Popped

The familiar smell of Cloudy Quartz’s cooking drifted into the air from the center of the table, giving a warm greeting to everypony present. A single, white candle slowly burned nearby, drops of molten wax racing towards the base before they were stopped in their tracks by the cool air around it.

The six members of the Pie Family, Cloudy Quartz, Igneous Rock, Limestone, Marble, Pinkie, and Maud sat around the dinner table, hooves linked together in preparation for their pre-dining ritual.

“Limestone, would you like to say thanks?” Cloudy said, gesturing as well as she was able to with her occupied hooves.

Limestone nodded. She closed her eyes and looked down, and the rest of the family followed suit. “Thank you, Celestia and Luna, for these gifts which we are about to receive from your day and night.” Opening her eyes, she looked across the table to Pinkie. “Thank you for granting our beloved sister, Pinkamena, with good health and a speedy recovery during these hard times.”

The rest of the family nodded, save Pinkie, who remained still.

Next, Limestone looked to her left. “We humbly ask you to bless our eldest sister, Maud, with good fortune as she prepares to leave for her final year of school tomorrow. Long live Celestia, and long live Luna. Amen.”

“Amen.” The five other ponies repeated in unison, putting their hooves back at their sides and opening their eyes.

Pinkie Pie looked down at her plate. Rice, mashed potatoes, and green beans. It was a simple dish, but then again, she was from a simple family. Skewering a few of the beans with a fork, Pinkie brought them up to her lips.

She slowly chewed the mouthful of green beans, crushing them to pieces with her new false teeth. They had been a little difficult to get accustomed to, but now that she’d been using them for a while, she was beginning to feel a little more comfortable with them. At least it was better than the feeding tube.

Ugh… Pinkie gagged, remembering the feeling of having the thin, plastic tube jammed down her throat. Luckily, she was able to stop herself from making a scene, though the intrusive thought ushered in a flurry of similar memories of her three-week stay at the hospital.

Most of these memories were a total blur. Not because she didn’t remember anything. Rather, she recalled far too much of the mind-numbing ordeal. It seemed like every single day was exactly the same. Wake up too late, skip breakfast, get bugged by a nurse, barely touch lunch, get bugged by a nurse, scarf down dinner, get bugged by a nurse, go to bed too late.

With barely anything to do, Pinkie Pie was confined to the same bed for weeks with nothing but her thoughts. This, however, was a problem, as Pinkie’s thoughts weren’t what they used to be. While her mind used to be filled with jokes, pranks, recipes and party plans, it now seemed to be occupied only by fear, sadness, and horrific memories of pain and suffering.

Thankfully, her stay was frequently punctuated by visits from her family, who brought her all sorts of stuff. Balloons, cards, stuffed animals, and of course, plenty of rocks from the farm. A few other ponies came to visit her as well, but Pinkie’s family were the only ones who made her feel the slightest bit better.

Not very much, though.

Over that month, Pinkie’s body slowly repaired itself. Though she ate very little, it was better than nothing at all, and her muscles soon grew back to full strength. Her left eye had been replaced with a false one, which, despite not helping her see any better, made her prettier to look at. The burns she had received were healed by skin grafts, and all her minor wounds healed up nicely.

As much as she had been rehabilitated, however, scars were left over, both inside and out. Deep, painful scars that not even the most powerful of healing magic could even begin to repair. Though Pinkie had tried time and again to feel happy again, to make the horrible pain go away, it only seemed to get worse as each day passed.

The doctors had done their job, however, and before she knew it, it was time for Pinkie Pie to return home.

Instead of returning to her home in Ponyville, though, she had decided that it was best if she lived with her parents for a while before getting back up on her hooves. After all, that’s what she had set out to do in the first place all those weeks ago.

Closing her eyes for a moment, Pinkie swallowed, sending the chewed-up wad of food into her eagerly waiting tummy.

“...Yes. This was the first out of three research trips I will get to do this semester. I am looking forward to the next two, because the first was very enjoyable.”

Cloudy Quartz smiled. “That’s wonderful! We’re all so proud of you, Maud. To think, you’ll have your rocktorate soon!”

“Yes, I know. I can’t wait.” Maud said, surrendering a tiny grin. “And the next trip is going be in the Griffon Kingdom. We’re studying the effects of the last ice age on the mountain formations there, specifically on Mount Silver Tail.”

