How I Saved Us All From Equestria Girls

by Zinger

Rating: mature
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 1451

I stop twi from entering the portal. I enter it my self and kill them all.

I hear about Equestria Girls. So I commit suicide to stop it all.

You welcome.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-18 08:30:02 UTC

I Bucken Hero

" So bored let's see what's happening in FimFicton today. " I said in a exiting tone. " I hope that story got updated."

I began to scroll through my notifications. Until something caught my eye. It was a post it read "Equestria Girl". " "It better not be what I think it is." I clicked on the title and pressed the video.

The video began to play. " All right my ponies. " I said see my favorite pastel coloured ponies.

"Be careful Twilight Sparkle." Celestia said before Twi entered the portal.

" What the hell?!?!?! "

" Where are my hooves? "

I began to cry. " Don't know, Twilight, I just don't know! "

"Hi I'm Gary.S"

"No, NO, NO, NO NO, NO!!!!!!!!!" I screamed as I punched my monitor. I ran my hands thought my hair. " Alright it's probably not as bad as it seems." I said in desperation. " Hi I'm Gary. " rang through my head.

" Fuck it is as bad. " I said as I slammed my fists on the desk. " Lightbulb. " I said when a idea hit me. I quickly grabbed my dog Tazz. "If Hasbro won't stop the show from coming......." A snake like grin creeped acrossed my face. " Then I will stop it my self."

I ran to my garage, I rummaged through boxes. Until I found the one I was looking for. I dusted it off, it read Weapons in big red letters. I smiled as I pried the top off. I looked to see a shotgun, a pistel, 5 grenades, a buck knife, and a oozy. " Time to save the world. " I said with determination. I strapped all the weapons onto me. " Perfect now the hard part. " I put the barrel of the pistel in my mouth. " Well here goes everything." I thought to my self as I pulled the trigger.

*BANG*

I woke up to a splitting headache. " Ow did it work? " I checked to see if my weapons where still there, and they were. I looked around to see that I was in some sort of dark ally. " Well bump this noise. " I said as I got up, and began to walk to the clearance.

As I edged closer to the exit, I heard talking.

" Well I heard, that Celestia has a test for her today." A snobby pony spoke to another.

" Yes, she apparently going to a different universe. " The other one spoke.

I peeked out to see that I was right next to the castle. " Buck Ya." I yelled as I ran to the entrance of the castle.

" What is that!?!" A guard yelled.

" I don't know but, stop it!" Another one yelled.

The bother began to charge me. " NOPE!" I said as I pulled the shotgun off my back and shot them. They fell to the ground, their blood leaking down the steps. " Sorry about that, but I won't loose. " I said in a cold tone. I continued, I kicked the door down and began making my way down the hall.

" There it is get it, protect the princess. " A platoon of guards shouted.

"Buck my ass." I said trying to pull out the oozy, but the guards tackled me to the ground.

"Your going to pay you monster." A guard said as he raised a knife with his magic to stab me. I flinched as he quickly brought the knife to me. I expected a great deal of pain, but I only felt warm liquid hit my face.

I opened my eyes to see the guard, now had a bloody sword sticking out of his chest, and the rest of the guards dead. The unicorn fell, with him out of my way I saw the cause of their deaths. It was alone white unicorn guard.

He bowed. "Greetings noble human." He said in a calm tone.

"Wait, what, why did you kill them? Why are you helping me?" I said in complete confusion.

"Simple in the legends, it said humans fight for justice. They are honorable, and would never slay a soul unless needed. I am at you command Sir.........."

"My name is Zinger, and yours is, but what legends?"

"Aw so your name name is Zinger, well Sir Zinger my name is Golden Sun. As for legends I will inform you later. But what is you quest?"

"Celestia is opening a portal to a new world. It seems harmless but trust me It will bring about The End Of Days. Celestia doesn't even know the horrors of what she's unleashing. The evil must be purged."

"WHAT WE MUST MAKE, HASTE NOBLE HUMAN. "

"Lead the way."

He began to run down the corridors.  "This is easier then I thought, way earsier. I can't believe I killed someponies. Well then again, I´m going to kill a hell lot more." I thought as I ran from behind.

He stopped in the middle of a hall. He held a hoof to his mouth and made a "Sssshhhh." noise, I nodded. He put a ear to the real and began to feel around. One of his hooves sunk into the wall and opened a secret door./

"Dopness."

He turned to me with a look of confusion. "Whatness?"

"It's nothing let's go, lead the way."

He nodded, and began to trot down the dark passage way. It was cold, dark, and dusty. The air was moist. It was full of Spiderwebs. I cringed.

"You ok?" Golden Sun asked.

"Ya just really hate spiders." I said constantly flailing my arms about to knock the web's away. He just smiled and shook his head.

We finally reached the the end. There was a purple light glowing in the room. I heard voices.

" Are us sure Twi, could be dangerous?" A southern voice said.

"Ya what if there are monsters." A meek voice said.

" I´ll be just fine, promise. "

"Applejack, Fluttershy, and Twilight. She hasn't went through. Good." I turned to Golden Sun. "Lets go, now." He nodded. I cracked my neck, before I took my step. "Well hello, there my little ponies." I said in a calm voice, they all jumped. Obviously they didn't know I was there.

"What in tarn´nation is that?" Applejack said.

The ponies all had curiosity in their eyes, minus Fluttershy hiding behind Rainbow, and Rainbow having a battle stance.

"Greetings My little ponies, I am Zinger. I am here on a mission."

"What mission is that, human?" Celestia asked.

"A simple one, really. To not let you go through the portal. In side the portal, holds pure evil. "

"What evil, does thou mean?" Best pony asked.

"A evil that will cause the end of days, a evil that shall wipe your very existence away. I'm the only one who can stop it. "

"How do we know, that your not trying to trick us?!?!" Rainbow yelled.

"I´m only here, to help promise."

"Do you, Pinkie Promise."

"Of course."

"Well this feller ain´t lie´en, I can tell." AJ said.

" Well human, you may enter. We will wait for you return." Celestia said.

"Thank you your highness." I said with a bow. I cocked my head to motion Golden Sun, to follow me. We walked towards the portal, it was giving of heat. " Well, let's do it." I said as we entered. It sucked us in, it began to swirl us around like a fan. A bright flash of light later, and we were outside the hight school.

I looked over at my companion, who was now changed.I began to giggle.

"What is wrong?" Golden Sun asked.

"You look hilarious." He now was wearing a white shirt that looked to small for him with a giant Sun on the side; blue pants, white shoes, and a long chain hanging from his waist. "Hipster Swag fag." I said now rolling on the ground in fit of laughter.

Golden just rolled his eyes. "Sir Zinger may I ask why we are at a school?"

I cleared my throat. "The evil lies behind those doors. Only act when I tell you, OK!"

He gave a salute. "Do you still have your sword?" I asked. He nodded. "Alright fallow me." I said as I began to push on the school doors. When the doors open, it granted our ears with chatter and speaking of shoes.

"Alright first we find the master mind, then we have our fun with the rest. " I said with a large grin.

TO BE CONTINUED