulkhead above. "Um...Oops."

Syrette shook his head. "Yeah, should'a' seen my first attempt at magic. Nearly set Cog on fire."

<You did immolate me. As well as a good portion of the town.>

"Yeah, so like I was saying, not the worst first try I've seen."

Alexander shook his head. "So, how long until I get a new eye?"

<It will be a few months before I can finish it.

"A few months? Why so long?"

<I somehow feel that the normal augmetic lens won't suffice here. I intend to fabricate, nay, craft one that will fit in your socket as well as your natural eye does. There are also some things I must attend to, supplies to procure before I can begin. For instance, your armor is a disaster, and I am sure you would like it to be ready before your next mission.>

Alexander sighed. "Yeah." Rolling down his sleeve, he looked at the chronometer on the wall. The Sentinel stood up from the operating table. "Well, time to go meet Fluttershy in the park. Gotta go pick up Cinis."

Syrette looked at the door Alexander had left through. "Who's Cinis?"

Alexander entered the park to find the Elements of Harmony frolicking with their pets. Applejack was playing fetch with her collie, Winona, the farm dog gleefully barking every time she chased after a stick. Twilight was talking with Pinkie Pie, the lavender unicorn's owl, Owliscious dozing on her head as Gummy, Pinkie's toothless baby alligator gnawed on his mistress's bubblegum tail. Over by a few bushes, Rarity was magically batting a ball of yarn towards her persian cat Opalescence, a ball that the prissy cat was trying very hard to aloofly ignore. Under a tree, Angel Bunny and Chomper the minifex were deep in a staring contest, both visibly sweating as they struggled not to blink. Nearby, Fluttershy was whispering encouragement to Cinis as the small chick bobbed unsteadily through the air. Seeing the little Phoenix fluttering around Fluttershy's head, Alexander called to him with a sharp whistle. Delighted, the baby Phoenix flitted over to the human and nested in his hair. Alexander heard soft snores as the fiery feathered chick took a nap on his head.

"Oh, Alexander, it's nice to see you. How's your-oh, your arm! It's back! That's wonderful."

Alexander shushed the butter-yellow pegasus. "Shhh. Thanks for looking after Cinis for me. And, thank you for not telling the others about the extent of my injuries. I'd rather not have to explain things too much too soon." When Alexander had dropped Cinis off at Fluttershy's cottage, the poor mare had fainted upon seeing the pinned shirt-sleeve where his arm had been. Once she had recovered, Alexander had explained that he needed her to watch his pet while he got an augmetic arm, as well as what an augmetic was. When the pegasus had wanted to know more about replacement limbs, Alexander had made her promise not to tell anyone about augmetics until Cog could develop a reliable working prototype of an augmetic pony limb, a task that was proving surprisingly harder than had been originally thought.

Fluttershy blushed, hiding behind her mane. "Oh, it was no problem. He's such a sweetie. And I did make a Pinkie Pie promise, remember?" Alexander remembered. He personally thought that it was a bit strange, and when he asked how he knew she wouldn't break the promise, he could have sworn he heard someone screaming 'FOREVER!' out in the distance when Fluttershy explained that was how to lose friends.

"I remember." Alexander looked around. "Hey, where's Rainbow Dash?"

No sooner had the words left Alexander's lips when a yelp came from the tree Opal had climbed to escape from the attentions of the other pets. The other Elements quickly went to collect their pets.

Rarity scooped up Opal. "Sincerest apologies, Rainbow, if our pets were bothering you. Say you're sorry, Opal." The pampered persian turned away and hissed. Rarity blushed sheepishly. "She's... sorry."

Rainbow Dash lifted a hoof. "What are you all doing out here?"

Applejack tossed a stick with her tail, Winona chasing it gleefully. "Why, we always round up our critters for a regular ol' Pony Pet Playdate in this park."

Dash blinked. "Uh, you do?"

"Same time every week."

Fluttershy pawed at the ground with her hoof. "I thought you knew. You didn't know? She didn't know?" The poor pegasus looked ready to cry.

Twilight began to explain. "Well, we had initially planned on inviting Rainbow, of course, except–"

Pinkie took the opportunity to jump in, gummy clamped onto her head like a leech. "We were totally gonna invite you, Rainbow, then Twilight remembered that you don't even have a pet, and Rarity remembered that you really like to take naps in the afternoon, so Applejack figured you wouldn't be missing out on anything anyway, and Fluttershy and I nodded our heads in agreement like this." The pink party pony grabbed Fluttershy's head and made her nod.

Fluttershy seemed unable to stop nodding as she apologized. "Oh, please don't be mad at us."

Rainbow Dash waved a hoof dismissively. "Oh, I'm not mad. You all are right. Not much point of a Pony Pet Playdate for me if I'm a pony without a pet, right?" She turned to Alexander. "Besides, I'm not the only one here without a pet, right Alex?"

"Um..."

Rainbow noticed the dozing ball of reddish down on the human's head. "Oh, c'mon, when did you get a pet?"

"Quite recently."

"Right. C'mon Flutters, we're getting me a pet!"

"O-okay."

Alexander shook his head at the sight of Fluttershy being dragged away by Rainbow Dash, receiving an alarmed squawk from the baby bird on top. "Sorry." He turned to leave the park. "C'mon, let's go make sure the town didn't explode while I was gone."

Alexander climbed the stairs to his room, utterly exhausted. What had started out as a simple day had quickly escalated into something else. First, he barely came away with his life when several large and heavy objects fell out of a moving wagon pulled by some pegasi. Ditzy Doo had apologized profusely, promising she'd give him some muffins in the mail tomorrow. Then, that crazy aqua unicorn from the other day, Lyra something or other, had assaulted him again, showing off his hands to a cream-colored earth mare with a two-tone purple mane who had quickly pointed out that Alexander had been in Ponyville for several weeks. Lyra had promptly turned a violent crimson, too embarrassed to apologize as she shuffled off with Bonbon. After that, he'd been run over by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, more specifically, Scootaloo. And to top it all off, that damned little carnifex had eaten a frag grenade, merely puffed up like a balloon when it detonated and coughed up a cloud of smoke. Alexander was beginning to doubt that the abomination could even be hurt, much less killed.

Sighing, Alexander entered his room and knelt before the small shrine he had made to the Emperor. Striking a match, he lit two of three votive candles, the third absolutely refusing to catch. Sighing in frustration as the match went out, Alexander put aside the unlit candle. He began to pray to the Emperor.

"Oh, divine Emperor, protector of mankind, I find myself in the employ of xenos, my comrades no longer human, and myself and my regiment betrayed by those we once served. These xenos, these ponies, they should sicken me with their presence, but, I-I feel comfortable around them. I've been tackled by them on several occasions, but never once did I consider harming them, until I became their Sentinel and went to Foal Mountain. I let a mutant carnifex live, because one of them argued to do so. This place, I feel more at home here than I ever did anywhere in the Imperium. I know you approved of my decision to aid their rulers as I could, but I-I still don't know if I am doing the right thing. And now, I'm basically a Psyker. I just don't know what to do."

As Alexander knelt with head bowed, he heard a small *fwumph*. Looking up, he found that the third candle was burning, as if to tell him that 'everything will be alright.' Smiling gratefully Alexander moved to pinch out the candles with his augmetic. "Thank you." The candles out, Alexander stood and went to go to bed.

Alexander fired his bolt pistol into the mass of screaming cultists, the mass-reactive rounds adding fountains of blood and gore to the bleeding skies. He swung his chainsword down in a sweeping chop, decapitating the last one. Turning to his squad, the sergeant gestured to his men. "C'mon, we need to get into those ruins!" Alexander began to charge toward a crumbling apartment complex, his squad following him. Alexander looked over his shoulder to make sure the hooded and cloaked eleventh member of the squad was keeping up.

"Alexander?" A feminine voice brought Alexander to a halt, a ghostly after image continuing on to lead the advance. He turned to find a midnight blue alicorn standing beside him. It's...just a dream.

"Luna, why are you in my head?"

"As the Princess of the night, it is our-my duty to ensure that our subjects' dreams are peaceful and protected."

"Protected?" Alexander did not like the sound of that. "Why would dreams need to be protected? And you still haven't answered why you're in my head."

If Luna was perturbed by Alexander's demanding questions, she didn't show it. "I am not the only pony who can access dreams. As for why we chose your dream, we find you...interesting." The royal unicorn looked at her bloody surroundings. "Where are we?"

"Heh." Alexander flung his arms out dramatically, taking in the hellish landscape. "Welcome to the fall of Eridanus VI!"

"What happened?"

"Chaos."

That one word, somehow filled with the unbound malice and hatred of an entire species, was enough of an answer for Luna to guess what had happened. She looked to where Alexander's memory-self had progressed, and found him talking to the cloaked figure. The figure was tall and gaunt, but not undernourished. His frail-looking hand grasped an ebony hafted staff topped with a golden Aquila like a drowning man clings to a floating board. He looked to be swimming in the too-large olive cloak he wore. The sharp clarity of the memory of him was a stark contrast to the blurry figures that made up the rest of the squad.

"Who is he?" She pointed a hoof towards the figure.

Alexander followed her hoof. "My brother."

Luna felt the profound sadness held in those two words that spoke of tragedy and loss. "What happened?"

Alexander stared at the hooded figure with the staff. "I killed him."

Author's Note

Dun-dun-dun-DUUUUUUUN!

Ne'er Do Well

"I killed him."

Luna stared at Alexander in horror. If she hadn't heard the words from his mouth, she would have thought he was speaking about the weather.

"Y-you killed him?" Oh, Mother, what kind of monster did my sister and I put our trust in? Alexander saw the horror on Luna's face, heard it in her voice. He sighed.

"It wasn't like that." Alexander looked away. "If anything, it was a mercy." He watched the memory before him progress. "You and Celestia weren't the only siblings to fight to the death. Unlike your sister, I didn't have the luxury of sending my sibling to the moon."

Several shadowy figures spawned out of the very air, no definition or form to them, as if the very memory of them had been...corrupted. Shouting in surprise and terror, the squad of guardsmen opened fire on the shadows. The volume of lasers thrown at the legion of corrupted memory was staggering, but scarcely a handful vanished as they 'died.'

"What are those...things? And why are they so...blotchy?"

Alexander shuddered as he looked at the 'blotchy' figures. "Those are daemons, denizens of the Immaterium. The reason they're so undefined is because to look upon them is to invite insanity." Sure enough, one of the guardsmen dropped his weapon and curled up into a fetal ball, babbling as he clutched his head before taking his own life. "I suppose the cloudiness is my mind's way of protecting itself."

The eyes of the gaunt hooded figure of Alexander's brother glowed with an unearthly power. Raising his staff, the brother slammed the butt down on the ground. A torrent of otherworldly flame and lightning flowed out over the legion of shadows, snuffing them out as one would blow out candles on a cake. Luna sighed in relief. "At least it's over."

"Yeah, that's what we thought too. But we'd been pushing him too hard. We should have let him rest when he started hearing things, but we...didn't."

Ahead, the gaunt form of Alexander's brother began to writhe and scream, clutching at his head as his eyes bled. His form began to bulge and twist as something inside began to mold his body like wet clay. The memory-Alexander held up his bolt pistol, but was batted aside like a wet leaf in a storm. The memory faded to black among screams and terrifying roars, the only thing visible hot fountains of blood as unseen bodies were rent apart. A single gunshot ended the nightmare.

Alexander turned to Luna, who was almost as pale as her diurnal sister. "I lost my entire squad to that thing that took my brother from me. Not five minutes later, the evacuation order came through." Alexander turned away. "I lost my rank at the court martial a week later. That was about two years ago." He sat down, back to the princess of the night. "Please leave now. I'd like to be left alone with my thoughts." Luna bowed, tears in her eyes as she left the dreamscape.

At first, the days passed uneventfully, Alexander spending his time practising his swordplay and reading books on magic from the library. His understanding of the flow of mana to achieve one's goals was progressing, but he was still having problems grasping the connection between will and imagination. Yes he could imagine doing something, and he could apply his will to doing that, but somehow it never seemed to work as smoothly as he thought it should. It was frustrating to say the least.

Alexander wiped the applesauce off his face as the remains of the apple he had tried levitating finished raining down in the yard of the bunker. Sighing in frustration, he looked around at the applesauce strewn yard. "I just don't know what went wrong." He reached for the next apple in the bushel, but the basket was empty. Grumbling, Alexander started for the door inside, wiping apple pulp off his newly repaired armor. "What else can go wrong?"

A piercing scream caught Alexander's attention. "I had to ask." Vaulting the fence around the yard, Alexander ran in the direction of the terrified screaming.

"My baby! Somepony save my baby!"

Shit. A baby carriage went barreling past Alexander down a steep hill towards a rocky cliff. Shit! Alexander started running down the incline after the buggy. C'monc'monc'mon... He was rapidly falling behind, but giving up was the farthest thing from Alexander's mind. The buggy was about to fly off the cliff. NO! A chromatic blur zipped past Alexander, catching the buggy moments before it left the ground. Coming to a halt next to the cyan pegasus that had literally flown out of the blue, Alexander doubled over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. "Nice...catch."

Rainbow Dash smirked and waved at the cheering crowd below, before she gasped in horror. "Oh no, there's something wrong with the baby!" Everyone gasped in horror. "She's not cheering for everypony's favorite hero, Rainbow Dash!" Alexander facepalmed at the pegasus' theatrics as she took the foal back to her mother.

Shaking his head, Alexander spoke to Dash as she flew into the sky. "Hey kid, don't let it go to your head, alright?" Rubbing his face, Alexander decided to go get something to eat.

Alexander sat down at his preferred table on the veranda at Starbuck's cafe. "Hey Starbuck, I'll have my usual."

Starbuck, a coffee-brown stallion with a steaming mug of coffee on his flank looked up and smiled at the brooding Sentinel. "You got it. One Sentinel Special coming up."

"I really wish you wouldn't call it that." Starbuck didn't respond, not having heard the grumbled reply. A steaming mug of coffee was placed before Alexander by Starbuck's daughter Cocoa Bean. "Thanks." He took a pull from the mug, giving a content sigh. Black with just a hint of honey, something he'd come to appreciate on that one agri world they'd barely managed to save from the 'nids. Bliss. Alexander opened his eye to see Twilight trotting by in a blue funk. "Twilight? Somethin' wrong?"

"Wha-? Oh, Alexander, it's you. I - There - I'm worried about Rainbow Dash."

"Oh?"

"The girls and I, we're worried that she's letting this hero thing go to her head."

"I see."

"I just wish I knew what to do."

Alexander considered Twilight's words. So, Rainbow Dash is letting it go to her head. Boy, I never saw that coming. Well, Alexander knew just how to get her down off of her high horse. "Twilight, I know exactly how to bring Dash back down to earth." Twilight sat down across the table from Alexander as he sipped from his mug. "During basic training in the Guard, you'd occasionally get guys who'd think they were the Emperor's gift to the universe. You know, the type that knows everything, but doesn't really?" Twilight nodded. "Well, the DIs had a way of dealing with those guys. Say, oh, really big guy, thinks he doesn't need to learn hand to hand because he's stronger than anyone there and can beat up anybody there. Well, the Drill Sergeants would invite this guy to hit them. And as soon as he'd throw a punch at the sergeant, he'd find himself on the ground with the sergeant's boot on his throat. The lesson learned is that there's always someone better than you. Sometimes, though, this guy really would be able to take on the sarge, and would find himself at the bottom of a very large dogpile of assistant DIs. Thus, you may be the best, but you can't win alone against a group working together." He took another sip of coffee. "Any of that help?"

Twilight sat tapping her chin. "Hmm, so, if we beat Dash at the hero game, maybe it'll show her that she's overdoing it?"

"Eh, something like that I guess."