“Oh, how interesting! You hear, that, Pinkamena?” Cloudy Quartz said, turning to face her most brightly-colored daughter. Rather than respond, though, Pinkie stared at her plate with half-lidded eyes, twisting her green beans around with her fork.

Cloudy Quartz frowned. "Pinkamena, are you even listening? And don’t play with your food.” she scolded, shaking her head.

“Huh? Oh.” Pinkie looked up from her plate, her expression even more neutral than Maud’s. “Sorry, Mom.” She apologized, feeding herself with another forkful of green beans.

The rest of the Pie family shared a few looks between themselves, their expressions ranging from worry to confusion. Pinkie, on the other hand, was too lost in her thoughts to even notice the movement around her. Or, perhaps she did, and she just didn’t care. She had been doing a lot of that lately.

“Umm, Pinkie, do you wanna maybe help me with dessert?” Marble said, breaking the silence with both her shrill voice and the sound of the table creaking under her weight as she leaned over it. “Limey and I are making rock candy cookies!”

Pinkie glared across the table at her younger sister for a few uncomfortable seconds before returning her gaze to her still-full plate. “No thanks.” She said, pushing her plate away from herself. “May I be excused, Mom?”

“Now Pinkamena, you’ve barely even touched your food.” Igneous interjected before his wife could answer the question. “Why don’t you spend some time with your sisters? You’ve barely even come out of your room for weeks!”

Pinkie shut her eyes and groaned. “Because I don’t want to.”

“But you love baking, Pinkie!” Limestone interjected. “You’re the one who taught me-”

Pinkie slammed her hoof on the table, sending her plate and cutlery a few centimeters into the air. Glasses toppled over, and a few loose petals fell off the bouquet in the center of the table. “Are you hard of hearing, Limestone? Huh? Do you speak Equestrian? I said no!” She yelled, getting up from her chair. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

“S-sorry.” Limestone looked down, hiding her hurt expression beneath her straight, light grey bangs. “I didn’t mean to make you mad, I just wanted to-.”

Pinkie scowled and rolled her eyes at the gesture. “Just leave me alone!” she grumbled as she began toward the stairs.

The rest of the Pie family sat quietly, listening to a symphony of stomping as Pinkie Pie made her way up the staircase. They winced in unison when the piece abruptly ended with the sound of Pinkie’s door slamming shut.

Cloudy Quartz gave a hefty sigh as the sound echoed through the house.“What’s gotten into her?” She said, soon after lifting her head to look at her family. “It’s been over a month now, and she’s still acting like this.”

Maud cleared her throat. “She’s been through a lot.” she answered, taking her pet rock out of her pocket to absentmindedly roll it around on her hoof. “I think she just needs some time to readapt.”

“Oh, I know that, but I don’t understand why she’s treating us all like this.” Cloudy Quartz replied as her voice began to tremble. “She barely ever comes out of her room, and everytime I try to talk to her, she just brushes me off. It’s like she’s a totally different pony.”

The rest of the family nodded in agreement. “I’m worried about her too, mom.” Marble said. “We all are.”

* * *

A chilly breeze swept through a town somewhere in Equestria, sending a cloud of loose, newfallen snow into the air as it passed through its barren trees. The white dust flew every which way as millions of tiny crystals flew freely through the air. Each was unique in its own way, though they all were destined to eventually settle down onto the ground below, as least until the next gust of wind.

Today marked the two-week anniversary of the day Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and fourteen other mares from the small village of Ponyville were officially pronounced dead, killed over a decade by a malicious serial killer identified as Pokey Pierce. The news of the killings had turned not only Ponyville, but the entire country upside-down, its shocked citizens struggling to comprehend such a horrific crime occurring within its borders.

Sixteen days of mourning had been announced by Celestia and Luna to commemorate the victims. National funeral services for the family and friends of the deceased were held each day, in the order of the victim’s disappearances. For the past two weeks, flags had been flown at half-mast, and sixteen seconds of silence had been observed before every major sporting event.

Instead of mourning, however, most ponies had been swept up in panic for the past fourteen days. This was not only because of the appalling nature of what had happened, but rather due to the fact that the killer, though easily identified by a generous amount of video evidence, had not yet been apprehended by authorities. A serial killer was loose on the streets of Equestria.

