Lustmare Spoon and the Elements of Sexual Prowess

by Gweat and Powaful Twixie

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Random
Length: 6393

Cadance’s libido is running rampant, causing her to rampage across Equestria draining stallions dry. The mane six are summoned to activate the Elements of Sexual Prowess to end Cadance’s reign of sex.

Shining Armor is suffering from a kidney stone, and is unable to fulfill his duties as a husband. Cadance does not take the news well, losing control to her libido in only 20 hours.

Now, Cadance is having sex with every stallion in Canterlot. If she reaches the princesses and casts her gender swap spell, the threesome shall be so mind-blowing amazing, that Cadance will turn into the goddess of sex, and become unstoppable.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-13 07:20:03 UTC

Chapter 1

Lustmare Spoon and the Elements of Sexual Prowess

Twilight Sparkle stepped off the train and into a nightmare. Her and the elements had been summoned to respond to the latest crisis in Canterlot. Celestia’s letter had stopped halfway, right after mentioning they should come dressed in their “Dangerous Mission Outfits.” This thrilled Pinkie Pie to no end, however the rest of them were not so enthusiastic to be in the black latex catsuits in the middle of summer at three in the afternoon.

Because black catsuits are totally safe when you’re in danger.

All around them lie the stallions of the town, moaning and crawling along the sidewalk like zombies. Twilight walked up to one of them.

“Donut Joe? What happened here?” Twilight asked.

“She... came... out of nowhere... She sucked me dry...” Joe whispered with an obscenely large smile on his face.

“Awesome! I knew it was vampires!” Dash shouted.

“No. . . worse. . .” Joe coughed a couple times. “Cadance.” He collapsed onto the ground, either in a coma or dead.

Fluttershy put her ear down to his chest and determined the latter. Joe was dead and it was super tragic. “He’s dead... And also smells really good...” she whispered before licking him. “Mmm... doughnut mixed with something else.”

“Ah reckon we ought to find Cadance and figure out what’s goin’ on,” Applejack said.

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” Dash replied.

“Not now, girls. If my calculations are correct, Cadance’s libido is running wild! If we don’t find her and offer her a reprieve, she could become Nightmare Cadance!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Darling, you absolutely going to have to share with me the you methodology for how one ‘calculates libido’ one day. Such information is indispensable” said the pony who talks like that. “Actually make it an all-day date, that would be fabulous.”

The girls made their way towards Shining and Cadance’s house. All along the street stallions had been spent and left where they fell. It was total and complete, ironic devastation, which usually annoyed the hell out of every one, but it was mixed with sex and therefore okay. Carrot Top’s mane had been replaced with long orange apparati, that were not carrots, and subsequently abused evident of the glistening liquid atop them. Hoity Toity’s hiney had been shinyed, and now he whinnied a grinny, happy, moany groany. Most horrifying and ironic of all of that Fancy Pants was now wearing pants.

Dash had to wipe her chin to hide the drool, and continued to hover out of sight where her stiff wings wouldn’t be noticed. Pinkie Pie had a look of envy in her eye when she saw a stallion spread-eagle in a bed of daisies. Rarity looked appalled. It was unladylike to leave your stallion restrained in public.

Fluttershy wondered why everypony was taking a nap outside.

Applejack continued to walk ahead of the rest. She was upset that the princess had invoked a clause in the “Elements of Harmony agreement. Page 32, section IV, subsection C.” It required the elements to perform duties not only as Harmony, but as the Periodic Elements, the Fifth Element, and the Elements of Sex.

Today, she wasn’t the Element of Honesty. She was the Element of Horniness, the worst element of all the six. Being horny meant she wasn’t allowed release by it’s own ridiculous definition. She was to stay perpetually unsatisfied which left her continuously walking on three legs while the other one went to make her the “Element of Motherfucking Goddamn Release Already”.

Stupid elements.

They reached Shining’s house without further incident, to find him laying in bed in agony.

“Shiny! What did she do to you?!” Twilight cried out.

“She. . . I got a kidney stone. We haven’t done it in like— twenty hours...” Shining said weakly. “You’ve got to bring her back home before she sexes her way across Equestria.”

