Lyra's Pyro Predicament

by Darrtaa

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Lyra, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 62614

Lyra finally meets a real human! But he's not what she had expected; Team Fortress 2's RED Pyro...

Part 1: Lyra's Pyro Predicament
Part 2: Twilight's Demoman Devastation
Part 3: King Sombra's Robotic Retaliation

When a mishap causes two para-dimensional weapons to colide with one another, RED Team's Pyro is sent flying from the Team Fortress 2 universe into the alternate universe of My Little Pony, where he is almost instantly discovered by Lyra, who shelters him in her home.

Having him hidden in her small townhouse isn't easy; keeping him from setting things on fire, teaching him that not every cart that passes by is cause for alarm, and that blue ponies are not something to be suspicious of.

However, with Nightmare Night soon approaching, Princess Luna feels that there may be something more sinister riding on the coat tails of Pyro's grand entrance; the first human to ever set foot in Equestria some thousand years ago...

Published 2012-02-11 03:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-23 01:41:21 UTC

Chapter 2: TLC

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

Dear Diary:

You would not believe the day I've had, so I'm going to try to write it about it as calmly as I can: I FOUND AN ACTUAL HUMAN!!! Did I just yell that out loud? Never mind, his name (as far as I can tell) is "Pyro", and it suits him well since he set fire to a large chunk of Everfree after he fell from the sky. That's right, he literally FELL from the sky and crashed into the forest, where he saved me from a pack of Timber Wolves! I couldn't just leave him there, he had risked his life for somepony he'd never seen before, the least I could do was bring him back here to rest up…and if he was hauling that bag around with him, I don't blame him!
That thing's size is entirely misleading! It weighs more than that heavy-duty cart the Apple family uses for cider season, but it sure as sugar can hold a lot more.

Alright, I maybe went through that strange saddle bag he had with him (what? I was curious! Is that so wrong?), that's how I found his name, it was stitched on the flap next to a logo for something called "Mann Co." with a segmented orange circle next to it. Mental note; ask him what a "Mann Co." is when he comes to, among the other questions I have for him…heh. Anyway, this bag must have some sort of infinitely expanding spell on it because there were HUNDREDS of bizarre contraptions, some larger than I am, from this bottomless pack!
I couldn't begin to tell you what half of these do, but…I found it odd that he had a mailbox, two plush versions of himself, and dear Celestia; so many hats!

OH! I think he's waking up! Gotta go!

Love, Lyra.

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Princess Luna loved autumn nights. Sure, they weren't as clear as the ones in summer, or even spring, but the moon was just so dazzling and the thin layer of clouds only magnified it's glow. With Nightmare Night (a holiday that Luna had come to enjoy above all else) only a few days away, she MAY have pulled the moon closer so it'd be bigger and brighter. Not so close that it would cause any tidal disruptions, and the only ponies who could prove that it had moved closer were the astronomers, and they were on her payroll.

Canterlot Castle had the best view in all of Equestria, the pearly white palace was like a diamond in rough resting on the face of one the oldest and tallest mountains in known existence. The golden trim that detailed the castle reflected all of the light that touched it back with a warm glow, making the fortress even more of a beacon in the night. It was truly breath-taking, and only being allowed entrance into the surrounding city could one see all of the jewels encrusted along it's trim and the splendor that was the expertly crafted stain glass windows that solely dominated some of the massive walls. Luna thought it was beautiful too, but nothing could compare to her star-studded sky.

Her stardust mane billowed around her, it looked almost exactly like her precious night sky, just with different constellations (they tended to change whenever she styled her mane). She brushed it over her shoulder and gazed back up at the atmosphere to watch the Royal Weather Sentinels rearrange the foggy mists so they gently coiled around the great astral sphere. Everything was perfect…except for that rather unpleasing event that occurred in Ponyville the other night.

Normally the pegasi didn't even bother reporting weather anomalies unless it was absolutely critical and required immediate attention, or if something goes haywire, like a massive energy ball forming over the Everfree Forest. The navy blue Night Princess sighed. She didn't want some estranged demi-sun ruining her best night ever. She hadn't practiced her scare tactics all year for something like this to stop her now. And they were good too! She had managed to get one of the guards to actually FAINT when she first tested a few of her pranks.

But it wasn't the ball that worried her, it's what the investigation had uncovered.

According to a few eye-witness reports, the phantasmal orb had conjured itself over the old schoolhouse, launched something in the direction of the forest, and then disappearing as mysteriously as it had arrived. When the Royal Inspection and Containment Squad hit the scene, they found: a few broken trees, some broken branches, an angry cockatrice with a burnt tail was sent off to be treated (which later resulted in the vets being sent off to the hospital for being turned to stone), and, oh…a pack of Timber Wolfs that were reduced to kindling wood.

Luna rubbed her temples. Normally, she would have just waved it off as nothing more than splash damage from the lightning storm that day causing frightened ponies to see what wasn't really there. But she couldn't ignore the minuet details in the pictures that the police had overlooked; the Timber Wolfs were too spread out for one or even two stray thunderbolts to cause that much damage to such fierce creatures, tracks uncommon to anything in Everfree were found where the wolfs had fallen, and something had been dragged away from the scene but the rain had destroyed the trail.

Her mind raced as she tried to piece it all together. She was so wrapped up in thought that she didn't notice the door to the balcony open and close. She finally perked up when she heard the clink of gold on marble tile draw closer.

"Oh my, I see you pulled the moon closer for your big night," said Princess Celestia as she admired her little sister's majestic creation. Luna's teal eyes looked up at the pure white alicorn; she was noticeably taller than Luna (partially because she was older, and partly because she wasn't the one who was blasted by the Elements of Harmony, TWICE) and her multi-colored mane was also billowing in a nonexistent wind that seemed to originate from her own celestial body, the sun. The monarch sat next to her sister and looked up at the twinkling celestial bodies. "You look troubled Luna. Care to share what's on your mind?" She nuzzled her sister a little to try and comfort her.

"Oh Tia, I've just been so caught up with planning Nightmare Night, I don't want this anomaly in Ponyville to ruin everything…" said the dark alicorn as she continued her staring contest with the moon's crater-riddled surface.

"I must say, Luna," she wrapped one of her elegant wings around her troubled sibling "your speech has really improved." Luna gave her a small smile, although she would never admit it, her sister's feathers were the softest things she'd ever felt, and since she was the sun goddess, she was also incredibly warm.

"Really? Thank you, I've been training with that tutor you hired for me. This year will go MUCH smoother than last time."

"Think nothing of it, it is somewhat my fault that you went down to Ponyville the first time without being informed of the change in speech." They both shared a laugh that Luna so desperately needed. Celestia's face became more concerned, she pulled her sister a little closer. "Are you worried about the report that came back from the investigators?"

"It's what didn't show up that worries me…it's just like last time, when Silas-" Luna suddenly felt the heavenly down ruffle on her shoulder before it pulled her even closer to the larger alicorn. She could fell Celestia's heartbeat quicken. They sat in absolute silence save the quiet murmur of the city below and the eventide breeze singing to the mountains. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, Celestia spoke.

"No, it won't be like that. Never again. You and I defeated that warlock together…my only regret is that I couldn't prevent what happened to you." Luna was surprised; she had almost NEVER seen Celestia cry other than the time Luna was released from the vice grip of Nightmare Moon. She repositioned herself under the white wing, it was time to return the favor. She lifted her dark blue wing and wrapped it as best as she could around the sun goddess' much larger form. Celestia's tear-stained cheek rubbed against it as they both looked out at the direction of Ponyville. They couldn't see the small town, due to the cloud cover and the sheer distance between the small community and the Royal City, but they knew right where their friends were.

That's when Luna felt a sharp pain gouge its way into her horn and down into her forehead. She winced and retracted her wing, struggling under the sudden torment. Celestia stood, alarmed by her sister's writhing.

"Luna…Luna what's wrong? Luna, say something. Medic!" At once, a bright blue spark crackled to life in front of her and reviled Over-Dose; a blue unicorn wearing a white medical coat and thin rim glasses, with a clean-cut black mane and a blue medical cross for a Cutie Mark. He stood at attention.

"Ja! Vhat can I do for you, meine prinzessin?"

"Something's wrong with Luna. She just started holding her head and-" She was cut short as Luna's teal eyes grew brighter and brighter until they began to glow. Her horn also started to glow and burn, discharging all manner of sparks and flashes of light. Celestia and Over-Dose jumped back, they weren't exactly sure what was happening to the lunar deity but it was affecting the sky and the…moon.

Celestia's horn began to tingle in presence of a terrible power, one that she hadn't felt in a very long time, even by her eternal standards. The magic itself was enough to identify him but the evil, shadowy smile that crept across the otherwise pure white moon confirmed what Celestia's horn was already telling her: the first human to ever set foot in Equestria was about to make a come back…by using Luna as a warping point. Luna levitated into the air still continuing to writhe in pain at the unknown force assaulting her body. She twisted and cringed before falling back towards the ground, where Celestia waited with open wings to catch her.

"Luna, speak to me! Say something!" Shouted Celestia. No response, Luna couldn't hear anything beyond the pain of her horn trying to rip itself from her forehead. The trembling alicorn curled up in her sister's forelegs, shaking uncontrollably. The evil grin on the moon swiveled down to incorporate two oval eyes that cast their gaze down on all of Equestria. The silhouette mouth opened.

"NIGHTMARE MOON, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" The chilling voice echoed inside Celestia's mind. Over-Dose quickly fainted. Encounters with the super-natural tended to have that effect on ponies that weren't used to it. Luna flew into the air once more, purple smoke billowed out of her horn and quickly engulfed the entirety of the once beautiful balcony. Celestia couldn't see anything through the dense haze, she tried to locate Luna but kept bumping into the railing and at one point almost tripping on the doctor. She finally felt something brush up against her back leg and, thinking it to be her sibling, turned to embrace her.

How wrong she was. She jumped into the air and suspended herself with her beautiful wings. The thing that had grazed her wasn't a navy blue alicorn with a malfunctioning horn, but a hand encased in a large black glove reaching out of a portal trying frantically to grab hold of her almost intangible tail. She looked on as the portal grew wider, the mouth of the entrance was now twice what it had been. A second hand shot out and aided it's twin in hauling up the main body. Celestia knew it was now or never.

She dispelled the smog with her mane, which flared up and pushed the gas away from her and her sister, next, she used her horn as means to redirect the energy feeding the swirling vortex and launched it into a far off cumulus cloud. The grim appendages, defeated, quickly retracted back from whence they came as the portal closed and the last of the energy tore violently through the sky into the now pitch-black cloud.

Celestia, who knew from experience that an encounter with a monster of such magnitude would not be defeated so easily, watched as the cumulus discharged it's stockpile of corruption onto the surrounding countryside and away from any settlement. She wrapped Luna in her magic and gently lowered her from her perch in the middle of the air.

Luna's horn was no longer casting unwanted magic but it was now hot to the touch as Celestia quickly found and burned her wing. The awful smell of burnt feathers woke Luna from her fever sleep.

"Tia…I-I'm so sorry…I couldn't…I…" Her breathing was shallow and she slipped in and out of consciousness. Celestia's eyes began to well up with tears, it was a horrible sight to see her only sister in such agony. That's when she heard hoofsteps approaching from behind her. Over-Dose trotted over to the rulers of Equetria and bowed as low as his body and the marble floor would allow.

"I am so sorry, I must've passed out. I'll just-"

"No," said Celestia relieved that he too was unharmed "you're not fired. That was not something anypony should have to experience, so you are forgiven. Just help her, please."

"At vonce!" He cast a spell around Luna, who was still being held tightly by Celestia. The blue aura calmed her down immensely and allowed her to drift off to sleep while also informing the doctor telekinetically of what was wrong. He mumbled to himself in his native tongue as he found where to focus he magical healing abilities for maximum results.

Celestia wasn't paying attention. She was still scanning the distance for signs of the infiltrator, and to her dismay, she could clearly see a purple glow flicker and die about half way up one of the surrounding mountains. Well, at least he was far away from the larger cities and settlements. But she knew all too well that round two would arrive at the moment of his choosing, and if he was still as predicable as before, he'd resurface on Nightmare Night.

She couldn't let the summoning of an ancient evil cause panic across Equestria, it would just make tracking him down even harder. She looked up at Over-Dose, the blue medic still doing his best to calm the weary moon herald.

"Doctor, (and I hate to be so formal with you) I hereby order you to remain silent about what has transpired here this evening under the threat of banishment. Is that understood?" He looked up and once again stood at attention. Growing up where he did, superiors giving orders followed by very real threats was commonplace, so the ruler of all of existence ordering him to shut up about something he barely saw least he be hurled into the sun seemed only natural. This also made him think that maybe he should get therapy. Again. For real this time.

"Do not vorry, prinzessin, mein lips are sealed." He saluted before returning to Luna.

"Thank you…" Celestia's voice grew quiet. Although she seemed fine now, Celestia could have sworn she saw Nightmare Moon in the fog while Luna was floating in the air. It was probably nothing.

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Lyra wasn't the type of pony to panic, but this almost got her to break. After hauling the Pyro and his ridiculously heavy pack ALL the way back from the forest, she set him up in her guest room. She thought that he might be more comfortable without all of the clunky gear attached to him. After an hour of fiddling with buckles, straps, and various other contraptions that refused to relinquish their captive; she had only managed to free him of the glass helmet, the rocket pack, and the vice grip he had somehow gotten on his Phlogistinator while still being unconscious. The red bodysuit and filtrated mask had refused to budge, nor did his gloves or boots. This lead her to believe that maybe that WAS his skin. She had placed what she had gotten off of him on the bench next to him so he wouldn't panic when he awoke to find that he was no longer wearing them.

She had gone about her business that day as if though nothing had happened, which was really hard due to everypony having what felt like a collective panic attack. Guards and reporters from Canterlot had overrun the small town in the course of a few hours. The local venders and inn keepers where happy about the sudden influx, but everypony else was in an uproar, even more so than when Zecora had come to town. Lyra, who had been seen near Everfree at the time of the happenstance, was getting swarmed by reporters from Equestria Daily and the Manehattan Times and various other newspapers.

Lyra had also let curiosity get the better of her and had rummaged through Pyro's (what she now called) "backpack". It had all manner of strange devices within it's seemly endless confines; she found four more flamethrowers (one of which looked just like a double of another one but with festive Hearts Warming Eve lights on it), a vast array of melee instruments, and a couple of strange looking cylinders; two of them were shorter and painted bright red, while the other two were quite longer and had pistons of some sort under the barrels.

Then there were the hats. Dear sweet Celestia so many hats. Some of these she would have never guessed were headgear had it not been for the tags on them that said things like "Level 27 Hat" or "Level 0 Hat". Did that make them more important? Lyra had given up on trying to solve mysteries that the Pyro himself probably had figuring all this out when he first received/bought/stole them.

She had gone downstairs to unwind and write in her diary when she heard movement followed by muffled grunts and exclamations. She hurried back up the staircase to the Pyro's room, only to find that he was nowhere to be found. That wasn't what almost gave Lyra a panic attack, this next series of unfortunate events are what made her heart race and sweat pour down her face: she walked into the room to see if he was hiding when the door closed behind her. She quickly turned to see a fearful looking axe hovering less than an inch from her neck. Without moving her head, she gazed upon the fiery implement; that was the "Sharpened Volcano Fragment" if she remembered the description tag well enough.

Lyra could feel the heat coming from what she was fairly sure was actual lava traveling like veins across the axe's charcoal surface and made up the entirety of the actual blade. It was the only light source in the room save the moonlight and it cast an eery glow on the Pyro's features while showcasing the expression of terror on Lyra's face. He cocked his head sideways, he looked her over for the first time since she had found him the forest.

She had a mint green fur coat that matched her slightly lighter mane minus the white highlights. She had…REALLY big yellow eyes. Like super big for a head that size. He also noticed what appeared to be matching tattoos of a lyre on either side of her flank, upon further inspection, he noticed that the tattoos were actually part of her fur coat. He also noticed that she had a horn attached to her head, and try as he might, that thing was not coming off.

He started to wonder what kind of psycho had kidnapped him. All he could remember was the little pony in the woods being attacked by wooden wolves. He released Lyra and sat back down on the undersized bed which creaked heavily under his weight. This HAD to be a stunt by Mann Co., they must have some half-baked item sale coming up and they're setting him up for another video. Hey, maybe they decided to start filming "Meet The Pyro"! But why here!?

Lyra wasn't really sure what was happening with her new house guest; first he jumps her with what she assumed was hostile intentions, then he just stared at her for a few awkward moments, got really excited for a moment and now he was in some sort of spiraling depression. She really didn't know what to do next, she had very limited experience dealing with bipolar individuals other than maybe Twilight on occasion or Bonbon when she couldn't decide to go see Octavia or DJ-PON3. She slowly cantered over to his side and poked him in the shoulder with her hoof.

"Uh, hello? Mr…Ms…Mrs…Pyro? Hi, my name's Lyra and I just wanted to say thank you for saving me back there." That pony just talked. Pyro had been abducted by a talking pony…great. He curled up into a ball and began to slowly whimper as the gravity of the misunderstood situation dawned on him; he had been bested by a talking mint-green unicorn. The once soft moans had now turned into full-blown sobs as Pyro began (what Lyra could only assume was) crying. She quietly let herself out after that.

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"Dang weather sure is acting odd these days, glowing balls popping in and out of the sky, and now purple lightning? Are the princess' off their rockers?"

"Heh, they're probably not too far off from being reduced to rocking chairs, old bags! HA!" The rest of the unicorns laughed at the crude attempt at humor. They had all been up late drinking cider and eating a few snack that they "liberated" from some of the weaker citizens of the small mountain community of Hill Yard Town, and with the night just getting underway, nopony was safe from their witty satire. Not even the strange purple lightning.

"PURPLE lightning? What, too good for regular colors? I wonder which pegasus messed THAT up!" said one of the larger unicorns.

"It was probably that one we keep hearing about, Rainbow something…"

"Crash?"

"Yeah that's it; Rainbow Crash! HAWHAWHAW!" They all began to laugh again. An observer could probably feel their I.Q. dropping after watching this drama about how the school systems are failing for more than a minute or so. They continued disrupting the peace of the otherwise quiet mountain face for hours; making insightful commentaries about current fashion, their fellow gang members, and who's mother truly smelled of spoiled poultry.

It wasn't until one of the delinquent unicorns pointed out something heading their way that everypony in the small cavern all focused on the same thing.

"Hahaha! Good one, Mauler! He doesn't wear pants, how would anypony know if they were fancy or not? Hey, what's that?"

"What's what?"

"That…it looks like…a Nightmare Night pumpkin! It's already carved and everything; LET'S SMASH IT!" With that, a small stampede stormed off to mindlessly destroy an oddly placed holiday decoration. Gravel was the first unicorn to reach the pumpkin and take the first buck, which didn't have the results he was hoping for. He spun mid-gallop and planted both hooves squarely on the overgrown squash, only to be sent flying in the opposite direction. The slower unicorns that hadn't quite caught up were forced to hit the dirt as the scrawny thug flew over their heads with the same grace as an eagle piloting a blimp.

The roaring laughter at their counterpart's failed attempt soon died as eveypony in attendance meet the same fate; kicking the vegetable as hard as they could only to have the carved face mockingly stare them down with candle-lit eyes.

"Oy mates, we've been going about this all wrong; we gotta dowse the flame first. S' a fire hazard," said Back Alley as he walked over to the unfazed gourd and lifted one of his back legs. A mound of dirt rapidly formed underneath him out shot the same dark glove that Celestia had defeated mere minutes before. It grabbed the colt by his neck and held him in place.

"ARGH! Let me go, ya' stinking-" He stopped himself as his sleep-deprived eyes followed the glove down to it's arm that was also poking out of the muck and mire; it was nothing but bone.

A second arm appeared and slammed into the soil, struggling with some effort of working solo to haul up it's buried treasure while it's twin continued to hold the adolescent unicorn in a vice grip. The sky over head twisted and grew dim as the stars seemingly vanished from view and was replaced by swirling clouds and an eery mist that arouse from the pumpkin's features. The pumpkin itself shock as the arm forced the rest of the body to arise underneath it. A tattered black cloak was wrapped around the base of the abnormally large pumpkin that connected it to a long torso. The rest of the upper body was more of the same; black tattered shirt with torn sleeves which showcased the bleached bone that solely comprised the exposed part monster's arms. A simple belt with a grotesque silver pumpkin buckle drew the dividing line on where the waist was supposed to be and held up what remained of the creature's pants. Just like with the arms, all that could be seen was pearly white bone down to the large leather riding boots. "Teeth" sprung from the carved mouth's rim and sharpened into fangs.

As the beast stood, a purple aura caused him to glow in the darkness of the cold autumn night. His presence was nothing short of commanding, as he stood at least three times the height of any given pony present at this terrifying scene. He looked down at the quivering pony still trapped in his hand. He had involuntarily relieved himself on the monster's glove, upon noticing this, the beast wound up, and hurled the terrified unicorn into the distance. He wiped his hand and crouched over the hole he had emerged from, peering down into the pit for something of critical importance.

A rock connected with the back of his makeshift head. "HEY! Nopony does that to one of my guys! NOPONY!" The monster did little to acknowledge him other than a slight snort of amusement as he rummaged around in the crater from which he had risen. Switchblade felt his face burn at his increasing anger, and withdrew the weapon for which he was named. "YOU DON'T MOCK ME!"

He used his magic to slam the thin knife into the vertebra of the massive creature who then dipped low into the opening in the ground. Believing his adversary defeated, Switchblade jumped into the air as the other unicorn gangsters cheered and laughed at the fallen abomination.

"AH-HA, FOUND IT." The chilling voice crept into their ears and froze in place. The punctured spine had no effect on the boogie man, he had slumped over only to get a better grip on his weapon of choice. The skeletal arm rose up from the pit to reveal the horrifying Headtaker, which glowed purple and even had the same smile as it's master carved in it. He faced the unicorns, those who weren't too terrified to move started backing away. "NOW, LET'S SEE HOW STRONG THOSE HORNS ARE."

He folded his arms across his chest and looked towards the sky. He vanished into a plume of smoke and reappeared on the other side of the small herd. They weren't so dumb as miss the blatantly obvious fact that he now stood between them and the only path down cliffside, and his slow advance forced them even closer to the abyss.

One of them attempted to teleport himself out of harm's way but his horn only managed to sputter a few dull sparks. Some of the others had the same idea and unfortunately the same results. They had very few options open to them; jump and hope for the best, engage this behemoth in hoof-to-axe combat, or welcomingly accept him as their new overlord. They picked door number 2; FIGHT the big scary fiend armed with an axe that was almost as big as they were.

Fear and cognitive thought gave way to mob mentality as four larger unicorns charged at the giant with their natural weapons rooted firmly in their heads. Poor choice, he was planning on them rushing. With Headtaker back in his possession, he wielded it like an expert, which made sense since he had been practicing with it for over two centuries. One swing was all he needed to take out the lot.

Something was wrong; normally when he sliced off someone's head, he could feel himself becoming more powerful, much like how the spirits that inhabited the cursed Eyelander would enhance their wielder's strength for every decapitation they made with it. So why didn't he feel the same? He looked down at the fallen Equestrians; he had aimed too high and had only severed their horns.

"WELL, GUESS I'LL HAVE TO TRY AGAIN…" He grumbled as he raised the grim axe over his orange pumpkin head but wasn't able to finish the execution before a voice interrupted him.

"HEADSSS…ER, HORNSSS. YEAH, DO HORNS." Horns? What the devil was the Headtaker talking about? The infernal lumberjack picked up one of the horns, the small grey spike was pumping blood at an almost as impressive rate as it's owner's forehead. It shook violently and forced it's way out of his grip and into his hollow head. He glanced down at one of the forming pools of blood that splattered across the cliffside; the horn had placed itself near the eternal candle that illuminated the bowels of his face and had become encased by the strange green growths much like the ones on the left side of his head.

Then he felt the rush. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt! The power was indescribable, and all from one measly unicorn horn. He greedily gathered the others he had amputated and stuffed them into his mouth. The light inside his head grew as bright as the mid-day sun and shown out across the countryside in a cascade of varying colors. The light eventually died down as the horns found their places inside the demon's jaw.

"THIS POWER IS INCONCEIVABLE! I MUST HAVE MORE…" and so he did. He harvested the horns of all those present; some struggled, some pleaded, some even tried to jump and take their chances with the chasm of almost certain doom. Not that they got very far, with each horn consumed, the monster gained a fraction of it's magical ability on top of the strength he received from the Headtaker. He managed to stop any and all attempts at escape with simple levitation spells he cast upon the wannabe lemmings. Fresh blood painted every aspect of the mountain as the pools began to overflow and spill down the mountain.

After twenty minutes of what even the Medic would consider malpractice, it was down to the last of the Hill Yard Gang; Switchblade. He hadn't been able to move after witnessing his friends brutally disfigured and having been splashed with blood multiple times. He could feel the cold air wisp around his ears and trembling legs drenched in sweat. While his friends weren't dead (as far as he could tell), even he knew that a phantom limb would be a horrible fate for anypony…one that he was about to share with his band of thieves.

The glowing purple assailant turned his focus away from the downed unicorn shaking from the cold of the night and blood loss and locked onto Switchblade. They say that everypony sees death before he comes for you, nopony said anything to Switchblade about him being a pumpkin-headed, 12ft. tall axe-wielding skeleton. He began to quake, his throat closed up, and sweat poured down his face and lightly sprinkled the blood-soaked earth. The bipedal terror picked him up with the magic of…oh Celestia, that's Gravel's horn. He'd recognize that green horn and matching aura anywhere, even coming from the jowls of a demon.

"Who-o-o are yo-o-ou?" he stammered nervously. The magical energy fading from his form as the black leather glove tightened around his burning throat.

"MY NAME IS SILAS MANN, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME 'THE HORSELESS HEADLESS HORSEMAN!'" Those were the last words Switchblade heard as a unicorn before he felt an unmatched pain tear through his skull as the Headtaker made short work of his precious horn. "ALTHOUGH, I DON'T PLAN ON BEING HORSELESS FOR VERY LONG…"

Chapter 3: Masked Salamander

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH…" Yawned Lyra as she repositioned herself underneath her warm blankets. She faced away from the blinding alarm clock Celestia had placed in the sky, even though her curtains were doing their best to keep her room as dark as possible, the bright orb had nary a snooze button and soon forced the mare awake. "Alright, you win…I'm up, I'm up…" Although she said it didn't make it true. She felt her stomach grumble, as she hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon before Pyro had regained consciousness.

Pyro. That's right, she had almost spaced him out of her mind, which would be impressive were it not so early and the fact that she probably couldn't have described her Cutie Mark before her morning coffee. Her stomach once again restated it's argument as to why Lyra should get up before it was accompanied by her lower intestines.

"Bathroom…"

She groggily got herself out of her immensely comfortable bed which immediately began to lure her back to it's confines. She managed to resist and walked slowly down her stairs, running over her day in her head as she went.

'Okay; Bonbon said she was coming sometime around noon for our day out, afterwards I have to go get some apples from AJ (that'll be fun), let's see, then I have to-'

"Oh, morning Pyro."

"Murrmp-hurrm."

'-then I have to ask one of those guards if they're doing anything for…Pyro?' The past two days suddenly came rushing back to her; she had a potentially dangerous humanoid fire-starter wandering around her two-story house in the middle of a very small community where word of mouth gets around faster than Rainbow Dash when the Wonderbolts were in town. As now he was…he was…wearing a shower cap?

Lyra rubbed her eyes with her hooves to make sure she wasn't just having a bizarre dream while still incased within her heavenly blanket. No such luck. She stood in the middle of her hallway, mouth agape, as the masked man shuffled, just as slowly as she had been moving, into the bathroom she so desired. She stared blankly at the wooden door for a moment.

"Did he…did he just-"

*click*

"HE DID! He just stole my bathroom! Grrrr…fine, I can be mad about this later. Oh! But as for right now…" The green unicorn sprinted with unparalleled speed as she bolted into her secondary water closet a few more doors down on the other side of the living room. After freshening up, she wandered into her kitchen, still magically wielding her mighty brush to smash the rebellion that was her bed-head.

Lyra's kitchen wasn't very big, something that she wished she could change, it was really more of a counter with a fridge next to it. She was about to pull down some cereal from her pantry when she heard the sound of running water. Well, Pyro was in there taking a shower…NOT WEARING THAT ACCURSED SUIT ANYMORE.

A smile crept it's way across Lyra's green, sleepless face. This might be her only chance to see what a human actually looked like, assuming that the red leathery exterior wasn't in fact his biological skin. No, Lyra had done her research, she knew that humans didn't have a very wide range of colors like ponies did; really only ranging from ghostly white tones to darker shades of brown and black. Some of them had a 'red' skin tone, but nothing quite as vibrant as Pyro.

She moved quietly along the hardwood floor, careful not to hit the spots that caused horrible squeaks when pressure of any sort was applied to them. She got up to the door and carefully undid the tumblers inside the feeble silver lock with her magic and pushed the door open just a crack. Steam immediately arose from the break in the door, which was expected, what wasn't expected was the sudden rush of water that enveloped Lyra's hooves.

"What the hay?" She opened the door a little more, releasing even more hot soapy water into her freshly cleaned living room. "*Sigh* Remain calm, Lyra; this'll all pay off when I get to finally see-" Had it not been for the muscles of her face not allowing it, her jaw would have indeed broken through the floor into her basement.

Inside the flooded room, sat Pyro, still in full combat attire, hanging loosely out of the pony-sized tub that he was clearly too big for. Droplets splashed wildly off of his body, since water had a tendency to do that when confronted with rubber suits, and drenched the white tile floor below. He had made sure that his trademark filtration mask was untouched by the hot water via a pink shower cap. He scabbed his oxygen tank with a scrub brush as he whistled (or in this case muffled) a tune unfamiliar to Lyra. He had a rubber ducky placed carefully on one knee that he kept perfectly still least his yellow friend hit the unforgiving floor.

Pyro glanced over at Lyra, continued to clean himself, then looked back at her and let off a dampened scream as he furiously covered himself with the shower curtain and pointed (with a sparkly clean glove) at the door.

"HUDDHA-HUH! MUMRRRPHRM!!!" Lyra quickly shut the door while her mind attempted to save itself from what she just saw. But it was too late. She grimaced as she wondered back to the kitchen for that coffee she now desperately needed.

After downing the last of the bitter brew, Lyra listened carefully for any sounds coming from the bathroom. The water had stopped running a while ago, and she was starting to get worried about what he could possibly be doing in there; maybe he was planning an escape through the 1X2 window that sat above the shower head? No, if he had wanted to break out, he would have simply knocked her front door down and strolled out. So what was he doing!?

"Oh, how silly of me; there aren't any towels, are there?" She said to the bathroom door. No response. "I was washing them, laundry day and all that! Do you need one?" The door sat motionless, until finally, Pyro spoke up.

"Muum, mo. Hurr murph muuph." Lyra had absolutely not idea what that even meant. For all she knew, he could have been saying anything from hailing a cab to ordering a side of fries. This did little to her resolve.

"Oh…okay, uh, you wait right there and I'll go get some!" She returned from upstairs a moment later with a few towels draped over her back. 'Okay, this morning could have gone better, but hopefully these'll show him that I'm sorry I just barged in…on…him…OH NO!' Lyra froze, the towels fell to the floor. Inside the still steamy bathroom stood Pyro, dripping wet, with the Degreaser pointed at his head. "Pyro! NO!!!" She lunged for Pyro, but she wasn't fast enough, he squeezed the trigger…

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Twilight looked out at the shimmering city. Canterlot was something that couldn't really be described and could only be experienced, at least, that's what Twilight thought. She had grown up in the Royal City as a filly and even though she loved her home in Ponyville and all of her dear friends, she still got homesick for the pristine city.

However, Twilight didn't have time to look at even a fraction of her childhood home before the train she was on rolled into a dark cavern. This wasn't the normal train that she and everypony else rode on, this one was much different. It had a golden engine with the symbol of the guard on it's front, while the cars themselves were white with blue highlights, and it ran on it's own private track that lead along the outside of the city and into the barracks directly under the castle.

"Alright, we're here. Please, follow me Ms. Sparkle." Twilight looked up at Captain Ajax, the white and blue Clydesdale looked down at her with his steely blue eyes that had seen their fair share of combat. He exited the train and stood at attention as a nervous Twilight Sparkle stepped onto the platform. She brushed her dark indigo mane, the pink highlighted steak falling perfectly back into place. She loved the way it did that, the pink in her mane matched the main star on her Cutie Mark that adorned her lavender coat and added flair to her mane and tail…at least, that's what the beauty magazine that Rarity had given her said.

The station they had arrived in from Ponyville was…not a pretty sight. The Grand Central Station in the city was beautiful; maintaining the gold-on-white theme of the rest of the city, the station looked much like the interior of the castle only replacing the elegant tables and chandeliers with a massive clock and ticket booths. This was not the case for the Royal Guard Dispersal Transit. The station was little more than a poorly lit husk entombed within the iconic mountain with guards, both Royal and Night Watch, lining the natural warped walls waiting for redeployment orders. Twilight couldn't imagine having to spend more than twenty minutes in this dreadful pit.

She followed Ajax past a couple guards complaining about their train being delayed for another two hours and up a winding stairwell. She entered a small room with a narrow walkway and an uptight looking unicorn sitting behind a barred desk. Captain Ajax lined up behind the metallic strip.

"Stand on the platform, Captain." The unicorn said in a nasally voice, although Twilight couldn't blame him, the stale air in the cramped room was reeking havoc on her sinuses too. The large stallion stepped up onto the metal plate as it slide forward, rotating clockwise as it went. The stiff looking unicorn's short horn glowed brighter than Twilight would have thought as it enveloped Ajax's being in a surprisingly dull aura. An image of the captain flickered in front of him as he looked him over for any hidden weapons or anything dangerous. After a few moments, he stepped off on the other side of the conveyer.

"Alright, Miss, you're up."

Twilight hesitated, she hadn't dealt with magic-based scanners since was first accepted into Celestia's School for the Gifted when her horn had reacted on it's own accord and hospitalized the scanner with a serious case of being a colorful fruit. She slowly put one hoof one the metal disk before pulling it back with a shiver.

The now very impatient unicorn let his thick-rimmed glasses slide down the bridge of his nose. "Miss, please. I have hundreds of guards waiting for scanning, and you'd better not try and sneak around it, that floor is designed to teleport anypony that touches it straight to a jail cell, so let's move." Twilight shivered, she could see the headlines now; 'Princess Celestia's Star Pupil Incarcerated For Stepping Outside The Lines'. She once again got onto the platform as it moved painfully slow for somepony who just wanted to get off.

She closed her eyes and hoped that nothing would go wrong, nothing would go haywire, and nopony would be reduced to a vegetable (literally or figuratively). She felt aura wash over her as the unicorn began his procedure. After what seemed like hours, Twilight finally dismounted the platform with a sigh of relief as she joined Captain Ajax.

"Thanks for not turning me into a fruit this time…" The unicorn said with a smile. Twi's face went bright red as she walked quickly out of the room. After a few more soulless steel hallways and exhausted looking guards, they finally reached a dead end. Twilight sensed something was amiss; why would Ajax lead her into a dead end hallway with nopony else…no, he couldn't be planning THAT. Could he? Twilight increased the distance between her and the Clydesdale as he continued to the end of the hall. He noticed that his VIP wasn't at his side any longer and turned to see a very paranoid lavender unicorn slowly inching away from him.

"Er…is everything alright, Ms. Sparkle?" His deep voice echoing in the bare hall. Twilight forced a painfully obvious fake smile.

"YES! Everything's fine! Why wouldn't it be? HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Now Ajax was feeling paranoid. He turned towards the wall once more and forced it open to reveal an almost blinding doorway, since Twilight's large purple eyes had adjusted to the low light, she couldn't see what was on the other side. He walked through the light and beckoned her to follow. She slowly made her way into the light and was blown away.

She was standing inside of the banquet hall! The one she had always visited as a filly whenever she had to talk with the Princess, but how did she get there? She turned around to see a large statue depicting the three classes of guards; earth, unicorn, and pegasus. It slide back into place against the wall with nary a sound. Twilight was stunned, and slightly hurt that the Princess hadn't told her about that, Twilight thought she knew everything about Canterlot Castle…she could worry about that later, right now, she had important business with the ruler of Equestria.

The massive doors that lead into the throne room swung wide and revealed Princess Celestia, who looked worse for wear having been up with Luna all night trying to help her condition. Twilight strode casually into the room and sat next to Celestia who smiled at her favorite student while the guards and everypony else bowed and exited.

"So, how was the trip here? Sorry I didn't get a chance to describe how bleak the RGDT has gotten recently." The pure white alicorn said as she levitated two cups of tea from a nearby table.

"Oh, it wasn't that bad, just a little…different. Captain Ajax was a big help."

"Mmm, he is, isn't he? Well, enough small talk; Twilight, I have some rather unsettling news that I want to keep between us. Is that understood?"

Twilight nodded, "Of course, Princess. But shouldn't we wait for Luna?" Celestia sighed, she placed her cup gently on the nearest spot of floor as she continued.