"Thanks Alexander. I've got to go talk with Rarity. Bye."

"Bye." Starbuck returned with Alexander's grilled cheese sandwich as Twilight cantered off in search of the unicorn fashionista. Picking up half of the sandwich, Alexander began to eat as he wondered about what Twilight was planning.

"That's right, Ponyville has a new hero..." Alexander tuned out the voices of the mayor and the crowd as he examined the downed balloon. He ran a hand, his organic one, over the ragged edge of the hole in the hot air envelope. Lifting a scrap of cloth, Alexander pulled away a blackened shred. Rubbing it between his fingers, the cloth disintegrated into ash. Standing, Alexander regarded the distant figure atop a nearby hill, then looked at the departing Twilight Sparkle. I wonder...

"Mare Do Well, huh? Well that mare would do well to stay outta my way! Ponyville's only got room for one hero, and that hero is me!"

Alexander glanced at Rainbow Dash. "Gee, Dash, jealous much?"

"Just you wait, I'll show everypony who the real hero is - WHOA!" Rainbow landed flat on her face as she tripped on a rope. Alexander shook his head and tucked the burnt scrap into a pocket. He'd have to show this to Cog.

"Alright, so what do we know?" Alexander looked expectantly at Cog and Syrette.

Syrette dropped a chunk of decomposing wood onto the kitchen table. "I went back to that balcony that collapsed at the old pony's home. The wood was rotted through. Funny thing though, when I asked about it, the manager told me that they had just put it in last year."

Alexander steepled his fingers. "Does wood rot that quickly?"

<It can. However, this wood, like all the wood used in construction here, has been treated with magic to resist aging. The balcony should not have collapsed.>

"So what about the hot-air balloon?"

<I examined the scrap you provided me and I found evidence of magical residue of an entropic nature.>

Alexander rubbed his face. "The bus' limbers had been cut halfway through with glue and sawdust mixed into the gap to hide the damage. And the crane at the construction site showed signs of tampering. Several of the control wires were cut and I found several broken locks. I wasn't able to find anything at the dam, but the way Mare-Do-Well put it back together, I'm not totally surprised."

Syrette scratched his chin. "Sounds like we've got a saboteur."

<Indeed. Statistics suggest that the saboteur is becoming desperate, or very frustrated at the least. This trend of increasingly large-scale damage and potential for loss of life suggests that the next prime target of opportunity would be the parade the Mayor is holding to honor this 'Mare-Do-Well' in two days time.>

Syrette shook his head. "How do we know that it isn't this 'Mare-Do-Well' that's causing these 'accidents?' Awfully convenient how she manages to stop these things before anyone gets hurt."

"I don't think it is MDW."

"Oh? And what makes you think that?"

Alexander thought back to his conversation with Twilight four days ago. "Call it a hunch." Syrette threw his hooves in the air.

"Fine, you have a hunch. Whoop-de-do!" Syrette rubbed his face with both hooves. "So, what do we do, tell the authorities?"

"What authorities?" Alexander snorted as he leaned back in his chair. "Until recently, Ponyville hasn't had any serious crimes for several decades. Their arbites, sorry, their police here consists of two old guys who'd probably be outrun by a snail with a broken toe and some filly who's barely out of training pants. Do you seriously think they'd be able to handle somebody who's blown up a dam?" Syrette shook his head. "Yeah didn't think so. No, we're going to have to handle this ourselves."

Cog's lenses flashed under his crimson hood. <While I do not doubt your skills, the simple fact of the matter is that three sets of optical organs will not suffice to properly survey the area that will be occupied during the parade and other festivities. We will require reinforcement.>

Alexander scratched the stubble forming on his chin. "Good point." His eyes brightened. "I know just who to call." Alexander climbed the stairs to his quarters, closing the door behind him.

Sitting at his desk, Alexander scratched Cinis' head as the little phoenix cheeped happily on his perch. Pulling out a scroll and ink and quill, Alexander began to write.

Princess Celestia,

I have no doubt that you've heard about the rash of incidents that have been occurring this past week in Ponyville. My colleagues and I have determined that these 'accidents' were in fact acts of sabotage and destruction that were only stopped by the actions of a private citizen acting as a masked vigilante. We believe that this saboteur's next target will be the parade and rally being held in two days time by the Mayor to honor this vigilante. In order to provide proper security for this event, I am requesting that you send a detachment of guards to Ponyville.

Alexander Yaeger
Sentinel

Alexander reread the letter and rolled it up. "Now to find Spike and send this to-" A fiery sneeze sent Alexander tumbling out of his seat as the letter turned to ash. Sitting up, Alexander glared at the snuffling phoenix on the desk. "And now I have to start over. Thank you." Cinis ruffled his feathers sheepishly, chirping an apology. Sighing, Alexander pulled out another piece of parchment and began to dip the quill into the inkwell. A sniffle from Cinis sent Alexander diving for cover moments before another burning sneeze scorched the desk. Peeking over the edge of the desk, Alexander saw a neatly rolled up scroll sitting in the middle of a burn on the desktop next to a sniffling baby phoenix. Cautiously, he snaked a hand over the scroll and snatched it back before anything else happened. Glancing suspiciously at the huffing bird, Alexander opened the scroll.

Dearest Alexander,

The news that somepony has been deliberately attempting to bring harm to my subjects disturbs me greatly. I am dispatching a squad of royal guards to Ponyville. Due to extenuating circumstances, I cannot send more, but rest assured, the squad I am sending you is more than familiar with your style of command. Should all go smoothly, they will arrive on the 8:00 train in the morning.

I wish you the best of luck.
Princess Celestia

P.S. I see you've discovered that dragons aren't the only species that can send mail by magic.

Alexander read the scroll again, making sure he had read it properly. Familiar with my style of command? What? He scratched his head in bemusement. I don't get it. Alexander looked at the clock on the wall. Urg, I'll find out in the morning.

Excess

Alexander stared out the window overlooking most of Ponyville, his hands clasped behind his back as he stood in thought That symbol, it was familiar to one he loathed with his entire being. It brought the same feeling of nausea to anyone who looked too closely, but it wasn't the same symbol. It was an eight-spoked wheel, but where that symbol had arrows, this symbol had alternating wiggling lines and outward facing crescent moons. Different, yet the same. Sighing, Alexander broke his mind from the disquieting thoughts about the previous week buzzing through his head. As he turned in for the night, he briefly hoped his suspicions were unfounded.

In a hollowed out tree, a blackish-green wisp snaked in through the keyhole. A deep, barely audible chuckle chilled the air as the wisp found its target. With a dark, evil hiss, it soaked into its prey. The sleeping form briefly opened its eyes, slit pupils flashing green before drifting back into dreams.

Alexander woke with the sun shining in his eye. Blinking groggily, he put on the eyepatch that had just mysteriously shown up. Seriously, where the hell did this come from? Stretching, Alexander began to do his morning PT, hanging from the doorframe as he did pull-ups. When he was finished with his strength training, Alexander dressed in his fatigues and went out the door. Taking in a deep breath, he began to jog his usual route through Ponyville, greeting each pony politely as he passed. After it had come to light that the deceased saboteur had not been a local, Alexander had come to the conclusion that he needed to know the names, faces, and occupations of each and every pony residing in Ponyville in order to ensure an outsider like that would not go undetected or unsupervised again. Getting on their good sides wouldn't hurt either.

"Roseluck, how're the flowers?"
"Oh, Alexander, they're doing well. Thank you."

"Carrot Top, how're things?"
"Those pesky rabbits are eating my crops again."

"I'll have a chat with Fluttershy, see if she can do anything about it. Hey Davenport, how's the sofa and quill business doin'?"
"Well, sofa sales are down this month, but quill sales are as strong as ever, thanks to Ms. Sparkle. Oh, and you, of course."

Alexander jogged past the already repaired Sugarcube Corner. Fortunately, the Cakes had been at the Mare-Do-Well Rally, so no one had been hurt. He decided to give getting a cupcake a pass, as he needed to borrow several more books on combat magics from Twilight. Yes, he was on vacation, but the notion of just relaxing for so long was foreign to him, so he trained, and trained hard. He turned a corner and was bowled over by a frantic lavender unicorn.

"Twilight, you better have a good reason for running me over."

Applejack helped Twilight and Alexander untangle their limbs from each other. "Spike's gone plum loco."

Alexander looked at Applejack. "Pardon?"

Twilight shook herself off. "Spike is experiencing an early onset of metamorphosis known among dragons as "greed growth," and has begun pilfering belongings and expanding exponentially."

"Wut?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Spike's goin' through early puberty and it's makin' him greedy and bigger."

"Oh." Alexander looked askew at Twilight. "Why didn't you say so? So how big is he now? Four feet, five feet?"

"Ahm...well..." A scream tore from Sugarcube Corner, interrupting Twilight and Applejack's response. Alexander blinked. He could have sworn that the bakery bounced several feet into the air with the force of the scream. Alexander barreled through the door, the girls right behind, only to bounce painfully off a mass of purple and green and crack his head on the floor. Sitting up groggily, Alexander blinked at the scaly beast before him being assaulted by thrown cakes and flung pastries. "Barney?" Thud!

Alexander sat up as he regained consciousness. "Ow." He looked up to find a pair of blue eyes not an inch from his. "GYAH!" Alexander recoiled from the pink pony invading his personal space. Pinkie Pie jumped up onto the human's chest, pressing her muzzle to his nose. "Who's Barney?"

"What? A child's vid character. Been around forever." He looked around at the flour and icing encrusted wall of the bakery. "Did Spike do this?"

Applejack helped Alexander to his feet. "Ah, no, that was Pinkie throwin' all those cakes an' things at 'im."

Alexander turned to Twilight. "How long was I out?"

"About fifteen minutes."

"Ergh. So...you weren't kidding about the growth, were you?" Twilight shook her head. Alexander rubbed his face. "So, um, just how big to dragons get?"

"Well," Twilight began. "The last dragon we faced was about fifty feet high, and he was on the small side."

"The small side?" Great. "Please tell me this isn't permanent?"

Twilight shook her head. "According to Zecora, if we can keep him from taking things for a while, he should revert to normal."

Alexander sighed with relief. "Oh good." He really didn't want to have to deal with a rampaging creature on its way to growing to bio-titan size. It was hard enough to take down one of those things with an army, but with just a small squad? Hells no. "Well, let's go find him and tie him up or something before he gets any bigger." A loud roar shook the building as Alexander opened the door.

"Shit."

Alexander looked away from the dragon towering over Ponyville. "I suppose shooting him with a missile is out of the question?" Alexander quickly waved his hands at Twilight's stricken expression. "Sorry, I had to ask." He ran out into the street. Taking off his helmet, he began to wave it above his head at the behemoth dumping things into an emptied water tower. "Hey, Big Guy. OH SPIKE! Got something nice and shiny for you!"

Spike turned and spotted the jumping human below. "MINE!" He reached out for Alexander.

Twilight yelled to Alexander as he ran by. "So, what's your plan?"

"I don't know, I didn't think that far ahead!" Alexander ran for his life through Ponyville as he tried not to become a giant dragon's next toy. Steel Rain flew up next to the sprinting sentinel, easily keeping pace. "Sir, what's the situation?" Alexander explained as briefly as he could. "Spike big, need to keep from taking things!" "Very good sir. I'll inform the rest." Rain peeled off, disappearing from Alexander's view. Dodging another grasping claw, Alexander found himself outside Carousel Boutique. Spike stopped chasing after Alexander and reached for the roof of the store. "Rarity."

A shrill scream could be heard as Rarity was lifted out of her home. "Put me down!" The dragon stomped off into town with the screaming unicorn clutched in his tail. An air raid siren wailed briefly before it was torn out of the ground. Alexander sprinted after him as his squad arrived with rope and grappling-hook launchers. "Get those launchers set up, we need to stop him from destroying the town."

Twilight galloped after him. "Spike wouldn't do that."

"Not on purpose, but have you ever seen what something that size can do if it doesn't watch where it steps? I have! It ain't pretty!" Alexander ground to a halt as Nickel finished setting up the last grappling-hook launcher. "Fire!" Nickel flipped a switch with his hoof, blasting the hook and rope into the air.

K-PANNNG

K-PANNNG

K-PANNNG

The three grappling hooks wrapped their ropes around the rampaging Spike's arms and tail. "Pull!" At Alexander's command, every pony in the squad hauled on their ropes. Spike roared and pulled at the ropes, sending Alexander and his squad flying in every direction as the ropes came loose. Alexander came crashing down through the roof of a nearby home.

Alexander sat up and threw debris off himself as the mare in the bath screamed, covering herself with the shower curtain. Alexander gave her a cool, measured look. "You go around bare naked in public. Quit screaming. It's nothing you haven't shown everyone before. The red-faced mare sunk into the bubble bath in embarrassment as Alexander left the room. Fluttershy met Alexander outside as he left the front door.

"Ohmygosh, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I jus--What is that doing here?" Alexander pointed to the chitinous mass sitting on the butter-yellow pegasus' rump. Chomper sat up and chirruped at Alexander happily as Fluttershy giggled. "Oh, the little dear wanted to help me with my shopping. She's such a sweetie." She leaned in close and whispered conspiratorially. "I think Angel Bunny has a crush on her." She giggled again as Alexander rolled his eyes.

"That's great. Listen, do you think you can get Spike up there to put Rarity down?"

Fluttershy turned around and squeaked. "T-that's Spike!?"

"Yes, think you can get him to calm down while I look for my squad?"

"Um, yes." Fluttershy gently picked up Chomper with her wings and placed the tyranid on the ground. "Now stay here, Chompy, mommy needs to go talk to the dragon, okay?" Chomper chirped as Fluttershy flew up to Spike's head. Halfway there, Rainbow Dash joined her before flying to the opposite side of the dragon's head from Fluttershy. Alexander watched as the two pegasi spoke to Spike. Well, whispered and threatened anyways. With a snort, Spike flicked his tail at the airborne pair, catching them in the Rarity's cape and sending the two down into the Ponyville Park lake as the cape tore. Alexander sighed in relief as Dash and Fluttershy emerged coughing from the water. A triple trail of smoke and lightning flying from Canterlot caught Alexander's attention. Pulling out a flare, Alexander sent it skyward, bringing the three pegasi in blue jumpsuits in for a landing.

The lead pegasus, a flame yellow mare with a matching fiery red mane saluted. "Spitfire of the Wonderbolts at your service. You must be the Sentinel everypony's talking about."

"Alexander Yeager. I am. So, what exactly were you planning to do to stop that dragon?"

Spitfire looked at her subordinates. "We were hoping to drive him back out of Ponyville. Failing that, well..." She left the unpleasant truth unspoken. She looked down at Alexander's feet. "Uh, is that thing okay?"

"What?" Alexander looked down to find Chomper snarling and foaming at the rampaging Spike.

As Alexander looked on, a thick, purplish-blackish miasma spewed forth from the hollow spines on the tyranid's back. Chomper's eyes began to glow as the fog swelled in size, soon covering half the block. A deep. ominous rumbling could be heard from within the haze. Soon, the smoke cleared to reveal a full-sized thirty-foot tall carnifex. The alien monstrous creature stepped forward with a reverberating thud, roaring a challenge at the purple dragon before it. Seeing a rival for 'his' belongings, Spike roared back before charging at the chitinous horror that dared to challenge him for his hoard. With a titanic crash, the two behemoths began duking it out in the middle of Ponyville.

Alexander ran for his life to escape the battlezone as the Wonderbolts flew out of harm's way. "Get everybody within five blocks away from here!" Hearing Alexander's shout, the three pegasi split up to evacuate the panicking civilians. Alexander didn't stop until he arrived at the roofless building that had been Sugarcube Corner. There, sitting in the demolished doorway, sat Pinkie Pie, eating popcorn like she was watching a movie. "Hey Alex, how ya doin'?" She squealed as Chomper tackled Spike. "Ooh, they'd love this in Neighpan!" Not knowing what else to do, Alexander sat next to Pinkie and accepted the second popcorn bucket she offered him.