“Darling, one does not simply ‘bring’ the Princess of Love home when she is on a rampage to satiate her sexual appetite,” Rarity said.

“It’s dangerous to go alone, so take this.” Shining hoofed a ring over to Twilight.

“This. . . is a magical limiter! If we get close enough to put this on her long, rigid horn. . .” Twilight said.

“Yes, this ring will make any horn flaccid as the day the unicorn was born,” Shining replied. “Take this one ring that rules them all, use it to find her. This one ring will bring her home and in the darkness bind her.”

“Um . . . can we stop with the bad references?” Fluttershy asked. The other ponies glared at her. “I um. . . mean, if that’s okay with you?” She backed up into a corner and smiled. The others thought she was shy, but as the Element of Submission, she actually got insanely horny every time a pony asserted their will over her. She didn’t want to tell anypony about it because it’d paint that whole Iron Will incident in an awkward light. The entire not-paying-him-thing at the end of that exchange held countless implications.

“So, how do we get close enough to put the ring on her horn? Are we sure her horn isn’t too big? I had that problem once, I kept trying to cram myself on the horn and I just couldn’t get it in. Turns out the trick is cupcake batter!” Pinkie shouted.

“Yeah. . . I’m going to pretend you didn’t just plant that visual in my head,” Shining said. “She’s headed towards the castle. If she captures the princesses, she’ll use the Girdle of Masculinity on them, transforming them into Alicorn stallions with endless stamina....”

Shining sat up in bed, groaning as the calcium deposit in his kidney sent a sharp pain down his urethra. “If she had sex with Celestia, I’ll never be able to satisfy her in the bedroom again. She’ll become. . . Lustmare Spoon—ing.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Pinkie yelled, looking up at the ceiling at a forty-five degree angle.

“You’re so random Pinkie, nopony is up there looking down on us, watching our adventure,” Dash said.

“Of course they are, see right there! The guy with one hoof on the keyboard and the other hoof on his—”

“Pinkie! Phrasing!” Twilight shouted. Twilight slapped Pinkie’s pink and she came instantly, writhing on the ground in pleasure. In times of sexual crisis, Twilight became the most magical element of all: The Element of Climax. Seeing the jealous looks of her other four friends, Twilight magically slapped them too. Everypony except Applejack, who was legally bound against it, dropped to the ground in a mind-blowing magigasm.

“Also...” Shining Armor coughed. “Our grocery list is on that ring, if you could take care of that for us, that would be great. Just place it in some lubricant and it shows in this cool burning font effect” He passed it to Twilight, and held his hooves up. “No givies backsies!” He coughed again before pretending to pass out. “You make enough money little sis...”

Everypony left the house with the one ring and set off towards the top of Mount Canterlot, to the castle of the Royal Alicorn Sisters.

A familiar moan caught their attention. They looked into the gutter to find Blue Blood wriggling around.

“Hahaha!” Rarity laughed and continued to laugh at the idiot’s misfortune.

“P-please help! Cadance said I-i’m not worthy! S-she tied me up and denied me release.” Blue Blood whimpered.

Dash looked the prince over and whistled in approval. “Well, I can see the dilemma. With that amount of latex tape, you’re gonna be mummified in the middle of the street for days before you wiggle your way free. If your stallionhood wasn’t the size of twig, I might release you myself, but I’m on a schedule, so and we’re gonna leave you here, ‘kay?”

The girls chuckled and began to walk away, leaving Blue Blood screaming and grinding against a dirty gutter in a desperate attempt to get free.

Dash smiled and imagined how many latex outfits and latex accessories Cadance must own. As the Element of Latex it was her most sacred duty to ensure the safety of all things latex by testing them out.

So, she was a ultra-specific, glorified, government products tester that was shamelessly tied into an ancient, magical set of artifacts in an attempt to keep her from asking about benefits, or being paid— or workers safety, but it was okay. Even though she’d spent the total summation of 127 hours fighting for her life against latex traps that went wrong, Dash got to keep some of the better latex toys to take home with her. Also, her primary testing partner was Princess Luna.

They don’t call her Princess of the Night for nothing.

“Don’t give me that look, AJ! You’re just jealous that you don’t get to play with me as much as Luna does.”