"I'm afraid Luna is part of the problem. Last night, a terrible fiend known as the Horseless Headless Horseman appeared before Luna and I for the first time in over a thousand years. Right now, Luna is bedridden while under the careful eye of some of Equestria's best physicians."

Twilight didn't know how to respond, other than catching the glass she almost let shatter on the marble floor. "Oh my gosh! Is she okay!? That monster didn't hurt her did it?" Celestia placed a hoof in front of Twilight's mouth and silenced her.

"Luna appears to be fine, she just had a horrible reaction to his arrival," a smile found it's way onto the Princess' worried features "much like how you had a less than savory experience with the magical scanners if I remember correctly." Twilight blushed again. Did everypony here find out about that? "In any case, his presence here means that one of my oldest sealing spells has either worn off or has been broken by an outside force, and considering the amount of power Luna and I put behind that charm, I think it would most likely be the latter."

"Then we have to stop him!" Twilight stood, ready for action. "I'll travel back to Ponyville as fast as I can- Wait! I'll just send Spike a letter and have THEM travel here! Princess, may I borrow some ink and-" Again, Celestia's golden shoe silenced her over-active student.

"That's not the best way of going about this; he is a very powerful warlock and could easily defeat either I or Luna in a one-on-one situation. Silas is predicable, unlike Discord, so I have already set traps for him in the locations he will most likely resurface. One of which being this year's Nightmare Night Celebration here in Canterlot. I do not want to cause any undue stress and make our current situation worse."

Twilight's face lit up at the thought of having Nightmare Night in her home city but then drew a puzzled look as she digested what the Princess had just said.

"Uh, Princess, when you called the Headless Horseless-"

"Horseless Headless, everypony makes that mistake."

"Right; the Horseless Headless Horseman, you called him 'Silas'. Do you know this creature?" Twilight cocked her head to the side and moved her ears so they faced her teacher at a better angle.

Celestia sighed. "I do…we do, Luna and I, he played a very important role in early Equestrian life. He was also a dear friend of Luna's."

"What happened…?"

"Well, I should probably start at the beginning; about twelve hundred years ago, Silas Mann became the first human to ever set foot in Equestria..."

==========================================================

Lyra wasn't moving, and Pyro was really getting worried about the small green pony. She had jumped in his way while he was trying to blow-dry himself off with his Degreaser's air compression blast, and she had caught the lion's share of it which had sent her crashing into the adjacent wall. Steam rose off of Pyro's still semi-wet body, his natural (if not abnormally high) body temperature evaporating the lingering water drops from his synthetic hide.

Pyro had been fanning her with the towels she has bringing him in an attempt to give her air, it was the only thing he could think of! Why hadn't he paid more attention to the Medic during his downtime instead of finding new ways to light things on fire? Actually, never mind that last part. That was important, and probably saved his bacon more times than he cared to recount. He really didn't have any ties to this horse; sure he had saved her from those flammable wolves, and she had brought him to her flammable house when he had passed out. Wow, this towel looks flammable.

He was broken out of his daydream by a thumping noise coming from upstairs. Could it be a Spy!? Not wanting to take any chances, he grabbed his Degreaser, lit the pilot light, and- whoa, hold up. He glanced around the room, seeing a bunch of colorful decorations and pictures of the unconscious unicorn with various other brightly colored ponies. Especially the one with the blue and pink mane, she was in a lot of those.

This wasn't Teufort, or Hydro, or Gorge…hell, it wasn't even RAWR (and that place was WEIRD). He lowered his man-made dragon and dowsed the pilot light with his fingers. Even he knew that he had to modify his behavior if he wanted to go unnoticed, and possibly, if he had to try and fit in.

The knocking must have been louder than he thought as Lyra began to stir, that was good; she would wake up, go fix that thumping sound that was slowly reminding Pyro how flammable things around him really were and…notice the small community pool he had unknowingly installed in her living room that lead back to her bathroom.

Pyro would rather take his chances with the mysterious sound than an angry pony. He bolted up the stairs and attempted to hide. Downstairs, Lyra sat up as she tried to stop her head from spinning while remembering what had happened.

'Something to do with Pyro…he was- ow my head…he was doing something bad. What was it…? It had to do with the flamethrower…oh, he had it pointed at his head and I went flying for some reason…ugh.' Lyra felt water splash around her hoof, that's when she noticed the lake forming in her house. "Grrr, Pyro…*sigh* FINE. I'll deal with this and then I'm coming after you." she said the last part a little louder in case the firebug was within earshot. She got back on her hooves and grabbed the unused towels with her magic and mopped up the suds while moving the wet throw rugs into a hamper.

She trotted back over to her cabinets and began to rummage for something to eat. She located her prey; a wild box of Daring Do Cereal. After finishing off the last of the herd of marshmallow bits, she heard a thump come from upstairs.

"I've got you now…" she said as she stalked her way up the stairs. She crept around the corner, ready to pounce, when she stopped herself. The last time she "snuck up on Pyro" she had almost lost eight pounds of fat above her neck at the tip of a repurposed volcano. She slowly moved into plain sight, and…

"HI LYRA! I brought you a letter!" Said the grey pegasus mailmare. She was perched on top of Pyro's backpack with her mailbag swung over her shoulder, as was her blonde mane. Her yellow, crooked eyes were half focused on a confused Lyra and the backpack she seemed to be attempting to get into.

"Oh, hi Derpy…uh, not that it's not great to see you, but, what're you doing in my house? Shouldn't you be dropping off my mail and then getting back on your route?"

The grey mare simply smiled at her. "That's what I'm doing, Lyra! But for some reason, your mailbox is up here, good thing I noticed it when I flew by!" She continued to try to open the stubborn green mailbox. Lyra examined the box poking out of the brown pack; that wasn't her mailbox, that was…shoot, what's it called? The "Postal Pummler"? Yeah, one of Pyro's stranger items that he had. It wasn't even the right numbers, this thing had "606", her address was "506". Duh. "This thing really doesn't want to open, did you glue it shut? That happened to me once."

"No, here," she forced it open with her horn, releasing a cloud of dust from within the previously unopened container, "there we go, just need to force it a bit." Derpy's face lit up and she happily placed her important message in the defeated mailbox and raised the little red flag in triumph. She turned back towards the open window to leave.

"Oh, by the way, is that a Nightmare Night decoration? It's cool!" said Derpy pointing back down the hall. Lyra turned to see what she was pointing at, and her whole being drained of color as she saw what she was indicating. Behind her, about thirty feet from the doorway, stood Pyro, using his mimicking skills to impersonate the lamp he had knocked over by dawning it's lampshade.

Lyra was about to explode when an idea crossed her mind, something that Derpy had said…NIGHTMARE NIGHT DECORATION!

"YES!" The sudden shriek startled Derpy and she fell back onto the backpack with a clang. "Oops, sorry, Derpy. But to answer your question; yes, that is indeed a Nightmare Night decoration." Derpy shook her head from the impact.

"Ow Lyra, what do you have in this thing?"

"Uh…more decorations! Yeah, I'm really going all out this year, hehe." Derpy nodded and flew out the window after only bashing her head once. Lyra let out a huge sigh of relief, not only did she not have to try and explain Pyro to Derpy, but now she had an almost perfect cover for him if he gets seen! Speaking of which; "Pyro, care to explain the flood I had to mop up downstairs?" She said as she tapped her hoof impatiently. Pyro didn't move at first, then he slowly took off the lampshade and tried to make himself as small as he could by bringing up his shoulders and turning slightly away from her. He knew he was in trouble.

"Mmmmm, murrm humhur." He shrugged. He wasn't good with water, in fact, he hated the liquid substance. Lyra put her hoof to her face, she grumbled under her breath.

"Okay…as punishment, you have to…" she glanced at the open window, "weed my garden outback. Hop to it." Lyra said in a superior tone as she waved him off. Pyro didn't take being punished the way Lyra thought he would at all; he jumped up and down and clapped giddily as he did so before rushing past Lyra and into the room Derpy had just left. He energetically rummaged through his belongs and withdrew a rake that was the same color as the Postal Pummler (with what Lyra was fairly certain was dried blood from previous battles) and a red "Madame Dixie" hat with yellow flowers attached via matching band. With his proper gear assembled, he sprinted downstairs to begin his "punishment".

Lyra sighed. She listened to the heavy footsteps all the way down to her kitchen and out the screen door. Well, at least her gardening would get done so she could get ready for when Bonbon comes over…in twenty minutes! The morning had slipped away from her. She ran inside of Pyro's room to grab one of the clean towels she kept in there for a quick shower when she paused. On the bed before her lied the opened mailbox with the message Derpy had delivered, but there was something else inside the dusty tomb. A picture.

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"Twilight? Twilight can you hear me? Quick-Fix, is she alright?"

"I don't know, mein Prinzessin. You said zhe collapsed after you mentioned somezing unsettling, yah?"

Twilight opened her eyes and was blinded by the ridiculous amount of sunlight the throne room's windows let wash over one of the most important places in all of Equestria. The sun had moved across the sky since she passed out, and was now at high noon, it looked just like Celestia's Cutie Mark. She blinked the blur away and looked up at the two ponies standing over her; one was Princess Celestia, the other…

"Oh…Princess? Ugh, I must've fainted, you were saying something about- MMPH!" Twilight was cut short by a hoof shoved into her mouth as the doctor examined the Princess' star pupil. "Mmmph? Ommur-Mos?"

"Hmm? Nein, I am not Over-Dose. Mein namen ist Quick-Fix. I am ze Prinzessin's ozer medic on call." Twilight focused her still blurry vision on her examiner, he certainly was not Over-Dose. Quick-Fix looked amazingly like the blue unicorn, only with pegasus wings instead of a horn and a red fur coat with matching cross Cutie Mark. Twilight spat the hoof out of her mouth.

"Thank you, but I think I'm okay, really." Quick-Fix saluted the two of them and let himself out of the shimmering chamber. Twilight righted herself on her pillow seat next to Celestia. "I'm sorry, Princess, but I thought you said 'humans in Equstria.' That sounds like something Lyra would be concerned about." She laughed nervously, the stern look on her mentor's face told her that she had indeed heard her correctly.

"I am quite serious, Twilight Sparkle. I too once thought creatures such as these only existed in stories and in over-active imaginations, but the fact of the matter is-"

"HOLY MOLY! Silas Mann is the HHH!?"

The voice seemed to erupt from out of nowhere. Twilight and the Princess looked around the seemingly empty room; nothing but them and the thrones…and the teakettle.

"Pinkie…" Twilight sighed as she levitated the porcelain kettle and flipped it upside-down. She shook it it a few times until a poofy, pink, cotton candy tail popped out.

The tail was soon followed by a lighter pink leg that had three balloons adorning it's flank, two blue one yellow, followed by the rest of the self-proclaimed master of ceremonies: Pinkie Pie. She shook her mane free of stray tea drops until it was a bouncy as her tail, and just as curly. "Pinkie, how long were you in there? How did you you even manage to- never mind. Can't you see the Princess and I are talking?"

Pinkie swiveled her head around in an almost impossible angle and focused her large blue eyes on the white alicorn giving her a confused look before spinning the rest of her body to face her and awkwardly bowed.

"Hey, Princess! I was just having some of that super-yummy tea and I must've fallen asleep, until I heard you talking about Silas!" The pink party pony received a strange look from Princess Celestia, she did notice it since she was busy wringing the last of the herbal tea out of her tail, but Twilight saw it. It was utter shock. Celestia quickly recovered.

"Ms. Pie; would you kindly inform me of how one such as yourself came to know about Silas Mann?" Said Celestia using all of the authority she could muster.

"Oh, I know more than just about him; yeah, I know about the whole Mann family, their relationship with the Hale family, and the fight between Blutarch and Redmond using paid mercenaries!" She slurped up the tea that she had managed to get out of her tail.

Celestia fought the urge to scream. How on her green earth had somepony, and a pink earth pony none the less, found out about something most of the Royal Liberians had never even dreamed of?

She inhaled deeply, "Ms. Pie, would you please answer my question?"

"Oh, sorry Princess. My great great great great great great great great great great grandfather had a journal that he handed down from son to son until my dad got it! He was in the guard a REALLY long time ago, he had one story in there about humans! My dad said it wasn't true, he said that grandpa wrote something called 'fan fiction' and that was just one of his stories."

"Hmm, Pinkie, do you remember what your grandfather's name was?" Asked Twilight, now very interested in learning something new about history.

"You bet! It was Commander Ironsides! He was captain of the guard for a while too." Celestia's ears perked up. That name…she hadn't heard that name in over a thousand years, he was one of her first captains of the guard. Now that she thought about it, his fondness for throwing birthday parties for everypony in his squad probably got passed down to Pinkie.

Twilight watched as her teacher's eyes glazed over for a moment, "Uh, Princess?"

Celestia rejoined the conversation that she accidentally left. "Mmm, my apologies, I was just thinking about those chaotic days. Now, as I was saying before Ms. Pie joined us; Silas Mann unwittingly became the first human in Equestria some twelve hundred years ago. Back when Luna and I ruled together as one…"

=====TIME WARP=====

"OH OH OH! Wait a minute!"

Yes, Pinkie?

"What about that picture Lyra found? And what about the Mann family!? Don't we get to hear about them?"

Well, yes, but you're going to have to wait until the next chapter.

"Aww, c'mon! PLEASE?"

Sorry, but that's all for now. But I promise the next chapter will wrap up all of the backstory so we can get back to Lyra and Pyro.

"Okey-Dokey-Lokey! Say, do I get to do any fighting?"

…Maybe...

Chapter 4: Charmingly Rustic (Part 1)

Chapter 4: Charmingly Rustic (Part 1)

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

Long ago, (twelve hundred years ago to be precise) before even Canterlot came into being, the Royal Pony Sisters ruled the magical land of Equestria together in peace and harmony. They resided in a mystical and vastly unexplored part of Equestria known as the Everfree Forest, with a stone fortress they had constructed themselves. The stronghold itself was fairly small for the house of the Goddesses but it served it's purpose well, keeping out unwanted wildlife and ponies alike. A chosen few had been selected to serve within it's sturdy walls, namely cooks and a few guards to keep away anypony who might be looking to pick a bone with either regal deity. Unlike the Canterlot that would be, the bastille was made of simple stone bricks (clean as the day they were made and stronger than diamond to be sure) and was only a fraction of the future Canterlot Castle.

One bright summer's day, Celestia and Luna where relaxing on the upper balcony after a hard day's work, waiting for evening court where they would attend to more pressing matters.

"Ah, ye warm rays o' Our sun doth have a soothing quality unmatched by any other means. What sayest thou, sister?" The white alicorn stretched as she spoke in the language of the day.

"Thou shalt hear no disagreement from Our lips, sister, thy celestial body doth indeed banish Our fatigue in a most pleasing way. Hast thou any knowledge o' ye whereabouts o' Discord?" Luna rolled over on her solid gold lounge chair to better face her sister. Luna was roughly the same size as Celestia, although Celestia could still be seen as the elder of the two.

"Neigh, dear sister, We hath not seen him for some duration, We suspect he has some jest in ye works." They began to giggle at the thought of another cotton candy rain cloud drenching them in chocolate milk when they both went very quiet very quickly. The two pegasi maids (neither of whom could direct magic) looked at one another as the two sisters slowly rose to their hooves, they both faced the north tower as if they were anticipating something. Nothing. They glanced at one another and where about to return to doing absolutely nothing when…

*Kra-KOOOOM* "Ugh…dammit…" Came a voice from the south library, it sounded older and not very happy. The two sisters warped to the end of the hall and faced the smoke-filled room that once housed some VERY important books.

"Hark! What hath transpired here?" asked Celestia.

"'Hark'? Don't give me that, Radigan, I've had quite enough of you and your experiments today." The creature that emerged wasn't anything that the Princesses had expected to see; a human. Although, they assumed he was some sort of off-color Diamond Dog that had stumbled into the castle. He wore a long black coat that was fairly common for gentlemen in the mid 1800's, with black slacks and a matching pair of dress shoes, he was covered head to foot with soot and dust. He removed some protective goggles and knocked the dust out of his receding, grey hairline while attempting to restore his vision from the explosion at Radigan Conagher's Tools & Munitions by rubbing the ash out of his eyes. "Congratulations are in order I suppose; it's not everyday you manage to ruin my best suit, blind me, and make me look like a fool all in one fell swoop."

He was so wrapped up in his endeavor to clear his aged eyeballs that he failed to notice the two alicorns standing awe-struck in front of him, he didn't even realize that he had left 1840 America at all. He strode right past Celestia and Luna and (to the shock and horror of the maids who quickly abandoned their posts at the sight of the human) sat himself down on one of the royal seats and continued to massage his pupils.

Celestia and Luna stood at either side of the doorway in absolute silence; what the hay was this thing? He didn't seem too dangerous, and he certainly didn't seem to have any idea how he had unexceptionally arrived in the sisters' private study. Celestia brought herself up to her full height, unfolded her simmering wings of ivory and approached the creature; what kind of ruler would she be if she didn't make first contact with a previously unknown entity? A sucky one, that's what.

She towered over the elderly man, "Hark, strange creature, what business doth thou have with Us, or o' Equestria?"

The man stopped his fruitless endeavor, and looked blurry-eyed at the magnificent creature that had addressed him. With his vision not yet at full strength (and his ears still ringing from the incident) he only made out part of what was asked and the tone of the voice, a woman's voice.

"Elizabeth…"

"Keep thine tongue under lock and key, errant varlet, lest thou finds thy self in deeper peril!" Celestia had flared her wings up and her tone had changed to one of annoyance. "Look upon ye one thou callest 'Elizabeth!'" WIth that, the angered Princess' horn glowed with a powerful yellow aura that found it's way into the man's eyes. She quickly gathered herself and returned to her normal royal manner once more. "Thine vision hath returned, now gaze upon-"

"Mother of all that is holy…" The man was already up and looking over the balcony at the surrounding forest. "IT WORKED! HAHAHA! Radigan, we can finally move matter through vast distances of space with the press of a button! We can finally- my God when did you let horses in here?" He examined the white horse before him, wondering how much time it took to get her coat that white, or to get her mane…to…move…"Oh my…"

Had Celestia not locked her lavender eyes onto the strange creature, she would have assumed he possessed the ability to teleport. He was suddenly on the right side of her flank, closely examining her flowing tail. He waved his hand through it and attempted to grab hold of it, but Celestia willed it intangible and it slipped between his finger like sparkling, multi-colored smoke. "Fascinating. What's this? A stencil of the sun? So strange…" He moved away from the illusive tail and focused on her Cutie Mark; a large golden sun. At first he thought it was just another dye job by whatever lunatic had gotten hold of this poor creature, but looking closer, he saw that the colors went all the way down to the skin, which was also a pure white. He parted the fur that composed her Cutie Mark with his fingers to further examine this scientific discovery when negotiations broke down completely.

"Thou artless, ill-bred mongrel! Were We not within ye hallowed halls, We would SMITE thee…" Her face turned red as she hissed at the now severely confused man who was now starting to inch back towards the stone railing. That horse just spoke, and by the look of that horn that was pointed directly at his forehead, he should probably choose his response CAREFULLY.

"Uh, I…um…er…I…uh…" Not the witty response he was hopping for.

"Guards!" Two unicorns in shimmering gold armor appeared on either side of the human and summoned chains that coiled around his arms and legs, "Take this witless jackanape to ye dungeon!"

"Verily!" they spoke in unison and teleported the disheveled man to the lower rings of the rather extensive prison area of the castle. Luna finally stepped forward after Celestia had time to cool off and started breathing normally again.

"Such fearsome circumstances, pray tell, o' what manner 'twas that beast?"

"We know not, dearest sister, only that 'twere he any potent threat he would hath revealed his heraldry upon arrival."

Luna looked down at her light blue greaves. "There be much in what you say, and yet, We feel as though there be foul work at play."

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"Unbelievable, I must be dreaming. That's what happened; the explosion at the lab KILLED me and this is some sort of strange limbo I'm sure my brother has something to do with…*sigh* Well, Silas; what are you going to do now?" Silas Mann, co-founder of Mann Co., master inventor…was currently hanging upside-down by his ankles above what he was certain was a 'present' left by a previous prisoner. He had given up struggling against the magical chains that bound him and instead focused on attracting the attention of the guards who at this point were all but drowning out his pleas. "Excuse me, good sirs, would you be so kind as to explain to me WHY I'm locked in this Godforsaken place?"

"Thou art to be subdued for touching her Royal Highness, knave!" barked a rather angry pegasus guard. Being sentenced to guard detail in the dungeon was punishment in itself; the floors were sticky, light was scarce, the inmates' howls caused migraines, and the smell…the guards could overlook every other detail where it not for the smell. It was not one that the guards could avoid either, Celestia knows they've tried, everything from cloth masks to scented candles, but nothing seemed to halt the rampaging beast that was the eye-watering stench. So it only made sense that the guards subjected to this everyday were in horrible moods to match.

Silas sighed. 'Fine, if you won't free me, I'll just let myself out on walkabout.' Silas pushed his wrist against his sleeve and a small, gold key dropped into his waiting hand. With the skill of a expert craftsman, he found where the keyhole was imbedded and threw the key into place, he thrashed his body again and the key turned until it clicked. "Haha! Yes! Now I caaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! *BAM* *Splash* Ugh…"

Both of the guards' ears perked up, they had indeed heard Silas forgetting that he was suspended twenty feet in the air and rushed into his cell, only to be laid out by the same iron coils that moments before contained the human infiltrator.

Silas poked his head out from the cell and scanned the immediate area, it was clear…of more ponies, the same could not be said for roaches and other vermin. He ran back up the spiral stone tower and found himself in the main foyer, this gave him pause for thought; he really had no idea where the dungeon was connected to since the unicorns had teleported him into that wretched hovel. He looked around once more, safe. He emerged from the doorway and felt the warmth of the sunlight that was pouring in from the massive windows to his side and the skylight up above.

He looked around and notice that the sun was indeed setting, he had lost too much time as it was and desperately needed to report his findings to Radigan.

"Time to find what's left of my teleporter."

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"…and thus concludes mine report o' ye goings on in yonder Western Fields, my Liege." The courthouse rang with the sounds of neighing, cheers, and stamping hooves. The older general pony sat back on his seat next to other distinguished members of the Royal Sisters' Cabnet of varying colors. The requirement for those in service to have their coats and manes altered according to jurisdiction (white and blue for pegasi, dark grey and white for unicorns, and charcoal with purple bat-like manes and wings for Luna's Secret Service) wouldn't be put into effect for another few hundred years when a riot in Canterlot lead to multiple guards being beaten and/or jailed because they couldn't tell each other apart (riot guards didn't wear as flashy protection at the time).

"Alas, these 'Diamond Dogs' art rather troubling, they may yet prove to be a worth foe if given enough passage o' time. In short, we must smite them before they gather strength!" said Commander Hurricane from his floating cloud seat. The sphere of a courthouse was split into three rings; the upper pegasi ring, the central unicorn ring with Luna and Celestia's seats suspended in the center, and finally the earth ponies near the ground floor. The unconventional parliament chamber sat atop the east tower and had an amazing view of the Everfree Forest (or at least the tree line). The top of the sphere was just a massive skylight with opening windows to allow pegasi easy access and to let in as much natural light as possible for both the sun and moon. Not to mention, let in fresh air to cool off the hot tempers that often flared within and halted important business that would then get pushed to the next meeting only to get pushed back by ANOTHER fight that would inevitably break out. To help avoid this, Celestia and Luna had built the courtroom so that each race could mingle with their own kind while still being able to hear and speak to other members sitting elsewhere.

This arrangement had been the topic of many arguments; from the Royal Pony Sisters being closer to the unicorns suggested favoritism, the pegasi being higher up and on clouds were thought to be held in higher regards, and the earth ponies being on the bottom thought they weren't as valued as the others, etc. Fortunately, these issues hadn't surfaced during this particular evening court since Celestia hadn't allowed any lulls in the business at hoof and they simply didn't have time for in-fighting. What she had to say next might bring her record to an end.

"Gentlecolts, We hath some disturbing news; earlier, when yonder bell towers chimed but noon, We happened upon a devious creature," the room fell silent, save the sound of teeth clacking together as their owners manually closed their wide-open jaws with their hooves, "but, ye beast hath been captured and now lays within these fortress walls as prisoner."

"What ho, a creature thou sayest? Pray, o' what manner was this mysterious being, Milady?" came a voice from the crowd which was quickly followed by a dull mummer of more of the same question.

Luna cut off her sister before she could respond, "In truth, We know not what. It be o' some manner of being that We hath yet encountered, but prithee, We hath nary a reason to-"

A frantic looking pegasi guard burst through the large wooden door, destroying the silence and suspense that had been building along with a snack tray and a few cups.

"Miladies, the beast doth roam these hallowed halls, though I know not where!"

As if it were scripted; everpony looked at each other, then back at the panting guard, then once more at a different pony, before galloping/flying through the doors with a personal battle cry in search of the escaped monster.

"-fear this being. Nightsoil…" Luna cursed under her breath, this wasn't going to end well. The two alicorns gently floated down from their roost and pursued the angry mob of high-ranking officials, quickly catching up with them and inadvertently leading the aimless charge.

With her enhanced hearing, Luna caught the sound of metal clanging together and footsteps coming from the foyer. She barreled left and broke away from the rest of the crowd, which was made simpler since night had fallen some hours ago during court and her midnight blue pelt made her almost invisible in the dimly lit halls. Only her crescent moon Cutie Mark could be seen bobbing up and down the empty halls.

She stopped at the doorway and slowly poked her head in to see what the human was up to. It was incredible. In the hours between his escape and now, he had managed to haul the surprisingly heavy teleporter prototype from the guard lockers and nearly finish repairs. That wasn't all he had been doing, as Luna soon noticed; he had also crafted various models and a few contraptions that lied scattered around his feet. Luna watched him work in silence for a moment, using tools that she didn't recognize save the hammer and saw.

He would also occasionally scribble something in a notebook that lay by his side. Luna pushed the door open a bit further to get a better look.

"You can stop hiding, I know you're there. Why not come out of there and have a look, hm?" He had a very calm tone for someone in his position, he didn't even look up from his work.

"We…We know not…how doth thou…?"

"Hmph," Silas smiled as the Night Goddess walked cautiously into the dull candle light he was working by, "I have two very dim-witted nephews that often spent time at my manor, having eyes in the back of your head is almost a requirement." He groaned at the mere mention of Redmond and Blutarch, those idiots had fought over literally EVERYTHING ever since they were born. Luna trotted over to him, still keeping her distance, and looked at the wondrous do-dads he had been messing with.

"Pray tell, what be yonder device?" She wrapped one of the trinkets in a blue light and brought it closer so she could see it in the flickering candle light. Although it was completely alien to her, any human would recognize it without fail; a wind-up toy. Silas extended his hand to show her how it worked but was met with Luna flaring her dark sapphire wings to their fullest extent and a dirty look.

Silas mentally smacked himself in the back of the face. Of course she's paranoid about him; he escaped from the dungeon after dropping into her library with an explosion, and she still didn't know if he was a threat. Not to mention that if these times were the same as his medieval era, than touching royalty was grounds for swift death. He lowered himself into more of a bowing position and withdrew his hand. He cleared his throat.

"Your majesty, if I may…"

Luna looked him over again before relaxing her beautiful wings and placing the toy in front of him. "Aye, that shall indeed give Us mirth." Silas took that as a yes. He scooped up the wind-up mouse and produced a key from his long black jacket which laid on the floor behind him and inserted it into the back of the faux rodent. After a few cranks, he placed the key in his pocket and the toy on the cobble stone floor. The mouse ran in circles on the floor before Silas and…Luna?

Silas looked around for the darker of the two pony sisters as the mouse continued to lap the same square two foot area on the floor. Had she teleported? Did she have the ability to turn invisible? Did she- oh, there she is. Mr. Mann looked up to see Princess Luna, co-ruler of the land of Equestia and Goddess in charge of the moon, hugging one of the support columns that lined the foyer for dear life. Silas couldn't help but laugh as he picked up the toy mouse and stopped it's gears.

"Forgive me, I haven't laughed in a very long time…" He continued to snicker as Luna floated down from her awkward perch and thanked her lucky stars that her coat hid her blushing cheeks. They talked for what seemed like hours about different kinds of inventions and various types of magic. When the aimless mob finally found them, Luna stepped forward and persuaded them to let Silas stay long enough to fix his teleporter (what would become known as the Royal Canterlot Voice helped too).

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And so it came to be that Silas Mann was permitted to stay within the castle under the watchful eye of the Royal Guards. During his time there, he shared his knowledge of what was the modern age; hot air balloons, trains, farming machinery, proper speech (which made conversations much easier on the aged human), and indoor plumbing. That in particular won him numerous metals and awards in Social Sciences (especially since he introduced the field of Social Science). Sadly, progress on the teleporter was slow and tedious since he was forced to triple-check everything before making any attempts to travel home due to limited number of parts at hand, or hoof, depending if he worked with any of the scholars Luna provided for him. It was during one of these frustrating work sessions that Celestia taught Silas a trick that would grant him near unimaginable wealth, and that all had to do with…

"Keys?" Celestia placed a hoof over her muzzle as she tried not to inhale the alarming amount of smoke the teleporter was spewing from it's casing. Silas had been in the middle of explaining to the Sun Goddess what his ACTUAL job at Mann Co. was before the small metal machine had burst into disturbingly large flames and he had to sacrifice part of his favorite (and only) coat to pulverize the mini-inferno. After taking a moment to catch his breath and extinguish the charred parts of his sleeve, he turned to the alabaster Goddess.

"Yes Princess, keys. You see, Mann Co. has been running a promotional deal where large, locked boxes are randomly distributed to our regular customers for no charge," Celestia tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrow as she tried to see the economic sensibility behind this idea…none to be found. "That was my reaction to it at first too. Each box contains a random item from the store; anything from week-old cheese logs to great and powerful hats."

Celestia sighed. "Oh, Silas, I will never understand your bizarre obsession with hats…" she giggled as she recounted the time when she had presented him with a hat from her wardrobe during a downpour and he had jumped higher than any non-pegasis could ever hope to.

Silas coughed from the still billowing smog pouring from the busted teleporter. "We've been over this, Princess; throughout history, men have worn hats as a way of showing how much better they are than other men. 'Buy hats,' a behatted man seems to say. 'I am better than you.' Anyway, anyone who had shopped at Mann Co. got one of these boxes, and most of them got one of these when they joined our premium services…" He knelt down to his battered jacket and withdrew a simmering golden key from a pile of soot that filled one of his pockets, it had the Mann Co. emblem imbedded on it's side. "Now, this is where we hit a snag; our patented un-crackable locks could all be opened by the premium keys, thus, we had to change the locks…"

"So people would buy the new keys for their crates in order to get what was inside." said Celestia as she tapped her hoof on the floor in leu of snapping.

Silas nodded, "Exactly, my dear Lady. But then we would once again have the same problem of everyone having keys for their items, and Mann Co. loses money. It's…WAS my job to create new tumblers for the un-crackable locks." He unceremoniously discarded the now useless key off to the side, the metal striking the floor echoed more than he thought it would and apologized to Celestia before turning back to his uncooperative portal home. "After all, what good is a key without it's lock?" He knew what the answer was, it looked back at him in every reflective surface he saw.

Celestia's glimmering horn glowed as she picked up the key with bright yellow magic and examined it. She turned it over and over before a smile crept over her face. The light intensified around the key for a moment and then flowed into the small gold trinket as though it were inhaling. The Princess, happy with her work, turned back to Silas (who had been busy trying to locate exactly what part had exploded this time around) and levitated the key in front of him. Silas grabbed it as the golden aura dissipated, something was different about it, it seemed lighter.

Silas grabbed a lock that he had in his other coat pocket, he placed the key in the gunmetal grey contraption and turned it. As always, the tumblers within clicked and rolled loudly as the metal brace at the top popped loose. He was about to give the Royal Pony a sarcastic look when the key in his hand fragmented and fell to the floor as an utterly defeated three-dimensional jigsaw puzzle.

He could only stare at the mound of gold dust on his black shoes as the tumblers inside his own head began to click. His eyes grew wide as he turned to the white Sun Deity with the biggest smile his face could handle but his speech was halted by an equally warm smile.

"Yes, I can teach you make all of your keys just like that one without the use of magic," said the gentle yet commanding voice. Silas had to reframe himself from hugging her as the guards would cut him down where he stood if he did, so hopping up and down like a lunatic would have to do for now.

"Hehehehehe, Ya-HOOOOOO!!!"

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A few weeks later, Silas got a break when two of the scholars that had been assigned to him accidentally discovered that the sparks generated by two unicorn horns clashing together in an impromptu fencing match brought on by sheer boredom could power the teleporter. Coupled with advanced teleportation spells cast by Celestia and Luna, Silas could pinpoint where he would end up with having to worry about any more inter-dimensional mishaps, or ending up as a gruesome skid mark on the fabric of reality. As the shimmering purple portal crackled to life and transformed into a spiraling tear in the fabric of space/time, he looked back at the wonderful individuals who had taught the aged man much about friendship. Before he parted, he proclaimed that he would one day return to Equestria to see his newfound friends, and with that, he stepped through the glaring portal and vanished with a flash as the wormhole faded, taking the temperamental teleporter base with it.

Luna couldn't help but cry. Leaving friends was always hard, and as an eternal being, she and her elder sister had both had to deal with the sadness of losing the ones they held dear time and time again over the years…it was something she would never overcome. She felt a familiar wing wrap around her tightly, she looked up at it's owner to see the embodiment of the sun smiling down at her. Not a tear to be seen on her flawless face that had caused envy for thousands upon thousands of mares all around Equestria. Luna was about to ask her sister how she could be so uncaring when she suddenly understood why she was so happy; Silas Mann had promised to return someday, and all they had to do was wait.

Centuries pass...

Chapter 5: Charmingly Rustic (Part 2)

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

Two hundred years had pasted since Equestria had crossed paths with another plane of existence, and much had transpired in those two centuries: For starters, the Royal Pony Sisters had left their old stone fortress after the original battle with Discord had left it in shambles, and had built a new one on the side of the tallest mountain in Equestria. It was now ten times the size of the original castle and was constructed from marble and solid gold that some say was extracted right from the mountain itself, it had also attracted quite the many followers who had set up a city within the castle's mighty walls. It came to be known as: Canterlot, the new capital of Equestria.

The new capital also brought new problems. The Diamond Dogs had been on the warpath and were ripping up the countryside in search of gems and other precious metals, normally that wouldn't be a problem, but now they were expanding their zealous search into pony territory and were starting to take jewelry from travelers. Guards (now required to wear colors that reflected their race) had been dispatched to try and bring the canine criminals to justice, only to have them escape underground. The only ones that had been caught were the ones foolish enough to try and lift items off of ponies near the capital city and were bound by magic before they could burrow back into the maze of tunnels they had been constructing underneath the vast majority of Equestria.

While the Royal Pony Sisters were still deeply involved in politics, they had assigned hoof-picked guards who had proven themselves to run the military and deal with the daily goings on. One of these nobel stallions, was none other than Commander Ironsides, a war hero from the battle with Discord who had distracted the beast with his unconventional antics which ultimately lead to the monster's downfall. It was his duty to keep the peace in his homeland, and to ensure the safety of it's citizens and the sister monarchs.

It was a rather gloomy and overcast day in Equestia, as the harvest season was drawing to close before the storms of winter covered the land in an icy blanket, Luna paced the throne room as she prepared to shift her elegant celestial body closer to the Earth and illuminate the night sky. It was something she had planned on doing this for months and after weeks of begging her big sister 'Tia', she was finally ready. Yes, the ponies would finally appreciate her beautiful nights as she herself had for thousands of years prior. Celestia sat at her golden throne and watched her sister anxiously canter from one end of the long room to the other with a smile on her face.

"Luna, calm down. You're going to do just fine, you have nothing to worry about," said Celestia with a small giggle. She knew it would annoy Luna to no end if she ever brought it up, but she looked so cute when she got herself worked up.

"Oh…I know, Tia. But I just…my nights were never as popular as the bright days your sun brings, so I hope that…that…they appreciate all that I do for them…" Luna's voice trembled with every word she spoke with a mix of excitement and nervousness. She so desperately wanted to be looked up to like her sister, to be a role model for fillies everywhere like her sister, to be beautiful like her sister…not to be looked upon like a sidekick to THE Princess Celestia.

Celestia sighed. She slowly rose and trotted over to the distressed alicorn and wrapped her in her graceful wings. Luna stopped her rapid trains of thought and focused on the warm comfort her sister had always provided for her in times of need, she couldn't imagine what her life would be like without her big sister looking out for her.

Just then, a scribe came rushing through the massive twin doors and attempted to stop her forward charge and bow to royalty at the same time. These were two actions that nature didn't allow to take place simultaneously and the clumsy archiver barreled head-over-hooves and rolled right by the two embracing Goddesses. Celestia and Luna both shuffled away from each other as the scribe shakily got on her hooves and stood at attention.

