A Slice of Afterlife

by -Lackluster

Rating: everyone
Tags: Big Macintosh, Discord, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Angel
Length: 11661

Or: A Day in the Life of a Ponyville Zombie.

The fair denizens of Ponyville go about their daily lives, oblivious to the fact that an undead creature has been animated and is headed toward town. Various ponies receive face time with this mindless beast, but with most being unaware of what evil lurks inside of it, they all have some very different reactions! At the same time, a mass of clouds originating from the Everfree Forest threatens to swallow the land in darkness.

This story takes place between Keep Calm and Flutter On and Magical Mystery Cure.

Mediocre artwork courtesy of me!

Published 2013-05-15 04:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-18 16:20:25 UTC

I. Shadow on the Horizon

A Slice of Afterlife, or: A Day in the Life of a Ponyville Zombie
Part I: A Shadow on the Horizon
____________________________________

The forest’s edge stood silent as a dark mass of clouds above cast a supernaturally dark shadow over the land, as if threatening to swallow any who dared to come within its reach. No light permeated the blackness, and not a single sound broke through the ominous calm. All the creatures of the Everfree had vacated this area well in advance of the coming nightmare. They had not come close enough to see it, nor were they within reach of its eerie groans… but they could sense it. The moment it came into existence, a cold swept throughout the land that frightened the wildlife of the forest in a way that these current inhabitants had never known. Instincts trumping curiosity, they ran for their lives from a monster they had no tangible knowledge of. They knew deep in their souls that something very wrong - very unnatural - had spawned from the depths of the wood, and its only goal was to make the world suffer for its animation. And they were certainly not going to be first in line to face this abomination of existence.

Following moments that, were any soul watching, would have seemingly dragged for an eternity, the deceptive calm was broken. The forest’s shadows twisted and advanced outward, as if trying to cling to - or perhaps contain, even - what was emerging. Nothing could be seen, the shadows simply expanding in a manner defying all logic, until a hoof suddenly pierced through the darkness. In that instant, the shadows broke and began to recede as a disturbing screech emanating from the bowels of the Everfree itself pierced the air. Gradually, an equine form was revealed.

From a distance, it could understandably be mistaken for a general earth pony. Its dull brown coat and pale yellow mane were rather drab in comparison to the average denizen of Equestria, but not unnatural. However, upon closer inspection one would be made frighteningly aware of the true distinction between this creature and the fair ponies that resided nearby. The creature’s hooves were chipped, showing an abundance of dry cracks stretching across the bottoms of all four legs. Its coat was incomplete; patches were balding or missing to reveal a deathly gray-blue skin underneath. More importantly, upon both sides of its flank the areas were entirely burned off; two wrinkled scars were visible in the positions where one would expect to find a cutie mark. Its unkempt, straw-like mane drooped over its shoulders, splitting off at their ends to curl sideways and upward as if of their own will. Its torso appeared to be shrunken inward, the imprint of all its ribs showing prominently through its skin. Its right ear was noticeably missing a chunk, coagulated blood clotting up the outline of what appeared to be a bite mark of some sort. To complete the effect were two soulless black eyes that pierced the distance with no sign of emotion or thought. The creature pressed forward, moving with a limp; its back right leg was bent slightly outward at its ankle, causing this broken appendage to drag on the ground as it stepped with the remaining three. It moved with slow persistence, failing to give the slightest acknowledgment to its injury and not deviating from its current trajectory: straight toward a cottage where a yellow pegasus was busy happily feeding an impatient white rabbit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The skies darkened and air cooled as the two continued a debate that had already consumed much more time than necessary. Fluttershy wore a patient smile as she inched the plate of assorted greens toward her deviant little pet. Her soft blue eyes pleaded for the rabbit to accept her offer, but deep down she knew that, like usual, being this direct was a lost cause. This suspicion was solidified as Angel turned his head defiantly upward once again from the proposed lunch as he crossed both arms disapprovingly.

“Oh, come now Angel, don’t you want some tasty lettuce and carrots?”

The rabbit shook his head indignantly.

Fluttershy rolled her eyes with an innocent smirk on her face. “Perhaps I even threw something special into the mix for you!”

Angel’s ears perked. He gave the plate a second glance, eying over the surface in great detail. After seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he stared at his master with a suspicious frown and pointed toward the meal.

“That’s right, it looks just like an ordinary, everyday salad on the outside, but who knows what’s lying beneath the surface! Maybe I whipped up something special for my super special Angel bunny today,” Fluttershy finished with an earnest smile.

Angel contemplated her words, unsure of how to proceed. On one hand, he knew that Fluttershy was kind and giving, and it was very likely that she had in fact hidden some scrumptious morsel within the presented arrangement. However, he also had experience with her manipulative side, and it could just as likely be a ploy to trick him into eating an assortment of bland and vile ingredients. Should he call her bluff, or was the risk worth the reward? He was at a complete loss!

Fluttershy read the indecision on his face and knew she had him teetering on the edge. “Maybe there’s even a cherry in the middle!” exclaimed the pale Pegasus with a sly grin.

Well, that settled that! Angel immediately picked up the necessary utensils and dug into the meal with the rapidity of a starving animal. Within seconds, half the plate was devoured, and a spherical red fruit peeked out from its innards with, in the eyes of the rabbit, a heavenly glow surrounding it in golden glory. Angel’s eyes widened as an ear-splitting grin crossed his face.

Fluttershy chuckled and gave a motherly nod of approval. “See, Angel, you should never judge a book by its cover. You’ll never know what incredible component may lie deep down if you don’t even attempt to look past the surface.”

Entirely ignoring this valuable piece of life advice, the rabbit ferociously stabbed the red morsel with his fork and brought it to his lips. It was then that his ears picked up a strange shuffle of grass and he cranked his head sideways to peer behind the mare standing before him. What he saw was a decrepit husk of an equine, its cold glaze focused on the Pegasus. Angel dropped his fork and frantically worked to get Fluttershy’s attention, taking shelter behind her front legs and pointing in the beast’s direction.

“What is it, Angel? I thought cherries were your favorite. Oh dear, did I make a mistake?” Fluttershy’s eyes sank as she thought she had hurt her friend’s feelings, but thanks to his persistence she noticed that his attention lay elsewhere. The mare began to turn toward where the white paw below directed her.

“What’s wrong? Do you need to-EEP!” Fluttershy cut her own question off as she met the gaze of two blank pupils; picking up her pet with remarkable care, she turned and flew toward her home in a flash of yellow and pink. She swung open the front door, shut it with a soft click, and took cover under her front window.

“What was that?” she questioned the white creature in her arms as she lay trembling on the floor. Angel pushed himself out of her grasp and jumped toward the windowsill, unable to reach the height necessary to peek out. He tapped the mare’s hoof and pointed toward the window worriedly.

“You want me to… check on it?” Fluttershy gulped, looking toward the window. She pushed her neck forward to comply but found her body paralyzed with fear. “Um… maybe we can wait here until somepony like Rainbow Dash or Twilight comes by. I’m sure they’ll know how to handle the situation,” she replied with a wan, almost pleading smile.

Angel responded with a pair of crossed arms and a tapping of his right foot.

“I was worried that you would say that,” she sighed.