Sure enough, the horny Applejack was looking at Dash with a hateful glare in her eye. While Applejack was bucking trees and watching Big Mac get hit on by every mare in town, Dash was getting more action then every other mare in town combined. And she got it all from Luna and Celestia. Applejack got approximately zero action unless one counts the trees she grinded up against regularly.

Enough time alone in the fields had made her the Element of Horniness long before she was the Element of Honesty.

The ponies halted at the entrance to the castle. Royal guards littered the streets in the likeness of really sexual visual imagery— let’s go with used condoms at a rave. Not a single member remained upright, neither did the guards. Twilight walked up to one of them, who seemed to be shielding another pony.

He rolled over with a moan. “Please. . . he’s only sixteen! He has a girlfriend!”

Rarity looked down at the young stallion in pity. His first time should have been special, a tender excursion where he’d experience the loving, soft touch of a sweet mare. She’d have been glad to take him into her boutique and do him such the favour, binding and gagging him of course. She imagined him crying as she teased his member to the cusp for an hour straight with a mix of pain and pleasure. She’d work him to just the right point and tip him over the edge with a light kiss. He’d shake and convulse and plead for her gentle touch to accompany the release. That was her favourite part, watching them beg and then beating them senseless. She’d meet those pleads with relentless whipping and maniacal laughter. She was the Element of Domination after all.

Rarity may have found the teenager lacking in the size department, but she never passed on an opportunity to put a stallion in their proper place.

They continued forward until they passed through the front doors of the castle. They could hear shouting ahead. Cadance must not have made it up to the tower where the Princesses were no doubt cowering under their beds, waiting for the Elements to save Equestria. . . again.

Pinkie bounded over several unconscious guards. Kinky Pinkie the element of, you guessed it, kinkiness, surveyed the scene. “Breath play, snuff, self-bondage, futanari, electricity, age-regression, milking, dolls, role-play, incest, even humanization. . . Cadance used every fetish in the book! That poor stallion looks like he even had his hooves nibbled off!”

Having been thoroughly acquainted with the situation and their own unique talents, the sexy six stepped through the door to the Princess’ tower.

Ahead of them lay the first challenge. The first of six, to be exact, that would test each of them. If they made it past all six challenges, they could claim the Elements of Sexuality and use them to restore Cadance to normal.

The first challenge was a room made entirely of latex. As soon as Pinkie trotted in, a spell triggered on the wall and plastered her with liquid latex, immobilizing her.

“Hmm, looks like we have a classic stallion-trap set up in here,” Dash said. “Me and Fluttershy can fly through an—”

Dash was interrupted as a giggling Fluttershy threw herself to the same spot where Pinkie Pie had been. A second later, she joined the pink pony in a mass of gelatinous, quickly drying latex. Unlike Pinkie, Fluttershy was very obviously enjoying it.

“Right. . . so, I’ll fly across and de-activate it. If you step on the latex, it’ll trap you too!” Dash warned.

Applejack had already begun grinding against it in a futile attempt to get off. “I hate mah life.”

Dash flew around latex walls, spider web launchers, swinging weights, and phallic shaped objects. She landed on the far side of the room and approached the big red “Emergency Shutoff” button.

“Finally, Dash, we thought you’d never come,” Soarin said.

Dash turned to face him. Soarin was holding two leashes in his mouth. At the end of each leash was Spitfire and Lightning Dust. They were wearing skin-tight latex body-suits, complete with dog collars and ring gags.

“We’ve been waiting for you to join the Wonderbolts as the new Team Latex Captain,” Sorain explained. “Together, we will dominate every nubile mare on the team.”

Spitfire moaned, her wings stretching against their tight latex prison.

“Whoa! That’s 3.5mm latex, and the shine! You must have been rubbing their bodies all over with special oils for hours to get that beautiful sheen!” Dash’s wings couldn’t have been more erect if they were made of hardened steel. Her tongue hung out of her mouth as she imagined all the fun they could have together.

“Yes, Dash, join us. I will show you latex beyond imagination. Just leave your friends, Cadance’s guards will round them up and cocoon them shortly. They will join our harem, forever!” Soarin began to laugh, tugging on the leashes and bringing the mares to their knees.