Out of all the areas affected by the news, however, no community had been hit quite as hard as Ponyville, a small village quite literally in the shadow of Equestria’s capital city of Canterlot.

Today, the sun shone brightly in the cloudless sky, making for what most ponies would call a pleasant mid-winter afternoon. Normally, on a day such as this, the small Equestrian town would be abuzz with ponies of every shape and size, enjoying the weather with friends and family alike. Today, however, one could count on their fingers the number of ponies who roamed the streets at any given time. In fact, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched for a wandering traveler to assume he had reached a ghost town.

The sound of opening doors had become a rarity in recent days. Most ponies were too afraid to even take a step outside, lest they be snatched up by the stallion now known as the “Blue Butcher of Ponyville”.

Tomorrow, however, the fifteenth and final funeral would be held for both Rainbow Dash and Applejack, the final two victims. Though the preceding fourteen funerals had been relatively small, private affairs reserved to the friends and family of the deceased, Celestia had made arrangements for the two mares to be commemorated as if they were royalty. The event was open to the public, and would be the first time many of the citizens of Ponyville would leave their homes in days.

* * *

The constant, incessant buzzing of the stitching machine abruptly stopped, cloaking the already somber atmosphere in a new blanket of silence.

That's the last of them, Rarity thought to herself, removing the plain black dress from its place underneath the needle. Then, levitating the garment in the air with a spell, she slipped it onto a coat hanger and hung it on one of the many nearby clothes racks.

The newly-stitched dress was now one of three that hung on the rack, waiting to be picked up by their respective recipients. They hung alone, their simple, monochrome designs in stark contrast to the unicorn's usual creations. In fact, they were the only dresses to be placed on the rack in weeks, and even then, Rarity barely found the mental strength to put the effort into sewing them.

With a ladylike, quiet sigh, she placed her bright red work glasses on her desk. She got up out of her chair, levitating a book off a small shelf across the room as she dragged herself over to her bed.

The foam matress was silent as Rarity placed her full weight on it, yet the heavy whine she emitted made up for the lack of noise. Planting her head down on one of the many pillows that lined the backboard, she flipped half-heartedly through her sketchbook.

Dresses, gowns, and countless other ensembles of her creation flashed before her eyes, all products of a far less stressful time. “I just need a little inspiration…” she announced to herself as she looked over her past works.

She felt a slight breeze on her face as the pages turned, though this ended as soon as two pages in particular flashed by her eyes. In an instant, she flipped back to the two drawings, the once black ink now faded to a dark blue.

Two sketches sat side by side. Her two friends, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, drawn wearing elaborate ensembles. She had drawn them years ago, in preparation for the Grand Galloping Gala.

Rarity felt a lump begin to grow in her throat as she gazed upon the drawing. What beautiful mares they were, she thought, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. Her efforts proved fruitless, however, and the unicorn soon found light streaks of black flowing down her cheeks.

It all seemed too horrible to have actually happened. Two of her friends, ponies she had adored more than anything else in the world, were now dead. Gone. Forever. It was such a simple concept to grasp, but Rarity just couldn’t seem to manage. Things like this simply didn’t happen in Equestria. She, along with the rest of the country, had been taken completely by surprise.

Above all else, she just wished she’d had the chance to say a proper goodbye.

Rarity wiped a fat tear off of her face, immediately noting the thick, black line of wet mascara that had rubbed off onto it. “Oh, what am I doing? Twilight will be here any minute!” She thought out loud, lifting herself out of bed with newfound purpose. She rushed to one of the many mirrors that populated her residence, wiping the black lines off of her cheeks before they had the chance to stain her pristine, white coat.

* * *

“And...done!” Spike declared, setting the broom back in its proper place beside the refrigerator. Without a moment’s hesitation, he looked up to check the clock.

Seven O’ Clock.

“Finally!” he said to himself, pumping his fist in the air as he bounded towards the stairs with a spring in his step. “Twilight, it’s time!” he called, racing up the steps to the second floor.

Twilight sat quietly by her bedside window, gazing through her telescope at the orange evening sky. Soon, Princess Luna would raise the moon, revealing to the world a stunning array of twinkling stars. “Mmm?” she hummed, keeping her attention fixed on the sunset.