Fluttershy took a deep breath, mustering up all the strength she could. "Okay, Fluttershy. Think strong. Think courageous!" The mare thought back to her lessons in asserting herself and all the times she had faced the impossible without letting her fear shine through. “Okay, I can do this. I am a brave mare,” she exhaled with a noticeable tremble in her voice. After summoning enough courage, she forced herself over to the window and lifted her head just high enough for her eyes to be level with the sill. Angel climbed up her leg and took position clinging to her mane, his eyes just peering over her head.

The scene before her had not changed very much; the creature from before was limping down the path, inching slowly closer to her home.

“Oh… oh dear. Is that a pony?” Fluttershy asked with a new type of concern.Angel shrugged in response. After taking in her full situation and studying the movement patterns of the creature, years of animal caretaking rushed back her mind as another thought popped into her head. “Oh my, the poor fellow is injured! Maybe I should go and see if he needs any help.”

As Fluttershy trotted over to her front door, Angel leapt to tackle her back right hoof in an attempt to restrain his protector. Fluttershy glanced down at him with a comforting smile. “It’s okay, Angel, what lesson did I teach you just moments ago?”

Angel searched into his memory banks, and the only thing he could come up with was an image of a fork plus a cherry equaling a happy bunny. What did that have to do with anything?

“You can’t judge a book by its cover, Angel bunny. He may end up being pretty sweet, or maybe he needs our help. I have to practice what I preach, after all,” she continued as she casually trotted onward, Angel dragging behind. She opened the door and peeked out with a friendly, “Hello there!”

In return, the creature stopped his movement and stared blankly.

Fluttershy continued in an attempt to ease the awkwardness of the situation. “Um, I’m Fluttershy. Welcome to my home. I apologize for running earlier, I’m just a bit jumpy. Please don’t be mad," said the mare as she poked at the ground with a hoof.

The thousand-yard stare continued.

“Oh… well, um, I noticed that your leg is hurt. I have some experience with animal wounds, at least. If it’s really bad I can show you the way to Nurse Redheart, that is, if you don’t mind…”

Nothing.

“Um… okay then. I’ll just take a peek and see what I can do.” Fluttershy trotted slowly over with her head toward the ground. Simultaneously, Angel moved along the perimeter toward her chicken coop to watch from afar, not wanting to get anywhere near the beast but feeling a need to keep an eye out for her safety. She walked a large radius around the side of the creature and came closer to surmise the condition of the leg. “I’m not an earth pony doctor, but I don’t believe legs are meant to bend that way. Or bone is supposed to be visible. Oh my.”

The creature sent his gaze toward her neck. Fluttershy pulled out a bandage. “Well, I’ve discovered this works surprisingly well on most of my animal friends’ boo-boos, so maybe it will help ease things while I get you to the hospital.” As she bent inward to place the healing agent on the cold, dead skin of the creature, he seized his opportunity to snap at the side of the yellow mare.

Angel, sensing what was to happen next, picked up a fallen branch and banged against the side of the chicken coop. The noise alerted Fluttershy in time for her to glance upward and quickly duck as the creature crunched down on its own teeth.

Fluttershy backed away frantically and began speaking without pause. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I understand: You don’t want a non-professional like myself to take a look at this. You seem to be getting along without too much trouble anyway, so I’m sure it can wait if you think you'll be alright. Plus, you must be famished - just look at those ribs! I’ll go cook up something nice and tasty, and once you’re done eating we’ll go straight off to the doctor for some real medical assistance!” Fluttershy said nervously but ended with a squee. “Don’t go anywhere!” She trotted off back to her cottage to prepare a delightful meal for her guest.

Angel sprinted to stop her and pointed at her guest, mimicking the beast by taking on a ghostly visage and making gnawing sounds as he snapped toward the air.

“Angel, it’s rude to point! This is our honored guest and we will treat him as such!” Fluttershy replied as she retreated into her home. Angel looked onward in baffled anger. He looked back and forth between the creature and the location of his master in worry, until he finally put on a brave face. Angel knew what he had to do.

With all the intimidation that could be created by a tiny ball of white fluff, Angel charged the beast with stick in tow. As he grew nearer, the creature took notice and bowed his head, ready to strike. The rabbit slid under his legs, his weapon launching upward to slap the deathly looking pony across the nose. The creature stepped backward in shock. The armed rabbit repeatedly banged on the shins of the beast until he turned around and followed out of an instinctual hunger and hatred, picking up speed now that he had a fleeing target. The two crossed the hillside, out of view of Fluttershy’s cottage.

The crimson liquid splattered across the morning dew, contrasting the bright green of the grass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lone multi-animal conglomeration sat on a hillside on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest, longingly gazing toward nowhere in particular. The darkness accumulating in the distance intrigued him, but his mood was far too apathetic to investigate. Discord waved his arm up and down as a stream of red erupted out of the ground below.

“Oh, cherry geyser, did I make a mistake? What am I to do? Celestia gives me a day off and all I can think to do is visit Fluttershy. I’m the spirit of chaos, for Luna’s sake! I should be accomplishing so much more! And yet I’m stuck here with nothing better to do than to watch you in a dreadfully dull and eternal cycle.”

As the geyser erupted once more, a face mirroring that of the draconequus coagulated in the red stream. “But Discord, I’m just the representation of the limits of your creative ability and self-induced restrictions!” came a statement in what could be described as an ineffectively hidden higher pitched version of Discord’s own voice. “You’re in complete control here.”

Discord replied to himself, “Well, that much is obvious. I’m not delusional. But what more can I do with my time? Chaos was all I knew and loved! Any hobby I can think of would be strictly forbidden by Her Highness.” He emphasized the last two words with a sickened look on his face and an outstretched tongue.

The animated form scoffed in response. “Bah, to hay with the princess! You are the master of your own destiny. Besides, who would be able to stop you? The yellow one has vowed never to use her element against you, and without her they may as well be throwing stones!”

“Yes, ponies of old did figure out quickly that stones are highly ineffective against me,” Discord contemplated the proposal by the mountain of red liquid. A moment later, he came to terms with his situation and pushed the liquid back into its hole, sealing the earth behind it.

He took a dramatic pose, the back of his paw pressed against his forehead as he looked toward the heavens. “But I am ‘good’ now… and I am a draconequus of my word. This life has not been too unbearable. It’s certainly less cramped than the statue,” he muttered tom himself. “Still, it doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun once in a while…”

Discord scanned the vicinity, seeing that he was all alone. A self-humiliated realization spread across his face.

“…these ponies drive me to conversations with myself.”

At that moment a white rabbit ran up clenching a stick in his jaws and fear looming in his eyes. He zoomed past Discord before retracing his path and turning to desperately grab the spirit’s attention.

“Oh, it’s you. What do you want, rabbit?” spat Discord.

Angel waved his arms back and forth, pointing every which way behind the towering hybrid before him and attempting to mimic the creature that was chasing him across the field above.

“Listen, I don’t have time for charades, Angel. Can’t you see that I’m very busy right now?” Discord replied with arms stretched wide.

Angel stared blankly at the empty field around him and returned his glance up to Discord, who was managing to hold a sincere straight face.

