Three Balloons and a Pinch of Laughter

by Maera Fey

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Other, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1978

The true story of Pinkie Pie's cutie mark

Soâ�¦ that's how Equestria was made!
And now I am going to tell you how Pinkie Pie REALLY got her cutie mark.

The story is on hiatus until I figure out where I want to get with it.

Published 2012-04-10 11:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-14 13:22:23 UTC

Chapter One: The End and the Beginning

Three Balloons and a Pinch of Laughter
By Maera Fey

Chapter One: The End and the Beginning

“Surprise!” Pinkamena Diane Pie shouts. “ You like it? It's called... A PARTY!”

“Ahh!”

Her family members stare in amazement with their eyes and mouths wide open. Even her father drops his favourite sprig of wheat.

Pinkamena’s face splits into a wide smile. She did it! She made them happy! But wait… She takes one more glance. Well, her family certainly looks shocked but happy?

“You like it, right?” the pink filly asks again.

Of course, they like it. They have to! She worked so hard for this! She spent the whole night on the preparations. Not only did she bake a cake (it actually didn’t come out so well but after covering in cream it looks much better, almost edible), Pinkamena also decorated the whole place with confetti, ribbons and balloons. The result is gorgeous, so colorful and beautiful. How could anypony possibly not like it?!

Pinkamena smiles again, even wider. She look at her family with anticipation. Not just looks. Stares.

Mr. Pie closes his eyes, opens them, then closes and opens again. Finally, he takes deep breath and begins:

“Pinkamena Diane Pie–”

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!” Writing “Mrs. Pie shouts” would be not quite adequate, so let me put it this way: Mrs. Pie’s voice must have caused an earthquake in the area of 200 square miles.

“What?” Pinkamena is puzzled. What has hair to do with the party?

Not only she seems to be confused.

“Hair? Hair?!” Mr. Pie turns to his wife. “She had wasted all of our supplies and all you are concern about is her HAIR?!”

“Clyde, please, calm do–”

“Calm down? Calm down! How possibly can I calm down?! See this?” He points ribbons. “And this?” Brown hoof moves towards balloons. “See how much of this stuff is here? Do you have a slightest idea how many bits it must have cost?!”

“Ow, ow! I know!” Pink filly danced with her tiny hoof high up. “It means, I don't know exactly but nice Mr. Salespony said it's much more than I can count so I showed him this huge gemstone you found last week – the one you said was worth a fortune and I should never ever tell about it to anypony. So I showed it to Mr. Salespony. Did I already mention he was really nice? So I showed it to him and asked if that would do. He said that hardly, and asked if I had something more. So I dug out this bits which you hid for a rainy day. Funny, why would anypony need bits on a rainy day? Umbrella I would understand, but bits? So I gave those bits to Mr. Salespony but he still wasn't satisfied so I sneaked to your bedroom and took this secret treasure box in which mother was keeping her family jewels. Finally, Mr. Salespony did agree, but he said that it was special price, only for me. And then he left. He must've been in quite a hurry, because he nearly galloped. And he was really, really, really nice.” Pinkamena looks at her parents’ faces and all the emotions they are expressing. “Umm... Does it mean you don't like my party?”

***

Pinkamena Diane Pie lies on their bed, crying into her pillow. Her flank – still blank, without any cutie mark – hurts so bad she's pretty sure she'll never be able to sit again. But there is something far more worse than that – loud, angry voices behind the wall. She puts her hooves over her ears but she still can hear Mr. and Mrs. Pie arguing. They are blaming each other for not rising Pinkamena properly.

Little filly sobs. She doesn't even know what she did wrong. She only understands that her parents are extremely upset and this is all her fault. The terrible feeling of guilt grab us her by the throat, nearly strangling to death. Just to think all she wanted was to make them smile.

Suddenly, a part of the argument grabs her attention.

“She's just like your mother!” Mrs. Pie snarls.

“Grandma?” Pinkamena is stunned. On the rock farm old Mrs. Pie is extremely rarely spoken of. Curiosity immediately takes place of sorrow. Filly puts her ear to the wall. It isn't really necessary, though. Mr. and Mrs. Pie were fighting so loudly that they can be heard even in Cloudsdale.

That's how our young heroine learns that – unlike she was told – one of her grandparents is still alive and living not very far away, in Ponyville. What's more, from the description given Granny Pie is, no doubt, a real fun-loving pony.

Excited Pinkamena starts to bounce around the room.

“Oh, I just need to pay her a visit! She's sure to know how to make mother, father, and sisters smile!”

And so, do not even thinking about such trivial matters as fresh water, lunch, and a map, Pinkamena Diane Pie, using open window, escapes from her home. Cheerfully singing under his breath (the song about hard work and rockfarming, the only one she knows), she trots toward Ponyville.

On her way she has a brilliant idea of taking a shortcut through Everfree Forest.

Chapter Two: The Hammer of Unicorns

Three Balloons and a Pinch of Laughter
By Maera Fey

Chapter Two: The Hammer of Unicorns

It was such a marvelous idea to go through the Everfree Forest.