“Now, Dash, which one do you want to please you first?” Soarin asked.

Dash looked between them. The large Soarin, the agile Spitfire, or the snarky Lightning Dust. She was about to choose Dust, that mare needed to be taught some respect, when she heard Twilight call out.

Dash looked back towards her friends in time to see the latex walls closing to block off her view.

“Choose, Dash. Join us on the latex side!”

“I. . .” Dash pictured herself as queen of latex, before remembering the sheer joy of watching Applejack be constantly horny and unable to get release.

“I choose my friends. Thanks, maybe next time.” Dash smiled and hit the emergency stop button.

“No!” Soarin yelled. He backed up slowly, and then ran down a hallway to escape. The two latex-bound mares remain standing there looking at Dash with hope in their eyes.

“Sorry, mares, but you’re not getting off that easy.” Dash took their leashes in her mouth. “You two could come in handy later, Celestia knows somepony will have to oil up my latex catsuit by the end of this adventure. If you two behave and treat my just right, I’ll let you go in a week or two.”

The six ponies and two pet pegasi resumed their walk towards Cadance.

After making four right turns, they found themselves back where they started.

“I told you! It’s right, right, right, left, right, left! If we do anything else we’ll just end up back in the same spot! I’ve done this level fifty times!” Pinky yelled.

Fluttershy moaned softly with every step. After her and Pinky had been rescued, she couldn’t take her mind off how well Cadance would treat her if she submitted to her will. Perhaps Cadance on a sexual rampage wasn’t so bad after all?

“Uh, girls?” Twilight called. Ahead of them was their next test.

It was a poorly lit room. The walls were large mossy cobblestones. Several wooden tables and support beams were spread across the room. Everything from chains to handcuffs adorned the walls.

In the middle of the room sat Big Mac with a pair of hoof cuffs and a blindfold.

“Mac!” Applejack cried out. She ran into the middle of the room to be with her brother.

“Sis? What happened ta me? One second ah was back on the farm tryin’ my darndest to fix a rain gutter and the next. . .”

“It’s okay, Mac, Ah’m gonna get you out of here.”

“Wait!” Rarity called out. As soon as Applejack helped him stand up, a pressure plate activated. The doors to the room slammed shut behind them.

The six mares, two pet pegasi, and farm stallion were now trapped in the small dungeon.

“Horseapples!” Applejack shouted.

“It’s okay, I know what to do,” Rarity said. “This is a replica of the dungeon beneath the tavern in Ponyville. I just need to break your miserable big brother and the door will open and let us out.”

“No way! That don’t even make sense!” she protested. “Y’all aren’t dominatin’ my brother!”

“It’s the only way.” Rarity looked to the hundreds of instruments across the walls and began picking out her favourites.

“Oh,” Dash said. “So I wasn’t supposed to dominate Fluttershy? Cause she just kinda did all this by herself.”

In the corner, Fluttershy had been tightly bound on the back of a large stallion mannequin. Her legs were stretched as far as they would go, and the mannequin was vibrating. There was a slot near the front of it marked “25¢” Also, Fluttershy had somehow found an enormous red ball gag and managed tied herself up. Spitfire and Lightning Dust looked on in envy.

“No, Rainbow, Fluttershy doesn’t count. As you can see, she dominates herself,” Rarity said. She sighed and began to circle Big Mac. “No, I know Cadance, and I know domination. We’re gonna have to break Big Mac.”

“Eeyup,” Mac said with a wink.

“Wait just a minute, y’all want Rarity ta dominate ya?” Applejack said.

“Y’all don’t think ah really go to the tavern just to get drunk, do ya sis? Rarity here has been talkin’ ‘bout this fer age—”

“NOPE!” Applejack yelled, slamming her hooves over her ears. “LA LA LA! I can’t hear you!” She walked over into a corner and looked for something to relieve her horniness and take her mind of her brother.

As hard as she tried, she just couldn’t get herself off while her brother watched.

The second Big Mac spoke, Rarity’s face twisted with loathing. She cracked a light flail across his back, furious.

“Hey!” Mac shouted.