“Don’t you make that face at me, or I’ll turn it upside down, literally. You know I ca-“ Discord was cut off by a gnawing sound coming from below. He peered down to see Angel’s hunter hungrily chewing at his scaled leg. Angel froze in disbelief, Discord took on a pondered expression, and the creature gnawed to its heart’s delight (or would have been if it possessed such an organ).

This scene lasted for a solid ten seconds as neither of the conscious members of the group new how to approach the situation. They slowly stared at one another and back down to the creature. Drool slowly ran down Discord's leg.

Discord broke the pause. “Well, what’s this?” He pinched the creature by its mane and lifted it level to his face. The beast lazily tried to outstretch his neck to reach his teeth to the nose just out of biting distance.

A nostalgic feeling came rushing to the ancient spirit. “Why, hello there, you magnificent little creature! Where did you come from? I don’t recall having made one of you for eons!” The creature only continued its desperate attempt to take a chunk out of the form holding him. “Ah, yes, your type were never much for talking, were they? Hmmm… I think I can fix that.”

Discord snapped his fingers; despite the usual result of this action, nothing went through a noticeable physical alteration.
“Well. what do you have to say for yourself now?” Discord said, egging the creature on to speak.

For the first time, the creature opened its mouth and something other than a growl or groan escaped its lips. “Brrrrb… brrraaaaiiiinnsssss.”

Discord looked annoyed. “Oh, yes, now I remember why I stopped granting you speech. I can only manipulate your abilities, not manifest intelligence.” Discord sighed and looked down as he felt a tapping at his leg. Angel was bucking it with all the power he could muster. When the attention was grabbed, he pointed to the creature with his right paw, formed it into a fist, and smashed it down into the plain of his left paw.

“Smash him? But just look at him, how could I ever bring myself to crush a thing of such beauty?” Discord said with puppy eyes as he brought the undead creature close down to rabbit. The creature hung blankly, brown drool pouring out of the right side of his jaw. Angel flinched in return.

Discord yanked the creature back up and looked toward Angel in frustration. “You just can’t appreciate good art when you see it! You know, I still don’t understand why the yellow one even puts up with you!” Angel looked up at him in genuine concern.

Discord’s gaze slightly softened as he thought over various consequences of his actions for once. “Alright, I suppose he is a danger to the inhabitants around here… but it’s been so long since I had the opportunity for this sort of fun! I can’t just let it go to waste.” He reached his birdlike hand up to his chin and rubbed it in concentration. “Would this break the bounds of my ‘goodness’?”

Angel stared up at the conniving spirit and nodded his head up and down furiously. “Well, you may be right,” responded Discord, "but there’s no harm in letting him go free a little while longer under the condition that I don’t allow things to get out of control, right?” Angle shook his head immediately. “Great, I’m glad you agree!” exclaimed the draconequus, making Angel’s jaw drop.

Discord let go of the creature in his grasp, keeping him levitated and subsequently spinning him around to face toward Ponyville proper. “Well, my little abomination, let’s see what minor chaos you can spread.” With that, Discord dropped the creature and gave him a firm push in the right direction.

He then materialized a couch, a bag of popcorn, and a pair of 3D glasses to enjoy the show. “Sometimes life just works itself out when you’re doing right, I suppose. This must be what those goody goody ponies feel like all the time,” he pondered to himself as he watched the creature limp steadily toward the horizon.

Angel stared at Discord, annoyed, but gave up his plight and returned home to Fluttershy; at least she was safe from this menace of creation.

The desolate road under a gloomy overcast sky was a rather fitting setting for the descent of a diabolical creature upon Ponyville. The usual morning songbirds that populated the area had known to flee long before he arrived. The creature limped its signature style, creating an audible pattern in the stillness of the morning.

*pat pat pat chhhh… pat pat pat chhhhh*

It was coming upon the town now, readying to cross the bridge across its outer creek. As it reached the center, a fish jumped out of the water going upstream in a frantic attempt to escape the darkness emanating from the undead. The splashing momentarily averted its gaze, but the creature returned its attention after understanding that the fish was a prey it did not desire.

As it turned its head frontward, a large mass of pink blocked its view.

“HIYA!”

Author's Note

There used to be a running subplot with AJ in this story that ultimately led nowhere, as a joke. However, it ended up having too much buildup and not enough payoff, so it was pretty much cleaved off.

II. A Spirit and a Zombie Walk into a Bar...

A Slice of Afterlife, or: A Day in the Life of a Ponyville Zombie
Part II: A Spirit and a Zombie Walk into a Bar...
__________________________________________

Pinkie Pie cheerily rolled around in the grass on the outskirts of Ponyville, enjoying the mix of soft warmth emanating from Celestia’s sun and refreshing cool of the morning dew below. It was another beautiful day in her town, and she could sense that it was going to be a terrific day - like always!

Suddenly, the mare froze in position. In quick succession, her nose wiggled back and forth, her mane appeared to poof outward even more than usual before returning to its original state, and her tail pulled in before snapping outward like a whip. She gasped as a smile formed on her face.

“Nose wiggle, mane poof, snappy tail? That can only mean one thing!” The pink mare leapt upward and ran in a seemingly random zigzag formation, coming to rest at the top of a hillside overlooking her town. Down below, she saw a figure nearing the bridge into town. “NEW FRIEND! YIPPEE!”

The pink ball of energy rushed down to meet this soon to be ex-stranger and figure out the best way to welcome him into her town. As she approached, she saw that it was distracted by something off to the side. She thought about waiting for it to finish, but the only thing better than a welcome is a surprise welcome!

Forming her best ninja pose, she sprinted stealthily up to the creature before sticking her face up right next to his. She could hardly hold her excitement as she saw it turn its attention toward her. “HIYA! I’m Pinkie Pie and you are my new friend!” It was then that she finally absorbed the details of the creature’s physical features. In mere seconds, her face morphed from happy, to curious, to giddy, to understanding, and finally to ecstatic.

“Ohmigosh are you a zombie? I’ve never met a zombie before!” she exclaimed with sincere interest. “Well, unless you count when I met Trot Zombie that time I went to a rave with Vinyl Scratch, but that it is a completely different story!”

After a moment of no response, she murmured to herself then held out a hoof to his face. It moved its neck outward to snap the appendage, and she retracted it with a happy confirmation as the zombie pony fell forward onto its face. She trotted along, speaking more to herself than to the newcomer. “Oh, I knew it! This is so exciting - I’ll have to throw a super duper special welcoming party for you!”

The creature picked itself back up, a new scuff mark having appeared on its cheek from the fall, peeling a flap of skin downward. It returned to its upward position and continued marching forward toward the pink mare.

“Okay, this is going to take some major planning to get done, since I’ve never met a zombie pony before. Of course we’ll need pin the tail on the pony for starters, because everypony loves that one! And I have plenty of streamers left over from Mr. Beaverton Beaverteeth’s birthday from yesterday afternoon, and-" She stopped as her gleeful expression turned into a pout.

"Wait, this all sounds so normal! I can’t possibly throw an underwhelming celebration for my new undead friend! Well, what do zombies like at parties anyway?” she questioned curiously.

“Brrraiiinnnsss”

“Oh, right! Duh! Wait, that’s going to be a tough find…”

Pinkie put her hoof to her chin and pondered, her thoughts processing in a way no creature, dead or undead, could possibly understand.