Getting up from being body slammed by a giant insect, Spike exhaled, blowing a emerald fireball at the carnifex. At the same time, Chomper brought her scything talons together in front of her maw, eldritch energies crackling down. A shrill shrieking filled the air until a sickly green ball of bio-plasma rocketed out of her jaws. Fireball met plasma, and the two reacted as violently as vinegar and baking soda, the resulting explosion knocking the two combatants back several yards. Chomper recovered first, slashing at Spike with her scything talons, but Spike was able to catch them in his claws, razor talons unable to cut through his diamond hard scales. As Spike began to overpower the smaller monster, Chomper swung her crushing claws, knocking Spike into the remains of the water tower he had pilfered earlier. With Rarity still screaming bloody murder in his tail's grip, Spike sidestepped, grabbing the charging carnifex by the horn on her head and spines on her back. Heaving, Spike threw the carnifex into the lake, Chomper landing on her back in the mud, the splash coating Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy in brown ooze. Shrinking back down in a puff of black smoke, the mini-fex whimpered pitifully as Fluttershy comforted her.

However, Spike seemed to calm down as Rarity began to talk to him. Alexander could not hear what was being said, but whatever it was, it must have worked, because with a bright flash of light, Spike shrank back down to baby size and releasing Rarity from his grip...about fifty feet up. Alexander blew a sigh of relief when Rainbow and Fluttershy caught the pair in a hammock fashioned from the remains of the cape that had grounded them in the first place. Alexander couldn't help but laugh when Chomper jumped onto Fluttershy's head and flicked Spike on the snout with her crushing claw. Pinkie chose that moment to cheer at the happy ending to the ordeal, the squeal of joy causing Alexander to topple over away from her half deafened. Rubbing his ears as he stood, Alexander went to go find the Wonderbolts and his squad. Nobody noticed the blackish-green wisp floating away from where Spike had returned to normal.

Spike sat sniffing on a bridge as he wallowed in self pity. He hiccupped in surprise as the only other biped in Ponyville sat next to him. "Why are you crying?" Spike looked at Alexander in shock. Why was he crying? He had just rampaged through Ponyville, doing Celestia knows how much damage to the town. He told Alexander as much. Alexander leaned back on his arms, staring thoughtfully into the starry night sky. "It wasn't your fault."

*Sniff* "What?"

"Nope, from what Twilight told me, what happened to you is a perfectly natural thing to happen to young dragons." He frowned. "At least, I think that's what she was saying. I had some trouble understanding some of the bigger words. Anyways, what you did, did you do any more damage than the town usually seems to incur during these sort of things?"

"No."

"Was anybody seriously hurt?"

"No."

"Well there you go. And you managed to snap yourself out of it yourself, so I hear. That takes a lot of personal strength of character to be able to do something like that." Alexander's face darkened, but in the dark, Spike didn't notice. "I know that for sure."

Sighing, Alexander stood. "Listen, kid, I'm not very good at this, but, happy birthday." Alexander placed a helmet on Spike's head. "Take care." Alexander walked away, leaving a marshmallow unicorn to approach the newly helmeted baby dragon. Sighing, Alexander shook his head. "I need a vacation from this vacation."

Far above, in the darkness of the night, a powerful being raged at the thwarting of his plans for mayhem. Swearing to its dark gods, it silently promised a reckoning to the human below.

Author's Note

Alexander really had no idea just how long Barney the Dinosaur had been around...seriously, how has that relic survived extinction since my childhood?

Candlemas

Winter set in quickly in Equestria. One day, they were having the 'Running of the Leaves,' the next, a thick blanket of snow covered the land. Alexander wondered quietly as he stared into the snowy sky. Taking in a deep breath, he savored the crisp, cleanness of the winter air. He still couldn't believe that the pegasi had to change the seasons manually. Perhaps it had something to do with the damage caused by the mysterious dark forces? Upon thinking that, Alexander's thoughts drifted to the so-called 'four horses.' Who were they? What were they? So far, neither Cog nor Twilight had been able to find any reference to these mysterious beings. Looking down from staring up at the grey sky, Alexander spotted Twilight coming towards him.

"Twilight."

"Hello Alexander."

Twilight stood there for a moment before Alexander breached the silence. "So, was there something you wanted?"

"Oh, yes." Twilight produced a colorful flyer from her saddlebags. "I wanted to invite you and your friends to the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant in Canterlot. The girls and I are the protagonists this year."

Alexander accepted the flyer. "Hearth's Warming Eve?"

"Yep." Twilight nodded. "It's a celebration of the unification of the three tribes over a thousand years ago. Every year, ponies get together to celebrate friendship and exchange gifts."

"Kinda sounds like Candlemas."

"Candlemas?"

"Mmhmm. Every Terran year, on the day of the Terran Winter Solstice, people gather in the cathedrals to pray to the Emperor for safety and prosperity in the oncoming year, leaving offerings to Him on Terra. Afterwards, they gather with their friends and family and exchange gifts themselves. Although," Alexander scratched his chin through his scarf. "Recently there have been rumors that Candlemas was taken from an ancient religion that preceded the Emperor's rise to power on Terra. But to tell the truth, I never really cared about that one way or another." He considered the flyer in his hand, ignoring Twilight furiously scribbling notes down on a piece of parchment. "This sounds interesting. Think I'll come. Can't speak for the others, though."

Twilight looked up from her notes. "Oh, thank you. See you then."

"Sure. Later."

Alexander sat in the back row of the throne room, where a large stage had been set up where the princesses normally sat. He sat alone. When he had asked his comrades if they wanted to come, Steel had declined for his fellow guardsponies, claiming that "you've seen one Hearth's Warming pageant, you've seen 'em all." Cog had also declined, stating that he had something he needed to finish. Syrette had said that he wanted to come, but that he had a prior commitment. So, Alexander sat alone in the back row of the throne room turned theater. Alexander turned his attention to the stage as the lights darkened. A smartly dressed Spike stepped forth from behind the curtains.

"Ladies and Gentlecolts...oh and Alex." Alexander resisted the urge to facepalm, giving a short wave/salute instead. "Once upon a time, long before the peaceful rule of Celestia, and before ponies discovered our beautiful land of Equestria, ponies did not know harmony. It was a strange and dark time. A time when ponies were torn apart... by hatred!" The audience gasped, unable to imagine such a time. For Alexander, however, it was all to easy to remember such a time and place.

The play opened to a stylized backdrop of a large wooden hall. Alexander watched as the three 'leaders' of the different tribes argued over who was to blame for an eternal winter. Interested, he sat back in his chair. Eventually, the leaders and their advisors set off to find a new land, one to replace their frozen wasteland. When they found it, Alexander watched with interest as the luscious and green backdrop of this new land was slowly changed to snowy wastes by unicorn's magic as the three 'leaders' argued. When the six hid in a 'cave,' the cold and ice followed. Alexander had to hold back a guffaw when he saw who was playing the part of one of the Windigoes. Syrette, wearing a trailing, ice-blue cloak and bodysuit, swung in circles above the actors from an almost invisible line. So, that's his 'prior commitment.'

When the 'windigoes' were defeated by the magic of friendship, Alexander clapped with the audience's stomping applause. The play had left him something to think about. This place was full of happiness and trust, almost a paradise in comparison. On the other hand, the Imperium was filled with suspicion and hatred, and was plagued by chaos, daemons and xenos on a regular basis. Perhaps...perhaps the Imperium's problems stemmed from the negative feelings that filled the population? He had heard his brother once mention that the warp was a mirror of the materium, the negative emotions of the materium's inhabitants reflected in the turmoil in the warp. Maybe he was onto something. Alexander dropped his line of thought with a sigh. It wasn't like he'd be able to do anything about it. There were too many years, centuries of ingrained hate and mistrust in the Imperium, too much to clear away in one lifetime. The only one who could conceivably end the hate and suspicion would be the Emperor Himself. Shaking his head, Alexander went to join Twilight, Syrette and the others for the trip back to Ponyville.

Alexander sat in the main room of the bunker with his baby phoenix on his shoulder as he considered the package in his hand. He looked up at Cog. "What is it?"

<You'll have to open it to find out.>

Alexander opened the box to find an eye. He lifted it out. "Is this...?"

<Yes. I finished early. You can put it in now, I put in the optical relays when I grafted on your arm socket.>

Of all the gifts he had received that night, the return of his full vision had to be the best, bar none, save maybe for the package of cupcakes from Pinkie Pie. Alexander carefully pushed the augmetic into his empty eye socket, wincing at the electrical shock as the connections were made. He blinked away a tear as static replaced the nothing to the left of his vision. Swiftly dissipating, the static was soon replaced with a view of the room. Syrette was sitting in the corner reading, uninterested in a process he had seen dozens of times. Steel, Nickel, Flame, and Sureshot just stared in amazement. Sureshot was the first to speak up. "So, h-he can make working p-pr-pre...fake limbs?" Alexander nodded. "Th-that's awesome."

Cog held a scavenged dataslate in a mechadendrite. <Now, your new eye has a few features you should be mad aware of. First of all, you now have a Heads-Up-Display that will allow you to monitor the battlefield more efficiently. In addition, your eye has thermal and night vision capabilities.>

"How do I use that?"

<Just think it.>

Half of the world dissolved into blues and oranges as Alexander concentrated. "Whoa." He swiftly returned his vision to normal as the room tried to spin. "That's gonna take some getting use to."

On Alexander's shoulder, Cinis sneezed, depositing a scroll on his lap. Picking up the scroll, Alexander read it over. "Gentlemen, looks like we have a mission."

Deep underground, below the frozen ruins of a mountain laboratory, a black wisp soaked into a broken corpse. A pair of black eyes snapped open.

I. Live.

Author's Note

Yes, short chapter, I know, but I promise, things are going to get interesting. Also, the identity of whom Nickel Lionheart is a tribute to shall be revealed next chapter.

Daring

Alexander stared out the window of the Intercontinental Airship Aurora at the azure seas below. Opening the manila folder in his lap, he shuffled through the papers there until he found the files he was looking for. Looking at the photo on the first, he considered the pegasus mare smirking cockily at the photographer. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that he was looking at a black and white pic of the Element of Loyalty. Hell, even the eyes were the same. Alexander looked at the header of the file. Daring Do. Archaeologist and a professor at Canterlot University, discoverer of the Sapphire Statue and the Griffin's Goblet, amongst other things. Alexander held a quiet respect for explorators like this Daring Do. They had the unenviable position of exploring the unknown beyond the safety of the known. However, Daring Do may have remained just a name to Alexander had it not been for her latest discovery deep in the jungles of South Amareica.

Alexander flipped to the next file. A blurry photo of a newly familiar wheel carved into an ancient stone wall. When he had shown the pictogram to the princesses several weeks back, both Celestia and Luna recognized the symbol, but could not remember where or when in their millennia spanning lifetimes they had seen it. Nor had they been able to find or recall any references to 'four horses.' Their investigation into those behind the Ponyville Bombings had ground to a halt. Until this symbol had shown up in a report from Dr. Do for the princesses. Maybe the ruins that contained it would have the answers they were looking for. An announcement that the airship would soon be docking drew Alexander from his thoughts.

Hot, muggy air hit Alexander like a brick wall as the external bulkhead swung open. Alexander walked down the gangplank to meet the mustard yellow Pegasus mare with the compass cutie mark. "Dr. Do, I presume?"

"Please, call me Daring. I only go by Doctor at the University." She looked at the empty gangplank behind the human. "You come alone?"

Alexander nodded. Rain and the other guardsponies had been unable to travel with him due to political...issues between Equestria and the nations of South Amareica. Cog had been knee-deep in his research, and Syrette had said he had something he needed to do on some holiday known as 'Hearts and...something day.' So, Alexander had come alone. Daring tilted her head as she pursed her lips. "Well, I hope you're as good as the rumors say you are."

"So," Alexander walked alongside the adventurer, remembering the briefing files he had perused. "Why didn't you go into the temple ruins?"

"Well, I was going to, but..." Daring trailed off with a shiver. "Then I saw that pictogram, and it gave me the heebie-jeebies. That, and all my porters galloped off, screaming about golems and evil spirits."

Alexander nodded, having had some experience with a race of undead golems of metal himself. "I don't blame them." He had barely survived that experience, only because the Harlech 501st had been on the first evac transport off that accursed ball of ice. He heard that some crazy commissar had blown up the promethium plant and mines there to cover the escape. He dragged himself back to the present as Daring continued talking.

"We'll be taking a boat up the river till we get to the point closest to the ruins. Ah, here we go." Daring came to a stop before a dilapidated old vessel that looked like it would fall apart on land, much less float.

"This thing? It's a piece of junk!"

"Hey, I'll have you know that the Neighvarra has gone farther than any other vessel afloat today." A large, slightly portly bearded yellow earth pony wearing a fez emerged from the cabin. Daring trotted onto the boat and was glomped by the older stallion. "Salad, how are you?" Daring was barely able to squeak out a greeting.

"I am well, Daring. So," Salad examined the human carefully, releasing Do from the bear hug. "Is this our passenger?" He glanced at Daring. "He's quite heavily armed. Are we expecting trouble? A certain...ape maybe?"

Daring shivered as she looked at the unfamiliar, yet deadly looking weapons on Alexander's back as he looked through some crates of supplies. "It's...possible. The only reason I didn't go into those ruins is because of that symbol I showed you. I haven't been so scared since that encounter with the False Alicorn."

"Hmm. I see. For something to have scared you, of all ponies. Well, no sense in delaying the inevitable, shall we be shoving off?"

"Let's."

A shrill shriek filled the air as the Neighvarra pulled away from the docks.

Alexander slashed away another particularly stubborn clump of vines, the graviton field around his blade causing the severed ends of the vines to sizzle. Only four hours ago had the sentinel and the archaeologist left the river, and they had barely made any progress into the thick underbrush.

"How is it you haven't taken a single break since we got started, and you're still going like a freight train?" Alexander looked over his shoulder at the befuddled mare and smirked. "I eat my spinach."

"Uh-huh." Shrugging, Daring watched as the sentinel swung his left arm at some more obstinate brush. She had to admit, it was taking only half as long as it had taken her to get this far as it had the last time she went to the temple ruins.

Several hours later, They stopped to set up camp. Daring looked like she was ready to burst with excitement. "I can't believe we made it this far into the jungle in one day! At this rate, we should get there in only three hours tomorrow." Alexander grunted as he set up his tent. Daring tilted her head at him. "I'm kind of surprised that you haven't asked why we're stopping when we're so close."

Alexander looked up from the last peg stomped into the dirt. "Hey, not my first time in a jungle. I almost learned the hard way that it isn't safe to move at night in places like this. Although, it's not even half as bad as that overgrown hellhole."

"Almost learned the hard way?"

"Yeah. Somebody beat me to the punch."

"What happened?"

"New Lieutenant, wanted to keep going after dark. Got eaten by a red plant flower with white-spots and teeth."

"Oohh..."

Alexander gave a wry smile. "Yup. Then it retracted into the ground, LT in, er, mouth. Heard the poor bastard screaming all night." Daring looked like she wanted to forget she heard that. "So, I've told you one of my stories. Now you tell me one of yours."

Daring frowned at him. "You haven't read my books?"

"Your what?"

"My books. Every time I find a new artifact, I write a slightly fictionalized account and send it off to a publisher to distribute it. Almost all of my adventures are in book form." Daring looked down at her hooves with a sigh. "All except for my adventures with my sister."

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah, look nothing alike though."

"Why isn't she with you now?"