Smiling, Spike rocked back and forth on his heels. “It’s seven!”

“Mmm.” Twilight hummed, ignored her assistant for a few moments. She adjusted a few knobs on the side of the telescope before finally turning away from the instrument. “And?” She groaned, eyes half-lidded.

“We’re supposed to go to Rarity’s to pick up our clothes, remember?” Spike huffed, crossing his arms. “You know how she is about punctuality. She’ll be mad if we’re not on time!”

Twilight visibly deflated. “Oh, right.” She mumbled, flipping through an old-looking tome before turning her attention back towards the telescope. “You know how to get there by yourself, don’t you? I’m kinda busy.”

“Ugh, that’s not the point!” Spike groaned. He made his way up the curved staircase leading up to where Twilight sat. “You’ve barely even come out of the library ever since you came back from Canterlot.”

Twilight tilted the telescope upwards. “...And?”

“Come on, Twilight!” Spike yelled, stomping his feet on the floor. “It’s been like a month since you did anything fun! You're acting like the way you did before we moved to Ponyville, like you're afraid to go outside or so-”

Twilight abruptly outstretched her wings, pushing Spike away from her. “I don’t want to hear it, Spike! I’m! busy!” she yelled, placing emphasis on each word. “I have a lot of stuff to do to get ready for tomorrow. You’re old enough to go on your own!”

Spike was silent for a moment. “How does looking through a telescope help you rehearse your eulogy?”

Twilight felt her entire body shiver. “Ugh!” She groaned, turning herself away from Spike. “Just, just leave me be, okay? I don’t need this right now.”

“Fine. I’ll go.” Spike grumbled, turning away. “By myself.” Soon enough, he was gone, having stormed his way down the stairs and out of the room.

***

The sound of the doorbell summoned Rarity away from the mirror. "One moment!" Rarity called, fluffing her mane a few more times for good measure.

Spike waited patiently on the other side of the door, mindlessly tapping his foot on the ground. Rarity’s voice was barely audible thanks to both the barrier between them and the distance, leaving Spike to wonder whether or not she was even home. Thankfully, however, his question was soon answered.

“Woah!” Spike yelled, jumping backwards and narrowly avoiding the door as it abruptly swung open.

"So good to finally see you, Twi-" Rarity's head swung left and right in before finally looking down. “Oh, ah, hello there, Spike!” She greeted, quickly realizing her mistake. She reached out to give the young dragon a pat on the head. “What brings you here? Did Twilight not come with you?” She said, pouting a little.

Spike crossed his arms and huffed. “Yeah"

"Is something wrong, dear?"

Spike hesitated for a second, looking down at the doormat below his feet. "Nah. Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

“If you say so.” Rarity said, not wanting to pry. She took a step back and began to close the boutique’s ornate front door. “Wait here while I get her dress, won’t you?”

“Wait!” Spike called, blocking the door with his foot. “Can’t I just come- OW!”

Rarity cupped her hooves over her mouth. “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!” She yelled, quickly pulling the door away from Spike’s crushed foot. “Are you alright?”

Spike cringed for a moment, but quickly regained his composure. “Y-yeah, I’m okay. Thick scales. Can I please just come in?”

“Uhh, I, ah…” Rarity sputtered, looking behind herself at the chaotic mess that was her work space. Strewn about the floor were unspooled rolls of various fabrics of every shape and size, dirtying the pallette of the otherwise pure white carpet. Scissors, sequins, and various other objects joined the fabric on the floor, adding to the chaos. “Um, I...Oh, whatever. Sure. Come in.” She finally relented, hanging her head in defeat as she stepped aside, holding the front door open for her guest.

Rarity tried to hide her slight blush as Spike made his way in without skipping a beat. The feeling was beyond her own comprehension. Spike had seen the boutique in far worse states than this, yet she still felt a tinge of shame overcome her.

"Hmm...I hope you haven't grown much since the gala." She said, regaining her regal composure as she trotted her way back to the other side of the boutique. "Otherwise I'll be up all night fixing your outfit."

“Nah.” Spike dismissed her with a wave of his hand. "Don't worry, dragons age slowly".