“Yeah, I can do that. It might take me a little longer than usual to set up, so don’t go running off anytime soon! I just need to go find myself a screwdriver, a wooden ladle, and Fluttershy’s hairbrush!” With that last item, a pink flash zipped past the zombie toward the direction he had arrived.

For a split second, the creature's expression transformed to utter bewilderment at the pink pony's antics. However, it soon wandered back into reality and remembered that it was, in fact, still a mindless abomination. It returned to its unemotional demeanor and proceeded onward, shoving the previous two minutes out of its memory.

A pink and blue butterfly with two horns and bushy white eyebrows landed atop a nearby tulip. “Well, it looks like I didn’t need to intervene with that one. I should have figured the pink one could accomplish something so inane in such a short time. Sometimes she’s an inspiration to even me.”

The zombie limped over the bridge, clearing the distance to its final destination. Discord watched intently, craving the potential chaos that was about to ensue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In town, three little fillies missing their cutie marks passed a ball back and forth, rolling it unenthusiastically toward one another as the day grew longer.

Scootaloo, hoof held to her cheek in boredom, rolled the ball toward Apple Bloom for the umpteenth time before finally snapping. “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Everything is so boring today!”

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement, “Yeah, we really need to find something better to do, and quick! Maybe we can see what Rarity’s up to?”

Scootaloo scowled in response. “So I can die of sewing-related boredom instead of ball-related boredom? No thanks.” Sweetie Belle bowed her head, slightly disappointed. Scootaloo perked up. “Ooh, I know, we can visit Rainbow Dash!”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “We went over this the first two times you asked her today, plus the three times you asked us afterward. She’s practicing for her academy exam and she doesn’t want any interruptions,” the white unicorn filly responded matter-of-factly.

“Oh yeah,” the orange pegasus replied with a frown. “Well, I’m out of ideas. Can you think of anything, Appl-“ Scootaloo trailed off as both she and Sweetie Belle looked toward the now vacant spot where Apple Bloom was last seen. They followed the sight of her hoof prints off a short distance until they saw her standing attentively ahead, watching a pony in the distance. The two trotted up to her side.

“What’s going on, Apple Bloom?” they asked in unison.

“Have you girls seen that there fella in town before?” Apple Bloom queried as she pointed toward the dusty equine limping a short distance down the road.

“No, not that I can remember,” replied Scootaloo.

“He looks creepy,” answered the white unicorn. The two glanced at her. “What, he does!” she said defensively. Apple Bloom frowned in disappointment.

Scootaloo averted her gaze to the yellow filly and shrugged in agreement. “Well, she’s right.”

Apple Bloom sighed and closed her eyes. “Don’t y’all remember the whole Zecora mess? Everypony shunned her because she looked different, and now you’re tryin’ to do the same thing for this newcomer.”

Scootaloo stepped forward. “Eh… I guess, but this guy really looks like bad news, guy.”

“Come on, Scoots, are ya chicken?” Apple Bloom retorted, tongue outstretched, causing the winged pony to glare with anger. “After all, we’re Crusaders! We can accomplish anythin' if we put our minds to it!”

“Yeah!” agreed Sweetie Belle with a squeak in her voice as she jumped in the air. “This guy doesn’t scare us! Who knows, he may even be a big softy on the inside!”

“Let’s go greet him, girls,” suggested Apple Bloom. "Maybe he’s lost and needs a tour around town. Ya never know, we might make some great tour guides!” Now lacking hesitation, all three fillies trotted down to meet the incoming figure.

Apple Bloom was the first to speak. “Howdy, mister! Ah’m Apple Bloom, this is Scootaloo, and this is Sweetie Belle, and we’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We thought maybe you needed a tour around town seein’ as yer new and all.” The three put on their most heart-melting grins.

“Brr… Brains…”

“Hey, who are you calling a bird brain?!” Scootaloo snapped in reply, her wings fluttering up a storm.

“Hold your horses, Scoots, Ah think he means his name is Bird Brains. Is that right, mister?” questioned Apple Bloom as she tried to alleviate the sudden tension of the situation.

“Unnnnnnngggghhh”

“… Ah’ll take that as a ‘yes’!”

Suddenly, Sweetie Belle’s eyes lit up as she grabbed attention of the two girls. “Look! He’s a blank flank too!” As she pointed toward the creature’s rear, he leaned down to take a bite out of the marshmallow-like appendage. However, as he was about to wrap his jaw around her, his neck was jerked backward and his jaw closed shut from an outside force.

A butterfly landed behind the creature’s ear. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, naughty abomination. We can have some fun, but it just can’t be in this way. There are rules now, and these fillies are off the menu. I was hoping for a little more terror coming out of your trip into town, but I’m willing to compromise.”

Scootaloo stared in awe at the discovery of her friend. “Wow, you’re right! I didn’t know that was even possible.”

Apple Bloom responded with a cheerful, “Yeah, me neither,” but her attitude soured as a sudden fearful realization spread across her face. “Uh, huddle up, girls!” The three form a triangle some ten feet away from the creature.

Discord considered the situation. "Hmmm, perhaps we could at least put some fear into the little ones. That could help start things off right," he said as he temporarily released his control over the creature.

“What’s up, Apple Bloom?” questioned Scootaloo.

“Ah was just thinkin’ that, if something like this could happen to him, it could happen to any of us!” With this observation pointed out, utter horror dawned on the other two members of the group. “Just imagine what this poor fella’s gone through tryin’ to get his cutie mark!“

Sweetie Belle gasped. “Oh no, that would be just terrible! Do you think we could help him out?”

“Of course, we’re crusaders! This is in our job description after all!” replied Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle looked at her questioningly. “Wait, it is?”

Scootaloo shrugged. “I can’t remember; you’re the one who wrote our mission statement!”

"Oh." The unicorn’s cheeks flushed a rosy pink. "Yeah.”

Over the course of this conversation, the zombie crept slowly closer and closer to the trio. Finally, he was in leg’s reach of the unaware orange filly! He leaned in close and opened his mouth wide, viscous drool escaping his lower lips, and -

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DESTINY FINDERS YEAH!!!” The beast was blown back by the raw power of the fillies’ voices, as if the sound barrier submitted to their adorable enthusiasm.

Sweetie Belle suddenly grew perplexed. “Wait, Cutie Mark Crusaders Destiny Finders? Isn’t that sort of redundant?”

“I think it just means the crusading has been doubled!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

The three all looked at the fallen stranger with playful glimmers in their eyes. Apple Bloom reassured him, “Don’t worry, Mr. Brains, we’ll have all yer worries taken care of in no time!”

Through an inane series of events, this became the day that a zombie learned how to jet ski.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Crusaders, Ah don’t think this is workin’.”

The girls watched eagerly from a platform they had constructed near the top of a tree as the undead creature, its back two hooves firmly positioned on the pedals of a shining pink unicycle, balanced itself on a tightrope connected between their platform and a nearby pine. Not even it understood how or why it was doing this. The past two hours had been a blur of high speeds, dangerous jumps, extreme temperatures, and grape squashing, all facilitated by the manipulative insect taking shelter in its mane.