"It was our last adventure together." Daring picked up a stick in her hoof and began to draw in the dirt of the clearing. "We were exploring a temple complex to the north of Marexico City. It had taken us forever to find it. The clues leading to the lost city of Alpaca-poco were very vague. Well, to me anyways. Ditzy always was better at the whole puzzle thing than I was. Anyways, we were searching the lost city for an obsidian dagger rumored to have dark properties. After searching for days and bypassing countless booby-traps, we finally came to the inner sanctum of the Temple of the Moon. The obsidian dagger was almost in our grasp. But then he showed up.

"Ahuizotl. The bane of my existence. That bastard followed us into the temple and let us spring all of the traps and lead him straight to the dagger. Just before I could lay a hoof on the dagger, one of his thugs bashed Ditzy on the head with a rock. That monster just started laughing and took the dagger when I went to help my sis. He said that I could follow him and try to get the dagger, or I could save my sister. I chose Ditzy.

"Ditz was never quite the same after that. The blow to her head messed up her eyes. But that wasn't the worst. Ditzy had never been very good with directions, but that rock just completely screwed up her internal compass. Her eyes didn't help any. She was in a coma for a month before she woke up. Fortunately, she was still the same Ditzy as before. Ahuizotl couldn't take that from her. Ditzy retired from exploration after that. Last I heard, she met a nice earth pony stallion, had a kid, and moved to a nice little town where she got a job as mailmare."

"That town wouldn't happen to be Ponyville, would it?"

"Umm...yeah, I think it was."

"I think I know your sister. She keeps bringing me muffins after she ran me over my first day there."

Daring giggled. "Yeah, that's her, she never was good at landings. Still, Ditzy's the reason I started writing. I felt responsible for getting her hurt, so, I've been sending her half of the proceeds from the book sales. But it just doesn't feel enough."

"I...know what you mean."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Alexander looked up at the stars barely visible through the canopy above. "Let's just say...I had to save my brother from himself." Alexander stood with a grunt and went to his tent. "I'll take the second and third shifts. Never did need much sleep. 'Night."

"'Night."

Neither human nor pony noticed the pair of yellow eyes watching from the brush.

Alexander slashed the last vines out of the way to behold the ancient ruins that had brought him to this bug-infested jungle. Daring squeezed by the human. "Yup. we're here."

Alexander examined the large stone with that accursed symbol standing before the entrance. "It's almost like it's a...warning not to enter." Daring swallowed as she stared deep into the dark depths of the temple.

"Legend has it that a golem guards this temple. But, I've never heard of a golem lasting that long."

"Golem?" Alexander cycled between thermals and night vision in an attempt to pierce the darkness, but to no avail.

"A golem is a magical construct that was once used to conduct heavy duty or dangerous tasks. Unfortunately, the art of making golems has been lost to the point that only a very few artisans know how to properly make one that lasts."

"I see." That sounded a lot like a servitor in nature. Interesting. Alexander pondered the darkness briefly, before striding purposefully into the darkness.

Daring, not wanting to be outdone, raced after him. "Hey, wait up!"

Daring Do caught up with Alexander as he came to a halt in a very large room. She looked up at what Alexander was staring at. "That's...a very big golem."

"That isn't a golem...that's a dreadnought." Indeed, standing majestically on a stone dais before the pair was a hulking dreadnought, one of the walking tombs of a fallen Space Marine. However, this dreadnought was different from every other dreadnought Alexander had seen before. Instead of the boxy walking bunker the sentinel was accustomed to, this dreadnought was more humanoid in form and appearance, like it was a massive suit of armor for a fallen warrior. A millennium's worth of grime and dirt prevented Alexander from identifying any chapter markings.

Daring Do looked back and forth between human and dreadnought, confusion written on her features. "A what?"

A slow clapping stopped Alexander from answering. He spun around, sword drawn. Standing before the pair was a dark-blue furred thing that looked to be the bastard son of a monkey and a dog. Daring stepped forward with a snarl. "Ahuizotl."

The dog-monkey acknowledged the irate black-maned pegasus. "Once again, what was yours is now mine." Several large cats and pony mercenaries sidled up behind the mutant, armed with clubs and crossbows. "I should be able to get quite the price for a golem of this size, even if it no longer is functional."

Alexander held his sword before him. "I'm afraid that this belongs to me. You want it, you'll have to go through me."

Ahuizotl smiled cruelly. "Very well. Mauler, if you don't mind." A large tiger the size of a minotaur stepped forth with a cackle. "With pleasure, boss."

With a roar, the big cat charged on two legs at the human. Planting his feet, Alexander tensed his legs, coiling like a spring. The tiger bore down at him. At the last second, Alexander leapt into the air, flipping over the swiping claws and landing on the tiger's back. Stiffening his bionic fingers into a flat spade shape, Alexander stabbed into the beast's back and pulled. The tiger yowled in unholy pain before collapsing bonelessly underneath the human. Tossing aside the gory length of spine, Alexander faced the dumbstruck dog-monkey and his remaining minions. "Alright. Who's next?"

Ahuizotl shook with rage. "Kill them both!" At the mutant's command, the remaining cats and mercenaries opened up with a volley of crossbow bolts and magic. Alexander intercepted a charging lion with his sword, dropping the lifeless feline to the ground minus a head before ducking behind a fallen column. Sheathing his sword, Alexander reached over his shoulder and pulled out a hellgun. Bracing the souped-up lasgun on the column, Alexander sent a spray of laser-fire into the attackers. Alarmed at the sudden and spectacular display of unfamiliar gunfire, the mercenaries scattered, taking cover themselves, but not before several more fell to Alexander's accurate gunfire.

However well armed Alexander was though, Ahuizotl's forces held the numerical advantage. Alexander snarled in pain as a well aimed bolt sank into his right shoulder through a gap in his armor. The shooter didn't have time to celebrate though, as a well-aimed rock bucked by Daring splattered his brains across the mossy floor. Turning to thank Daring, the human saw a unicorn that had outflanked them. Time seemed to slow and speed up simultaneously as Alexander saw the unicorn aiming a spell into the back of Daring's head. Unthinking, Alexander shoved the pegasus aside, the bolt of destructive magics slamming into Alexander's helmet instead and ricocheting off to impact on the dormant dreadnought. Through the agonizing pain and ringing ears, Alexander vaguely heard Ahuizotl screaming at his goons not to damage the golem. He tried to stand and fire at the unicorn that had shot him through the nauseating dizziness, but a crossbow bolt thunked into the flesh of his thigh, sending him back to the ground. As the room spun drunkenly around him, Alexander heard Daring gasp in pain. Trying still to stand, Alexander managed to get to his hands and knees before a loud hum began to shake him to his core. He looked up.

The dreadnought's once dark eyes came to life with a crackle of energy, glowing red in the gloom of the temple. Ancient servomotors and hydraulics hissed to life as a booming artificial voice filled the cavernous room. Ahuizotl and his thugs gaped in horror as the dreadnought stepped off its pedestal with a resounding thud. The dreadnought lifted its left arm, twin six-barreled assault cannons cycling up. The dreadnought played its arm across the room.

BZRRRRRRRRRRRRRT

A wall of lead obliterated half of the remaining mercenaries as Alexander checked on the unconscious Daring Do. A crossbow bolt was lodged just below her cutie mark, blood oozing from the wound. A burn on her pith helmet showed that a spell similar to the one that had hit him had knocked her out. Satisfied that she wasn't going to die, Alexander yanked out the bolt and dressed her wound before attending to himself. Grimacing in pain, Alexander pulled out the bolts stuck in his leg and shoulder, the heads red with blood. Filling the wounds with medical foam, Alexander retrieved his hellgun and opened fire on the remaining mercenaries. Between the buzzing assault cannons and blitzing lasers, the mercenaries that didn't have the sense to flee lay dead on the ground within minutes. Daring Do began to regain consciousness as the hulking dreadnought lumbered over to stand before the human and pegasus.

Author's Note

Nickel Lionheart is a tribute and homage to Michael Clarke Duncan. May he rest in peace.

Storytime

The massive dreadnought stood before Alexander and Daring Do as the pair stared back up at it. For the longest time nobody spoke.

Alexander saluted the mechanical ancient. "Alexander Yeager, formally of His Imperial Majesty's Harlech 501st "Thunderbolts" grenadiers, now in the employ of Celestia and Luna of Equestria."

A deep rumbling shook the cavernous temple. Instinctively reaching for his gun, Alexander relaxed as he realized that the dreadnought's pilot was laughing. The giant paused, the mechanical hand of his right arm tapping the spot where a human's chin would be in contemplation. The dreadnought stomped away towards the exit. The rambling Space Marine squawked in surprise as he ran smack into a previously unseen black magical barrier. The machine gestured rudely at the stone holding the chaotic rune.

Alexander crossed his arms and glowered at the dreadnought. "Not until you tell who you are, how you got here, or why there's a chaos rune outside this temple."

The dreadnought chuckled, shaking the room once more.

Noticing his gob smacked expression, Daring poked Alexander in the shoulder. "Hey, Alex? What exactly does that mean?"

Swallowing, Alexander surreptitiously began to inch away from the amused Lurgen. "The Space Wolves' thirteenth company disappeared into the warp centuries ago. Among the rumors told are that they've either all fallen to chaos or to a curse in their gene-seed that causes a Space Wolf to become a feral beast."

If he was offended by Alexander's words, Lurgen didn't show it.

Daring spoke up before Alexander could, much to his annoyance. "What was that purpose?"

Lurgen's mechanical 'head' turned to regard the mustard yellow explorer.

Alexander picked his jaw up off the floor. "How can you not remember something that important?"

The dreadnought returned to indignantly poking the shimmering black forcefield.

Alexander hiked a thumb out the door. "You still haven't told us why there's a chaos rune on a rock out there."

Alexander nodded, and to his surprise, so did Daring Do. Then again, he probably shouldn't have been, considering she was a professor of history at Canterlot University. Lurgen nodded.

Daring gasped. "You mean, you're the Great Titan of legend?" The excited mare zipped exuberantly around the temple chamber, loop-de-looping and barrel-rolling in her joy. Coming to a halt with a surreal screech of rubber, she landed on Lurgen's head. "Pleaseohpleaseohplease tell me everything!"

Lurgen chuckled.

Daring giggled as Alexander threw up his hands in defeat and left the temple to destroy the rune. "Oh, those stuffy neighsayers at the University are going to freak! They didn't believe you existed, much less weren't a pony."

The forcefield died as Alexander cut the stone neatly in two with his powersword. Lurgen strode out of the temple, pegasus perched on his head like a hat. Lurgen strode over to the entrance way. Swinging out his hand, he smashed the column to pieces. With a crashing roar, the temple collapsed in a heap of rubble.

Alexander marched behind Lurgen, the ancient dreadnought walking through the brush and trees like they weren't even there. Daring sat on his head, listening to the Space Wolf's stories of a time that most had forgotten.

"Really? What happened?"

Alexander chuckled at that. Lurgen paused in his storytelling, turning to the Sentinel as he stomped through the jungle.

"Pardon?"

Daring nodded on Lurgen's head. "Yeah, we've shared our stories, now it's your turn."

Alexander shook his head in defeat. "Fine. Let's see, where to start."

"Ha ha, funny."

"I certainly thought so."

"Well, it started when I came flying out of a warp portal into a tree..." Alexander began to tell of his arrival. Daring whistled in admiration at the fight against the manticore. Lurgen boomed with laughter at Alexander's chase through Canterlot with a Carnifex at his heels, but quickly sobered at the fate of the human's comrade's souls.

"Yeah, but it turned out that not all of them died." He told of how two of his comrades had arrived on Equus two years before him as ponies, and of the besieging of Ponyville by smog and Smooze. Daring shuddered at the mention of the dark goo, while the ancient dreadnought seemed contemplative. When Alexander spoke of his mission to Foal Mountain, Daring was livid when the human spoke of the piss-yellow 'doktor' behind the atrocities.

"That bastard! I always knew he was bad news, but I never believed he would go that far!"

Alexander looked at Daring in suspicion. "You knew that piss-yellow bastard?"

Daring shook her head vehemently. "No. But I know of him. His name was Edward Richthoofen. Specialized in studying the equine body and the effects of outside influences. Creepy guy. Got kicked out of Canterlot University for unethical experimentation on ponies. I only met him once, but the way he leered at me, felt like he wanted to dissect me to see what made me tick. Turns out," Daring mused darkly. "I guess he did."

Alexander lopped off a gnarly tree limb blocking his path with his sword. "Well, he's dead now. I doubt he could have survived a building dropping on him and sub-zero temperatures without adequate protection. He'll only be hurting people in their nightmares now." Alexander stared into the thick foliage of the jungle. "Oh look, I think we made it to the river." Alexander pushed aside a frond, revealing the Neighvarra floating at anchor on the bank. He looked at the boat, at Lurgen's massive form, then back at the boat. Shit. Would the old tub be able to float with Lurgen aboard? "Um...I think we have a problem."

As it turned out, the Neighvarra was of tougher stuff than Alexander thought. Although the oaken deck groaned dangerously when it took the dreadnought's considerable weight, the boat was soon on its way down the river. A long silence was broken by Lurgen.

Alexander looked up. "How'd you know?" Alexander could have sworn he saw the optics of the dreadnought twinkle.

"Why do you care?"

Alexander stared at the reclining dreadnought before sighing. "Just one. Last fall, accidents just started happening around Ponyville, for no apparent reason. Limbers cut on transit wagons, sabotaged construction cranes, collapsing balconies, all these things started happening out of the blue. My comrades and I found evidence of sabotage. I sent word to Celestia and she sent me a squad of royal guards. Ponyville was having a rally to celebrate a local vigilante and we decided to use the event to flush out the saboteur. It worked. The saboteur blew up a local bakery and we caught him. Right before he killed himself, though, he said something...disturbing." Alexander rubbed his temples under his loosely worn helmet. "'The four horses shall ride again.' After two months of searching, we still haven't been able to find any references to these 'four horses.'"

Lurgen was still. Alexander thought that maybe the dreadnought had fallen asleep. He had begun to debate internally whether or not space marines even needed sleep when the dreadnought spoke.

"Wait. This realm? Our realm? What are you talking about?" Alexander stared at the Space Marine in confusion.

Alexander's head spun. "How is that possible?"

"But...How...?" Alexander tried to wrap his brain around what the ancient was telling him. If that was true, he'd never need fear being discovered by the Imperium, something that had haunted his dreams for months, but the implications that he'd never be able to see home again either was staggering. He opened his mouth to speak, but a metal finger wagging in his face interrupted him.

Lurgen held up a metal digit. Another finger rises. Lurgen's fingers closed into a fist, crushing a crate in his grip.

Alexander turned to look at the sea as the Neighvarra reached the ocean. Such power. How could one man, even one with such powerful allies as his, stand against such evil? The writings of a famous Inquisitor came to his mind. One may resist the touch of chaos, if one girds them self with the Armour of Contempt. Alexander swore that he would not rest until the last of the Horses' bloody minions had been found. But first, he needed to find a cargo ship back to Equestria, one that could take Lurgen's weight and mass.

Author's Note

Well, I am writing this from college now. First time away from home. Kinda nervous. I digress though. Updates to A Guardsman in Equestria may not be so regular anymore.

Also, thank to Nightmare_Strike for letting me use Lurgen. I may have tweaked him bit, and given him an upgrade, but the character belongs to him. Thank you.