She followed it up with a wide arc from a sharper whip. It dug into his back, leaving a decent sized welt him. He yelped. “You will refer to me as Mistress,” she said firmly as she unleashed a relentless serenade across his back. Lashing after lashing left his back bruised and throbbing. Normally she wouldn’t be so rough on a pony, but Big Mac was an exception. “Am I clear?

“Nope,” Mac cursed, trying his hardest not to cry.

Rarity cracked the whip hard across his flank, drawing a thin line of blood. He hissed and she let his ragged breathing fill the silence. “Am I clear?!”

“Mistress...” he coughed out.

“Better, but you will say, ‘yes, mistress’, and ‘no, mistress’. I hear one bloody ‘eeyup’ or ‘nope’, you will regret it,” she sneered.

“Yes, mistress.” A few tears escaped his eyes. Rarity eyed them maliciously, a cruel smile curling across her lips. This was too easy.

“Oh, Big Macintosh,” she cooed. “Aren’t you a big, tough stallion? You aren’t crying, are you?” She cracked the whip across his back again he whimpered. “You aren’t going to weep like a colt while degrade you in front of all my friends and your sister, are you? I mean, don’t you want to pleasure me?” Big Mac gulped as Rarity sat down and presented her hooves to him. “Clean my hooves. Use only your tongue, nothing else.”

“Yes, Mistress.” He timidly began to lick his mistress’ hooves clean of the even the smallest speck of dirt as she whipped him lightly over and over again. Much to the affirmation of Rarity’s claim, all eight mares in the room were watching them intimately, some of them enjoying it too much. He grew stiff and blushed, humiliated, only furthering their interest in him. Rarity moaned, egging him on to kiss her hooves passionately.

She beat him over the back hard.

“What did I say? Did I give you permission to kiss any part of me?” she scolded, unleashing a few more hard lashings. She nodded over to a table. “Get on the table.”

He looked at it and down to his own restraints. He didn’t have the means to walk briskly, let alone climb onto a table. He hesitated.

“I said, get on the table you poor excuse for a stallion.”

‘Y-yes, mistress. “He stumbled and tripped over the edge of the wooden table, exposing his flank and underside of his stallionhood to her. It twitched and dripped.

Rarity smiled as he put himself into an unexpected, but satisfactory position. She levitated an ensemble of bindings off the wall until his legs were spread and he couldn’t move an inch.

The door was slowly slid open. All the mares watched as it slowly raised itself higher and higher. Rarity slammed a large bit into Mac’s mouth, fastening his head down to the table with it. The door rose higher. Rarity slapped and teased the hanging member, even gracing it with a few licks as she beat him over his flank. He moaned and screamed, tears coursing his cheek.

Even Applejack caught herself taking a guilty peak at Big Mac. He looked larger than ever strapped with his rump high in the air. The mares were enthralled as the door to the exit rose higher and higher, the large solid door at a nearly ninety-degree angle to the ground.

Big Mac was panting heavily. At this point, just the sound of the whip whistling in the air caused him to flinch. Rarity had started missing him on purpose, just to mess with him.

Rarity took his member in her mouth for just a second and the door slammed into the fully upright position. He groaned as it hit her warm silkiness, after which, she spit it out.

“Oh, wonderful! The door is open! Ciao, Darling,” she said sweetly to him, kissing him on his bruised behind.

All the mares walked out of the room, more than one of them discovering a new fetish. Even with all his great strength, Big Mac could only bounce up and down in his tied position as he cried and pled for release.

Dash tugged on the leashes to the bound pegasi. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

“Easy for you to say, Darling. I was just getting started. I didn’t get any souvenirs either,” Rarity pouted.

“Blah blah, we all know who best element is,” Dash quipped.

“Enough chit chat, let’s hurry up and get this over with. I have two weeks paid vacation I’m dying to use. I wonder if I can teach Spike to start an IV, maybe I could take more time off,” Twilight said as naughty thoughts danced through her head.

She swung the doors open to see what trial awaited them next. At least, unlike Nightmare Moon, Twilight was almost guaranteed a happy ending.

That is, until she saw what the next challenge was. In front of her was a bizarre scene and she immediately regretted choosing the side of good over sexy.

The room contained several jars full of jelly, with a stallion swimming around in one. There was a nursing exam room complete with medical instruments from spreaders to stirrups. On the far wall were machines producing large pony dolls, in fact a life size pony could probably fit in the machine.