"Y-Y-Y-Your majesties! I-I-I have an urgent m-m-message for you!" She tried to get the words out as best she could, but being in the presence of such royalty tended to have a tongue-tying effect on ponies who weren't used to it. Luna maintained her stern look while Celestia smiled and used some unknown charm she had about her to calm the trembling scholar.

"No need to be so worried. Now, you said something about a message?"

"Er…YES! Oh, uh, yes…we received a piece of parchment via teleportation about twenty minutes ago, but it wasn't sent by dragon fire!" She produced an envelope from her saddlebag and levitated it over the Sun Princess before she herself took hold of it with her own magic. The envelope was bare save for 'Celetsia & Luna' written on the front, Celestia flipped it over and nearly screamed. She turned to the scholar with and abnormally large smile which only made the very confused unicorn even more nervous, as Celestia teleported her out of the throne room before bouncing up and down like a school filly with new horseshoes. Luna could only look at her sister with disbelief.

"Uh, Tia? Heh, you feeling alright?" Celestia didn't respond, she only levitated the letter over to her sister and continued to jump gleefully around the sacred throne room. Luna thought that maybe the letter was some sort of sabotage that caused it's recipient to go insane. She quickly discarded this theory and joined her sister in bouncing around their thrones once she saw the wax seal; 'Mann Co.'

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Once they had calmed down enough, the two siblings began to actually read the letter (and reassure the guards that they weren't under attack by assassins armed with laughing gas). It read:

Dear Princess Celestia & Princess Luna;

It may surprise you to learn that I have indeed returned to Equestria! I hope this letter finds you well, for as I write this, I am standing in front of what was your palace…but it lies in ruins, and it appears that no one has lived here for some time if the hanging moss and overgrown trees are any indication. It may please you to know that I have since perfected teleportation WITHOUT the use of any external machine. All I need from your majesties is for you to start a teleportation spell so I can lock onto it and warp myself to your location.

I should warn you, the years I have been gone have not been kind. My outward appearance has changed drastically, I doubt you'll be able to recognize me where I to just show up out of the blue.

Forever yours, Silas Mann (HHH)

They both stared at the last part, 'HHH', what could that mean? They decided that they would just have to ask their old friend about it when he came to visit! The two Goddesses had honestly thought that the aged human had died decades ago, so they were besides themselves when they were proven wrong. Celestia was especially glad to hear that Silas had apparently perfected teleportation, something that even naturally magical unicorns had trouble with.

Celestia cleared her throat, "COMMANDER IRONSIDES! WE REQUEST YOUR PRESENCE IN THE THRONE ROOM AT ONCE!" Celestia's Royal Canterlot voice boomed all throughout the city, abruptly grabbing the attention of every pony in Canterlot.

The armor-clad guardspony rounded the corner and galloped down the hall as fast as he could, passing a dazed looking scribe and two unicorn guards trying relieve the ringing in their ears at the mouth of the all-important throne room. He skidded to a halt in front of the two sibling rulers and bowed.

"You, uh, beckoned your Highness?" Commander Ironsides' cyan eyes showed his excitement of being summoned by name for an audience with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Ironsides (unlike his future descendant who would be born a pink earth pony) was a pegasus, and as such, was forced to be the correct colors; white pelt, brilliant cyan eyes with sapphire mane and tail. His original colors were much more eccentric (much like his personality); an electric blue coat that could put even the brightest of Celestia's skies to shame with an equally bright ginger mane and tail. Fortunately for him, his eyes were the right shade so they didn't have to be changed; fortunately, because every other guard who had to change their eyes said that they wouldn't wish that pain on their greatest foe.

Luna was about to explode, she interrupted her older sister. "Yes! We require your expertise for throwing parties, a VERY old friend of ours is going to be here within the hour and I want you to give him the biggest welcoming party to Canterlot!"

Ironsides' eyes lit up as his smile began to steadily spread across face before snapping back like a rubber band as he finished processing what the dark sapphire Princess had said.

"So, if you don't mind my asking," Luna nodded, "does this friend of yours live far away? I mean, he's at least SEEN Canterlot, right?" The two rulers shook their heads, their respective manes not moving with them and just continued to flow in their own invisible winds. Much like how his great great great great great great great great great great granddaughter would react to Celestia's future student's arrival in Ponyville, Commander Ironsides rose off the ground without the use of his wings and gasped like he had been holding his breath for the past five minutes. "OH MY GOSH! That's incredible! How could he have never seen Canterlot!?"

Before either Luna or Celestia could explain, the previously blue party pony bolted from the room, muttering something about 'insta-cake batter' and 'magically enhanced balloons'.

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Exactly one hour after the order had been given, the grand balcony where the Royal Pony Sisters rose the sun and moon day in and day out, was nearly unrecognizable. Party streamers hung from every possible perch and cascaded across the entirety of the marble outcropping, balloons filtered the few sun rays that broke through the cloud cover into every color in the known spectrum. A massive cake that read 'WELCOME!' in creamy icing sat in the corner near the stained glass doors, with a small wooden table next to it with a glass bowl that sloshed with a new type of drink: punch.

Luna, who was now wearing her full ceremonial attire which consisted of her inky black tiara and matching neckless that sported the same waxing crescent moon as her Cutie Mark, was amazed at the wondrous decorations the pegasus had managed to come up with, and demanded that he show her all that he had to offer, "…and those colored orbs are called…"

"Balloons! I made them myself with the help of the research and development team! Do you like them?" said Ironsides, using every ounce of his restraint to stop from bouncing off the walls while in the presence of Royalty.

"I absolutely adore them! I must have some of these 'baboons' at the next Gala!" said Luna as she noticed the strange purple liquid that seemed to beckon her from across the balcony. "What is this? Did you also make this…wine?"

The commander shook his head, "Nope, it's a lot like wine, but made from fruits like strawberries, lemons, and oranges. With a little sugar added in, it balances the tangy-ness of the fruit and it's perfectly save for ponies of all ages! I call it; punch. 'Cause that's what it packs!" The pegasus poured a cup for Luna and waited with baited breath as she took a gulp. At first she was motionless, then the sugary drink hit her stomach and her light blue eyes grew twice their normal size.

"HUZZAH! Yonder beverage doth create an unparalleled sensation we hath seldom happened upon in all our years dwelling upon ye Earth!" Luna's voice ratcheted up multiple octaves as she slipped back into her old style of speaking. While she and her sister had perfected speaking 'properly' according to Mr. Mann, Luna would sometimes fall back into old habits when she was excited or nervous. And as it stood, she was extremely excited to see her old friend AND drinking something she would crave for the next thousand years.

"Now now, Luna. What would Silas think if he heard you not using the vocabulary he tried so hard to teach us?" said Celestia as she emerged from the bedroom that connected to the balcony with Star Swirl the Bearded.

Luna blushed, "Sorry Tia…"

At long last, the three most powerful spell casters in Equestria (Luna, Celestia, and Star Swirl) all focused their collective horns in one massive teleportation spell. They spread the range out as far as they could, searching for the fabled inventor that Star Swirl was anxious to meet in person. He had heard that this 'human' had invented some pivotal devices of the age and he had many a question for this great individual. They sat in silence as everypony who wasn't involved in the spell remained absolutely still, which wasn't too hard since the only other ponies allowed up to the welcoming party were well-trained guards.

Celestia perked up, "I found him! He's right-", a massive bubble of energy began to form in the center of the circle the three magicians had made and began to grow larger and larger as purple lightning bolts thrashed violently from around it's base, "-here…oh no."

Everypony stood back as a flash temporally blinded anypony who wasn't fast enough to shield their large eyes. A cloying portal sat spiraling down into an unknown void, spewing random bursts of energy. Celestia, who had protected Luna and Star Swirl with her large wings from the flash, couldn't believe her magenta eyes. Where was Silas? What was this thing leading to? The answers came in the form of a large leathery glove clawing at the rim of the portal and cracked the marble tile under it's overwhelming strength. What came next wasn't much better. A massive battle axe with a ghastly face carved into it's side plunged into the balcony alongside the alien hand as they both lifted up a headless, humanoid body. The leathery exterior of the otherwise skeletal body seemed to absorb all light that would otherwise illuminate/shade the fabric. The worn and battered cape followed suit, not allowing any external light to reflect off it's surface. A simple belt with a demonic face buckle showed where the shirt and ripped pants were to be separated, the pants themselves only covered the monster's upper thighs and showcased the milky bones which extended to a pair of equally grotesque black leather boots. As the creature finished arising from the depths of the purple void, it turned around and grabbed a pumpkin, which it promptly placed on it's shoulders over the opening where the head was supposed to rest. As the beast adjusted the seasonal gourd, it turned so the horrid face carved in it's orange flesh faced the mortified party-goers. Once the abomination had assembled itself, a dull purple aura encompassed every fiber of the being as the candle within the seasonal squash ignited and illuminated the interior with an unnaturally bright yellow flame.

"AH, AT LONG LAST; HOW ARE YOU MY OLD-" where she not so shocked by the massive creature and it's cackling voice that rang from inside the hallow head, Celestia would have been proud at how quickly her guards reacted in the face of such an overwhelming force. "-FRIENDS?"

The voice was familiar, and yet strangely alien; like a well-known song being played in a different key or by a completely different instrument.

Celestia, who had kept Luna and Star Swirl under her wings the same way a mother protects her children, realized that the daunting creature had made no attempts to harm any of the guards that had surrounded it and were barking orders to stand down. The giant stooped down and placed the gnarled clever on it's back as it bowed low before the co-rulers. It extended it's hand, tightly balled in a fist roughly the size of a pony's head and neck, and looked up at the frightened alicorn. Luna peered out from between her sister's feathers, the creature was indeed that of nightmares, but Luna sensed no malcontent from the beastly intruder and was now very curious as to what it was holding.

The leather-clad digits unfolded to reveal it's contents, like a clam opening to show it's pearl. What was inside made Luna gasp and well up with tears: a small, dusty, wind-up mouse toy. Luna pushed her way past Celestia's wing and stood by the outstretched hand, she levitated the small mechanical rodent to one of the guards. It looked up at her with it's unmoving features as it brought it's hand back to it's side. She then (to Celestia and the guards' dismay) walked right up to the massive warrior and stood face-to-face with it.

Up close, Luna could see just how bizarre the makeshift head truly was; the inside was indeed a mere husk save for a candle that burned abnormally bright and was embedded into the base of the pumpkin, the left side of the head had a strange growth that had actual veins which etched towards the eye socket.

A tear stained her dark coat, "…Silas?" There was a moment's pause before the skeleton responded.

"MY, LOOK AT HOW YOU'VE GROWN, PRINCESS LUNA…" his voice, despite it's haunting quality, was exactly the same as the one that belonged to the first human to set foot in Equstria. Luna jumped on him and did her best to embrace him in a hug which he made easier by returning the gesture. The moment would have been sweeter had the guards not had a collective panic attack at the sight of their ruler hugging a skeletal abomination. Luna waved them off before allowing Silas to rise. He towered head and shoulders over her which was a strange experience since she and her sister usually won out in contests of height.

"Wh-What happened to you?" she stammered, bracing herself for whatever answer may come.

"I DIED."

Everypony gasped, except for Ironsides, who had been wrapped up in playing with the small mouse Luna had given him to hold and had missed the vast majority of the conversation at hoof. Noticing that everypony was suddenly quite, he leaned over to an awe-stuck Star Swirl (who had also emerged from Celestia's feather cage).

"Psst, Star Swirl, what's everypony look so shocked about?"

The bearded wizard didn't remove his gaze from the impossible being that now dominated the entire scene, "He's dead…but that's impossible. No, his bones are showing and he's missing his HEAD for goodness sake…" said Star Swirl, more to himself than the misinformed commander.

"That's terrible…OH MY GOSH THE CAKE!" Ironsides bolted over the large culinary masterpiece and began to vigorously rearrange the cake with a flurry of rapid wing movements. Pleased with the alterations, he pushed the cart it rested on over to Silas and spun it around so it faced him. The original 'WELCOME!' had been x-ed out and replaced with 'SO SORRY YOU DIED!'

Princess Luna now wore a shocked expression akin to the ones everypony else had when she hugged the phantasmal giant, she had hoped that Ironsides wouldn't pull something like this at such a delicate time, but he did. She turned and looked up at the statuesque face, she prayed that the frozen smile genuinely reflected his emotions.

There was a long pause, Luna and Ironsides both starting to inch away from the Horseless Headless Horseman as he continued to stare blankly at the highly decorated pastry. Finally, his eerie voice rang out once more.

"'SO SORRY YOU DIED'…?" He withdrew the horrific Headtaker from behind his back and ran his index and middle fingers across it's chipped blade. The axe glowed brighter with the purple aura and made low growling noise as he did so, seemingly reacting to it's master's touch and awoke from some sort of slumber.

"HEADSSS!" it hissed as the late Mr. Mann rose it high over his faux noggin for a hammer-shot.

"No!" shouted Luna and Celestia as one. Commander Ironsides covered his eyes with his ivory wings and prepared to pass on…

*SHUNK* *SHILK* *SPLOT*

Luna couldn't look, she didn't want to see one of her favorite Royal Guards turned into a macabre stain on her favorite balcony.

"Mmm, delicious! My complements to the chef, oh wait, that's me!" said Ironsides, sounding rather lively for somepony who just took a battle axe to the face. Luna opened her eyes and her jaw to almost impossible lengths. Silas had indeed brought his mighty weapon down, but into the freshly made welcoming/belated funeral cake, he was even starting to cut pieces for everypony who had lined up for the spellbinding pastry.

The Lunar Deity shot him a confused look, "Y-You're not mad?"

"ARE YOU JOKING? 'SO SORRY YOU DIED'? THAT'S ONE OF THE MOST ENTERTAINING THINGS I'VE HEARD IN A LONG TIME!" He let loose a terrifying laugh that chilled Luna to her bones, although it was indeed Silas, his new form was something she was going to have to work at getting used to. He handed her a plate of cake, which she took in her own hooves instead of her magic (although she did relay on it to properly wield her fork) and took a bite of the rich strawberry cake.

Now, Luna had been exposed to nearly every substance on Earth while her parents were creating it, but never before had this much sugar been in her system all at the same time. The Moon Princess herself was usually calm and collected unless the situation allowed her to act otherwise, but she tended to be much more hyper than Celestia. As the lone bite of cake mixed with the six or seven cups of punch Luna had indulged in while waiting for Silas, a surge of energy began to spread throughout her body from her hooves to the tips of her regal wings.

"PRINCESS LUNA? ARE YOU-" Silas wasn't able to finish his sentence before Luna said something so rapidly he wasn't even sure she knew what she said. She suddenly rocketed upwards at super-sonic speeds, leaving a trail of stardust as her mane and tail struggled to maintain their flow and stay attached to her body as she began to fly laps around the mountain.

As the party began to pick up, Celestia took this chance to talk with her old friend (and before Star Swirl could bombard him with questions). To her surprise, the Horseless Headless Horseman spoke the first query, "PRINCESS, HOW LONG WAS I AWAY FROM EQUESTRIA?"

At first Celestia thought he was just reminiscing about the 'good old days' when she caught him starring at her with his hallow eyes and waiting patiently for an answer.

"Well, I suppose it was a long time to keep track of. Honestly, Luna and I had thought you had perished sometime ago…" she said, looking up at Silas with an apologetic smile.

"DON'T WORRY YOURSELF ABOUT IT, BEING DEAD ISN'T AS BAD AS THEY SAY, IT'S MORE ABRUPT THAN ANYTHING…WELL, DEATH WAS, LIVING IN DEATH IS JUST NUMBING…" he sighed, his dropped shoulders betraying his permanent smile. "PRINCESS, WHEN YOU SAID 'A LONG TIME', HOW LONG WAS I GONE EXACTLY?" his voice was now very impatient as he leaned closer to the nervous Sun Deity.

Celestia was about to answer when Silas held up a hand that gave her pause; he removed his orange cranium, the eternal wick dying down as he did so. Celestia's question as to why he manually tore his head off was answered in the form of her sister-turned-rocket roaring over the Horseman's shoulders, shouting an apology as she arced at a nearly impossible angle for another lap around Canterlot:

"OhmysorrySilasIdidn'tseeyoutherehaveyoutriedthepunchit'samazing!"

Celestia gave an annoyed cough before giving her answer to the infernal lumberjack as he screwed his head on straight, "Sorry about her, she tends to get…excited when she has too many sweets. To answer your question, the last time you were in Equestria was over two hundred years ago."

The answer shook him to his dark core. He fell hard against his chair as it creaked violently trying to support the glowing zombie. "TWO HUNDRED YEARS!? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE…I…I…WAS ONLY AWAY FROM THIS MAGICAL PLACE FOR NARY TWO DECADES! ACTUALLY, WAIT; WHEN I RETURNED HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER ACCIDENTALLY ARRIVING HERE AND MEETING YOU TW- HEH, I NEVER PROPERLY APOLOGIZED FOR PLACING HANDS ON THE ROYAL FLANK…"

Celestia blushed and hastily waved him off, "It's fine, really! No harm done. Just, DON'T mention it." She gestured to a couple of guards that had overheard the conversation and were starting to scheme on how they might remove his head permanently.

He nodded, "RIGHT…AS I WAS SAYING, WHEN I RETURNED TO AMERICA, I HAD ONLY BEEN GONE FOR A FEW DAYS. THEY HADN'T EVEN STARTED SENDING OUT MISSING PERSON ADDS YET. THEY THOUGHT I HAD DIED IN THE EXPLOSION AS WELL." He squeezed the nonexistent bridge of his nose, why did everyone assume that he expires every time he leaves a room in an unconventional manner?

Now it was Celestia's turn to wear a shocked expression. "A few DAYS? But you stayed with us for months! How can this be?"

"I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT THAT-"

=====TIME WARP=====

"Oh oh OH! What was the reason!?" said Pinkie, snapping Celestia out of her trance she had slipped into while telling her story. As Celestia's magenta eyes refocused on the overly hyped-up pink party pony staring eagerly up at her, she felt her damp fur amplifying the slight breeze in the elegant room enough to cause shivers all down her back. She had been more involved in recounting her tale than she thought; the pillow she was resting her delicate body upon was clenched tightly in her forelegs and she was drenched in sweat. If that wasn't enough, Twilight's face bore a concerned look for her teacher.

"Princess? Are you alright?" said the lavender unicorn as she brushed her mane out of her eyes. Twilight hadn't seen her mentor this frazzled since Discord had first stolen the Elements of Harmony from the Royal Vault. Twilight really didn't know how to react; she had read a few books on the subject of consulting distressed ponies (although past experience had taught her that books don't always hold the answers she sought) but she had always gone to Celestia for comfort. Fortunately, Twilight had the master of ceremonies with her who (more or less) knew how to cheer up the centuries-old Sun Goddess.

"Aw, it's okay Princess! Turn that frown upside-down, that big meanie-beanie isn't here! He was just in your really cool story, oh, which reminds me; WHAT HAPPENS NEXT???" Pinkie's snout bumped the alicorn's as her eyes bugged unnaturally far out of her head with anticipation. Twilight meeped as she tried to make herself as small as she could, unsure as to how Celestia would react. The Princess' eyes shrank slightly before returning to normal. She picked up Pinkie with her yellow aura and placed her gently on her own feather filled seat.

"Honestly, Ms. Pie; I don't recall much from that point onward", Pinkie's jaw fell open as she fell back on her seat and groaned with annoyance at not being able to hear the conclusion of the fable, "but, Luna did have a conversation with the HHH before-" She was cut off by the large double doors being thrown open as Quick-Fix and Over-Dose came galloping in and bowed in unison.

"Mein Prinzessin! Come quick, Luna haz awakened! She vishes to speak wiz you!" cried Quick-Fix, already turning to soar back to the Moon Goddess' side. Over-Dose could only nod in agreement of his colleague as his horn warmed up for a teleportation spell.

"Jah!" said the blue unicorn as he vanished with a flash.

The three mares left in the room all looked at each other for a split second before Twilight and Princess Celestia followed suit, teleporting themselves to Luna's room.

==========================================================

As they opened their eyes, they saw that Pinkie had somehow beaten them, and Quick-Fix, across the extensive palace and was already at Luna's bedside.

Luna's room reflected her cherished night sky and was almost as dark. The Lunar Princess was lying in an oversized bed covered with the finest black silk sheets in all of Equestria on one of the softest mattresses made with preened feathers off of the twin deities that they had shed over the millennia. Her feather bed was was completely surrounded by twelve hoof high curtains that had been magically enhanced to shield whosoever dwells within it's confines from any assault the sun might bring forth through the stained glass window (save crashing through it and destroying the planet). Her room was more of the same; all shades of black and dark sapphire, with contrasting bright white stars dotted around the chamber with a massive mural of the moon, exactly like it's master's Cutie Mark. She had a desk near the bed, crowded with numerous scrolls and books piled all around, on top of, and in the ebony drawers. There was a small space in the center for the spotless mirror and a brush and glasses, hay, Princesses need to look their best at all times, even when studying (which was something Celestia had taught to Twilight within her first week of being her student).

The teacher-student pair trotted across the black opal floor and joined Pinkie at the hoof of Luna's bed, she was propped up against an array of throw pillows with a white earth stallion holding a hoof to her horn while watching the clock on Luna's bed stand.

"Ah, Solemn, I was beginning to wonder where you had run off to," said Celestia as the third member of the Clinical Trial Team (along with Over-Dose and Quick-Fix) turned and bowed before her. He had a short black mane that was neatly cut high on the back of his neck, he wore a medical coat like the other two medics that also ran right down to his crossed syringe Cutie Mark, but sported a collared shirt underneath with pocket squares on his left side.

He stood again, readjusted his glasses and immediately returned to checking Luna for any other ailments, "Forgive me, Princess, but I must keep mein concentration on Princess Luna," said Solemn, his accent obviously from the same region as the other doctors but much softer and less abrasive. Celestia nodded, she preferred that her doctors held their sacred duty over social parodical, even when addressing her. The three medics continued their busy work while Pinkie got as close to Luna as she could to ask her a VERY important question;

"Princess! Please, you HAVE to tell me the rest of the story!"

Luna, who hadn't been apart of 'the story' raised and eyebrow at her glowing sister while the Clinical Trial Team shot dirty looks at the whimpering earth mare now clinging desperately to Luna's covers.

"The Silas Mann story," said Celestia bluntly.

"Ah, at what point did you get to?" asked Luna as she further propped herself up.

"The party when he first arrived, but I think we should hurry things along and skip the unfortunate business with the Diamond Dogs…" Celestia's throat went dry, those poor dogs had no idea what they were up against. Twilight tapped a hoof to her chin as she tried to remember her Equestrian history, the Diamond Dogs had tried to ransack Canterlot at one point but were repelled by Ironsides and his battalion. But that made no sense to Twilight. Sure enough, she was no military strategist, but how did the Royal Guards (who had been unsuccessful at stopping the zealous miners on the outskirts of Equestria, let alone the capital city) suddenly halt the raiders AND have them surrender within the same hour?

"Uh, Princess?" started Twilight as the two alicorns who shared that title turned to face her, "I'm actually sort of curious of how you shut down the Diamond Dog rampage, if you don't mind my asking…"

Celestia and Luna glanced at one another, worry clearly visible in their large eyes. Luna sighed and nodded, she gestured for the medical trio to see themselves out, which they did after a quick round of bows.

"Ms. Pie, would you kindly fetch the small red scroll out of my closet?" said Luna, her voice was still shaky from her ordeal the night before.

Pinkie shook her head up and down as her cotton candy mane bobbed with her. She hopped, skipped, and jumped over to Luna's closet. She slid back sliding screen and began to rummage about through multiple dresses and various other articles of clothing before noticing something red towards the back. Thinking it to be the scroll she was hunting for, she grabbed one end of it and gave it a tug. To her surprise, it hardly budged, buried far beneath piles of other books and scrolls that Luna had been meaning to read but hadn't gotten around to.

Narrowing her eyes, she once again took hold of the perpetrator with her herbivore teeth and pulled back as hard as her hyper-active body would allow. She rolled backwards and crashed into Twilight as they both landed in a heap. Twilight's violet eyes spun in her head, she pushed the semi-conscience party-goer off of her and gasped at what Pinkie had unearthed within Luna's closet; a stack of rather fancy hats…that were on FIRE.

Luna tried to say something, but her sore throat made her hesitate and Twilight had already sprung into action, stamping the fire out as quickly as she could. With the smoldering embers starting to flicker in and out, she turned to Luna.

"Forgive me, Princess! I didn't mean to destroy your hats! I just…I didn't want them to- *FOOM* GAAAAH!" Twilight didn't get a chance to finish her apology as the once thought defeated flames returned en mass, causing her to launch high into the air and landed behind Celestia, who couldn't help but smile.

Pinkie trotted over to the mystical tower of hats and blew out the flames like a candle, only to have them reignite once again. She repeated this action numerous times, and each and every time the undead fire would spring back to life almost as soon as she did so.

As Twilight watched what would become an eternal war if left alone long enough, she dislodged the small crimson parchment from her tail that had fallen out of the towering hat inferno and levitated it to Luna's waiting hooves.

"Thank you, Twilight. Ms. Pie, you can stop that now, those flames are eternal and very stubborn about remaining lit," said Luna as she unbound the black lace keeping the scroll in a cylindrical shape.

Pinkie stopped mid-inhale and released it as a small belch. "Oops, 'scuse me. So how come the fire isn't all hot and burny?" said the now very curious earth pony.

"It's a particle effect, it's really more for show than anything. Think of it like…like…" Celestia searched for something the little ponies could compare the strange fiery headpiece with, "Ah! Like how the Wonderbolts have a trail of lightning and storm clouds that billow behind them."

Both Twilight and Pinkie thought about what she had said; it was true that the lightning they discharged never seemed to harm anypony and did make their air shows even more spectacular.

"…that was a hat that Silas gave me before- well, I suppose I should answer your question, Twilight." Luna unfolded the blood-red scroll and began to run her eyes across it's surface. "The Diamond Dogs indeed had the upper appendage when it came to combat; being larger than most full-grown stallions and being able to escape and move around underground freely made them hard to catch…but not for a monster like the Horseless Headless Horseman. When the raiders entered the city, he made first contact, somehow ripping them from the earth like stubborn vegetables. He promised he wouldn't hurt any of them…he…" tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, "he broke that promise two hundred and sixty eight times!" Luna could no longer hold back her tears, the scroll rolled off of her elegant sheets and onto the floor, and it was all Celestia could do to climb up next to her and wrap her in her heavily wings.

It was some time before Luna cooled down enough to speak again, this time being cradled by the two massive wings eased her speech. "Anyway, he came to me the next day, and asked me what was wrong. I told him I never wanted to see him again after what he did, and I was also mad because the special harvest moon I had been planning was overlooked by the battle. He sympathized with me, apparently, his older brother overshadowed him too and took all of the credit for their store, Mann Co." Celestia held her sister tighter, already knowing the next part of this tragedy, or at least it's outcome. "He offered me power, power that would get my nights noticed. He said all I had to do in return was help him overthrow Tia…I-I was so tired and angry of nopony enjoying my nights other than my astronomers that I appointed, I just couldn't refuse. That's…that's how I became Nightmare Moon."

Twilight and Pinkie (to a greater extent) gasped as this new wealth of knowledge was thrust upon them, neither pony could have thought in their wildest dreams that a HUMAN was the cause of Princess Luna's downfall. Luna acknowledged their shocked faces with a sigh, but as she looked up, her eyes shown with such intensity that even Celestia was taken aback.

"B-But how did he give you this power? Are humans really that powerful?" stammered Twilight.

"No," said the Princess from the safety of her sister's feathery embrace, "humans are not born magic nor do all but a hoof full have the ability to practice it. He bestowed that curse upon my person with that infernal axe he carries with him everywhere he goes; the Headtaker." Luna looked like she was about ready to spit she was so furious at the mere mention of the offending implement, "It talks too, that's also what gives Silas his unholy abilities, I imagine that if we separate them, we might have a chance at sending him back from whence he came!"

Pinkie bounded onto the bed and bounced higher than she thought she would, landing ungracefully on her snout. Everypony else gave a quick chuckle as Pinkie shook her head and righted herself. "Is that how you sent that big jerk back to his house last time, you took away the Bread-breaker?"

"Headtaker," corrected Twilight.

"Yeah, that too. So, didja?" said Pinkie who was becoming increasingly aware of how comfy the bed she had crashed on was and began to sink into the fluffy mattress.

Luna and Celestia looked at each other, "No, we didn't have to," said Celestia, allowing her tired sibling to rest in her wondrously soothing feather down, "when Luna confronted me, she explained that the Horseman had grown too power-hungry and would soon try to overthrow Luna once he got the chance. When he finally arrived in the throne room after terrorizing the guards, we double-teamed him with the Elements of Harmony and banished him back to Mann Manor, together. Sadly, I was also forced to banish Nightmare Moon to the moon not one hour later…but's that all over now." She nuzzled her little sister and they both shared a smile they sorely needed.

Luna's smile soon faded back to her all too-familiar frown of concern, "That still doesn't explain how he made it back to Equestria; something to do with that energy disturbance must be the key…"

Pinkie nodded, " Yeah, and Pyro didn't seem to happy about getting thrown into Everfree like that either," she said as she wondered what sort of flambé would most likely cheer up the firebug.

"Wait, what? WHO!?"

Chapter 6: Payload

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

Pyro had never felt so spent, and he had fought a eighteen-hour long control point match for Gorge…but this was on a whole new level of difficulty. He could feel the sweat pouring down his asbestos suit-clad skin, his muscles ached and screamed for him to stop, but he pushed through it. He tightened his grip on the Back Scratcher and prepared to reengage his unyielding foe: the fearsome deep-rooted dandelion. He was normally adapt at dispatching the little pests (since he was the only one at RED who knew how to maintain a garden), but this one had repelled his Back Scratcher like it was nothing.

He had been attempting to dislodge the foreign flowery violator for the past fifteen minutes to no avail, the pollinating perpetrator would not give up it's ill-gotten spot in Lyra's flowerbed. This calls for desperate measures; hand-to-stem combat. He discarded his blood-splattered rake and slammed his knees into the soil, gripping the faux flower's neck tightly, he summoned all of his might and attempted to stand while taking the weed with him.

He managed to get to the "stand up" portion of his two-part endgame when he hit a snag, namely, the weed wasn't as keen on reaching new heights as the flame conjuror was. Pyro continued his tug-of-war for but a moment when the devilish eyesore slipped from betwixt his dark gloves, much like how some of the craftier Spies had done so in the past.

He rolled backwards into the freshly painted picket fence and cracked the wooden barricade (along with his skull) with the tremendous impact as the yellow demon looked on mockingly at the defeated human. Pyro had had just about enough of this fiend, and were it not for the innocent roses and tulips that encompassed the small offender, and the fact that Lyra would kill him, he would have just incinerated the dandelion with one of his flamethrowers…but maybe there was a way he still could.

Pyro checked to see if anypony was looking (which he probably should have been doing in the first place) before turning to face his worthy adversary and readjusting his fashionable Madame Dixie hat.

"Mmmhmhmhmhmhm…" he chuckled to himself.

He cracked his fingers and placed one of his gloved hands directly above the leafy abomination, he concentrated on the palm of his hand; fire…ashes…lava…sun…sparks…embers…smoke…heat…BURN! Flames began to dance wildly between his fingers before converging right in the center.

He spread his yellow-tipped digits as a jet of fire and smoke shot forth onto the weed. Fiery chunks of dirt and topsoil went flying in every direction as the flame-based drill bore into the well-maintained flower bed. After a few seconds of pyrotechnics and maniacal laughter, Pyro reigned in the palm pilot light and took a step back to admire his work. The area where the little rage-inducing flower had been was no more and was replaced with nothing more than smoldering embers, smoke rising lazy from the point of impact…

…and one barely charred dandelion.

Pyro; soldier of fortune, terror of Teufort, and master of cross-dressing, fell to his knees and held his arms to the sky. What cruel deity would MAKE something like that!?

==========================================================

"Hmm?" said Celestia, her voice echoing in the previously silent room after Pinkie's startling revelation.

"What is it, sister?" said Luna as she continued to eye the pink party pony sitting at the end of her bed and trying to figure out what else she might not be telling them.

"I thought I heard my name called…never mind; Ms. Pie, would you kindly explain how you learned about the arrival of this…'Pyro'?"

"Sure!" she said behind a warm smile, "I was out helping Fluttershy round up some super-yummy berries for Angel when we saw this big bright ball up in the clouds! It was all; KA-BOOM! SHOOM! CHOOM! BLAMO!" Pinkie stood on her hind legs and reenacted every possible sound effect she could think of to describe the phantasmal orb. "So I turn to Fluttershy and ask her what she thought that was, but she took off and boarded up her house for some reason…*giggle* silly-filly! That doesn't stop lightning, lightning doesn't knock on pony's doors…*GASP* or maybe it DOES and the super powerful lightning bolts is just it's way of trying to say hi! I should bake a welcome cake next time there's a-"

"PINKIE!" barked Twilight.

"Oops, sorry. So the big ball shot out this thingy and it went crashing into the forest. Since Fluttershy probably couldn't get out of her house, I went to go make sure all of the cute little animals were okay. When I got there, there was this HUGE crater with fire everywhere! I really wish I had brought marshmallows with me, and some chocolate, and crackers too…Oh! Hotdogs would have been great too! Then I wouldn't have had to go home for-

"PINKIE!!!" shouted Twilight, this time being aided by Luna AND Celestia.

"Pinkie, PLEASE. You need to focus, what did you see!?" said Twilight as her stomach reminded her that all she had had to eat that day was the tea she didn't even finish. "…and please, no more talking about picnic food."

"Okay; the crater was WAY too hot for me to get very close, but I saw this…this…human I guess, laying in the fire! I couldn't just sit there and let him get all burnt and toasted, so I dragged him into a bush to let him cool off while I bounced home to get the welcome wagon!" this was made all the more vivd by Pinkie bouncing laps around the room for effect. "But when I got back, he was gone! The only thing left were a few burnt Timber Wolves that Fluttershy was taking care of. That was just rude, leaving while somepony was trying to give them a proper welcome, humph!" She sat down on her flank, forelegs crossed angrily across her chest, she couldn't believe that somepony had just blown off one of her greetings. Even Cranky Doodle Donkey had buckled under her persistence and given into letting her use her welcome wagon (an action he soon regretted).

Celestia and Luna both sighed…and Twilight was about to snap, "That still doesn't explain how you figured out his name!" she squeaked as her voice got more shrill and her eyes began to go into a nervous twitch.

"Uh, it was stitched on his backpack. Duh."

Celestia saw that this conversation wasn't going to end well for her pupil if she continued questions in her current state, "Alright Ms. Pie, thank you. Although I would like to know more, this information only confirms my decision I made earlier today." she said retracting her wings from around Luna and stepping off the large bed.

Twilight managed to stop starring slack-jawed at Pinkie and turned to face the Princess, "What decision, Princess?"

"I've decided to hold this year's Nightmare Night celebration here in Canterlot." she said with small smile as Twilight's big purple eyes began to sparkle.

"YES!…Princess, I am SO sorry, I didn't mean to scream that loudly…" said Twilight as her lavender coat began to turn a more pinkish shade. The already bright-pink Pinkie couldn't control her giggling at the sight of her usually reserved friend jumping well over the alicorn's head while shouting at the top of her lungs. Even Celestia was impressed at the feat.

Pinkie continued to giggle through the look Twilight was giving her until she remembered something critical, "What's so special about having Nightmare Night in Canterlot? Doesn't all of Equestria celebrate it?" said Pinkie as Luna slowly sank into her silky sheets. All of Equestria? That means she would have pull a Santa Colt and travel everywhere there was a Nightmare Night Celebration and explain that she in no way, shape, or form wanted to eat the children who didn't give her an offering of candy. That is, until her sister revealed her master plan.

"The reason why it's so important is because this year, I sent invitations to everypony in Equestria to attend. The mailmares should be delivering the cards as we speak." she said in a soothing voice. As she watched Pinkie Pie and Twilight jump hoof-in-hoof around the room, she mauled over her real intension for the nocturnal festival: With the HHH still roaming the countryside with no real way to track him without risking whomever she sent, she figured that with such a concentration of ponies at the capital city and him being as predicable as ever, he wouldn't pass up such a opportunity to overthrow the two rulers in front of what would become his new subjects.

At least that's what she hoped for. She also hoped that Luna would have time to show everypony that she had changed and they wouldn't secretly (or in some cases openly) fear her.

"Twilight Sparkle," said Celestia sternly, "you, Ms. Pie, and I are going to Ponyville to announce the festival…and to capture this Pyro."

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Lyra couldn't believe her yellow eyes. This photograph, although yellowed around the trim, wrinkled from being handled so many times and slightly burnt, was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever beheld: A family picture of humans. She analyzed every detail from the clothes, the colors, the sky above their smiling faces, their haircuts, the house behind them, and even the way the little boy was digging for gold in his nose.