"Oh, thank goodness. I'm sorry I never measured you, I've just been so scatterbrained lately." Rarity said, her voice fading with every step she took towards the back room. “I’ve been experiencing something of a creative block ever since I heard the news about Applejack and Rainbow.”

"Yeah. I know what you mean." Spike said, but his words were met with no reply, Rarity having already made her way into the other room.

“Here we are.” Rarity mumbled to herself, using her magic to levitate the two garments, a simple, black dress and a similarly colored tuxedo, off the clothes rack and into the air. Before she turned around, however, the open book on her bed caught her eye. The page was still turned to her original design sketch for Applejack’s gala dress.

“Hmm.” She whined, draping the clothes on her back in favor of using her magic to levitate the book on top of her wardrobe. With a little mental push, she sent the sketchbook reeling toward the back, against the wall and out of sight. I suppose I should pick up a fresh sketchbook after the ceremony tomorrow.

“Now, where was I?”

Upon her return to the boutique’s main room, Rarity found her guest laying down on one of her large, ornate couches. “Spikey?” She asked, resisting the urge to request that he remove his filthy feet from the expensive silk cushions. “Is everything alright, darling?”

Spike took his time giving a response, sighing slowly into the cushion before flipping himself over to face his host, who had by then taken a seat next to him. “I don’t know.” he said, looking down. “Twilight’s just been really distant lately. Like she doesn’t even care about me, or anything else, really.”

Rarity scooted closer. “Oh, I’m sorry, Spike. Twilight’s just…” she paused for a moment to think. “She just has a lot to deal with right now. But I know her, and I know she loves you."

Spike crossed his arms and turned away. “That’s the thing! It’s like she’s a totally different pony now! All she does is mope around all day. No matter how many times I try to tell her, she still thinks this whole thing was somehow her fault! And it’s been like this for weeks, ever since Celestia got back from her trip!"

"Now Spike, it's not very fair to judge the way somepony chooses to deal with a loss like this." Rarity said, running a hoof up and down the dragon's back. "We all mourn differently."

Spike relaxed at Rarity's touch, letting him deflate a little and sink back into the soft cushion behind him. "Yeah, I know. It's just, this whole thing has done nothing but tear our group apart. I really miss those three, and what happened to them was horrible, but..." Spike stopped to clear his throat, but he could do nothing to stop the coming storm. " I just...I…you guys are my best friends. I don't want to lose what we have left!"

Rarity watched in surprise as the young dragon swiftly turned away from her, hiding his tear-soaked eyes under his hands. His wails, however, as much as he tried to suppress them, could not be hidden.

“Oh, Spike…” Rarity began, pulling him into a tight hug. She placed a soft kiss on Spike's cheek, silencing him instantly. "We won't. I promise." She said, putting on a smile. "We're all just a little shaken up by the news, is all. Give it a few more weeks, and I'm sure we'll all feel better."

“O-okay…” Spike lips quivered in shame, his eyes fixed away from Rarity's face. “Oh, gosh. S-sorry for crying.” He said, wiping his forearm across his eyes. “I didn’t want to make this weird.”

“It’s okay, Spike.” She said again, suppressing a ladylike giggle at his comment. “It’s all going to be okay.”

Spike’s cheeks flushed brightly as he finally looked up to meet Rarity’s eyes. “Okay.” he said, returning her smile. “If you say so.”

Rarity smiled even harder, holding her hoof out for Spike to grab. “Come on, let’s get you home. I’ll carry the dress.”

* * *

With her pencil at the ready, Pinkie turned to a fresh page in her journal. It was a gaudy, torn old book, crudely held together by a few strings of bright pink yarn. She had made it herself as a filly, and today would be the first day she would be writing a journal entry in over a decade.

pinkie d. pie feb. 2, 1005

another bad day. that makes forty-nine in a row since i got out of the hospital. when am i gonna start feeling happy again, journal???

i didn't make anypony smile today. but thats OK, because i didn't smile either. i haven't really felt like smiling a whole lot lately. on the bright side, i stopped having nightmares so often. well, maybe i have, but i don't remember them, that still counts, right? that must be because of the sleeping pills i've been taking to help me fall asleep.

i really like those pills because they help me fall asleep sooner, which is good because i don’t really like real world anymore. but mom tells me I shouldn't take too many. she told me about somepony she knew from grade school that died from taking too many at once, and that if i died in a silly way like that, she would scold me big time in heaven.

