Pony In The House!

by CrystalHero97

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 2853

Crystal is back, but for a different version in a parallel universe.

So, ya'll remember Crystal? Well, this is his parallel self. Well, instead of him going to Equestria somepony from Equestria is going to Earth! What will happen? Read the damn story, silly filly!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-20 12:10:05 UTC

Prologue - Pony In My Backyard?

Hey. What's up? Names Crystal. I'm a 15 year old Aussie livin' in a country town. I'm roughly 180cm tall and have long, shaggy brown hair with brown eyes.

Today I was just sitting in my room, minding my own business. Playing Borderlands 2 on my beloved PC (8GB RAM, i3 Processor and crappy graphics card). I had level 35 weapons that dealt a fuck ton of damage, so I was just playfully owning the smaller enemies in the first stage of the game.

I reached for my cup of Pepsi and brought it to my lips, but as I did a loud explosion rang through my ears, causing me to drop the cup onto my keyboard.

"Fuckin' hell!"

I quickly unplug my keyboard and rush outside to where the noise came from, I'll clean the keyboard later. I rush out to the backyard and look up. What I see shocked the hell outta me. A large explosion, by the looks of it, made of Rainbows. What the fuck?

I stood there staring at the anomaly for a few seconds, before noticing a fast, prismatic streak flying towards me. I jumped out of the way just as it hit the ground.

"Shit!"

I land on the ground with an audible *Thump* while the streak landed with an even louder crash. I slowly got up, my whole body aching like shit. I grunt as I rolled over and sat on the ground. In front of me was a cyan coloured pony with a rainbow mane...

What?

I stood to my full height, with great difficulty. My whole body was killing me, but I wanted to help this...thing. I don't know what it is or how it got here, but I want to help it.

I stumbled over to it and bent down, picking it up in my arms. I took notice of the mark on its arse. It was a rainbow coloured lightning bolt. No idea what relevance that meant to anything, but right now I wanted this thing to live. It was covered in bruises and cuts, and most likely had a few broken bones.

Questions come later.

I walk back into my house, surprised that no one else noticed the rainbow but me. I lay it....I have to stop calling it an "it". It looks to be female. How do I know this? I don't, I'm guessing by the shape of her body. So, I lay her on my bed and walk out of my room and to the cupboard near my room. I open it and pull out a first aid kit. I rush back into my room and put the kit on the bed, cracking it open.

~Half An Hour Later~

Good. I just finished cleaning my keyboard. I already patched up the pony. She had broken one of her wings. I have no idea why a pony had wings, I didn't care. All that mattered was that she was fine for now. I plugged my keyboard back in and sighed with relief. Glad to see all was well.

"Uggghhh....."

What. The. FUCK. Was that? I slowly turned around and saw the pony squirming around in my blanket. She must be waking up. She groaned and shot right up in a sitting position, taking in her surroundings to the best of her ability.

"Where...am I?"

HOLY FUCK WHAT IT TALKS.

She looked over to me as I stood up from my chair and walked over to her. She looked paralysed with fear and tried edging herself away from me. What? Am I really that ugly?

No time for jokes, moron.

I kneel down on the floor to the side of the bed and smiled warmly.

"Hey. My names Crystal. You kinda crash landed into my backyard."

She still looked tense. I sighed and stood up, walking back to my chair and waved a hand.

"Look, when you're ready to talk let me know."

I sat down in my chair and loaded up the Tekkit launcher, opening the Voltz modpack and logging in. My Minecraft name was CrystalHero97 in case you were wondering. Same with YouTube, crystalhero97. I load up the game and hear some shuffling around behind me. I craned my neck around and saw that she was getting out of the bed carefully. She landed on the floor and started looking around, taking in her surroundings.

"So, what's your name again?"

I flinched at the question, not used to hearing a pony talk.

"Crystal. You?"

She was now poking my T.V with a suspicious hoof.

"I'm Rainbow Dash."

Wow. So original.

"So, why aren't you afraid of me?"

She jumped back at the question.

"Why would I be?"

I shrugged and turned back to the screen.

"Well, I know that you're not from this world. And I bet that large explosion was a portal of some kind. And by your reaction from first seeing me, I'm willing to bet my kind aren't common where you're from."

I heard her laugh.

"Wow. You and Twilight would have amazing conversations. I'm not afraid right now because I saw that you had patched me up, so I figured if you helped me you wouldn't wanna hurt me."

I spin my chair around and saw that she had gotten back up on the bed.

"Alright, question time. How did you get here?

She seemed to have blushed nervously.

"I...kinda did a Super Sonic Rainboom and ended up here."