She couldn't help but smile, Lyra had thought about having foals from time to time, but she had never found the right stallion (it would be a little awkward going after one of the guys in town since everypony knew everypony and word would get around faster than the Wonderbolts if somepony had lit their tails on fire). The little boy (or at least that's what her research about humans concluded he was) was getting his hair ruffled by what appeared to be his father, although he was mostly covered by a scorch mark that enveloped everything from his chest up…except for his smile that he and his wife shared. Cross species aside, Lyra thought her very attractive for a human; ginger hair just like Carrot Top's, a very sleek body covered by a breezy sun dress with polka dots and she was holding a small blanket in her arms that one could only assume was a very young human.

Lyra's gaze drifted to the tip of the amazing picture when she noticed the other letter Derpy had dropped off before Pyro had been sentenced to garden duty. She carefully placed the photo back inside the safety of the Postal Pummeler and withdrew her mystery letter before sealing the mailbox with her magic.

She nearly lost control of her magic when she saw who it was from, the Royal Seal had that effect on ponies other than those who worked in the palace, or Twilight. She carefully lifted the letter out of the envelop and began to read-

*knock* *knock* knock*

"Bon Bon!" exclaimed Lyra, she had been so absorbed in the photo that she had completely lost track of time. "Great, I didn't even get a shower. *Sigh* Well, I don't NEED one…" she said to herself as she trotted downstairs and left the opened letter laying on Pryo's bed.

Before she opened the wooden door into her home, she glanced out of the screen door that lead to her garden out back. 'Good, Pyro's already moved onto the back flower box. That should keep him out of sight.' thought the sly unicorn as she opened the door for her best friend in all of Ponyville. "Hey, Bon Bon. How's-"

"HI MS. HEARTSTRINGS!!!" came three shrill voices that startled the unsuspecting harpist. Before she realized what was happening, three fillies wrapped up in hoofmade maroon capes came flying through the door and zipped around the living room followed shortly by their disheveled caretaker for the day.

"Bon Bon…wow. You look like you just went a few rounds with an Ursa Major. What's with the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"

Bon Bon lifted her messy head and looked at Lyra with bags clearly visible under her cyan eyes, "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, Lyra; Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Applejack were all in a huff about something to do with Twilight and were trying to figure out what to do with their little sisters…and Scootaloo." The two mares trotted over onto Lyra's couch where Lyra proceeded to sit upright while Bon Bon sat the "correct" way, "Rarity spotted me and asked if I would look after them in return for discounts at the Carousel Boutique…and I do need something to wear for the big Nightmare Night celebration."

"Wh-What? What 'big Nightmare Night celebration'?" said Lyra slightly surprised that this was the first she was hearing about this. Well, maybe not that much. She hadn't been able talk with Lotus or Aloe about overheard gossip at the spa for the past week so she was out of the loop.

"Yeah, didn't you get an invitation? I thought I saw Derpy leaving your house earlier today while I was rounding up these three from around the fountain." said Bon Bon, indicating the three terrors buzzing excitedly about what next to do to get their Cutie Marks on the other side of the living room.

"So THAT'S what that letter was about. I was actually just opening it when you knocked." said Lyra a bit sheepishly.

"I didn't knock, those three were so excited about heading over here that they ran head-long into your door." They both got a good laugh out of that since it didn't appear to register with the small fillies whatsoever.

Meanwhile, the fearless CMC were busy on another adventure; operation scour Lyra's house for something fun to do while the adults yakked was in full swing. Mission status: absolutely nothing.

"This is SOOOOO boring!" said a disheartened Scootaloo as she rolled on her back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Ah know. But there has ta' be SOMETHIN' to do here." replied Apple Bloom.

"Hmm…HEY! What's that?" said Sweetie Belle as she excitedly pointed with one of her light grey hooves at Lyra's hall bathroom. The intrigued trio crept their way around an end table and peered in to see something they had never seen before; a gigantic silvery cylinder resting against the counter. They approached it carefully, not sure if it would attack them or not, and began to examine the Degreaser.

"What'd ya suppose it is?" said the yellow farm filly.

"Maybe it's a rocket! It's kinda shaped like one." said the orange and fuchsia pegasus.

"Or, or maybe it's a…a…" Sweetie Belle struggled to find something to compare the device to, "a boat!" Swing and a miss.

"A boat? What kind of boat would look like that?" said Scootaloo raising an eyebrow.

"Well, it could float," said Apple Bloom sensing an argument coming on that she didn't want to have to suffer through for the rest of the day, "help me place it in the tub!"

The three fillies lifted the deceptively heavy flamethrower onto their backs and were about to drop it into the cold bath water that had been resting since earlier that morning when Sweetie Belle, who was at the back and holding up the handle, accidentally bumped the trigger and jammed it, causing flame to pour uncontrollably out of the nozzle up by Scootaloo.

They screamed and dodged the searing flame as they made a b-line for the safety of the hallway, when the force of the output flipped the Degreaser around and covered the doorway with a jet of hot propane that engulfed the doorframe. They stopped and barricaded themselves within the oak cabinets, barely avoiding another pass by the deadly stream as it lashed the twin doors and set them ablaze.

Lyra and Bon Bon were in shock, they had jumped up when they heard the little ponies scream and when they arrived at the bathroom, they had just enough time to watch the CMC dive into the sink's cabinets before the man-made dragon forced them to take cover on either side of the doorway.

"Lyra! Use your magic, HURRY!"

"I can't! It's moving around too much for me to concentrate!" Lyra's mind raced, she could just wait for it to run out of ammo but she didn't know how much propane the Degreaser could hold or how long the girls could survive with that type of heat. She tried to call them and tell them to stay calm but the roar of the fire drowned her out…and the sound of the screen door opening.

Pyro knew he was going to get chewed out for this. Incinerating an entire flower box to eliminate one devious dandelion with his one-handed Hadouken was just plain sloppy, and spending as much time killing unaware Snipers as he did, he knew that sloppiness could be fatal. He ran through every possible excuse he could think of, mostly just replacing certain words on ones he used all the time; like "Spy" with "dandelion", "friendly sentry" with "flower bed", and "furious Engineer" with- Lyra?

He looked over at his temporary hostess and the other pony Pyro had seen in some of her pictures standing on either side of the bathroom with horrible looks on their faces. What the devil where they doing? Was there something…uncouth in there? Oh no did he…no, no he had flushed, so what was it?

Suddenly, another jet of bright orange flames roared past the open doorway and Pyro knew exactly what had happened; the Degreaser (despite it's namesake) had the worst tendency to jam and dump it's entire payload of fiery death in a matter of seconds. Pyro had a hard time remembering exactly how many times he had rushed out of the starting gate with the rest of the assault squad, only to return moments later for accidentally using an entire canister of propane to completely cremate a Scout and having to make a mad-dash back to the lockers. Swift action was required.

Bon Bon, in between dodging the fake dragon's breath and coughing on the smoke of it's aftermath, had not given up on trying to make contact with Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, or Sweetie Belle as they cooked within their wooden tomb they had sealed themselves in. She only stopped in full when she saw Pyro.

Normally, Bon Bon would have screamed and passed out at the sight of something so shocking, but she didn't have the luxury to fully grasp what her eyes were showing her before the flame alchemist dove headlong into the raging inferno that was once Lyra's bathroom.

The heat inside the small room was reaching deadly levels, but Pyro shrugged it off, he liked the "taste of his own medicine" as it were. Which was good, since he got a whole booster shot when the Degreaser turned on it's master and set him ablaze but for a moment as his crimson second skin extinguished him an instant later. He reached through the flames and throttled the homemade barbecue as he wrestled it into submission.

As he got his primary weapon under wraps, he faintly heard small cries of help coming from the blazing cabinets under the sink. He threw the doors open to find three young ponies huddled together in the one spot that hadn't been reduced to ashes and scooped them up in his arms. He barreled back through the fiery doorway, clutching the fillies tightly to his chest and trying to shield them as best he could.

He deposited them into Bon Bon's waiting hooves, she held them tightly and rocked gently as she wiped away stray tears from their eyes as well as hers. The pyromancer turned to brave the inferno once again, this time taking up his trusty battlement and using it's compression blast to blow out the flames.

The once spotless water closet lay in ruins; all of the wooden features had been burned to ash, all the porcelain and tiles had been marred by black scorch marks like horrible wounds, and the mirror had actually melted…Pyro couldn't be prouder of his third flamethrower design with results like that! He placed his hands together and had a moment of silence for the fallen rubber ducky he was unable to save…and tried to buy time to come with ANOTHER excuse.

Bon Bon couldn't believe her eyes. This strange dragon-like creature had just willingly jumped into an oven that would have burnt her or any non-alicorn to a crisp without so much as a glance back and rescued the trio of fillies SHE was supposed to be taking care of…but that didn't help the fact that Pyro was downright menacing up close.

"Uh, Lyra? Hehe, who's THIS?" said Bon Bon nervously, she did her best to maintain a smile but it all when down the drain when she meet Pyro's soulless gaze dead-on.

"Oh, him…" started Lyra as she debated weather or not to tell her the truth, "Well, he's clearly a…he's more of a…you see he's not really-"

"A HUMAN!" screamed the Cutie Mark Crusaders in unison as their big round eyes threatened to completely encompass their heads. Sweetie Belle was the first to break Bon Bon's tight grip and stood shin-height next to Pyro, he knelt down until he was only head and shoulders above her. Sweetie Belle was frozen, she thought that getting a better view of the mysterious figure would be cool until she actually got a better look. She could see her own open-mouthed expression reflected in the tinted goggles of the gas mask and feel the amazing amount of heat that poured from him.

Lyra was now banking on that picture she had found earlier for Pyro's experience with children, because it seemed to her that he was contemplating whether or not to pat her on the head or light her up like a marshmallow.

The suit squeaked slightly as Pyro's arms moved from his sides and wrapped around Sweetie Belle, who naturally screamed before realizing the scaleless dragon was only giving her a rather warm hug, which she quickly returned. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo quickly followed suit until all three girls were examining the strange creature now sitting criss-cross in the middle of the hardwood floor.

Pyro himself was curious too, as he noticed that the small orange pony with the purple mane had what appeared to be wings. Well, Lyra had a horn that she could clearly use magic with as did the small pale filly that had received one of his famous hugs. He needed to learn more about this strange place in order to function within it, and if at all necessary, to better conquer his new environment…but for now, he had three little ponies who desperately needed something to do. He snapped his fingers (an impressive feat with those gloves) as he remembered that he had a beach ball in his backpack and headed upstairs to fetch it while the CMC rushed Lyra and launched a barrage of questions at the overwhelmed unicorn.

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Pyro gracefully ascended to the topmost step with an extra flourish and landed with a perfect ten-point pierre en flambé. He skipped marly into his (hopefully) temporary room and was about to rummage through the dusty brown bag he had unwittingly brought with him when he noticed an open letter out of the corner of his shielded eye. He picked up the scroll and began to read it aloud:

"Mmmhm mmmhm, huddah-huh mmhrm mmhmrm humph hurmm huddah mmh, huddah…MRIRMUR MURPH!?" exclaimed the shocked salamander wannabe as the final sentence rolled by under his gaze, "Nightmare Night"? Could that be this universe's Halloween? Pyro scratched his rubber covered head, this could really be bad. If the ponies were reacting as violently as they did upon seeing him, then…he had to leave before Hallo- Nightmare Night, he couldn't allow the ponies to see the-

He looked at his backpack, an object that he could identify every single scratch and stain on with stunning accuracy, and immediately noticed something out of place. Namely, something amiss about the Postal Pummeler. He reached over and picked up the melee weapon, looking specifically at the small hinged door.

It had been opened.

Pyro popped the stubborn lid and peered into his prized skull-basher and withdrew the treasure within. No gems or gold could be found here, only a worn reminder of a time that he desperately wished everyday he could return to; before FTP, before RED and BLU…before he was forced to become a mercenary.

The screams of ponies playing tag just one floor below shook him out of his daydream, he carefully sealed the portal into the past back within it's unconventional container and proceeded to grab the promised beach ball and headed back downstairs.

Of course, there was no way the Postal Pummeler just HAPPENED to open by itself. Someone, or somepony as the case my be, had opened it. This made Pyro paranoid, and when Pyro got paranoid, things tended to get burned beyond recognition. Lyra had never told him exactly which side she alined herself with, she could have easily gone through his equipment while he was locked in combat with the those vile weeds…COULD SHE BE A SPY? Well, even if she was, he had ways of dealing with those back-stabbing traitors. He chuckled as he patted the small orange handgun tucked safely away behind his oxygen tank.

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"Really? So every pony is just packing up and heading out to Canterlot?" said Lyra as she poured a cup of coffee for Bon Bon. Bon Bon nodded as she took a deep gulp of the dark brew, exhaling as she finished.

"Yeah, from what I heard from my friends who live there, the inn keepers are having an absolute field day with all of the families staying there for the weekend. Lucky for you, Ms. Heartstrings, I already got us rooms near the festivities." said Bon Bon with a smile as she downed more coffee, she was going to need every boost she could get if she was going to have to watch the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Lyra's yellow eyes lit up, "Bon Bon, that's…thanks. How much do I owe you for mine?"

"No no," said Bon Bon holding up a hoof and finishing her drink, "this is a gift. Besides, it'd be boring going all by myself."

"Oh my gosh, I need a costume…any chance you could help me with that too?" she said with a shrug as a red and blue beach ball bounced into the next room, followed closely by Pyro and Scootaloo with Sweetie and Apple Bloom trailing behind.

"Nope, sorry Lyra. I'm still getting my costume together, it has to be flawless since we're going to be in front of so many ponies. You wouldn't believe the caravans that've been heading up that way." She turned her head and glanced over at the miniature trio attempting to best Pyro at a game of Keep Away with the inflatable ball. "So, white manticore in the room, how'd you ever find…that?"

"Oh, Pyro? Uh, well…" Lyra knew that her brilliant "Nightmare Night Decoration" lie wasn't going to go very far, "remember that energy ball that appeared in the sky the other day? Well…"

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"Ah got it! Ah got it!" Apple Bloom jumped as high as she could and whacked the ball with her muzzle over to Scootaloo who spiked it down to Sweetie Belle who gave the orb a tail whip and sent it back the young farm filly, thus repeating the process. Pyro watched the festivities from the corner of the room, occasionally returning the Mann Co. grade beach ball back into play (and patting out the flames the couple of times it spontaneously combusted).

He was content. The small ponies were extremely energetic much unlike the rest of his team other than Scout, but he never wanted to play anything with Pyro that wasn't baseball, and Pyro was always pitcher/crimson retriever when the ball flew well over the fence (which he was positive Scout did on purpose)…so being able to play something other than that or potentially fatal Rocket Tennis was a nice change of pace.

But some things never change, like the sense that something was wrong, the sense that…that blue pony has the intel AND a payload bomb!?

Pyro foolishly rubbed his goggles in disbelief (foolishly because that did nothing to improve his vision), was it even possible? The BLUs had never tried to steal their critically important intel (which Pyro had never even seen the contents of) and blast their base to kingdom come at the same time. Now he knew it couldn't have been Lyra who opened the Postal Pummeler, it must have been this one.

Pyro crouched behind the windowsill as he observed the blue Equestrian pushing the large cart with a flashing blue light on top and a red briefcase dangling off the side. The pony herself was pushing the cart along with relative ease, stopping every now and then to survey her surroundings or wave hello to a passerby. Pyro didn't buy it for a minute, she was planning on killing anywhere from eight to twelve REDs with that menacing device, and those ponies were just walking by like nothing was wrong.

He withdrew the small pistol he had tucked away; the Detonator. While not as quick as the Manmelter, the Detonator had something it didn't, an alt-fire that caused the launched flare to explode and ignite anything within it's blast zone. He lined up his shot, with any luck, he could set the BLU pony on fire, destroy the vital intelligence, and maybe even prematurely set off the payload. The mere thought of all that wondrous flame engulfing everything in it's splendor gave Pyro all the more reason to followthrough with his hasty plan. He followed her as she walked until she stopped to stretch out her back. He squeezed the trigger-

"PYRO!" came Lyra's voice from the doorway. The shout made Pyro jump and launched the flare through the window and off into the distance.

Outside, Colgate (who had been charged with hauling one of the Nightmare Night balloons to the train station along with it's repair kit) looked up while she wiped some sweat from her brow as a dazzling red flare soared high overhead and arced it's way across the bright blue sky.

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"Opalescence! Get down from there, I need to get going to meet Twilight and you're not helping!" shouted Rarity as her spoiled cat snickered at her from her perch just outside the Carousel Boutique. Rarity was getting absolutely furious with this nonsense, not that she would let it show beyond lightly grinding her teeth. She had been trying for the past twenty minutes after dropping off Sweetie Belle with a reluctant Bon Bon to get the prissy feline out of the tree in front of her store.

As the white unicorn continued in vain to get her down, she heard what she swore sounded like a buzzing sound, or a…sizzling sound? She looked up as a red ember came streaking through the sky, barely missing a brightly colored bird and plunged into the tree top. The flare exploded with a deafening bang, raining down leafs and small branches. A terrified Opal came flying out from her hiding place and landed claws-first onto her startled owner.

"Opal! It's okay darling, mommy's got yoooooOOOOOW! Not the claws! Ohhhh…"

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Pyro eased off on the second trigger of his Detonator and looked down at a shocked light green unicorn with her mouth hanging open. Lyra couldn't believe that Pyro had just tried to flash-fry Colgate who was just minding her own business! She gave Pyro a stern, almost motherly look and extended her hoof. Pyro, who was forever cursed to be a horrible judge of people's (and pony's) emotions, cracked his fingers and gave Lyra's raised hoof a quick slap, then began to jump up and down as he clapped for joy.

Lyra sighed, "No Pyro, not a high-hoof, give me the gun." she said with a commanding voice that she hoped covered her fear of what other brash thing Pyro might attempt upon hearing the news. The masked salamander stopped clapping and fell to his knees, his arms hanging loosely at his sides in disbelief.

"Mrrum murm? Mrrrmh!" he grunted and crossed his arms angrily.

"Pyro…" he turned away from her with a 'humph'. She wrapped the object in question in a green aura and levitated it out of his belt. He turned to grab it but only fell on his face as Lyra trotted out of the room with the CMC in tow. She trotted back out into the living room to continue her conversation with Bon Bon, only to find her missing and her front door open. She walked over to close the door when she saw everypony heading to the Town Square, including Bon Bon whom she and the three little ponies following her caught up to.

"Bon Bon, what's going on? Did you really just try to ditch me with the- Mmph!" she was cut off as Bon Bon quickly shoved a pale cream hoof in her mouth and pointed over at Town Hall, it was swarming with Royal Guards. They all looked around at the crowd of ponies that had gathered with surveying eyes checking for trouble makers as usual, but they also seemed to be scanning for something in particular. As the last of the residence of Ponyville gathered, the guards began sounding trumpets and raising the Royal Canterlot Flags. Lyra lifted Apple Bloom and Scootaloo onto her back for a better look while Sweetie Belle hopped on Bon Bon.

"Hey, look it's…Twilight?" said Scootaloo.

Lyra and Bon Bon peered at the distant stage to see that that was indeed Twilight Sparkle, and she seemed to be waiting for somepony behind the stage. As the guards continued to play, a hush fell over the crowd. A bright light began to radiate from behind the platform as everypony began to bow. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had arrived. The quiet murmur died instantly as Celestia raised a gilded hoof.

"Citizens of Ponyville," began Celestia, "my sister and I have come here to announce that this year's Nightmare Night Celebration is to be held in the capitol city of Canterlot!" Cheers erupted from those present along with what sounded like a stampede of hooves stomping the neatly cut grass as a few pegasi did loops in the air.

Luna quieted them once again, her face a bit more serious than her sister's. "Yes, but now I must first ask something of you" her voice was still a little rasp, "it has come to my attention that the bizarre energy disturbance that manifested here, was more than meets the eye." The ponies went silent. All eyes and ears were now focused on the midnight blue Princess. "It dropped off a traveler, a creature Equestria hasn't seen since before…Nightmare Moon's first appearance," a few shocked gasps escaped the crowd as the murmurs started up again, "so, we ask that whoever has seen this creature please step forward."

Pinkie (who had been hiding behind the platform) bounded out with a large banner that Rainbow Dash and Applejack helped prop up, the massive scroll was bound with a large red ribbon that Rarity untied with her magic. The parchment rolled out and revealed a large, detailed wanted poster of-

"'Pyro', as the creature has been identified. We ask that if you have any information of his whereabouts, that you would please talk with one of the guards that shall remain here in Ponyville until he is found." said Celestia in her Royal Canterlot Voice.

Lyra felt a small hoof prod the back of her head, "Well, go on, go tell the Princess 'bout Pyro! Ah'm sure she'll be nice, she is the Princess after all…" said Apple Bloom with confirming nods from Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

"Girls," started Bon Bon, "this needs to be our secret. Nopony needs to know about Pyro staying with Lyra. So we'll just keep quite." She turned around, and was positive that her jaw slammed onto the grass directly below her.

Up on the platform, in full view, was Pyro, holding his hands in front of his face as though he was taking a picture of the drawing Pinkie Pie had made. There was an absolute silence as he continued to look over the wonderful portrait she had made of him. Luna was the first to break the quiet scene.

"SEIZE HIM!"

Chapter 7: Nightmare Night

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

Luna rubbed the back of her sore head where Celestia had given her a "gentle tap" moments before. In her defense, she was more worried about the rubber-clad human fleeing than actually attacking anypony when she gave the order to seize him, but upon reflection (and her elder sister reminding her with a quick slap to the noggin), she now saw why this was not the best course of action one could have taken.

Pyro, despite his medium build, was strong. VERY strong. The fact that he had to haul those deceptively dense flamethrowers at the speeds he needed to catch Spies plus other gear he might be wearing made him incredibly fit over the years. It was these attributes that allowed him to perform mind-bending moves "normal" humans would have no chance of pulling off, like a double-suplex on two armor-wearing stallions.

After the shock wore off from watching such a display, the rest of the guards had moved in to try and capture the increasingly dangerous instigator. This resulted in two guards head-butting each other as Pyro vaulted over them and caught a third pegasi sentinel with a scissor lock as he and his captive corkscrewed onto the wooden platform.

Pyro usually didn't like to show off too much (taunting was a different story). He had found that keeping certain skills a secret gave him an advantage on the battlefield when his adversaries thought him otherwise defeated. Unlike Scout, who had needlessly showboated his new "triple jump" ability only a few moments after first receiving the Atomizer. It took Sniper all of six shots to adjust to the extra distance Scout could jump before blowing his walnut brain out of the back of his tiny little head.

Celestia sighed at the spectacle; her brightest and finest where getting their flanks handed to them by some crazed degenerate who didn't even appear to be putting up a fight, while her hoofpicked guards were doing their best and still ended up with a face full of grass as they went sailing off the makeshift wrestling ring. After watching this brutal beat-down go on for minute or so, Celestia calmed the crowd.

"EVERYPONY BE STILL!!!" her voice was so thunderous that it physically moved a couple of unfortunate unicorn guards a hoof forward.

As commanded, everypony (and Pyro) froze in place: One pegasi had his forelegs around Pyro's neck while Pyro himself had one pinned under his knee and another he was about ready to feed his herbivore teeth to if his raised fist was any indication.

Celestia waved them off, and Pyro returned the favor by releasing his captives who sputtered for air. "Forgive my sister, she only wanted you to stay so we could ask you a few questions about yourself." she said calmly. Pyro tapped his chin as he thought over her proposal, he nodded in agreement along with a thumbs-up.

The relived Sun Goddess smiled and closed her eyes, 'Phew, at least THAT'S taken care of…' Pyro took this opportunity to glance over at Luna, who herself had not stopped watching the human since his abrupt appearance moments before and who's eyes widened once she saw him looking in her direction. Pyro put two fingers to his shimmering goggles and then pointed to Luna as if to say "I'm watching you", before snapping back to Celestia before her eyelids reviled her beautiful magenta irises once more.

The dark blue Ruler of the Night gulped nervously, she had been getting better at making friends since she'd returned, but even she knew THAT relationship was going to require some patchwork.

"Now I must ask," said Celestia as she looked out over Ponyville, "where have you been staying all this time? Surly you didn't stay in Everfree until now, did you?"

Pyro cocked his head and looked past the alicorn Princess. He scanned the crowd of multicolored ponies in search for the one who had sheltered him for the past few days, not really thinking about what repercussions might befall her…or him. He spotted something moving towards the back; a mint-green and white tail with a lyre on either side attempting to file silently out of the crowd.

"Mrrrhr mho mrhr, Mrrira." muffled Pyro as he pointed in the direction of the fleeting flank.

"You there, halt!" said a unicorn guard that had teleported over to intercept the suspect with nothing more than a nod from Princess Celestia. Lyra felt a cold jolt rocket through her heart as it sank into her gut. She slowly turned to face the platform as everypony else (including Bon Bon and the CMC) parted to make a path directly from her to where the alicorns and the firebug stood pointing at her.

She walked nervously through the parted sea of technicolor Equestrians at a faster pace than she had wanted, but the two honor bound guards hurried her along. Lyra could feel everypony's gaze fall on her like judgmental daggers from every direction as the path began to close behind her while she walked. She nervously climbed up onto the wooden stage next to Pyro and Celestia as a second unicorn guard warped next to him and caused him to jump onto Lyra.

The sudden weight made her collapse and eveypony in the crowd began to either snicker quietly or laugh incessantly. Pyro, not quite as embarrassed as the unicorn he had just air-mounted, rubbed the back of his head as he stood up and tried his best to help Lyra to her hooves. She shot him a dirty look and then turned to face the Princess towering over her.

"Lyra Heartstrings; you have been found guilty of harboring a potentially dangerous suspect in the confines of your home…" said the Solar Goddess as she looked down upon the frightened harpist. A thousand thoughts battled for control within Lyra's mind: Would the Princess banish her? Lock her up? Lock her up in the place where she was banished? Send her to the moon? She started shaking, she didn't want to be separated from her friends. "…and you are to be commended."

Wait, what?

Lyra's jaw once again fell open, this time closed by Pyro. "I-I'm sorry P-P-Princess, but isn't that a BAD thing to do?" she stammered.

"Normally, yes. But you saw this, admittedly strange, creature and took pity on him. For all you knew he could have been Discord in disguise." Lyra eyed the flamboyant maniac suspiciously, the more she thought about it, the more he reminded her of the embodiment chaos. Celestia picked up on Lyra's skepticism and giggled warmly, "Have no fear, Discord is still trapped from his defeat at the hooves of the Elements of Harmony." Twilight and the rest of the Mane Six that where present all bashfully looked at one another, those titles still sounded too legendary.

Well, except for Rainbow Dash. The cyan pegasus simply adored being referred to as a hero, and swooped around around next to Lyra, "Yeah, don't worry about a thing! If Discord ever shows his mug around here again, we'll send him packing just like last time, and that goes for anypony else who tries to hurt our friends!" The crowd cheered as she waved to them, Rainbow's voice was so chalked full of confidence that Lyra quickly abandoned her fears that Pyro might have some alternative motives about overtaking Equestria…and replaced them with what he might be planning to do to the pegasus mare hovering over her left shoulder.

Pyro expressed an emotion that Lyra hadn't seen in him before; genuine anger. He balled up his fists and began to shake as he gave Dash (who was busy waving to the crowd) a glare that was transferrable through his black headpiece. Even during his battle with the Timber Wolves, Pyro always had a sense of child-like glee and curiosity about him. Now, he seemed like that of what Lyra was originally afraid he'd turn out to be; a killer for hire with a hot temper. But what had set him off? She looked back and forth between furious fire-starter and the oblivious blue pega- BLUE! That's why Pyro must've attacked Colgate, because of her blue coat! As Lyra began to piece together what was happening, it dawned on her just how many blue ponies were present. The first cobalt Equestrian her bright golden eyes rested upon was the most pivotal. Princess Luna.

Not only was she a deep blue with lighten tones of it in her stardust mane, but she had also ordered the guards (with sapphire manes and tails) to attack him completely unprovoked. Lyra let off a sigh of relief, though, remembering that she had hidden his lethal Detonator back in her house. She nervously looked over at the human, who's body language now suggested deep thought.

Pyro's hardboiled brain was working overtime trying to plot it's next course of action…and trying not to burst. This errant FLYING pony was defiantly blue, but what's with her hair? Pyro scanned every inch of her mane and tail; a perfect rainbow containing his favorite color, red (with his secondary favorites of orange and yellow following close behind).

He thought back to some of the the more vibrant hats that could be seen around the dusty wastelands of Teufort (if only for a moment as the wearer's head goes flying by), recalling all manner of colors and patterns, no matter which team the owner of said article of clothing swore their allegiance to. She was still blue, a light sky blue, and all of Pyro's intensive training at Mann Co. had taught him that all BLUs are to be eliminated on the spot.

He wavered. He just couldn't bring himself to torch the pegasus, Lyra had shown him that there was room for friendship outside of mindlessly blasting each other apart for some pointless land-grab that had been going since before he was even born. But his fiery, murder-loving core told him to finish the mare and every other BLU pony he could find…and maybe that little pink one wearing a tiara, something about that one just irked him.

He gripped his head, trying in vain to quell the war raging within his already damaged mind when a pink hoof tapped him on the back of his leg. He turned to see a smiling Pinkie Pie beaming up at him with brilliant blue eyes, she patted him on the back in a calming way.

"There there, Mr. Pyro, I know what you're thinking; 'I should go grab my big scary flamethrower and go after those BLU meanies'..." she said as she stood on her hind legs and did an overly dramatic interpretation of Pyro. "…but the thing is, there aren't any BLUs here. The only blue things here are the sky and Dashie over there!" A large "A-hem" resounded throughout the crowd as various blue ponies in attendance pointed to themselves or rose above the sea of technicolor faces so she could clearly see them. "Oh, yeah, them too," Pinkie said embarrassed, "while it might be okay to look at a BLU person and make super-quick decisions, you can't judge blue ponies like that. Some blue ponies are awesome like Dash and Luna, but some blue ponies, like Trixie, are just big meanies. Make sense?"

Pyro looked out over the gathering of Equestrians, and then at those up on the stage. After what seemed like minutes, he slowly shifted his gaze down at the pink party pony sitting impatiently tapping a hoof waiting for his response. The guards wanted to hear his reply too, as they would undoubtedly have to go another round with the red menace if what Pinkie had said caused him to finally snap.

Pinkie suddenly found herself being scooped up by the bipedal phoenix-incarnate and was given one of the warmest hugs she thought she'd ever felt. He beside himself with joy, No BLUs! He could finally relax, were it not for the sharp pain that suddenly rocketed through his body.

Pyro released Pinkie and fell to his knees in pain. While he had been hugging the pink partygoer, she had jabbed something into his shoulder. Deep. He reached around with his good arm and dislodged the offending implement; a black butterfly knife dripping with his blood. He looked up at Pinkie in confusion before being hit with another five all across his chest from the pink assassin. He couldn't even stay on his knees, with a final "HUDDAH!" he collided with the stage as everypony began to panic.

"You mumbling maniac." said Pinkie in an all too familiar voice. Smoke coiled around the bright earth pony, and spiraled up until it produced a slender man in a blue suit wearing a white paper mask with Pinkie's face. He threw away the mask to reveal the BLU Spy, smiling down at the broken fire-starter. Pyro could only watch as Celestia, Luna, Lyra, Rainbow Dash, and even the guards began to back away from him and the french saboteur.

The foreign infiltrator that had been masquerading as Pinkie rolled the wounded RED over with a sharp kick to the side, the Spy knelt down and grabbed the fading Pyro by his collar, blowing a thick waft of smoke into his leathery face. Pyro tilted his head back and realized that it was night, but that was impossible, since it was only about two in the afternoon. He looked around at the horrified faces of all of the ponies present, before settling on the wicked smile of his nemesis. A cold autumn gust rolled through air, causing immediate shivers and puffs of steam with each exhale, and pushing the clouds across the starless sky.

The Spy's smile grew wider, allowing even more of his hot breath to mingle with the already noticeable smoke from his trademark cigarette. "Now, Pyro. Why don't we show our little friends here what you really are…" he sneered. He snapped his fingers, and as if on command, the clouds opened up to reveal a giant full moon for all to see.

As moonbeams bathed the inhabitants of Ponyville with a soft glow, Pyro writhed about like an insect beneath a magnifying glass. The pain, he couldn't have imagined that resisting something he usually wished for could be so agonizing…but he couldn't let them see him like this, he couldn't let them see-

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"PYRO!" screamed Lyra. Pyro jerked awake and violently whacked his head on the roof of the sleeper car he so rudely found himself in. He grabbed his throbbing head and attempted to put a hand down on the floor so he could roll out of his bunk, but was only met with empty air and fell a good two feet before smacking his head in the exact same spot.

Lyra winced as she watched him groggily stagger back to his feet only to collapse on the bottom bunk behind him. She trotted over to the still dazed Pyro and patted him on the back, right where Pinkie had stabbed him in his dream.

"Oh, sorry, I don't know WHAT possessed those guards to put you on a top bunk. I guess they thought that maybe you wouldn't cause as much commotion if you were out of sight…"

"Muph hurrhumph?" he asked.

"What happened? Well, after Pinkie Pie said there weren't any blues here, you sorta…passed out." Her words began to register with RED Team's Spy-checker; he was no longer on the wooden stage, or in Ponyville for that matter. He heard a whistle, a train whistle, which pierced the air as the blurry scenery outside of the large glass windows began to slow and come into focus. "We're on the Canterlot Express," Lyra said bluntly, "this should be the last stop before we hit Canterlot, but we've still got a few hours."

Pyro rubbed his shoulder and found it un-punctured even though he thought he could still feel pain. Ponies from the Fillydelphia Station shuffled through the door, chattering amount themselves and carrying various saddlebags and duffles either on their backs or via magic.

They all stopped, whoever, once they saw the giant creature sitting on the bunk about midway into the sleeper car. They all gasped and took a few steps back, until a little unicorn filly (to the utter dismay of he parents and those she was traveling with) approached the human and a frantic Lyra.

"What's that?" she asked clinging her doll of what appeared to be a plush alicorn with a red mane and quill and ink Cutie Mark.

"Uh, it's a Nightmare Night decoration I brought with me from Ponyville…?" said Lyra with a poker face almost as bad as Applejack's. The filly squinted at Pyro, who was now perfectly still, rubbing her chin as she looked him over. Sweat the size of golf balls rolled down Lyra's mint-green coat intensifying the slight breeze that was coming in from the open door.

'Why aren't her parents trying to save her?' thought Lyra as she watched the little unicorn continue to examine the contract killer, she looked over at the cluster of stunned ponies and saw that the filly's parents where just as frozen as the rest of them.

The young pony finally spoke, "Oh neat!" and simply trotted back to the shocked gathering behind her. "What?" she said confused.

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An hour had passed since the group of concerned Fillydelphians had been reassured by the guards that the "Nightmare Night Decoration" was not dangerous in anyway (even though most of the guards on board where the same unlucky combatants that had seen firsthoof just how tough Pyro was). While this had prevented mass panic, it also meant that poor Pyro was forced to stay in one position. Lyra decided to pretend to shift him into a sleeping potion so he could relax, and as the crowd filed out into other cars, he was able to move little by little.

"Can I get you anything? Water?" asked Lyra who was sitting at his feet. Pyro slowly tilted his head to either side. "Alright. *Sigh* I wish I at least had a costume for one of the biggest parties outside of the Grand Galloping Gala…"

She felt a tug on her tail, and saw Pyro's hand that was hidden behind his body pointing up at the bunk above them, Lyra got up and climbed to the top bunk where a familiar battered backpack sat waiting for her. She hefted it up with a magical bubble and placed on the ground before Pyro. He took advantage of a small bump on the tracks to tilt his head so he could see his beloved storage system.

Just then, a small bell chimed throughout the car, dinner was served. Everypony got up and shuffled out of the sleeper car and into the dining car located towards the back according to the attractive attendant's voice that crackled over the speaker.

Pyro wasted no time, bolting up but being carful not to give himself anymore brain damage than he already had, and dove into his backpack. Lyra heard metallic clangs, the sound chains, and keys rattling together as the highly animated 'Nightmare Night Decoration' tore though the brown bag in search of something to help Lyra's predicament. He finally resurfaced and presented Lyra with her very own cow skull sporting detailed designs, the Pyromancer's Mask.

Lyra reluctantly accepted the cow remains as Pyro hopped up to confront one of the guards. She held the skull in her hooves, it had been worn down in some areas from wear and tear, one one of it's horns was broken but it did have a beautiful paint job…BUT THAT DIDN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT THIS WAS COW SKULL!

She tried not to think about exactly where he would have found something like this when Pyro returned with a black cloth. He gestured for her to put on the mask and try the cloth that turned out to be a hastily sown robe. She slowly placed the disgusting headgear over her face and cringed once she noticed just how snuggly it fit. Once she managed to stop the apples attempting a jailbreak from her queazy stomach, she dawned the black cloak and looked at her reflection in a nearby mirror.

She certainly looked terrifying...but she simply couldn't wear a real cow skull without feeling like she was defiling somepony's remains (especially since she actually knew a few cows back in Ponyville). She sighed and hoofed the mask back to Pyro, who was now very confused. He thought she wanted to look as frightening as she could.

"Thanks, but…I just don't feel comfortable wearing something like that."