“Oh it’s my turn!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Kinky Pinkie time to get freaky!” She began running around like a foal in a candy store. The only difference: the candy was sex and the foal was the physical embodiment of all childhood innocence perverted beyond recognition.

“Great, what are we supposed to do to pass this test? Wait, I don’t want to know,” Twilight said.

“Oh it’s easy! We just have to um. . . I think. . .” Pinkie stopped and looked around. Every fetish from asphyxiation to xenophilia was represented in this room. A pervert such as Pinkie or her many fans would have loved to spend an hour in this room.

“Any many miny moe, pick a pony by their hoof, Granny Pie says to pick the very best one and it. Is. You!” Pinkie opened her eyes, pointing to the machine that was producing pony dolls. “Okie dokie lokie! We just have to turn one of us into a sex doll!”

“Wait, you’re saying that all we have to do to pass this test is loosely participate in just one of these fetishes?” Twilight clarified. “That’s too easy.”

“Whoa, no way ah’m lettin’ one of you get in there. How are we ‘sposed to use the elements all dollified?” Applejack asked.

“Well then what do we do? We left Big Mac in the other room,” Dash said.

“That’s easy, silly filly, we’ll just have one of your pets use it Dash!” Pinkie said.

“Oh no, go get your own pegasi to play with! These two are mine!” Dash shouted.

“Mmph,” Spitfire said, eyes wide in fear. Lightning Dust seemed to be laughing at her, but all she managed was a similar “mmphm.”

Rarity sighed and rolled her eyes. “Darling, I’ll let you borrow a few clients but we have to continue on in our journey.”

Dash was about to answer when they heard a noise from the machine behind them. There was a tuft of pink tail hair sticking out of the opening of the machine.

“Fluttershy!” They all shouted, rushing to the machine. Inside, they saw her being sprayed with plastic and painted into a cute little doll. A cute little doll that coincidently had large red lips and a ridiculous grin.

By the time she came out the other side she had a one-piece doll suit on. It added a sheen to her now-plastic hairs, and a bright gasping “O” for a smile. Fluttershy batted her eyelashes seductively.

“Ah’ll be damned if that ain’t the best trial yet,” Applejack said. “Fluttershy, Sit!”

She obediently sat on the floor as Applejack approached her.

“Stick out your tongue,” Applejack ordered.

“Applejack!” Twilight shouted. “We don’t have time for this, the door is open, let’s go!”

“Aww,” Fluttershy whimpered. She went and put her latex catsuit on over her new plastic skin, which when you think about it doesn’t make much sense, but it sure sounds hot.

Pinkie Pie vanished behind the machine and came back out carrying a Lyra doll. “Hey! Look what I’ve found, it’s Lyra!” The plastic had hardened around her, making it difficult for Lyra to move or protest as Pinkie stuck her in her mane. Because it’s Pinkie Pie. She can fit dozens of cupcakes in her mane, why not a pony?

The next hallway had more guards in it. They had been knocked out in bliss by Cadance. Each one was chained to a nearby wall and covered in mustard.

“Really, mustard? I always thought Cadance was more of a Narby’s Horsey sauce pony,” Twilight said.

Rarity turned her nose up and tried not to smell the offensive condiment. “No accounting for taste.”

“Let’s hurry up. . . if that’s okay with you. I’d like to take a nap and show Luna my new outfit,” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah, and I’ve got a pony pet play date!” Dash gleefully said.

The door to the next room swung open. Inside were male doppelgangers of the entire mane six.

“Oh no, I’ve read this story,” Pinkie said. “Do not want!”

Pinkie turned to run as the door to the room slammed shut behind them.

“No no no! I refuse to be subject to rule 63! DO YOU HEAR ME!” Pinkie screamed.

“Relax darling, my name is Dusk and the six of us will show you ladies a very good time. You just need. . . to submit,” Dusk said.

“Hmm, this must be the trial of submission,” Twilight said. “It would appear we are to each submit to be ravaged before moving on, and Fluttershy has volunteered to go first.”