Pinkie looked up for a moment, still holding the pencil between her false teeth. She gazed for a few moments at the bottle of pills that sat on her nightstand, but soon broke out of the trance to continue writing.

but i don't know of i believe that or not. my mommy has lied to me before, like a few days ago when she told me that she loved me, and that things would get better soon. but they’re not!

i used to feel sad all the time, but now i feel REALLY sad all the time. why? i remember that dashie said that she was with applejack when she came to save me. well guess what, journal? i read in the newspaper last week that she died too. i guess that explains why she wasn't there with twilight and everypony else when they visited me in the hospital. i guess i forgot about her until i read that she was dead. i didn't cry, but it still made me really sad. does that make me a bad friend?

i cant stop thinking about dashie and applejack and how they're dead because of me. when i close my eyes i can still see dashies head in my lap, and i get really scared and sometimes i start crying.

Pinkie’s tangent was interrupted by three knocks outside the door. “Pinkie Pie?” A familiar voice called to accompany them.

With the slightest of gasps, Pinkie quickly closed her journal and laid on top of it. “Um, It’s unlocked.” She hastily declared, wrapping herself up in a blanket for added security.

She listened through her covers as the door creaked open. “Pinkie Pie?” The voice said again as its owner entered the room. “I am very worried about you. I want to talk to you before I leave on my research trip.”

Pinkie felt the spring mattress shift below her as the visitor sat down. Reluctantly, she poked her head out from under the blanket to see her older sister, Maud, staring down at her. “What are you worried about, Maud?” she said dismissively. “I told you, I’m fine.”

Maud scowled slightly. “No, you are not.” She said with a tinge of assertiveness. “I know you, Pinkie. I can tell when you’re not well.”

“Well, looks like you were wrong this time.” Pinkie replied, ducking her head back under the covers. She shifted uncomfortably to accommodate the book poking at her belly. “I don’t know why you guys keep trying to get me to talk to you.”

Without skipping a beat, Maud leaned forward and lifted the blanket off Pinkie’s head. “Please.” she said, staring into Pinkie’s eyes as she attempted to look away. “I want my little sister to be happy. I do not like seeing you this way.”

Too tired to try and hide under the blanket again, Pinkie simply laid there with her mouth tucked behind her forehooves, refusing to give more than an irritated groan in response. She put her head down, waiting for Maud to continue with her speech, but she remained just as quiet.

For what seemed like eons, the two sisters sat together in silence like two equally-matched armies meeting on the battlefield, both parties itching for the other to make the next move. Pinkie closed her eyes, sighing angrily to herself. Maud coughed lightly into her sleeve, looking at the rock fields through the window. The ticking of the clock was the only indication that time was indeed moving forward as the war of attrition dragged on.

Then, finally, Pinkie sat up, wiping a forehoof across her nose as she did so. “I wanna be happy, too, Maud.” she began, at last looking into her sister’s light turquoise eyes. “I do. But it’s...it’s really hard.”

Maud frowned, scooting closer to her sister.

“Life just isn’t fun now. Every day, I wake up, and I feel sad, and scared, and lonely. All the things that used to make me happy don’t work anymore.” she continued as her voice began to waver. She brought up a forehoof to wipe the tears welling up in her eyes. “It hurts, Maud. No matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about it!”

Maud wrapped her forehooves around Pinkie, who in turn returned the embrace as she began to weep. She let it all out at once, digging her tear-soaked face into her sister’s chest. “I can’t stop thinking about them, Maud!” Pinkie said, squeezing her hard. “It should have been me instead of them! It’s my fault they’re dead!”

“No.” Maud squeezed back, leaning her head against Pinkie’s. “Do not think like that. It was not your fault.” she said, gently stroking Pinkie’s scarred backside.

Pinkie loosened her grip a little. “No, you weren’t there...you don’t know what happened!” she moaned, shaking her head over and over. “I watched Dashie die, because I c-couldn’t save her before he cut off her head...a-and then, he m-made me cut her up, and, a-and…”

“What?” Maud’s eyes widened as she hesitated for a moment. She looked down at her sister, her pupils dilated for just a moment. “I...I would never lie to you, Pinkie. Whatever happened was…it was not your fault.” she reassured nevertheless, quickly regaining her composure.