"Hrrm? Mrr murph murr…"

"Oh, it's NOT real?"

"Murr murr, hmm?" He flipped the mask around and pointed to a serial number imbedded on the jaw.

"Oh, well in that case; GIMME!" she said with a renewed sense of accomplishment as she was once again able to wear her perfectly scary costume.

Just then, a second bell tone chimed over the intercom, signaling the end of dinner. Before Pyro could hop back into the safety of his bunk the now filled passengers stumbled in to see he him mid-dive into his sheets.

"Okay, uh, nopony panic…" started Lyra.

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After another hour of explaining Pyro's predicament (with a little assistance from the guards) they finally reached Grand Central Station in Canterlot, which had been made up to look like a cave with an inflatable Ursa Major looming within. Hundreds of tired ponies trotted out of the doors as steam from the breaks hissed and enveloped the platform, making it all the more spooky. Most of the arriving ponies had changed into their Nightmare Night outfits on the ride over, especially Lyra, Pyro, Bon Bon (who had slept through most of the shenanigans on the ride over), and the Mane 6:

Lyra, with some assistance from Rarity, now had a torn black cloak with blood red designs all about it to match the ones on the Pyromancer's Mask. Bon Bon meanwhile was wearing a dress that the same side as the pink in mane, appeared to be normal, while having wild fringe and gnarls on the side with her dark blue.

Rarity herself (somewhat embarrassed that she hadn't been able to attend last Nightmare Night) was dressed as a vampiric mistress with a regal, purple, web-like dress and fake fangs. Sweetie Belle had worn her old vampire costume too to make Rarity feel a bit better.

Applejack was sporting a matching outfit with her sister; they dressed as each other. Applejack had dyed her mane amaranth and altered her Cutie Mark to match her yellow-cream coat, Apple Bloom on the other hoof had done the same but with AJ's color scheme and stenciled apples on her flank. They had simply traded headgear, a task that seemed trivial to everypony but Pyro, who nearly exploded when he witnessed the exchange.

Rainbow Dash soared overhead as nothing more than a golden yellow streak across the sky in her homemade Daring Do outfit. She too had altered her cloud/lightning bolt Cutie Mark into Daring's compass cross with amazing attention to detail and dulled her mane into shades of grey. Down below, a Wonderbolt by the name of Scootaloo ran alongside the other Crusaders in her authentic uniform she had received during a Junior Wonderbolts camp.

Fluttershy had reluctantly accompanied her friends only because they had ambushed her when she tried to escape back into her cottage. She had tried to wear other costumes, but only ended up scaring herself when she saw her reflection, so she settled on wearing a couple of bat bows in her mane and tail.

Pinkie Pie was as festive as ever, wearing what could only be described as "The Pumpkin Queen" with a Jack-O-Lantern for a helmet that actually lit up and shot candy from the top. Needless to say, she was very popular with all the fillies (and the occasional guard who hadn't had a chance to eat anything before their shift).

Twilight had gone a different route this year and decided to go as outback explorer; tinted sunglasses, a brown slouch hat, a multi-pocketed leather vest, and a red shirt underneath.

And last but not least, Pyro, who had adorned his Last Breath skull and a Waxy Wayfinder candle on top that had a fiery pumpkin floating around it.

All of the ponies made their ways up through the busy streets of the shimmering city as dusk fell over Equestria. Once everypony had made the short pilgrimage to the city center, they spread out to sample the local wears but stayed close enough so they wouldn't have to trot all the way back over.

The guards were having a field day trying to keep tabs on all of the masquerading Equestrians. The one day of the year that where somepony dressed like a lunatic was something that inspired praise. Not to say that the guards all hated the holiday, far from it. If anything, they were jealous that they weren't going to be able to change into costumes until their shifts ended. Most of the costumes were fairly impressive, it wasn't unusual to hear guards breaking their stoic character to openly admire a passerby with an impressive getup.

They were so infatuated with sightseeing in their own city square that they barely even registered a large statue covered by a tarp being pushed through the sea of ponies towards the castle by four surly stallions with matching pumpkin heads and leather jackets that read "Hill Yard Gang".

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Luna paced her room nervously, the moment of truth would soon be upon her and everypony in Equestria would be witness to her reaction. As she made her four hundred and thirty-seventh lap around her sleeping chamber, her massive black door swung open and Celestia trotted in with two guards who stopped after setting hoof past the threshold only to bow and closed the door behind her.

"How goes the prep-" started Celestia. Her question was cut off by the manic look her sister gave her upon noticing that somepony else was also in her room. "-eration?"

"Dearest sister! We could not BEGIN to conjure ye terror we hath endured within this last hour's passing!" she said frantically as she continued to pace.

"Alright, alright. Calm yourself Luna, you're going to do fine!" said Celestia in a motherly tone.

"It's just that we, I mean 'I', want to make a good first impression." Luna pushed back her velvety curtains and gazed out over the town square where she would be making her grand entrance. Celestia had already set the sun to rest and now the vastly empty sky waited patiently for it's Princess to raise the all-important moon to officially begin Nightmare Night. "Most of those little ponies out there have only heard stories passed around by tabloids and word of mouth…I have no idea what they'll think of me."

Celestia was about to speak up when a rap on the door demanded her and Luna's attention. A member of Luna's Secret Service stepped in and quickly bowed, "Forgive the interruption, but it appears as if though Princess Luna has a package here for delivery."

"Oh!" Luna's mood lightened, she loved getting presents. "What is it?"

"A statue as far as I can tell." He beckoned for the four pumpkin heads to wheel the massive tarp-covered sculpture into the Lunar Goddess' private quarters. Celestia rose an eyebrow at the suspicious gathering of delinquents that had suddenly fouled up the air in Luna's room with some unknown stench, which the guard quickly picked up on. "Have no fear Princess, I checked it mysel-"

The guard and the four stallions went ridged before all falling to the ground with heavy thuds. Multiple colors of aura poured from their eyes and swiftly traveled up the tarp which fell as one of the carriers tugged on it when he collapsed, revealing the "statue".

"HELLO MY DEARS, HAVING A HAPPY HALLOWEEN? HAHAHA!!!"

Celestia, utterly shocked by what she saw before her, readied a spell but wasn't quick enough.

"BOO!"

Celestia flinched, and didn't have time to recover before the Horseless Headless Horseman blasted her and Luna with a shockwave from the gruesome Headtaker. The two alicorns slammed into the far side of the room with a deafening crash that cracked the walls where they had struck. Her vision didn't return for a few moments, all she could see was a blurred image of the HHH and Luna shakily getting back on her hooves.

"L-Luna…it's not worth it…s-s-save yourself…" Celestia said through gritted teeth as she tried to stand as well.

"Don't call me that…" said Luna who turned to face her sister.

"W-What?"

"Don't call me BY THAT FOALISH NAME." Luna's voice suddenly got deeper, more matured. A dark ether swarmed around her body from the shadow the Horseman cast upon the floor as the Headtaker glowed a bright purple while it hissed. She began to grow taller as her horseshoes rose up her legs and her crown folded back onto her head like a helmet. Her mane became wilder, her coat changed to a dark cerulean, and her pupils became piercing slits that stared daggers at the fallen Princess. She smiled, revealing flawless pointed teeth, "WHAT'S WRONG, SISTER? AREN'T YOU GLAD TO SEE ME?"

Celestia couldn't speak. Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched the same evil corrupt her sister once again, transformering her into the dreaded Nightmare Moon.

"SHE'S SPEECHLESS. BUT THAT'S ALRIGHT, SHE WON'T HAVE NEED FOR THAT SLENDER NECK MUCH LONGER."

Celestia closed her eyes, she knew it was over.

Chapter 9: Infernal Imp (Part 2)

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN AGES? EAT SOMEPONY." said a bored Nightmare Moon as she observed her loyal Night Watch while they continued to move ponies into the courtyard, including Pinkie and her band of fillies she had attempted to lead to safety. Silas whirled around at the blunt statement.

"YOU ACTUALLY CANNIBALIZED SMALL PONIES BACK DURING THE SHORT PERIOD OF TIME YOU WERE IN POWER A THOUSAND YEARS AGO?" he growled slightly taken aback. He knew that Nightmare was evil (whence why he picked her to be his herald), but he didn't think she would have gone that far.

"HMM, NOT REALLY. THESE UNGRATEFUL PEASANTS MADE RASH STORIES ABOUT ME AFTER I WAS SO WRONGLY BANISHED…BUT I'M FEELING A LITTLE PECKISH AND THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING NEW TO TRY." said Nightmare as she licked her lips and scanned the horrified cluster of terrified Equestrians spread out before her in a colorful smorgasbord. Her cat-like eyes swept over the herd, until they came to rest on one filly in particular. Nightmare's horn lit up with her aura and surrounded one captive with a magical field and hoisted her up into the air.

"NO! DINKY!!!" Derpy screamed over the few gasps and shrieks in the crowd as her yellow, uneven eyes watched her only daughter be carried away towards the hungry Goddess. Derpy launched with astounding speed into the dark night sky and tore off after her "Muffin" as fast as she possibly could. She snatched Dinky from the pulsating spell and made a sharp u-turn away from Nightmare Moon and her questionable tastes. Nightmare was about to soar after them when a large glowing glove went up in front of her muzzle before she got up.

"NOW NOW, NIGHTMARE. ALLOW ME, I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO TEST MY NEW BAG OF TRICKS. HAH!"

With that, the Horseless Headless Horseman (who had been largely inactive for the majority of the coup) raised his mighty Headtaker high over his head and began to swing it in a circular motion. A purple aura trailed behind it as it rotated, glowing in density and luminousness as Silas swung faster. He focused on the grey pegasus and her unicorn daughter as they fled from the Night Watch guards that tailed them, the Headtaker hissed as he used the built-up momentum to fuel a massive backswing. In an instant the magic focused into the blade and shot forth as a crescent in the shape of the arc the Headtaker had taken and tore after Derpy at an alarming pace.

"H-Hey! Look ou-GRAAAH!!!" The Night Watch guardspony, who had fallen behind the other two in pursuit of Derpy in case she tried to double back, was suddenly struck by the purple energy slash that had seemingly teleported into being behind him. As it made contact with his dark armored saddle, he writhed in agony from the soaring crescent that phased through his body while leaving him unscratched. He plummeted like a stone towards the ground, the other two guards took this as a warning and broke off the chase in order to avoid meeting the same fate as their fallen comrade.

Derpy wasn't the greatest flyer in Equestria. She routinely bonked her head on her daily rounds and could usually be seen flying upside-down. But this wasn't the same mailmare Derpy, no, this was fiercely protective mother Derpy and she wasn't about to let Dinky come to any harm she could save her from.

She soared high into the pale moonlight and then dropped into a swan dive to throw off the sinister slash. No luck, the energy continued to follow her no matter what she did.

Back at the Castle Grounds, Silas was amusing himself with how easy it was to steer his attack with mere thought (and the aid of about twelve unicorn horns). "I GROW TIRED OF THIS GAME, SILAS." said Nightmare Moon as she slumped down on the throne she had made for herself that reflected her sinister personality, "JUST FINISH HER ALREADY."

The HHH stifled a curse, she had no right to order him around. Well, he'd soon take care of that…"AS YOU WISH. HAH!"

The energy crescent picked up speed and closed the gap between it and Derpy's blonde tail. She knew what would happen if that thing hit her, and that Dinky would be shocked too.

She made a decision that no mother should ever have to. Spotting the nearest cliff, she squeezed Dinky tightly and swooped as close to it as she could before releasing her daughter to safety. Dinky hit the ground a bit harder than Derpy would have liked and tumbled into a shrub. She quickly righted herself and ran to the edge to see her mom, floating there, smiling at her as tears poured down her cheek.

"MOMMY!"

"It's okay Dinky! Just run, run as fast as you can away from Canterlot! I'll...I'll meet up with you, be safe!" said Derpy as she drifted further away from her confused and frightened filly.

"No mommy! Don't leave!" cried Dinky, who was now as close to the edge of the cliff as she could get, but her mother kept drifting away from her.

"I'm so sorry Dinky, just know that I always lo-"

She was cut off as the energy crescent, which had taken the form of a spear, plunged into Derpy with a loud crackling sound as her nerves fried and her brain shut down from the overload of pain. Dinky screamed as she was forced to watch her mother plummet into a nearby tree and broke multiple branches before she finally came to rest at the trunk where she remained motionless.

Dinky broke down into sobs as she realized just how horrible things had become, she just wanted for it all to go away. She screamed again, this time asking the powers that be why her mommy was taken away from her.

And this time, she received an answer: "BECAUSE NIGHTMARE WON'T STOP PESTERING ME UNTIL YOU'RE IN HER GULLET."

Dinky jumped as she tuned to see a massive hand stretching out of a purple portal that originated form the tree behind her (needless to say the squirrel that lived there was also having a fairly traumatic experience). Dinky stood her ground, although she was only a school filly with a pegasus mom, she had already learned a few spells from other unicorns and the time she spent at the library with Twilight.

Her tiny horn began to glow with a spell she hoped would save her; a flash, a thunderous explosion, and the glove was engulfed in flames that almost singed Dinky's fur.

Dinky looked around as the glove retreated back from whence it came. Had she done that? She looked behind her and saw that something far more wondrous had occurred; Celestia was free, and she was here to put a stop to her sister's mad reign. Dinky ran the towering alicorn and hugged her hoof.

"P-P-Princess! Thank you so much! I- MOMMY!!!"

Dinky let go of Celestia and was about to check on her possibly doomed mother when she felt a soft warmth engulf her being and gently lifted her onto Celestia's back. The Princess fanned out her wings to make sure she wouldn't fall and trotted to the edge of the cliff, where Over-Dose and Quick-Fix were already treating Derpy's wounds.

Celestia lowered a crying Dinky down to the two medics as she received the best hug Derpy could give her with her broken ribs. Pyra stepped out from behind one of the trees.

"That's *sniff* so beautiful…" sniffled the masked avenger as she watched the two grey mares' loving embrace. She regained her composure upon seeing the intensity in her Princess' eyes and stood next to her.
Celestia and Pyra jumped bravely through the purple portal the HHH hadn't bothered to close. Now it was time to finish this madness.

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"GAAAAAAH!!! THAT WALKING GLUE STICK SCORCHED ME!" screamed Silas as he reeled back from the intensity of the heat. He had been burned countless times before at the rubbery hands of RED and BLU's Pyros, but the pain of being charred with a home-made Flamethrower pales in comparison when being burned by the Goddess of the Sun.

Nightmare Moon rolled her cat-like eyes. "OH, BOO-HOO. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MORE OF A WARRIOR THAN THAT! FINE, IF YOU WANT TO SULK IN SHAME, THEN I'LL GLADLY GET MY HOOVES DIRTY IF IT MEANS FINISHING OFF-"

The portal that the Horseless Headless Horseman had so carelessly left open began to crackle as something, or somepony, tunneled it's why through.

"-CELESTIA?"

Celestia tackled her misbehaving sister as she shot through the portal, followed closely by Pyra who charged through with the aid of the Splendid Screen and crashed into a group of inattentive Night Watch guardsponies.

Nightmare quickly gave chase, and soon both Royal Pony Sisters where airborne and launching inanimate spells at one another in a dazzling display that would have shamed any firework. The battle soon turned to Celestia's favor, and Nightmare was forced to focus her spells to shield herself from her sister's rage.

"HORSEMAN! HELP- NNGH! HELP ME FIGHT HER OFF!" barked Nightmare Moon as yet another sun beam projected from Celestia's horn slammed into her failing shield spell.

"HMM? WHAT WAS THAT? I COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ME 'SULKING IN SHAME'…" he said bitterly.

Nightmare fired a dark orb at Celestia, who in turn dodged it and fired one made of pure light. "ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO ARGUE WITH ME RIGHT NOW!? STRIKE HER YOU FOAL!"

Silas withdrew the Headtaker, this could actually work well for him. If he "accidentally" hit Nightmare while he was assaulting Celestia, then his rise to power would only take half as long! He wound up, focusing all of his own magic with that of the numerous horns he had harvested into what would secure his rightful place in the halls of…what is THAT?

Out of the corner of his hollow eye, he saw a twinkling in the darkness near the mountains; a flame, and it was moving quickly across the valley. It had a strange shape to it, like that of a bird.

"PHILOMEENA? OH LOOK, SISTER, AT LEAST ONE OF YOUR PATHETIC FOLLOWERS KNOWS HOW TO SHOW SOME COURAGE! ONCE I FINISH YOU OFF, I THINK I'LL TRY SOME ROASTED PHOENIX THAT THOSE SNIVELING CANTERLOT ELITISTS HAVE BEEN WHINING ABOUT FOR SO LONG!" Nightmare Moon laughed as she finally started to force her elder sister to take up a defensive spell that rendered her immobile while it was active. "HAHA! NOW, SILAS! DESTROY HER SHEILD SO I CAN FINISH HER ONCE AND FOR ALL! SILAS? WHAT ARE YOU GAWKING AT!? IT'S JUST A PHOENIX!"

"NO IT'S NOT…"

To the sisters, it looked exactly like Philomeena swooping around near the castle, even Pyra and the Elements of Harmony (who were now engaged in combating the Night Watch) thought that Celestia's pet phoenix was rushing to the aid of her master.

But the flames grew brighter and much MUCH larger. With the sudden appearance of the raging inferno soaring about in the night sky, the HHH had let all of the magic he had stored in the Headtaker either drain out or seep back into his own being. He shook his carved head and began to charge again, this time not taking his eyes off the looming creature.

The tip of the phoenix glowed brightly as a white-hot fireball rocketed away from the rest of the body, hurling directly at Silas.

"DAMN…" He had no choice, he swung his Headtaker with what little energy he had stored and let fly another energized cutting crescent, much like the one that hounded Derpy. The two energies collided mid flight into a shower of flame and crackles followed by a deafening explosion. Now everypony, Night Watch and Element alike, watched as the the mysterious creature flew closer towards the Horseless Headless Horseman.

"WHAT- WHAT IS THAT THING? THAT COULDN'T BE A DRAGON COULD IT?" stammered Nightmare Moon as she continued to find any flaw in her sister's shields.

"NO. IT'S WORSE," he snarled readying the Headtaker, "IT'S A BLAZING BULL!"

"MMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

The fireball picked up speed and barreled straight for Silas. The flames that flew off the main body crackled and continued to burn in the air, leaving a long fiery tail. Silas, not wanting to be humiliated again, surrounded the mysterious UFO (Unidentified Fiery Object) with multiple levitation spells that the owners of the unicorn horns knew and forced the object towards the ground a couple of yards away…right where Celestia and Nightmare Moon were having their showdown of the ages.

As the flaming faux-phoenix violently changed course, the two Princesses both realized that no simple spell would protect either of them from the meteorite and both warped away. The impact shook Equestria and the very foundation of the mountain as the flames washed around the castle. After a brief moment of staring, Nightmare launched another assault at Celestia, only to be forced to dodge the much more effective counter-strike that the Sun Goddess brought forth.

The Horseless Headless Horseman walked slowly over to the smoldering crater, his heavy footsteps crushing the rubble from the mid-sized explosion. He reached the mouth of the gapping hole and peered down into it's smoke filled depths, nothing stirred and no sound other than the ones coming from the various struggles around him could be heard. Silas started back when he heard something, something all too familiar: the hiss of a propane pilot light.

*Hissssss-FOOM*

"DAMN IT ALL TO H-"

"HUDDAH-HUH!"

A stream of ignited propane cut through the thick smoke cover and torched the HHH's hollow head, entering every opening it could and burning him from the inside. He howled like a wounded animal and clutched his face as his natural resistance to after-burn dowsed the embers almost instantly, and just in time for him to watch a crackling pinwheel shoot from the ditch and rise high in the air. At the apex of it's ascent, the flames were fanned away by two glowing red wings.

"PYRO!?" cried Lyra in disbelief as she and everypony else turned towards the moon where a lone figure was casting his silhouette.

Hovering there like a bat out of hell, the Infernal Imp gazed down upon all of the little ponies in attendance from his small, rectangular, golden lenses that sat just under the classical round ones. In place of his usual goggles were two massive red horns that jutted from the sockets, and a pointed red ear adorned either side of the otherwise black mask. The most prominent feature was also the most useful; two leathery bat wings, that sported the same colors as the horns, had sprung from either shoulder and were busy flapping away to keep the Infernal Imp airborne. Finally, down at the end of propane tank, was a red and yellow tail that whipped mindlessly about on it's own accord.

In his hands hissed a horrible monster, a beast that had been the end of many foes who thought that they could run from such a beast; the Backburner. Although it shared much with the basic Flamethrower in terms of design, the front of the nozzle had been modified to look like the head of a dragon with two angry eyes painted on the sides. The reason this weapon was chosen above all the rest by the Imp wasn't so much for the looks, but for its devilish effect to cause fatal burns to any who tried to run from its scorching breath.

After a moment of silence shared by all, the Imp dive-bombed back towards the earth. As his dive-bomb achieved mach 2, he swooped around, barely missing the ground and tackling the HHH into a nearby guard tower. Silas roared and swung the Headtaker wildly as he attempted to end the elusive maniac. The Imp had other plans, none of which involved him dying without taking the Horseless Headless Horseman down with him.

Using his short wings to fuel his movements, the Imp easily evaded the Headtaker, all the while punishing the HHH's sloppy attacks with quick bursts from his Backburner.

"WHY-"

*CLANG*

"WON'T-"

*FWOOSH*

"YOU-"

*WHAM*

"DIE!?"

*FOOOOM*

==========================================================

While the Goddesses and demons were engaged in mortal kombat, their followers were having quite the bout themselves. The Night Watch (who had up until this point been on top the situation) fell one by one as the combined forces of the Elements of Harmony and Pyra: Defender of Justice proved too much to be contained.

"Good job getting hold of the Elements, Pinkie!" shouted Twilight as she sniped a guardspony out the air. "Nothing but a bunch of prancing show ponies!" she jeered.

"No problem, Twilight! It was super-duper easy once I told the kids what we were looking for! They're REALLY good at scavenger hunts! I would have never thought that Nightmare Moon hid them on the roof, good thing I had Featherweight with me! Oh! That's what we should do when we get back to Ponyville, have a big scavenger hunting party! There'll be cake, balloons, and-"

"Pinkie, dear, do think that now is really the best time for that?" said Rarity as the blue diamond on her solid gold Element Neckless repelled a would-be attacker with a magical burst, giving her time to fix a stray hair in her vampiric mane.

Pyra had been holding her own too, even when compared to the Elements. She had discovered that her magic allowed her to recharge the Splendid Screen at much faster rate, allowing her to tackle one guard and be ready to do it again in a matter of moments.

"Say, guys?" asked Pyra after she picked herself up from slamming into yet another guard. "How are we supposed to stop those two if Celestia can't? I know you're the Elements and all, but even if we turn Princess Luna back to normal, the Horseman will just turn her right back!"

"It's okay…Lyro?"

"Pyra."

"Sorry, 'Pyra'. I'm sure we'll find- Applejack! Behind you! -some way to- Fluttershy, that guard's going after Sweetie Belle! -stop them. We always do!"

Twilight's confidence was just what Pyra needed to keep pushing through, if anypony was going to find a solution, it'd be her…but stopping Nightmare Moon and the Horseless Headless Horseman wasn't what was on her mind (despite how critical it may have been).

She was more concerned about Pyro. As she watched him bravely swoop in and out the HHH's attack range, burning him as he did so, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd be back to normal. He was certainly more frightening now, with the horns, wings and tail now poking out his body. But he was also acting VERY strangely. She couldn't put her hoof on it but it seemed like he was fighting more viciously than when he fought the guards back in Ponyville.

The next few moments only confirmed what she fearing, and that he had indeed changed: During an aerial flip, Silas had caught a lucky break and finally landed a hit, right on the Backburner's propane tank. It hissed wildly and forced the Infernal Imp to discard his beloved torch seconds before it exploded into a cloud of fire and shrapnel. The Horseman let out a reverberating laugh as he closed in for the finishing blow. The Imp stood his ground, unflinching in his resolve.

'NO! Why won't he MOVE!?' screamed Pyra inside her mask-covered head.

He changed his stance, coupling his hands behind back but still not moving from his sacred spot on the destroyed courtyard.

"HUH…"

The Horseman drew closer, the Headtaker whaling for the Imp's head.

"DUH…"

The abomination took one last step, coming well within striking distance. To his horror, he found out soon enough that he had been inside the Imp's striking distance the entire time.

"HUH!!!"

The following flash of light and crushing roar of the flames instantly gained the attention of everypony that could see the towering inferno. From his blackened rubber gloves, the Infernal Imp had unleashed an unprecedented amount of fire-based magic ever seen in all of Equestrian history. The godly pilot light reached into the atmosphere and illuminated almost ever corner of Equestria for the few seconds it blazed until slowly receding back down to the Imp's singed hands.

Even Celestia, who had been to the surface of her sun countless times, hovered in awe before her attention snapped back to her sister climbing out of the fresh crater she had thrown her into.

"UHH, YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT SISTER!" she hissed as she stumbled out.

"You don't have any say in what happens now, Nightmare. Look at what's befallen your champion." said Celestia as she indicated with her eyes over to where the Infernal Imp wobbled to stay standing after such a feat.

There, about three hooves ahead of him lay the Headtaker, it's master's boney arm still tightly clutching the battered handle for all its worth in the center of a gargantuan scorch mark.

Everypony, except Nightmare and her traitorous Night Watch, cheered and rejoiced at the downfall of such a horrid creature. They jumped and danced around, the CMC thought they even got their Cutie Marks at one point, but it turned out to be singed fur from the stray embers that followed from the Über Huddah-oken.

The Elements had rushed over to aid Celestia and used their combined powers of friendship to purge the darkness from Princess Luna.

After the cold night lit up yet again from the Element's Purification Rainbow that entangled Nightmare Moon, it reverted her back to the Luna the Mane Six had first met back in the Everfree Forest.

Upon her return, she graciously asked everypony for forgiveness, which she got in the form a group hug with all her friends (which was only the Elements and Celestia, but still).

However, as Pyra quickly noticed, something was still amiss; the Night Watch were still resisting, Nightmare had given up far too easily, and the Imp still had his guard up (despite how spent he had become).

'I can't be the only pony who notices this,' said Pyra as she scanned the happy scene. 'Instead having come back to see us, Pyro's still looking for something, but what?'

Pyra looked over at the Elements and saw Twilight's violet eyes darted around from behind her tinted shades. She noticed something was wrong too, but neither of them could place a hoof on it.

"MURR? MUPH! HUDDAH!" The Imp became infuriated and hopped away from where he had been standing as a purple smog engulfed the Headtaker and the Horseman's arm within its swirling confines. The axe began to twirl on its own accord as the Horseless Headless Horseman rose from the depths with a sickening cackle and reattached his severed arm, and by extension, his Headtaker.

Everypony gasped in shock as Luna tried her best to hide behind her sister, who in turn fanned out her wings to further shield her frightened sibling. The Elements readied themselves, all except Pinkie, who had been pulled away during the premature celebrating by some of the fillies that had helped her find the Elements of Harmony.

The Imp couldn't move, he had taken a misstep that cost him his balance and had once more struck his already pounding head on the side of Canterlot Castle. He crumpled into a semi-conscience heap as images swirled about before him.

The HHH said nothing, but instead launched into another attack. The Headtaker glowed and fired a beam of striking purple energy at the whimpering Luna. Celestia refused to stand aside and lose her sister again, she took one last look at her sister, her magenta eyes filled with tears as she closed them tightly.

The malicious magic washed over both of the Royal Pony Sisters, the resulting explosion threw the Elements and scattered them in all directions. Applejack nearly flew off the edge but was saved by quick thinking on Rarity's part and was snatched from her plummeting dive by a faint blue aura that originated from the fashoinista's perfectly white horn.

"Thanks, Rarity. Ah almost bought the farm there." said AJ as she fixed her bow that adorned her dyed amaranth mane.

"It's nothing, Applejack. However we really must find Pinkie so we can put a stop to these uncouth infiltrators!"

"Yer tellin' me! She sure has a knack fer high-tailing it at the worst possible time…*sigh* Least she always brings somethin' back with her that usually-" The farming earth pony stopped short. Rarity followed Applejack's stricken gaze past the Infernal Imp as he got back on his feet and across the courtyard to where they had been thrown.

The dust that had been thrown up by the spell's impact had taken a purple hue and now blanketed the demolished throne. Spontaneous sparks and bursts of energy crackled and danced among the thick particle cover as it slowly dissipated.

The silence could have been cut with a knife, and that knife was the sound of gilded horseshoes clinking against the cobblestone. As they grew louder from within, the shape of an alicorn came into focus. As she stepped into view, she expanded her elegant wings, dispelling the nearby fog. Nightmare Moon's cat-like irises flashed as she glared at the Elements.

"Oh, COME ON!" shouted a vampiric Sweetie Belle from somewhere in the crowd before a miniature Wonderbolt and pint-sized Applejack pulled her back down to safety.

Twilight groaned. "Ugh! Darn it! Could this get any worse!?"

A second clinking sound echoed from the depths of the purple dust. Princess Celestia was alright as well! As the Princess approached, Nightmare's face twisted not to one of fear, but into a wicked smile. Even Silas was paying close attention to what was transpiring before him. From out of the cloud stepped a blazing red horseshoe that belonged to an equally fiery set of red eyes. A burst of flame and the purple smoke was no more, revealing Princess Celestia; her flowing, multi-colored mane and tail were now comprised solely of raging flames that lashed wildly about. Her white coat now boar a more crimson tone than it's normal soft pink and accented her furious red eyes that cast their gaze over the stunned audience (which had been in various levels of shock and awe ever since the night got underway).

Her ruby horseshoes were now more along the lines of boots that reached up most of her forelegs and spiked near the tips. While her signature collar had done little more than change to a reddish hue, her once sparkling tiara was now a crown fit for a malicious monarch.

The Horseless Headless Horseman could no longer contain his curiosity. Folding his arms across his ribcage and looking towards the sky, he fell into an opening created in the ground beneath him and reappeared in-between Nightmare and the fiery new Celestia, much to their surprise.

"MY MY, THIS CAN'T TRULY BE PRINCESS CELESTIA, CAN IT?"

She looked him over for a moment, her face retaining it's stern expression as her mouth curled into a smile. "NO, NOT ANYMORE. CALL ME…SOLAR FLARE." Solar Flare looked around at the ponies who were once more being rounded up, "HMM, THIS SIMPLY WON'T DO. WHERE ARE MY LOYAL GUARDS?"

Nightmare laughed, "WHY, THEY DECIDED TO TAKE THE NIGHT OFF, AND ARE SLEEPING COMFORTABLY IN THE DINNING HALL." She chuckled, remembering the laughter she and the Night Watch had enjoyed as they watched Celestia's best stumble and crash about the dinning hall, all the while splattering food and drinks across every surface as the powerful sleeping powder took hold.

Solar Flare raised an eyebrow, her face once again reverting back to one of quiet resentment for everypony but herself. Her horn glowed with a wild aura that matched her brilliant flames, casting a dull glow in the immediate area.

All was silent for a moment, save the crackling of Solar's mane and the harrowing wind that whipped across the sweat-drenched bodies of the petrified ponies. There was a clattering slam off in distance, followed by a growing roar of armored hooves matching in step and multiple wingbeats moving steadily towards the courtyard.

The iconic Royal Guards made their way through the deserted streets from the chow hall to the courtyard that had seen more excitement in the past two hours than the rest of Canterlot had seen in years.

"MHMMHMHM. NOW MY FAITHFUL GUARDS, TO WHOM DO YOU SWEAR ALLEGIANCE?" boomed Solar Flare in her most commanding Canterlot Voice.

"Solar Flare…" they all chanted in unison. Twilight looked down at their eyes, something was wrong. As she peered at the nearest guard, she saw his pupils flicker and burn like twin flames dancing in white pools.

"Ohhh, they sure are scary, huh Twilight?"

"They sure are, Pinkie. I don't know how we'll manage to fend them off without~* PINKIE! Where the hoof have you been!?"

The bubbly party pony bounced behind a nearby vender cart and revealed three frightened looking fillies. They slowly emerged, dragging something behind them; a large, burlap bag with scorch marks around the sides with the name "PYRO" stitched in red on the main flap.

Pyra was next to Pinkie so fast that she seemed to teleport (which in hindsight would have probably been faster). "That's…that's Pyro's bag!" she exclaimed as her yellow eyes widened. "Where in Equestria did you find that?" Pinkie, still masquerading as the Pumpkin Queen, giggled as the fillies cowered behind her from Pyra's sudden appearance.

"Hmm-hmm! Well, after we beat that big meanie, the fillies here said that they found something shinny near the big crater. We went down there and found this…thingy! See, I told you guys they were good at scavenger hunts!"

Twilight and Pyra looked at one another with raised eyebrows of suspicion, but they decided that perusing the notion of exactly how Pinkie had managed to heft the deceptively heavy bag all the way up the Crystal Cave was a pointless endeavor and left it at that.

There was an eruption of light and flame that brought everything to a standstill. The Imp launched from where he had watched the events unfold through painful, blurry eyes and had seen enough: He was now determined to bring down all three bosses, and any pony that stood in his way. He didn't even think about how his actions might bring him closer to home. All he knew or cared about was that there were three foes that weren't dead. Yet…

"GUARDS! SEIZE HIM!"

"GUARDS! ASSIST THE NIGHT WATCH!"

The demonic phoenix plowed head-first into the swarm of guards massing before him, creating a living barrier between him and evil rulers. He flailed about, thrashing at any thing that got within striking distance, tossing guards and chunks of armor alike into the air.

The guards, although repulsed by the flying limbs at first, readjusted their plan of attack and were soon effortlessly dodging the Infernal Imp's mad swings as they performed hit-and-run maneuvers which forced the humanoid onto defense. One Night Watch pegasi managed to buck him square in the back of the head. The ringing was unbearable, he couldn't make out any of the blurs before him as his new golden lenses began to fog from the perspiration of straining his overtaxed body to it's limits and beyond.

He knew he wasn't going to win, but he sure as the fires of hell wasn't going down alone. He coupled his hands behind his back yet again as a raging fireball quickly formed betwixt his palms.

Silas swung his Headtaker forward like a general commanding his troops. "GUARDS! STOP HIM BEFORE HE CAN ATTACK AGAIN! ALL IS LOST IF HE GETS IN ANOTHER SHOT!"

The Royal Guards, having been unconscious during the first time, were suddenly outpaced by a flurry of Night Watch guards as they scrambled to snuff out a potentially catastrophic fire brewing in the Imp's hands.

The Imp tensed up, ready to fire once they all got bottlenecked right above-

"PYRO! Catch!" cried Pyra as she teleported something in a green flash over to him.

Thinking quickly, he transferred the entire Huddah-oken over to his left palm and extended his right hand out to receive whatever it was that Lyra was sending him. Another green flash and the Infernal Imp tightened his uncanny grip around the handle of…the Postal Pummeler.

The Imp stopped, he gazed across it's green shell over to the faded white numbers. The number of the house he had lived in, with his mom and dad, and baby brother. He remembered the picture stored safely within, untouched by all of the horrors he had been through. He remembered that day when it was taken, it was a picnic in the backyard a few months after his brother was born, and everyone was so happy as they laughed and ate good food.

He remembered the week that followed, a man had broken into his home and set it ablaze, he remembered waking up in the middle of the night coughing from smoke. He remembered running into his parent's and baby brother's room, only to see them burned alive as the roof caved in. He remembered crying, the tears stinging his face but not as much as the flames. He remembered crawling from the wreckage of his house alone and disfigured. He remembered how none of his neighbors would shelter such a "horrid little freak" in their expansive homes.

He remembered finding that man some years later, in a drunken stupor outside of a tavern. He remembered using the same bottle the man was drinking out of as a Molotov to turn him, and the surrounding city block to ash. He remembered the psych ward were they declared him mentally unfit to work within society, and the woman in purple who paid for his freedom.

He remembered meeting RED Team, and all of the glorious battles they fought together for the greater good (of their paychecks).

He remembered the accident that had teleported him through space/time into the magical land of Equestria, and meeting Lyra who showed him genuine kindness.

He remembered…that the Postal Pummeler hurts like crazy when applied directly to the forehead. *THWACK*

The Night Watch Guardspony's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he passed out, the sudden uppercut from the Imp had caught him off guard (ironically) after the Imp was motionless for so long and sent the stunned pony flying into the distance.

The Infernal Imp's horns began to fade, as did his tail, wings, and Huddah-oken that he had been building. They feel away like shards of glass that turned to ash upon hitting any physical object, weather that be the infamous red body suit or the cracked ground, until all that remained, was Pyro.

"Huddah? Murr mur mo mormurr? MMMPHMM!!!" He pumped his free hand into the air in triumph, he was free from the Infernal Imp's clutches! But now he was surrounded by hundreds of NIght Watch and Royal Guards…

Pyro felt bad; if they had had a few hundred more, they might have stood a chance.

Pyro reached into his belt and withdrew a silver disk that bore Dr. Grordbort's crest about the size of his hand and tossed it into the air. As it spun, it began to throw beams of light in all directions, slowly becoming a shaft of light itself. The shaft began to morph and contort until one end was flat with and coiled along the rim, a final burst of light and the strange item fell back into Pyro's waiting hand.