Everypony looked over at Fluttershy, who was taking care of Flutterguy in what this observer can only described as the most fucked up yet sexy case of pony on pony loving that he has ever witnessed. It didn’t take long before Fluttershy had submitted fully and her element appeared around her neck. She rolled over and allowed Flutterguy to tie her down for round two.

“This is so not cool,” Dash said.

“Don’t be like that,” Manbow ‘Kickass’ Masher said. “Why don’t you, me, and your two friends go over there? Right next to that medieval rack from the Gryphon kingdom. We’ll see just how far I can stretch those wings.”

“And you, whore,” a white unicorn said. “On your knees!”

“Why I’ve neve—”

Rarity was interrupted by a whip that came out of nowhere, cutting deeply into her skin above the cutie mark. She nearly screamed, however a lady never screams. Nor does a lady spit.

“My name is Master to you, slave!” The white unicorn was the evil clone of a brutal dominatrix known as Rarity. That made him, like, super-dominating.

“What a rude stallion! Twilight, blast this ruffian with you—”

Master levitated a gag into Rarity’s mouth and began inflating it with his magic. Once it could inflate no further, and Rarity’s muffled screams had stopped, he whipped her again. Rarity fired up her horn to protest, but he pulled out his own magical limiter and slapped it on her horn.

He rubbed her horn until her knees gave out, then dragged her behind a curtain to continue dominating the dominatrix. It was steamy. Literally, steam was rising from above the curtains as they did Celestia-knows-what back there. I can only assumed it involved his manhood, a whip, and spreader bars.

By now, three of the six had received their elements. Fluttershy had received her element five times already.

Twilight smiled over at Dusk. “So, Master, why don’t you show me what a talented unicorn can do with a little summoning magic and a ‘Come to Life’ spell.”

“It’d be my pleasure, just get on your knees and beg for it.”

Meanwhile, Applejack had been tied down to a bench and was being tickle-tortured by her male counterpart. Appleguy tormented her relentlessly, making her hornier and hornier with no release in sight. Had Applejack not been so busy laughing, she likely would have been swearing like a sailor pony and ordering him to just shut up and nail her.

The last member of the motley crew, Pinkie Pie, was receiving a shower from Pinkie Guy. It was a combination of about three different unsavory things, as to which the informed reader may reasonably deduce, and a hundred sweet, confectionery things. She couldn’t even taste the semen. As Pinkie Guy provided a shower for Pinkie Pie, her element appeared.

All of the elements had appeared around their necks, with Twilight’s tiara resting on top of her head. The alicorn smiled, they were one step closer to using her vacation days. Twilight dismounted Dusk Shine and gave him a consolatory smile. “Don’t feel bad, when you’ve had an eight day long orgasm from six magical timeless Elements, stallions just can’t get you where you’re going anymore.”

The six ponies, two pegasi pets, and Lyra doll all proceeded out of the room. The cloned stallions of the mane six vanished into a swirl of pink smoke.

At last, they had found Cadance. She had chained Celestia and Luna up to the wall, applying electro-shock nipple clamps liberally to the two mares. Every five to fifteen seconds, as determined by a computer, they shocked them with a random intensity from one to ten. An intensity of five would have given most ponies a heart attack, but alicorns like to sex as hard as they work.

“Soon, I shall finish the spell to turn my Aunt’s into Stallions, and we shall have an ENDLESS ORGY!! Mwahahaha!” Cadance cried out.

“Not so fast!” Twilight yelled. “We’re here to stop you, and then take two weeks paid vacation!”

“What?” Celestia interjected. “You used all your vacation days with Doctor Wh—” The nipple clamps shocked her, sending out wisps of smoke and making her convulse. She seemed to really enjoy it.

“No! The Elements of Fuckery!” Cadance shouted.

“They are called the Elements of Sexual Prowess!” Rarity yelled, to a chorus of “yeah’s.”

“Do you really think you have what it takes to please me, my little ponies? Give it your best shot!”

“Wait, how come I din’t git a test?”

They all looked at Applejack like she was retarded. “You’re the Element of Horniness we’re all horny. I think we all passed, ‘being horny’ a long time ago,” said Twilight.

“Anyway...” Cadance chided.