I stared at her like an idiot. What the hell was a Super Sonic Rainboom? Oh, must've been that massive explosion. I sighed and smiled.

"Alright. Right now you're in no shape to fly, so you can't do another one of those Rainboom thingies and go home. So right now, you're stuck."

Her blush disappeared and turned into a frown. I put a hand to her shoulder. She looked up at me with a sad look.

"Go back to bed and you'll be up and about again in no time."

She smiled and crawled back into the bed. I spun around in my chair and load up my Voltz world "Fall Of The Eleventh".

Yeah, I'm a Doctor Who fan.

"Wait a minute, where will you sleep?"

I waved a hand without turning around to look at her.

"My problem, not yours."

After a few seconds I soon heard loud snoring and looked behind me.

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding me.

She was snoring loudly and was already sleeping. WHAT!? It takes me an hour to sleep. Dafuck!?

I laughed and turned back to my screen, aiming to get my particle accelerator working.

Chapter 1 - Kinecting

It's 2am and I'm playin' Borderlands 2 on my PC, trying to kill the BNK3R as an under leveled Mechromancer while a cyan colored pegasus with a rainbow mane and a tattoo on its arse sleeps soundly in my bed.

So what was your day like?

My parents are out on a vacation for the school holidays, which is roughly 4 months. So that's a plus I guess. Least I won't have to explain why a pegasus is sleeping in my bed. Speaking of beds, where the fuck am I gunna sleep?

I look to my left, then my right. I face my screen and crack my knuckles.

Who needs sleep?

I grab my mouse and rest my hand on the WASD keys. Time to kill a flying arsenal of doom.

-

Well, this morning was embarrassing. I woke up with Rainbow Dash on my lap slapping my face. Wanna know why? Because I fell asleep at the keyboard. She woke me up because I accidently disconnected the headset in my sleep and the sound of mortars and bullets rang through my speakers.

"What in Celestias name is that thing anyway?"

I disconnect the speakers and turn my head to her.

"It's called a Desktop Computer. They're expensive, but worth the money."

She shook her head and leaned in closer with a look of bewilderment.

"But what does it do?"

I shrug and stand up straight.

"A whole lot of things. I mainly use it for video games and music."

She cocked her head to the left in confusion.

"That...thing can play music and video games?"

I nod my head and sit back in my chair. I wave my hand across the screen and throw her a grin.

"This game for example is called Borderlands 2. Personally, I love it."

I scoot away from the desk and let her see the screen. I was getting shot by Loaders but I had died countless times already so it didn't matter. She jumps back on the bed to get a better view.

"So, what do you do in it?"

I cross my arms and lean back slightly.

"You play as a Vault Hunter. Sorta like an intergalactic treasure hunter. You run through missions killing people and looting stuff-"

"What!? You kill ponies in the game?!"

I quickly turned my head to her. She looked very angry.

"Not real people. They're all fake, Rainbow."

She seemed to calm down after I said that.

"Are there any peaceful games?"

I shrug.

"Probably. I don't play games unless I get to kill something."

"Do you have any games without killing in them?"

I nod, staring at my screen.

"I have some, but you can't play them."

"Aw. Why not?"

I shrugged and laughed, throwing her a grin.

"You need hands to play any of my games."

She blushed lightly and I scoot back to my desk.

"I'm bored."

I sighed and exited Borderlands 2, spinning around on my chair to face her. We stared at each other for a moment in complete silence.

"I'm hungry."

"Me too."

"Wanna eat?"

"Sure."

~Few Minutes Later

I was searching through my fridge in the kitchen for some munchies for me and Dash. I had my head stuck inside, moving stuff around trying to find something to eat.

'Hmmm....Found some ham. Guess she would be a herbivore though. Ah-ha!'

From the deep, freezing depths of The Cold Lands, I pull out two bags of the most holy of mans creations. The pinnacle of creative design. The most blessed and loved creation in history.

Dash stared at the bags strangely, while I wear my goofy as fuck grin.

"What...are those?"

I rush over next to her and drop the bags on the table in front of us.

"These, my dear Dash, are the greatest treats my species has procured in all of its time. Pods."

I picked up one of the bags and ripped it open. I placed it in front of her and pick up the other bag. She reached into the bag and pulled out one of the little delicious treasures. She sniffed it while I drop back in the seat and rip my bag open with ease. She shoved the treat into her mouth and started chewing.

Her expression changed rapidly.

Her face went from curiosity to absolute bliss. I crack a grin and pop one in my mouth. She was staring out into space like she could see beyond the folds of space-time.

"These. Are. Delicious."

I laugh and nod my head, placing another in my mouth.

"Yes they are. Glad I have a lot of these."