The metallic coil hummed as it glowed, illuminating the bright red body of the Third Degree; the final weapon in Dr. Grordbort's trio of futurist firepower. The axe wasn't made so much for cutting wood as much as it was made for cutting down BLUs with a white-hot metal coil that severely wounded it's victim and any unfortunate Medic that was healing him.

Pyro crossed them over his head. "MUPH! HMHMHMHM!"

Taking him up on his taunt, the hoard of guards washed over him and blocked him from view like a swarm of golden and purple locusts assaulting a wheat field. The guards continued to pile on. They sat still for a moment, satisfied of their victory, until the mound began to swell at the top.

A dull rumble made it's way up from the base of the pile-on, guards were knocked away left and right from the quaking. With a mighty battle muffle, Pyro burst forth, striking a triumphant pose before surfing down the shimmering gold and purple armored backs of the dazed guards towards the trifecta of evil.

More guards began to charge, the non-pegasi that hadn't been apart of the failed pony-pile had watched with evil glee, then evil satisfaction, then evil confusion, and were now moving more towards evil frustration as the human refused to yield.

"We've got you now! No matter how strong you may be, you can't resist unicorn mag- *HONK*" The frightfully confused guard tumbled into his brothers in hooves. He looked down to see that he had been covered in…in…"Is this, confetti?"

"YEP!" Smiled Pinkie Pie, who was now standing outside of her pumpkin costume that during the course of the battle had transformed into a mobile Party Cannon; armed with mounted confetti guns, and rotating gum ball launchers on either side. The pumpkin head sat on top, guiding the attacks when Pinkie Pie stepped away to do…whatever it is that Pinkie Pie does.

=====THEN THIS HAPPENED AGAIN=====

"Well, that's an easy question: I party!"

Yes, Pinkie. We know that. Now can we-

"I mean come ON! You've watched the show for HOW long now?

…a year?

"Oh. Really? Then how many times have you watched the episodes?"

A lot. Look, Pinkie, I need to get back to the story.

"Hmm? What story? *GASP* Are you telling a story!? I love stories! Which one is it?"

(Oh my God) Pinkie, please, I've had writer's block for weeks now I've finally got a good idea and I don't want to lose it. So, would you kindly-

"Wow! What's all this? Oh, hi Pinkie Pie."

"Hi Lyra! Oops, I mean; 'Pyra'. *giggle*"

Wait, WHAT? How'd you get in here? I thought- Darn it, Pinkie you left the door open again!

"Huddah?"

ALRIGHT THAT'S IT! MOVING ON!

=====STEADY DARRTAA, STEADY=====

The gum-launching gyroid cut through the sea of possessed ponies with amazing precision! Twilight couldn't help but wonder how Pinkie had managed to build such a contraption; it's aim was impeccable, the rate of fire was suppressing an entire company of guards with nothing more than gum balls, and it could fold back in on itself to allow Pinkie to WEAR it!

'Talk about dressed to kill,' thought Twilight.

All questions about the mysterious ways of Pinkie Pie aside, Twilight, the other Elements, and Pyra remained right behind the masked salamander as he cut a swath through the guards, the occasional *CLANG* ringing out with each connecting hit from the Postal Pummeler mixed with various yelps and screams from the Third Degree finding it's targets.

"I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, THIS ENDS NOW!" boomed Solar Flare as she took to the darkened skies. She shined brightly, not unlike her sun, as a spell began to take shape around her horn.

Pyro knew this wasn't going to end well. He gestured to the others to keep the guards occupied.

"But, Pyro…" Pyra started, "if we leave you, how will you be able to fight all three of them? I…I don't want to lose-"

A black glove came up in front of her muzzle, that slowly and calmingly went over her head and stroked her mint mane as he brought himself to her level. She could feel her eyes burning, she wasn't trying to hide her tears any longer. Droplets began to trickle from behind her Pyromancer's Mask, she couldn't stand losing the same friend twice.

Pyro really didn't know what to think, he had never seen someone, or in this case somepony, become so attached to another so quickly. Little did Pyro know that in this world friendship is magic, and can create powerful bonds almost instantly that can last lifetimes. The little ponies were known for making friends almost instantly and would stay good friends, rarely would two ponies hold grudges against one another that didn't last for a week at the most before making up and becoming better friends because of it.

Pyro put his ash-covered hand under Pyra's chin and raised her head so she looked right into his smoke glass eyes. "I have to do this, it's the only way" they seemed to say.

She nodded. "Just…come back in one piece, alright?" she said softly, choking back tears and giving the best smile she could. He made the first move and wrapped her up in a hug, she couldn't believe how warm he was. After a moment, Pyro stood and picked up the Third Degree that he had dropped when he was confronting Lyra. He turned back towards Solar Flare, who at this point had finished charging her enchantment and was ready to fire.

"HAHAHA! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW FIREPROOF YOU CLAIM TO BE, NOT EVEN YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE FULL POWER OF THE SUN!"

With that, she summoned a gargantuan pillar of fire that rocketed toward the RED burn ward. He turned around to Pyra and pointed towards the direction of where Solar Flare was hovering.

"One rapid elevator, coming up!" she said as the Splendid Screen propelled her forward and slammed into Pyro's back, launching him directly into the fiery column.

Pyro held the Postal Pummeler out in front of him while allowing his left arm and Third Degree to rest at his side as he flew through the air. He collided with the magical flames and felt the immense heat actually starting to melt his suit. For one of the first times in his life, he could actually feel the beads of sweat run down his singed skin from the heat. His goggles where beginning to fog from the perspiration as well, but was evaporated almost as soon as it left his body's pores and made contact with the glass. He maintained focus, he had to endure for his plan to work, and judging by the red crackling energy that was emitting from the Pummeler, it was working just fine.

The entire RED team had asked Pyro about the Postal Pummeler when he first started using it. While it may have just been an ordinary mailbox at one point in time, it possessed an interesting ability; to perform Critical Hits on burning opponents.

Pyro shot through the towering inferno, much to everypony's surprise, and made contact with the Pummeler and Solar Flare's fiery mane:

CRITICAL HIT!

Solar plowed back into the earth next to Nightmare and the HHH with a thunderous crash, the former in utter shock while the later was indifferent. Silas knew that wasn't going to work, using fire against Pyro was a poor strategy if there ever was one, but he figured that Solar was going to learn that one way or another.

Pyra caught Pyro with her magic and created a buffer so he wouldn't be injured by his fall. He gave her a thumbs up in thanks before snapping back to the two remaining evil doers.

The Horseless Headless Horseman chuckled, he aimed the Headtaker where Solar had fallen and shot a jolt of magic into the smoldering crater. Solar Flare slowly emerged from its depths, not a scratch nor a hair out of place.

"NOW DO YOU SEE, PYRO? YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF STOPPING US. JUST GIVE UP, AND MAYBE I'LL MAKE IT QU- *SHINK* GRAH!"

The HHH was interrupted from his rant as ambassador Third Degree took the floor by lodging himself into the side of Senator Horseless H. Horseman's orange cranium. Silas roared, he had had enough. No longer caring if Equestria was destroyed in the process, he rounded up Nightmare and Solar for one final spell. As their regal horns and Headtaker charged, the magic either sister had been using to manipulate the guards faded away and the guards slowly began to regain control of their own thoughts; and right now, all their thoughts were telling them to flee as fast as they could.

With the panicking pony patrollers dispersing, the Elements (and Pyra) stood unopposed and rushed to Pyro's aid. The three dark embodiments all focused their power onto the Headtaker, which cackled as it attained full power.

"NOW YOU DIE!"

Three different streams coiled together to form a sinister snake of pure evil that streaked right towards the friendly firebug. As Pyra and the others finally made it, they saw Pyro; unfaltering in his resolve to protect those who had shown him such kindness.

"PYRO! What're you doing!? RUN!" screamed Pyra.

Pyro turned away from the oncoming stream of death and locked eyes with Lyra from beneath both of their masks. He wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, that he would see her after this was over, or at least again soon. But he could not. He dropped the Pummeler, he didn't know if death here was permanent, and he wouldn't be the one who would suffer for it. He knew that dying here would be the most selfish thing he'd ever done…but was it avoidable? He certainly hoped so.

As the deathly beam was about to collide with the fire conjuror, he wheeled around and caught the blast with both hands, splashing the extra energy like a garden hose turned on full. He started to slide back inch by inch as the terrifying trio continued to pour it on.

"Come on girls! We have to help him!" shouted Fluttershy, much to the surprise of everypony else. "Oops, was that too loud? I'm sorry…but we really should, um, help him…" she trailed off.

"Fluttershy's right!" announced Twilight! "Let's put a stop to this; together!"

As she finished speaking, Twilight's eyes began to glow and the Elements rose high into the sky. Lyra could do little but stand in awe of the spectacle before her, she had only seen the Elements in action once, and that was from a distance when they put down Discord (not to mention the large ear of corn that she had been fighting at the time had demanded her full attention). The golden necklaces and Twilight's crown cast a protective bubble around the Mane 6 as they too focused their power and launched the Harmony Beam at the three lords of chaos.

But the actual Elements had other plans.

Instead of clashing with the dark energy Pyro was struggling to counter, or even going after the ones attacking him, the rainbow Harmony Beam struck Pyro. He began to tremble as the Elements washed over his being, and stopped him from sliding back any further than he had already been. His body glowed like molten red steel as his eyes flashed like yellow beacons. He grabbed hold of the darkness that had assailed him and coupled his hands behind his back in one fluid motion. The Elements purified what energy he captured betwixt his palms and it soon became a spiraling ball of rainbow-colored energy.

Pyro thrust his hands forward with all his might, crying out as he did so:

"HUDDAHUH!!!!!"

The rainbow energy shot forth and clashed violently with the darkness of the three Elements of Chaos. They struggled to maintain enough power to keep the beam at bay, and soon faltered. The Harmony-charged Rainbow Über Huddah-oken washed over them like a tidal wave crashing over a stone. Nightmare Moon, Solar Flare and the Horseless Headless Horseman all reeled back at the overwhelming force of the magic of friendship that had first brought the Elements together. Solar Flare and Nightmare Moon both began to revert back into the beautiful Princess Celestia and the regal Princess Luna within the beam, Silas however, was worse for wear. Attempting to block the power of Harmony, he had used the Headtaker as a shield and despite the massive cracks that were forming all around it, he was still standing. As the rainbow beam continued to pass over him, the Third Degree (that was still lodged firmly in his pumpkin noggin) started to throw off jolts of red energy, not like the Postal Pummeler had been earlier, but not unlike what the Pomson 6000 did when Pyro was first sent to Equestria.

Just as before, the Third Degree cracked and released lights as it rose into the air. It became engulfed by the strange light and folded in on itself with an alarming crunch, creating another energy ball. Silas paid no attention, he hadn't even noticed that the space axe was no longed a part of his head. The ball grew in size, feeding off of the two forces in conflict; the evil of the Headtaker and the purity of the Elements of Harmony.

Pyro couldn't tell for sure how long the orb would stay before disappearing. He disengaged the Über Huddah-oken, grabbed his Postal Pummeler, and ran for the HHH. Silas, smoldering and covered in magical burns that would have killed a mortal, lowered the Headtaker from his face and had it quickly replaced with a green mailbox. He stumbled back, his cape fluttering towards the energy orb. Silas turned to see the throbbing ball mere feet from where he was standing.

"SO THAT'S YOUR PLAN IS IT? YOU PLAN TO FORCE ME BACK INTO THE VOID? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE THIS THING COULD DUMP US!? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" he said with a hint of desperation in ghostly voice.

Pyro took a look at the spherical portal. The HHH was right, he didn't know for sure what would happen…but he couldn't let this monster run rampant where he could hurt Lyra! With a final burst of strength, Pyro slammed the aged mailbox into the Headtaker and shattered the infernal implement. The pieces all fell back into the portal, which was now a powerful vacuum that drew in both Pyro and Silas.

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo…"

The orb shot into the air and erupted into a myriad of colorful fireworks as a strange message appeared in the air.

The Horseless Headless Horseman has been defeated!

Press [K] to REMOVE.

The crowd of ponies erupted into cheers and other forms of rejoicing that rang out in the entire kingdom of Canterlot and all of Equestria. Twilight and the others rushed over to help Celestia and Luna, who looked a little…different.

"Um, Princess Celestia? Are you felling okay?" meeped Fluttershy.

"Y-Yes, I'm fine. But, being in the snare of Silas' magic is not an experience I hope to repeat."

"Yes, but what about your chevelure?" asked Rarity, which to her was the most important question.

"My…my mane? Oh my…" said Celestia as an all-pink lock of her mane billowed past her eyes. Her mane, in fact, no longer billowed, but was blown past her face by a natural gust. Celestia stood, and found that she only slightly taller than her most faithful student. Luna also looked a little different, she looked almost exactly like she had when the Elements first freed her from the clutches of Nightmare Moon. Her stardust mane was much sorter and a grayish light blue, and much like like her elder sister's, was now completely stationary.

"Great, you wouldn't believe how long it took for me to get my mane back to normal last time…I'll help you with yours, Tia." said Luna using a piece of shattered glass as a mirror.

As the Royal Pony Sisters and the Elements of Harmony shared a good laugh Lyra sat at the mouth of the crater where Pyro had forced the HHH into the vast unknown. She noticed that Pyro's backpack had disappeared, and yet, her Pyromancer's Mask and Splendid Screen were still on her body.

She didn't know what emotion she should adopt. She had never lost a friend twice before. A smile slowly crept across features. She hadn't really lost him, maybe for the time being, but not for an eternity. She could feel Pyro still out there, somewhere…and after all, she had his mask. He'd be back.

=====2 DAYS LATER=====

Life had returned to normal in the once again peaceful land of Equestria. Celestia and Luna both still looked the way they did, but after multiple press interviews and public statements, they had managed to convince everypony who wasn't in the fashion world that they would return to normal with time. The Royal Masons had gotten to work on rebuilding the massive damage done to the courtyard (namely the staggering amount of craters that dotted the landscape), and Luna had paid a special visit to Derpy and Dinky while Derpy recovered from her injuries at the hooves of Equestria's finest. The Elements' lives returned to normal as well, probably faster than everypony else's since things like that tended to happen to them on a more frequent bases.

Lyra's life had gotten back into the flow of things, but nowhere near "normal". She had been honored as a hero and had been given a seat in a parade commemorating the defeat of Nightmare Moon, Solar Flare, and the Horseless Headless Horseman, and when she finally got back to Ponyville, she was given one of the biggest parties Pinkie Pie had ever thrown along with a massive scavenger hunt.

That was all yesterday, today had been much more mellow. Lyra had woken up to a normal start around nine and was now waiting for Bonbon so they could finally have their shopping trip. A knock on her front doors signaled her friend's arrival.

Lyra trotted happily over to the door and stopped, this could be a trap, the CMC might be with her again.

"Bonbon? Is that you?"

"…yes?"

"Are you alone?"

"Wha?"

"Are. You. Alone?"

"Well, that depends; are there any human para-dimensional fire-starters hiding out in your spare room?"

"Touché, so are you alone? No CMC?"

"No, Lyra, now open the door already! I want to get to the mall before it gets too crowded."

Lyra opened the door cautiously, but Bonbon was true to her word, all that stood at her doorstep was the cream colored mare with a questioning look on her face.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine…oh apples! Look at the time! Let's hurry!"

With that, the two mares galloped out of Lyra's modest house. As she slammed the door behind her, some of the decorations in her living room shook slightly. Namely, a bronze shield that sat on her table and a painted cow skull that hung over her mantle.

THE END

(Until I get the epilogue written up)

Chapter 10: Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

Death, it's not what most expect. Most assume that death means slipping out of conscience, being transported to paradise, reincarnation, or even eternal damnation. But all these people are wrong.

To someone who has been in death's icy grip more times then he can remember, Pyro had lost his fear of the reaper many a year ago thanks to repetition and Dell Conagher's revolutionary Respawn Room which had never failed to bring him back from the brink, no matter how scattered his remains may have previously been.

As it turns out, when an entity dies, it releases a burst of ectoplasm (or a "soul" in non-scientific terms). The soul remains in the area where it's body expired and will stay on location for next three hours before…well, no one really knows. The reason why is because Dell "Engineer" Conagher created a machine (based off another one of his grandfather's inventions) that could instantly tag and then later capture said spirit and transport it back to the machine within a certain radius.

The ectoplasm, which contains a sort of blueprint for what it was in life, is bombarded with energy and transforms into a "snapshot" of the entity moments before death, clothes and all. This was the technology that allowed RED and BLU to fight tirelessly while sustaining fatal injuries only to be brought back in a matter of seconds.

It is in this twilight period that the ghost floats aimlessly before the Respawn Device gets ahold of it that the spirit is able to reflect on it's life, or how it's going to beat the living hell out of whosoever killed it last in the case of RED and/or BLU.

Pyro was defiantly in the void, that much was clear…but it wasn't the same void.

The void, normally a blaring white bloom that encompasses one's entire being a luke-warm sensation, was now a scattered and random patch of chaos in the fabric of reality. Shards of glass-like matter drifted about as if they were submerged in water that distorted whatever could be seen through them like a kaleidoscope, with sparks of random energy bouncing wildly about off invisible orbs in an otherwise crushing darkness.

It is here that Pyro finds himself, it is here that Pyro finds himself not as he once was. After taking in his mind-bending surroundings, Pyro stood on an unidentifiable surface, rubbing his throbbing head and looking in the direction he could only assume was "up". A pang of sudden realization washed over him: this may be it. He knew that throwing himself and the Horseless Headless Horseman into the void had no guaranty that he would respawn back in his own universe, or at all for that matter.

That was not his top priority at the moment, as his attempt at exploration ended abruptly when he tripped and began to drift slowly in the direction he had been heading. After colliding with another chunk of "floor" that completely disoriented him from what he thought was up or down, he checked to see what had made him trip.

What he found was even more strange than the plain of existence he had awoken in. Namely, that he had tripped over the dirty white shoelaces to his small sneakers. He had also scuffed up his knee that was not protected from the fall by his red shorts, nor was his elbow by his white and red stripped T-shirt.

"Uh-oh…"

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"I love them," said Lyra, and although she truly did adore the dresses Rarity had made for her and the other two bridesmaids, the look Princess Mi Amore Cadenza (as she preferred to be called) was giving her told Lyra otherwise.

"Make them a different color," said the irritated Princess as she turned to leave. Lyra, Minuette, and Twinkleshine followed suit. Lyra wanted to thank Rarity for the dress, but her fear of keeping the already agitated alicorn waiting on her alone stopped her from saying a single word to the fashonista who was already busying herself with altering her creations.

As the three bridesmaids made their way down the spiraling staircase on the outside of the turret that Rarity and Twilight resided, Lyra waited for the Princess to dismiss them before addressing the other two mares.

"Hey, does the Princess seem…off to you two? I always heard that Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was a kind-hearted mare that spread love wherever she went, not an overly-demanding snob."

Twinkleshine gasped, "LYRA! How could say something so mean about the Princess? Sure, she may be on edge; but it's her WEDDING!"

"Yeah," interjected Minuette, "I mean, how calm and collected would you be if this were your wedding, hmm?"

Lyra opened her mouth to defend herself, but no words left her mouth. They were right; she didn't know what types of stress she must be going through in order to coordinate ALL of Canterlot for a single wedding!

Now that she thought about it, those dresses could use a bit of a color change. Her coat and mane really didn't match her gown, unlike Minuette's coat and her outfit. Lyra silently cursed her and looks, she looked almost exactly Colgate (other than her Cutie Mark) which meant her coat naturally complemented her dress, and Minuette's coat went well with darn near everything. That didn't bother her so much as the fact that they both FIT in their dresses perfectly.

'Lucky. I haven't had a chance to hit the gym ever since-' Lyra's train of thought, no matter where it was going originally, was now cruising back through her memories of the past few weeks. 'Actually, I really haven't been out all that much since the incident at the last Nightmare Night…shoot, I haven't been back here since then either.'

"Lyra? Yoo-woo, you there? C'mon, we're going be late if we don't get some dinner now before we meet back up with the Princess," said Twinkleshine as she tilted her head, her pink mane bobbed ever so slightly across her goldish-grey coat.

"Huh? Oh that's right! Let's go, I'm starving."

"Me too," added Minuette. As the trio headed off down the street, every reflective surface they past glowed with a purple hue of Shining Armor's protective shield spell that surged as it's caster added on another layer to the magic orb that cradled Canterlot within it's confines. It was impervious to all forms of bombardment, be it physical or magic-based, as long as Shining Armor continued to pour more and more power into it, his wedding to Princess Cadenza would go according to plan.

But, who's plan?

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"Stay calm. Don't, panic."

"Yes, the trick is to not-"

"AAAAAAHHH! WHO SAID THAT!?"

"Me, now listen I-"

"AAAAAAHHH! WHO ARE YOU!?"

"Silas Mann! Would you plea-"

"OH MY GOD, IT'S THE HHH! AAA-*Ker-smack*" The small boy stopped his ear-shattering cries as an aged hand made forceful contact with his freckled cheek. The boy didn't cry, he had sustained much worse injuries in his adult life than to whimper at such a feeble hit.

He looked up at the thin man rubbing his hand; his white, receding hair traveled down the back of his neck into a stylish curl just above a ruffled neckerchief. He wore a long black coat that could be seen in any vintage amish swimwear catalogue with matching slacks and shoes. His eye were sunken and tired, like one who had watched the sun set too many times.

"Hmph, I liked you better when you were a mumbling pyromaniac," he said still massaging his hand.

"Give me a catchy tune to hum and my lighter and I'll fix that." The boy gave a creepy smile as his perception of what direction was "up" changed yet again as the slender man now stood at a forty five degree angle. "Where are we anyway? This isn't the void, is it?"

Pyro still couldn't get over how shrill and annoying his voice was, no wonder Mann had slapped him.

"It's a part of the void, I know of the section you're referring to and this," he chuckled slightly, "this is nothing like that."

"Oh really? Care to explain why I no longer have pubes while yours are growing out the back of your neck?"

Silas gave him a dirty look as he rubbed the back of his neck…for no reason in particular. "Cute. I assume you're referring as to why we have taken on these forms," he said in the same manner a teacher may speak to the slowest reader of the class.

"You assume correctly, tinderbox."

"'The void' as you call it is a place where a soul travels after it leaves it's dead body. This is where the more…unsavory of spirits end up; it's wild, chaotic, and oh-so drab." He glanced around as a bolt of energy crashed into another invisible orb, this time shattering it into the glass-like shards that could be seen drifting lazily about. "All I know is that this section of space is rather artistic, but it doesn't know how to read, so to speak."

"Huh?" stammered the childish Pyro as he rotated again so he was now completely upside down from Silas' perspective.

"You mean you didn't know?" Silas smirked with a sense of superiority, "Didn't little Conagher Jr. tell you how you manage to stave off death on a daily basis?"

"Of course he did. I just don't care to explain it to the likes of you," he said sticking out his tongue for added effect. It's not like he could really explain it very well anyway, honestly, he thought that the only other person who might have understood what that contraption did was Medic, maybe Spy.

But their jobs revolved around knowing things, Pyro's didn't. The only thing he really needed to know was how to maintain his weapons and how to track down Spies.

"Instead of reading our souls' blueprint, and making us an image of ourselves moments before death," he withdrew and old picture from his coat pocket of a family gathering right before his brother, Zepheniah, had died. "It makes our appearances based off what we want to look like, or from our happiest memory. Individually, of course. If it were collective then I'd be set ablaze while you would be missing nine pounds of ugly fat from atop your neck…"

Pyro couldn't argue with that, only Silas was missing the part where Pyro puts all of his nice, sharp axes into his pumpkin head after he removed it from the torso and mounted it on his mantle.

"So, we won't stay like this?"

Silas looked as if though he was going to say some wise-ass remark when his features dropped and took a more serious look. "Sadly no, if we ever return to our respective plain of existence," a shard of matter floated between him and Pyro, "WE WILL RETURN TO OUR PREVIOUS FORMS," said the Horseless Headless Horseman.

"Murr murph mruh," said Pyro through his gas mask. As the large shard pasted by and continued on it's way through oblivion, so too did the images of the rubber-clad arsonist and the terrifying Horseman, leaving Silas Mann and a prepubescent pyromaniac standing face to face.

"Damn those shards, certainly bring out the worst in us, don't they?"

==========================================================

Lyra trotted about in front of the large mirror in her suite, her altered bridesmaid's dress twirling about as she swayed from side to side.

'Not too shabby. Rarity really outdid herself with such a short time she had to work,' thought Lyra.

The wedding was only a day away, and everypony was giddy with excitement with thoughts of wedding bells and dancing (or in Spike's case, attempting to wrap his mind around what exactly a "bachelor party" was).

Everypony except Lyra; she just couldn't shake the feeling that she had forgotten something over the past couple of days since she had been in Canterlot, it had something to do with last Nightmare Night. But what the hay was it!?

"Oh! Of course, silly me. I need to get my mane done."

After a few hours in the salon and one hot mane style later, Lyra walked happily down the street on her way to meet up with Bonbon, who she hadn't seen much of since she was chosen to be on of the Royal Bridesmaids.

As she rounded a corner, she spotted a grey earth pony wandering about near the alley. Normally Lyra wouldn't think twice about it unless it was a cute stallion, but when a non-magical earth pony is suddenly engulfed by a throbbing green light, she took notice.

As the light faded, the earth mare was replaced by a tall, crimson pegasus that shot off into the wild blue yonder back towards the castle, leaving Lyra standing in the middle of the road with her jaw inches above her hooves.

"What in the name of Tartarus was THAT!?" Lyra thought about chasing after the shady shape-shifter when a gurgle from her hungry belly reminded her that she was indeed meeting Bonbon for a reason. 'I have been blowing her off lately, and I am hungry…it must be all the stress of the wedding finally getting to me. I'll bet that the shadows from the alley hid his true colors and his wings. The green light must have been-'

"What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be getting ready?" Lyra jumped almost as hard as her poor heart. She spun around into a hasty and awkward bow as she came face to face with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and her carriage, followed closely by a complement of Shining Armor's best soldiers.

"P-P-Princess! What d-do I owe the honor?" Lyra said nervously, she could already tell that the Princess wasn't in a good mood.

"I was just checking up on the cake that dim-witted farmer is whipping up when I see one of my hoof-picked bridesmaids standing in the middle of the road like a mule!" There was a slight hiss at the end of her sentence that made Lyra flinch.

"I-I-I-I'm sorry, P-P-Princess…I saw somepony in the alley get covered in a green flash, and suddenly turned into a red pegasus!" Lyra was having trouble keeping her head bowed while trying to explain what had transpired. Had she been locking eyes with the startled Princess, she might have caught the tint of green that flashed across her eyes.

"Oh no! Poor dear, you must be so stressed by the wedding that you're seeing things!" said Princess Cadenza in a complete one-eighty mood change. "Here, this should help…"

With that, the Princess' horn glowed a sickly green and tapped it against Lyra's. Lyra never made it to lunch with Bonbon, the last anypony saw of her was her hopping into the carriage next to Minuette and Twinkleshine, both of whom were sporting glowing emerald eyes, before the carriage door closed shut and carried on it's way toward the castle.

"Tomorrow is going to be perfect," said Princess Cadenza as she chuckled to herself.

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They say that it's always quiet before the storm. If that were true, then hurricane "Screw It Let's Hit Florida Again" must have been preparing to knock the state off the face of the planet judging by how silent Pyro and Silas had become.

After their previous conversation, Silas had gone off to search for something, most likely his beloved Headtaker if Pyro's thinking was correct. He had wandered a ways before finally settling down and began to fidget with something Pyro couldn't see from his angle.

The occasional shard that past by would portray Silas as the pumpkin-headed giant, before drifting off and revealing the feeble old man he truly was…or was it the other way around. A smaller piece of glass floated up by Pyro. Holding it still with one of his grubby hands, he placed one of his scrawny arms on the other side, only to have it appear as a black glove leading up to a red sleeve.

He pulled back. This place would drive him mad if he stayed there for much longer. How long had he been trapped anyway? An hour? A day? He had lost track awhile ago and Silas wasn't offering any help, he just kept fiddling with something he had found over yonder, only opening his mouth to yawn or mutter a curse.

Pyro had always been curious, it was one of the many things that was so great about his job; finding out what burns and at what temperatures. Right now, his curiosity turned away from flames for a brief moment and focused on whatever it was that the old man/demonic lumberjack found so enticing over in his little corner of subspace.

Pyro jumped in the new direction of up and landed sideways a few yards above Silas. He crept along carefully, using every stealthy trick he had caught Spies using over the years until he was directly above him. He gazed down at what was so darn interesting…

"Oh sh-" Pyro slammed onto the same invisible surface Silas had been sitting on as a tremor shook him from his perch.

He quickly got to his feet, nearly tripping over one of his untied shoelaces. Pyro looked up at Silas, and up, and up.

"HEADSSS!"

"YES, IN DUE TIME, BUT I WANT TO MINCE THIS LITTLE ABOMINATION FIRST!" The Headtaker swooshed through the void, obliterating an orb and sending razor shards in all directions.

"How…how did you…?"

"HOW DID I BECOME THIS ABOMINATION AGAIN? EASY; WHEN YOU SHATTERED MY HEADTAKER, THE REMNANTS FOLLOWED ME HERE INTO THE VOID, WHERE IT WAS ORIGINALLY FORGED. HEH, WHERE DO YOU THINK I FOUND A WEAPON SUCH AS THIS!?"

Pyro shifted away from the beast as he let loose a thunderous laugh. THAT'S what he had been doing! He must've found the pieces of the Headtaker and was assembling them this whole time while Pyro was…was…well, picking his nose (something that hadn't been done in years), but he didn't know that he might have to contend with the HHH in the form of his unarmed, seven-year-old self!

"WHEN I FIRST DIED SHORTLY AFTER MY BROTHER, I WAS SENT HERE…A CRUSHING DARKNESS THAT WENT ON FOREVER, IT WAS MADDENING!" He clenched his fist in a ball of rage at the thought of his over-privileged brother getting to live out the rest of eternity someplace else.

"AS THE YEARS DRAGGED ON, I BEGAN TO NOTICE, MUCH AS YOU SEEM TO HAVE DISCOVERED, THAT THESE SHARDS SHOW THINGS AS THEY TRULY ARE," growled Silas as another shard passed in front of Pyro, this time the ghastly figure before him did not waver in appearance.

"ONE DAY, I LOOKED INTO ONE OF THESE SHARDS AND SAW MY ARM, BARE BONE AND WHITE AS FRESHLY FALLEN SNOW, HOLDING THIS GIGANTIC WEAPON. I REACHED OUT FOR IT, AND FOUND MYSELF TRANSFORMED INTO THIS CREATURE YOU SEE BEFORE YOU."

The Horseless Headless Horseman lumbered towards the brave child crouching down before him, crystalline cracks forming beneath his massive boots that rapidly spread throughout reality but didn't cause any further damage that could be observed.

"TIME TO DIE!" Pyro rolled out of the way as the Headtaker tore through the fabric of reality. The enraged lunatic continued to randomly destroy anything and everything in his path in pursuit of the age-defying Pyro until after multiple twists and turns (and changes in gravity) the HHH finally lost track of the little spitfire.

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"You're not going anywhere!" said the three voices simultaneously as they echoed all throughout the Crystal Caverns. Minuette, Twinkleshine, and Lyra, dressed head to hoof in full wedding regalia with glowing green eyes, stood between Princess Cadenza and Twilight Sparkle…on Princess Cadenza's orders.

If fact, the disheveled Princess of Love that stood shakily before them had never even met her own hoof-picked bridesmaids until now. She had been trapped by a perfect copy of herself in these very caves for the past week until Twilight had inadvertently saved her. The Princess that had been organizing the wedding all this time was in fact not a Princess at all, for she was already a Queen.

Queen Chrysalis, once thought lost to the dusty textbooks of the Royal Library, was the ruler of a rare species known as the Changelings; parasitic, hive-minded creatures that take the forms of other ponies and feed off the love of those closest to their new identity.

In this case, Queen Chrysalis had managed to body-snatch Princess Cadance when she attempted to secretly leave a bakery she had nearly cleaned out during a pre-nuptials stress binge (this fateful overindulgence supplied her with enough fa- energy, to survive as long as she did in the caves).

With Chrysalis in place, she fed off Shining Armor's unrelenting love and slowly brainwashed him into becoming her puppet. She later sent a threat to Celestia of an impending attack on Canterlot during the wedding, with all those ponies in one place and Shining Armor's shield spell blocking any sort of sensor spell that might have detected her troop's movements, conquering Equestria was going to be mere foal's play! If it weren't for Shining's meddling little sister, Twilight Sparkle.

While Queen Chrysalis had been able to masquerade as Princess Cadance well enough to fool the ponies she needed to, she had no idea what to do when Twilight revealed that Cadance was Twilight's foalsitter. It was Chrysalis' actions and behavior that betrayed her to the young unicorn scholar, acting quickly, she managed to turn things around on Twilight until she began to doubt herself into thinking the Queen of the Changelings was the true Princess of Love.

Having been trapped far below Canterlot in the Crystal Caves by Chrysalis, Twilight discovered the genuine Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, where the two began to escape. At the mouth of the exit back to the surface, the two captive mares were halted abruptly by a trio of brainwashed bridesmaids.

Which brings us back to where we left Princess Cadance and Twilight Sparkle…

As the elegant drones closed in on the two mares, Cadance was struck with an idea; no matter how brainwashed they were, they were still duty-bound bridesmaids. Which meant…

Candance (seemingly from nowhere) withdrew a beautiful bouquet and dangled it before the emerald eyes of her attackers. They froze, transfixed on the flowers levitating just out of reach as they followed it's every movement until it was cast down one of the many abandoned mine shafts, promoting Minuette, Twinkleshine, and Lyra to dive after it while Twilight and Candance made their way to the surface to stop the wedding.

"It's mine!"

"I want it!"

"No, give it!"

Completely ignoring the jagged edges of the cavern, the mares fought and tumbled down the shaft for a few moments before they spilled out into a large opening.

"Gah! Twinkleshine! You ruined the flowers! Now none of us will EVER get married!" said an enraged Minuette, her eyes still glowing from Chrysalis' mind-control.

"It wasn't me," started Twinkleshine, dusting of her dress that had somehow managed to remain unscratched throughout her ordeal. "It was Lyra! She was the one who landed on it!"

"WHAT!? The only reason I landed on it was because you knocked me over with your big, clumsy hooves!"

The bickering continued for a short time, neither party wanting to assume responsibility for the damaged goods and attempting to blame-shift onto somepony else while adding in an insult or two for good measure.

"Wait, why are we still fighting over these smashed flowers? Queen Chrysalis still has to throw hers! We can still catch that one after she takes over Equestria!" Minuette said happily.

"You mean so I can still catch it in time," snorted Twinkleshine as she bolted out towards the exit, "first one there gets the best spot!"

"HAY! No fair!" shouted Minuette as she took flight after rival. Lyra too was about to give chase when a twinkling caught her glowing eyes. There, lying chipped and cracked a few feet away, was the Last Breath adorned with an Unusual Waxy Wayfinder.

"P-Pyro…?"

==========================================================

"I KNOW YOU'RE STILL HERE, I CAN SMELL YOUR FEAR," echoed the Horseman as he trudged about subspace in search of the itsy-bitsy Pyro, who had managed to stay hovering above Silas and out of sight.

'Damn this stress-gas, one more rip like that and I'm done for!' thought Pyro. Normally his nervous gas attacks would be masked by his suit and/or the smell of burning, but here in the void, there wasn't a can of air freshener in sight.

As Pyro continued his fatal game of hide-and-seek, a peculiar glass shard floated before him. Unlike all the others he had encountered, this one was reflective, and showed the seven-year-old firebug his adult self; clad head to toe in red, asbestos-lined rubber with black boots and gloves, topped off with a grenade belt that held his silver propane tank. The soulless goggles starring back at him gave him slight chills, he really WAS terrifying.

The classic loadout he had used for so many years…but in his hand rested the Postal Pummeler, a relatively newer weapon that Mann Co. had recovered for him from the remains of his childhood home (the new owners had resisted at first, but it's amazing what an eight foot tall Australian can achieve with a single pile-driver).

'Why the Pummeler? Why not something more effective like the Volcano Fragment or the Backburner?' Then it dawned on him; Silas had the picture of himself in his pocket that the void used to form him, that means the Pummeler had also made it here along with the picture inside!

He reached out for his reflection, and to his surprise, could actually feel the splintering wood on the Pummeler's handle. Energy lashed out from Pyro's physical contact, sending bolt after bolt in all directions. The Horseless Headless Horseman would have had to be deaf and blind to have missed it, and quickly turned towards the light show.

With a mighty hop, skip, and jump, the Horseman flew through the air and utterly demolished the mirror. But Pyro was nowhere in sight.