All the ponies closed their eyes to channel their elements. In hindsight, closing your eyes to do anything in front of an evil villain is not generally a good idea, but whatever. Before they had finished channeling the spell, Cadance slapped them all on their hind lips with her love.

Immediately the ponies fell to the ground riding waves of pleasure from the magic induced love-slap. All of them except Twilight, who had built up a tolerance to climax that not even Discord could overcome. Only a time traveling Doctor and the Element of Climax itself were enough to get Twilight’s motor started.

“Ha! Nice try, Cadance, but their ecstasy only fuels our elements further!”

Twilight’s eyes and horn began to glow a really sexy shade of white.Swirling colors from all the ponies surrounded Twilight, forming the largest dildo ever seen by pony eyes.

The giant marital aid lunged for Cadance, skewering her in the pleasure party submission position.

“Oooohh,” Cadance moaned. “Yes, that’s the spot! Deeper! DEEPER!”

Several things happened which are best not repeated amongst polite company that day. For starters, the Princess of Love began radiating passion straight from her libido. Every pony within two hundred and fifty miles of Canterlot found themselves overwhelmed with the desire to grind against the nearest surface.

To this day, it’s known as “The Day Equestria Stood Dripping Wet.”

As Cadance came down she lapsed into a coma, alongside Twilight. The climax force was strong in the young alicorn Twilight. She would likely be climaxing for weeks, possibly even months, which was rather inconvenient when Celestia expected Twilight to run the town of Ponyville for her.

It was without further adieu that everypony headed home.

Epilogue:

Dash went on to become head of the Wonderbolts. She added at least a dozen more pegasi to her pet collection. They became known as the best latex-clad erotic fliers in all of Equestria. They were also the only one and had warrants out for their arrests on a accounts of public intercourse, ranging in the triple digits. To this day, Spitfire and Lightning Dust refuse to leave their loving owners side.

Rarity expanded the basement of the tavern into a one-stop domination shop. Clientele from around the world came there to be abused by Rarity. Discord even tried it out once, claiming “This is my favorite sex dungeon on the Citadel!” Nopony except Pinkie really got the reference, but Discord didn’t care.

Fluttershy went home to try and figure out how to get out of the doll suit. It was hilarious at first, honest, yet she realized she might be permanently stuck with two large “O” smiles on her lips. Eventually Luna agreed to use her god-powers to take the doll suit off. First, Luna put Fluttershy into a deep sleep and took her down four layers of inception. Twilight calculated that they spent somewhere in the neighborhood of 543 years having sex before the ‘drop’ that woke them both up. Said drop was Twilight using a cattle prod on them, lest they miss breakfast and forget they were dreaming altogether.

Pinkie Pie moved into the castle, turning the room full of kinky fetish stuff into a fetish store. She catered to the needs of every single pony in Equestria. Pinkie had a flawless track record of sending every customer out of her store with a smile.

Applejack went home and started bucking apple trees again. She was so frustrated and sexually wound up, that she cleaved all 4,329 apple trees on the farm in two. She then bucked those halves in half, until she had enough lumber to start her own lumber yard. Eventually, she discovered Braeburn was a third cousin, and not a second cousin. They got married a week later, and haven’t left the honeymoon suite in the three months since. It is said that on a quiet night, you can hear Applejack screaming Braeburn’s name, yet never releasing.

As for Twilight, she spent thirty-seven blissful days riding the waves of orgasm through a galaxy of passion inside a nebula of endorphins. She spent the rest of her life alternating between traveling with Doctor Whooves, and casting the Element of Climax on herself. Even when Discord took over Equestria again, Twilight didn’t care. She had everything she needed inside her, at least, when the Doctor was deep inside her she did.

Cadance went home and began to treat Shining as more than an object of sexual satisfaction. Shining got to stop doing all the chores and housework. Cadance’s nerve endings had been fried and could no longer feel pleasure, thus her libido was kept in check. She never became Nightmare Cadance again. At least, until they gave Cadance a vaginal transplant and accidently prescribed Neighgra performance enhancers, instead of Maretrin painkillers.

Last, but not least, is Shining. A poor, exhausted stallion who faked a story of a kidney stone to get a week off from work. He took that secret with him to his grave at the age of 26, from massive heart failure during clitorus.

And then they all fucked.

The end.