“Ah think we’re gonna need some professional advice. Maybe Applejack can help,” Apple Bloom continued.

Scootaloo grimaced in frustration. “Darn, I was sure this one was going to do the trick! We don’t need your sister, though, we’re the Crusaders! Hold on," she urged as she redirected toward the unicyclist. "HEY BIRD BRAINS, DO YOU THINK IT’S WORKING?”

The ghoul turned toward the sudden outburst. As it shifted position, the unicycle's tire slipped from its position and sent the creature tumbling down into the ground below.

The three fillies gasped, then raced down the tree to view the damage done to their fallen crusader comrade. When they arrived, it was lying on his side, immobile and appearing as deceased as it technically was.

Sweetie Belle chose to speak up. “Uh, Mr. Brains, are you alright? Bird? Hello?”

Scootaloo walked off to the side and returned with a moderately large stick held between her teeth. “Lesspokem.”

Apple Bloom turned toward her in confusion. “What was that, Scootaloo?”

Annoyed, Scootaloo spat out the stick. “I said, maybe we should poke him with this,” she replied as she gestured to the grounded item.

Apple Bloom lifted a hoof to her forehead. “Ya can’t just poke someone when they’re on the ground! That’s rude!”

“How is it rude? It's not like I'm scribbling on his face like we do to Sweetie Belle when she oversleeps. I just want to wake him up.”

Sweetie Belle lifted her head away from Bird Brains and looked toward the other two fillies in confusion. She still had the remnants of a black marker mustache across the let side of her snout.

“It’s just not something that ponies do to other ponies, Scoots," replied Apple Bloom.

“Well, if we can’t get him up, how are we supposed to get him back to base?”

“Ah don’t know, but we should do it soon, whatever it is.”

“What do you want us to do, carry him back to our clubhouse?” retorted the pegasus.

Sweetie Belle pondered that scenario, rubbing a hoof to her chin. “No, I think he’s too heavy for that.”

Bird Brains opened its eyes. As the three continued to argue, it took the opportunity to escape. The fall having miraculously bent its back right leg back into position, it was able to retreat at double speed. Its destination: Anywhere where those three fillies weren’t.

“Huh, maybe you’re not as stupid as you look. Even I had just about enough of that. They could have sent those three after me while I was in charge - their incessant shouting is probably a more effective weapon than the Elements of Harmony could ever hope to be,” quipped butterfly Discord, flipping a page on a miniature magazine while riding on the zombie’s head.

"Also, we should really introduce you to the concept of soap sometime soon."

“Ah think that was rhetorical, Sweetie Belle,” explained Apple Bloom.

“What’s rhetorical?” questioned Scootaloo.

“It means it was asked merely for effect with no actual answer expected,” Sweetie Belle replied happily. The other two fillies looked at her with blank stares.

"Ya mean ya knew exactly..." After some contemplation, Apple Bloom shook her head. “Anyhow, we are definitely not goin' to poke Mr. Brains. Let’s just go over and see if we can wa-“

“He’s gone!” noted Sweetie Belle before Apple Bloom could finish her plan. She pointed toward nearby grove of trees, where fresh hoof prints offered a trail toward Sweet Apple Acres.

Apple Bloom perked up. “Oh, he must have overheard me saying my sister could help him out!“

Scootaloo hovered to the zombie’s landing zone. “Should we follow him?”

Apple Bloom shook her head as she trotted toward her. “Nah, Ah think AJ will have things under control. We can check up on them later to see the progress.”

Sweetie Belle walked up to the other two. “So what now?”

Scootaloo looked over at the unicycle on the ground, still in one piece, and developed an adventurous grin. “You girls thinking what I’m thinking?”

Apple Bloom looked up in consideration, then responded with a smile, “Cutie Mark Crusaders Extreme Mountain Unicyclists Yeah?”

Scootaloo nodded in approval, and the three fillies began hatching plans for their next adrenaline-pumping adventure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Applejack had returned to the farm and threw her bags on the counter. “Food’s here, Big Mac!” she yelled toward the rest of the house, assuming her big brother was somewhere within earshot. She busied herself with unpacking until the red stallion was seen descending the stairs. She addressed him as she arranged the goods. “Since you went and made breakfast, Ah figure Ah’ll let you decide what to do this afternoon. Ah saw a group of trees in the west fields that seem ripe for the buckin’, or you could go ahead and make supper.”

“Buckin' sounds good to me, sis,” replied the stallion stoically.

“It wouldn’t be a problem for me t’ work the farm instead. Ya sure?”

“Eeyup.”

“Alright, Ah’ll get things started. Hope ya like apples!” Applejack said earnestly.

“Ya know it,” he returned with a caring smile. Big Mac exited out the front and headed over to the barn, where he grabbed a cart and loaded it with several buckets adorned with apple logos before departing for the west field.

As he walked, he noticed a figure in the distance traveling down the main road. Mac didn’t take any special notice of it, since it was not unusual to see pony traffic along the route. He set up at a nearby tree, placing a bucket on either side. With one swift kick, every apple connected to the tree fell off and landed cleanly in the containers below. Mac repeated the process for a few more trees until he caught the traveler in his peripheral vision. It would be rude not to acknowledge a pony on their way, so he turned to greet them.

“Howdy, welcome t-“ Mac drifted off as he absorbed the sight in front of him. Trotting down the dirt path was a mangy, malnourished equine creature, raspy sounds emanating from his open mouth. On top rode a gray beaver with bushy white eyebrows, two horns, and a wickedly sly grin. He held reins connected to the creature and snapped them periodically.

“Onward, beast!” exclaimed the beaver.

Mac gazed with total incomprehension at the situation. Discord took notice and pulled the reins back, causing the slow-moving corpse to stop. The beaver turned his head and looked over to the dumbfounded stallion. “He may be a piece of junk, but he gets me where I need to go, and I think that’s what matters in the end. Great on fuel consumption, too,” he said plainly before returning his attention to the road ahead and snapping at the reins.

“Mush!”

Mac continued to stare as the duo moved off toward the horizon in the direction of Ponyville. After two minutes had passed, his mind returned to him and he looked down as if in deep thought. He then picked himself up and trotted back to his cart with a resounding, “Ehh-nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.”

Moments later, a blood-curdling scream could be heard in the distance.

III. Pampered, Beaten, Lectured, Gone

A Slice of Afterlife, or: A Day in the Life of a Ponyville Zombie
Part III: Pampered, Beaten, Lectured, Gone
_________________________________________

The white unicorn mare used her magic to delicately place the freshly stitched dress on the blank equine model, soft blue glow surrounding its features as it was fit to perfection. The aura dissipated, and she looked over the design front to back before giving a nod of approval.

“Oh, Rarity, you’ve outdone yourself this time!” she exclaimed with delight. Afterward, she trotted over to her window to look outside. Sunny skies were still shining upon her fair Ponyville, but the western horizon painted a much different picture.

“I could draft my next design… but I have been working so diligently today, placing me ahead of schedule,” she said in an attempt to persuade herself. Rarity bit her upper lip and looked between the window and her workplace with a worried expression. “It appears the day is going to turn sour soon… and I mustn’t allow such a beautiful day to go to waste!” Finally managing to convince herself, she made her way to her closet with a gleeful skip. Rarity magically shuffled through her assortment of headwear, stopping at a large-framed carnation hat with a floral design topped off with crimson feathers.