"WAS THAT IT? IS HE SLAIN?" He felt something brush against his shoulder, but it wasn't so much a brush as it was a tap. Foolishly, he turned to see what it was-

"Murr murph," was the last thing the HHH heard before a regulation U.S. postal container slammed into temple. The rubbery maniac wielding said impromptu melee weapon laughed from behind his gas mask. Pyro had indeed returned, and a familiar computerized voice acknowledged him as well.

SUBJECT: PYRO
TEAM DESIGNATION: RELIABLE EXCAVATION DEMOLITION
LOADOUT: B
CURRENT LOCATION: VOID, UNKNOWN SECTOR
RESPAWN TIME: IMMINENT

Pyro felt the invisible net of the Engineer's Respawn Room tug him back towards reality. Before he vanished completely, he looked the towering monster straight in the eye, and flipped him the biggest double bird anyone would ever receive in the history of bird-flipping.

With that rude gesture, he was gone, warped back to the land of the living, leaving Silas alone in the void.

"JUST YOU WAIT, PYRO. I'M NOT THE ONLY HALLOWEEN HORROR THAT WANTS YOU DEAD…"

***

The white bloom, the real void. Pyro had finally retu-*SLAP*

"Pyro! Pyro, dammit, wake up boy!" said a concerned voice with a heavy Texas accent. Pyro blinked a few times before realizing that the heavenly light he had been starring into was actually the flickering florescent lightbulb inside of RED Spawn. Pyro sat up, his entire team stood huddled around him as the Medic sat crouched at his side checking his pulse.

"Murdc? Murnhurnr? Huddha hurr?" muffled Pyro, his head pounding like a sandvich two obese Heavies had been fighting over.

"Ach, good. You're awake. I vas starting zink zat maybe we had lost you, mein friend," said the exhausted German as patted Pyro on the shoulder and sat down on the bench, he had obviously been trying for who knows how long to revive Pyro.

"Yeah kid," said Dell, who had also been kneeling down next to Pyro while the Medic had been working, "Ah saw you get sucked inta that vortex and assumed the worst, glad Ah was wrong. We lost track of ya fer a good half-hour before Spy found ya lying in here after the round ended."

"Murr…Huh? HURM-HUDUR!?" A half HOUR!? No, that was impossible! He had been in Equestria for at least three DAYS! Had…Had it all been a dream? Had he simply died in the vortex and just got lost in the void up till now? Was Lyra and all the other little ponies just a figment of his, admittedly strange, imagination?

With Pyro given a "meh" bill of health by the Medic, the rest of the team dispersed to their own devices, leaving a battered and confused Pyro alone with his thoughts. It probably would have been better if Pyro's thoughts didn't revolve around the strong possibility that the past three days and all the friends he had made were imaginary, or this irritating pinching around his left ring finger.

Pyro looked down at where the irritation was manifesting and saw a bulge coming from under his glove. Making sure no one else was in sight, he slowly removed his jet-black glove…

==========================================================

Lyra, her eyes returning to their natural yellow, gazed down at the cracked human skull and began to cry. She had forgotten something much more important than to get her mane done; she had nearly forgotten all about the only human friend she had ever made.

How could se have been so stupid!? How could she have…wait, wait. She wasn't the only pony who had forgotten. Bonbon hadn't brought up the subject in weeks, and none of the Mane 6 had mentioned anything to her either!

What Lyra didn't know was that since Pyro was never meant to exist in this universe, Celestia had cast a spell that slowly erased Pyro and the Horseless Headless Horseman from the memories of everypony (except the Mane 6) to ease the fact they all might have been decapitated or eaten that fateful night. But with the mere sight of Pyro's discarded headgear, everything Lyra had forgotten over the past month came flooding back to her.

"Oh…I'm…I'm so sorry, Pyro! I didn't mean…I didn't mean to…" She stopped, there was something hanging loosely off to the side under the Last Breath's teeth; a rolled up piece of paper with a small, purple box attached. Lyra picked up the box in her hooves and unrolled the paper with her magic. The note read:

Lyra;

I don't know how long I might have here in Equestria, so I'll try to make this brief. You are one of the only friends that I have ever had the pleasure of making, and I can't thank you enough.
As I write this, I have become a horrendous creature known as the Infernal Imp. I wish I could tell you not to be afraid, but I can feel my memory beginning to fade. I don't know if I'll survive this encounter with the HHH, or if I'll ever make it back to my own universe again, but I want you to have this to remember me by.

Love, Pyro.

Lyra wiped away a tear as she turned her attention to the box she held in her hoof. She carefully opened it and gasped at what she saw; a golden ring with a large diamond embedded in it.

The rock was flawless and shown brightly by the faint glow of her magic still encompassing the letter. Tied to the base of the ring was a name tag, that read;

Best Friends Forever

Lyra slid the beautiful ring from it's resting place and placed it around her horn. It felt warm, just like the hug Pyro had given her right before he…before he went home.

"I know that he's back where he belongs. Heh, he's too strong to let anything else happen!" As she tucked away the letter and the box the ring had come in, the OTHER events that had taken place of the past few weeks came crashing back. "The wedding! I have to stop Chrysalis!" gasped Lyra. With that, she tore off in the direction Twinkleshine and Minuette had gone.

The Last Breath, it's job completed, faded away to rejoin the other hats in the comfort of Pyro's backpack.

==========================================================

Pyro couldn't believe what he was seeing. There, on his singed and burnt hand sat the Something Special For Someone Special! Before he could ask from who it was from, an alert popped up overhead.

Lyra has accepted Pyro's "Best Friends Forever"!

Congratulations!

"…HURRRDAH!!! MUPHHMHMHMHM!" Pyro rocketed out of his seat into one the most impressive double backflips ever witnessed. She is real! Pyro wasn't crazy (not in that regard at least)! Pyro could hear whispers and cooing coming from the others as they made remarks as to who or what this mysterious "Lyra" could be. Pyro didn't care, he was happier than he had been in years, like a massive weight had been removed from his heart.

As Pyro pranced around, Tarvish was busy rummaging through his locker in search of something of critical importance, more than likely booze. "Agh, bloody hell! Where di' it go?"

"What's wrong, Drunky? Lose your other eye?" snorted the Soldier as he walked over to see just what the hell the drunken Scot was searching for.

"Shut it, 'JANE'. Ah, don't need this from ye right now, Ah caint find it anywhere!"

"Find what, you're sense of self-respect? Sobriety? A REAL weapon?" said the Soldier (A.K.A. Mr. Jane Doe) as he withdrew his trusty Rocket Launcher and polished off some residue of what was once a BLU Sniper.

"No, the Bombinomicon, it's missin'!"

==========================================================

"Evil Queen defeated: check. Peace restored in Equestria, again: check. Brother and best foalsitter ever happily married: check. Spike still not having a clue what a 'bachelor party really is: double check. Well, that does it for that list," said a tired Twilight as she stifled a yawn.

She and the rest of the Mane 6 sat around the sleeper car on the train back to Ponyville, worn out from all of the excitement and fun they had at the Royal Wedding. They had all decided to keep their fancy wedding gowns on (except Rainbow Dash) to show everypony back home who didn't get an invite to go personally and were talking about everything that had happened. Everypony else from Ponyville that had come on different trains slept soundly in the other cars, including Lyra, her new ring proudly displayed on her horn for all to see, even as she slept.

"So, Twilight, does this mean you're royalty now too?" asked Fluttershy.

"I don't know, maybe. It would be cool if I was wouldn't it?"

Pinkie nodded, "Yeah! Then I'd get to host ROYAL birthday parties for you each year!" A lightbulb appeared above Pinkie's head, startling Fluttershy and causing everypony else to give her a look of confusion before simply disregarding it and moving on. "That reminds me! I have something for you that I've been meaning to give you!" She reached behind her back and pulled out a brown book with a pink bow around it.

"Oh, thanks Pinkie. What is it?"

"I dunno, one of the fillies found it a while ago when we did that scavenger hunt back in Ponyville! I couldn't read it without it snapping at me so maybe it should be filed under 'M' for 'Meanie' instead of 'B'," said Pinkie as she watched at the apparently mean book carefully.

Twilight flipped the book over and nearly dropped it as she was met with two glowing red eyes glaring back at her. The book itself had a sort of leathery feel to it's brown cover, a red symbol of what appeared to be a spiky ball adorned what could be considered the "forehead". In the center of the grotesque tome sat a black bomb with an unlit fuse…surrounded by pointed teeth.

Twilight looked over at the pink mare that had given her the bizarre gift, she simply smiled at Twilight before joining Rarity and Applejack's conversation. Twilight flipped the book on it's side, it's title read "The Bombinomicon".

THE END…?

Chapter 1: Unforeseen Consequences

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

"But it makes sense! Think about it; we'd be able to hold things without magic, we'd be much taller, sure we wouldn't be able to run quite as fast…but with a little-"

"LYRA!!!" Screamed the purple mare, who had had enough of Lyra's rantings. The bright green unicorn snapped out of the trance she had fallen into while discussing her favorite topic; humans. She found herself inside of what was now Cheerilee's schoolhouse, the exact same schoolhouse they both had attended as fillies. The walls were lined with pictures the fillies had drawn in crayon along with various other forms of in-class artwork assignments. The rows of desks sat facing towards the large wooden teacher's desk with the main chalkboard behind it, which had seen it's fair share of math problems, cursive, and the occasional doodle either by the students or the teacher herself when she was bored.

Lyra looked at Cheerilee, then at the fillies, some wore expressions of confusion while others, like the Crusaders, wore expressions of pure delight. Lyra still had a yard stick floating lazily with her magic in front of a poster board with a crude drawing of a human on it. Cheerilee grabbed it from her, she didn't share in her enthusiasm. This was the third day in a row when she had come barging into her classroom and began telling stories to all of the young fillies in her class. Lyra had lost track of time since she had started talking, having arrived sometime after lunch and staying long enough for the sun to drop considerably behind the mountains.

"Ms. Heartstrings; I respect your enthusiasm, but this is neither the time nor the place! Now, if you want, you can give the rest of your 'presentation' after I finish this less-" An ear-piercing ring cut her off as the school bell chimed and the sound of cheering and stampeding hooves roared through the schoolhouse. Lyra's ears folded down as she sighed and drooped her head. "-on…*sigh* Well, I suppose now we'll never hear the rest of your riveting- oh, girls. You're still here."

"Really? Somepony stayed!?" Lyra's heart warmed up as she quickly scanned the room to see who was still there. Her hope dropped as she was met with only three little fillies staring back at her. "Oh, did you girls need to talk to Ms. Cheerilee…?" her voice trailed off as she spoke, her eyes once again finding their way to the floor.

"NOPE! We wanted to hear more about those humans!" said Scootaloo.

"Yeah, those things sound pretty funny, Ah'd like ta' hear how they're supossta walk around with only two legs!" said Apple Bloom as she examined the drawing Lyra had made. Lyra's spirits began to lift again. Well, it was better than having nopony stay behind. She levitated the yardstick from behind Cheerilee's desk as she galloped to the front of the room. The Crusaders took the front three desks as Cheerilee sat at her's.

"Well, since class is over, I suppose I could stay and listen to your speech. Go ahead Lyra," said a very tired Cheerilee as she brushed back her pink and white mane. Lyra shot her a quick smile and then turned to face her class. "Class". Although she could never be a teacher, she still loved to play her lyre (which looked almost exactly like her Cutie Mark) for whoever wanted to hear, so she was happy somepony was willing to listen to her.

"Okay, so we all know that monkeys don't have hooves like we do, instead they have these things called 'fingers'." She pointed the levitating stick towards the crudely drawn hands of her human. Sweetie Belle raised her hoof.

"But Ms. Lyra, if they carry things around with their…uh…"

"Hands."

"Yeah, with those things; then how do they walk around?" finished the little unicorn as she tried to make sense of the two legs the human was standing on. Lyra placed the yardstick on Cheerilee's desk, slightly waking the now very exhausted teacher. Lyra's face shifted to one of nervousness and false bravado.

"I'm glad you asked that, Sweetie Belle. Because it…just…so…happens…that…" Lyra had propped herself against the blackboard, using her front hooves to help stabilize her as she righted herself. Now even Cheerilee was paying close attention, this was even more interesting than the time Apple Bloom had shown them how to do loopty-hoops. The four ponies stared in amazement as their mouths fell open at what they saw; Lyra was now standing on nothing but her back hooves while using her front two to help stabilize herself, which, even though the others had seen her sitting like that before, was nothing compared to what they saw. She was much taller, just like she said, and the three fillies had to tilt their heads up just to maintain eye contact.

"You see? It's really pretty easy, the hard part is keeping your…balance WHOA!!!" Yelled Lyra as she stepped on a stray pencil and lost her balance, tumbling backwards into a large pile of ungraded homework as the thee fillies winced. Cheerilee had had enough at this point; on top of coming up with a new lesson plan for tomorrow, now she had to sort through all that backed-up work. Again! She shooed the fillies out of the schoolhouse before throwing Lyra and her poster out the front door.

"Hmph!" Cheerilee was about to slam the door when she saw Lyra beginning to well up with tears. She sighed and trotted over to her, patting her on the shoulder as she did so. "Come on, Lyra. Don't be sad. There…now why don't you run along home? I overheard the pegasi mention something about a 'lightning storm to end all lightning storms' happening tonight." Lyra wiped her cheek and brushed her mint green mane out of her face, she smiled weakly at the school pony as she stood.

"Thanks, Cheerilee." Lyra began to head home, where she could finally get some rest and forget this embarrassing day. It was unusually dark by the time she got into the market place, although the venders were still open and busy as ever. The venders were hard at work, trying to catch the eye of anypony that may have been heading home from work, or simply in the mood for whatever they had to sell. The Apple Family had left Big Macintosh in charge of the apple wagon for the day and was racking in quite the sales, since most of the mares bought apples just so they could get a chance to talk to the great red stallion, not that he'd say much other than his famous "Eeyup" anyway.

Lyra trotted passed the old library too, a large tree that had been hollowed years and years ago and transformed into an extensive library that also had housing for the resident librarian, and that just so happened to be none other than Princess Celestia's pupil herself; Twilight Sparkle. She could usually be seen inside the library, either reading a large pile of books or forcing her dragon assistant Spike to do some OCD task she had thought of. Lyra loved being in the square with all of the other ponies, although she didn't come off that way, she was actually very social.

The dark sky above began to grow sinister as the mild grey clouds turned into thick blankets that blocked out Celestia's sun altogether. Lyra picked up the pace and made to her home near the outer part of Ponyville. She opened the door with her magic and closed it quickly behind her. She glanced out the window as the winds began to pick up and rain started to fall.

"Wow," she said aloud "this is gonna be one violent storm..."

==================================================================

"SENTRY DOWN! Dammit, Pyro, get yer head outta where ever the hell it's stuck and help me!" The Engineer shouted over his radio. Dell Conagher, A.K.A the Engineer, was having a very bad day; BLU Team thought it would be funny as all hell if they had four Spies on their team, with a bunch of Demomen providing a distraction for their cloaked mischief (and by "distraction", they mean fire grenades at anything that moves). He could hardly hear himself think over the explosions, cries for Medics, shouts of pain, and worse of all; the Scout's ideas on where he thinks the Dispenser should be.

He was fairly certain that they had done this just to spite him, and he was make sure that they got what was coming to them; oh yes, every ounce of his wrath ripping through them at 1000 RPM from his Level 3 Sentry Gun…if he could just get a little backup! He had managed to get one of his patented Sentries to their maximum level a couple of times, only to have to have it sapped by a Spy posing as a teammate or to have a stray grenade blast it to scrap metal. An explosion shook him out of his thoughts as the Soldier came crashing down from over the building the Engineer was hiding behind. "Howdy, Soldier. How's the war goin'?"

"TERRIBLE!" the grizzled man screamed at the Texan as he got to his feet and dusted off/extinguished the smoldering embers on his jacket. "This team is nothing but a bunch of PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS!!!" The shout had managed to pierce the sounds of the battle raging on a few yards behind them, causing a passing Scout to show him a none-verbal yet universal sign of disagreement. Dell couldn't blame him for being upset; no wonder it was called "Dustbowl". He could hardly see more than 60 feet in front of him even with his goggles, and since the slightest movements were kicking up clouds of red dust, the frequent ordnance exploding all around the abandoned mining facility would make the sandstorms in Cairo look like a kid throwing sand in a backyard sandbox.

The dust had been wreaking havoc on the gear as well, forcing everyone on the Reliable Excavation Demolition (or RED) team to experience jams or malfunctions of some sort. Anything from the Heavy's mini gun not spinning, to the Sniper's rifle getting clogged, to the Pyro's flamethrower backfiring. The Soldier rammed a few more rockets into his launcher and prepared to rush the oncoming BLU Team. "I'm stopping those maggots here and now…Engie! I want a Sentry up and running before I come back! Do you understand that!?" The Engineer just glanced at him, then to the heap that once WAS a Sentry, then back to the Soldier before simply answering;

"Alright, you got it hoss…" He ran back to his Dispenser, the large ammo-packed box had been slightly damaged from some of the stray grenades, but he could worry about that later. Right now, he needed to get something to halt the Builders League United (BLU) crew from getting any further than they already had. The original plan was to stop them at the mine shafts, but thanks to unforeseen consciences (and that damn Pyro for not Spy-Checking as much as he should have been), they lost the first control point and were forced to retreat to secondary and final positions. "Sentry goin' up…" Dell didn't really know why he always said that, just something he had gotten used to he guessed.

After whaling on his Sentry for a few minutes, the Sentry sputtered and began to unfold; the short forward barrel on the gun retracted as twin chain guns rolled out to either side. The tripod it was resting on threw down multiple supports to keep it from tipping over, and the center ammo storage increased two-fold. It beeped as it scanned the surrounding area for any possible threats, and the sound also had a calming effect on Engie; the beeping meant that he wasn't in any immediate danger…at least, not from any VISIBLE targets. He still had to worry about Spies, and with no Pyro, he would have to constantly eye any teammates that came by and watch for shimmers.

A few more whacks from his wrench, his Sentry once again began to transform from Level 2 to Level 3; the lid on the ammo storage popped off as a box sprung from the opening, revealing a quad-missile launcher. The barrels also raised slightly, and were now thicker, which meant the damage output was increased. This was the ultimate defensive device; incredible range, multiple methods of dishing out death at amazing speeds, and, not bad to look at either with an even coat of bright-red paint. Dell was pleased with himself. He had worked tirelessly on the original designs that his grandfather, Radigan Conagher, had made and no other Sentry on earth could stand up next to it (except for that copying BLU Engineer. Cheating rattlesnake).

"Fine work, Engie!" said the Soldier, who had volunteered to stand watch while the Engineer upgraded his Sentry. Actually, wait a minute, Dell didn't remember the Soldier staying behind to help, he thought he had left earlier. Yeah, he reloaded at the Dispenser and then disappeared behind the-

"Disappeared…SPY!" yelled the texan as he withdrew his Pomson 6000 and pointed it squarely at the "Soldier's" head. The sleek red ray gun glistened in the desert sun and starkly contrasted the rest of the environment, which made sense, since the Engineer had found it from a para-dimensional space pod that had crashed through his house. "I gotcha now, ya shape-shiftin' varmint."

"Oh; PLEASE…" said the Soldier with a voice unlike his own. Smoke began to billow around him as his features became distorted, until he had radically changed from the familiar, rugged, self-proclaimed war vet right before the Engineer's eyes. "You filthze cowboy, do you really think you can stop me with…zat dreadful looking thing?" said the slender french man now standing before him. He discarded a paper mask with a picture of the RED Soldier on it to reveal his terrifying true mask underneath. He brushed off his clean-pressed suit with his free hand, while starring down the Engie with his Ambassador revolver in the other.

"Cowboy up!" Dell squeezed the trigger and a brilliant red particle beam shot out of the split conductor barrels of the Pomson 6000. The particle discharge began to form into cone shape as it flew further from it's point of origin, gaining speed as it did so. The Spy side-stepped it and let fly two rounds from his Ambassador, one struck the Engineer in his leg and forced him to the ground with a cry of pain. The other shot, however…

"AW YEAH! I'm domination' here, woo-hoo-hoo! Hey Engie, need a Dispenser her-AAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!!!" The unfortunate Scout's sentence was cut sort as the second shot found it's mark on the back of his throat, causing his head to pop like the time Heavy shook up his Bonk! Atomic Punch.

"Oh dear. I've made quite a mess. Now, where were-"

"YOU were about to get a little frontier justice, buddy. 'Cause this thing ain't on autopilot!" The Spy looked at him with a puzzled expression on his face, that is, before it changed to one of horror as his noticed the laser dot bobbing up and down on his lapel streaming from the Sentry gun. The alley lit up as bullets ripped through the Spy's body, sending his rag doll flying against the wall before it slumped to the ground. "Hehe…looky there, Spy, now you've got all sorts a' holes fer smoke to come outta."

He chuckled to himself as he released his Sentry from the effects of his Wrangler. The red aura around the the Sentry began to dissipate as did the laser pointer, while the Sentry itself powered down for a reboot back to autopilot. He still wasn't able to stand since the bullet that had dug into his upper thigh basically rendered his entire left leg useless until he could hold of a Medic, or rip it out himself.

"Oh, did I throw a wrench in your plans?" said an invisible voice. A crackling sound told the Engineer that his Sentry was being magnetically destroyed by the Spy's Sappers. Engie was confused for a moment; had the Spy's ghost returned to haunt him? No, wait; that watch. The Spy had withdrawn a pocket watch right before the Sentry had torn him apart. A Dead-Ringer, the Spy faked his death with a Dead-Ringer...

"Dammit dammit dammit!" cursed the Engineer as he went for his Pomson, while the Spy went for his leg. "Now, let's not have zat," he said as he flicked a cigarette with accuracy that would have embarrassed the Sniper into Dell's fresh Purple Heart qualifier. Another yelp of pain followed by incomprehensible muttering and cursing. Spy kicked the Pomson just out of reach, "What's ze American expression for zis situation? Ah, yes: 'Yippie Ki Yay, mother-"

"-humhhur," came an unmistakeable muffle. The mood of the situation was spilt into polar opposites; fear and rejoicing. Also a little annoyance.

"Where HAVE you been? Ah was waiting for ya," muttered Dell in between sharp breaths from his now slightly cauterized wound. Spy whirled around, aiming his Ambassador as he did so. He could feel the sweat dripping down the back of his neck, the unholy demon had found him, and there was very little he could do about it. Fortunately, another randomly launched grenade tossed up enough dust to buy the Spy time to disguise himself as a RED Spy.

"Hummph" said the Pyro with a muffled voice. He stepped forward, his black filtered gas mask glistening in the desert sun with it's blank, soul-piercing gaze. The sun was magnified due to his glass space helmet he was wearing over it that had a tobacco pipe attached to the front. The helmet was attached to a rocket-shaped oxygen tank that was strapped to his back, the upper cone being painted the same bright red as the Sentry.

His questionable headgear wasn't the only thing that shown brightly in the sun, he himself was pretty luminescent too. His body, encased in a full-length asbestos-lined suit, also had a brilliant red color that matched the decals on his equipment almost perfectly. It got darker and more charred the closer it got to his black gloves and boots, which suggested that might not have been their original color. He wore a strap that looped around his shoulder and had three cylindrical grenades hanging loosely from it. The protective suit squeaked slightly with every move he made, but it was almost undetectable with the steady hum of his shinny new flamethrower; the Phlogistinator.

The Phlogistinator, much like the Pomson 6000 and the Pyro in general, looked like it was horribly out of place when compared to the rest of abandoned mining facility. It had a wooden handle and a polished silver body, which was connected to front of the wide barrel by bronze wiring, while the barrel itself was little more than twin wrought iron loops connected loosely to the coiled neck. It wore team colors just like the rest of Pyro's gear; a red band wrapped around the small fuel canister near the bottom of the body with Dr. Grordbort's crest on the side.

Spy couldn't believe that this walking Section 8 was the biggest threat to him out of all the other classes he had gone up against. It was embarrassing. Spy almost broke character at this thought, but regained his composure and quickly made his way over to the bizarre space jockey.

"Pyro! Thank goodness! I zought we were in trouble for a moment. A BLU Spy got past me and…just look at what he did to ze Engineer." Dell, who at this point wasn't listening to their conversation, was trying frantically to flag-down a Medic so he could at least start walking again. No luck, a legitimately injured Heavy got his attention first and the Medic rushed off without even glancing at the downed cowboy. Dell could REALLY feel the love coming from his team.

"Mmmphm?" said Pyro as he looked where the Spy was pointing.

"Errr…yes, zat's right. I think he went down that way, he'll probably try to disguise as one of us and come back around."

"Mmhmm…" He raised his strange flamethrower in anticipation as he scanned the area, not noticing the Spy inching closer to him as he circled around to his back.

'Zhat's it, don't mind me, just keep looking that way you filthy maniac.' Pyro couldn't see anything, which meant only one thing; the Spy was still near by, and now was the time to do what he was born to do…

"MHHHMHMHMH!!!" Pyro squeezed the trigger on his Phlogistinator and swung in a wide arc as fiery disk-like rays lit up the immediate area. The Spy was set ablaze, screaming as he tried to extinguish himself. The Pyro's gaze locked on to where the Spy was standing, he turned his ray gun on him once more, this time, with much more lethal results. The Spy began to disintegrate into fiery autumn leafs that fell slowly to earth and formed a neat little pile.

The Pyro was not satisfied, he had fallen for this trick one too many times; 26. And each and every time he could have prevented it by not celebrating after killing the Spy the first time and letting his guard down, no he just needed to hold the flames (or rays, whatever) over the body a little…found him! What was once the shimmer of the Spy attempting to fake his death yet again was hit by the rays and burst into flames like a Mann Co. shovel as he ran for the safety of his teammates. Not flipping likely. The Pyro tore after him, space gun blazing, hell-bent on stopping the infiltrator.

"Yeah, Pyro, go get that-HEY! Watch it! Don't touch that-"

Now, there is a reason why the Phlogistinator and the Pomson 6000 look so similar; that's because they both fell through the Engineer's house in the same para-dimensional craft sent by Dr. Grordbort. While the Engineer, Pyro, and Soldier (who had received his Cowmangler 5000 way before Engie and Pyro found theirs) had all figured out how to operate their respective ray guns, they didn't know much beyond "Point-this-end-that-way" and "Don't-get-this-near-power-lines". They simply didn't have the necessary time to really test them with their eternal land grab forcing them to all corners of the globe, so they were discovering new side-effects all the time.

Pyro is moments away from finding side-effect #324; what happens when you overheat the Pomson 6000 with the Phlogistinator. The rays engulfed the particle-smasher and it began to crack, releasing strange lights from the crevasses as it shock violently. It seemed to jump into the air and then foiled into itself with a terrifying crunch. The lights that were coming out of it were now forming their own sphere in the air around it, creating a massive energy ball that enveloped the immediate area. Pyro snapped out of his mad charge long enough to notice that his arm was being sucked into the spiraling vortex, and so was the rest of his body. Once his shoulder was gone, the rest of him was swept off his feet and disappeared into the void before the energy ball erupted into a multitude of colorful fireworks.

"Aw, hell. This ain't gonna be fun to try and explain later…" sighed Dell as the rest of the team stopped to admire the fireworks that used to be Pyro.

==========================================================

"Alright, who's ready for truth-or-dare?" said Twilight as she plopped down on one of the pillows on the floor of the library.

"ME!!!" The shriek was magnified partly by all of the mares sitting in the circle on the floor yelling at the top of their lungs and the fact that main part of the old library wasn't all that big. Twilight was practically beaming with joy at the large gathering; ever since Rarity and Applejack had been stranded in her house during that one thunderstorm, she played hostess to every pony who wanted a place to stay during big storms.

"Alright," she flipped open her book on sleepovers and turned a few pages with her magic, "Uh, Colgate! Why don't you go first?"

"Oh, okay! Umm…Berry Punch; truth or dare?" Lyra smiled as she watched her friends having a good time. She was glad that Bonbon had come over and told her about this party. Lyra really didn't like storms, she wasn't scared of them or anything, she just didn't like the thought of being killed by a random bolt of energy crashing down from the heavens is all. "Huh, I always thought you were more of a cider girl. Well, whatever. Pick somepony else!"

Berry Punch looked around the room for a moment, glancing over at Spike (who was busy moving dishes and snack trays) before her eyes met Lyra's. "Lyra! Truth or dare?" Lyra perked up, the moment of truth was upon her; Berry Punch was a horrible pony to get picked by, the dares were brutal and she always asked the most embarrassing questions. She had been embarrassed enough today, so…

"Uhh…DARE!" blurted Lyra, quickly regretting her decision. Berry was already thinking of one before she said that, and answered immediately with a twisted smile.

"I dare YOU to make-out with Big Mac!" All of the mares squeed and laughed while shooting looks at Lyra (who was now about the same shade as Big Mac) and at the stallion who was watching the fillies for the mares while they chatted. He turned around at the mention of his name with Dinky still on his head, only to be met with a bunch of giggling ponies and one very red Lyra. He paused, while he had been doing a good job of drowning them out, he had heard "truth or dare" a few times, and they were looking at him, and that one mint-green mare was blushing like…no. Oh no, no way. Not happening. He felt a small hoof tapping on his forehead, he looked up at the grey and blonde unicorn.

"I think they want you to go play with them," said Dinky with a whisper.

"*Sigh* Eeyup…" he said as he lowered Dinky to the floor. She scampered off to join the other fillies in a library-wide game of tag while Mac slowly moseyed over to where the mares were sitting. Lyra was burning a hole in the pillow she had buried her face in and Mac was turning slightly more maroon than he normally was. This was awkward for the both of them, since 1) they saw each other all the time in town, 2) Lyra and Mac had never really talked before, and this was going to be the first real 'interaction' between the two of them, and 3) Applejack was sitting four ponies over from both Mac and Lyra.

"C'mon Lyra, kiss him!" said Berry between squeals. Lyra was frantically trying to think of a way out of this horrible mess she'd gotten herself into, if she had only learned that teleportation spell back in school. Suddenly, and idea crossed her mind. It was a long shot, but…

"Well," she said as she lifted her head from her pillow, still a bright red, "I guess I hav- OH! Actually; I JUST remembered that I left my presentation board outside of the schoolhouse and I'd better go grab it before it starts to rain again!" With an awkward forced laugh, she bolted out the door and sped down the road towards the school. Those left behind were dumbfounded by the sudden rush and sat there just staring at the blur formally known as Lyra. Twilight glanced down at the index in her book for any possible section about party guests running screaming into the night. No avail.

==========================================================

Lyra stopped after a while to catch her breath, she had taken off in such a rush that when she looked up, she noticed that she had almost ran past the schoolhouse altogether. She was glad she had escaped the torment of truth-or-dare and could feel the cold air cooling off her warm cheeks as she trotted over to her poster board that was laying in a mud puddle. She sighed as she lifted it out of the muck with her magic and shook it off.

She got a nervous chill down her spine; something was amiss. The pegasi were becoming frantic, and the lightning was becoming more concentrated, it seemed to gather all in one place. The cloud right…above…her…

"Oh Celestia." She ran for cover behind the rickety old schoolhouse as the once gloomy night sky turned turbulent; winds whipped around the trees knocking everything that wasn't attached into the great yonder, the dark clouds lit up as lightning poured out of them, striking anything and everything. Lyra was still wasn't panicking, she knew that the pegasi had it all under control. She thought that, until she saw the pegasi dodging the thunderbolts too and started to head for Cloudsdale as fast as they could. NOW Lyra was scared.

She could actually hear the lightning forming above her as she hunkered down, she wished she had just stayed and kissed Big Mac instead of getting blasted apart by a force of nature. She looked up into the darkness as a surge of energy crackled above her, if she was going to die, she wasn't about to just shut her eyes and take it. She felt tingling sensations all throughout her body, and especially in her horn, this next one was going to be close. She braced herself as the light grew brighter and brighter until…

It changed color.

Lyra stood in awe as the raw energy went from bright white to a neon red, and clustered together to form a brilliant sphere that cast the clouds from it's presence. It rotated violently within it's confines seemingly as if though it was trying rip itself apart. It came together in a cone before ejecting something. Something large, roughly the size of Princess Luna, went sailing past the schoolhouse and crashed somewhere in the tree canopy of the Everfree Forest. The clouds and lightning subsided soon after.

Lyra, now cautiously checking her surroundings for anymore surprises, stepped out from behind the storm-tattered school and wandered towards the faint glow beyond the tree line. All the fillies in Ponyville were taught from birth to never enter the Everfree Forest after a storm (they were told never to go there period, but especially after a storm), because the wild animals will be awake and out prowling for food. Naturally, after reading so many of Daring Do's books, she and every other pony her age had broken that rule at least once to see what horrible things were REALLY in the forest, but the most they ever saw was a Timber Wolf or two.

As she made her way through the forest, she began to realize that the light was much more powerful than she originally thought, forcing her deeper into the dark woods to discover it's source. She hiked a good mile before coming across burnt leafs and broken branches. The light she had been hunting seemed to be nothing more than a small bonfire, a bonfire with a strange device at it's center. Lyra levitated the shiny cylindrical device out from the flames and moved a few feet from the wreck.

It was unlike anything she had ever seen. She couldn't figure out how to lift it without magic; it was too heavy for her to pick up with her mouth, and it was awkward to hold with her hooves. Then it hit her, this strange thing was created for creatures with one particular appendage:

"Hands! Whoever- whatever build this…'Phlogistinator' thing had HANDS! It had to have been a human! I knew it! I knew they were-" she was quickly cut off by a snarl coming from behind her "-real?" She screamed as a pack of Timber Wolves surrounded her, she hadn't noticed them approach in her euphoric state. The wooden wolves circled around her, growling all the while. She was about let out another scream when she heard more rustling in brushes in the direction of the crash.

'Great, more wolves. Maybe these new guys will fight the ones already here for who gets to have me for dinner.' She ducked her head down and the wolves turned to see what horrible monster had come to the party.

"Huddha? Huddha-huh!" That didn't sound like any creature Lyra had ever heard, and the wolfs sure didn't like it either. They refocused their attention from the quivering pony to this new bipedal attacker, which towered head and shoulders over them. One of the wolves lunged at the newcomer, only to be diced in half buy the Pyro's Third Degree; an axe with a white-hot metal coil for a blade that had also be crafted by the infamous Dr. Grordbort, as was the Pyro's next trick up his sleeve. The next wolf jumped from the other side, possibly hoping to avoid the glowing axe that had made short work of the previous wooden beast. Well, its plan worked, it never even touched the axe before the Pyro dispatched it; like a cowboy in an old western, Pyro had withdrawn his Manmelter (another fine product from Dr. Grordbort) and shot a beam of light that caused the wolf to burst into flame before crashing into the tree behind the quick-shooting space man. It was down to the last wolf. The wolf had it's glowing yellow eyes locked with Pyro's soulless goggles and neither was about to break that lock. The wolf ran at him, Pyro once again took a shot at it with his Manmelter only to miss and cause a bush containing a cockatrice to explode into a fireball as the terrified bird/snake hybrid ran off with it's tail ablaze. The wolf took this chance to side-swipe him and knock both the Manmelter and the Third Degree out of his hands, leaving him wide open.

Lyra, who had been watching with awe, noticed this and was about to fling the Phlogistinator over to him but he raised a hand to stop her. He coupled his hands behind him as a flame danced in-between the two jet-black gloves and grew into a fireball. The wolf, unimpressed, lunged once again at the red menace.

"Huddha-MHMMMM!!!" he pumped his hands forwards as the wolf got within biting distance, Lyra wanted to close her eyes, but she was glad she didn't. The fireball that had been forming shot out about a foot from his hands and connected with the wolf's torso, the wolf exploded into bits of wood and twigs rained down as is if though the trees were molting. He stood triumphantly, moments before falling over from exhaustion and landing with a thud into the bushes.

Lyra rushed to his side, but nearly fainted herself as she looked over the mysterious hero. He…she…IT had to be human, everything points to it being a human, and now she could finally prove to everypony that she had been right this whole…time. No, she couldn't do that.

'The Princesses would have him taken to Canterlot for sure, and I'd probably get banished for showboating this guy around, or imprisoned, or imprisoned in the place I'm banished! NO! I have to keep this secret.'

Lyra thought hard about what to do, in the mean time, she had better get all of this thing's stuff rounded up before the Timber Wolves pulled themselves back together. She collected the Third Degree and Manmelter from the bushes they had set on fire and placed them next to the still unconscious Pyro before heading back over to the crash zone. She was surprised to find a bag of sorts near the crater. It looked like a saddle bag, except it didn't seem to fit the same way. She was even more surprised at how HEAVY it was, she could barley left it with her magic, and it took some doing just to get it back over to the Pyro.

"Well, now that I've rounded up everything; what am I going to do???"

Chapter 8: Infernal Imp (Part 1)

Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of it's characters. I do, however, own; Over-Dose, Quick-Fix, Captain Ajax, and Commander Ironsides.

Pyro couldn't believe his eyes; the majesty that lay before him nearly brought forth a tear, the sheer warmth and happiness it created hadn't been felt in his heart for many years if not a decade. He took a knee. If he tried to stand, he would only be that much further off the ground when he fainted from joy. Truly, this is the substance that dreams are forged: the biggest bucking haul of candy anypony had ever seen.