She nodded and reached back in the bag, grabbing another delicious treat. She barked a laugh as she placed it in her mouth.

"My friend Pinkie Pie would love to get her hooves on these."

Her demeanor changed to one of sadness.

"...Pinkie Pie..."

She looked down to the floor. I sighed and placed my bag on the table as I stand up. She looked up at me with worry.

"What are yo- WOAH!"

In one swift movement, I scooped her up and walked into the lounge room with her in my arms. She was squirming the entire time.

"Oi! Crystal! Put me down!"

I carefully go on one knee and sit her on the couch. Had to be cautious of her injuries. I stood back up and walked over to the massive T.V we had set up. I kneel down and turn on the XBox 360 system we had. I placed a Kinect game into the machine.

"What are you doing?"

I smile and stand up, spinning around to face her.

"You said you wanted to play a video game, right? So we'll play a video game."

If the Kinect doesn't sense her, I'm gunna be so angry.

"I thought you said I needed hands to play any of your games?"

I smiled and jumped like a madman.

"The point of this game is that you don't need hands. All you need is a body and your good to go."

She smiled widely and leaped up as the start screen for Just Dance 4 appeared on screen. I use my hand and cycle through the songs, landing on So What by P!nk. I leaned down to her level.

"All you have to do is dance like the coach on screen does. It exhausts you quickly, but it's fun as hell."

She nodded and I looked to the screen, returning to my full height. Good. The Kinect registers her. As the lyrics came on screen, I sang along as I danced.

Na-na-na-na, na-na, na

Na-na-na-na na-na

Na-na-na-na, na-na, na

Na-na-na-na na-na

I noticed Dash eyed me weirdly, but I didn't care. I loved this song.

I guess I just lost my husband

I don't know where he went

So I'm gonna drink my money

I'm not gonna pay his rent

(Nope!)

I got a brand new attitude

And I'm gonna wear it tonight

I'm gonna get in trouble

I wanna start a fight

Na-na-na-na, na-na, na

I wanna start a fight

Na-na-na-na, na-na, na

I wanna start a fight!

By this time, me and Dash were tied. She was doing pretty good for a beginner.

So, so what?

I'm still a rock star

I got my rock moves

And I don't need you

And guess what

I'm having more fun

And now that we're done

I'm gonna show you tonight

I'm alright

I'm just fine

And you're a tool

So, so what?

I am a rock star

I got my rock moves

And I don't want you tonight

Still tied. Goddamn, she's good. Don't ask me how a pony is dancing like a human, not even I know at this point. I was still singing along.

Uh, check my flow, uh

The waiter just took my table

And gave it to Jessica Simp, shit!

I guess I'll go sit with drum boy

At least he'll know how to hit

Dash started singing along with me. Holy fucking shit her singing voice is phenomenal.

What if this song's on the radio

Then somebody's gonna die

I'm gonna get in trouble

My ex will start a fight

Na-na-na-na, na-na, na

He's gonna start a fight

Na-na-na-na, na-na, na

We're all gonna get in a fight!

So, so what?

I'm still a rock star

I got my rock moves

And I don't need you

And guess what

I'm having more fun

And now that we're done

I'm gonna show you tonight

I'm alright

I'm just fine

And you're a tool

So, so what?

I am a rock star

I got my rock moves

And I don't want you tonight

Still tied. Dash is awesome at this!

You weren't there

You never were

You want it all

But that's not fair

I gave you life

I gave my all

You weren't there

You let me fall

So, so what?

I'm still a rock star

I got my rock moves

And I don't need you

And guess what

I'm having more fun

And now that we're done

I'm gonna show you tonight

I'm alright

I'm just fine

And you're a tool

So, so what?

I am a rock star

I got my rock moves

And I don't want you tonight

No no, no no

I don't want you tonight

You weren't there

I'm gonna show you tonight

I'm alright

I'm just fine

And you're a tool

So, so what?

I am a rock star

I got my rock moves

And I don't want you tonight

Ba-da-da-da, da-da

I blew a raspberry just as P!nk did on screen. That was my favorite part. I looked to Dash while panting. This game takes it out of you!

"How...How was that?"

Dash wasn't even panting! Holy crap, she has great stamina. She had an expressionless look on her face as she stares at the screen.

"Um, Dash?"

I leaned down and waved a hand in front of her. She smirked, then turned her head to me with the biggest grin I've ever seen.

"Ha! I won! Can't believe you lost by 1,000 points!"

I smiled and chuckled. This pony was something else, I swear. She turned around and exited the room as I was turning the system off. I could hear her mumbling from the kitchen.

"Sweet Celestia, these taste good."

I laugh heartily and walked into the kitchen, joining her in the consuming of mans greatest treat.