Cupcakes and Daemons

Alexander finished writing his report to Celestia and tossed it to Cinis. With a colorful sneeze, the baby phoenix sent the scroll to the alicorn princess. Scratching the fiery bird's head, Alexander reclined in his chair, happy to be home. Home. After two months of sailing on a massive freighter, Alexander had finally gotten Lurgen back to Equestria. And not a moment too soon, either. Alexander thought he was going to go crazy being cooped up for so long. The first thing he had done upon arriving in Ponyville was pick up Cinis from Fluttershy. The second thing was to send Celestia his report. The third thing, actually, as he had gone to Sugarcube Corner first for a cupcake, but strangely, the bakery had been closed. At the time, he had shrugged it off as maybe Pinkie was sick while the Cakes were out of town visiting relatives, but now that he thought about it, he couldn't ever remember the bakery being closed, save for the reconstruction period following the Mare-Do-Well incident. Maybe he should go check up on Pinkie, make sure everything was okay while he waited for a reply from Celestia.

Alexander breathed in the spring air as he walked, winter having been 'wrapped up' while he was overseas. He passed Lurgen in the town square, the contemptor dreadnought deep in conversation with Mayor Mare and Twilight. A whirring buzz from behind gave Alexander ample warning to dodge a certain orange filly on a scooter pulling a wagon filled with caped foals.

"Hi Alex!"

"How'ya doin'?"

"Hi!"

Alexander chuckled as he watched the Cutie Mark Crusaders disappear over the hill in a cloud of dust. Smiling, he made his way to Sugarcube Corner. Looking into the darkened bakery, Alexander rapped on the door with his knuckles. When no one answered, Alexander shrugged and turned to return home. He froze as he heard a voice begging for help.

Help. Please.

Drawing his sword, Alexander spun and smashed the door to splinters with his bionic arm.

Five minutes earlier...

Rainbow Dash blinked at the harsh light piercing her throbbing headache. Groaning in agony, she looked up at the bare bulb hanging by a wire from the ceiling. She went to hold her aching skull, but her legs wouldn't move. Looking down, Rainbow saw that she was strapped to a vertical table. Panicking, Dash tried to buzz her wings, but found that they were stretched out to their fullest through slots in the table. Breathing deeply to calm herself, Dash tried to remember how she had got there.

She had met Pinkie in Sugarcube Corner on her day off from weather work to help the pink party pony get ahead with her baking while the Cakes took their newborn twins to meet their grandparents. Rainbow had just put eggs in a bowl when an overwhelming pain sent her crashing to the ground. Pinkie! Dash looked up, spotting the pink earth pony strapped to another table across the room, hanging limply in her restraints. "Pinkie!"

"Ah, gut, you are avake."

A unicorn the color of stale urine and wearing a stained and tattered labcoat trotted up next to Dash from the right. Rainbow recoiled in horror at the horrible scarring covering the left side of his face, half his mouth stretched permanently in a rictus grin. Gulping, Rainbow glared at the unicorn in what she hoped was a threatening way.

"I don't know who you are, but you better let us go now if you know what's good for you!"

The unicorn chuckled, the evil sound causing Rainbow's hackles to rise. "Oh, how rude off me. I am Doktor Edvard Von Richthoofen. And I am afraid I cannot let you go, fraulein." He trotted over to Pinkie and caressed her chin. "Pinkamena Diane Pie, zhe Element of Laughter. Possesses zhe unique ability to predict events before zhey occur and zhe apparent capabilities to bend zhe laws off phyzics." Richthoofen allowed Pinkie's unconscious head to loll against her barrel. He turned to the chromatic pegasus. "Und zen ve haff you, fraulein. Rainbow Dash, zhe only pony in living memory to successfully cause a sonic rainboom, und survive!" A mad light filled the unicorn's eye as he began to peruse a pile of instruments on a small table. Rainbow pulled against her restraints as she tried to get free.

"What do you want, you freak?"

The lack of emotion in Richthoofen's eyes froze Rainbow to the core. She had never seen such dead, flat eyes in her life. "I am going to see vhat makes you tick." The 'doktor' selected a scalpel and began to advance on the still unconscious Pinkie. Rainbow thrashed harder, straining at the restrains, spittle flying from her mouth as she yelled at the piss-colored unicorn. "LEAVE HER ALONE, YOU BASTARD!"

Richthoofen chuckled evilly. "Ah, yes, zhat loyalty zhat marks you as zhe Element of Loyalty. Vary vell zhen," Richthoofen set down the scalpel and selected a rusty hacksaw with his black aura. "I vill start vith you. Let's start vith your vings, shall ve?"

Rainbow's pupils dilated until they very barely visable pinpricks standing out in a sea of terrified white. "HELP! SOMEPONY! HELP!"

Richthoofen moved behind Rainbow, tsking at the screaming pegasus. "You can scream all you vant. Nopony vill hear you. I haff soundproofed zhis basement myself. Now, let us begin."

Hot spears of agony stabbed into Rainbow's back as the unicorn began his grisly work. Screaming as the pain increased, Rainbow gasped in pain as the agony dropped off to a dull throbbing. "Oh, Celestia." Tears sprung to Rainbow's eyes as she realized why the pain had stopped. Sobbing, Rainbow looked up at the glee-filled unicorn replacing the bloody hacksaw on the table. "Why?"

"Vhy not?"

As the 'doktor' selected a scalpel, Rainbow cried as she tried to keep hold of her wits and consciousness. She couldn't pass out, she wouldn't pass out. Every second she held out meant another moment Pinkie would be safe. She had to protect her friend the best she could. But, she didn't know if she could. Sobbing, she began to pray for help. Somepony, help. Please. A tear fell down Rainbow's cheek as Richthoofen held her head still in his black aura, the scalpel descending on her right eye.

With a crash, the basement door exploded into splinters as a cylinder bounced off the floor. A bright flash drowned out the world, a loud bang smashing through Rainbow's chest, pain exploding in her brain sending her to blissful unconsciousness.

Alexander entered Sugarcube Corner, rapier at the ready. Sheathing his sword, he drew his laspistol and cleared the ground floor. A sobbing drew him to the basement door. Punching the door to pieces, Alexander chucked a flashbang down into the basement, charging down the stairs on the heels of the concussive blast. Coming to a crouch at the bottom of the stairs, Alexander took in the ponies strapped to tables and sighted his gun on a familiar unicorn. The unicorn's eyes grew wide in recognition and hate.

"YOU!"

CRACK-hiss

A lasbolt blew Richthoofen's head to bloody bits as Alexander pulled the trigger. The headless body staggered back several steps before collapsing. Holstering his laspistol, Alexander drew his knife and cut the straps holding Pinkie Pie. Pinkie came to with a start, squeezing Alexander in a hug. "I was so scared."

"What happened?"

Pinkie sniffled. "I was waiting for Dashie. We were going to make cupcakes, and-and he came in. He tied me down here and did something to me. I got so sleepy. He turned into me...and-and went to meet Rainbow-" Pinkie gasped as she looked over Alexander's shoulder, her hair going flat and straight. "Dashie!"

Alexander turned around and gasped as he saw the mess that was Rainbow Dash, a scalpel hanging from her right eye and blood pooling on the ground behind her. Cutting her down, Alexander cursed when he saw the bleeding stumps that were her wings. Drawing his sword, he pressed the flat of the blade against the truncated limbs, the power field cauterizing the weeping wounds. Dash screamed in agony before passing out again. Cradling the maimed pegasus in his arms, Alexander looked up at Pinkie.

"Pinkie." Pinkie stared in horror at Dash's wounds, numb to everything else. "PINKIE!" Pinkie jumped in suprise, coming back to reality with a start. She tore her gaze away from Rainbow to stare at Alexander. "Pinkie, I need you to go get help. I'm going to do what I can to stabilize her, but she needs a doctor." Pinkie nodded, bolting up the stairs with a determined look.

Pulling out his medkit, Alexander began to dress Dash's wounds when an unnatural warping sounded behind him. Turning, he watched as black and red tendrils sprouted from the stump of Richthoofen's neck. Snarling as the tendrils began to weave themselves into a new head, Alexander drew his laspistol and sent several crimson beams screaming into the writhing body.

CRACK-hiss

CRACK-hiss

CRACK-hiss

Alexander cursed as the tendrils continued writhing despite the gaping holes in the staggering corpse. A massive group of tendrils erupted from the front leg, forming a grasping claw. Cursing as the claw tore at the ground as another mass sprouted from the other hoof, Alexander gently scooped up the unconscious Rainbow. "C'mon kid, I gotta get you outta here." Alexander climbed the stairs as the basement collapsed under the writhing mass of growing tentacles.

Alexander ran out the bakery with Dash bundled in his arms. Pinkie galloped up to him, dragging a stammering Twilight behind her. "I brought Twilight." Twilight gasped in horror at the state of her friend. Alexander kneeled before her before she could freeze up.

"Twilight, I need you to get Dash to the hospital immediately. Pinkie, go get Lurgen."

Pinkie's mane poofed up again despite herself. "There's a new pony in town?"

"Focus, Pinkie. Go get him. He's the big robot in town square." Pinkie saluted with a worried look at Rainbow before dashing off. Alexander drew his laspistol as Dash was taken by a magenta aura.

"What happened to her?"

"I'll explain later, but if you don't go now, I can't guarantee the same won't happen to you."

A smashing crack filled the air as a daemon of blood and shadow erupted from the roof of Sugarcube Corner, the bakery collapsing in a cloud of dust. An ear-splitting roar filled the air.

Behold zhe blessings of zhe God of Death.

Alexander drew his sword. "Go." As Twilight carried the comatose Rainbow to safety, Alexander gulped. Oh, sweet Emperor, he's bigger than last time. The towering draconic daemon looked down, a leering smirk cracking the unholy face. Oh frak. The daemon raised a clawed arm.

Zhis time, you die. Alexander jumped back, stumbling back as the claw crashed into the ground with a shaking thud. Before he could move, the claw snatched him up in a crushing grip. Alexander struggled to free himself, but with his arms pinned to his sides, all he could do was kick and squirm. The crushing grip tightened around Alexander. Groaning in pain, Alexander gritted his teeth as the daemon slowly began to crush him to death.

Beg. Beg for your life.

Alexander spit in the daemon's eye. "Go to hell."

After you. The crushing grip tightened. Alexander groaned as he felt his armor creak under the strain. Darkness began to creep into his vision, both synthetic and natural as the life was slowly squeezed out of him.

THWAM!

Alexander dropped to the ground, gasping for breath as Lurgen cold cocked the daemon. His assault cannon spun up to speed, unleashing a fusillade of slugs into the daemon. All too soon, however, the dreadnought ran out of ammo, his hoppers dry of millenia old ammunition. With an unintelligible scream, Lurgen charged into close quarters, his powerfist pummeling the staggering daemon. Retaliating, the daemon that was once Richthoofen slashed a clawed hand across the dreadnought's face.

Alexander scrambled to get away from the dueling titans. A shadow engulfed him, and he looked up. "OH SHIT!" Alexander barely managed to dodge the falling dreadnought as Lurgen crashed into the building behind him. Lurgen lurched to his feet, and again the ground shook as the titans clashed once more. Alexander got to his feet, only to be knocked down and trampled by a stampede of panicking ponies.

"Ow." Alexander stood with a groan. He looked up and saw Twilight approaching with Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. As they approached, Alexander saw that they wore their respective Elements of Harmony, with the exception of Twilight, who was wearing the Element of Loyalty around her neck in addition to the Element of Magic on her head. Alexander eyed the lavender mare sceptically. "Why do you have Dash's Element? And how do you have the Elements? Last I checked, the Elements were in a vault in Canterlot."

Twilight gasped to catch her breath. "Princess Celestia taught me a spell that lets me summon the Elements in an emergency. And if an Element's holder is unable to wield their Element, it reverts to the Element of Magic until the holder is able to wield it again."

Alexander and the Element wielders ducked as a chunk of masonry went flying by. "What do you plan to do?"

Twilight turned to Alexander, pain evident on her face. "For what he did to Rainbow? Turning him to stone is too good for him."

Alexander nodded. "Sounds good. I'm going to run interference. Blast him once you get an opening." Not waiting for a response, Alexander charged the daemon as it grappled with Lurgen, once again sending the dreadnought crashing to the ground. This time, Lurgen was unable to get up, his motive systems sparking from crippling damage. Lasbolts boiling into his back stopped the daemon in his tracks, distracting him from the destruction of the cursing Space Wolf dreadnought. Alexander ran, firing wildly over his shoulder as he lured the daemon into position. As Richthoofen stepped into view around a building, the Elements of Harmony glowed.

A powerful rainbow of energy slammed into the daemon. Alexander shut his eyes as the light overwhelmed his senses. Opening his eyes, he tried to blink away the spots that remained on his vision. The sentinel looked at the spot the daemon had been, trying to see through the rainbow smoke billowing away.

A tentacle of black and red whipped out of the smoke, slamming into the five ponies with bone-crushing force. A red haze started to fill Alexander's vision as he watched the daemon advance on the helpless ponies. He clenched his fists as he shook with rage. "No more." The Elements of Harmony began to pulse in sympathy with his anger. "No more!" The Elements flew away from their wielders to spin around Alexander. "NO MORE!" There was a bright flash of white.

The daemon that was Richthoofen lowered his arm in time to receive a fist to the face. Tumbling across the ground, the daemon crashed into the remains of Sugarcube Corner. He looked up to see what had hit him.

Before him stood a radiant being in armor of the purest white. Twice as tall as a normal human, the armored being carried a broadsword the size of a sapling. A double-headed eagle was embossed in gold on a shield bigger than a kitchen table on his left arm. On the two massive shoulder plates were set the Elements of Generosity and Kindness. On the knees of the armor were set the Elements of Honesty and Laughter. On the helmet was set the Element of Magic. On the chest, on wings of gold, was set the red lightning bolt of Loyalty. The eye pieces of the helmet glowed icy blue.

The daemon stood, crushing an oven beneath his clawed foot. You think a costume change vill scare me? Not even zhe Elements off Harmony could stop me. Die!

The white knight lazily swung the broadsword in an arc, settling into a crouch behind the solid defense of the massive shield. At the last moment, he burst forward, slamming the shield into the daemon's midrift. Stunned, Richthoofen staggered back. The white knight swung the broadsword in an upward slash, lopping off the daemon's arm. Shrieking in agony and rage, the daemon jumped back and waited for the arm to regrow. When nothing happened, he looked at the arm to find a smoking, melted stump. Hunched over, the daemon looked up in time to catch a backhanded shield to the face, spinning him around. The sword flicked out, cutting off a leg. The daemon shrieked as it tried to crawl away. The knight followed languidly behind.

"Not so fun being on the receiving end, is it daemon?"

The daemon crawled back, groveling as it tried to escape. Please, haff mercy.

The blue-eyed knight swung the sword back. "Suffer not the daemon to live." The sword stabbed into Richthoofen's malformed skull. Mouth twisted in a silent scream, the daemon began dissolving. Alexander collapsed to one knee as the Element's magics dissipated, the gems returning to their original forms. Alexander shook his head as he leaned on the hilt of his rapier. "Whoa. What a rush. Agh." Alexander looked at the blood on his hand. He looked down at the dissolving claw lodged in his stomach. "Oh..." He collapsed as the world went black.

Author's Note

...I swear, I got chills writing this chapter...yeee...I did not enjoy going cupcakes on RD at all. Don't worry, every thing will be okay.

A Wing and a Prayer

Pain. The entire world was pain.

"Give me 50cc's of morphine..."

...beep...beep...beep...beep...

<Blood pressure dropping...>

...beep...beep...beep..beep...

"Oh horseapples, he's regaining consciousness"

...beep..beepbeepbeep...

"Heart rate spiking, he's bleeding out!"

...beepbeepbeepbeep...

"We're losing him! We need to get him back under!"

...beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeebee...

"Recast that anesthetic spell!"

...beebeebeebeebeebeebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

"I've got no pulse! Get a a crash cart..."