By rallying together rather than competing for dominance, Pyro, Pinkie, and the CMC had brought back so much candy that Pyro actually had to use one of his keys to open a crate so they would be able to safely store their treasure. A cost Pyro had resisted at first, since those keys were extremely valuable in his world and he still had no idea if he would ever see his beloved team again, but the lure of the sugary sweets were undeniable (not to mention that Pinkie was glaring at him to do it too).

As the three blank-flank fillies literally dove into their bounty, Pyro took this chance to really take in his surroundings. The air was unbelievably fresh even through his filters, without that hint of lit propane or burning flesh wafting about. He looked around at the dressed up ponies and wondered how they managed to make such awesome costumes, like Twilight's costume that looked strangely familiar, he assumed that magic played a big role one way or another and left it at that.

Pyro thought back to his childhood, or at least what little of it he had had. He remembered dressing up and going door to door, getting candy and maybe some money, seeing his friends, running from the occasional dog that "got loose" and chased him for a quarter mile before giving up. Those were the days. Even after he joined RED Team Halloween continued to be one of his favorite holidays; dressing up and capping point to point, getting holiday items and maybe even a hat, Spy-checking "friends", running from an Über-Heavy that the Scout said "was almost dead" and then sprinting for dear life across the battlefield before a Sentry took the Russian down. Those were the days.

He plopped down onto one of the festive chairs outside of Donut Joe's Donut Shop as he reminisced. A couple of colts dressed as mummies came lumbering by and saw Pyro sitting in front of the popular dinner.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Winger. "Atomizer, Soda Popper; check THAT out!"

"Hey, that's not bad. Ah man I'm stavin', let's grab a bite." said Atomizer.

"Maybe there's more decorations like him in dere!" stated Soda Popper as the trio made their way into Joe's shop while taking a little extra time to admire the mistaken statue. More ponies entered the store in a similar fashion, spotting Pyro drifting off into space and then feeling an uncanny hunger pang from the smell of freshly baked donuts that surrounded Donut Joe's. It was the perfect trap.

Pyro, who was completely oblivious to the world around him, had continued his flash back and was now at the point in his life where he had first signed up with RED Team…

=====TIME WARP=====

A lonely breeze swept through the dusty desert collecting sand and loose soil as it brushed past the red stone towers being baked by an unrelenting sun. Vultures cawed in the distance, signaling that another poor soul had lost it's way in the vast wasteland and had not the will to continue. Indeed, this desert was not for the faint of heart…or for the bright of brain.

The only town of questionable characters in the sea of sand for miles in any direction was a little place called Teufort. While the town itself wasn't much to speak of; rusty, aging buildings in varying states of disrepair lined the cracked asphalt roads like rotting husks, the "abandoned" mining facility was where all the action was to be had.

From the outside, it appeared to be nothing more than two different-colored mills of some sort built VERY close to each other. But on the inside, below the spiraling walkways and dank sewers, lied a massive array of intelligence gathering equipment for Reliable Excavation Demolition and Builders League United respectively. The twin companies, RED and BLU, had spawned from a father company called TF Industries and were constantly fighting each other for dominance.

At least that's what Pyro had been told. As he sat at the train station in Dustbowl, he looked through a pamphlet his mysterious employers had given him. It contained various instructions and maps for a wide range of situations he might encounter, such as what to do if a rocket is coming at you, or if a little point of light keeps following your head.

The sound of an air-piercing train whistle forced his attention to the iron horse that had rolled into the station. A large rust-red freight train that only had an engine and two cars. Pyro quickly grabbed his things and boarded the train to begin his new career.

Pyro stopped once he made his way into the passenger car: he thought he was going to be the first picked up, not the last. He sighed and marched down the hall, slightly deflated. As he walked, Pyro noticed how few people where onboard such a large train, only seven to his count not including him. Although, he wasn't permitted to enter the back car or the engine so there might be more elsewhere. Such trivial thoughts were quickly discarded as he found a massive mini gun pointed at his head. The manual didn't cover this…

"Who is tiny baby?" said the large man with a thick russian accent.

"Mhrrr marrrm mur Myro."

"…vhat? Are you mocking Heavy Weapons Guy? Do you think is funny!?" Heavy's mini gun began to spin and made a loud whirring sound like a bear ready to attack.

A black wrench whacked the barrels of the rotating death machine and redirected them towards the floor, the wielder of said wrench was a shorter man wearing a backwards hardhat, goggles, brown overalls, a tool belt, and one yellow glove. He looked up at the now furious Russian with a look of disappointment.

"Cool yer jets, hoss, this guy wouldn't be here if he weren't on our team." said the man with a Texas accent as Heavy cradled the ferocious gun in his arms as if though he had just stuck a child with that wrench.

"Don't you DARE touch Sasha! I will kill you and kill you and-"

"'Kill you'. I know, Heavy. You've said that to damn near everyone here already. Now why don't ya take yer seat and leave this whack job ta' me?" The large man locked eyes with the Engineer and froze in place as the train clacked along the tracks. After a few moments of intense glaring, Heavy finally sighed and took his seat next to his beloved gun. The Texan smiled and returned to his own seat next to a scrawny boy with a headset and a grizzled looking war vet wearing a helmet that shielded everything from his eyes up.

As the the Americans continued their conversation about baseball, Pyro scanned the rest of the car for an open seat. Setting across from Heavy was a tall man in a white overcoat talking to an alabaster dove that was perched on one of his red rubber gloves. He appeared to be speaking German, and since Pyro only knew a few phrases in German (the majority of which had to deal with the location of the nearest bathroom/beer hall), he decided to keep looking.

He saw another slender man sitting towards the back wearing a slouch hat and tinted glasses who was talking to another person Pyro couldn't see from his side. As he got closer, the other mercenary turned to face the boot steps coming towards his person and revealed his battered face. He gazed lazily at Pyro (who had taken a few steps back) with his un-patched eye and raised a bottle that Pyro could smell from where he was standing AND through his filters. Now Pyro was really excited; he didn't know he was going to have a black pirate on his team!

"What're you lookn' at, boyo? Have I got somethn' on me face or have you jus never seen a real man before?" slurred the Demoman with an accent that could only have come from Scotland.

Okay, maybe "pirate" wasn't the right term. This individual seemed more like a-

"Ack! Who'm I kiddin'? I'm a black Scottish cyclops! *sob*"

Yeah, that about sums it up. Demoman placed his head in his hands and began to blubber and sob in between shots of the mysterious liquid. The other man, who had been quiet for the most part as he witnessed the drunken Scot slowly break down into sobs, sighed and patted Demoman on the back. He spoke with an entirely new accent from the others that Pyro found rather irritating.

"Oy mate, why don't ya' give 'im a few ticks to sort 'imself, ay?"

An Australian? It had been some time since Pyro had tangled with anyone from the outback, and his previous encounter nearly cost him his life at the hands of Saxton Hale during his job interview. Pyro really didn't like the way they talked, so mumbled and choppy, he could hardly understand them half the time. Pyro pivoted and caught sight of the prize he was after; an empty seat. He threw his oversized duffle on the overhead compartment only to have it come crashing back down to the floor and spill it's contents. Everyone else got a good chuckle out of that as Pyro knelt down and scooped up his belongings, what had caused it to fall? He peered at the rack and saw another, more stylish bag already there.

He ran another head count to confirm that the rest of the team was all there with their respective luggage crammed in the overhead. He pushed the mysterious bag further down the rack and then took a second attempt at storing his gear, this time, he actually managed to sit on the dusty seat before gravity claimed his bag for it's own once again. Pyro jumped to his feet, grabbed the worn duffle and forcefully jammed it into the overhead. He stood perfectly still as he diligently watched for even the slightest movement. After a few seconds he was satisfied that his bag had been secured and he could finally-

*WHUMP*

"…HUDDAH MRRPH HUHHAD!" screamed Pyro. What kept knocking his damn bag off the rack!?

"Zis is my seat, you in-breed lunatic." came a voice from the ether. Pyro tore open his bag and withdrew his home-made Flamethrower he had constructed from a propane tank, a red gas station pump handle, steel zip ties, and black metal nozzle.

Now everybody was on their feet and paying close attention to the infuriated arsonist as they tried to persuade him from turning the claustrophobic train car into a furnace of fiery death. He swung the faux dragon wildly as he placed his mental crosshairs over everyone he could see, trying to weed out the dead prankster who dared defile his equipment.

Dell (or "Engineer" as his employers called him) was the first person to break the tension and the first person to get the hissing Flamethrower's pilot light mere inches from his face. "Alright, enough foolin' around," he said calmly as he pushed the weapon out of his face, "Spy, I haven't calibrated this guy's weapons yet. He can still flambé your scrawny ass if ya' keep agitating him."

Pyro heard a sound like a series of electronics shorting out coming from behind him. He spun around just in time to witness a thin man wearing a red suit and a matching balaclava, which covered everything save his mouth and eyes, materialize before him. His mouth was pressed into a sneer which also held a lit cigarette that's smoke was somehow cloaked by the same means that hid the thin man. A black butterfly knife twirled lazily betwixt his gloved fingers and came to rest as he inhaled a puff from his custom cigarette.

Pyro couldn't believe the weirdos on his team: A cowboy, a baseball player, a war vet, an Australian, a drunken Scottish pirate, a German guy with a bird, a Russian man-bear with a human-sized mini gun, and now, a French wizard. With a rubber-clad firebug to round it all out. Pyro felt sorry for whatever unlucky soul had to go up against this assortment of questionable characters…he would have never guessed it would be them.

Pyro soon found that Builders League United had hired a similar group of mercenaries, VERY similar. Right down to the taunts. Pyro learned not to question how exactly that worked lest he meet the same fate as the Civilian. As the years and the wars raged on, he grew hard-hearted; running over his teammates with his Flamethrowers to check for those crafty Spies, burning people alive then dancing on their ashes, and even becoming something of an accomplished axe murderer. He fought other foes that actually forced him to work with BLU on a few occasions, such as the Horseless Headless Horseman. But one Halloween, everything changed.

==================================================================

Reports of a flying eyeball that fired smaller eyeballs as rockets had been buzzing across the intelligence network all day long but no sightings, ironically enough, had been made in the past hour or so. That was fine with Pyro, because right now he was more concerned with taking Eyeaduct.

As rockets and bombs exploded all around and mingled with cries for the Medic and an apparent need for multiple Dispensers, both teams scrambled for the central point that rested in the middle of a very scary Halloween event. Ghosts roamed aimlessly among the combatants, causing anyone who got too close to shriek and run for cover. Needless to say, it was complete Discord-level chaos, and Pyro was loving every minute of it.

In all the confusion, he had been able to run along the sideline as catch people easier than he ever had before. His kill count was closely reaching fifty with only six deaths (thank God for that Respawn Room). As he returned to flash-fry the cocky Scout trying to cap the central (and only) point, a purple smog suddenly shot out of the plate as the Scout turned a deep black and disintegrated before everyone's eyes.

Demoman stopped in horror as he yelled at the top his lungs; "MONOCULUS!"

As the panicked screams from the Scot rang out, a gigantic brown eye emerged from where the Scout once stood and took flight by some strange means. The back of the monstrosity showed signs of damage, as if though it had been ripped from whatever unholy creature it once belonged to.

As it it just so happened, that "unholy creature" turned out to be Tarvish DeGroot, A.K.A. Demoman.

As a small boy, Tarvish had once accepted a job to clean a strange old man's library for nickel, that crazy old coot was none other than Merasmus The Magician, keeper of the dreaded tome; "The Bombinomicon". Tarvish, having been tempted by the talking text with secrets of higher explosives, was cursed in the left eye. Only by an enchainment that forced Merasmus to remove his eye was he saved. It was earlier that day during a Halloween Party that Merasmus The Magician reappeared, as the Soldier's roommate of all things. During a dispute over who's turn it was to clean the dishes, Soldier broke Merasmus' staff which made the aged warlock set MONOCULUS on them (and called the police, but that's another court case for another day).

Now it was here, but it didn't seem all that angry. It would occasionally fire a slow moving eyeball at whoever was shooting at (which was everyone once the shock wore off and Scout respawned), but even the Heavy was able to sidestep the incoming projectiles. Whatever it's reason for being, it was still attacking and neither team was one for forgiveness as the eerie sky light up once more around the floating creature.

The monster took quite the pounding, shrugging off the high-caliber ordinance like it was rain as it continued to unenthusiastically launch miniature versions of itself at anyone who crossed it's massive field of vision.

Pyro was suddenly graced by an idea; if these mini-eyeballs acted the same way as rockets, maybe they also shared the same flaw…well, it wasn't like he could just jump up and tag it with his Backburner.

He withdrew his trusty Detonator and took aim at MONOCULUS while it was distracted by a soon-scrapped Level 3 Sentry. He launched the searingly bright flare with a piercing whistle as it streaked across the sky at the beast. Pyro pressed the second trigger on the pistol which caused the flare to explode with a thunderous bang right on top of MONOCULUS. The fleshy orb turned to gaze upon the RED dragon who was now having second thoughts about his hastily thought-out plan.

As he predicted, MONOCULUS fired a detached fist-sized eye crackling with Critical Energy at Pyro. He lined up his Backburner, moved his hand into position on the handle to the secondary trigger, and squeezed…

…perfectly returning fire! The now glowing red eye soared back at it's creator twice as quickly as it had left. It collided with the brown iris and erupted in a shower of sparks and blood. Everyone rejoiced, now that they knew it's weakness, it would be a simple task of having both Pyros play Rocket Tennis until the beast peri-

"MUUUURRRRRURRRRRRR!!!" MONOCULUS roared with fury as it's brown iris flashed to deep red and frowned to the best of it's abilities. It began firing eyes at a much faster rate with uncanny accuracy, destroying everything it hit. Even the Scout was helpless against the rapid volley of super-charged MONOCULUS Jr.s, and soon painted the rickety wooden tower near BLU base a very ugly color after his BONK! Atomic Punch wore off.

As MONOCUUS turned and fired at Pyro, his final thoughts were curses directed at the Medic for not having an Über-Charge ready…

==================================================================

When Pyro awoke back in the confines of RED base, he saw the rest of his team huddled near the locker all talking excitedly about something. How long had her been out? Stupid Respawn Room's waiting period was too damn high for Pyro's liking. Although, it did mean that BLU had to deal with the same problems so that was sort of comforting.

Pyro sat up, his shoulders were killing him and he felt like he had the grandmother of all migraines. That MONOCULUS must've really done a number on him (it would be another few matches before Pyro learned that attacking MONOCULUS with a Critical would send it into a frenzy). He slowly (and painfully) got to his feet and moseyed over to where everyone else was gathered.

Tarvish couldn't have been happier, not only had he been the one to defeat the dreaded creature with a well-placed grenade from his Loch-n-Load, but he had also received a copy of The Bombinomicon AND a hat that looked exactly like his beloved eye. The rest of the team stood in awe of the spectacle as he dawned the hollow eye and attached the evil text to his flack vest, it's glowing red eyes looking each of them over as they patted Demoman on the back and offered up high-fives.

The mood in the room changed from rejoicing to terror almost instantly as all eyes fell upon Pyro. "Murr?" he questioned as his teammates looked him over with mixed looks shock and curiosity.

"Well son," said Dell, breaking the silence as he approached scratching his chin, "looks like ya got yourself a new outfit. Just right fer the occasion too."

"Murr mumph-hum?" said a befuddled Pyro as he searched for a mirror, which he found in his cubby along on of the walls. He nearly dropped the delicate hand mirror when he saw himself. "Huh mur Gah."

=====TIME WARP=====

A thunderous chorus of Royal Trumpets brought Pyro back to the present. Nightmare Night was about to officially begin and everypony was gathering in the courtyard. Pyro hefted himself out of the small chair and regrouped with Pinkie and three fillies with wicked tummy aches. As he left, Donut Joe came rushing through the front door in a hurry.

"Wait! Don't go! You're the best decoration I never paid for! Aw, phooey; now I gotta find some other way to draw in the crowds..."

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Lyra and Bon Bon hadn't strayed far from the festive courtyard and had prime spots for whatever the Princesses had in store for their little ponies. They were soon joined by the Mane Six and Pyro as he lowered the queazy CMC to their respective sisters/Rainbow Dash. Soon all of Canterlot had gathered and the dull roar of the crowd rang out across the simmering city. Twilight looked skyward, the moon had somehow been covered by a thick blanket of clouds.

'I wonder what Princess Luna's got in store for us this year!' thought Twilight as she began to bounce up and down at the thought of being in her favorite place in Equestria during one of her favorite holidays.

Finally, a dark cloud of twinkling stardust erupted from the door on the balcony above the gathering of masquerading mares and costumes colts that rolled back and forth through the air before slamming onto the ground in front of them with a tremendous impact that shook the cobblestone underneath. The cloud released a burst of mist that engulfed everypony up to their knees as Nightmare Moon herself emerged from within with a terrifying grin that showcased her brilliant fangs. Gasps and cries of shock rocketed all around the crowd, but was soon drowned out by cheers and stomping of hooves as she waved to her lowly subjects.

The Mane Six were still a little on edge. They all knew that Princess Luna had the ability to transform at will, and this WAS Nightmare Night. But none of them, not even Pinkie, could shake that nagging feeling that something wasn't right and that somehow the entity standing before them was actually the Queen of Darkness.

As the mist began to delude into the streets, a second figure could be made out within the the smoke screen standing high above Nightmare Moon: A gigantic, bipedal pumpkin-wearing monstrosity. Everypony gasped followed by more cheering as they applauded what they thought to be one of the greatest props they had ever seen in all their years in Equestria.

"Wow!" Exclaimed Lyra. "Have you ever SEEN such an awesome human skeleton before?! The Princesses really went all out, wouldn't you agree, Pyro?" No response came from the masked man as he stood ridged and tense. "Pyro?"

Without warning, Pyro sprang to life and rushed the hollow-headed horror with his Phlogistinator that he seemed to conjure from from thin air. As he got clear of the surrounding Equestrians, the Phlogistinator lit up the night with it's lethal, fiery disks.

Pinkie, meanwhile, recognized Silas from a picture she had seen in her grandfather's journal and screamed; "IT'S THE HORSELESS HEADLESS HORSEMAN! EVERYPONY RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" As she bolted out of the crowd, Twilight (the only other pony to whom the name "Headless Horseless Horseman" caused alarm) was about to call her back so she wouldn't get everypony into a panic when noticed a train of fillies chasing after her down the road.

'Good thinking Pinkie! With the fillies gone, they won't be in any danger. I just hope the same goes for us too…' thought Twilight as she whipped back around to where Pyro was barreling towards the two evil deities.

Nightmare shifted back into her smoke for and retreated to a safe distance away from the reach of the para-dimensional torch as the HHH swung the Headtaker and missed Pyro's head by only a few inches. Using the built up momentum, he swung again attempting to slice off Pyro's legs. Pyro acted quickly and managed to ride on the flat side of the massive axe, as the swing reached the height of its arc behind Silas's pumpkin cranium, Pyro wasted no time lighting him up as he dismounted from the Headtaker.

Silas roared, "SO YOU THINK YOUR PITIFUL ASSULT CAN ACTUALLY KILL ME? PLEASE, EVEN WITH THOSE OTHER EIGHT REJECTS AIDING YOU, YOU BARELY DEFEATED ME LAST HALLOWEEN! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN- GAHHH!!!" Pyro hit the chattering Jack-O-Lantern square in the mouth which made him stumble backwards from the sheer heat. "HRRM, THOSE DAMNED DR. GRORDBORT TRINKETS ARE QUITE TROUBLESOME. BUT YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S LEARNED A NEW TRICK!"

A sickly yellow aura surrounded Pyro as he was thrust into the air by ill-gotten magic the Horseless Headless Horseman had acquired not two days prior. As Pyro soared through the air he saw the cloud of stardust that was once Nightmare Moon reshape back into the Princess of the Night and firmly planted all four hooves into his chest with planet-cracking force. The shockwave traveled through his body, cracking nearly every bone he possessed and rupturing his heart before sending him screeching back towards the cold, unforgiving, stone courtyard.

Pyro crashed against the cobblestone with a sickening crunch and caused massive fissures in the masonry. The Horseman, still not satisfied that Pyro was gone for good, trudged over to finish him off when a rumbling from the depths of Canterlot itself made him halt. The cracks around the half-dead masked salamander grew larger and gave way to a gigantic pit. Pyro fell into the crushing darkness without so much as a muffled groan, landing with a limp thud in the crystal chambers below a few seconds later.

Now everypony did what they should have done long ago: run. Sadly it was all for nought as Nightmare Moon's frightfully loyal Night Watch (who had already set up blockades) stopped anypony trying to escape and forced them back into the damaged courtyard. Everypony, except for Pinkie Pie, the fillies, and Lyra Heartstrings.

Lyra hunkered down behind a dumpster near Donut Joe's as she tried to stifle her sobs and shallow breathing. Her eyes stung from the river of tears that poured down her cheeks and stained her mint-green coat. She coughed and sputtered as she chocked down her pain of having to watch her friend (from what she could only assume) fall to his painful death right before her eyes.

She wanted nothing more than to scream and make it all go away, but she couldn't. She couldn't risk capture now. Anger boiled inside her and she had no way to get it out other than forcefully striking the large metal dumpster with her hoof and denting the ugly green container.

She pulled off her mask and turned it so it faced her, the Pyromancer's Mask stared blankly at the distraught unicorn with it's hollow sockets. It was all that was left of the human she had rescued from the Everfree Forest after he had selflessly risked life and limb to save her.

A loud metallic clang startled Lyra out of her sadness as she frantically looked around for it's source fearing that it was guard. Satisfied that it wasn't a member of the Night Watch, she continued to look for the cause of the noise when she spotted something shimmering near the base of the dumpster; a round, flat shield with small studs surrounding the central boss. She moved it over to her hiding spot with her magic and examined it closely, the tag on the side read: "Splendid Screen."

'Where in Equestria did this come from? This doesn't look like one of Pyro's weapons…' she thought as another tear rolled down her burning cheeks. Then it dawned on her. The crate he had opened to hold all of the candy, Lyra never saw what he did with what was inside! This must have been it. She studied it carefully, examining every detail of the bronze plate. 'If Nightmare Moon and that…thing are down here, then Princess Celestia must still be up in the tower. I have to help her!'

With her new course of action set, she slung the shield over her back and replaced her Pyromancer's Mask as she crept her way towards the castle.

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Nightmare was almost beside herself with evil glee, ALL of Equestria was gathered before her in one trembling mass. She remembered that the pink Element of Harmony had lead the little ones off to safety, but no matter, the Night Watch would apprehend them soon enough. What she was really worried about was Silas. He had somehow grown much more powerful since she last saw him, levitating that human into the air with such force was no simple task. Had he found a new source of magic? She would have to keep a cat-like eye on him as best she could until his master plan was revealed.

"MY, WHAT A WONDROUS GATHERING! AND ALL FOR ME! IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU FOALS LEARNED TO APPRECIATE MY BEAUTIFUL NIGHTS! ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MR. MANN?"

"MHMM…I SUPPOSE, ALTHOUGH I STILL DON'T SEE WHY YOU HAD TO TALK ME OUT OF KILLING CELESTIA. HER HORN WOULD HAVE- BAH, NEVER MIND." Silas was tuned out, the thought of ruling the place where he once found true happiness thrilled him to no end…but he couldn't shake the feeling that Pyro wasn't dead. No, impossible, no human could survive that fall into the chasm after being hit like that. Still…

Never the less, he had to remain focused on the task at hand. Nightmare Moon had told him about what had happened to her last time, something called the "Elements of Harmony" or some nonsense had drained her of her dark powers and reverted her back to her…teen years? The alicorn age table wasn't something Silas had readily available back in his universe, all he knew was that they lived a VERY long time. Unless, of course, their abnormally long lives were cut short. Which in it's self was no easy task, but there was always a way.

These "Elements" shouldn't cause too much worry, after all, it appeared to him that they could only drain evil from whomsoever they focused upon, or seal said target away in stone in the case of Discord. Either way, as long as he maintained possession of the Headtaker, it would revive him as many times as he needed to be (although anymore than three reincarnations over a certain period of time and it just got embarrassing).

Nightmare ascended into the cold night air as she observed her subjects, their faces perfect examples of fear and anger towards her. She spread her wings to their fullest and proclaimed with her mightiest Royal Canerlot Voice:

"WELCOME EVEYPONY, TO THE BEGINNING OF THE ETERNAL NIGHT!"

With that, she focused her powers on the plume of clouds above her and cast them into oblivion. Everypony gasped, the moon had been slowly moving closer to Equestria and now dominated the vast majority of the sky, shining almost as brightly as Celestia's sun. Even the HHH took notice at the beautiful orb, his reign over this meek land would be made all the sweeter with the permanent glow of the moon cast down on his subjects.

And his lonely throne.

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'Oh Celestia oh Celestia oh Celestia…I can't be doing this, I CANNOT be in the middle of breaking into the Royal Palace with Nightmare Moon outside, nope…'

Try as she might to disillusion herself, that was what was really happening. Lyra Heartstrings, burglar. Her mother would be SO proud if she could see her daughter now. Although, it was to save Princess Celestia and Equestria as a whole from the terror twins outside. Plus the door was wide-open when she got there, and so far, no guards had stopped her.

That was what bothered her the most. The castle seemed empty, no guards or anypony else to speak of. She stayed on her hooves nonetheless, she had read enough novels to know that hero always got ambushed right when they thought they were safe. 'So,' thought Lyra as she crept further down the silent halls, 'if I stay in a constant state of panic, nopony will get me. That shouldn't be too hard.'

She made her way way up the spiral stare case to where she could only assume was where the Princess' chambers were located and came to a halt at the end of the hallway. Somepony was down there, breathing heavily too. She angled her head as best she could with the Pyromancer's Mask still clinging to her muzzle and looked down the hall. Sure enough, two large stallions stood watch near a massive door with Celestia's sun Cutie Mark embedded in the stain glass, but something was off about these two.

Neither of them looked anything like the Night Watch, and the rest of the Royal Guard had been "dismissed" earlier that evening when their dinner got a little sleeping-powdery. Instead of any sort of armor, they wore battered leather jackets with the letters "H.Y.G" sown onto the back…and oversized Jack-O-Lanterns on their heads that had light illuminating from the eyes and mouth. They stood ridged and motionless save the lowering and raising of their chests and didn't even seem to be aware of each other's existence.

Lyra slowly stepped out into the hall and walked bravely towards them, head held high with a strut to match. And they did absolutely nothing about it. Lyra was a little embarrassed that she had just put on a show for a couple of blind sentries. She sighed and continued towards the door with her head a little lower and her trot a bit less flashy.

"Stop right there! Who are you?" spoke the thug on the left with a voice that sounded like it was echoing before it left his mouth.

Lyra jumped almost as much as her poor heart inside her ribcage as the sudden high-alertness broke the silence that carried on throughout the palace.

She paused for a moment. If she gave away her name and got captured, then Nightmare Moon might go after her friends for trying to save Celestia, she had to think of an alias.

"Who, me? Why, I'm…Pyra! Defender of Justice!" she said striking a pose as her dark cloak fluttered behind her. Now more then ever was she thankful nopony could see or hear her ridiculous codename…and why "Pyra" of all things? She guessed that she was still lingering on Pyro and left it at that.

The twin pumpkin heads glanced at each other, as if to asses what to do with the newcomer, and then bolted at her in a full-tilt charge down the dark hall. Lyra froze up, she wasn't prepared for a head-on attack! She thought she would get another warning or something, what kind of pony just rushes at somepony like that!? Lyra tried to use a teleportation spell (one of the few that she actually knew), but the combined pressure from having just witnessed Pyro's passing and having two large goons rushing at her with the intent to turn her over to their evil Goddess of the Night was a tad straining on the flustered unicorn, and only produced a few whimsy sparks from her horn. She just had to break through them, she just had to make it to the other side of the hall, she just…had to regain control of her runaway hooves.

"Whoa whoa whoa WHOOOOOOOOOOOOA!!!" Lyra suddenly found herself running TOWARDS the hooligans as she picked up speed! She felt a tingling sensation on her back as the Splendid Screen crackled to life and emitted bursts of red energy that caused it, the Pyromancer's Mask, and her hooves to glow in the same manner. She slammed headlong into both of them with the Mask and sent them both flying in opposite directions with a loud "CLANG", followed by an "Ooh" from an invisible crowd.

Once she got the room to stop spinning and picked herself up, she saw two adolescent colts with severed horns lying unconscious in the remains of their pumpkin helmets. How did she do that? Obviously the Splendid Screen had something to do with it, but she had to have activated it somehow. She decided that she would uncover it's secrets later, she had a Princess to rescue.

As the towering doors creaked open, Lyra found herself starring at a gigantic black caldron with a golden bow wrapped around it. It was easily three time bigger than Lyra, and commanded so much space that Celestia's bed had been carelessly tossed into the corner to make more room.

"H-Hello…Princess? Where are you?" whispered Lyra, trying not to draw any attention to herself other than that of the Princess. She heard a muffled whimper, and her ears swiveled towards where it was coming from moments before her head did. It was coming from the caldron. "Well, at least the locating her part was easy enough…now how do I get this thing open…?"

The answer didn't reveal itself for quite some time as she tried to force the lid with magic, pry it off with the Splendid Screen, ram it with the Splendid Screen, she even resorted to bucking the cast-iron sides with her own two hooves before collapsing from exhaustion. As she laid up against the pot she could still hear Celestia trying to say something, but it was all muffled and barley audible.

"Oh…I'm sorry Princess, I did my best." said Lyra as her last bit of hope began to drain away from her. She heard tapping up near the top of the caldron, not as if though Celestia was trying to escape, but trying alert Lyra to something. "I know, but I already tried getting the lid off. It won't- No, no it can't be that easy." Lyra's gaze went not to the black lid, but to the shimmering gold bow that decorated the gargantuan containment unit. She stood once again and warped herself up to the top with two flashes of green light. The bow was pretty simplistic, anypony could have done it with or without magic, and yet it was keeping the Goddess of the Sun at bay. Lyra took a deep breath and grabbed the ribbon with her teeth and pulled as hard as she could, which was much more force than she needed as she tumbled off the black cauldron with the golden ribbon floating lazily behind her.

The lid wobbled around as if though a vast amount of popcorn was being made within the sinister jar before it rocketed towards the ceiling, spewing confetti and disembodied cheers before launching the Princess herself like a bottle rocket.

"Uh-oh! Princess! Don't worry I'll catch-" *WHAM*

Celestia had no reason to doubt Lyra, she caught her alright, but Lyra severely underestimated exactly how much an elegant alicorn actually weighed (no matter how ethereal that made themselves appear to be) and found herself in need of assistance to assist the Princess.

"Thank Dad I'm free," said Celestia as she pulled off a Seal Mask and kicked off two cardboard Shoestring Budgets from her back legs, "now I must save Twilight and the others before- OH! I didn't see you there my dear." The Princess stood and found a mint-green unicorn wearing a ghastly skull for a mask and a dark cowl. Celestia levitated her up to eye level to find she was unconscious from being crushed by her…adequate weight.

"Ohhh…P-Princess? Oh good, I was afraid I was going to have to wait for the guards to wake up before I could get you out of there."

"WHAT!? My guards are ASLEEP!?" shouted Celestia with a mix of anger and shock.

"I-It's not their fault! They were drugged by the Night Watch! I-I-I over heard a couple of them talking about it on my way over h-here." stammered Lyra as she felt Celestia's magic squeeze her like a stress ball, and Celestia was dealing with a lot of stress. "Um, P-Princess…?"

"Hmm? My apologizes, Lyra. I sometimes lose control when my sister tries to overthrow my reign for the second time with the aid of some foul warlock." said Celestia as she grimaced and lowered Lyra back to her hooves.

"That's understandable, I would be furious too if my…wait, how do you know my name?" Lyra's eyes lit up. Had she somehow gained Celestia's attention before?

Celestia's face relaxed as she giggled. "Of course I do, I know everypony's name, it comes with being an all-knowing alicorn. That...and don't you remember me talking to you back in Ponyville?" She winked at Lyra, who went bright red. How could she have been so silly?

Losing a friend, no matter how long you knew them, can have that effect on ponies. As she thanked her lucky stars that she was still wearing her Pyromancer's Mask to hide her embarrassment, she was suddenly hit by a revelation: If Celestia magically knew everypony's name, then maybe…

"Princess, if you don't mind my asking, do you also know the whereabouts of everypony?" Celestia looked surprised. She rolled her eyes as she thought about the question for a moment before replying.

"Not all at once, but I can easily find ponies who are still among the living and are not attempting to block my magic. Ms. Heartstrings, what exactly does this have to do with anything?" she asked raising an elegant eyebrow.

"Can…can you look for Pyro?" Lyra's head drooped as did her ears, "He tried to fight Nightmare Moon and the Horseless Headless Horseman all by himself, he-" Lyra went silent as Celestia wrapped one of her wings around her, Lyra almost felt like she was drifting away into heaven with such soft feathers.

"I'll see what I can do." said Celestia in her most nurturing voice.

She focused her magic starting with the solar system as a whole, becoming aware of every planet and whatever may reside on it's surface. The spell focused tighter and soon became no larger than the planet itself. She could sense all of her little ponies, some were fast asleep while others had been up for hours working away at whatever skill their Cutie Marks had symbolized. She narrowed the scope even further to that of Equestria and shifted her attention to Canterlot…she grimaced at what she saw.

All of her ponies where either being held captive or chased by the wicked Night Watch as they fled to safety, little did they know there was none. They had been corralled into the courtyard on the other side of the castle while Nightmare and the Horseman schemed about what they were to do with all of these frightened ponies. She saw a fresh crater nearby that traveled deep into the mountain, but no Pyro.

"Anything?" asked Lyra after a few moments of silence. Celestia turned towards her, but before she could utter any condolences, the sorrow on her face told Lyra all she needed to know; her friend was gone. Like a candle standing up to a whirlwind, he had been snuffed out well before his time by a destructive and unrelenting force. Lyra's heart sank again, in her mind, she had already accepted that he was gone but something else told her that he was still out there.

"I'm sorry Lyra. He will be commemorated once this nightmare is over. Now come, we must act swiftly if we want to prevent any further tragedies." said the Solar Goddess triumphantly as she and the masked "Pyra" galloped out of the gilded room and down the dark halls of Canterlot Castle.

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Somewhere deep below Canterlot rested an all but forgotten part of Equestrian history; the Crystal Caves. Once used to imprison those who sought it's riches, the caves have a natural ability to distort magic that might have saved it's captives and reduced even a unicorn of Star Swirl the Bearded's skill to that of new born foal learning how to control their magic for the first time.

Needless to say, anypony attempting to locate those trapped within it's glimmering catacombs via magic was wasting their time; the reflective walls bounced the spell all around until it flickered and died like using sonar in the presence of DJ PON-3. Utterly pointless.

It was within these crystalline caverns that Pyro had fallen into his current state of agony. Battered and broken, his body didn't have a single bone left unbroken from Nightmare Moon's devastating attack, his trademark suit was damp in areas where Nightmare's hooves had connected with his torso and caused major internal bleeding along with a collapsed ribcage. His spine was in the most critical condition: If the hundred-ought foot fall hadn't been enough, Pyro also had the misfortune to land squarely on his propane tank, shattering multiple vertebra and leaving the firebug completely paralyzed from the neck down.

Above the neck wasn't much better; whiplash from the fall, and even though his Last Breath had taken the Manticore's share of the Impact, it was still wasn't enough to prevent his own skull from cracking. Pyro had nearly choked a couple of times from the fluid that threatened to fill his punctured lungs but had managed to keep himself conscious and breathing through nothing more than will power.

Pyro had no problem with dying. He had done it many times before (some of his deaths were even mildly amusing), but this was different. He wasn't in his own world, and he didn't know if death here meant death for life. Otherwise, he would have offed himself in order to reappear seconds later in the Spawn Room, completely healthy and ready for action. But, dying now would mean leaving all of the little ponies in their time of need.

The choice was no longer Pyro's, he soon felt a calming coldness work it's way throughout his body as his vision became murky and dark…

…and then suddenly bright.

Pyro forced his now strangely improving eyesight on the blaring glow that brought him back from the brink. The light, although it had to travel all the way through the twists and turns of the Crystal Caves, still shown brightly in the rushing depths. Pyro, even though he lay broken and wounded in a pristine prison still recognized the luminous glow: the Moon.

"…Mhmm…? Murr…"

Pyro knew he couldn't resist any longer. He needed the Infernal Imp. And as the moon's beams filled his eyes, he hoped the ponies wouldn't be afraid. He relaxed, allowing the change to sweep over his body like lava over a cracked island. His Last Breath and Waxy Wayfinder fell away, revealing the classical black gas mask…but now with two little red ears poking out of the sides. The smoke glass goggles cracked in the center. The crystalline cracks made a beautiful, spiderweb-like pattern over the entirety of the eye shields as small chips flew from the lenses. Two golden lenses appeared beneath the ruined goggles and replaced them as Pyro's primary means of sight.

"MrrrrrrRRRRRRUUUUMMM!!!"