“No, you’re wrong!” Pinkie snapped, abruptly breaking away from the embrace. “Just be quiet! You weren’t there!” she yelled, her face flushed a deep red. “You don’t know anything!”

“Pinkie, I-”

“Shut up! Just shut up, Maud!”

Maud leaned away slightly, saying nothing.

“Everypony tries to cheer me up like they know what happened! Like they’ve been through what I’ve been through! They don’t know anything! Not you, not my stupid friends, not anypony! Just go away!”

The mattress moved up as Maud got up off the bed. “I’m sorry, Pinkie. I just want to help you. I love you. We all do.”

Pinkie scowled. “Whatever.” she spat, blowing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. “I knew it was a mistake trying to talk to you. Like you’d understand any better.”

Maud looked down, watching her hooves as they shook on the hardwood floor. “Goodbye, Pinkie.” She said softly, turning to leave. Without another word, she stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Pinkie grumbled to herself, sitting up to remove the book from its place under her belly. Glancing at the door briefly, she picked up her pencil and continued writing.

nopony understands me. they don’t know what its like to be me, to see the things i’ve seen. isn’t it funny how you can be surrounded by lots of ponies and still feel alone?

She was just so sick of it all. The nightmares, the panic attacks, the flashbacks. All she ever seemed to do was yell at other ponies. And she hated that more than anything. But inside of her brewed a fuming, seething angst that begged to be released.

I just want the pain to stop. I can’t take this anymore. I just want it all to be over, she thought, looking out her window at the east field. The very same field that she had once worked and played in as a child, where she had seen her first rainbow, and smiled for the first time. Now, it only served as a reminder of days past. When she used to be happy.

She thought coming back to her old childhood home would make her feel good again. She thought that all she needed was some time alone with her kin, away from the hustle and bustle of Ponyville. That it would make the constant pain fade away into nothingness.

Looking back, she admitted to herself, it was a pretty silly thing to think.

She turned her attention back to her journal and resumed her journal entry.

i can’t take this anymore. i’m so sorry, journal. tomorrow’s the day i’m finally gonna feel happy again. i don’t care what anypony else thinks. i’m gonna do it.

Letting the pencil drop from her mouth to the floor, Pinkie got up and walked over to the desk that housed her medication. Without a second thought, she placed one of the pills on her tongue, washing it down with a glass of water before hopping back into bed.

* * *

Pinkie’s eyes darted open. Immediately, she looked to the side at the clock on her wall.

“Oh my gosh!” She gasped, throwing herself out of bed with a burst of energy she hadn’t felt in weeks. Today was Maud’s final day with the family before she would leave for her final year of school, as well as the day of Rainbow Dash and Applejack’s joint funeral. Though Pinkie and her family were invited, Pinkie had elected not to attend.

Her star-struck parents couldn’t pass up such an invitation to see the Princesses, however. Unfortunately, Maud’s travel schedule didn’t sync up, so while Maud was leaving with them, she was to be dropped off at the train station on their way to Canterlot.

If Pinkie’s plans worked out, this would be the last chance she would have to see any of them for a very long time. It was almost a strange feeling, she thought, suddenly caring so much about something.

Pinkie darted out of her room and down the hallway “Hello?” Pinkie called from the top of the stairwell. She quickly trotted down the set of stairs, relieved to see her older sister at the bottom. “Wait a second!”

“Pinkie Pie?” Maud said, a hint of joy in her monotone as she watched her descend the stairs.

“I just, um…” Pinkie began, teetering back and forth in place. “Before you all go...I, um, I’m sorry I yelled at you. I can be really stupid sometimes.”

Maud nuzzled Pinkie. “Do not worry about it. It was wrong of me to have argued with you.” she said, turning the small display of affection into a full-blown hug.

“Nngh…” Pinkie grunted, tensing up in her sister’s embrace. She failed to return the hug, opting instead to simply stand as still as a statue while Maud wrapped her forelegs around her neck. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her sister just as much, but the plans stirring in the back of her mind made it difficult to decide whether or not she should bother humoring her family.

Would it be better to act like nothing would happen, or say goodbye one last time?