...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

The pain bled away to black nothingness

+It is not yet your time, brother. Sleep. Dream. Let your body heal as your mind sleeps. Be mindful of the past, but look to the future. When the time comes, do not shun the black armored one with wings of red. Listen to him, and your way shall be clear.+

...your way shall be clear+

Alexander opened his eyes, the memory of the strange voice in his sleep already faded beyond the tenuous grasp of his mind. He looked around the blindingly white sanitary room he found himself in. He looked to his right, finding the source of a constant beeping filling the room. He lifted his right arm to his face, noting the IV line trailing from his bare arm to a drip bag on a metal stand.

Wait, bare?

Alexander shot upright, collapsing back as his stomach exploded into fiery agony. Grimacing, he looked down at the white bandages covering his abdomen, the blanket covering him up to his chest having fallen into his lap with his inadvisable upright movement. Using his bionic, Alexander pulled up the edge of the bandages. He looked at the horrifying scar puckering his skin, grimacing again as he replaced the bandage. He looked at his left arm, the one he usually concealed with a leather glove and long-sleeved fatigues. Well, Iron Cog certainly would have taken care of that explanation for him, now that that proverbial Gyrinx was out of the bag.

The door to the room opened, admitting Nurse Redheart as she entered the room. The white earth pony smiled as she trotted to stand at the base of Alexander's bed. "You gave us quite the scare the other day. I'm glad to see you're doing better."

"How long was I out?" Alexander had tried checking the chronometer present in his left eye's HUD, but unfortunately, the clock had froze the moment he had been enveloped by the light of the Elements of Harmony.

"About a week." Nurse Redheart checked Alexander's chart. "You were very lucky, among all of the casualties brought in from the attack, you and Ms. Dash were the worst off."

Rainbow. "How is she."

The way Redheart looked away spoke volumes. "We stabilized her in a magically induced coma, but...she'll never fly again."

Alexander closed his eyes and leaned back.

"I want to see her."

Alexander looked through the glass at the crying pegasus lying on the bed. He turned to Redheart. "I thought you said she was in a coma?"

"She was. She woke up." The pink-maned nurse looked at Alexander with concern. "You really shouldn't be up and about yet. You suffered from several broken ribs, multiple lacerations and contusions, and a concussion, not to mention the fact that you suffered a punctured liver, a lacerated spleen, shredded bowels and a torn stomach wall, as well as the loss of a significant amount of blood and a near-death experience." Alexander ignored her, pulling the wheeled IV stand behind him to the door. "Where are you going now?"

"I'm going to talk to her."

"B-b-but...you can't just-" The door closed behind Alexander, cutting off the nurse's stammered protests. He quietly sat to the left of the hospital bed, his right side presented to Rainbow's back. Rainbow lay there, sobbing quietly.

"Go away."

Alexander reclined in his chair, wincing as the movement stretched the stitches in his stomach. "No." Rainbow didn't respond, the bandaged stumps on her back shaking in sympathy with her tears. "You're lucky to be alive."

Rainbow sat upright, a hoof snapping out to slap Alexander across the face. Her good eye, the other covered with gauze, was wet with tears. "How can you say that? I lost my wings! My eye! I'll never fly again! I'm going to lose my job, my home! My dreams, gone! I'll never be a Wonderbolt, not now! You don't know what I'm going through! No one does!"

Alexander fiddled with his left arm for a moment, the limb hidden from Rainbow's view. "Well now, I wouldn't say that." There was a pneumatic hiss. Rainbow's eye grew as wide as a dinner plate when the human placed his left arm next to her, his left eye expelling a hair-thin beam of light as he turned to face her. She stared at the metal-covered stump hanging from Alexander's shoulder.

"H-how-?"

"The miracle of technology." Alexander picked up his arm and shoved it back into place, face scrunching up at the sharp jolt of artificial and natural nerves connecting. "Bionics allow one to replace lost limbs and organs. Marvelous, isn't it?"

The look of hope on Rainbow's face died as suddenly as it had appeared. She closed her eye and slumped forward, head down. "It won't work. A pegasus' wing is the way our magic flows to let us fly. Without magic, our wings aren't big enough for us to create enough lift to fly." She saw Alexander's incredulous look.

"I must say, I didn't take you to be the scientific type."

"I'm not an egghead." Rainbow shook her head. "Twilight explained that to me once. But even if those bionics could let me fly, without being able to feel the air on my feathers, I wouldn't be able to react to changes in the air. It would be like trying to dodge invisible rocks that you didn't know were coming while blindfolded. I'd never be able to do more than use them to jump."

Alexander held his left hand before Rainbow and himself. After a moment's concentration, his hand glowed with a golden aura, Rainbow almost jumping out of her skin at the display. "H-how-?"

"Cog laced the endoskeleton with a...a...erm...what was that word he used? Bah, a magic conducting metal that would let me manipulate the mana around me. Right now, best I can do is turn an apple into applesauce. But, that would let you use your magic to fly, I should think."

Despite the wonder in her eye, Rainbow was still downcast. "It won't matter if I can't feel the wind."

Alexander bit his lip as he stole a glance at the door. "I-erm-I haven't told anyone this, but...erm...gah, I don't know how to say this." He closed his eyes. "Touch a finger."

Rainbow eyed Alexander incredulously. "What?"

"Just do it."

The cyan pegasus poked a finger. "Middle finger." She looked up, to find he was looking at the door behind him. She tried again. "Thumb." Her jaw hit the floor.

"How did you-?"

"Shortly after I first started using magic, my arm started to feel...cold. At first, I dismissed it as a phantom pain. Then I could swear that I could feel the textures of things this hand held. And then, it happened. While returning from my last mission, a wave rocked the ship as I was making a pot of recaff-er-coffee and my hand touched the pot. I pulled back from the pain, and then it hit me. It hurt. My left hand hurt. Because I had touched something hot. I had feeling in my hand again."

Awe and understanding filled Rainbow's eye as she considered what Alexander had said. Say what you wanted about the weather mare, despite the fact that she had little patience for things she considered boring or for 'eggheads,' a sharp,quick mind resided between her ears. When she stopped to think, she could be quite brilliant. Rainbow stopping to think, however, was an occurrence rarer than an ork taking a bath. Thus, her jumping to conclusions led many to believe that Rainbow Dash was not the swiftest of ponies, ironically enough. This was one of those rare times Dash stopped to think, not really able to do much anything else. As such, with nothing to distract her, Rainbow quickly came to a conclusion.

"I-I'll be able to fly again."

Alexander tapped his nose with a metal finger and a small smile. Rainbow beamed with giddy happiness, before a frown furrowed her brows. "Aw man, what am I supposed to do now?"

Alexander noticed the book on the bedstand. He gave a small chuckle when he saw who was on the cover. Well, Doctor, think you can help my friend out? Alexander gestured to the book. "Well, you could always try reading." The pain in his ribs from laughing at the look on Rainbow's face nearly sent Alexander to the floor as he beat a retreat to his room.

Alexander entered Rainbow's room, raising an eyebrow at the sudden panicked thrashing the pegasus was doing. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, fine, just fine."

"Okay." Alexander's gaze caught the corner of a book peeking out from under her pillow. The absence of a book on the nightstand told him just which book was hidden there. So, Dr. Do's books have ensnared another fan. To tell the truth, Alexander couldn't blame her. His copy, an autographed gift from the author herself, had enraptured him like no book before. He had stayed up all night reading it, and he hadn't even realized it, so engrossed with the story that all track of time was lost. The only times he had put down the book was to eat, use the toilet, and say hello to Cog, Syrette and the girls when they came to visit him. He had been very glad to see that the worst injury they had received were a few broken bones and a couple of black eyes. Twilight had promised to find out what she could about what the Elements of Harmony did before she left, too.

Alexander nodded at the pegasus' back. "I see the implants took." Rainbow nodded, flaring her new bionics, right eye flashing briefly. Alexander ran an eye over the blue plasteel limbs with their flexible carbon-fiber feathers. "How is it?"

Rainbow furled and unfurled her wings several times before responding. "It's...strange. I can feel something, but at the same time, I can't. If you hadn't told me about your hand, I don't think I would have noticed." A scared look flashed across her face, but of course, had Alexander chosen to say something, she would deny it. "I may never have flown again."

Alexander gave a smile. "Yeah, well, it's time to learn to fly again." Dash gave him a questioning look. "You've been discharged from the hospital." Rainbow began to sputter and stammer.

"But-but shouldn't I stay here for a while longer? You know, to make sure the implants aren't, um...rejected?"

Alexander leveled a stern look at the cyan cyberpony. "If your body was going to reject the implants, it would have done so already. Now c'mon, do you want to fly again for the first time in weeks or not?" Rainbow nodded and followed Alexander out of the room. Alexander grinned behind her as he noticed the pegasus stealing glances at the book under the pillow. Gotcha.

Some time later, Alexander stood before Dash in the field behind the Golden Oaks Library. "So, why are you teaching me to fly, again?"

Alexander looked up at the pegasus. "Because Cog is out of town, and Syrette's on a date. And technically, I'm not teaching you how to fly. I'm teaching you how to use your bionics. Now, ignore your bionics, and glide down here."

"How am I supposed to glide if I ignore my wings?"

"Before that asshole chopped 'em off, did you ever think about your wings while you were flying?"

"Well...no."

"So, jump down off Tom and don't think about your wings."

Complying, Rainbow jumped off the boulder and glided down to Alexander. When she was half-way down, Alexander barked out a command. "Now fly!" Startled, Rainbow started pumping her wings, but she started thinking about pumping her wings, and ended up faceplanting at Alexander's feet. "Do it again."

By the end of the day, Rainbow's frustration was at a bursting point. Despite hours of leaping off of Tom, the best she could manage was a glide. For someone as obsessed with speed and flying, it was galling. She just wanted to get this over with so that she could sneak into Ponyville General and ah...borrow 'Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone.' She just had to find out if Daring Do was going to escape the death trap. Sure, she could ask for the book, but she didn't dare risk being seen as an egghead. Especially not around Alexander. The guy had saved her life, for crying out loud. She didn't want him to think she was soft. Alexander interrupted her train of thought.

"Alright, time to call it a day."

"Ugh, finally." Rainbow stretched stiffly, then started trotting off to Emperor or Celestia knew where. Alexander caught her attention with a sharp whistle.

"So, how exactly are you going to get into your house without flying?"

"Well, the CMC does have a catapult. I figured I could just borrow it for a while."

"That all you're gonna borrow?"

Rainbow froze. He knew. How did he know? No, he couldn't know, she was being so careful, too. She tried bluffing. "Y-yeah."

Alexander shrugged, outwardly neutral, but grinning ear to ear on the inside. Gotcha. "Okay." Alexander watched the cyberpony trot away. He shook his head with a grin as he walked home himself. Arriving at his bunker-like home, he had just climbed into the observation tower when he heard a distant 'twangyeeeeaaaahwoohoo!' Looking out over Ponyville, Alexander saw a cyan blur arcing towards a house made of clouds. Pulling out a pair of magnoculars with a chuckle, Alexander sat and waited for sunset. And now, we wait.

Alexander didn't have to wait long after sunset for a black-clad shape to glide down from the cloud house. Grinning like an idiot, Alexander gripped one of the wires strung between the tower and the ground in his left hand and used it as a makeshift zipline. Rolling to a halt as he landed, Alexander walked calmly to the hospital. Hiding himself in the shadows by the entrance, he didn't have to wait long. He watched with his night vision as a certain black-clad cyberpony snuck up to the doors and started to pick the lock. "You know, there are easier ways to get a book." Rainbow jumped straight into the air in surprise, turning to face n amused Alexander.

"Book, what book, Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout!"

Alexander pulled out his copy of 'Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone.' "Oh, so you don't want to find out how this ends then? You should, it's quite good."

Rainbow's jaw hit the floor as she tried to comprehend what Alexander had just said. "Y-you read? But you're so cool! And reading is such an egghead sort of thing."

Alexander chuckled. "Rainbow, there is nothing wrong with being an 'egghead.' And yes, I read, quite avidly too. It was always a welcome distraction from the horrors of war. Your friends won't think any less of you for reading. Mine didn't. Here." Alexander tossed the book to Dash, who caught it in her hooves. "It's my personal copy. I'd like it back when you're done." Alexander turned and started to walk away. "And by the way, nice job flying." Rainbow looked down to find that when she had jumped in surprise, she hadn't come back down. The squee of happiness and excitement was enough to cause several sleepy ponies to wonder why the train was whistling so far away from any tracks. Alexander chuckled as he walked home. Walking by the library, however, he stopped as he saw a shape leave the tree. Looking closer, he saw just who the pony was. Looking at the pony, at the library door, then back at the pony, Alexander grinned cheekily as he realized the implications. "No way. Oh, this is gonna be good."

Author's Note

For those who aren't in the know, a Gyrinx is a large cat-like xenos that are often found in the company of Eldar psykers as familiars. They are also sometimes found in the company of Imperial Inquisitors, which is how Alexander may have know of them.

Poison Love

Alexander knocked at the door to the library, hoping Twilight had found something to explain the strange behavior of the Elements of Harmony on that day. As he waited for the lavender librarian to answer the door, Alexander turned to puzzle at the pink and white decorations covering the town. He could have sworn those weren't there the night before. Was there something going on, or...? The door opened behind him.

"Oh, hello Alexander, how are you today?"

Alexander answered as he began turning around. "Oh, fine, just came by to see...is that...make-up?"

Twilight's face was indeed covered in makeup, though only with some blush and mascara. In addition, Twilight was wearing a plane yet elegant dress that somehow made even the equine form somewhat attractive. Somewhat. Alexander may have accepted the ponies with few...qualms, but he didn't like ponies that way, much to Cloud Kicker's chagrin and disappointment. Still, for Twilight of all ponies to be wearing makeup... Twilight's face turned bright crimson through her blush. "Um, ah, yes, I have a date today. It's too much isn't it? Oh dear, he's not going to like it, is he? What if he hates it? He's gonna hate it! Agh!"

Alexander recoiled a bit from the crazed look beginning to creep into the unicorn's eyes, scrambling to put a stop to that crazy train. "Twilight, I'm sure whoever you have a date with won't care how you look. And if he does, well, then he ain't good enough for you. By the way, what's with all of the pink hearts all over the place?"

Twilight, though a bit frazzled, thankfully snapped out of her impending nervous breakdown. "Oh, today is Hearts and Hooves day. It is a day to be with your special somepony."

Alexander nodded. "Okay. Y'know, that kinda sounds like St. Valentina's day." Seriously, what's with all of the similar holidays here? And would it be too much to ask for a locale not named with a pony pun involved? Seriously, Alexander had a feeling that if Catacha had been populated by the ponies, it would have been called "Cantercha." A trio of colorful blurs bolted out of the library door and between Alexander's legs.

"Thanks for the book Twilight!"

"Wait, girls, are you sure you don't want a different-" The CMC jumped in their wagon and disappeared in a cloud of dust. "-book?" Twilight sighed and shook her head. "I really don't know why those girls wanted that book about Pre-Equestrian history."

Alexander shrugged. "Eh, I've never really understood girls, of any species."

Twilight gave Alexander a funny look, the same one one might get when told that necrons are in fact excellent conversationalists. "What do you mean, 'of any species?'"

"It's a long story."

"Well, I've got time before my date." Twilight opened the door and beckoned Alexander in. She sat and bade Alexander to sit. "So, tell me."

"Alright, it all started when the Harlech 501st was in a campaign against the Eldar..."

"...and that is why I am no longer allowed in the same room as an Adeptus Sororitas when there are noodles present." Twilight couldn't help but stare at Alexander in amazement and bafflement. Alexander chuckled at the gormless look on the unicorn's face. He was about to ask about the origins of Hearts and Hooves Day when someone knocked on the front door. Before Twilight could move, Alexander had bound out of his seat and thrown the door open. He grinned evilly down at the olive-green pony before him.

