Issues

by Scott Grimm

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Dark, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1282

A mind is a wonderful thing. The things we can accomplish when we put our minds to a task is truly outstanding. It's even better when you have two voices in your head. Twice the thinking power right?!

A mind is a wonderful thing. The things we can accomplish when we put our minds to a task is truly outstanding. It's even better when you have two voices in your head. Twice the thinking power right?!

Published 2015-08-20 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-20 03:50:01 UTC

"Who said that!?" "I did"

"Who said that!?" "I did"

Canterlot institute for the mentally insane. A facility that houses both stallions and mares alike. Those who dwell within the white padded rooms of this behemoth structure have been deemed unsuited for living in proper society.

Most that live here are brought in early in their life and live out the rest of their days here to their fullest. Few however, reject the idea that they would eventually grow old and wither away both in reality and in the minds of the friends and family they once knew before. Those few on occasion have attempted to escape this prison in hopes for a brighter tomorrow. None have ever exceeded but that has never stopped the hopeful.

Even now there are those... plotting, sitting, waiting for the right moment to strike within their small white padded rooms. One such mare is Pinkamena Diane pie. A former element of harmony, now deranged psycho. No one has ever been quite sure what caused her to fall off her rocker, and to this day still remains a mystery. Since that day she has been living her life within the confines of Canterlots institute for the mentally insane.

~~~~

"Alright so it's decided then, we strike at exactly four o'clock when the nurse comes in to give us our medication."

"Eh, I'm not so sure about this idea. I mean what if the nurse oh I don't know just waltzes out of the room? I mean we are in a straight jacket after all. It's not like we can exactly grab her."

"Of course we can, we still have our hind legs do we not? When she comes in she'll turn her back to us and set the tray of pills down on our table. While she's gathering the right dose to give us, we'll spring from our bed, leap up and wrap ourselves around her!"

"So... we're just going to spring up from our bed."

"Yes."

"Jump up."

"Yes."

"And wrap ourselves around her."

"Yes it's like I just didn't get done explaining myself to myself."

"Okay, so how are we gonna jump at her?"

"What?"

"Yeah you know. That crucial element within our plan. How do we intend to jump at her. Cause from what I understand is that we are going to lung up at her, with forward momentum."

"Well duh."

"Right but you see. How do we gain said momentum? We need to lung with our hind legs."

"So?"

"So? Have you ever seen somepony jump forward and suddenly end up with their hind legs in front of them, sprawled out in attempts to grab somepony?"

"Thousands of times!"

"..."

"You're being quiet again..."

"You ever stop to think that maybe there's a reason as to why they put us in an insane asylum?"

"Nope."

"Of course not. Well then, let's say by some miracle of physics we lung forward, and we are able to wrap our hind legs around the nurse what then?"

"We strangle her of course!"

"We what?!"

"Not to kill her... Jeez. We merely put her to sleep like in one of the action films where the guy wrings the bad guys neck and they pass out after a second our two."

"..."

"What?"

"That won't work."

"Well why not?"

"What do you expect us to lung up ten feet into the air and grab nurse Redheart by the neck!? Not only that but then you plan on us to strangle her until she blacks out..."

"Well duh. How else do you plan on us taking her gun?"

"She doesn't have a gun!"

"All nurses have guns smarty pants."

"...Okay, let's see she comes in. And she greets us, then turns her back to us as she places the pills down on our table and still dishing out our pills."

"Right."

"And we, using our incredible leg strength endowed to us by the heavens, lung a mighty ten feet into the air. Assuming we don't hit the ceiling that is, wrap our legs around her neck. And once again using our strength endowed by the gods strangle her until she passes out and falls on the floor."

"Now you're getting it!"

"Right, well. She hits the floor we get up. Now at this point wouldn't it be better to grab the keys and try to undo the straight jacket to allow us more freedom to escape?"

"No of course not. We go for the gun."

"Okay first off nurses don't carry weapons. Second off, why the hell would we?"

"Dramatic effect."

"Dare I ask?"

"Okay look at it like this. Who would they be more scared of? A pony with a gun, without a straight jacket or a pony still wearing a straight jacket... That also has a gun. They're gonna think we've fallen off the wagon."

"We have fallen off the wagon!"

"Yes, but we've fallen off with a straight jacket and a gun."

"We don't have a gun!"

"Not yet."

"..."

"You're doing it again."

"So what!?"

"So what? So I'm starting to think you're not one hundred percent on board with this plan."

"I'm not! Not even one percent with this plan. It doesn't make sense, it's physically impossible and based off of pure imagination!"

"Well then. Looks like I'm gonna have to do this by myself."

"Fine feel free! It won't work and you know it!"

"I know I'm about to law down the law when that nurse gets in here..."

"..."

"..."

"So uh, what happens after you get the gun?"

"I thought you didn't like our plan."

"I don't... But uh, humor me would ya?"

"We bust out of here of course."

"Do you actually plan on shooting!?"

"No no no, maybe. Yes. But, nothing lethal... Just the knees."

"The knees...."

"Of course. You think somepony would be able to catch me with a bullet in their knee? No siree."

"That. That actually made sense."

"See? My plan is full proof. Now shush I hear somepony coming. I get to mentally prepare our self."

Unbeknownst to a one Ms. Pinkamena Diane, two nurses we standing just outside of her room, listening all the while.

"Is, is she having a debate with herself?" Nurse Raindrops questioned her fellow nurse. Raindrops, a veteran nurse of the Canterlot institute for the mentally insane, she has seen a great deal of strangeness in her day. But this seemed to have taken the cake. Her face looked haunted. Her brow was furrowed and her hair was out of place from listening to the entire debate. "Does, does she know she's talking aloud?"

Without giving a response Raindrops fellow nurse, Ms. Redheart shoved the metal tray piled with a variety of pills at Raindrops. Clumsily taking the tray and dropping a few pills onto the floor below Raindrops looked back up at Ms. Redheart. She was about to speak up but was cut off.

"I'm not going in there." With that Ms. Redheart turned around and begun walking down the hallway. "Not in there." She repeated. "Not without my gun.".

Author's Note

Snippet series #2
What is 'Snippet series'? Well, I'm a busy person. I don't have time like I did back in the past to write 4-6k word count chapters so when I find time I make this! My Snippet series of random unfiltered cra-stuff! That's right... Stuff... The count is usually around 1-1.5k word count. If some of these get support and require me to continue chapters I'll make them otherwise I'm gonna move on. Feel free to enjoy any of my other snippet series stories!

Other stores:
It just gets weirder from here...