This isn't a trollfic. Probably.

by Thaums Alt

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Human
Length: 1005

Our human protagonist, Lance Feggot, goes to equestria. Thats pretty much it.

Our human protagonist, Lance Feggot, goes to equestria.
…
Thats pretty much it.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-31 00:29:41 UTC

Feel free to click here. No seriously. Click. Do it. Pls. Now. I'll love you forever. Dude, you're viewing this fic for a reason. Now click. Please. You know what? If you like this title so much, then why don't you marry it? Dude seriously.

Lance Feggot was a regular brownie who lived in a sexy apartment on the top floor of "The Faggoty Apartment Place." He loved My Little Pony and went to faggotfiction.com regularly because he had too much free time. He wrote several fanfics and got over 9001 dislikes but it was okay because his computer screen was always upside-down. Everyone loved Feggot because he was so handsome and sexy and had huge man boobs.

One day Feggot decided to go to Murder Beach South Carolina because he liked sharks. When he arrived he saw a golden teapot in the sand.

Omg I'm going to rub this because I'm so horny thought Feggot. He rubbed it so hard it made him a ejaculate. Then the lamp cummed out a homosexual genie.

"For some odd reason I must grant you three wishes," said the homosexual genie.

"Great." Feggot said in a very bored voice. "First, I want to go to equestria as my oh-sea."

With a snap of his hairy fingers, the genie teleported himself and Feggot into the everfree forest, because that's where every HIE fic starts.

Feggot looked at himself, expecting a jet-black alicorn with a blood-red Vinyl Scratch mane. He instead got a jet-black alicorn with a blood-red Vinyl Scratch mane. "For my second wish, I want to be a faggot." And he was a faggot.

------------------------------------------------------------LATUR---------------------------------------------------------------

Feggot was flying with his badass fagon wings to PonyVille cause why not lol.

"HMM FEGGOT ISNT A PONE NAME I MUST CUM UP WITH A PONE NAME HOW ABOUT SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW YES THAT IS A GREAT PONE NAME," Feggot (OR SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW) said quietly.

While flying a faggot rainbow blur shot past him. It slowed down, revealing it to be Rainbow Dash. How shocking. Betcha never guessed it.

"Hello guy you are sexy and have huge man boobs can I fuck you," questioned Rainbow Dash.

"Okay." And then they had sex. it was 20% cooler than regular sex lolololololol.

------------------------------------------------------------LATUR---------------------------------------------------------------

SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW landed at the edge of the everfree forest, then started heading straight to Buttershy's house thing. But then he saw a giant rock.

"Giant rock, leave this place." And the giant rock left. Then SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW chased the rock and fucked it and went to Buttershy's house thing and had a threesome with the house thing and Buttershy but this time they had lube. Did I mention that he was a fag?

After a long and eventful fuck, SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW made his way toward PonyVille, but something caught his eye. Literally. Like, something gauged his eye out JOKING HAHAHAHAHA YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE FAGGOT JOKING YOUR NOT ACTUALLY A FAGGOT I WAS JOKING PLZ DON'T KILL ME but anyway, he picked up a note that he found and read it:

good eating these ingestion and welcome to the brand new that station too much

and it's sports now impulses and to see if parky one-third and he did advice me and uh... he said this guy's really good so uh... and we do this i political base and when i loaded up therapy from stains that you know it scares really pitched real estate it's a battle conference to me and most people in my conserves old saying speak again so uh... yes four stores for is i can tell you what is going to have no clue what how you doing are complete before what does that she looked and and sort it out so and i know this five stages but i've told him about i think this mass which will be good for me so it's good for stock left on her and syncytial status as a six cases sixes and sorry esso station business animal camp world space thank you

He found the note so meaningful he died the end.

HA YOU THINK MY SUPER AWESOME AND SEXY MAN BOOBS OC WOULD DIE HAHA YOUR STUPID SRRY PLZ DON'T KILL ME I'LL STOP SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT YOU.

A tear fell from SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW's smexy face. He shouted with all his might at whoever might have been listening, "I AM CHICKEN."

And it rained whales, crushing thousands of animal shelters and orphan foals. From that day on, SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW's nickname was "Orphanmal Whale Crusher." Everypony knew him and feared that he would one day once again bring upon the Bloody Whale Rain.

------------------------------------------------------------:D---------------------------------------------------------------

It was a sunny day in whalevill- no. Pony... fuck. Let me try that again.

It was a sunny day in PonyVille, and the lavender unicorn known as Applejack was at the ranch bucking some trees if you know what I mean. :trollestia: Big Mac was too fat and couldn't do any of that shit though. Poor Big Mac. :(

Then all of a sudden SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW came up to Applejack and said "Celery." And Applejack was all like "NOOOOO!" And then they fucked, WITH Big Mac this time. :D Then SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW cast a spell on the trees making them horny. Now equestria is made of hentai.

But then, something unexpected happened. A wild Celestia appeared and said "SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW you are the seventh element of harmony," but before Celestia could tell him what his element represented, he died of too much AIDS.

And that children, is how Gary Stu's are born.

Then all of a sudden, SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW rose from the dead and looked at spongebob and said "I will fight you. Roar." SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW threw a whale at him. Spongebob ate it. SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW threw a cat at him. Spongebob ate it. SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW made it rain whales. Spongebob ate all the whales, SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW threw a Celestia at him. Spongbob ate her.

He seems to be able to eat just about anything. I have an idea thought SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW. SHADOWSHADOWDEATHSHADOW threw a food at him. Spongebob exploded.

THE END