“I suppose I’ll go rather basic today. Opal, darling, I’m going out on the town today, so be good!” As she exited through the front, the fuzzy feline raised its head apathetically from its curled position on the floor before promptly returning to its slumber.

Rarity trotted regally through Ponyville, passing by Sugarcube Corner. She took notice that quite a ruckus was being made inside the bakery, resulting in what sounded like a mixture of mechanical clanking, flowing liquid, and… mane brushing? Rarity just brushed it off as ‘Pinkie being Pinkie’ as she was wont to do and continued along her chosen path.

She began to hum a familiar tune as she basked in the glory of the sunlight. The mare was greeted with several compliments toward the miniature sailboat atop her head, to which she generally responded with, “Oh, this little old thing? It’s nothing, you’re too kind,” followed by a prideful but toned-down smile. She was so engrossed in the fresh air and approving looks of her peers that she failed to notice the creature stepping around the corner.

*smack*

The mare fell to her haunches, failing to see the rodent atop the creature shrink down to insect form and take cover in its mane. Anger flared in her eyes for a split second, but Rarity sucked it up and put on a pleasant face. “Oh dear, I’m so sorry. Sometimes I can be so-“ she stopped, her eyes widening to their fullest as her pupils scanned over the beast before her.

“Aaaaaaaaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!” came a scream that resonated all the way to Fillydelphia.

“Oh no no no no no no! Heavens, wha-… how-… this is unacceptable! What in Equestria do you use on your coat?! Your mane?!” queried the mare in quick succession.

The creature, lacking the ability to comprehend her words, simply opened its mouth and let out an expected, “Brrrra-“

Before he could finish, Rarity threw her hoof up to its mouth to quiet the decrepit stallion. “Hush! I don’t even want to know! Just come with me, immediately!” she exclaimed dramatically as she threw her head back, her curly mane bouncing with the act. The zombie opened its maw once again to attack the meal presented to it, but Rarity pulled back her leg and began trotting off hastily. The corpse continued forward, tracking its potential victim.

“Now, I don’t mean to be prudish, darling, but you simply must take better care of yourself! Your color palette may leave something to be desired, but with the right accessories I know you can absolutely shine,” the mare rambled as she led the creature across town; its only focus was the taunting, swaying piece of meat constantly just out of its reach. “Once we’re through here, I’ll go ahead a spruce up something for you, on the house! Perhaps a vest? Maybe an ascot - No, those are out of season, silly me! Well, I’m sure we’ll figure something out while we treat ourselves.”

The two came upon Ponyville’s day spa. Rarity opened the door and pushed forward, allowing it to swing back and smack the rabid creature on the snout. It forced its way through clumsily as Rarity trotted to the center of the waiting room.

“Aloe! Lotus! We have an emergency, code orange!”

Immediately, the pony at the counter gave her full attention to Rarity as her partner rushed in from the adjacent room. “What is it, Miss Rarity?”

The unicorn stepped aside to present her guest. As soon as the two spa ponies took a good look at it, they glanced at one another and each exhaled a deep breath.

“Don’t worry, Miss Rarity, we’re on it.” With that, the two mares rushed over to the creature and dragged it into the adjacent room.

Rarity perked her head up, remembering something important as she tagged along. “Oh, by the way girls, as long as I’m here, I’ll have the usual!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Passersby could hear a scream from inside the spa building, followed by shouting, and finally a brown pony was flung out the front door, landing on its face. Rarity stomped out indignantly behind, on a war path with her head steaming.

“Why I never! How you expect to behave like that and still be a proper member of society is beyond me! I mean, really, drooling on Lotus during your hooficure? That I could maybe forgive. But then biting Aloe?! You’re lucky you didn’t shed any blood or she would have grounds to sue!” the mare yelled in outrage.

“You can forget the piece I was planning on making for you! A shame, too, because I had it planned out in my head perfectly. Good day, sir!” The mare threw her nose to the air and turned to retreat back to her boutique before the incoming clouds finished covering the town.

The zombie was left alone outside the spa. The dirt and grime that had covered its coat had been removed following an intense scrubbing, and its mane was relatively straightened out and cleansed. Its hooves, still cracked, gave off a respectable shine. Discord took this opportunity to fly out of his makeshift mane shelter and took on his true form again. His first order of business was to fall to his back, laughing hysterically as he rolled on the grass below.

“Bahahaha! That was brilliant! I knew following the pompous one would lead to some worthwhile entertainment. Granted, that was a close call with the bite, having to turn your teeth to rubber temporarily,” Discord continued as he materialized a cowboy hat, pair of shades, and a pistol, “but they don’t call me ‘Quick-Draw Discord’ for nothin’.” He twirled the weapon in his paw, pointing it toward the creature’s head and pressing the trigger to release a white flag with ‘Bang’ printed on it.

The creature bit the barrel of the gun in response, attempting to crack into it. Discord gave a dismissive frown as he took off his hat and sunglasses. “You really would be something if you had a sense of humor, you know? Oh well, let’s carry on. I’m sure there’s some more fun to be-“

Before Discord could finish, a brilliant white light shone down from above. Discord squinted in its direction before returning his shades to his eyes. After identifying the incoming figure, Discord quickly shoved the zombie into a nearby bush to conceal it. From the clouds descended Princess Celestia, unaccompanied by royal guards.

“Discord.” she stated sternly, causing a look of surprise on the draconequus’ face.

“C-Celestia! How good to see you! How goes things up at the homestead?” he replied casually.

Celestia eyed him warily. “What are you up to, Discord?”

Discord presented the most innocent looking expression he could muster. “Me? I’m just enjoying my day off with my good pals here in Ponyville. You know how playful they can get, the little rascals,” he finished as he batted his eyelashes.

Celestia looked around, seeing the streets deserted. “…right. Well, if I really need to know, I suppose I’ll find out later. But right now I require your assistance. There has been a burst of dark magic coming from the Everfree Forest, and I need your help to investigate.”

Discord eyed her peculiarly and began to speak, but was cut off before he could get anything out. “And yes, I know it wasn’t your doing. I placed a spell while you were imprisoned the second time to keep track of your magical activity.”

Discord smirked. “Of course. You can never be too careful.”

Celestia turned toward the forest and nodded in its direction. “I know I gave you leave for the day, but this is a special case and something that you probably possess the most knowledge to assist with. Please, follow me at once.”

Discord glanced over toward the bush that was beginning to rustle. “Er… right now? As in right now, right now?”

Celestia returned her gaze to the draconequus. “Yes, right now right now. We must hurry - otherwise whatever caused this disturbance could disappear from under our noses.”

Discord glanced back toward the bush, worriedly. He did not want to allow the creature to roam free in Ponyville. However, he was more afraid of Celestia’s potential punishment for his breaking her rules. He’d rather not be imprisoned for a third time so soon.

“Lead the way, Princess,” he replied enthusiastically.

After the two flew off together toward the darkening lands, the undead equine finally managed its way out of the bush. After regaining its balance, the creature trotted off towards the center of town before being struck and thrown ten feet by a high-speed falling object.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, I can’t say I expected this when I woke up this morning.”