Sure, it was a little bit scary at first. The day outside was bright and sunny, but when Pinkamena walked into the forest suddenly everything became dark and full of shadows. The little filly curled up, shivering. Was that some kind of magic?

***

Her parents very often talked about magic. They even had a whole book about it. Ancient, big, heavy volume entitled “The Maneus Mareficarum”, parts of which they sometimes read to theirs daughters. According to the book, in present days witches – or so called “unicorns” – were tolerated by most groups of ponies, but in past days witchcraft used to be a major felony. That was because the witches were the one responsible for social conflicts in Pre-Establishing Equestria Age and summoning evil beings known as Windigoes. Pinkamena Diane never could understand why anyone would do such terrible things. She even asked her father about that. Instead of replying, he read aloud another passage of the volume:

Nightmare Moon had come into the pony society with the intention to destroy it. She worked through ponies by appearing to her victim in the shape of somepony else and convincing him or her to become one of her own. And so the Mare in the Moon was building her ranks of witches, plaguing the land.

But the pink filly still had doubts.

“Are really all unicorns… err, I mean witches, bad? Some of them are doing lots of good stuff, like healing ponies, right?”

Mr. Pie’s pressed his lips tightly. His eyebrows were pulled together, forming deep wrinkles on stallion’s forehead.

“These foul powers are evil,” he snapped. “Even when they pretend to help ponies in fact, they are only polluting them. Magic did not come from Princess Celestia, so could have only come from one place: Nightmare Moon.”

“But doesn’t Princess Celestia do magic on her own?”

This afternoon Pinkamena did not learn anything more on unicorns and magic as she was she was locked up in her room without a dinner but with her flank hurting.

***

The pink filly’s heart was pounding louder and louder. Didn’t “The Maneus Mareficarum” say something about witches going into the woods to dance with Nightmare Moon? Wasn’t Pinkamena Diane Pie in kind of a wood right now? Could she just walked into witches’ Sabbath? Is it possible that making a shortcut wasn’t as splendid idea as she ordinary thought?

And then the filly looked up and giggled. She finally understood.

That was not magic what caused the shade. The upper branches of the trees were so thick together that not much of sunlight had a chance to get through them. In fact, the Everfree Forest wasn’t as dark as it appeared at the first sight. There was enough light to see the lush flora. Never before did young Miss Pie, who all of her short live had spent on a Rock Farm, walk upon such flourishing plants. There was plenty of every kind: grass, herbs, bushes, trees. All seem to be strong, healthy, blooming and – in their own vegetal way – happy.

Pinkamena grinned.

“Maybe the Everfree is not such a bad place as everypony believe?” she thought.

In “The Maneus Mareficarum” there was a passage saying about a group of brave earth ponies whose hearts were pure and full of justice. They saw the corruption spreading through Equestria, and knew there was only one cure for this sickness: set a good example to follow. And so they moved far away from polluted society and formed their own – free of witchcraft – community. They had to live in wilderness, forgotten by everyone else. But even for a second they did not lose their faith, knowing that they were the true light of the world. Town which was set on a hill could not be hidden.

Well, apparently it could, because now nopony knew where exactly this utopian place was. That’s why the family of Pinkamena’s mother moved in this region. They were looking for legendary town, hoping it still existed, but only the pure ones could enter it. So far, the search was not very unsuccessful, because not even the oldest ponies did know where to look. True, the book was mentioning the Everfree Forest, but who would treat seriously the idea of holly town being located in such a dreadful place?

The little filly looked upon the plants growing on their own and clouds moving without pony intervention.

She would.

The forest seemed to be completely free of magic. What other place could have been more perfect to build witchcraft-free town? Maybe before going to Ponyville she should explore a little? At last, what could it hurt?

And so Pinkamena Diane Pie walked deeper into the Everfree Forest in order to find… find… Um, what was it called…? Ah, Sunny Town.

Prologue: How Equestria was Made

Three Balloons and a Pinch of Laughter
By Maera Fey

Prologue: How Equestria was Made

Three little fillies, who we all know as Cutie Mark Crusaders – or simply Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo – are listening to the story with polite smiles on their faces. Smiles which disappear when the last sentence of the tale is spoken.

“And that's how Equestria was made.”

Shocked Scootaloo stops her scooter.

“Wha... huh?”

Little pegasus is interrupted before she can even form her question.

“Look! We're here!” Apple Bloom is right. Somehow Pinkie's tale lasted exactly as much time as they needed to get to the Sugarcube Corner.

“Maybe on the way home I can tell you the story of how I got my cutie mark,” says pink earth pony, trotting towards the doors of the confectionery. “It's a gem!”

Girls stare at each other in confusion.

“Oh, come on,” finally Sweetie Belle says. “She's just being Pinkie Pie.”

“Ugh...” Scootaloo does not seem to be convinced. Nonetheless, she follows her friends to the Sugarcube Corner. The incident completely slips of her mind as she finally sees her hero. „Rainbow Dash! You're here!”

But Pinkie Pie is there too. She thinks about extraordinary ability of pony minds to forget or simply ignore the facts they cannot understand or don't want to understand. While blue pegasus is telling her story, pink mare buries herself deep in the memory of the days long gone.