"Hello Syrette. Consorting with xenos are we?" Syrette's pupils dilated as he tried to stammer out a response. The cold, unforgiving expression on Alexander's face cracked into a cheeky grin. "Gotcha." Stepping around the bemused human-turned-pony, Alexander stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Now remember you two. Don't do anything unless you've got protection." Grinning uncontrollably at the sudden embarrassed blush on Syrettes face, Alexander nearly burst with laughter when he heard Twilight ask, "protection from what?"

Alexander continued to giggle throughout his patrol around the border of Ponyville and the Everfree Forest. He had just passed into the southwest orchards of Sweet Apple Acres when he thought he heard voices coming from deeper within the orchard. Drawing his laspistol, Alexander went to investigate. Following the voices, Alexander came across an absolutely adorable treehouse. Recognizing the three voices, Alexander holstered his laspistol with a wry smile. His smile turned to a frown as he overheard what they were saying.

"What have we done?! My brother's actin' like a grade-A goofball!"

"Maybe we added too much rainbow."

"Or maybe not enough cloud."

"Or maybe... uh-oh."

"Whaddaya mean, 'uh-oh?!'"

Alexander poked his head through a window. "Yes, what's gone wrong this time?" The three fillies that made up the Cutie Mark Crusaders shrieked in surprise. Once again, Alexander was grateful for the decibel-cutting insulation of his helmet.

"ALEX! Don't do that!"

"You dern near scared the lahf outta me."

"I-uh wasn't scared. And whadda ya mean, 'this time?'"

Alexander shook the ringing out of his ears and gave the trio an exasperated look. "Let's see. The first time I saw you, I had to save you three from a manticore, you've nearly burnt down the library, nearly been turned to stone, almost blew yourselves up when you wanted to play with my guns, one of you contracted a wiped-out disease because you ate the thing that caused it, and to top it all off, your attempt at making superglue exploded and covered Ponyville. I was stuck standing there for four hours. Everyone who went outside got glued in place. Heck, even Lurgen couldn't move, and he's a several ton war walker that could probably lift a train. If Twilight didn't know that unsticking spell, I'd still be stuck standing outside, having to pee." Alexander nodded at the sheepish crusaders' expressions. "Now, what's gone wrong this time?"

Scootaloo and Applebloom looked at each other, then at Sweetie Belle. The marshmallow colored unicorn hemmed and hawed before answering. "Um...we wanted to get BigMac and Miss Cheerilee together for Hearts and Hooves Day, 'cause neither had a special somepony, so we gave them a love potion, but it turns out it's more of a love...um...poison."

Alexander, Applebloom and Scootaloo responded the only way they could. "What?!"

Sweetie nodded before continuing. "Apparently, some prince a long time ago whipped up this recipe and gave it to this princess he liked. He meant it to be a love potion, but things didn't turn out so well."

Applebloom eyes were wide with concern for her beloved brother and teacher. "How 'not so well' did things turn out?"

Sweetie Belle cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Well, there's something here about a dragon, the kingdom falling, chaos reigning... Okay, apparently it was all because the prince and princess were so lost in each other's eyes that they couldn't perform their royal duties."

Alexander made a soft facepalm as he rubbed the brow of his nose. "Sweet Emperor, it's that stupid Slaneeshi cult on Mindoir all over again." He looked up as Applebloom began panicking. Time to nip that gretchin in the fungal pod. "Is there an antidote?"

Sweetie looked back into the book and began to flip pages for a few seconds. "Um, it says here that if we can keep them from looking in each other's eyes for an hour, the love curse will be broken."

Alexander rubbed his chin. "One hour? Shouldn't be too hard."

"Why in Vandire's cursed name did I think this would be easy?" Alexander pondered aloud as he lay spread-eagle on the ground. Scootaloo lifted her head up, herself and her friends likewise collapsed in exhaustion on the grass of the park.

"I dunno, but we gotta do something quick, 'cause if I hear one more sappy namby-pamby cutsie-talky name, I'm gonna scream."

As fate would have it, BigMac and Cheerilee trotted by lost in each other's eyes, the love curse still very much in effect. "I love you more, sugarbear."

"No, I love you more, pookie-wookie."

Alexander clasped his hands over his ears, Scootaloo's scream cracking windows halfway to Canterlot. He pulled off his helmet and wiggled his pinkie in one ear in a vain attempt to return the hearing to it.

"Maybe we're going about this all wrong."

Alexander looked at Sweetie Belle. "What would you suggest? We can't even get them to break eye contact. Nothing is working."

"Well BigMac and Miss Cheerilee are madly in love, right?"

"Yeah."

"And what do ponies who are madly in love do?"

Alexander looked blankly at the little unicorn. "Kid, I've been a soldier for most of my life. I have no idea what human civilians do, much less pony ones."

Sweetie looked to Applebloom and Scootaloo expectantly. The earth and pegasus ponies looked back blankly. "We don't know either."

Sweetie gave a sigh. "They get married."

Applebloom gave a shriek of dismay. "NOOOO! Mah brother can't get married! He's under a curse! That we put him under!"

Sweetie shook her head. "No, they're not really going to get married."

"They're not?"

"Not if they don't want to after we fix this. Okay, now here's the plan..."

Passing a goofy-grinned Syrette, Alexander slowly made his way up the stairs to his quarters. Standing at the foot of his bed, he collapsed face-first onto his sheets like a felled tree, not even bothering to get out of his freshly dented and dirtied armor and fatigues. Groaning into his pillow, Alexander felt every ache and pain that had come from the day.

How was it that BigMac had been able to drag an ox-cart, several trees, a building and Lurgen halfway across Ponyville? That pony's a monster! How in the warp was he able to out muscle a dreadnought? Thank the Emperor that it worked. I don't know if I could've done that any longer. Rolling over, Alexander groaned, his ribs bruised by being run over by BigMac followed shortly by being trampled by a gaggle of bouncing ponies being led by Pinkie Pie in a song about smiling. Not for the first time, Alexander wished that this place wasn't so...weird. This place...is going to be the death of me... Grumbling about crazy magic and crazier ponies, Alexander tossed his helmet across the room and promptly passed out.

On the hill road overlooking Ponyville, a massive figure atop two goats puffed out a chest. "This town needs to be toughened up! Perfect for Iron Will to make plenty of bits-erm, help these weaklings! Forward! We begin by week's end!"

Author's Note

sorry for the wait, but school takes priority. Next chapter, Flutters goes bonkers...

Announcement - Still Alive

Hello my little bronies! Yes, I am still alive (insert Portal song here). I do sincerely apologize for disappearing, but, life, you know? Also...college has been taking a bit longer than anticipated. That said, I do hope to continue this story at some point, but any updates are unlikely to come before graduation (It took seven years, but by Celestia I am finally graduating.)

Love you all, and thanks for your patience.

Arrival

The Everfree Forest

The tranquility of the day was broken as the air tore itself open with an unearthly rending. A dark miasma seeped from the hole in reality as physics tried to reassert itself, a low spine-chilling hiss seemingly emanating from it.

The rend began to pulse, slowly at first before increasing in frequency. As the oscillations reached a crescendo, an unholy light spilled forth into Equestria. With one final flash, the portal spat out an armored figure as it collapsed with a crack of displaced air.

"Ow."

Guardsman Alexander sat up, the whole front of his body sore from impacting with the tree behind him. Groaning, he rested his helmeted head in his hands, wondering for a moment where he was, and how he had gotten there. He inhaled sharply as his mind caught up with him. He remembered the gellar fields on his troopship collapsing, the screams of men and women as they were torn asunder from the inside as the warp surged into the ship. Only the fact that he had been in the armory doing inventory saved his life when the armory void-shields went up. In fact the last thing he remembered before waking up was arming himself before everything...exploded.

"Oh God-Emperor, they're all dead." Alexander felt...numb, unable to fully comprehend the fate that had befallen his comrades.

After an indeterminate amount of time had passed, Alexander took stock of his surroundings and inventory. He appeared to be in a small forest clearing, a baby-blue sky above. The carapace armor he managed to pull on before he...ended up here (wherever here is) was a little too big for him. Several of the plates hung loosely, and continued to do so even after several minutes of struggling with the straps. Giving up on the armor, Alexander looked to his weapons. He had only three frag grenades; his laspistol pack had only half a charge left, and only one of the four spares was charged; the decrepit flamer he had grabbed from a repair bench was bone dry; and the chainsword looked ready to fall apart at a moment's notice. The only positive Alexander could come up with was that at least the duffel he had grabbed-almost as an afterthought-had plenty of spare parts for his equiptment.

As Alexander began to contemplate the lack of water in his canteen when he tried to take a drink, despair overtook him. "I'm going to die here." He sniffled.

Alexander shook himself. "No, I am not giving up." He swore. Gathering his gear, Alexander stood, and after a moment's hesitation began trekking in the direction he thought to be North. He only made it about a yard when a child's terrified scream shattered the silence of the forest.

As the terrified screams continued, Alexander ran full tilt through the brush trying to find the source of the commotion. He ground to a halt as he arrived at a small grotto to behold a leonine monster with leathery wings and a poisonous tail menacing a trio of small...ponies?

"Somepony, anypony, HELP!"

A cold fury fury engulfed Alexander, any confusion as to what was in front of him delegated to the back of his mind as he drew his laspistol and chainsword.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders had been trotting through the Everfree Forest in an attempt to get their "forest explorers cutie-mark."

"Ah don't think we should be in here," exclaimed the red-maned earth pony. "Ah promised ma sister that Ah wouldn't go inta th' Everfree Forest without an adult."

"Lighten up, Applebloom," replied the orange pegasus filly. "We'll be fine, right Sweetie Belle?" She asked the purple-pink maned white unicorn filly next to her.

"Right Scoots, not like we'll run into anything scary at this time of day-" Sweetie Belle swallowed her words as a very large and hungry leonine form landed with a snarl in front of them.

The adventurous trio shrieked in terror and tried to run before realizing that they were trapped between the Manticore and a small cliff. As the beast stalked towards them, Scootaloo screamed for help.

"Somepony, anypony, HELP!"

A sharp CRACK-hiss reverberated through the forest grotto as a beam of angry red light burnt away a hoof-sized hole in the manticore's hide. Following the beam back to its origin, the three terrified fillies watched in amazement as a olive green, two-armed bipedal insect-like creature with huge, pupil-less shiny black eyes emerged from the forest at the edge of the grotto. As the manticore turned on the newcomer in rage and pain, the strange alien looked directly at the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Run!"

Alexander watched as the three fillies ran from the grotto. The manticore gave no heed to the escaping ponies as it focused its rage at the Guardsman. It would maim this thing and devour it alive.

Revving his chainsword, Alexander snarled behind his rebreather. "Let's see how you do against a target that can fight back."

With a earth-shaking roar, the manticore pounced.

In the large tree in the center of Ponyville that housed the town library, Twilight Sparkle was searching for a book on Equestrian history while her friend Rainbow Dash hovered nearby with a look of supreme boredom when they heard the front door being pounded on frantically. Twilight opened the door, spilling three fillies onto the floor. "Hey girls, what's wrong?" Inquired the curious unicorn, as Rainbow Dash looked on.

"Wewereintheahdidntwanttoforestwewereattckedmanticoresavedneedshelpqui-"

Twilight held out a hoof. "Hold it, one at a time." She looked at the peach filly. "Applebloom, what happened?"

"We were in the Everfree tryin' ta get our Cutie-marks when we was attacked by a manticore!" yelled the filly.

"It was going to get us at a grotto, but somepony started fighting it!" Scootaloo continued.

"He needs help!" Sweetie Belle panted.

Twilight ran out the door, followed by a cyan and rainbow blur that yelled out instructions to the three exhausted Crusaders. "Stay here!"

A few minutes later, Twilight and Dash found the grotto, and could only look on in shock at the battle that was raging in the clearing. The manticore was dueling with a bipedal creature that had what seemed to be an olive exoskeleton. It was armed with a blocky looking sword of the same olive coloring that did not look like it could cut anything, much less harm something as formidable as a manticore.

As the manticore struck with its tail, the creature dodging the appendage and swinging its sword. As the sword swung down, it emitted a piercing screech, removing the tail from the leonine monster. Roaring, more in rage than in pain, the manticore smashed a paw into the biped, sending it crashing into a tree.

Alexander gasped in pain as he felt his left forearm scream, most definitely broken. His breathing hurt, too, probably a broken rib. How he had survived this long against the beast was a mystery, one that he did not have time to ponder. Alexander knew he had to end it soon, or he'd be cat-chow. Staggering to his feet, he held the chainsword in his good hand as he prepped a grenade with the other.

Sensing that its prey was weakened, the manticore lunged at the creature that dared to fight it. Alexander dodged, barely, and as he did so, he shoved something into the creatures' mouth before the manticore could turn around to attack again. Before it could do anything however, the manticore's head burst as the grenade it had just eaten exploded, the explosion throwing the battered Guardsman into another tree.

Oh, definitely a broken rib now...

Groaning, Alexander shakily stood up and staggered over to the steaming corpse. Giggling euphorically, he looked down at the body. "Yer toast ish burnt," he slurred. "And no amoun' a scrapin'..will remove..the...bla..ck..parts."

As Alexander lost consciousness, he felt decidedly weightless, not noticing the magenta haze surrounding his beaten body.

Parties and Confessions

Alexander made his way back to the Library...that was in a tree. Still, it wasn't the strangest thing he had seen today. That cake was taken by a certain pink...can I really think of that thing as a pony? Some of the things Alexander had seen Pinkie Pie do made his head hurt, and something told him that he'd only seen the toe of the titan. Grimacing, Alexander took off his helmet to rub his face.

How have I not lost it yet? I'm surrounded by pastel ponies. All those bright colors make my eyes hurt. Sure they're nice enough, but still.

Clipping his helmet to his belt, Alexander massaged his temples, trying to ward off the headache he felt building. Why I ended up here, I'll never know. It's like a bad dream. He sighed. Still, I'm glad I didn't go batshit crazy on these xenos. They don't seem violent, but considering every unicorn seems to be a psyker...

Alexander let that thought trail away with a sigh. Good thing I've always had a soft spot for animals. He looked around, frowning as he realized there were no ponies in sight, not even any sneaking peeks at him from hiding. Where is every...

"Look out!"

Alexander was bowled over as a grey blur crashed into the back of his head. Groaning, Alexander sat up and clutched his head. "Ugh, anybody get the number of that Baneblade?"

"Ohmygoshohmygosh, I am so sorry, are you alright?"

Alexander looked up at the wall-eyed grey pegasus standing on his chest. "Oh, that hurt. You really need to look where you're going," Alexander mumbled, head hurting too much to be angry. He frowned. "Can you please get offa me?"

"Sorry, sorry."

Alexander brushed himself off and stood up, glaring at the pegasus hovering next to him. "Alright, who are you and why'd you run me over?"

"I'm Ditzy Doo. I'm sorry about running into you, it happens to me a lot." Ditzy waved a hoof in front of her uncooperative eyes. "Very poor depth perception." She gasped. "Are you the human everypony's talking about?"

"Yes, I'm Alexander," Alexander replied, introducing himself. "Where were you off to in such a hurry?"

Ditzy gasped. "Oh no, I'm going to be late!"

Alexander watched as Ditzy flew down the street, crashing into several lampposts and mailboxes until she disappeared around the corner. The mare's name certainly fit.

Alexander sighed. "I am so very tired." Overwhelmed by the day's events, Alexander resumed trudging back to Twilight's library, not knowing where else to go. Hopefully the purple unicorn would know of a place he could stay.

The sun was starting to set as Alexander finally arrived at the library. He swore as he noticed that the lights were all out. Shit, she must already be in bed or something. Alexander sighed. Ah, well, it wasn't like he hadn't slept under the stars before. At least the weather was nice here, not like that frozen hellhole he'd seen his first combat on. Shaking his head, Alexander turned away to find somewhere to eat some rations and sleep.