Rainbow Dash stood atop a cloud on the outskirts of Ponyville on the side opposite the Everfree Forest. She looked onward as the gloomy black clouds expanded toward her, covering her town in darkness. Dash cranked her head left and right, appraising the vast width of the rolling gray mass.

The day had just been one failure after another. As soon as the weather team took note that the clouds were pushing inward toward town, they flew off to intercept and destroy it. It was not of their making and an overcast day was not scheduled for nearly a week, after all.

However, the cloud proved immune to their feeble attempts, not willing to lose ground in any permanent manner. After hours of work, the team was called back and ordered to wait until the storm passed.

However, Rainbow Dash was not prepared to give up without a fight. She went toe to toe with the growing mass, punching and zooming through its extremities with lightning speed. However, it wasn’t enough, and she could not break its path alone. But she did have one option left up her sleeve, and things were about to get colorful.

With grace, Dash leapt off of her cloud and soared upward, creating a large gap between her and the low-set cloud cover below. She hovered momentarily, taking a deep breath, then reared up and took off downward with incredible speed. A cone formed around the mare as the force of the wind she created blasted the white upper atmosphere clouds to nothingness with ease. She restrained herself slightly; she wanted to hit the climax of her rainboom within the gray mass itself. When she got nearer, she pushed herself harder and her speed increased dramatically. The cone grew more pointed as the cyan pegasus pierced the extremities of the dark clouds.

This was the moment, now or never. Dash readied herself for one final push to be rid of this bad weather once and for all. She focused forward, tightened her muscles, and

*CRACK*

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning came streaking down through the clouds, missing Dash by mere inches but throwing her off balance. She careened sideways, barrel rolling downward in an arc toward the center of town. Fortunately, there was something relatively soft to brace her fall.

Dash picked herself back up, mane and feathers ruffled but lacking any significant injuries. “That was so not awesome,” she said as she rubbed her head with a hoof. When the world stopped spinning for her, she looked around to take in her surroundings. She saw a mass of brown and yellow ahead of her and rushed over to see the condition of the pony she had hit. In the darkness created by the cloud cover, its more unappealing features were less distinguishable. She could not tell that the impact had crushed several of the creature’s ribs, causing a few to jut through the surface of its skin.

“Ohmygoshareyouokay?!” she said with desperate hope. The creature opened its eyes in response and began to rise. “Oh, thank Celestia! That could have ended up pretty badly. Heh… sorry. Good thing for that earth pony endurance, eh?” she said, trying to raise the pony’s spirits.

“Hey, you’re new in town, aren’t you? It looks like everypony’s gone inside for the night because of the storm. You should probably think about doing the same.” She was met with a blank stare as the creature slowly walked toward her. “Oh, do you not have someone to stay with tonight? I’d offer a place in my house but it’s sorta in the clouds, heh… Are you looking for someone in particular?” she questioned, trying her best to help this stranger.

“Brrraaaaiiiinnsssss…” came the reply.

“Oh, you’re looking for an egghead? Well you’re in luck: Twilight’s housed up right over there in the town library!” She leaned in close and held a hoof over the side of her mouth so as not to let her next statement escape the two of them. “If I were you, I’d go for her Daring Do collection. Best series in there by far, even if she won’t admit it. You know how eggheads are.”

At that moment, a light shone over toward the two as the library’s entrance opened, producing a lavender unicorn. Rainbow Dash moved away toward the mare as the zombie snapped at her previous position. “Hey, Twilight! I have someone that wants to see you!”

Twilight closed her door and trotted up to the two in the darkening town center. “What was that, Rainbow Dash?”

“This guy here is new and needed to see you about something,” she said as she pointed toward the animated mass of flesh.

“Oh! Well, the library’s closed right now if you need a book. But I was about to go on a trot if you would like to follow, and then I could find whatever it is you need when we get back,” she replied politely.

A low “rrmmmpphh” came from the mouth of the soulless equine as he moved forward toward the mare with a hungry look.

“You’re up for it? Great! I enjoy speaking with newcomers to Ponyville. I may not be as enthusiastic as Pinkie Pie, but I can really relate to not knowing one’s way around town.” She turned her attention to the pegasus. “Would you care to join, Rainbow Dash?”

“I’ll have to pass on this one, Twi,” she replied while looking toward the center of the cloud formation overhead. “I have some unfinished business to take care of.”

“Alright, be careful. Don’t overexert yourself for this one cloud; I’m sure it will pass soon enough,” encouraged the unicorn.

“Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m not the best young flier in Equestria because rainbows come out of my butt!” the cyan mare responded proudly.

Twilight rolled her eyes with a chuckle. “Well, have fun then.” She trotted off, zombie in tow, snapping at her tail as it swung by in periodic motion.

Dash took a seat on the soft grass and raised a hoof to her chin, trying to figure out how to best this beast before her. She mentally checked over all the moves in her arsenal, and tried to see if there were any weak points in the cloud cover to take advantage of. However, the thing was as solid as a rock. She sat there for several minutes, so deeply lost in concentration that she didn’t notice a pink mare sneaking up to her side.

“Hey Dashie!” yelled Pinkie Pie into Dash’s ear with enthusiasm, making her jolt upward. At first she was shocked, then her expression turned to anger, but it soon softened as she realized who she was dealing with.

“Hey there, Pinkie. What brings you out here?”

“It just seemed so spooky out here with no one around - it’s pretty fun, like Nightmare Night! Speaking of, have you seen a zombie around? I need to find him for the party!”

“Yeah, I guess it is pretty creepy out here. But once I beat this cloud everything will - wait, what was that about a zombie?” Dash asked confusedly.

“You know, he’s brown and slow and grunts a lot. Oh, also his favorite word is ‘Brrrraaaaaiiiinnnsss’,” she described as she replicated the creature’s disposition perfectly, ending with a cheerful smile.

Dash sat there, dumbfounded. It was then that she noticed her friend was holding a plate with something pink and wrinkly sitting atop it. “Uh, Pinkie, what in the hay is that?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight hiked up a hill, the creature tirelessly and mindlessly trotting along. Not stopping or turning back, the mare began to speak. “It’s been a while since I saw a new face in Ponyville. Princess Celestia has had me studying pretty diligently over the past few weeks. I’ve hardly had time for most social activities! Not that I’m the life of the party - that would be Pinkie Pie, I’m sure you’ll meet her soon enough if you haven’t already - but sometimes even I need some time to rest from all the books.” The mare opened her eyes wide in slight shock. “Wow, I can’t believe I actually said that.”

“Anyway, I don’t want this to be all about me. I wanted to tell you a little bit about what makes Ponyville such a wonderful place. When I came here, I wasn’t the most social pony out there. I never really had close friends outside of my family, and I always had my nose stuck in a book. Not to say that books are unimportant, but I never realized how much I needed that interaction and friendship that I tried so actively to avoid. I was missing an integral component of my life, and Ponyville helped me fill in that gap. I met my best friends here, and we’ve been through so much together… and it’s not just that; it’s everypony! The entire town is filled with this soul that I never knew could exist in such a place during my years in Canterlot.”