But just as Maud was beginning to pull away, Pinkie extended her forelegs outwards, wrapping them around her older sister and pressing her own chest to hers. When Maud once again did the same, Pinkie couldn’t help but feel her body trembling.

In her arms was her idol, the pony she had looked up to all throughout her childhood. Whenever she felt down, got hurt, or fell ill, her big sister Maud was always there to kiss her wounds and help her get better. Whenever her mother couldn’t be there, Maud would always be at her side, tucking her in and reading her bedtime stories.

Such was the case even today. It was Maud who had helped her through countless hardships, and Pinkie had hoped that Maud and the rest of her family would be able to help her through the coming months as well. As it turned out, however, nopony, not even Maud, could help her get her smile back.

It was almost like Pinkie was a big pink balloon, just like the ones on her flank. Sometimes, something would happen to make a bit of helium leak out of her, but somepony would always make sure she got back to being fully inflated. A smile here, a passing compliment there, and before long Pinkie was back at one-hundred percent.

But this was different. Pinkie was fully deflated, and no matter how much helium she got, she didn’t get any better. Every bit would go right through one end and out the other, like trying to inflate a broken balloon.

That’s the simplest way she could explain it to herself. She had been popped.

Pinkie held Maud for a few more moments before finally releasing her. Quickly, she wiped a hoof across her face, wiping the tear-soaked appendage on her belly. “I forgive you.”

Pinkie was barely able to finish her sentence before Igneous Rock trotted into the room, the rest of the Pie family in tow. “Pinkamena! I wasn’t expecting you to be up so early. Have you changed your mind about coming with us?” he said, grabbing his stetson off the coat rack.

“Um, no. I, um...have a tummy ache.” Pinkie replied, rubbing her stomach to emphasize her point. “I wouldn’t want to slow you guys down.”

Cloudy Quartz pouted. “Oh, you poor thing!” She said, starting toward the kitchen. “Do you need some stomach tablets?”

“No, that- that’s’ okay, mom.” Pinkie said, trying her best to hide her trembling hooves. “I just need to lay down.”

Cloudy Quartz pouted. “Well, alright, dear.”

“‘Shame you can’t come along.” Igneous said, shaking his head as he turning to Pinkie. “But if you an’ Maud’ve already said your goodbyes, I guess that’s alright.”

“Yeah, we just did.” Pinkie said, suppressing the anxious lump developing in her throat. Walking over to where they were standing, Pinkie nuzzled her mother and kissed her father on the cheek. “Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.”

“Goodbye, dear.” Cloudy Quartz replied. It was possible, however, that this response had fallen on deaf ears. By the time it was spoken, its recipient had already turned her attention elsewhere.

“I’ll miss you guys so much.” Pinkie said, pulling her two younger sisters into a hug. She squeezed hard, nearly lifting them up off the ground. “I’m really sorry about how mean I’ve been.”

Marble, while short of breath, did her best to return the gesture. Limestone, however, scoffed at the show of affection. “Geez, Pinkie.” she said, wiggling away from Pinkie’s tight grip. “Thanks, but you’re acting like you’re never going to see us again. We’re just leaving for the afternoon.”

At that, Pinkie released her sisters and stepped away. “Oh yeah, sorry.” she said, forcing out a laugh.

“You’re so weird sometimes, Pinkie.” Marble grinned. “Love you, though.”

Igneous straightened his stetson. “We’ll be home by seven.” he reassured, “And if Maud’s going to catch her train, we’d best leave as soon as we can.”

Cloudy Quartz nodded in agreement. “Your father is right. Let’s get going, girls.”

“Oh.” Pinkie said, watching as the rest of her family began shuffling out the door behind Igneous. She put her head down. “O-Okay then. Bye, everypony.”

One by one, the five Pies stepped outside, leaving Pinkie alone in the foyer. Maud followed at the very end of the line. Before stepping out the door, she turned to look back at her sister. “Do not get into too much trouble, okay?” She said with a grin. “I love you more than you can ever imagine, Pinkie.”

Pinkie looked up, but by the time she did, Maud had already disappeared from view. Pinkie stared at the thin ray of light cast through the door frame by the morning light, watching with a heavy heart as it slowly shrunk. Then, as the door clicked shut, it disappeared, having at last been snuffed out completely.

Pinkie looked down, feeling her heart beating out of her chest. “I love you too.”