As he did so, Alexander noticed that the front door was ajar. That could not be good. Worried that something had happened to Twilight, he crept along the wall...trunk?...of the library till he reached the door. Sliding his laspistol out of its holster, Alexander flipped of the safety, aiming the gun down as he reached out to nudge the door open with his left hand. He entered the darkened room.

BANG!

Alexander dived back through the open doorway, taking cover from the follow-up attack...that never came. Looking up, Alexander stared incredulously at the colored paper settling on the ground. Is that...? Confetti? Sitting upright, Alexander slowly poked his head around the doorjam.

"SURPRISE!"

Alexander was struck dumb at the scene that greeted his eyes. The library was filled to bursting with ponies of every color. Streamers decorated the ceilings and bookcases, complementing the floating balloons tethered to various tables filled with snacks, treats, and beverages. Everypony there was cheering. And there, standing -no, make that bouncing- in the foreground was the pink bundle of impossibilities that was Pinkie Pie. A pink (pink?), old-fashioned cannon stood next to her, smoking barrel pointed at the opened door. Above the cannon hung a banner with "~~Happy Birthday~~ Welcome to Ponyville!" written in gold block letters.

Alexander stood slack-jawed in the doorway, laspistol dangling forgotten in his fingers. "Y-you...threw me..a...party?" He shook his head, unable to contemplate why anybody would throw him a party, of all things. "Why?"

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Because silly-billy, I throw parties for everypony new to Ponyville. Aaaaand," Pinkie sucked in a huge breath of air. Alexander frowned at her as the pink pony started vibrating like an overloading lasgun pack.

Several seconds passed before Alexander ventured a question. "And?" he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A HERO!" Alexander was practically bowled over by the force of Pinkie Pie's response. "You saved the Cutie Mark Crusaders from a meanie manticore!"

Alexander blushed in embarrassment. "But, I just did what...I couldn't just..." Alexander stammered incoherently. Why in the warp was he so...flustered? For that matter, why did he care? According to the administratum, he shouldn't be caring for these xenos. But...he did, and Alexander didn't understand why. Why did this place feel so much like...home?

Pinkie Pie grabbed Alexander's hand with her hoof and pulled the bemused human into the party. Almost immediately Alexander was mobbed by appreciative and curious ponies. Overwhelmed, Alexander sat in a chair, head reeling. He sat trying to make sense of everything, the party thrown for him a blur.

Excusing himself, Alexander made him way out onto a balcony overlooking Ponyville. He looked up at the night sky, suddenly filled with sadness. Everyone he knew was likely dead. Hell, he might even be dead. It wouldn't explain the ponies, though. Alexander sat down with his head bowed, his thoughts filled with sorrow as his mind wandered.

A small "eep!" brought him out of his stupor. Looking up, Alexander found himself looking into the eyes of a pink-maned yellow pegasus.

Fluttershy had come to the library with Twilight after inventorying the animal feed for all of Fluttershy's animal friends and had ended up staying for the party. After a while, though, it had become too much for her, so she climbed up to the balcony overlooking Ponyville. She had just begun to relax when a soft sigh startled her. Eep-ing, she turned to see the human called Alexander sitting against the bark of the tree as he looked up into her eyes. He turned away, returning to his thoughts.

Fluttershy wondered what could make someone so sad, until she remembered what Twilight had told her about this visitor, that he was far from home. She swallowed meekly. "Do you miss your home?"

Alexander looked up, surprised that the excruciatingly shy pony was talking to him. He pondered what to say, before shaking his head. "Not really. My home was destroyed long ago, and people generally avoided me."

"But why...didn't you have any friends?"

"I had a few," Alexander replied slowly. "But most people thought that I was cursed."

Fluttershy squeaked. "C-c-cursed?"

Alexander chuckled humorlessly. "I've come out of several campaigns where I alone survived or was the only one not seriously injured. People began whispering that those around me were marked men. My friends were the only ones who stood up for me." Alexander shook his head, his voice hoarse. "And now that they're dead, I have no reason to return."

Alexander thought for a moment. "Even if I did, one person surviving from a ship lost in the warp? They'd execute me fast than you could say 'heretic' just to make sure I wasn't possessed or something."

Fluttershy looked close to tears. "That's so sad."

"Yeah, ain't it though?" Alexander stood up and head back to the party. "I need a drink."

Alexander woke cursing as the sun pierced his eyes, his head in splitting agony. He rolled over to hide his eyes from the light of the sun, and fell off the bookshelf he was lying on.

THUD!

"God damn it!"

Alexander looked around, trying to remember where he was. Noting the streamers and partly deflated balloons strewn about, he realized that the previous night was not a dream. His tongue felt like cotton, his head was in agony, what the hell had happened last night?

"Oh, you're up."

Alexander looked at Twilight with a grimace. "What happened last night?"

Twilight smiled ruefully at the suffering human. "You were heavily intoxicated."

"How many drinks did I have?"

"One."

Alexander looked at Twilight as if she had just grown tentacles and called him mommy. "One drink? The warp kind of drink did I have?"

Twilight shook her head, "Sorry, I meant one entire barrel of the Apple Family's finest hard apple cider." She giggled. "you were singing drinking songs all night until you passed out, it was quite impressive."

Alexander stared at Twilight for a moment. Gritting his teeth, he stood up and moved to the window. "Well, that explains the hangover." He stopped, stared out the window at something that seemed unusual, even for this place. "Hey Twilight?"

"Hm?"

"Am I still drunk?"

"Um, hold on lemme check." Twilight's horn glowed for a few seconds, before fizzling out. "Nope, you are stone cold sober. Why?"

Alexander squeezed his eyes shut. "Are your clouds usually pink?"

Now it was Twilight's turn to look at Alexander like he had sprouted tentacles. "No."

Alexander grimaced, brows furrowing as he gazed out the window at a cluster of pink clouds. "No reason."

Author's Note

Wow this chapter was hard to write. That exchange between Alexander and Fluttershy was written and rewritten so many times. Anyways, Ominous clouds are on the horizon.

Damage Control

Alexander stood on the train platform, waiting for the eight O'clock train to arrive as he worked his augmetic hand. He had been told to expect phantom pains, but the icy numbness that seemed to radiate from his shoulder was maddening. The shrill whistle of a train coming into the station drew Alexander away from his arm. The train slid into the station with a sedate hiss, filling the air with steam from the brakes. As the mist cleared, Alexander beheld three familiar ponies disembarking from a passenger car.

"So, that's what Celestia meant when she said 'familiar with my brand of command.' Well, I must say, it is good to see you Sergeant Rain. You too, Sure Shot and Flame Dancer."

Steel Rain took the offered hand in his hoof. "Pleasure's all ours, sir."

"So, where's everyone else?" Alexander looked around with his one good eye, the left covered by an eyepatch he had found mysteriously taped to the underside of his desk. Steel Rain grimaced.

"Windigoes and that thing from the mountain devastated our Platoon. Most of the others took honorable discharges when offered, but we three stayed." He shook his head. "They were going to fold us into another unit, but when you sent for soldiers, Captain Armor decided to assign us to you as a supporting group. We even got a new recruit out of it."

"Oh?"

An absolute behemoth of an earth pony squeezed out of the train car behind them, several black duffels lying on his back. The bald, dark-chestnut earth pony spoke, a deep mellifluous baritone that one could not help but to listen to when he spoke. "Sir, I have our bags."

Rain presented the titanic pony with a flourish of his hoof. "This is private Nickel Lionheart, strongest damn pony in the Guard."

Nickel saluted crisply as he came to an impressively impeccable attention. "Sir, it is an honor to serve with you." He smiled broadly, perfectly white teeth standing out from his almost black fur. "I hope you don't make things too boring around here."

Alexander couldn't help but smile. "It's a pleasure." Sweet Emperor's golden ass, he's as big as a horse. Indeed, Lionheart was the biggest pony Alexander had ever seen, bigger even than Applejack's brother Big Mac. In fact, Alexander had to look up slightly to make eye contact. What in the warp are they feeding this guy? Alexander cleared his head with a shake. "Alright, fall in. Time to get you situated and get to work." Alexander lead the way off the platform as the train chugged away.

"Um, Sir? May-may I ask you a question?"

Alexander dropped back to march next to Sure Shot. "Still stuttering I see. Go ahead, ask away."

"Where are you from?"

Alexander stared pensively into space for a moment. "Well, to be honest, while I don't know where I was born, I was raised on a planet called Harlech. Come to think of it, Equestria does remind me of Harlech somewhat."

"Wh-what's i-it like there?"

"It is one of the most beautiful planets I have ever been on."

"Really? How so?"

Alexander stared off into space for a moment as music began to play in the background. Standing tall, he began to sing somewhat softly.

Let old Tanith boast of her wild wandrin' forests
Valhalla of ice planes and Catachan of strength
Forge worlds toiling to make almighty war machines
Where freedom expires amid hammer and flame

Alexander drew up as he began to sing fortissimo, the ponies following him beginning to prance in time to the song.

Harlech's black mountains wild where ho-ary cliffs are piled
Tow'ring in grandeur are dearer tae me
Land of the misty cloud land of the tempest loud
Land of the brave and proud land of the free

Enthroned on the peak of his own highland mountains
The gov'ner of Harlech reigns fearless and free
His green standard waving o'er blue rock and fountain
And proudly he claims looking over the sea

Alexander drew his sword and began to twirl it dramatically, a grin forming unbidden.

Here 'mong my mountains wild I have serenely smiled
When Chaos and xenos against me were hurled
Firm as my native rock I have withstood the shock
Of traitor, of Eldar, or Ork and the Tau

But see how proudly His war tanks are dashing
Deep groves of steel crushed down in their path
The eyes of His sons like their lasguns are flashing
Triumphantly marching through ruin and death

Alexander began to twirl the blade over his head as he belted out the last verse, the group of ponies following him cheering as he did so.

Bold hearts and nodding plumes stand o'er their bloody tombs
Deepeyed in gore is the green standard's wave
Shivering are the ranks of steel dire is the lasgun's yield
Victorious in battlefield Harlech the brave

Bold hearts and nodding plumes stand o'er their bloody tombs
Deepeyed in gore is the green standard's wave
Shivering are the ranks of steel dire is the lasgun's yield
Victorious in battlefield Harlech the brave
Victorious in battlefield Harlech the brave

Alexander found himself stabbing at the sky with his sword while his foot perched majestically on a large rock as the music faded. Dropping his arm, Alexander looked around in confusion as the parade that had followed him dispersed, leaving him alone with the guardponies. "Um...what the hell just happened?"

Steel Rain shrugged. "You started singing."

"Why? I can't even sing well. For that matter, where was that music coming from?"

Nickel spoke up, saving his sergeant from explaining it. "Every now and then, a pony is filled with a particularly strong emotion, pride in your case I would assume, and will get the urge to sing, usually before they know what's happening. Sometimes, the magic in the song can cause others to feel the same way and join in. I hear it happens quite a lot here." Nickel waved a hoof around Ponyville. Alexander sheathed his sword with a groan.

"Great. Let's just get back to base and work out a plan before anything else happens."

Alexander stood by the stage as he scanned the gathering crowd. Tapping his earbud, Alexander activated his comm. "All units report in."

<Deep Strike reporting in. Nothing yet.>

<Doc here. All clear on my end.>

<Pyro reporting in. Nothing to burn yet.>

<Um, ah, H-hawkeye REporting in. Um, ah, n-negative on, I mean, nothing!>

<This is Titan. Thought I had something, turned out just to be a Mare-Do-Well fan trying to sneak an autograph.>

"Alright, keep radio silence from here on out unless you get something suspicious." A chorus of rogers answered, Alexander turning back to the crowd before him. All he could do now was wait.

He didn't have to wait long. As soon as Mare-Do-Well appeared on stage, Rainbow Dash blitzed in from wherever she had been waiting and began accusing MDW of being a phony. When MDW ran off to avoid being unmasked, Rainbow Dash chased after her. Alexander began to run after them with a curse.

"All teams, concentrate on the town, I have Vigilante and Loyalty covered!" Another chorus of affirmatives answered as Alexander chased after the racing superhero and jealous weather mare.

He finally caught up to the pair at Sweet Apple Acres to find Rainbow Dash confronting several mares in Mare-Do-Well costumes. Leaning against a tree, Alexander smirked at Dash's befuddlement. "So, it was all five of you, huh? I must admit Twilight, I did not see that one coming."

Rainbow glared at Alexander, turning on him in a huffy fury. "You knew? Why didn't you tell me?"

Alexander chuckled at the mare's rage. "I didn't know for sure. I just know that I gave Twilight some advice on bringing your ego in check, and then a strange mare started showing you up, while Twilight was watching. So I figured she got somepony" Shit, did I really just say that? "To do it for her."

Dash looked at her friends for a moment before dropping her head in shame. "I...suppose I have been a bit pig headed lately. Girls, I'm s-"

BOOM

Alexander spun to look at the mushroom cloud forming over Ponyville as his combead crackled to life. <Sir, Deep Strike here! A bomb just went off at Sugarcube Corner! We have a suspect fleeing in your direction!>

"Roger. No kill shots, I want answers." Alexander turned to the mane six. Pinkie was frozen, her mane gone grey and flat in her horror, with Rarity and Fluttershy trying to keep her calm. "The lot of you, stay here. I don't care why you are coming," Alexander didn't let the open mouthed Applejack, Twilight and Rainbow get a word in edgewise. "You aren't coming." He drew his laspistol for emphasis. "You really don't want to see what comes next." The cold look in his eyes made even Rainbow Dash unsure for a moment, but a moment was all Alexander needed to take his leave.

Alexander had just entered Ponyville proper when his combead crackled again. <Sir, Titan here, we've apprehended the suspect. What should we do with him?>

"Hold onto him, I'm on my way. What's your position?"

<H-hawkeye here, Sir! N-nic..erm...T-titan's in an alley three streets north and two west of your position.>

"Roger! On my way! Hold tight Titan."

Alexander came around the corner into the alley to find Nickel sitting on a struggling mottled lime-green/fuschia furred unicorn with an aquamarine mane and purple tail. His broken horn lay next to him. Alexander crouched, bringing his face to the captive pony's eye level. "I'm only going to ask nice once. Who do you work for and what does he want?"

To Alexander's disconcertion, the unicorn began to laugh maniacally. "You can't stop it!"

Alexander quirked an his eyebrow, but the effect was somewhat lost considering it was under an eyepatch. "Oh, really? We seemed to stop you just fine. Now," Alexander pulled out his combat knife. "Who do you work for?"

The pony's maniacal cackling merely increased. "I may have failed, but the war has just begun. THE FOUR HORSES SHALL RIDE AGAIN!" The broken stub of his horn glowed cyan before his cackling gave way to a horrid gurgle as his lungs liquified. Nickel jumped off before the juiced organ spilled out of the twitching corpse's mouth. Looking at the body in disgust he shrugged an apology to Alexander. Alexander didn't notice. He was too busy staring at the corpse's flank. A familiar symbol had been carved into the flesh, the scar tissue destroying the cutie mark. A very, very familiar symbol.

"Oh, frak."

Author's Note

Anypony who can guess who Nickel Lionheart is a tribute to gets a mustache.

Announcment

Guardsman Sparky here! I would like to apologize for the long unannounced hiatus, but school was harder than I thought it would be, followed by all sorts of shit that left me unable to actually get onto my account here until recently due to the fact that I no longer have the email account my account here is linked to, and I got a new computer that didn't have the password recorded. Also, I may have lost my notes on my planned story...so yeah. At any rate, expect updates to begin again come May/June. Guardsman Sparky, out!