“There’s something about this town. Something… magical. It’s a little difficult to explain, and it’s something you need to see for yourself. If you plan on sticking around for a while, I encourage you to make the best of your time here. Be sure to meet the various folk around town, and experience the local flavor! We may not have as much as big cities like Manehattan or Las Pegasus, but the artisans of trade here are top-notch. Try one of Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s deluxe cupcakes and you’ll wonder how you’ve gone all your life without such a delicacy!”

Twilight closer her eyes and slowly shook her head with a half-smile. “Oh, look at me, it’s like I’m a walking advertisement! I don’t mean to come off so overzealous, but Ponyville really is a great place to settle down. And we always welcome new and prospective faces from all around Equestria. I can assure you that, if you decide to stay, the town will feel like family in no time at all,” she finished sincerely.

Twilight reached the peak of the large hill; it ended on a cliff side overlooking a lake. The duo had reached the edge of the cloud formation, the still sunny skies illuminating the surface of the water in golden beauty. Directly below was a patch of jagged rock formations that were battered by the water’s flow as its constant motion ever so slowly eroded the cliff’s underside. The creature had fallen behind slightly and took this moment to catch up ground.

“Here we are! This is one of my favorite spots within walking distance of town. I love to come out here and read, clear my head so I can work out experimental results, or just relax on those rare occasions I’m afforded the time. I think this scene really exemplifies the beauty of Equestria, and enjoying it under Celestia’s solar rays or Luna’s soft moonbeams is breathtaking.”

During this monologue, the ravenous creature had closed the gap between the two. He now stood mere feet from the mare and she gazed outward at the lake below.

“I’m glad I was able to take you here while the skies were still open. There really isn’t anything else like it.” Twilight closed her eyes, letting the soothing breeze facilitated by the body of water blow gently through her mane. She inhaled through her nose, letting the air escape her lips slowly. She emptied her mind, letting her worries flow away, even if temporarily, and reaching an inner stability that her life seldom afforded her.

Tranquility.

The beast lunged.

Suddenly, the beast was struck in the head, knocking it off target and sending it careening over the edge of the cliff. As it fell, a small and lumpy brown sack entered its vision and descended in unison. Overhead, a faint, “Oops, my bad” could be heard as a gray streak flew past. The abomination gained speed as he fell to the rocky shores below, returning to the earth from whence he came.

At the sound of the pegasus, Twilight opened her eyes and looked around. Seeing no one there beside her, she shrugged. “Huh, he must have gone back to town. Twilight Sparkle, you are one persuasive mare!” she cheered as she clapped her front two hooves.

“TWILIGHTWATCHOUTTHERESAZOMBIE!” came a rapid succession of words behind her. She turned to see a rainbow streak from the direction of Ponyville quickly closing the gap between the two. When she got near, Rainbow Dash landed, skidding to a stop.

“What was that, Rainbow Dash? There’s a what now?” Twilight asked quizzically.

“There’s a -“

Rainbow Dash, seeing that Twilight was alone, cut off her initial statement.

“Uh… nothing. Just wanted to see how your trot was going. Still have an open offer to join?” Then she muttered to herself, “I can’t believe I listened to Pinkie Pie.”

“Of course. There’s always room for my friends,” she happily replied. Twilight looked upward, where the cloud cover was slowly but visibly dissipating, allowing warm rays of sunset light to pierce through and into Ponyville below. “Look at that, the skies are clearing up!”

Rainbow Dash stared in shock, exhausted. “Are you serious?! I worked all day on that thing!”

“Well, Dash, it just goes to show that sometimes it’s best just to accept that some things are out of your control,” sagely replied the unicorn.

“Yeah, sure. I would have had it gone within the hour anyway.”

Twilight chuckled in reply and a warm smile spread across her face as she looked down at the outline of Ponyville, illuminated by the sunset’s orange glow. She couldn’t think of anywhere she would rather be heading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Celestia and Discord had just entered the dark forest. Discord showed some not so subtle signs of boredom.

“Are we there yet?” whined the spirit.

“Don’t even think about it, Discord,” snapped the princess immediately. She couldn’t see as he stuck his tongue out at her in frustration.

Celestia looked upward, worriedly. “I haven’t seen magic like this in quite some time. I can’t quite put my hoof on what category of spell this is… plague? necromancy?”

Discord raised an eyebrow, impressed by her intuition. “I have no clue, myself. I guess we’ll just have to follow the signs and see where they take us.”

They continued onward, Discord twiddling his thumbs out of sheer boredom. He lasted a relatively impressive 30 seconds before opening his mouth again.

“Have you gained weight? You’re looking a little rounder from the back,” he said with a sly grin.

Celestia stopped in her tracks. She slowly brought her head around to face the draconequus. The fire in her eyes made Discord see the error of his ways.

He was truly afraid for the first time since his release.

Suddenly, the dark clouds above began to dissipate. Discord was quick to point out the sudden change of events. Celestia looked up with concern.

“Funny how life just works itself out sometimes, eh, Celestia?” the spirit said, trying to make her forget the previous conversation.

“Something has broken the dark magic’s hold. We’ll be unable to track it to its source now,” said the princess, regretfully. “There’s nothing further we can do but be patient and see if it shows its face again. Come, let’s return to Canterlot.” The mare gave one last look into the forest before turning and ascending upward in the direction of her capitol city.

Discord rolled his eyes. “Well, this was a worthwhile experience. I’m so glad I could be a part of it.” He turned to follow her, then after thinking to himself, he addressed the princess. “Wait, I’m getting overtime for this, right?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unbeknownst to the two retreating figures, the dark cloud, rather than disappearing completely, only retracted until it covered a lone acre atop a tree house deep in the forest. Its windows glowed a soft orange from the candlelight within, and the sound of hoofsteps and a boiling liquid could be heard.

Suddenly, a thick zebra accent added its own melody to the sounds of the night. “It must be in the proportions. What else explains the visual distortion? Perhaps if I add a pinch more spice, then I would not need so much ice. Or maybe the flower is at fault… could it be I used too much salt?” Shuffling hooves and clanging bottles could be heard within, followed by stirring of the brew being made. Suddenly, a puff of smoke filled the tree house and escaped out the window.

“No, this is incorrect. This brew must have a defect!”

The smoke made its way through the forest, zigzagging through the trees as if holding a mind of its own. It came upon an open grove and sifted into the dirt below. A faint rumbling could be heard before a hoof shot out of the ground, time having eaten away at its flesh. Following it came a decomposing, slack-jawed corpse of a unicorn, who began heading in the direction of fair Ponyville. The dark smoke sifted back through the surface of the soil and shot out toward the center of the remainder of the dark cloud, spurring it to begin its expansion anew.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading my story!

And yes, aside from those zap apples saving the day, the Applejack side story was not buildup toward the endgame. Perhaps you saw that 'A Day in the Life of a Ponyville Zombie' was meant to convey two meanings: One is a mare, stuck in an endless daily routine with little hope or prospect of breaking the cycle.

However, at the same time, it can be seen that being a Ponyville zombie isn't such a bad thing!

At this point, the ending is simply meant to be open; I have no specific plans for any sequel or side story. Maybe I'll add something in time, but if anyone else would like to build on it, you have my support!