Ladies and Gentlemen

by The Panty Thief

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Luna, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia
Length: 988

Discord- "Helloooo~" ... and Celestia's little love story. "And the shortest introduction you have ever read!"... Just. Stop discord.

"The first thing I will tell all of you humans is that I am NOT. K.N.O.T.E. not a Chimera or however the damn well you spell it.
I'm a Draconequus. Not that thing from Harry potter, he had too gay of a hair cut.
Maybe his father though, he had a nice cane..."

Published 2013-05-12 22:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-12 22:00:02 UTC

Intro("One Page Wonder!")

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Equestria. A (mostly) quiet world uninhabited by humans, being replaced by ponies, unicorns, pegasi, and dragons. There is a heavy presence of magic and friendship within the lands, and although corruption and taint is still present, it’s a mostly peaceful place. This story is not about the world though, no it is more concise, It’s about an odd pair of lovers. Though a little back ground may indeed help to see why these two are an “odd pair”.

One of them happens to be the one to rule over all of Equestria, in a spectacle of light, she rules over the world with a caring hand (Or dare I say, “Hoof!”). She is an Alicorn, a race that is immortal in life and holds immense power. She’s bears a mark of the sun, a flowing mane that seems to change color, her hide a powerful white. She has had to deal with the evils of Equestria throughout her years and at some points it had cost her some personal grounds. One evil in particular is the complete opposite of what Equestria and what it stands for. Discord, The element of unharmony.

Now Discord is a “Draconequus” or to humans would call a Chi-

“No, I am not.” The Draconequus had piped up.

As I was saying, to humans he is a-

“NO, Stop it.”

I- I’m sorry, but are you talking to me?

“Yes ‘Good sir’, and if you’re going to start a story about me, with some serious topic in mind, you’d better get the facts straight. I am a Draconequus. Not that funny… thing that humans call me.”

Well, Discord-

“And why am I an evil? That sounds a little bland. Maybe I should be an underwater terror.”

That makes no sense, you’ve never made a terror underwater to begin with.

“No no! Follow the script! You’re supposed to agree with me!”

Could you...! I am trying to start this lovely story about you and you keep bothering me about minuscule-
“Not minuscule, these are very important details.”
Now listen you, be quiet, we both know where this is going... Right, This is Discord, a Draconequus. He is part deer, horse, lion, snake, lizard, goat, eagle, pegasus, bat, and dragon. He has the ability to distort and change reality to his will-

“Which is how I get to bother you today.”

-his magic power is said to be immense and powerful, rivaling and maybe even surpassing that of Celestia’s power. Despite this however, discord was sealed not once but twice, once by Celestia and her sister, Luna-

“Charming girl, however that was a fluke, I had too many bananas flying towards me”

-The other time was by 6 ponies. Now he is back to his original self and “reformed” in a sense, due to one of the 6’s influence. He has been using powers for good more than evil, but he still has his mishaps and misdemeanors. Since his release from Celestia he has been traveling a across Equestria, mostly between Ponyville and Canterlot castle. He's grown closer to the ponies he once has harassed and ridiculed.

"Is that enough? This is already becoming dull. You, stop writing." Discord commanded

Well it is a rather short little introduction if you stop it there..?

"Yes but all will be explained in the story, the meat of the apple! We just need to move on, come on! people are waiting on you to stop rambling and get into the action!"

The only action is-

"AH! no cheating. you can't reveal it yet. For now we are ending this. On to the story!"

... But it doesn't work that way, you can't just have a introduction to such a great story on one page, you need to give them something to expect.

"I am discord, what they expect has been thrown out of a window, trotted on, been blown up by nuclear warfare and then put in a museum because it was deemed a part of history."

Well that's rude.

"Well rude is a color of black."

Just. Just let me introduce the next chapter of your little story okay Discord? for the sake of Celestia?

"Fine, I'll go check up on my banana repellent agent and see if its done cooking."

...he's gone?... Good. We come to a point not to long after his release, Discord was doing what he always does, playing tiny pranks on ponies. This one prank had him located in Canterlot castle, within Celestia's private stache of Cornets and pasties. He had decided that it was a good idea to go create a scavenger hunt....

The Scavenger and the Crow

Discord had got himself into something more delicious than he had planned, he had stumbled onto one of Celestia's prized treasure troves: Her sweets stache.

Discord had been rummaging around in it "Oh pasties and doughnuts and- Well well well!" he holds up a golden cup "So she does have golden ice cream! Too bad it melts in the sun." he snickers to himself as he dives back in. "Now what can I use as a lure... Oh! maybe some blueberry crepes..." Taking some string he wraps it around 5 crepes, creating a giant rolling pin of blueberry filling and dough. "Though this does remind me.... Oh!" He twists the string to make almost like a handle bar like structure and using his magic hardens it in place. "HA! Now I can mow her lawn a beautiful blueberry blue!.. AH I can't forget! I came here to make that scavenger hunt that stupid narrator put me on..." Diving back in, and then out he came with several pasties and desserts that he then became sneakily zooming past every room, carefully placing the sweets in unprecedented places, including putting a few of the left over blue berry crepes within the seat of Celestia's thone cushion.